


Beneath the Betrayal

by talentedgemx



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon, Clarke doesn't die, Drama, F/F, F/M, Fighting, Happy Ending, Lots of plot, More Sex, NSFW, Nightbloods, No city of light, Plot, Polis, Politics, Romance, Sex, Smut, There will be LOTS of smut, War, but in later chapters, canon-divergent after series 2, hardly any series 3 at all, injuries, lexa doesn't die, lots of feelings, lots of grounder stuff, maybe just the landscape of Polis, multi-charper fic, no AI storyline, no Titus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2018-07-10 23:11:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 221,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7012009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talentedgemx/pseuds/talentedgemx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
<img/></p><p>Okay so I've finally succumbed to the pressure and am posting this on here :)<br/>Beneath the Betrayal is set right after the end of series two this explores the relationship between Clarke and Lexa and whether anything could possibly be salvaged in the aftermath of the mountain. Lots of angst, darkness and soul searching for both characters as well as the drama and danger that awaits them in leading their people against new threats. Budding romance & interactions with other characters. Very NSFW in later chapters. This doesn't follow s3 at all guys except for how Polis looks and it has the Nightbloods, and Titus doesn't exist. This is going to be long and I hope to deliver a story worthy of how Clexa should have been.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. won

**Author's Note:**

> So this begins right at the end of series two but after the first page break there's a bit of a time jump. How long exactly is open to interpretation.
> 
> I really hope you enjoy this - please let me know what you think. As always you can hit me up on [twitter](http://twitter.com/talented_gemx) or on [tumblr](http://talentedgemx.tumblr.com/) :) Am always open to a chat ;)

Lexa strode into her tent, the hilt of her dagger clenched firmly within her fist as it hung at her side, the anger gritted firmly and harshly between her teeth. Her mind was busy with thoughts that raced way too fast, far too furiously. Her breaths coming in deep and purposeful waves as her other hand trembled, clenching desperately into fists at her side; her entire being just no longer able to suppress the fury and frustration at the whole situation.

She felt far too tightly wound for a Commander who had just won a war with hardly any further bloodshed. Not from her people, at least. The souls of those that mattered to her people. They were safe, her warriors outside rejoiced in victory. Her wounded were being tendered to but Lexa could not rejoice. She felt emotional, crushed by the weight of her own decision which was the only decision she could make, even though it saved those that were her own but not even that fact it seemed, could appease the Commander in this moment.

For she felt weak; Lexa hated it but she did. She stood stoic now safely inside her tent knowing that no one who valued their life would dare disturb her. Not now she had spent time with her wounded, talked with her generals and shared a drink with her warriors. Now she could retire alone to her sanctuary where there was nothing left to block out the feelings. No images to occupy her mind other than the look in Clarke's eyes as she turned and left her on the mountain.

Lexa squeezed her eyes shut and tilted her head to the ceiling, sucking in a staggered breath that she forced out through her nose as she tried to gain some rationality. Some perspective. Some sense that hundreds of her people were now safe. It was just Clarke's damn blue eyes. The look on her face. The hurt. The betrayal. The taste on her lips some hours before when they were last stood inside this tent...

Lexa swung herself around and let out a strangled growl, her eyes tearing open as she backhanded everything off the table to her left in one fierce, sweeping motion. Her other hand finding purpose in loosening its grip on her dagger and joining the chaos atop her war table and for just a few moments, Lexa let herself react to the pain she felt stab through her chest.

It pained her enough that she felt it at all, that she couldn't control it but even Lexa knew that anguish needed to be released, and anguish was all she felt. Anguish and loss for the only person since Costia who was able to make her feel like anything other than a fearless leader. A ruthless killer with nothing but these truths in her future until she was released into the next life. She felt sick. Like bile was crawling up from her gut and was slowly consuming her. It gripped her, tightened all around her insides and churned her up, leaving such a disgusting taste in her throat. A rancid sensation within her bones. 

She pushed at her table. Sent maps billowing to the floor as she heaved her anger onto it, as if its sturdy legs could bear the weight of it as she could not. It burned inside of her, ached. Hurt in a way she hadn't hurt in years. It crawled though her veins and scratched at the underside of her skin; this thing that she had done. That she couldn't un-do.

It almost made her wish she hadn't kissed Clarke. That she hadn't seen the beauty in her eyes, the need struggling to find voice there. Hadn't witnessed the determination, courage and pure passion in every inch of her being. She wished she hadn't seen the leader she was and could be, hadn't admired her as much as did. Hadn't felt the tug inside her chest and stirring within her belly whenever they spoke. Whenever they touched. 

Lexa cursed the mountain men for she knew the consequences of this. If it would have been another clan leader onto her she would seek nothing but vengeance for the betrayal, and they would pay for it with their blood. She knew it was done and this, she told herself, would be the last time she would suffer this. For as weak as knew she was for Clarke, she couldn't let it rule her. She couldn't let it torment her as it did now, as it had done on the journey down from the mountain. So she leaned a palm onto the table's surface and crashed a fist with her other hand onto its solid oak, feeling it vibrate up through her wrists and into her arms. She felt the tears sting her eyes although she'd never let them fall. She felt her heart clench again and as she dipped her head and closed her eyes once more, exhaling calmer breaths as she regained some semblance of composure she remembered that kiss one last time. The shade Clarke's blue eyes would flash when she was angry, and how serene they were when she smiled. The way they looked at her with respect. Fearful in the beginning. With something quite the opposite by the end. How she could spot Clarke from anywhere by the gold in her hair, and how she longed to run her fingers through it.

Lexa pulled her top lip through her teeth and then she straightened, heaving in one final breath as she put it all away. Buried it, as much as she was sure it would visit in her dreams but that would be her only allowance. She pushed her shoulders back and squared her jaw, swallowing thickly as Clarke's lips slipped away from her one last time. Her scent and beautiful blue eyes too.

She turned to her bed and started unclipping her armour as she stalked slowly toward it, hearing it clatter behind her as it fell to the floor. It was inevitable she would meet Clarke again, she knew. She could feel it. Clarke was strong. Intelligent, and Lexa was certain she would survive the mountain but that fact was the final wound struck deep into her heart. Penetrating right through the armour she kept on the inside, too. It festered there, and she felt herself drown as she realised if ever a possibility did exist, it would bring them to opposite ends of the battlefield. As enemies.

The only other outcome would be that Clarke wouldn't walk back out of the mountain at all, and Lexa honestly didn't know which one she preferred.

Her forehead furrowed as her eyes just stared vacantly ahead, her heart once more empty. Her soul once more in two.

**

A broken, bloody mess.

That's how she felt. All she could see.

A mountain full of corpses, all laid out before her. Blistered and bruised and beaten.

Blood surrounded her, though there were no remnants of that now. No scars to say she had won a war. No broken bones to say she had toppled a mountain. No battle wounds to say she had annihilated an entire people. Nothing physical, anyway. Just hollow eyes that once saw beauty. An empty hole where her heart once lay beating and images that plagued her mind. Constantly, consistently that served to remind her. To torture her at night. She let them come freely now as she ought to be reminded, she thought, as the taker of so many lives should.

She saw it often, especially over the first few weeks. The faces haunted her; Dante dropping dead before her, her finger fixed on the trigger. Her hand on the lever that caused a massacre. The rows of charred bodies she stepped over to get to her mother. Her people. Jasper's eyes full of hatred. Finn's head dropping forward lifelessly as she pulled the knife from his heart. Lexa's bloodied face as she turned and left her to die. Her and the people she loved. 

Clarke carried it all like a boulder strapped to her back as she spent her days hunting for food while the sun was up. Found suitable places to rest and bathe, struggling at first as she let frustration overtake her. At least she could make fire, she often thought. At least that was something she could do. She was better at it all now, though, more efficient, although the weight from the boulder never eased.

In the beginning she walked for days, wandered aimlessly although she lied to herself, telling her fragile mind she had purpose. The guilt propelling her forward, step after step. Mile after mile, unsure of how far she got before she turned back, an absent thought going out to Jaha and how she might catch up with him. It passed though, as soon as it crossed her mind. She was certain eventually a grounder clan would come across her, or maybe even she'd end up at Polis. Although it would be miraculous if she did.

It made Clarke scoff, then, as she remembered looking into Lexa's eyes and actually consider the Commander's offer of taking her there.

"Polis will change the way you think about us."

She had said.

"You already have."

Clarke laughed aloud. Bitterly. Her hands bracing on her hips as the disdain struck her and then she shook the memory from her mind. The honesty in Lexa's eyes, the curve of her lips in her small, tight, endearing smile. All the signals of a strong alliance. Of a genuine partnership between the two of them, of peace between their people. Of whatever it was that was starting between them, and there was something because Clarke felt it. Lexa exuded it. Her eyes spoke words her lips never would and her body just projected it, her simple words then confirming it.

"But you just let them burn."

Clarke had accused her.

"Not everyone. Not you."

It was almost out of nowhere but wasn't at the same time. It caught Clarke off guard but it sparked something inside her all the same. Something she had been feeling but was holding back; something like desire, and something a lot like need. Lexa could be magnetic and sometimes it was like she was peering into Clarke's soul but she just couldn't think about it. Not now. Not ever. Not about Lexa's warm and inviting eyes, asking permission and then granting sanctuary, for however short a time. Nor about her soft lips and the gentle way she kissed her. The way her fingers pressed into the side of her neck, her thumb grazing along the hard line of her jaw. Soothing her. Clarke fell into it gladly. She kissed her back because it was exactly what she wanted. Exactly what she needed; a formidable force such as Lexa wanting her, caring for her. Perhaps needing her back just the same. It was like adding oxygen to the kindling amber within her gut. A slow burn that warmed her quickly, spreading up into her chest and igniting something there before she had to pull back. Before she realised properly what was happening. Before her mind kicked back in and took over.

She couldn't think about Lexa's dejected eyes. The vulnerability in them, the hope sparking when Clarke gave her a whisper of it. Lexa was so open in that moment. So beautiful, and the least Commander-like Clarke had seen her be.

But then she betrayed her. Lexa broke their alliance and walked away, leaving her to die on that mountain for all she was aware of. She kissed her, and then she betrayed her.

Clarke felt hatred and she couldn't dispel it. Not yet. It bubbled up inside her and took residence in her chest. Squeezed at her heart, made her stomach churn and her skin prickle. It was pure and obscene, how it consumed and clouded her mind.

She wiped out a people.

She burned three-hundred of Lexa's warriors alive.

She put a knife through Finn's heart. All for the good of the alliance.

But Lexa's eyes were big and green. The colour of the ground where there was grass first beneath Clarke's feet. They were enchanting and they stared at her with expectation. With patience. With a desire to teach her, advise her and with something else altogether that, Clarke didn't want to consider.

Because it was Lexa's fault. All of it.

And that made Clarke sit a little easier within her own skin. When her blood boiled and her heart beat uncontrollably against her ribs. When she was disgusted with her actions, horrified by her choices and her mind swam with chaos it was her go to place. Somewhere to distract her anger so she would point it with venom at those calming green eyes. Those soft lips and gentle hands because anyone else she could possibly blame was dead.

In her quieter moments though, she could house the blame herself. Try and reason with it. Justify it, although it was difficult to do alone and almost every time she would fail. That's when Lexa helped, when Clarke would watch in her mind as the Commander turned her back and walked away. If nothing else, it usually helped Clarke get at least a few hours sleep.

The irony wasn't lost on her, but she chose not to think about it.

The worst part of it, though, was that she understood. Clarke would have done the same thing but that honestly brought her little peace. It didn't erase the image of countless burned bodies from her mind, nor did it quell the pain she felt in her heart at the betrayal itself. It still hurt, it all did. Everything, and she feared it always would. She was certain she wasn't a leader, although Lexa seemed to think so. If she was, was every leader doomed to this type of torture? Would every leader feel like this? As she did? Did Lexa, at the choices she had to make? At the choice she made on the mountain?

Clarke didn't think so.

"Hey, Princess."

Clarke exhaled a pensive breath as the words found her, echoing quietly around the barren cave she was inside. As much as she craved the solitude, as if human interaction would somehow be the end of her in her current state of mind she longed for his words all the same. Looked forward to them, and when they came they warmed her.

She turned to the entrance of the cave, a non-existent smile barely touching her lips. "Hey, Bell."

He smiled in return, not commenting on her withered appearance. The dark circles around her eyes. The way her clothes didn't fit her, not anymore. The way it got worse every time. He dipped his head a little and came further inside the cave, dropping a bag to the floor. He had commented on it all before but it always fell on deaf ears. "This is getting more difficult," is what he chose instead. 

Clarke sighed, "I know."

Bellamy looked around the bare interior of Clarke's latest hideout. It wasn't unfamiliar, and it looked the same as any other Clarke had slept in over the last few weeks. Cold and empty. Dark. "We can't use this cave again. It's the third time."

Clarke nodded. All this she knew. "I know." Her voice was quiet.

Bellamy looked at her, then. His eyes raking over her fragile frame although he knew she was anything but. She was almost stone, now, but he didn't care. He exhaled a sharp breath and then moved to where she stood, wrapping his arms tightly around her and holding her close, trying to protect her as much as he could. As much as she would let him.

It took a moment for Clarke to return it. Her eyes closing momentarily as her arms hung loosely at his back. Sometimes she longed for human contact. Sometimes she felt like it would break her. Whenever it came though, whenever Bellamy did hug her she struggled to find the warmth there. She struggled to find the comfort.

Bellamy pulled back and held her at her shoulders. "How have you been?"

Clarke blinked a few times as she tried to find her voice. Not talking for long stretches of time made her voice scratchy and weak. It felt like the words vibrated through her throat. "Fine," she replied, coughing lightly. "How is everyone? My mom?"

Bellamy frowned at the dullness in her eyes. The pasty appearance of her skin. The same questions she always asked. "Alright," he said faintly. "Still looking for you."

Clarke shook her head and pulled out of his grip. "I wish she wouldn't." She walked to the other side of the cave.

"I could tell them-"

"-No," Clarke snapped back, turning to face him. "I don't want them to know we meet."

There was no point in Bellamy arguing, this he knew. They had argued about it many times before, especially when he first stumbled across her. It didn't stop him from asking, though, every time since.

"How's Jasper?"

Bellamy's hands found his hips as he pushed out a heavy breath. He wished she wouldn't do this to herself; he could see the pain in her eyes even from across the dimly lit cave. Her shoulders were slumped with it. The guilt.

"Better," he nodded. His voice low. "Still not talking to Monty."

Clarke felt the disappointment heave through her chest. "It wasn't his fault."

Bellamy squared his chin. "It was necessary-"

Clarke held out her hand, her forehead feeling heavy. "-Lets not, okay?" She went over it enough in her head she didn't need to verbalise it as well.

Bellamy though, had other ideas. He straightened his back and gestured toward the world outside the cave. "Clarke you can't keep circling the woods."

Clarke sighed and turned around again, a hand pushing through her straggled hair.

He knew what she'd be thinking but he pressed on regardless. He needed to make her listen. It was apparent in the strength of his tone, in the worry lines on his face. "You're running out of places to hide and you're driving yourself insane out here, by yourself."

Clarke pushed out the words through clenched teeth, still refusing to look at him. "I spent a year in a metal cell, Bellamy." She closed her eyes. "At least here I have fresh air and room to move."

Bellamy took a few steps closer to her. "And what about the grounders?"

Clarke's hand went out to the side of the cave and she ran her palm softly over the jagged surface, the coolness easing the clamminess of her skin. "What about them?" She asked, angling her head toward him but keeping her gaze on the daylight ahead.

This was something Bellamy was sure about. Something that was pretty obvious, to him. "Well if out people don't find you they might, and then what?"

Clarke really didn't care about it. She sucked in a breath and then turned to him. She appreciated that he cared, but she really was sick with going over this. "Look, its fine at the moment, okay?"

He just glared at her.

"I'll move further out." She gestured with her hand. "The forest is full of places to hide."

"And that's it, huh?" He took another step toward her. "That's not a plan, Clarke."

"I don't need a plan."

She was getting agitated, Bellamy could tell but he didn't care. "Come home with me," he pressed.

She scoffed, at that.

"I'm serious, Clarke."

She felt her skin begin to twitch. "I can't."

He crowded her then, stepped into her personal space. "We can get you through it. I can."

She pushed past him, clipped him with her shoulder and went to the opposite side of the cave. "No." She had to force herself to keep her emotions in check. She felt the anger coming back, the heat crawling outwards through her veins. "I need to do this my way."

Bellamy was frustrated. "This is not a way, Clarke. Your people miss you."

She squeezed her eyes shut, her voice quiet. "They don't."

It was moment before he spoke. He sighed and shook his head, wishing she could just see what he saw. A hero. "You saved them."

Clarke blew out a long, soothing breath. She opened her eyes and looked at him. "So did you." They became steely, then. "Their gratitude is misplaced."

He was losing. He knew he would even before he began trying. His chest collapsed as he pushed out a breath. "That's crap, Clarke."

She took a step closer to him, her shoulders back, her jaw rigid. "You infiltrated the mountain, Bellamy. Raven blew up the generators. Octavia worked and trained and cut down enemies in the hallways." She swallowed, hard. "That was something. I stood around in tents and forged an alliance that meant nothing."

Bellamy shook his head.

Her expression became lifeless, a lump forming in her throat she couldn't hope to remove. "All I did was massacre people. Even the innocent."

He pushed the words out even though he knew they wouldn't achieve anything. She was set on this, and no matter what he said she wouldn't be swayed. "It wasn't just your decision."

The hardness in her eyes faded, a little. "I can't go back, Bell." She sighed. "Not yet."

His head dropped forwards as his hands once again found his hips, the last two words making Clarke think of Lexa, much to her distress. She felt her blood start to sizzle again. She hated this anger, but she had no idea how to stop it.

"You achieved great things, Clarke." He said quietly, to remind her. He wouldn't give up. Not on her. "The alliance was a good thing."

Clarke grinned sardonically, at that. Her head tipping towards the ceiling.

"We wouldn't have got near the mountain without it."

Clarke saw the bodies again. The blood. The decision she perhaps wouldn't have to have made if she hadn't left her. Hadn't withdrawn her army. Hadn't walked away. The anger seethed inside her. "She betrayed me!" and this time her voice was full of rage.

Bellamy felt it across the distance between them. Clarke was wrought and it made him nervous. He eyed her curiously. Worriedly. "Are you going for revenge?"

Her eyes flashed, her chest heaving with pent up aggression. It made her think, though, and she calmed her tone. "Is the council?"

Bellamy took a step back as he licked his lips. "No," he said after a long moment. "Marcus and I don't think it's the way to go."

Clarke nodded and let the words sink in. "And my mother?"

Bellamy tilted his head, a little. "She's concerned now there's no alliance. She doesn't know what Lexa might do but," he took a breath. "She's far too concerned about you right now to worry about that."

Clarke nodded, biting on her lower lip. "Good."

Bellamy regarded her as he watched her think. It worried him more. "So are you? Because you can't do it alone."

His words pulled her out of it, her mind now made up. She flicked her eyes to him. "Stop trying to protect me."

Bellamy stepped in front of the entrance to the cave anticipating what she might do. "I miss our leader," he said rather desperately. "We all do, and we all know that..." he trailed off, not sure if he should say it.

It made her pause. She squinted her eyes. "You all know what?"

Bellamy battled with himself. He didn't want to say it but he had to. "If the grounders do initiate contact."

Clarke snorted. She peeled her gaze from him and went to the bag he dropped to the floor when he first got there. "I won't be there to deal with it?"

Bellamy exhaled, loudly. He knew this wasn't the way to approach it, but he sensed she was about to leave and it was important. Important to the survival of their people. "The Commander would want to deal with you."

Clarke picked up the bag. "I wouldn't be so sure of what the Commander wants." She said it so quietly she wasn't sure if Bellamy heard. It wasn't meant for him, anyway. She shouldered the bag and turned from the wall. "Is this you talking, or Kane?"

Bellamy sighed. "He has a point."

She took a few steps toward him, and the exit. "I don't hold anymore sway over the Commander than anyone else. I'm not sure if I ever did."

His body language became more forceful. "We need you, Clarke. Come home."

She shook her head. "I'm not the leader anymore. Stop asking me to be."

He held a palm up to her, floating it in the space between them. "I know you want to punish yourself, but this isn't the way." His voice was sincere, his eyes full of compassion.

Clarke stepped around him. "I know," she whispered, and she actually meant it. She knew she was losing herself. Knew she needed to find some way back although she was certain, the person she was before she set foot on the ground was gone.

Bellamy turned as Clarke walked past him. Watched as she stepped out into the sun. "Let me know where you'll be?" he asked hopefully. "Same spot?" There was a place Clarke left him her new location. A code they'd invented so no one else would know what it meant.

She turned back to him as he leaned in the entrance to the cave, her eyes squinting now due to the afternoon sun. "No. I've seen someone looking around there. It's not safe."

Bellamy frowned. "Who?"

"I don't know," she dismissed it. She was good at observing. She liked it. She knew the Sky people's guard rotations. How far they patrolled. Lexa's scouts were a little more unpredictable. She knew they were watching her people, just as she knew her people were watching them. A patient game of cat and mouse. She shook her head. "A grounder. Different face paint though, heavier armour."

Bellamy became very interested. "Different how?"

Clarke shrugged. There were many things she had witnessed in the forest. Many different grounders as she assumed they were meeting with Lexa about various things. She watched as much as she could before she always slipped away. "Triangles?" she commented. "I'm not sure." It's not like she ever got much of a look at their faces. She pondered for a moment. "Maybe it's best we don't meet for a while. You're right, it's getting too dangerous."

The panic flickered through Bellamy's eyes. He could see he was losing her. "Clarke."

Her tone became defiant. "I'm putting you in a compromising position. Lying to the council."

He was nervous. He had no idea what she was planning. He cocked his head. "What are you going to do?"

She shook her head and turned to look into the density of the forest. "Don't worry about me," she murmured. 

He stepped behind her, his posture deflated. Half of him wanted to just pick her up and take her home, knock her out if necessary. He cared too much about her to let her do something stupid. To let her wander off into the unknown but at the same time, he respected her too much not to let her. She was the stronger of the two of them, he knew, and he supposed that's why she bore it as much as she did. More than he did. "Too late."

She looked at him, then. Looked into his worried eyes and she gave him a small smile. She touched his arm. "I'm sorry. Look after them."

He knew this was it. "How will I find you?"

"You won't."

**

Clarke knew she was walking heavy footed. She didn't care. She also knew she was being followed. She didn't care about that either. She was in plain sight, not using the trees for cover, not really caring what might happen to her, although she figured she was pretty safe. Sort of. But then if death came to her, so be it. She was certain she hadn't quite thought this through properly. Weighed up all the consequences of what might happen but she was lost. So utterly and completely lost and just so, so tired of it.

She was tired of the isolation and so much silence her thoughts battled with each other inside her otherwise empty mind. She wasn't sure how much longer she could handle the torment. Bellamy was right. Walking the edge of the forest didn't help. Taking her anger out on the beasts she killed for food didn't help either. She had even tried going back home. Back to camp Jaha. She had stared at the electric fence for two nights, watching her people. But then she left. They reminded her, like she knew they would.

Clarke heard the rustling of the trees all around her, the late afternoon sun setting now and the air considerably crisper. Colder. She knew where she was. She reached into the bag that hung from her shoulder and drew her gun, her eyes alert to the twitching of the forest at her sides.

She took another step.

"Halt! Drop your weapon!"

Clarke stopped moving, the gruff voice echoing out around her. She tried to pinpoint its location but couldn't quite determine it. She heard people moving around her, the looming darkness making it hard to see. The grounders were light on their feet. Fast, and excellent marksmen. She knew they were trying to scare her. The only thing she had going for herself was her gun.

Clarke tried to take a calming breath but it didn't work. She felt her hands tremble but she stood her ground and after a few moments, she took another step forward.

An arrow quickly impacted the earth just in front of her foot and she felt her heart jump to her throat, the anxiety rushing through every inch of her. It tingled in her fingers, pulsated in her toes, throbbed at the side of her neck. She licked her lips and this time didn't move.

"Drop your weapon!"

Clarke swallowed. It was too late to get out of this now. She pushed out a breath and raised her weapon, slowly.

A loud rustling came from her right so she turned sharply, aiming her gun roughly at the grounders chest. He emerged from a shadow, his sword in his hand to his side. He didn't appear aggressive however he was still imposing. He was tall, wore a mask over the lower half of his face but his eyes were exposed, covered in a streak of black. He was bulky, his shoulders broad, his head shaved. Clarke didn't recognise him but that didn't particularly surprise her.

He took a few more steps but still stopped a good distance away, though. "Clarke kom Skaikru," he said slowly. Calmly. He wasn't threatening and his eyes took in her appearance. The posture, the strength of her stare. This was the leader who brought down the mountain. Their ninety-seven year old enemy. This girl with only a few others. He knew what he needed to do. He had his orders if anyone stepped within his boarders with any kind of weapon, even if it was the leader of the Skaikru. "Put down your weapon."

Clarke said nothing. Just stared evenly at him, her expression as blank as possible. Her shoulders were back and she puffed out her chest, the pain in her eyes evident and it projected across the distance between them. All around her. The grounder thought her to be unpredictable, unlike what he had seen of the leader before the mountain.

He took another step forward and lowered his voice. "Do not threaten us. You will be captured."

Clarke remained silent.

He lowered his voice even further, wary of the spears he knew that were pointed at Clarke's chest. "You will be treated as hostile."

Again Clarke was silent. She was aware of the danger around her. The grounders hidden in the woods. She knew very well if she made any sharp movement she would be dead. Gradually, though, her gun dipped but only slightly. The gaze in her eyes still fierce but she wasn't about to fire. That wasn't her intention.

Clarke very slowly licked her lips and tried to weigh up the grounder in front of her. It wasn't their style to usually talk a threat down. Had they been waiting for her? Were they prepared for her to do something like this? She released the breath she'd been holding and thought better of it. They were obviously prepared for some kind of attack, Lexa was too smart not to be. That was of course, if the Sky people had managed to survive the mountain. Obviously the Commander knew about that too. Honestly Clarke didn't know what to think but she felt the sweat crawling up her neck regardless, her fingers that hadn't stopped shaking. Her heart beating furiously in her chest. It was one thing to think about wasting away in the forest, disintegrating into nothingness but it was another thing entirely to have death staring at you from several feet. 

The grounder eyed her carefully, confused at the situation. To start with he had expected reinforcements to back her up, he knew though from the positions of their men that there wasn't. Not another Sky person anywhere close. She was alone, and that was dangerous in this forest. A thought went to why else she could be here, if not in search of revenge but it wasn't up to him to think. It was up to him to follow orders and he was giving her more chance than Indra would. "Are you a threat to us?" 

Clarke blinked repeatedly, extremely anxious at the stare off that seemed to be lasting forever. She expected to be ambushed, pushed to the ground. Tied up. She didn't have an answer for him, and if she did she still wouldn't have revealed it. She heard more rustling behind her, light steps being taken in the thick grass. Her eyes moved to the side but her head remained forward. She swallowed again as she tried to work out how many. Four maybe? Five? A lot just for her, she thought. 

The grounder spoke again. "Are you a threat to the Commander?"

She looked back at him and for a moment she thought maybe he was being compassionate, but she quickly realised how ridiculous that was. She was the enemy, after all. Their Commander had made sure of that. All of a sudden he was closer to her and he stared at her intently, judging her maybe. Deciding.

Still Clarke was silent.

He took a step back. "Take her."

**

Clarke woke up in a cell. Her head hurt and she could feel cold metal around her wrists. She could hear voices across from her, speaking in Trigedasleng but even if she could understand it, it was muffled anyway. She was lying on her side on the ground, slightly balled up with her forearms up in front of her face. She didn't move, trying to get a sense of what was going on, not that she particularly cared. Whatever was coming she deserved. It would be good for her, she thought. She needed punishment. Retribution, and she didn't know any better place for it than this. 

"Where are her weapons?" Indra commanded from the grounder next to her, the tone of her voice rigid. Clarke couldn't understand the words but her tone spoke volumes. Indra held Clarke's bag open in front of her, the contents of which being a single gun and a few meagre supplies. Indra looked at her warrior as if she couldn't believe it.

"That is the only one, General," the grounder replied. Clarke knew it was the same grounder who confronted her in the woods. The gravelly undertone in his voice unmistakable.

Indra raised a brow. "Only one?"

"Yes, General."

Indra nodded, closed the bag and dropped it to the floor. Clarke then heard footsteps approaching her and so she turned over and scooted back until she found a wall to sit against. She balled her hands into fists and held her arms tight to her chest.

Indra stopped as soon as Clarke moved and then looked down at her when she was against the wall. She wore her armour proudly, her hands fixed on her weapons ready to draw them at any second. Her shoulders were back and her jaw line rigid and it made Clarke wonder if the grounders were born that way. Proud and solid and ready to fight. Perhaps it was genetic.

"Why are you here?" Indra directed at Clarke, her English words as clipped as her native ones.

Clarke just looked at her, vulnerable in her surroundings. Exposed in her restraints. She wondered if she looked as scared as she felt, and she also wondered if it was obvious that she didn't care. Clarke was used to scared. She had been scared ever since that spear hit Jasper in the chest. Honestly she just wanted to sleep and if she had to be knocked out for that, then so be it. She would welcome it.

Indra sucked in a breath and spoke through her teeth, leaning forward a little to stare her captive straight in the eye. "You will not get near the Commander if revenge is what you seek."

Clarke raised her eyebrows in a show of mock defiance. She knew it. Clarke didn't think it was anything less than the Commander deserved, however. At least today she didn't think so.

The silence was clearly aggravating the General. Her volume went up several notches and she also took a step closer, her fist tightening around her dagger. "You may have defeated the mountain," she hissed, her words condescending, "but you still burned three-hundred of our warriors alive. Even if you and your people had perished on the mountain the number wouldn't even compare." The last part she practically spat and Clarke could easily see the fury levelled deep within her eyes. "Some may think you mighty; the courageous Commander from the Sky but you will always be the murderer of my people," she stepped closer still and her voice took on a deathly chill. "And until my last breath I will seek revenge."

Clarke didn't move. She just sat against the wall and prepared herself for what was coming. Indra was terrifying. Harsh, relentless and she had no idea how Octavia handled training under her. The look in the General's eyes was enough to make grown men run and hide. Clarke felt a chill and it wasn't from the cold. In fact she was sweating and she had to take slow, deep breaths so she wouldn't start to panic. No one was coming to save her. This is what she wanted. This is what she walked gladly into. If there was one thing Clarke was good at it was focusing her mind on one thing and seeing it through. It was her job since the drop ship landed. Since she first put her foot on the ground. 

Indra continued to glare at her before she turned back to her warrior and Clarke was able to relax her expression. She swallowed heavily and licked her lips. What Indra had said was right. She did give the order to burn their warriors, it didn't matter how much of a, 'them or us,' situation it was. She killed them, and she deserved punishment. It was the same as in the mountain; the last resort to save her people. So there may not have been any children but they were still people with families, with children of their own. Just because most of the bodies had been vaporised and she didn't physically have to step over them didn't make it any less horrific. She executed them all the same. Indra was right to seek justice.

Indra approached her warrior. "Inform the Commander of our latest prize." She leaned down and picked up Clarke's bag. "Give her this. I'm sure she will be very interested to find who is in our cells."

"Yes, General," the grounder responded, taking the bag from Indra and with a final look toward Clarke, he turned and exited through a passage at the end of the cell.

After a moment Indra stalked back over to her, a tight smile on her face shining with distaste. She exhaled like she found something amusing and paced a little in front of Clarke's feet. She tilted her head and looked at Clarke smugly. "Do you feel so mighty now, Clarke kom Skaikru?"

Clarke just eyed her warily.

"No longer under the Commander's protection."

Clarke scoffed and it made Indra's eyes flash. She knew exactly what the Commander's protection was worth and it screamed from her tired, weary, double-crossed eyes.

Indra grinned then, and Clarke felt her blood burn. "Does that make you angry, Sky Princess?"

Clarke knew Indra was trying to provoke a reaction but she wasn't about to give her the satisfaction. As much as she felt like it in that instance. She was too tired anyway, her legs were weak and feet ached now she was slumped in a corner. Her will worn down by her own demons and they were far scarier than Indra could ever be.

"Your silence won't help you," Indra continued as she straightened her shoulders and walked back over to the far wall. "You came to us with your weapon drawn. Hostile." When she got to the wall she turned around, her voice raising a little. "The Commander will treat you as such. Don't think your pretty eyes will save you."

Clarke looked away then, tired of the conversation. She leaned her head against the wall and jumped when she heard Indra shout something toward the exit in Trigedasleng. Clarke looked around the cell quickly and within moments two bulky grounders walked in, Indra instructing them to do something as far as she could tell and then they were heading for her.

Clarke clenched her fists tighter and drew her knees up closer to her chest, bracing herself for a beating but the men simply heaved her up and brought her forward away from the wall. The chains were long so they placed her almost central in the cell, standing forwards facing Indra and with one grounder on either side of her. They stood to attention, their faces hidden by masks and each held a spear out in front of them, in the hand that was furthest away from Clarke.

Clarke cast her eyes over each of them before Indra caught her attention by taking a few steps closer to her. This time her expression was neutral, or as neutral as Indra could make it. "Clarke kom Skaikru," she started again. "Why are you here?"

Indra's voice was loud and booming, and it made Clarke's ears hurt. She squinted her eyes and she wished someone would just hit her already. She rolled her eyes and remained silent.

"Do you seek revenge on the Commander?"

Clarke was getting sick of the same questions. She thought about saying yes, just as much as she thought about saying no. Yes would surely get her killed. No would just cause further confusion. Clarke wanted them unsure. She wanted Lexa to have no idea what was coming. It seemed throughout their whole alliance Lexa was the one who knew what to do. She made the decisions and she could make them just like that, without consequence. This would keep her guessing and who knows. Maybe in the end she would slit Lexa's throat.

Indra took another step forward and looked Clarke straight in the eyes. She grinned, then, and it was just as odd as the first time. "So be it," she whispered and then she said something else to her guards before turning abruptly and leaving.

Clarke's eyes widened as she had no idea what was going on. She was certain Indra would hit her, at least once or something. It was definitely something she wanted to do, Clarke could see it in her eyes. Maybe she was coming back. Perhaps she was just fetching some kind of torture device. Clarke swallowed at the thought.

She glanced to either side of her as much as she could without making it too obvious. Her guards just stared ahead, stoic and rigid. That same genetic grounder look. Lexa did stoic and rigid very well.

Clarke was suddenly very aware of how much her back hurt, as well as her legs and feet. It was all she could do to stop herself from fidgeting from side to side. She wished Indra would hurry back. She wished one of her guards would whack her with their spear. Anything. This reminded her of Lincoln, and how Bellamy tied him up in the drop ship. This was similar, she thought, and she was honestly losing track of the differences between their people.

She felt herself sway a little as she stepped forward, the grounder to her right reaching out and grabbing her shoulder and hauling her back in place. It shook her alert, if anything and she turned her head to him, but he continued to stare forwards. She was expecting him to say something but he didn't and so she turned to look at the other one who also continued to stare straight ahead. She thought on it, for a moment and she considered the fact that maybe she wasn't going to get a beating after all. 

Clarke nodded to herself and bit on her bottom lip. When she spoke her words were scratchy. Her throat exceptionally dry. It pretty much came out as a whisper. "How long have I got to stand here?"

The grounders didn't move and so Clarke took in a heavy breath. It was going to be a long night.

**

Clarke was hallucinating, she was certain. Although she wasn't sure if she was alive. She was beyond exhausted, beyond weak. She had no idea if it was day or night, of how many hours she had been kept standing in this place. She was ready to break. Collapse to the floor if only the grounders would let her. She would occasionally get a longer few seconds than normal. Her legs would wobble, she would shuffle about where she stood and she would feel herself drop asleep until her knees impacted the stone floor. She would fall forward and this would rouse her before one of her guards would haul her up again. He would keep his hand firmly planted on her shoulder until she regained her footing and her knees locked back into place and then she would start to sway all over again. She didn't know if she cried. Didn't know if she begged. All she knew is that she swore to herself she wouldn't in the beginning but, it was long since the beginning now. Or at least that was how it seemed.

She received a massive jolt to her ribs that wrenched her out of her latest haze. She opened her eyes and tried to focus but it was difficult. There was someone in front of her, standing against the far wall of the cell. Indra, maybe? Clarke didn't know. She prayed she was here to floor her. She blinked a few times but it didn't help and she could feel herself stumbling all over the place.

Clarke heard a voice, then. One she was familiar with and then someone else appeared and hurried over to her, thrusting something under her nose that Clarke physically leapt away from, the grounder to her left grabbing her shoulder to keep her still. Clarke brought her fists to her nose as she scrunched her whole face up, a burning sensation rushing up to her brain and down her throat. After a moment she shook her head a little vigorously, her eyes blinking open as wide as they could go.

That's when she saw her. The Commander. A little blurry but there all the same.

It took her a few minutes but Clarke finally managed to control her reaction to whatever the hell that was. She was alert, however tired and broken down she was. It was a weird feeling but all she could do was scoff at Lexa, standing there as stoic as always. Her expression as neutral as always. Her eyes calm and her jaw square.

Clarke looked to the ceiling and rolled her eyes. She wondered how she must look to the Commander now. If she felt like kissing her now. She shook her head and then looked down at the ground. She felt a surge of pain shoot up her neck and she winced at it, which only reminded her of the pain in her legs and feet and the utter, excruciating burning of her knees. She had no idea how many times she had fallen on them but there was some blood staining the stone in front of her.

Lexa gave an order for the grounder who scurried in with Clarke's vial of wakeup dust to leave them, or at least that's what Clarke assumed as the girl quickly ran out of there.

Lexa looked at her, then. Her eyes blacked out with war paint and every bit as piercing as she remembered. Her clothes the very same as when Clarke last saw her. Everything the same except the blood stains on her face. They were gone. "I expected an army, Clarke," she said. "And more of your exploding weapons."

Clarke fixed her eyes on her. She couldn't help it. Lexa was so formidable, so imposing. So devout and noble and devious and manipulating and well, beautiful. Clarke forced her eyes shut before they opened again just as quickly. Her mind was so cloudy she couldn't think straight. She couldn't keep one thought going long enough before another took over. Her mind buzzed and roared at the same time. The torture doing its job wondrously.

Lexa linked her hands behind her back and stepped forward. She tilted her head and regarded her prisoner slowly, taking in every detail on display before her. "Are you here to slit my throat, Clarke of the Sky People?"

Clarke licked her lips. She found if she focused on Lexa's words, the buzzing went away a little but she still wasn't going to answer, even if that was what she wanted to do. Even if it would be nice to see the reaction in the Commander's eyes to hear that Clarke wanted to kill her in her own bed. Whilst she slept. Clarke wondered if Lexa would let herself react to that. If she would have any reaction to begin with.

Lexa squared her jaw again when no answer was forthcoming. She sighed, nonchalantly. "You are a threat if you do not inform me otherwise."

Clarke twitched her neck. She was a threat even if she told her she wasn't. Surely? She pulled her lips into a tight smile.

The Commander looked away from her then, taking a few steps to her left before coming back to the centre of the cell. "Are you here to gather secrets, as my Generals suggest?"

Again, nothing.

"Are you here to distract me from an army marching at my gates?" She stared at Clarke, her brow slightly raised and Clarke stared back.

Lexa's voice gave nothing away, as it generally didn't. She was so hard to read when she chose to be that way, and Clarke was certain that would be the case even if her brain wasn't thudding inside her skull.

Lexa linked her hands behind her back once more. "Your intentions are unclear, Clarke." Her voice was flat. No feeling in there at all. "Tell me what they are or this will continue."

Her eyes were so different, Clarke considered, as her forehead started to furrow. From how they once looked at her to how they did so now. Clarke found it surreal, as how in those moments they conveyed so much, were so open and so soft compared to how closed and cold they were now. Clarke felt so bitter, so hurt, she just didn't know what to do with it.

Lexa sighed, loudly. "This grows tiresome." She turned around and dipped her head at the wall before she turned back again, her eyes unflinching as she took the journey over to her prisoner once more. She breathed out calmly through her nose and kept her shoulders back, her expression neutral.

The guards had already moved away a few feet but were still close enough to stop any threat Clarke might be in case she was able to summon some energy from anywhere. Clarke was honestly ready to drop to her knees however there was no way she would in front of the Commander.

Lexa broke eye contact and flicked her gaze to every corner of Clarke's face, the silence filling the cell only getting louder under such scrutiny. It confused Clarke, made her feel uncomfortable but she had ceased presuming anything of the Commander since what happened on the mountain. She watched as Lexa swallowed and then she leaned into Clarke's ear, an action that surprised her and when she spoke, it made Clarke flinch. 

"Please, Clarke," Lexa whispered. "So I can stop this."

Lexa pulled back but didn't move away and for a moment, for just a split second Clarke thought she saw pleading. She thought she saw compassion, something earnest and heartfelt in the Commander's eyes but just as quickly as she thought she saw it, it was gone. Clarke's mind couldn't make sense of it but then again, she was probably hallucinating the whole thing anyway.

After a moment or so of silence Lexa took a few steps back. "As you wish," she said, with a slight tilt of her jaw. She nodded at the guards who stood back in their earlier positions. "I hope you change your mind, Clarke."

And then she was gone.


	2. tu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke suffers at the hands of the Trikru and Lexa manages to pull her emotions together in order to speak with her. A heated conversation ensues and Clarke battles with what she wants and needs while Lexa offers her a choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Root, huh? Myeh.
> 
> Anyway thanks for the feedback on the first chapter guys :) please continue to let me know what you think - reviews always make my day!
> 
> Just a word on the format: Long conversations between grounders will be typed out in English. If there is a non-Trigedasleng speaking person in the room where possible I will indicate it's supposed to be in Trigedasleng. For example this first bit below is all in English, but the conversation is only between grounders so it's safe to assume they would be speaking in their native language.
> 
> Short phrases/pieces of dialogue between grounders will be written in Trigedasleng (or as correct as I can get it), but I will kinda inflect what it's about so it doesn't completely ruin the flow of the story. However the translations will all be at the bottom in full.
> 
> Hope that makes sense! Hope you like this next bit. Enjoy :) Remember flashbacks are in italics...

_All Lexa could hear was Indra's voice. Loud in her ear, loud throughout the tent telling her just how much of a threat Clarke posed. Going through every possible reason as to why she might be there. On their land. In their cells. Why she carried a gun there, why she refused to lower it from Dax's chest. Why she now refused to speak. Why she wanted to be punished._

_It went on and on. Over and over._

_Dax informed her first of Clarke's arrival and Indra arrived not longer after that. Lexa really hadn't expected this. Not to have Clarke suddenly upon her like this. Alone, and by all accounts dangerous. She had known Clarke was alive. That she survived the mountain. Beaten it. Conquered it and she was impressed, of course. Never doubting for a moment the type of leader Clarke could be, that she possessed the necessary measures to get it done. She knew though, as well, that Clarke wouldn't be so sure of herself._

_Lexa had seen the doubt in her eyes. The way it troubled her._

_She knew Clarke would be hurting. Knew she would have been hurting through all those weeks spent in the forest, and now she was hurting in her cells._

_Dax stood to attention when he first entered the tent, Lexa sitting on her throne busy in her thoughts as she regarded her war table. The piece of land the Sky People settled on indicated by a small metal arch. Her warriors dotted around it. By the time she was due in Polis a decision needed to be made. Friend or foe? Part of the alliance or not? Evicted or allowed to stay and if the latter, what was Lexa getting in return? The Sky People posed a problem. That was a fact._

_If they were to stay they needed to be in the alliance. Lexa couldn't have an unaligned clan on Trikru land, she was the alliance after all. As long as they remained they were protected by the borders of Lexa's land, almost by default. If they were unaligned, then they were invaders and Lexa didn't look forward to discussing this with the Skaikru leaders. She did not anticipate Abby Griffin to be receptive at all. Nor would Clarke be, she assumed. After the mountain._

_It was a headache. And Lexa hated headaches but if she could align the Ice Nation, then she could align the Sky People she was certain of it. Even though they were certainly a different breed with what she assumed would be very different expectations._

_She almost missed it, when Dax first said it. When he mentioned Clarke's name. He had hurried into her tent and started speaking as Lexa was lost in her thoughts of strategies and the probability of war. Her mind darting briefly to Clarke as it always did when she considered the Sky People, before she pushed it swiftly away again._

_It was a moment before she looked to him, an eyebrow raised and an expression that told him he needed to repeat himself._

_"Commander, Clarke is in the south cell."_

_The intensity of her gaze made him look past her. Just to the right of her head and over her shoulder. The Commander was resting her chin in the palm of her hand and her eyes instantly widened, her breath getting caught and for the first time she thanked whoever was listening that Gustus wasn't alive to bring her this news instead, because he would have seen it. He would have immediately known. Dax was Gustus' second and didn't know such things about her. He would never know._

_There was a stab in her chest the instant Lexa heard Clarke's name but it was quickly gone. Or at least diluted. Her resolve duly pulled back into place as she let the emotion wash over her. Her regal, commanding air modelling her un-phased expression._

_She let a solitary thought brush over what a first meeting this would be. Of what she would like to say. Of how she would like to be but none of that mattered. She had seen many variations of it in her dreams but they never stayed with her once she woke. She just placed them all away with the rest of what she associated with Clarke and buried it as deep as she possibly could, just like on the night of the mountain._

_She regarded Dax evenly then, her arms placed on either armrest. Her back now straight against her throne. Her jaw squared and her voice monotone. "In what condition?" was all she asked. She assumed Indra was with her, and therefore knew what would happen if she was deemed a threat._

_"Alive," Dax responded, after a moment._

_Lexa wanted to press him but knew that she couldn't. She exhaled slowly. "Will she live?"_

_"She is underfed but she will survive."_

_The relief flooded through her but she didn't move an inch, her expression unchanging and her tone without inflection. She told herself she didn't care. And more importantly she couldn't care. At least Clarke would live, she certainly would within her borders at least for the moment and that had to be enough._

_Lexa nodded. "Is Indra with her?"_

_Dax paused for a moment. "Yes, Commander. These are her possessions," he continued, holding out Clarke's bag. "She brought a gun within our grounds."_

_That changed things. Her gaze intensified, just slightly. "Was she a threat?" At first Lexa thought Clarke had just wandered into her camp, her guards putting her in the cells as a precaution but clearly, that was wishful thinking._

_Her guards wouldn't do that anyway. They would've brought Clarke directly to her._

_"Yes, Commander."_

_Very wishful thinking, and Lexa chastised herself for being so weak of mind._

_"She pointed the weapon at me and advanced." Dax felt uneasy but he remained where he stood. He admired the Commander greatly, was proud to now be called one of her generals and he was determined to live up to everything Gustus was._

_He knew Lexa didn't trust him completely yet, only with his position and what that meant, nothing more. Not yet. He swallowed as he stood up that little bit straighter, not being able to see past the Commander's authoritative persona. He didn't know if his words were the right ones, even if they were the truth._

_Lexa stood, then, and levelled her chin as she walked to the table at the side of her tent. She poured herself some water slowly, knowing that she couldn't call a stop to what Indra would be instructing. She couldn't treat Clarke as a non-combatant if she acted in a threatening way toward her people. She knew Dax wouldn't lie to her, Gustus trusted him implicitly therefore so did she. It wasn't good for Clarke, though._

_Dax lowered his voice and if she wasn't mistaken, Lexa was certain she heard compassion there. "I do not think it was her intention to use it."_

_Lexa turned and looked at him, her curiosity piquing and for a moment she could see Gustus in him. Not the Gustus everyone knew, not the powerful and relentless warrior as was his reputation but the Gustus who held her after Costia's death. The one who reassured her when Lexa felt there was no love left. At least not for her._

_She swallowed and it was the only indication that she felt moved. She quirked her head to indicate she wanted him to elaborate._

_Dax wavered, momentarily. "She is different, Commander."_

_She had to school her voice. "Different how?"_

_Dax had no idea how to phrase it. The grounders were people of few words and even less sentiment. They liked to speak with actions. He took a long breath before he spoke. "She is not like before," he struggled. "She is empty."_

_It was strange but Lexa knew immediately this was why Gustus liked him. Or perhaps this was the way Gustus moulded him, she couldn't be sure but she was thankful for his words either way. Usually her warriors didn't care about reasoning, all that mattered were the facts. She pulled her eyes from him and turned back to her table in contemplation._

_"I know it won't matter, Commander," Dax carried on. "But she is not here for revenge."_

_If only Lexa could afford such luxuries. She sipped from her cup and then stared into it. "You're right," she said quietly. "It will not matter."_

_That was when Indra strode into the tent, her hand clasped tightly around her sword and a look on her face that could cut through stone and she hadn't stopped talking since._

_The scenarios continued to tumble out of her as was her way. She was protective, proud, and she certainly held a grudge._

_Lexa though, had already made up her mind and when she spoke, it was even and firm. Almost nondescript. "She is not a warrior from a rival clan," she announced. "We will not treat her as such."_

_There was silence, for a moment, while she supposed her two general's acknowledged her words. It was the most Lexa had ventured since Indra's appearance._

_"Commander," Indra spoke up. "That is exactly what she is," the forcefulness in her tone apparent. Her desire to be heard the loudest thing in the room._

_Lexa spun and met the gaze of her generals, her eyes emotionless. Her expression impassive. "She is the leader of the Sky People and demands respect."_

_"She carried a gun into our camp," and then Indra gestured toward Dax and stepped forward. "She is a threat."_

_Lexa regarded her. "Her intentions are unknown," she said evenly. "Until we know what they are we will be lenient. She is still the leader of the Sky People, and we will not make an already tenuous situation worse. They are still on our land-"_

_"-Something we must also address." Indra interrupted. "They should not remain now the alliance is broken."_

_Lexa sighed, her patience waning. She took a purposeful stride toward Indra who then lowered her chin, an obvious display of obedience. "Now Clarke is in our possession we can discover their intentions."_

_"She won't speak, Commander," Dax told her, remaining very much at the back of the conversation as he knew his place. Indra was the most respected warrior in the clan next to the Commander and he would never speak over her. He was recently given the title of general, but Indra was very much his superior._

_"Yes," Indra agreed. "She refuses to speak her intentions."_

_"She will," Lexa said as she narrowed her eyes. "Continue the punishment until she can no longer stand. Her actions will not go unanswered." She didn't waver. "No food. No water. No restful period."_

_Indra nodded, pleased. This method often yielded better results than general thrashings and beatings. It wasn't as fun for her warriors though, and it was only those with the strongest of minds that survived it. The Commander was coming down hard on the Skygirl and Indra regretted thinking Lexa may wish to be more lenient as she walked to her tent. She wouldn't think so again._

_Lexa turned once more to the back of her tent. "I will question her tomorrow, after dusk."_

_"Yes, Commander," the generals said together._

 

_Dax turned and left however Indra remained. She took a tentative step toward her leader, something playing on her mind._

_"Commander," Indra started._

_Lexa knew she was still there, even before she spoke. The footsteps leaving belonging only to Dax. She moved her head to the side to indicate she heard her. "Yes?"_

_Indra found it difficult to hide her distaste for the Skygirl. For the Sky People in general. Having Clarke here had many advantages, and not a single one of them was lost of the general. "This is an opportunity," she continued, and it made Lexa stiffen._

_"I know," she responded, a slight gravel to her tone._

_Indra carried on as if she hadn't heard it. "As long as she remains with us the Sky People will do what we demand."_

_Lexa closed her eyes momentarily. "I know, Indra." She turned to her. "You do not need to tell me what I already know."_

_Lexa felt the conflict; between what she needed to do and what she wanted to do. It was always there when she dealt with the Ice Nation, never more so than on the day she brought them into the alliance. It was there when she drove her sword through Gustus' heart and again when she turned away from Clarke at the mountain._

_Indra considered her words. "We may have to use her life as a weapon."_

_Lexa was aware of this too and she grew angry of her general putting these thoughts into words. She expelled her breath loudly, pushing her emotions out with it. "I will do what I must," she said solidly. "The strategic advantage Clarke has handed us is fortunate and if it benefits us," and her look was like iron, "I will use it."_

_Lexa held Indra's gaze until the general took a step back and broke eye contact, evidence enough to Lexa that her point was made. She turned her back once more and went over to her water canteen, picking up her drink and once more sipping from it._

_"For now Clarke is not harmed unnecessarily," Lexa continued. "I am to be informed immediately if her health deteriorates below an acceptable level." She was silent for a moment. "It will not do for our bargaining chip to die before we've had a chance to use it."_

_Indra twitched her brow, reminded once more why Lexa was an excellent leader. The best she had served under. "Yes, Commander."_

_Lexa stared at the back of her tent, her eyes wide however they took in nothing. All she could see was Clarke, chained up and broken. She imagined her appearance to be muddy and dishevelled, her eyes a pale blue. Her body and mind as weak as each other and Lexa being helpless to stop it. Her position not letting her help and as she thought it, she felt her blood turn cold._

_She heard her last sentence again in her mind and her fingers developed a vice like grip around her cup. This definitely wasn't going to be easy and for her sanity she had to make it easier for herself. She turned to Indra. "You have seen her. Is she a threat?"_

_Indra stood firm. Her eyes dark. "She has no other reason to be here, and why else would she bring a gun?"_

_Lexa breathed in and nodded. Regardless of Indra's words she couldn't believe Clarke was there to kill her until she heard it from her lips herself. She would have to see pure hatred in those blue eyes staring back at her before she would even contemplate it and she was certain though, that wasn't what she would find when she looked there._

_To be Commander though, meant she was required to be cautious and she remembered the last thing Gustus told her; to remain strong._

_"We should be cautious, Commander." Indra continued. "The Sky People are unpredictable," and she couldn't hide her hatred any longer. "This girl killed our people," she said through clenched teeth. "She should pay."_

_Lexa wouldn't be swayed. No matter the reasons her general had for her words. "You have your orders," she said flatly. "Report any progress back to me."_

_"Yes, Commander," Indra nodded, after a moment and then she turned and left the tent._

 

**

 

Clarke wasn't sure how long it went on for. It honestly felt like weeks on end, her knees now surely down to the bone. She was starving, thirsty beyond belief but there was absolutely nothing like her craving for sleep. It pulled at her every part. Screamed at her from her quietest depths and consumed her barely functioning mind.

 

Her head felt like it rocked violently on her shoulders and she couldn't feel her feet. The chains hanging from her wrists didn't even hold her up. Perhaps if they did that would provide her with some sort of relief, then she could hang from them but no. She was free to walk a foot or so in any direction although she was meant to stay still. Her guards would push her back to the centre spot, each time she stumbled. Absolutely everything felt numb and she was certain she was delirious. She'd had countless conversations with her mother in her mind, even more with the faces of the people she'd killed and more besides with those whose faces she couldn't see. Those were the worst. She watched them all play out in front of her. Dance behind her eyelids when she tried to shut them out.

 

On a few occasions the guard to her right would leave the cell after muttering some words in Trigedasleng. She would hear him reach the top of the steps beyond the cell then the guard to her left would thrust a waterskin at her side. The first time he did it Clarke jumped a mile and had no idea whether or not the liquid would be poisoned but honestly, she just didn't care.

 

That first time the guard looked right at her, Clarke loosely finding his gaze after she looked up from waterskin pressing against her ribs, amazed and utterly confused. He pitied her, maybe? Maybe she was imagining it. Her vision was hazy and she didn't think she was hearing right.

 

He pushed again at her ribs, even more forceful this time. "Drink," he announced, his voice a hiss as he nudged her, demanding this of her.

All at once Clarke's hands clumsily found his and he lifted the waterskin to her lips as she did, drinking from the top greedily but it was over far too quickly as he soon snatched it away from her.

 

Clarke licked at her lips and moaned throatily as she felt relief from the fluid as it coated her throat, moistened her lips and soaked through her dried out system. It felt heavenly.

 

"Eat," he then instructed, in much the same manner. The back of his hand tapping against Clarke's stomach as he held out something that when she tasted it, was very similar to bread. Clarke didn't care though what it was, she gobbled it down all the same.

 

Each time this happened he fed her with the same starchy substance. Quenched her thirst with a few hurried mouthfuls of water. He would tell her to hurry when he felt she was taking too long. When she wasn't chugging down the water as fast as she could. It was only the first time he looked at her though, each time after he would simply stare ahead.

 

Clarke had no idea why he would do this for her, but nevertheless she was thankful for it. That time he looked at her she thought his eyes seemed compassionate though his voice was like ice. His eyes looked like he cared even though he surely knew he'd be punished if he was caught. Regardless he continued and she hoped maybe one day she could thank him.

 

Eventually though, despite the food and water everything went black and Clarke didn't even feel the ground when she fell. Didn't feel it as her head hit solid stone and her mind slipped away, her eyes rolling back in her head.

 

**

 

She was in and out of consciousness for a while. There were hands against her skin, fingers around her limbs as she was lifted, carried, laid down on something soft. Nothing stuck. She saw light and darkness. Faces she didn't recognise. Voices, shouts and arguments. Nothing tender. Never anything comforting. The abrupt smell of that God awful wake up dust from before bringing her round a few times but it didn't last for long, the taste of water on her lips before she passed out again.

 

The next time she tasted water it had something in it. Something herby, almost nutritious and then there was food. Someone attending to her knees and they hurt like hell. The attention jolted her awake many times and Clarke was sure it was another form of torture altogether. She had other wounds too. Around her wrists, against her ribs. A sizable bandage that covered the side of her head and stretched over her ear. Each time when she reached up to touch it someone would swipe her hand away to the point where Clarke just gave up trying. All she knew when she was able to reason again properly was that she was lucky, or unlucky perhaps, if the head wound was so big and she was conscious with as much as the grounders knew about medicine.

 

Her new cell was smaller, and light seeped in from the walkway at the far end. She was on a raised platform that was covered in furs and had a single attendant who tended her. Clarke recognised her now; she was young. Perhaps a year or so younger than Clarke and she had long dark hair that was tied back in a single braid. She kept Clarke's wounds clean and changed her bandages regularly. A few times she tried to clean the rest of her, approaching Clarke with a wet cloth and attempting to pull at her clothes. Each time Clarke rebuffed her the girl would mutter a few words in Trigedasleng, point to Clarke's body and then eventually shrug, returning to her usual position in the corner. She barely left the room and if she knew English, she was keeping the pretence up for much longer than necessary.

 

Clarke did realise though that she was actually much cleaner than when she entered the grounder camp. Her hair was clean, as well as her fingernails though her clothes remained filthy and it made Clarke wonder why they didn't attempt it whilst she was unconscious if they were so bothered. Although she was glad they didn't.

 

Clarke attempted to move but there was an instant throbbing at the side of her head when she tried to rise. The pain shot down her side and the room started to spin, the light suddenly blinding her so she had to squeeze her eyes shut. Her face contorted from the sheer force of it and it felt like someone was digging pins into her eyelids. She groaned in pain and then quickly lay back down, her hand coming up to feel the bandage at the side of her head. Clarke winced and tried to breathe it out, a headache immediately engulfing her and then she felt woozy. A million spots dancing in the darkness. It only took a few moments of such blinding pain until unconsciousness swept her up again.

 

**

 

The voices floated over to her, distant at first but then closer as Clarke roused from sleep.

 

She stretched a little, feeling as if she had slept for a month. Her arms were heavy, her neck a little stiff and her body slightly numb. But she felt better. Much better than before.

 

She could tell the voices were outside the room as they echoed in from beyond the archway. They were loud or, at least one voice was loud. It was clear. Distinct. Very much Lexa so Clarke froze, straining to make sense of the words. There was only one or two she could recognise. 'Branwada,' being used a couple of times. 'Healed,' maybe? 'When', for sure and then a question, as the second voice starting speaking obviously giving a breakdown of Clarke's injuries. She made out, 'legs', 'ribs', and 'head', pretty clearly.

 

Then followed some very prompt apologising as Lexa started speaking again, a man's voice suddenly entering the conversation and Clarke decided to give up. The concentration was making her head hurt. She rubbed at her eyes and wished she'd taken more time during their alliance to learn some useful phrases in Trigedasleng. Maybe she could now, if they weren't going to kill her, of course.

 

She relaxed back on the furs and sighed, wondering what round two torture would bring. Clearly she was being treated as an enemy. Well, at least she was before she had woken up on a bed of furs. She didn't know what else she expected, though. She had pointed a gun at one of the Trikru after all, and refused to lower it. She had been desperate to find some form of punishment. Desperate to find... _something_. Although God knew what it was.

 

She remembered what Indra said to her when she was first chained up in the cell. What she needed to account for, for her crimes against the Trikru let alone her crimes inside the mountain. She was raised on the Ark after all, where the slightest infringement got you floated yet the things she had done on the ground no one wanted to punish her for. She couldn't reason that. Sure they were necessary, but then so was what her dad did. That was necessary for the good of their people but it still got him floated. And it got her imprisoned.

 

She knew the grounders would inflict punishment. She knew what she was doing when she walked towards their camp. She wanted this, and she wanted to direct her anger at someone. Someone who would take it, and she knew that someone was Lexa. Even if her actions got her killed.

 

Suddenly Clarke noticed the silence and it was even louder than the voices. She raised herself up on her elbows and looked toward the archway. Then came the footsteps.

 

Her attendant then appeared and came over to her, placing yet another bucket of water at her bedside and dropping a clean cloth into it. Clarke rolled her eyes. A never ending battle, she thought.

Clarke so wished she could communicate with her.

 

The girl dropped a small rolled up package onto Clarke's furs and then pointed at it. "Choj op."

 

Clarke looked down at the package and after a moment's consideration she turned on her side, unrolling the package to find several slices of dried meat which she eyed and then reluctantly brought up to her nose to smell.

The girl chuckled and then walked toward the corner of the room. "Ai nou na frag yu op skaigada," she said quietly.

 

Clarke frowned at her. She recognised 'kill you,' and 'sky girl,' from that, but that was about it. Her head started hurting again as her heart beat a little faster. "Kill?" she asked with a raised brow. Surely Lexa would give her death more spectacle than being poisoned in a cell with only one girl to witness it.

 

The girl turned, a look of confusion on her face. The same one she had whenever Clarke tried to talk to her.

"Frag yu op?" Clarke clarified.

 

The girl quickly shook her head. "No, no," she hurried with a wave of her hand, a smile across her face. She lowered her voice dramatically as she stepped back over to Clarke's bed. "Heda-de don tel ai op ste nou yu taim ge wan op."

 

Clarke just stared at her blankly. This was a bit ridiculous. "Heda?" she asked, though. _Heda what?_

 

The girl just smiled and it seemed genuine enough so Clarke sighed. Her stomach rumbling so she quickly started chewing on the meat, her eyes dropping closed as it tasted like a slice right out of heaven. In that moment she honestly didn't care if it killed her.

 

Her momentary bliss was interrupted when the girl reached into the bucket and retrieved the now soaked cloth. "Wada klin," she said, with a tilt of her head.

 

Clarke shook her head, a mouth still very full of meat. "No," she mumbled.

The girl threw Clarke a displeased look. "Yu gaf ge bilaik klin in."

 

Clarke promptly swallowed her food. "No!" she repeated, bringing her palm up to stall the girl from coming any closer. There was no way she was going to let this girl strip her and clean her.

 

The girl sighed and dropped the cloth back into the bucket, murmuring something under her breath as she carried it over to the far wall.

 

Clarke felt a little easier but she was annoyed by the language barrier. She had no patience for it. "Look," she started, "If you know what I'm saying just give it up already, okay?" She popped another piece of meat into her mouth and rolled her eyes as she bit down hard on it. "It's getting old."

 

The girl turned back to face her with a massive frown on her face. Either she was a good actor, or this whole thing was annoying her too.

 

"What's your name?" Clarke asked.

 

The girl shook her head.

 

"Your name?" Clarke repeated a little more forcefully, then shook her head at herself for thinking that would work. She pointed at herself. "I'm Clarke," she said slowly, and then pointed at her companion. "You?"

 

The girls face relaxed in understanding. "Ai laik Klessa."

 

"Klessa," Clarke smiled, and Klessa smiled in return. _Fucking finally._

 

Suddenly footsteps could be heard coming in their direction and both Clarke and Klessa turned toward the entrance to the cell.

 

The Commander strode in, eyes wide and expression passive just how Clarke remembered her. She was in full battle dress however her face was void of war paint. Her sword was missing, too, however her dagger was at her hip.

Klessa took a timid step backwards and lowered her gaze in respect. Lexa kept her eyes fixed on Clarke for a few moments and then she dropped them to Klessa, noting the unused bucket and cloth by the wall.

 

"Ha em bilaik?" Lexa asked. It wasn't the first time she had visited Clarke but she was curious nonetheless to know how she was doing, just in case there were any further developments.

 

"Kwelen ba em na fis op, heda."

 

Lexa ran her eyes over Clarke's clothes. "Em nou klin."

 

Clarke rolled her eyes, she was beginning to understand that word. Of course this would be the first thing Lexa was concerned with.

 

"Em na nou."

 

Lexa nodded. "Gon we."

 

"Sha heda."

 

Klessa hastily made her exit from the room.

 

Lexa narrowed her eyes and turned to face Clarke. "You are stubborn," she stated simply.

 

Clarke could guess what that conversation was about. "Stubborn because I don't want to be cleaned by a stranger?"

 

"Surely being clean is preferable to laying around in filth, Clarke."

 

Clarke's eyebrows shot up and she threw Lexa an astounded look. "I wouldn't call it filth."

 

Lexa half raised a brow. "You believe your clothes are clean?"

 

Clarke thought about arguing but she caught herself. The absurdity of this, their first discussion alone since Lexa left her to die. "Is it standard practice to torture your prisoners then argue with them about getting their clothes washed?"

 

Lexa's expression remained stoic. "If you do not wish to be more comfortable that is your choice."

 

Clarke sucked in a breath. "Comfortable? You tortured me for days now you're worried about my comfort?"

 

Lexa squared her jaw. "Did you not come here to be tortured?"

 

That got her. Completely and utterly. Clarke froze, her eyes widening a little.

 

Lexa waited and raised her brow a little when no answer was forthcoming. "You know enough of our culture, Clarke. You knew what your reception would be."

 

Clarke just looked away, her forehead furrowing deeply.

 

Lexa exhaled. "And we are back to silence."

 

Clarke snorted quietly and brought her free hand up to rub at her eye.

 

Lexa took the opportunity to run her eyes over Clarke's body. Her torn boots, her bandaged knees. Her clothes that were indeed dirty, the result of many weeks being spent alone in the forest, she assumed. The red marks around her wrists and the bandage around her head. She sighed, softly, and gentled her voice. "Why are you here, Clarke?"

 

Clarke swallowed and frowned even heavier at the Commander's softened tone. She couldn't say that she didn't know. Couldn't say that she craved something but couldn't put a name to it. Didn't want to say that she wanted Lexa's help as much as she wanted to kill her. For what happened on the mountain. Seeing her again was hard enough, after everything, and the way she spoke to her just reminded Clarke of the two different people Lexa was. The one who kissed her and the one who betrayed her.

 

It was too hard, so she focused on the corner of her cell and just stared at it, taking in long, hard breaths as she tried to clear her troubled mind.

 

Lexa turned her head to the side, wanting to bring her palms to her face so she could breathe into them. Rub her fingertips into her forehead but she wouldn't. She was far too schooled in controlling her body language so she didn't give anything away. She wouldn't show Clarke how she affected her. That would be unwise should the Sky People resist joining the alliance and become a threat.

 

Instead she just licked her lips and took a seat at the far end of Clarke's bed. Clarke wouldn't open up to her if she was domineering. That she knew. She brought her right knee up so the sole of her foot was resting on the edge of the makeshift bed. The side of her right palm resting upon it. She turned her head to Clarke but kept her eyes on the ground in front of them.

 

She kept her tone even. "Are you rested?"

 

Clarke sighed. The throbbing coming back in her temple. The dull ache down the side of her head. She felt the heaviness everywhere. She pulled herself up into a sitting position and gasped a little as she stretched out her knees. She felt Lexa's eyes on her but she did her best to ignore them. She could remember how they looked at her when she was concerned and she didn't feel ready for that. At all.

 

Clarke leaned her head back against the stone wall and closed her eyes, her hands flopping to her sides. She felt defeated, just then. Alone. "All I do is see their faces. Every time I close my eyes. Every one of them."

 

Lexa's eyes remained on her, the bandaged side of Clarke's head now facing her and she could see some dried blood that was colouring it. It concerned her and she let it show, now there was no one there to observe her. She knew all too well what Clarke was feeling, but luckily at the time she had tutors. Mentors, who were even harder than she was to teach her how to deal with such things.

 

Clarke had no one. And even worse she came into it unprepared.

 

Lexa sucked in a breath and turned to stare into the nothingness in front of them. At the grey stone of the far wall. "The last time I slept well was with Costia. When she was in my bed." She swallowed, and her voice became distant. Hollow, almost. Her eyes half lidded as she let herself, if only for a moment, remember what that felt like. "She would hold me, and the burdens would go away."

 

Clarke turned to her, surprised once more by the softness Lexa could display, much the same as when they were at Finn's funeral pyre. She looked at her and she felt her body relax, almost comforted by the advice the Commander would surely share along with this admission. Even if it was something she wouldn't agree with. She needed it. She needed _something_.

 

At the same time Clarke was oddly off put by how quickly she felt drawn to Lexa. This dominating force sharing these personal things with her caused such a conflicting feeling. She was still the same person who abandoned her on the mountain yet in this moment, Clarke wanted to be close to her. Wanted all that Lexa would give her. Clarke ran her eyes over Lexa's body and took in every inch of her. She appeared so small in that moment, so quiet and understated. Everything Clarke knew her not to be.

 

Lexa raised her brow and pulled in a breath. "But I had fewer burdens then," she confessed, her tone still remarkably even. "I sometimes think it is not a leaders place to find peace. Not a good leader." She turned to Clarke and regarded her fondly, a sad smile pulling at her lips. "And you are a good leader, Clarke."

 

Clarke held her gaze for a few moments before she moved her head and looked away, a frown creasing her brow. She was right about Lexa's eyes. "I wish I wasn't," she sighed, despondent.

 

Lexa couldn't believe that at all, not of Clarke. "A good leader?"

 

Clarke sighed, again. "A leader at all."

 

Lexa raised her head in a small nod, knowing very well what that felt like. She often wished the same, in her weaker moments. Her lonelier ones. The ones she never spoke of. Then perhaps Costia wouldn't be dead, and perhaps they would still be together.

 

But Lexa knew these were pointless thoughts and energy was wasted considering them. She shook them from her mind and discarded them for what they were.

 

Weakness.

 

Lexa swallowed and her throat felt dry. Scratchy, even. She rubbed her palm against her knee. Her eyes becoming harder, her tone firmer. Not by much, but it helped her to remember why she was there. To get the truth out of Clarke. "We are what we are," she said, and it made both of them stop, for a moment.

 

Lexa looked at her, again. "What is it you wish to find, Clarke?"

 

Clarke smiled, but it was full of sadness. All she wanted was the thing she didn't think she would ever find. "Peace."

 

Lexa registered it. That was something they had in common. "For your people?"

 

Clarke made a noise that was sort of a laugh, but sort of not. She wanted peace for everyone. But now she was feeling selfish. "That too."

 

Lexa firmed up her expression. "You won't find it as you are, Clarke. You must try to put your demons at rest."

 

Clarke raised her brow. "I have no idea how to do that."

 

Lexa nodded and decided to get to the point. If Clarke wasn't there for revenge, then surely it was for this. "You wish for me to show you?"

 

Clarke closed her eyes and emptied her lungs. She decided to be honest. "I think you're the only person who could possibly know how I feel. As you've already felt it."

 

"I'm not the only person," Lexa responded quickly. Quietly. The Earth was full of leaders.

 

"The only one I know," Clarke said as she looked at her. _The only one who cares for me,_ she thought. _And who owes me._

 

Lexa offered her a tight smile. It was a moment before she spoke. "You assume I have slain all my demons. That they do not keep me awake and torment me at night."

 

Clarke's brow furrowed. If that was true, she certainly had a great handle on it. "But you deal with it?"

 

Lexa didn't feel fit to answer that question. She felt she needed someone to sooth her just as much as Clarke did, but that feeling again made her feel weak. She got to her feet and looked down at Clarke, into her searching, questioning eyes. Lexa raised her jaw line, levelled out her gaze. Set her shoulders. Wanting an answer to her questions. "Are you a threat to us, Clarke of the Sky People?"

 

Clarke took a moment before she looked away. Before she heaved out a breath and realised their conversation was always on borrowed time. She focused her eyes on the corner of the cell. The one behind Lexa and to the left, where the floor met the crease of the walls. She still didn't know the answer. Lexa was still Lexa, after all. A paradox.

 

"Are you a threat to me?"

 

A lot of things thundered through Clarke's mind, then. Was that whole conversation a ploy? Was Lexa using her? Was she trying to soften Clarke up for information? Was that her intention from the beginning? She was quickly frustrated and it made her angry. She cut her eyes at the Commander and wished she was anything but the perfect balance of softness and harshness.

 

Lexa just stared her down. "Are your people a threat to me?"

 

Clarke raised her jaw in an act of defiance and stared at her through narrowed eyes. "What do you think?" she whispered.

 

It was a stare out for a good few minutes. Leader against leader. Possible lover against possible lover. They both felt it, the air between them charged and fuelled by the intimacy of their conversation. Perhaps the only thing stopping them being Lexa's resolve and Clarke's hesitation. Nevertheless there was tension underneath their words and thunder in their eyes.

 

Lexa sighed, frustrated. Annoyed at the way Clarke constantly defied her, even now. A prisoner in her cells. She wished Clarke wouldn't test her. She really didn't want to be on the end of Lexa's wrath. "This is getting us nowhere, Clarke."

 

Lexa moved to inspect Clarke's head wound but Clarke flinched away. She thought if her knees were up to it she would probably be on her feet, taunting the Commander even more.

 

Lexa frowned at her regardless, retracting her hand from as far as she had got it. "That is a worrisome wound."

 

"Well that's what happens when you're starved and sleep deprived," Clarke cut back.

 

Lexa glared at her, infuriated. The way Clarke conducted her discourse annoyed her. She would often say things that were pointless and simply intended to provoke. Which time they did every time. "You are stubborn."

 

"You've said that."

 

"It is true."

 

Clarke was getting angry. "Well you're a liar."

 

Lexa turned and walked to the end of the room, swallowing the heat that was rising in her throat. Clarke always came back at her quickly as well, whereas Lexa needed to take her time and consider her words carefully. She refused to let emotions get the better of her, something Clarke would do well to learn to do, as well. She imagined it was something all Sky People lacked. "When did I lie?"

 

Clarke spat out a breath, incredulous. "When haven't you lied?"

 

Lexa remained calm and lowered her jaw, very certain over her next words. "When have I lied to you?"

 

Clarke met Lexa's gaze and her comebacks retreated from her. No, Lexa didn't lie to her. But she betrayed her, and she wasn't sure which was worse. She opened her mouth to speak but it was forced shut several times before she could voice what she wanted to say. She felt defeated once more. "I killed those people because I had to," she said quietly. "Because I was on my own and had no other choice. There was no army to back me up."

 

Lexa had learned of what happened inside the mountain. Her scouts told her about the bodies, how they were charred and burned beyond recognition. That there wasn't even one survivor amongst them all. "It was war, Clarke," she responded firmly. "Did you not burn my warriors while at war? The same number that perished within the mountain? Do you suffer as much for them?"

 

Clarke was emotional, the burden thick in her throat. Heavy behind her eyes. "I suffer for all of them."

 

"You make yourself suffer. You wish for punishment. To feel pain as you have caused pain. The marks on your knees, your head," Lexa pointed. "An attempt to dilute it. It is why you are here."

 

She was right, of course. Lexa was always right. But it didn't mean Clarke wanted to hear it, or deal with it. Not right then, anyway. She felt bitter. "I thought I was here to kill you."

 

Lexa stood firm, her body rigid. Her chin set and her eyes fixed on the blue eyes in front of her. They were washed out, and wanted to hate her. It was time for Lexa to do the provoking. She clenched her teeth and stepped closer. "Then do it."

 

Clarke almost laughed. Almost cackled before she realised Lexa was being serious. Deadly serious, even. Clarke had seen such intent in the Commanders eyes before and she saw it now tenfold. As if Lexa was daring her. Willing her, wanting Clarke to challenge her.

 

Without a movement of anything else Lexa reached to her hip and unsheathed her dagger, flipping it in her hand so the blade was in her palm. She held it out for Clarke to take without a word. Just the same unflinching, unrelenting, dangerous look in her eyes.

 

Clarke swallowed silently and dropped her attention to the dagger. She moistened her lips as the tension in the room tripled, rising to her feet more easily than she would have imagined. Sliding forwards off the furs with a hand on the edge of the bed to push herself up.

 

Lexa wanted this decided here. Now. That much was obvious and Clarke felt uneasy. Was she calling her bluff? There were no guards in the room and as weak as Clarke's body was there was no way a guard would get to her in time as soon as she took the dagger.

 

Clarke reached out and took it, holding it in front of her as Lexa retracted her hand and somehow, impossibly, stood taller. The authority and power emanating from her in waves.

 

The frown on Clarke's face disappeared, the reality of the situation dawning on her. "You don't think I'll do it," she stated slowly, quietly as she squared her shoulders and tried to grasp some authority herself.

 

Lexa took a small step closer. "I know you would," she whispered, her eyes flashing. "This is your chance."

 

It was all at once, all too much for Clarke. Far too much to process. The Commander, admitting that she knew the strength Clarke had, knew the determination of her mind and was willing to offer herself up if that was indeed Clarke's intention. Or at least she would let her try, in this tiny space. She stared at Lexa for a long moment, long enough to decide her course of action and then she flicked her eyes back to the dagger. It would be easy, she thought, to turn the blade into Lexa's stomach. To push it into the side of her neck. Clarke knew the places where it would kill her. Where it would wound her, given the amount of medical expertise the grounders had. She could do either. She could get her revenge.

 

Lexa took another step closer, further into the personal space of this unpredictable creature before her. Indra would go crazy, she knew. Gustus wouldn't have even let her in the cell unaccompanied and Anya would have slapped her silly at such a submissive display. Lexa however, thought she knew Clarke. No, she knew she knew Clarke and she was prepared to gamble on it.

 

On her feelings. She swallowed, hard.

 

Clarke slowly lowered the dagger, her head dropping forwards a little as the blade fell out of view.

 

"Why are you here?" Lexa hissed, her eyes looking down at Clarke. They searched the downcast expression of the Sky People's leader.

 

Clarke simply reached forward and sheathed the dagger back at Lexa's hip. Her hand lingering there for a moment before she pulled it away and when she spoke, her voice was tiny. Her shoulders slumping within the shadow the Commander cast over her. "I have nowhere else to be."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translations.**
> 
> Okay, I'm not pretending to be a Trigedasleng expert at all. I'm not even near it but I have read everything (I think) I can that's available. Thanks to AdrienI for the pointers and to Jay013 for the extensive tutorage and full translations :) both can be found on the reddit board.
> 
>  
> 
> **'Branwada'.**  
>  _'Fool', or, 'Worthless'. Generally a derogatory term._
> 
>  
> 
> **"Choj op."**  
>  _"Eat."_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Ai nou na frag yu op skaigada,"**  
>  _"I won't kill you, Sky Girl."_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Heda-de don tel ai op ste nou yu taim ge wan op."**  
>  _"The Commander told me it's not your time to die."_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Wada klin."**  
>  _Meaning 'to wash', or 'cleanse.' Which is the closest to what I wanted Klessa to say here._
> 
>  
> 
> **"Yu gaf ge bilaik klin in."**  
>  _"You need to be clean."_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Ha em bilaik?"**  
>  _"How is she?"_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Kwelen, ba em na fis op, heda."**  
>  _"Weak, but she will heal, Commander."_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Em nou klin."**  
>  _"She is not clean."_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Em na nou."**  
>  _"She will not."_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Gon we."**  
>  _"Leave."_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Sha heda."**  
>  _"Yes, Commander."_
> 
>  
> 
> Hit me up on [Twitter](http://twitter.com/talented_gemx/) or [Tumblr](http://talentedgemx.tumblr.com) for a chat :)


	3. thri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa talk some more and for a moment Lexa loses her cool. They have a moment while Clarke is bathing and Clarke begins to interact with some other Trikru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Resumes right where the last one left off.

Clarke took a step back and lowered herself to the bed. She felt a little deflated, a little exposed. She was suddenly weary. Tired or, more so at least since Lexa walked in. She couldn't look at the Commander, as helpless as she felt, as lost. She wondered if the leader of the coalition had ever felt like this; so tired and just so, so guilty.

 

Clarke settled back against the wall, her legs a little stretched out in front of her and her hands rested lightly in her lap. Her gaze fell to the side, angled toward the ground and she waited. Not sure what for. Absolutely no idea at all what she wanted. She licked her lips and they felt painfully dry.

 

Lexa swallowed and watched as Clarke moved away and rested back on the bed. She couldn't move her eyes from her and she examined her closely, as she always did. She had seen Clarke like this before. Lost and numb. Pained by her own actions. The look in those blue eyes cloudy, much like after the missile but now they weren't as angry. Now there was something like shame hiding there, definitely helplessness and Lexa didn't like to see those things in Clarke. This was the cost of war; something that Lexa knew all too well.

 

Lexa exhaled slowly and then resumed her earlier seat at the opposite end of Clarke's bed. A little bit closer though than last time. She knew how this would play out, or at least she had a good idea but just because Clarke said she wouldn't kill her now, didn't mean she wouldn't later. When she felt stronger, perhaps. When the guilt was replaced by anger. It didn't mean the Sky People wouldn't attempt it either, for that matter. Clarke had after all spent quite some time alone wandering the forest. How was she to know what her people were planning? There was enough trouble brewing within the clans without an impending war on her doorstep and Lexa simply couldn't afford to lose any more warriors. Not if what she feared came to fruition. The same thing she always feared.

 

Lexa focused her attention back on Clarke, dragging her eyes over her again inch by inch. Just to see if there were any injuries she had missed on her countless inspections since she was brought to this room. It was automatic, Lexa found, her desire to know of Clarke's wellbeing.

 

It was dangerous she knew, and destined not to end well. She knew she'd never be able to give Clarke what she needed, not that she looked at her the same anymore, of course. Not since the mountain but regardless, it didn't stop Lexa from checking and perhaps from even confessing things that she shouldn't.

 

She considered several things she wanted to say before changing her mind about all of them. She couldn't be weak and the more she offered Clarke now the harder it would be further down the line. All these things she was aware of but it didn't stop her from thinking. From pondering, but it was a pointless activity. Clarke was not the same person she kissed inside her tent just before the march upon the Mountain. Now she was something else altogether.

 

When Clarke spoke it was quiet, and Lexa wasn't sure if she had perhaps imagined it. There was sorrow in her tone. Defeat.

 

"It's not what I expected."

 

"What?" Lexa responded after she let a reasonable amount of time pass. The word was spoken a little too softly but it was too late to change her inflection.

 

If felt like an age before Clarke answered. "The ground."

 

Lexa hated seeing Clarke like this. So beaten and so unwilling to fight. For probably the thousandth time she cursed herself for what happened at the Mountain. That though she knew as well was pointless. The decision she would make again as much as she wished she wouldn't.

 

"What did you expect?"

 

Clarke sighed. Heavily. She rolled the back of her head against the wall slowly, so her eyes first took in the bucket still sat against the far wall and then they settled on Lexa. First on her boots and then on her patched and frayed pants. Across the various straps and up to her hand that lay loosely against her thigh. Over her wrist and along the material covering her forearm. Up the length of her shoulder and then to her jaw. The curve of her chin. Her lips. Her cheekbones and then to her eyes. Those deep and soulful eyes that spoke so many words that couldn't find their way past her lips.

 

"Not you," Clarke whispered softly, and it was a good few moments before she caught herself. A good few moments before she stopped searching for something in the Commanders eyes she knew she shouldn't want to find.

 

She didn't crave it, she told herself. No matter how vulnerable she felt right then. How much at Lexa's mercy. It didn't matter. These moments between them didn't count because Lexa created this. So Lexa pretty much owed them to her. These moments of wanting to bask in the Commander's comfort. Perhaps even drown in it.

 

Clarke pulled her eyes away and stared back out in front of her. She sighed as she shook her head and her chest actually hurt. "Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I'd experience anything like this."

 

It made Lexa pause, and her throat swallowed involuntarily.

 

Clarke's face scrunched up, disgusted. "The violence. The war," she gasped, slightly. "The atrocity."

 

Lexa's gaze flicked away momentarily and then she nodded in understanding.

 

"I mean I read about it. Earth's history, but this," she shook her head. "I never thought I'd be a part of it." She had to breathe past the tremor in her throat, inching its way up from her chest. "The emptiness now is unbearable."

 

All Lexa knew was war and bloodshed. She was trained for it, after all. Crafted into the leader she was now off the backs of others but it wasn't _all_ she was. Neither was it _all_ the ground was. This, in actual fact was the least bloodiest period she had ever known. "There is more to Earth, Clarke," Lexa started, "than what you have seen. I know nothing of your history books but there is more to life here, than death."

 

Clarke just raised a brow. She couldn't imagine it. "You sure about that?"

 

"Yes."

 

Clarke turned to her again, then. Her eyes wide and almost pleading. "Have you seen it?"

 

The corner of Lexa's lips quirked up, ever so slightly. "My people have. They've enjoyed peace and beauty more so recently than any of our ancestors."

 

Clarke looked a little surprised. "This has been peace for you?"

 

Lexa smiled again, albeit slight. "I hope you never see the bloodshed that I have."

 

Clarke swallowed and wasn't sure if the saddest thing was the statement itself or how genuine Lexa's eyes were as she spoke it. "How do you deal with it?" she asked, after a minute or so.

 

Lexa jutted out her jaw, a bit. "Death?"

 

"War."

 

"It is a part of who I am." The answer was quick, like there was no consideration behind it at all. Like Lexa didn't even have to think about it. There was silence for a few moments while Lexa let her mind wander and she thought back to one of her lessons, before she held the burden of Commander. Lexa sighed as she pictured her mentor. "Anya once told me that the reason some leaders go from battle to battle is so that there is no space in between." Her eyes glazed over, then. "No time for thought or reflection. Conscience. Only the next war."

 

Clarke swallowed bitterly. She didn't want that existence to be hers. She didn't think anyone could live like that, surely. Not anyone who still had a soul, at least. She focused on Lexa's profile. "Is that what you do?"

 

Lexa smiled, though it wasn't a happy one. "I have been Commander for a long time, Clarke." It definitely felt like it, anyway. "I have seen many battles," and then she recalled the battle before the Coalition was formed and her blood ran cold. It was ice in her veins and her voice turned shallow. "But never an unnecessary one. I would be happy if I never saw war again."

 

Clarke could almost see the shadows running in front of Lexa's eyes. The ghosts. Her sombre expression said it all. "How do you forgive yourself?" she whispered.

 

Lexa pulled in a deep breath and she held onto it, her eyes closing before she gently pushed it out. When her eyes opened her expression was more even. More controlled. "There is no forgiveness in war, Clarke. I am guilty of many things. My hands will never be clean of the blood I have spilt but I'm a leader". Her back straightened then, as her shoulders somehow became broader. "My people look to me for protection. For safety and that is what I provide."

 

"No matter the cost?"

 

Lexa turned to Clarke, then. Her voice becoming stronger and firmer. "It is my purpose. As is yours."

 

Clarke dropped her gaze to the furs between them. "I don't want it to be. I don't want to have to make those choices. Never again."

 

Lexa watched her, and her gaze flicked to Clarke's fingers as they played with the softness of the furs between them. She pulled at it with her thumb and forefinger and Lexa wished she could erase all of this for her. Wished she could shoulder it for her, for this Skygirl she really, hardly knew at all. But what she did know, foolishly, Lexa considered enough.

 

"You have experienced much, Clarke," she ventured softly. "And you have lead valiantly. You saved your people. You should be proud."

 

"I'm not," Clarke responded quickly. Her brow furrowed too, her eyes concentrating on her fingers busy within the furs. Her voice dropped to barely a whisper. "I wiped out a nation."

 

"To free your own kind," Lexa said firmly. "You cannot regret that."

 

Clarke's eyes once again met the Commander's. "So you have no regrets?"

 

"I didn't say that." Lexa had plenty, in fact. There were many things she regretted and some in particular replayed out in front of her as she gazed into Clarke's eyes, but as she learnt a long time ago dwelling on such things was a waste of energy. "Actions of the past cannot be changed," she sighed, trying to push the images from her mind. Trying not to remember the pain she'd caused the girl in front of her. "Your mind will settle, Clarke."

 

Clarke's eyes flicked between Lexa's, left to right. Back and forth. Searching for something she wasn't sure of. She felt drained and so very vulnerable in that moment, sitting there beside a killer but then, Clarke was a killer too. She knew she was, at that moment, sat alongside her captor as her prisoner. With the woman who betrayed her, whom on a better day she would hate but instead, Clarke needed something from her. Something that would just make all the pain go away.

 

"When?" Clarke asked, and she felt herself on the brink of crumbling and what's worse, Lexa was there to see it.

 

Painfully Lexa pulled her eyes from Clarke and sat forwards on the bed. She breathed out heavily and tried to settle her racing mind. "I wish I could provide you with peace," she started, slowly and quietly after what seemed like an age of silence. "If only for a moment." The tension in the room was palpable, the small space not quite big enough for the amount left unsaid between them. It was uncomfortable, and Lexa knew it would only get worse. She swallowed and then found Clarke's gaze once more. She spoke earnestly, of what she knew to be true. "You will find they are your saviour, in times of despair. Small moments that will help you through the darkness."

 

Clarke found herself right back there. Captured by the Commander's words and held within the weight of her gaze. She honestly felt like no one had a chance, if they were the object of Lexa's affection. She was just so powerful, with so little effort. Clarke felt her heart rate increase, a warmth take root in her chest and she was certain Lexa would kiss her. It was just like before, more or less. Lexa's eyes. Her demeanour. The tone of her voice. Clarke both wanted it and didn't in equal measure. No, she didn't want it at all. She _needed_ it. Comfort. Passion... something, and Clarke despised herself for craving so badly the person who betrayed her. Not only her but her people too.

 

All Clarke could think of though, was the softness of Lexa's lips. How they felt kissing her and how it ended all too soon. How much Clarke wished she'd have let Lexa kiss her for longer. Touch her.. anything. Because that was _before_ the betrayal. No matter how much she didn't think she was ready then, at least there wasn't _that_. But now there was and it just felt wrong but right then, she didn't care an inch. Clarke remembered how gentle Lexa was as her eyes dropped to her lips, her own parting as she recalled how their movement felt. How comforting it was when they were within the midst of battle. How everything else just seemed to slip away into oblivion and all there was were _her_ lips. _Her_ fingers. The way _she_ tasted when her tongue brushed against her lips and God, how much Clarke utterly _needed_ it again.

 

She thought of the Commander's fingers brushing ever so softly against her jaw and slipping around to the back of her neck, pushing into her skin and Clarke knew such a moment was exactly what Lexa was talking about right then.

 

She was right, as well, it did feel like salvation. If only for a second. One big, insane second as Clarke remembered moving her hand to Lexa's elbow and pulling her that fraction closer. Holding onto her because everything about that kiss felt so safe; so inviting. Just as Lexa's eyes had been. Imploring, too, and even endearing. Perhaps as well with a touch of that weakness Lexa said was so terrible and it was just the way she was looking at her now, but her eyes also sought something else.

 

 _Forgiveness_ , and it made Clarke stop, her throat clench and her chest gasp a little.

 

Just then Clarke knew herself to be weak. Weak enough to desire someone she shouldn't. Weak enough to want to close the distance, reach out and strangle the life out of the comfort she knew Lexa would provide. To make the Commander chase away her demons and keep her safe at night. She could see Lexa was willing in this moment, and perhaps in every moment.

 

But she couldn't.

 

She _wouldn't_.

 

Clarke's gaze found Lexa's, her mind physically backtracking and the moment was suddenly gone. She was here to strengthen herself mentally with the help of someone who owed her that much. That was it. That was all it would ever be.

 

Clarke forced out a breath. "If only it were that easy," she mumbled, her eyes dropping to the floor.

 

If Lexa felt the rebuff, she didn't show it. She just lifted her jaw a little as her eyes flicked down in silent acknowledgement.

 

"Heda!"

 

Lexa cleared her throat quietly as she got up from the bed. She felt it, of course she did but she was well practiced at hiding her pain. "Chit?" she shouted after a moment in the direction of the exit. It was a welcome distraction.

"Em hosa laik bakon kom Polis. Emo hod kos yu op."

 

Perhaps it was a good thing this conversation couldn't go much further. Lexa felt guilty for the Mountain, she was certain she would never stop but she'd never be sorry and it was clear Clarke couldn't take that, not right then. Maybe not ever, and she needed to learn what was going on in Polis.

 

Lexa sighed, loudly. "Ai na hit kom em op," she instructed sternly, her eyes fixing on Clarke. She just had to finish this, first. "Pas daun."

 

"Sha, Heda."

 

Quickly Lexa steeled herself. Her posture stiffening as if she was all of a sudden talking to someone else. "Nothing is ever easy, Clarke."

 

Clarke scoffed and continued to look out to the side as she shook her head.

 

Lexa was losing her patience, a little, and she needed to speak to her riders who had returned from Polis. "It will take time. You will not conquer your demons in one night." She could see Clarke's shoulders tensing at her words, the frown across her brow deepening so she marginally softened her tone. "You need patience."

 

"Patience?" Clarke blurted. "I walked the woods, endlessly-"

 

"-Which only fed your fears more." Lexa stepped closer. "Solitude is not the answer, Clarke."

 

"So what is?" Clarke asked as she looked at Lexa, her forehead still frowning. Her eyes heavy. She was honestly starting to think there was no answer. Just this permanent, lonely, damning, internal struggle. She sized Lexa up. "You?" she blurted with a heavy amount of distaste which she regretted as soon as it came out. She kept the same look on her face though, for some defiant reason.

 

Lexa peered into Clarke's eyes like she knew she was faking. Like she knew this was all one big show crafted so she wouldn't appear weak. Lexa tilted her head. "You want me to be."

 

Clarke had no idea if that was a question or a statement. The way Lexa was standing though, and the look in her eyes exuded a kind of cockiness. It made Clarke waver. "I..." she swallowed and then she blinked, quickly finding her bearings. Somehow. "...No," she said flatly.

 

Lexa just looked her over, breathing in deeply as she did. Clarke was glaring at her with a certain kind of defiance. It was waning though, as was the rest of her. She was obviously tired and very much losing track of why she thought she was there. She needed much more time, Lexa knew, and she also needed to sleep.

 

"I don't want anything from you," Clarke added wearily.

 

Lexa also knew that Clarke wouldn't get anywhere if she wouldn't let herself be helped. She smiled thinly and her tone was once again soft. "Then why do you prefer my company than that of your own people? Why do you not look to them for salvation?"

 

Clarke pushed her head back against the wall behind her, looking to the ceiling for a few moments. "I don't know," she whispered. She shook her head, again. "I thought you would..." she trailed off.

 

"What?" Lexa prompted, after a moment or two.

 

Clarke though remained silent and she let her eyes drift shut.

 

Lexa inhaled as she looked around the cell. The bed was as comfortable as she could make it but she raised a brow at the rest of it. Clarke needed better surroundings. "Understand?"

 

Clarke just sighed in response.

 

Lexa turned and took a couple of steps to the side, her mind working as it should, as the Commander of her people. The longer she could keep Clarke in her camp the more advantageous that would become. That's what she told herself, anyway. "If you want help, Clarke. You must be receptive to it."

 

Clarke carried on being silent, feeling exhausted.

 

"You cannot keep fighting me."

 

This time her answer was quick. "I can't promise that."

 

The answer didn't surprise her but the determination in her tone did. Lexa inhaled. "You're still angry with me."

 

Clarke scoffed, at that. "Yes."

 

Lexa licked her lips and softened her tone. "The decisions we make in battle, Clarke, are not-"

 

Clarke's eyes flicked open. "-Don't say personal."

 

Lexa stopped. "Are not always the ones we wish to make."

 

Clarke forced out a breath of air. "So you regret it?"

 

Lexa levelled out her chin. How quickly they were here was a surprise. "No," she replied swiftly. She swallowed. "I cannot regret the decision of saving my people-"

 

The furrow was set deep in Clarke's brow and her eyes stung. The breath catching in her throat. "-And leaving me to die?"

 

Lexa almost looked ashamed, for a moment. She looked like she wanted to say a thousand things however she immediately closed it off. It wasn't the time for this conversation. Clarke was forcing it because she was bitter so instead she said nothing.

 

"You kissed me, Lexa."

 

She knew it was coming and for a moment, Lexa closed her eyes, remembering. "I know," she whispered.

 

Clarke was upset. It built inside her and now it was a ten tonne weight pressing down on her chest. Pushing behind her eyes. She felt it everywhere; a certain numbness. Crushing her now as it crushed her then. "You kissed me, and then you left me." She wasn't bothered about the way her voice wobbled. The way all of her trembled because none of that mattered. "I can't forgive that."

 

Lexa let the moments pass as she took in Clarke's words. The last bit harder than the rest. She stood up straighter, her shoulders feeling remarkably heavy and a lump forming at the bottom of her throat. "You are tired," she stated, matter-of-factly. "Perhaps it is best you rest."

 

Clarke turned away, definitely having had enough.

 

"Goodnight, Clarke," Lexa said quietly before she pulled her eyes away and headed to the end of the cell. Before she left however she turned, her hand finding out the corner of the wall in front of her. Her fingers digging into the stone as she glanced at Clarke over her shoulder. "You must separate the two."

 

Clarke dragged her tired, glossy eyes back to the Commander, a little raw around the edges as she was. She looked so much older than before the mountain.

 

Lexa held her gaze. "One was my head," she said quietly. "The other my heart."

 

Clarke pulled in a shaky breath. She was all over the place, she knew she was. She could feel it and she hated it but she was sure enough to know she couldn't let Lexa off the hook. Not while she felt like this. Every inch of her was telling her she didn't want to be alone, that she didn't want Lexa to leave which was exactly why she knew she should push her away. "Well I guess we know which one wins."

 

Lexa's eyes twitched in response and it was the only thing that gave her away. She nodded, as it was the only thing she could do. The statement was true after all, and there was nothing else left to say. She just turned and walked away.

 

**

 

Lexa left the cell and strode out into the forest. She took a few steps and stopped, her fists opening and closing over and over at her sides. Her chest was tight, her breath coming in sharp, shallow gasps and she worked hard to calm it. To settle what she was feeling. It was nearly dark and the breeze that swept around her was picking up speed. It felt cool against her skin and it was welcome, her blood uncomfortably warm as it powered through her veins.

 

She closed her eyes momentarily, her teeth absently chewing on her lip. She had envisaged these conversations with Clarke many times, although even those she usually dismissed. She swallowed and it scraped along the inside of her dry throat.

 

It was always going to be hard, that she knew but this was probably the last scenario she ever expected to come true. She honestly thought it would be easier if Clarke _was_ there to kill her. If she at least attempted it. All this was, was a lost Clarke hidden in her cells. A hopeless one. One that was left broken when Lexa walked away from her and even more broken after that.

 

It was only going to get harder, too.

 

Lexa knew she probably shouldn't have kissed her, all that time ago. But Clarke made her _feel_ things. Things she hadn't felt in such a long time and what's worse, Lexa wanted them. She wanted _her_ , and she wanted her still.

 

"Commander."

 

Lexa opened her eyes and exhaled a breath, waiting for a few moments as she pushed it out and when she turned around she was once more the picture of calm. The Commander everyone knew and expected her to be.

 

"Dax," Lexa greeted her general as he hastily approached her. She specifically didn't look toward her cells and instead started walking in the direction he came from. "Walk with me."

 

"Yes, Commander," Dax responded, falling easily into her stride. "What of Clarke?" he asked as he looked sideways at her.

 

Lexa returned his gaze, her face still altogether expressionless. She didn't respond, however.

 

"Did she speak of her intentions?" he clarified, after a moment or so.

 

Lexa blinked by way of acknowledgement, her hands clasping together behind her back. "She seems unthreatening," she responded evenly.

 

"As we expected," Dax cut in.

 

Lexa eyed him. "For the moment."

 

Dax quickly looked to the ground, apologetic. Sometimes he was too eager to please, this Lexa was aware of. He let the silence settle between them. "We are to leave her in the cells?"

 

Lexa examined his profile. He made her miss Gustus, but only sometimes. Only when she let him. "I assume you have spoken with the riders from Polis?"

 

"Yes, Commander."

 

Lexa stopped and squared on him. He was taller than she was. Broader. Much larger as were all of her male warriors. They could still all shrink in her shadow, however. All grow queasy under her penetrating gaze. "What news did they bring?"

 

Dax was stood a foot or so away so not to invade the Commander's personal space. "The Capital grows weary for your arrival."

 

Lexa remained still for a second, her eyes dropping as she turned and finally started up a slow pace again. Dax followed silently at her side. "I have faith in Luna to preside until I get there." She said quietly, almost as if she didn't quite believe it herself.

 

Dax swallowed nervously and then he puffed out his chest. "It is not with Luna where the trouble lies."

 

Lexa turned her head but didn't make eye contact. She stared out into the woods, at the contrast of the trees as the wind moved them. The way the leaves ruffled and the colours mixed together. The forest was beautiful just after sunset, she had always thought so.

 

"I know," she answered firmly. Dax had travelled at Gustus' side for many years. He knew of the Coalition exactly what Gustus had known and he knew each member and their clans intricately. Gustus educated him well. "And what of our alliances?"

 

"As expected." There was no hesitation.

 

Lexa looked back out ahead. "Any absentees?"

 

"As we thought, Commander. Polis still awaits representation from the furthest clans."

 

Lexa nodded. Those were always the clans most difficult to meet with. With whose alliances were always weakest. The Ice Nation being the furthest, therefore the weakest. "There is still time," she started as she picked up her pace. "Did Jael speak with Luna?"

 

Jael was one of Lexa's most respected and fearless warriors. He could be trusted implicitly and often was. "Yes," Dax replied as he looked at her. "She will do as you ask."

 

"Good." Lexa wanted to know who within the Coalition was thinking of causing an uprising. Or really, more to the point who would support the Ice Nation should they cause one, as was always a potential reality. A constant threat that was year by year weighing more and more on Lexa's shoulders. When she arrived in Polis she was confident Luna would have the inside knowledge. She was good at that kind of thing, and of course Lexa trusted her like no other.

 

"Clarke will help us rebuild an alliance with the Sky People."

 

Dax's eyes widened. "Commander?"

 

Lexa held her shoulders back. "We cannot be strong in Polis if we are weak here, nor can we afford to lose more warriors in a war on our doorstep."

 

Dax held his tongue. They had just broken an alliance with the Sky People so he couldn't see them being quick to join another one. "We are to send word to Camp Jaha we have their leader?"

 

"No," Lexa replied quickly. "If they are preoccupied with finding Clarke then they are not preoccupied with us."

 

"And she will help us?" Dax asked. "The Sky People are willing?"

 

"Not yet," Lexa confessed. She stopped walking when her tent came into view and then she turned to Dax as her demeanour softened, although not by much. "It will take time," she began. "Clarke is in pain. She needs to heal."

 

Dax knew that. He saw it in her eyes when he captured her. "Jael was uncertain how long Polis can wait."

 

Lexa nodded. She was aware of that, too. She squared her chin. "Put two guards on Clarke; your best. She is to be let out of her cell."

 

"Yes, Commander."

 

"They are not to leave her side." She said as her hand raised slightly between them. What Clarke needed was integration. She needed people, and she needed to see life outside of war. "Put her in a tent close to the healer, and make sure the guards escort her to the river." _Push her in_ , she wanted to add, _if she still refuses to bathe_.

 

"Yes, Commander." He waited for a few moments before he spoke and he hesitated as Lexa started to walk away from him. "Will you take her to Polis?" He wanted to add that having Clarke there would be a great advantage. The clan leader who did what the rest of them combined couldn't for ninety-seven years. _Flosha kom Maun-de klin._ It would be good for them he knew, but not so much for Clarke. Not in her current state, anyway.

 

Lexa turned back to him and noted the apprehension ghosting across his face. She liked Dax; more and more with each passing day however he sometimes spoke out of turn. As if he was more familiar with her than what he was. "Know your place, general," she said as she stared him down. Her eyes unblinking and her spine rigid.

 

He immediately looked to the ground at her feet and absently took a step back. "I'm sorry, Commander. It's just-

 

"-Polis will wait," she interrupted sternly, and then she moved to turn away from him. "And make sure Clarke is safe."

 

Dax nodded as he watched her stride away toward her tent. "Yes, Commander."

 

**

 

Clarke didn't really like water. Or large bodies of it, anyway. She hadn't had great experiences with it since landing on the ground. She tentatively moved her hands in small circles at her sides, turning around slowly every now and again just to make sure a big, water snake-like creature wasn't about to eat her.

 

That wouldn't be fun.

 

Her guards had assured her though there was no such creature within these waters. It was a small lake, apparently, although Clarke couldn't see where it ended and those creatures didn't live in small lakes. Clarke raised an eyebrow and turned around once more, probably for the thousandth time. It looked pretty similar to the one Octavia almost got eaten in, to her.

 

Anyway she tried to relax. Her guards were near and she was certain one of them would jump to her rescue, seeing as her gun was now living in the Commanders tent. Clarke was weapon-less, aside from a small dagger but that was with her clothes on a rock just at the water's edge.

 

Clarke had argued with Dax as he walked her from her cell to her new tent within the community of TonDC. She was apprehensive about it, to be honest, as the people she passed on their walk eyed her just as apprehensively in return. Some looked at her like they feared her, others like she was something to be revered. In a few faces she saw hatred and a few didn't take any notice of her at all.

 

 

_"I need a weapon."_

_"You do not."_

_Clarke had only taken a few seconds to scan the interior of her latest home. It was better than the cell, of course. A bed piled with furs in the corner and a deep red curtain to separate it from the rest of the space. A closet, a table, two chairs. A bowl of fruit and a canteen of water set out on the table top._

_She spun quickly to pin Dax in her gaze. "The Commander must trust me, she's let me out of the cell."_

_Dax tried to tower over her as best he could but she just glared back at him with clear intent. At least there was still some of her in there, he supposed. "The Commander thinks you have seen enough punishment," he said flatly. "That does not mean you should be armed."_

_Clarke sighed, heavily. "Look," she said as she stepped closer to him. "There are people here that would kill me."_

_"There are people everywhere that would kill you, Skygirl. At least here you have guards." He eyed her, with more judgement than he intended. "You will not be harmed within our boundaries."_

_"Are you sure of that?"_

_Dax smiled faintly as he looked her over. Her head was still bandaged, as were her knees. The redness around her wrists was easing though, and her eyes seemed a little brighter although there were still plenty of shadows there. Still heavy circles that sat around them. Still a raggedness to her and a look of pure exhaustion. "The Commander has ordered it, and your guards will do their job well."_

_Clarke gritted her teeth as well as her expression. "Then why do I need guards if she has ordered it? Shouldn't that make me safe enough?"_

_Dax exhaled evenly, his chin way above Clarke's eye-line. He didn't answer and just stared at her with nothing more to say. She had a point, after all, but he knew his guards wouldn't fail their task._

_Clarke sighed. "Let me see the Commander."_

_"No."_

_It had been a full day since Lexa had left her cell the night before and Clarke had no idea when she would see her again, which was probably a good thing. Half the time Clarke had no idea why she was there, and the other half she spent knowing it was the best place for her to be. She wasn't sure about being out in the open like this though, the only thing between her and a rogue grounder killing her being those two massive, masked guards outside her tent._

_Dax turned to leave. "At least now you want to live," he smiled. "An improvement."_

_Clarke grabbed his arm. "Wait." He looked at her and this time she definitely saw compassion in his eyes. "Please," she swallowed. "I need to be able to defend myself. Everyone here has a weapon, even the kids outside."_

_Dax grinned, then. She was right; all of the Trikru had at least a dagger tethered to their hip. It was their first line of defence and each of them knew from a very young age if they used it out of turn, the Commander would punish them accordingly. No matter their age. No matter if it was the first time it was ever unsheathed._

_He raised his brow and pulled his arm from Clarke's grasp, stepping toward the table. He took the dagger from his hip and held it up. "In TonDC you live by our laws, your guards will tutor you should you need them to." He lowered his voice. "Be careful, the Commander will not go easy on you should you break them." He thought of Gustus for a second and it made his throat go dry. "There is little leniency in our culture. This you have seen." He placed the dagger on the table and then headed for the exit. It was no risk. He knew each of his people would be able to disarm her should she try to use it, even the children, but he was certain she would not._

_"Dax," she called to him._

_He turned as he held open the flap._

_"Mochof."_

_He dipped his head and then he left._

It was awkward, her first day in TonDC. She spent most of it in her tent hiding and the rest of it wanting to see Lexa. It drove her crazy and eventually she left, pausing as she looked up to the Commander's tent, large and imposing up on the hill in the distance. After a minute or so she pushed out a breath and headed for the woods.

 

Her guards were interesting, as Clarke found out when she got to the edge of the camp and had to find a tree stump to sit down on. Her knees were definitely not up to much walking she discovered but she was far too stubborn to accept that fact. Finally she sat down and only then she realised the two guards were following her. It was shocking, really, as she hadn't heard them at all, remembering back to Dax informing her they would accompany her everywhere.

 

She sighed as she rubbed gently at her knees, the one guard disappearing into the surrounding trees but the other one, the younger one came closer to her and then turned, standing to attention and looking out into the distance.

 

His name was Zeek, she learned. The other, older one Jael, but that was as much information she managed to get out of them.

 

Maybe all this hadn't been such a good idea after all.

 

That was two days ago and after much cajoling from the healer and about three passing comments from Zeek about the way she smelled, Clarke finally decided to visit the river. She definitely wasn't comfortable, this definitely wasn't relaxing however the water was strangely warm and if the idea of her two guards lurking somewhere was comforting for the snake killing situation, it certainly wasn't for her state of undress.

 

"You are a mystery, Clarke of the Sky People."

 

Clarke spun in the water so fast she almost lost balance, her arms straightening out at her sides to help steady herself. She was shoulder deep in the water and she was thankful for that as the Commander came into view, crouching atop one of the large rocks that enveloped the space Clarke was standing in. She still felt exposed though, even though the water hid her nakedness.

 

Lexa was examining her; that much was evident. Or at least the parts that were visible above the water. Clarke was sure Lexa's eyes tried to peer beneath the surface too, but Clarke was happy the distance between them couldn't allow for that.

 

Lexa tilted her head. "The things you have done for your people, yet you desert them."

 

Clarke carried on moving her hands in small circles out at her sides. Her balance really wasn't the best in the water and she didn't want to fall over or anything in front of the Commander. This was the first she had seen of her since their conversation in the cells. The conversation about their kiss amongst other things and she wondered if Lexa had waited for this moment, for her to be as vulnerable as this before choosing to speak with her again.

 

Clarke cleared her throat. "They're in good hands."

 

"You do not think your hands are most qualified?"

 

Clarke frowned a little, not sure where Lexa was going with this. "Not at the moment," she answered carefully.

 

Lexa was curious and still wary of Clarke. She had to be. She was still a leader of a potential enemy; what she could learn at TonDC could ultimately cause her people some damage. As Indra had been more than hasty to point out. "You intend to go back to them?"

 

So that was it. Clarke sighed and after a moment she shook her head. "I really don't know, Lexa."

 

Lexa softened then, and she looked out to the side as her eyes followed the line of the lake, all across the horizon and then eventually back to Clarke. "You will always be the leader of your people, Clarke." Lexa looked at her pointedly. "You are strong of body and of mind. You do yourself an injustice thinking otherwise."

 

Clarke really didn't feel any of those things. She didn't feel strong at all and it was an odd feeling that Lexa's compliments generated in her chest. Whatever the praise, she didn't feel worthy of it. She just plain didn't believe it and couldn't understand anyone thinking of her in that way.

 

Clarke glanced at the water and tried to swallow her awkwardness. She felt a chill all of a sudden, even though the water was still warm. She could see the Commander didn't trust her, not like she did before. Clarke could see it in her eyes and she was right to, really. Clarke felt like trust was very difficult to come by on the ground, between the different clans. She shook her head though as she pushed it out of her head. Politics really wasn't any of her concern, now.

 

"Is that how you see me?" Clarke asked, a part of her really wanting to know.

 

Lexa smiled. It was small but a smile nonetheless. She would never think any less of Clarke, that she was sure of and then she quirked a brow. "At the moment I see you in a lake."

 

It threw Clarke, a little. She had no idea Lexa knew how to be anything other than serious. She smiled, despite herself and then she cleared her throat. "Naked, in a lake."

 

Lexa retained eye contact for a few moments, the air between them changing and then her attention dropped for a second, to the water just in front of Clarke's chest. It took her longer than it should've for her to pull her eyes away, blinking them a little too quickly with the thoughts Clarke's words conjured up.

 

"I was unsure if you would... want to remain with us," Lexa said quickly, deftly changing the subject.

 

Clarke was certain she saw some heat rise in the Commander's cheeks. The statement made her frown, though. "You want me to leave?"

 

Lexa confidently managed to meet Clarke's gaze after a few moments of her fingers drawing slow, idle patterns in the rock in front of her. "You are welcome here, Clarke," she replied slowly. "For as long as you wish."

 

Clarke just nodded, not sure if she was happy about that or not.

 

"I wish to show you something," Lexa said as she stood abruptly, her coat sweeping around her ankles with the force of her motion.

 

Clarke had to crane her neck up in order to see her properly. "Uhm, now?"

 

Lexa looked down at her. "Yes."

 

Clarke just raised her eyebrows. There was no way she was leaving the water with the Commander standing there. Or anywhere near, for that matter.

 

Lexa stared at Clarke as if expecting her to just walk from the lake and when she didn't, Lexa quirked a brow at her. Clarke just raised her eyebrows even more and finally, Lexa stepped from the rocks to the edge of the water.

 

"You have new clothes," Lexa stated, gesturing to where Clarke had left her old ones.

 

"What?" Clarke waded in a little but made sure her shoulders stayed below the water by bending her knees as she walked.

 

"Your others are being cleaned. They will be returned to you."

 

Clarke was surprised and she shook her head slightly, not really knowing what to say. She hadn't seen anyone get her clothes which was odd seeing as they were right at the edge of the water. Sure enough, though, new ones were there as well as new boots.

 

"Thank you," Clarke said, for want of having anything else to say.

 

Lexa turned to her, her expression back to being stoic and rather blank. "I will have your guards bring you to the edge of camp when you are ready. I will meet you there."

 

She didn't wait for a response. Lexa just turned and disappeared into the woods leaving Clarke just where she found her.

 

**

 

Zeek lead, Clarke followed and Jael hung back at the rear. Clarke was used to it by now, after three days. This was the way they moved, apparently. Zeek had said a few things but Jael hadn't uttered a word. He barely looked at her either, for that matter, so by default Clarke liked him less.

 

Zeek was shorter than Jael but still much taller than she was. He was slimmer too, not as broad as many of the other warriors she had seen around the Trikru camp. Or in battle. His hair was long and black, held off his face in braids that cascaded down his back. They weren't the most intricate she had ever seen, not at all like the Commanders. They were simple, and by this their sixth walk Clarke felt she had way more knowledge on Zeek's braids and what the back of his clothes looked like than what she should from all this walking behind him she was doing.

 

Clarke rolled her eyes and sighed, jogging a little to fall into step beside Zeek. "Do you know where the Commander wants to take me?"

 

Zeek snapped his attention to her and his expression screamed surprise. He just looked at her for a good number of steps before the expression drained from his face and he resumed looking forwards. "No," he replied.

 

Clarke carried on looking at him. "What, not at all?"

 

Silence.

 

"Are you coming with us?"

 

Zeek seemed to be considering things, from as much as Clarke could make out. His eyes would drop to her before he quickly looked away again. "If the Commander requires it."

 

Clarke was so grateful for the conversation she could have done a dance about it, but she managed to suppress the urge. "She didn't ask you at the lake?"

 

Zeek looked at her properly, then. "The Commander doesn't ask," he informed her. "She instructs."

 

"Oh, right," Clarke murmured quietly, reminding herself to be clearer when she spoke. "That's what I meant."

 

"Zeek," a voice floated to them from behind.

 

Zeek immediately straightened and looked ahead while Clarke looked over her shoulder and saw Jael, still quite a way behind them.

 

She frowned, and turned back to Zeek. "Was that Jael?"

 

"Yes."

 

Clarke raised an eyebrow. "Does he need something?"

 

"No."

 

"Hod yo chichnes op."

 

Clarke looked over her shoulder again at Jael and then back at Zeek who was keeping his eyes firmly ahead. "What did he say?"

 

Zeek glanced at Clarke briefly. "Nothing." He pointed up ahead, "We are nearly there."

 

Zeek hurried his pace and left Clarke lagging behind, her knees not quite able to keep up with him. She glanced again at Jael briefly before she entered the same clearing Zeek just passed through. On the other side a huge meadow seemed to spread out in front of her. All yellows and blues and greens and pinks, all flowing gently from side to side in the breeze.

 

It was beautiful, and Clarke felt drawn to it. Like she needed to walk within it, touch the flowers and get lost in the sea of colour. She took a few hesitant steps forwards but then stopped, her eyes wide and a smile pulling urgently at her lips.

 

"Wow," Clarke breathed, captivated.

 

Zeek just watched her, Jael striding over to where the Commander and Indra sat atop their horses quite a few metres away.

 

Clarke gently shook her head. "It's beautiful."

 

Zeek turned his attention back to Clarke, his curiosity about the Sky girl getting the better of him. He cocked his head and rested his hands on the butt of his sword at his hip, stepping out and to the side of his charge.

 

"You have not seen it?" he enquired, keeping his voice very low. He knew how the wind could carry it and was wary of his superiors overhearing.

 

Clarke just continued gazing, her eyes darting around the meadow trying to capture every detail. "I've never seen anything like it," she breathed, pretty much mesmerised.

 

Zeek smiled, mostly at her expression and then at her words. He grew up running through meadows and fields such as this. It was hard to imagine a life without it. "Our lands are full of such things," he said as he followed her gaze. "You will learn of them."

 

Clarke looked at him, then, after she managed to pull her eyes away from the explosion of colour ahead. That's when she noticed the Commander in the distance, away and to the left of Zeek's shoulder. She was looking their way as Indra talked to her; Jael staring up at the general from where he stood on the ground.

 

There was a definite easiness to Zeek just then, a more casual way about him. He was smiling, too, something she rarely saw from any grounder and he seemed almost, familiar. In that weird way when you're aware such a thing isn't possible.

 

"They smell as good as they look, too," he added and then their eyes met. He only held her gaze for a moment before he ducked his head and then looked back out to the meadow, clearing his throat.

 

Clarke tried to figure it out. If she had seen his eyes before. On the march to Mount Weather, maybe. "Are you a warrior, Zeek? Or a guard?" She didn't know the right terms at all and it suddenly hit her once she'd asked the question. Perhaps the grounders didn't have terms like that. "Is there a difference?"

 

Zeek lengthened his spine and rolled back his shoulders, as if he couldn't speak of it unless his posture was correct. "We are all warriors," he responded proudly. "And we follow the orders we are given."

 

Clarke nodded gently. "No questions asked?"

 

Zeek furrowed his brow as he peered down at her, his voice gravelly. He looked as if that was the most absurd thing she could've asked. "Why would we question the Commander?"

 

Clarke didn't reply. She just shook her head, a thought going to what that would mean should her people want to get involved with Lexa's Coalition... She quickly pushed it out of her head.

 

She sighed and briefly closed her eyes, breathing in the faint scent of the wild flowers that battled before her. She really couldn't get over it. The beauty of it, and how she'd never seen it before. Perhaps the paths she had travelled since she landed were like this, just all the conflict had distracted her from it.

 

"What's your word for amazing?" she asked, rather absently.

 

Zeek heard some movement from his left so he subtly took a step back. "Badas," he whispered, and then he stood to attention.

 

"Clarke," Lexa greeted as she came to within a few feet of them.

 

Clarke turned to face her, still testing out _Badas_ in her mind. She thought it was funny. "Commander," she responded, after a moment.

 

Zeek just stared at the ground, his head bowed in respect and it was a few moments before Lexa addressed him.

 

Her eyes however, didn't leave Clarke. "Return to your first. He has orders for you."

 

"Yes, Commander," Zeek hurried, still not lifting his gaze and then he scurried off toward where Jael was waiting.

 

Clarke couldn't see Indra anywhere.

 

Lexa's hands were clasped behind her back and she seemed, remarkably, more relaxed too. She was regarding Clarke with an easiness she hadn't seen for a while. It was confusing; maybe it was a local holiday, or something.

 

"Will you walk with me, Clarke?" The Commander eventually asked, her lips pulling up at the corners ever so slightly.

 

Clarke wasn't particularly sure how she should be feeling. Lexa clearly wanted her to see the meadow, wanted its beauty to impact her, somehow. It actually made Clarke wish she had some canvas and paint. She really wanted to capture it but she supposed Lexa would gladly bring her here again.

 

"Sure," Clarke responded after some pointless indecision. Maybe she just wanted to make Lexa wait but that pleasant, inviting and warm gaze Lexa was bestowing on her seemed a little too heavy for her, right then.

 

Clarke swallowed as Lexa walked passed her and Clarke had to pivot a little so she wouldn't brush against her shoulder. Clarke swallowed again, hesitantly, and then she followed Lexa's path down the centre of the meadow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
>  Translations.  
>  **
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks once again to Jay012 on the reddit board.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **"Em hosa laik bakon kom Polis. Emo hod kos yu op."**  
>  _The riders are back from Polis. They wait for you._
> 
>  
> 
> **"Ai na hit kom em op. Pas daun."**  
>  _I will meet with them. Later._
> 
>  
> 
> **Flosha kom Maun-de klin.**  
>  _Destroyer of the Mountain._
> 
>  
> 
> **"Mochof."**  
>  _Thank you._
> 
>  
> 
> **"Hod yo chichnes op."**  
>  _Stop talking._
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for the read :) please let me know what you think, feedback is always welcomed :)  
> If you like you can find me on [Twitter](http://twitter.com/talented_gemx) and [Tumblr](http://talentedgemx.tumblr.com).


	4. fou

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa have a long, extended moment during which Lexa shares some things. Clarke does some socialising in TonDC and Lexa gets an update on Skaikru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the feedback on last chapter - much appreciated :) Please let me know what you think of this one.
> 
> As always you can hit me up on [Twitter](http://twitter.com/talented_gemx) or [Tumblr](http://talentedgemx.tumblr.com).

The meadow felt like it was never-ending. A veritable feast of colour for Clarke to devour, and she certainly did. Her eyes didn't feel wide enough, her brain not skilled enough at seeing this kind of beauty in reality. Not this close up. Not actually while she was _in_ it. She'd seen similar sights in pictures; in her imagination. Even when they first landed on the ground but they had all since been demolished by war. By death. Destruction.

 

Clarke reached her hand out to the side as she followed Lexa down the narrow path, already downtrodden by those who had walked it before, year after year Clarke assumed by the way the flowers now grew around it. Their pace was slow so Clarke was able to appreciate, feel the immense floribunda against her palm as tightly as the flowers were packed in, the idyllic vista apparently going on forever and Clarke wasn't eager for it to end. Her lips wore a half dreamy smile, her lungs full of air laced with the immaculate floral scent. She felt light. Even easy, perhaps. Her shoulders losing their apprehensive edge and although her knees were really troubling her, she didn't feel like that mattered. They would heal, after all.

 

Finally Lexa came to a stop ahead, the meadow opening up into a clearing with a slightly wider path that ran alongside the outer edge. Opposite lay a valley, wide and deep that stretched out far into the distance with separate rock formations on either side. A series of greens below them that changed as the fading sunlight hit them, a number of paths of yellow winding in and around them.

 

Clarke stepped next to Lexa to survey it, not minding at all how close to the edge they were, the air catching in her throat with every breath. She caught Lexa's expression momentarily before her eyes were drawn to the peaks in the distance, the way several rays of sunlight streaked from them and onto the trees below.

 

It was beyond beautiful, and Lexa seemed just as much in awe as she was.

 

"That's totally _badas_ ," Clarke murmured. Her eyes wide, her chest heavy as she felt drained from the walk but she didn't care. This she certainly had never seen before. Not even in a book. Not even in her imagination.

 

Lexa smiled; Clarke's use of the word amusing her but she couldn't force herself to pull her eyes away. This was one of her favourite places in all of Trikru territory, and with the sun setting it was even better. She just wanted to take Clarke a little further.

 

"Can you walk further?" Lexa asked, finally turning to Clarke.

 

Clarke exhaled a steady breath. "Yeah," she sighed, and then she fell into step with Lexa as she started walking again.

 

They continued on in silence for a few minutes, Clarke closest to the valley and all she could do was peer into it. Lexa's smile was permanent, captivated by the expression on Clarke's face. Never had she seen her smile as wide for so long, nor the worry lines disappear completely from her brow.

 

Lexa clasped her hands behind her back and was pleased with herself, her eyes setting on the path ahead. "How are your knees?" she asked, her head tilted in Clarke's direction.

 

"Better," Clarke replied absently, her eyes still glued to the valley and it made Lexa chuckle.

 

"The valley isn't going anywhere, Clarke."

 

Clarke dipped her head as she caught herself, realising just how taken aback by it all she really was. "I know," she grinned, turning to Lexa. "It's just..." and then she looked back out at the view. She couldn't quite explain it and then she laughed. Rich and throatily, her insides jumping a little with it.

 

Clarke grew up with a view of the Earth that was breathtaking. She saw it every single day but as few as four generations before her, only a handful of people could've said the same. Back then she would've been considered one of the lucky ones, to be able to see the Earth from space but to her, it was normal. Regular, just as it was for everyone else on the Ark. This though, now _this_ was a view.

 

This was stunning. Magnificent. Amazing, and all those other words Clarke didn't think could even begin to capture it. The world in close up as it lived. As it breathed, and it sapped the air right out of her.

 

"What is it?" Lexa asked, uncertain as to what the joke was.

 

Clarke just shook her head and tried to compose herself. "Nothing," she sighed eventually, the aftershocks of her laugh leaving her. "I just can't tell you," and then she gestured out at the valley with her hand, "how beautiful this is to me."

 

Lexa nodded. "You appreciate beauty."

 

Clarke swallowed. Her hands finding her hips, her chest taking in large gulps of air. "It's art," she replied. "Happening right in front of me."

 

Lexa's chest swelled proudly at the fact that something within her lands caused Clarke to have such a pleasurable reaction. She felt the happiness from that warm the inside of her chest as her blood pumped a little faster through her veins. "Come," she said as she took a purposeful stride forward. "It is not much further," and Clarke followed her willingly, despite the bite in her knees.

 

**

 

They continued their walk in silence as Lexa let Clarke appreciate the view. The look of wonder on her face was perfect, Lexa thought, and as the sun got lower it only got better.

 

They reached a low point in the cliff formation and Lexa touched Clarke's arm to stop her, pulling her back a little from the edge.

 

"Wait here," Lexa said and then for all intents and purposes, she seemingly disappeared off the edge of the cliff up ahead.

 

Clarke stepped forward, her eyes searching the now empty space. "Uhm... Lexa?" she sent out into the looming haziness of dusk. She stood there silently for a few moments, listening out for a reply but when none came she furrowed her brow and pushed out a steadying breath.

 

She lied before. Her knees were killing and her whole body felt sore. She put her hands on her hips and looked out at the cliff formation, the sun now peeking out from behind a row of clouds that flooded the valley below in a subtle, warm glow. Clarke took a couple steps toward the edge and felt the swirling wind from below engulf her, the cool evening air bracing the skin on her face as it swept up from below, blowing her hair in any and all directions.

 

It was refreshing. Freeing, even, and although Lexa was out of sight, as too were Lexa's guards she nevertheless felt safe. Like she could stand here with her eyes closed, her hands free of any weapons and she didn't have to be fearful. She didn't have to worry as there was no one out to kill her, there was no imminent threat to her people and for the first time since she set foot on the ground, there was no one depending on her either.

 

It was fantastic.

 

The freest she'd felt since stepping from the drop ship. Since the day she got put in solitary on the Ark, actually, and as she opened her eyes and let the warmth from the scene below flood her senses once more, she well and truly let that simple realisation sink in.

 

"Clarke."

 

Clarke suddenly felt emotional and she had to blink it all back before she felt able to turn in the direction of Lexa's voice.

 

Lexa she knew though, would be patient and after Clarke dipped her head and ran an errant hand through her hair, she turned towards the space where Lexa had earlier disappeared.

 

"Lexa?" Clarke asked, still not seeing any sign of the Commander. She took a few tentative steps in the general direction of Lexa's voice and then when she was close enough, she peered warily over the edge.

 

Clarke frowned as she saw the Commander standing on a ledge below the cliff edge, probably four or five feet down but what made Clarke uneasy was the width of the small ledge. It was tiny, in Clarke's opinion and as she peered past Lexa she saw the ledge vanish behind her and to the right, winding further into the cliff face.

 

Clarke eyed it dubiously but then pulled her gaze back to the Commander who was reaching up to her with an outstretched hand, beckoning Clarke forward with her trusting, unguarded eyes.

 

"It is safe," Lexa assured her, and then she angled her body a little so her back was to the valley, her brow arching in a silent question as she turned her palm toward the sky. "Are your knees up to it?" she asked, "I will not let you fall."

 

Clarke swallowed thickly; she couldn't help it. Whether or not Lexa knew it, her concerned eyes, her soft, enquiring voice and her open and inviting body language was completely captivating. Clarke wondered exactly how many people the Commander was like this with. Whether it was special to her, or perhaps it was just because Lexa knew she had something to make up for.

 

Clarke shook her head. Immediately hardening herself as she took Lexa's hand and jumped down to the ledge. It didn't matter either way, and Clarke was done pondering such things. She was there to fix herself. Not to help Lexa find some kind of forgiveness. It didn't matter how kind she was going to be to her. How compassionate. Clarke was just too confused about everything right then, too angry and broken. There was no way she could let the Commander get under her skin.

 

Clarke landed with a stumble and audible gasp as the impact shook through her knees. She fell forwards into Lexa and her free hand braced itself against her shoulder. Lexa immediately reaching out to steady Clarke's waist and as Clarke raised her head, her eyes opening from being forced shut with her landing she found Lexa gazing at her with concern once again laced in her eyes.

 

Clarke quickly stepped out of it, moving backwards so she could lean against the rock face behind her. She reached down to one of her knees and rubbed it gingerly, a furrow falling heavy on her brow.

 

"Come," Lexa said, taking a few steps along the ledge and away from Clarke. "We can rest just ahead."

 

Clarke sucked in a breath and straightened, the immense drop she saw to her left now Lexa had moved away making her knees feel even weaker. The view though was still magnificent, even if certain death was only a few feet away.

 

After only a few minutes Lexa seemed to vanish into the cliff face to the right which surprised Clarke, but just a few moments later she arrived at the same place and saw why.

 

In the cliff face there was a small cavern that was set back a few metres or so, as far as Clarke could see, and the Commander was already settled on a large rock near the front, cushioned by a number of furs and looking as though this was something she was quite used to, her eyes narrowing just a little as she fixed them out on the horizon.

 

Clarke smiled tightly as she stepped over to the Commander, exceptionally happy to finally be able to rest her knees as well as the rest of her, for that matter. She lowered herself gently and sighed heavily as a feeling of content gripped her, the soles of her feet easing straight away as the rock took her weight. She leaned back a little over on her one arm, her eyes falling closed and she wanted to ask Lexa why she had brought her here, to this obviously personal and private place when she opened her eyes and was instantly stunned into silence.

 

The sight was like magic. It was as if the misty shadows rising up from the valley below were somehow projecting a striking haze of yellow and orange that coated everything the light touched. The moisture from the vast forest turning into a blurry type of cover that the light bounced off, hitting the surrounding rocks making them glisten and shine. It really was breathtaking, and Clarke just simply couldn't find the words.

 

"Wow," Clarke breathed, and not for the first time that day. She felt like she was being overwhelmed. Well and truly. Zeek was right; their land really was full of such sights.

 

Lexa afforded her a small smile but sat there in silence, taking in the view herself as it had been a good while since she was last sat in this spot. She breathed in the earthy scent of her forest and waited.

 

Finally Clarke said more, the abundance of sounds from within the forest below doing enough to fill the silence. "This is amazing, Lexa," she sighed, only just loud enough to be heard above the din. "Really."

 

Lexa nodded. Her jaw still regally high and her back ramrod straight. "This is my favourite place in all of Trikru territory," she shared quietly, openly. In contrast to how she was sitting.

 

Clarke swept her eyes to the side but she didn't turn her head. She didn't let her gaze fall on the Commander and instead kept gazing at the sight in front of her, the colours changing with the fading light.

 

All of a sudden Lexa pointed out in front of them, and down a little into the valley. Her gaze following the line of her finger. "Sometimes shapes can be seen in the mist," she said, and Clarke could hear the smile in her words. "Just above the trees."

 

Clarke had to squint a little but she could see, kind of, as the mist rose and the wind made it swirl and collide inwards on itself. It sort of looked like certain shapes could form from patches of denser mist. Clarke smirked as the Commander kept on pointing, as if willing a more evident shape to appear. It didn't, however, and so finally Lexa retracted her hand.

 

Clarke did turn to her, then, and saw such an ease in the Commanders expression, her shoulders now slightly looser and her eyes almost disappointed that the mist hadn't obeyed her. It was as if they were just two friends sat here, enjoying each others' company. Not leaders of rival clans. Not brutal killers, each in their own right. "You often chase shapes in the mist, Commander?"

 

Lexa's gaze dropped briefly, as her eyes flicked to the edge of the ledge ahead of them and then back up again. She shrugged, nonchalantly, noting the playfulness in Clarke's tone. "Sometimes," she confessed, her lips quirking upward a little.

 

Clarke nodded at the admission, slightly amused but slightly something else, too. It just felt surreal, this, after everything they'd been through and it made her wonder if two bringers of war and death should be able to just sit, and talk like 'normal' people. As if their every action didn't carry so much weight. Lexa had spoken of 'moments' back in her cell, times where perhaps the guilt would simply disappear for a while and she thought that maybe, Lexa was trying to show her one of them now.

 

Clarke examined the Commander's profile, narrowing her eyes a little. She wondered how many such moments Lexa had been shown by someone else. If she wasn't so burdened and damaged by atrocity that any such beauty could possibly grant her a little relief. She was so young after all, and in this moment seeming nothing like the bloodstained leader she knew her to be. Clarke had to blink a few times as sadness quickly struck her, her heart thudding against her ribcage a little harder as she breathed in deeply, her attention turning back to the view.

 

"Do you come here often?" Clarke asked in an attempt to force her mind away from it, the playfulness in her tone now lost.

 

Lexa sighed and became wistful, just then. Perhaps even melancholy. Her voice sounded distant, her eyes drifting out into the distance. "When I was younger," she confessed, trying not to think of times long passed. "Not anymore."

 

Clarke kept looking ahead, her brow a little furrowed. She wanted to ask who Lexa once shared this place with. How long they would stay here. How many shapes they would chase in the mist but she didn't, reminding herself as she swallowed thickly not to ponder such things. She didn't need the conflict it caused in her chest so instead she let a prominent silence settle between them.

 

It was several long moments before Lexa spoke again. Before she was able to pull her mind from the last time she was sat there, and the times before that. She cleared her throat and spoke evenly. "How are your knees now, Clarke?"

 

Clarke raised her brow, feeling the pinch in her joints as she moved them a little. "Sore," she replied, just as evenly.

 

Lexa turned and ran her eyes over Clarke's body, taking note of the way Clarke winced as she attempted to straighten her legs. She immediately became concerned. "You should have said something sooner."

 

Clarke tilted her head, her hands moving to her thighs absently. "I can deal with it."

 

Lexa seemed to accept that, however her eyes carried on their slow, meticulous examination. "And how are you finding TonDC?"

 

Clarke tilted her head as she sucked in a breath, considering her response. "Uhhh good," she answered as she scratched at the side of her face. After a moment she cupped her jaw and rubbed her fingertips into the skin just below her ear. She thought of the last two days in the village, getting escorted around by her guards and people giving her wary, sideways glances. That was fine though. It was what she deserved. "I think people are scared of me."

 

Lexa smiled tightly at Clarke's troubled expression. "You defeated the Mountain, Clarke," she said softly. "Something my people have been attempting for nearly one hundred years."

 

Clarke's eyes fell closed at the mention of the Mountain. The thing she wanted to forget. She wondered if she'd ever have that luxury.

 

Lexa felt for her, but it needed to be said. Her eyes traced along the outline of Clarke's face. "They are in awe of you."

 

Clarke scoffed and she turned her head to face Lexa. "I doubt that."

 

Lexa knew of Clarke's pain. She had felt it herself, many times but she knew Clarke also needed to accept her own greatness or at the very least, the greatness others would see in her. Such was the status of a leader. In war there were victors and losers, it was the way it worked no matter how unfair. No matter the consequences. No matter the atrocity and the losses. Lexa frowned, though, for a moment, not certain if Clarke would ever be able to grasp that. It was kill or be killed, in the end, that's what it came down to and if you remained standing, you were lucky. But then you had to live with it.

 

Lexa inhaled deeply. "Well, they no longer need to fear the Mountain, and that is owed to you."

 

After a moment Clarke nodded slowly, and only a few times. Her brow remained furrowed and it was obvious to Lexa that Clarke would not learn these simple truths easily. She smiled instead, and looked back out across the valley. "They will get used to you."

 

Clarke appreciated Lexa not pursuing that line of conversation; she felt exhausted enough. They tried it the last time they spoke after all and it didn't go very well. She tried to pick through her pants to the edge of her bandages around her knees, trying to smile despite it all. "That's comforting," she quipped. "Like I'll get used to my guards?"

 

Lexa raised an eyebrow. "A necessary precaution."

 

Clarke turned where she sat, angling herself a little more toward Lexa. "Necessary for what?"

 

Lexa pretended not to notice. "Your safety."

 

Clarke looked at the Commander harder. Her eyes more intent. "And for yours?" She wondered if Lexa still thought she might attempt to kill her, or if she ever really thought she would at all. Bringing her here was a bit of a risk though, if the Commander ever truly believed it.

 

Lexa met Clarke's gaze after a few moments spent considering her answer. She decided to ignore the question altogether and address the issue of Clarke's safety within her borders. "You did kill three hundred of my warriors, Clarke. There are some who may look for vengeance."

 

Clarke scoffed, a little. "Even after your glowing speech?" She didn't intend for her every answer to sound so, sarcastic. But it seemed she couldn't keep the inflection from her tone. She still looked at Lexa with heavy, hard eyes. Eyes that were trying to cut through the Commander's soft gaze. She greatly wished Lexa wouldn't be this way with her. She thought perhaps it would be easier that way.

 

Lexa remembered the few words she had used to notify TonDC of its newest resident two days ago. How she'd left no room for confusion. Clarke was staying with them, no questions asked and she was to be welcomed and unharmed or else face the very painful repercussions.

 

She assumed Clarke was attempting humour with her comment. "It is a precaution," was all she said.

 

They sat in silence again for a little longer, both staring out into the valley. Clarke tried to calm her mind. Quieten the voice in her head that wanted to ask more questions. Wanted to know. Wanted to learn. Needed to, rather, but she just couldn't for fear of where it would go. She knew the time would come where she would likely rage at Lexa. When she would need to punish her. Or attempt to, at least, but she kept a lid on it for now. Pushed it down inside. A small cavern on a tiny ledge wasn't the place to do it, and certainly not with such a beautiful view.

 

Clarke breathed in heavily through her nose and closed her eyes. She straightened her back, pushed out her chest and exhaled. Slowly. Calmly.

 

Lexa could sense the volcano bubbling inside of Clarke. The heat was rising from her, little by little. The tension was there at times, when they got anywhere near touching the subject of the Mountain. Lexa could see it in the way Clarke moved her fingers against her thighs. Her hands remaining still but her fingertips pressing forcibly into the material of her pants. It was in the way her forehead would furrow, sometimes more so than others but it was constantly there. The way she would swallow deeply whenever Lexa spoke and the way her tone was generally flat. Lexa knew it was too soon for it to happen, but she was waiting for it all the same.

 

Ultimately though, Lexa just didn't know how long she could wait. There was only so much time she could invest in the Skaikru leader before it became foolish, and the Commander was certainly anything but that.

 

Lexa looked down at her own fingers resting idly in her lap before she raised her chin up once more. "Anya would often bring me here," she started quietly, pointedly changing the subject. "And to the meadow to centre myself in times of uncertainty." Lexa felt a certain tugging as she spoke of her mentor. She missed her, of course, which she could always push aside. The tugging however, she never could. "After battle."

 

Clarke looked at her, a frown still on her face. She remembered Anya, and felt the guilt hit her chest once more. "Did it help?"

 

Lexa narrowed her eyes and kept looking ahead. She weighed her answer carefully. "Sometimes."

 

Clarke sighed as she looked back out ahead, shaking her head, a little. It really was beautiful and in total contradiction to everything she felt. "I think it might take more than an incredible view, Lexa," she said as she leaned forwards, her forearms against her legs.

 

"That is what I said to Anya."

 

Clarke couldn't stop the smile from forming on her lips. She actually chuckled, a little. "What did she say?"

 

Lexa raised an eyebrow, unimpressed with the memory as she thought back to it. "She hit me over the head and told me to concentrate."

 

Clarke felt a laugh bubble at the back of her throat and it left her lips freely. The idea of an overbearing Anya swatting at a defiant young Lexa for being insolent was quite a funny one. The laugh didn't last long, however. She remembered Anya dying in her arms.

 

Clarke looked at her hands. "Do you miss her?"

 

Lexa inhaled sharply, swallowing thickly as her gaze focused on the mountain peaks across the valley. She was quiet for a while before she answered. "The dead are gone, Clarke."

 

Clarke eyed her closely, her head half turned to her. It was obviously a stupid question because Clarke knew Lexa did care. She had seen her vulnerable. Had seen Lexa's eyes when she left herself unguarded, if only for a moment. Whatever it was Lexa felt at Clarke's question though, she didn't let it show in her expression.

 

Clarke just nodded, and regretted once more the trigger happy nature of her people's guards. Anya deserved more than a bullet to the back; much more. She didn't think she could ever tell Lexa the truth about Anya's death. There was no benefit in it and so she pulled her eyes away, reluctantly. There would always be secrets, Clarke was realising, and they were just as much a burden to bear.

 

"Soon there is a celebration."

 

Clarke returned her eyes quickly, focusing them on the motion of Lexa's lips. "Oh?" she asked, both interested and intrigued. "A party?" It was hard to imagine.

 

Lexa turned her attention to Clarke, her expression still remarkably even and calm. She flicked her eyes down Clarke's body and back up again, appreciating for the first time the way she wore grounder clothing. It looked good on her, she thought, and then she just nodded by way of an answer.

 

It was annoying how much prompting Lexa needed sometimes. Clarke wondered if it was a leader thing or if all the grounders lacked decent conversational skills. Anya hadn't been that good at it either. "What for?"

 

Lexa let her expression slip, a little. Becoming slightly easier with her body language. She raised her brow as she replied, a small sigh escaping her lips. "It is customary. Marking the end of summer."

 

Clarke nodded. "I see."

 

Lexa licked her lips. Her fingers still playing together in her lap. "TonDC is healing," she said as she held onto Clarke's gaze. "It will help." The look in Clarke's eyes made her pause, briefly. "Help to raise spirits."

 

Clarke pulled in a deep breath. She had seen the progress TonDC had made since the missile. It was mostly rebuilt, mostly rectified aside from the difference in the soil and tree line. Lexa was clearly as hard a task master as she was a leader. Or maybe she just wanted the evidence cleared up as quickly as possible. Clarke could still see the regret in the Commander, however. It was in the way her frame dipped ever so slightly. The way the corners of her mouth weighed down when she spoke just then. If she had more of an inclination she would've asked Lexa about it. About hiding things from her people and shielding them from the truth for their own good. She didn't though. That would come.

 

Lexa cleared her throat quietly. "There is a bonfire," she said, attempting to lighten the mood. She glanced at Clarke quickly and then lowered her eyes. "And, music."

 

Clarke raised her eyebrows. "Music?" She definitely couldn't imagine that and if the Commander's sudden awkwardness was anything to go by, neither could she. It was also quite amusing.

 

"Yes."

 

"Singing?"

 

Lexa looked horrified. "No."

 

Actually it was very amusing. Clarke couldn't help a smile creeping across her face. She felt like teasing Lexa, if the Commander could actually be teased. "Dancing?"

 

Lexa swallowed as she paused, her eyes back on the edge of the ledge out in front of them. She raised a solitary eyebrow, a subtle indicator that she knew what Clarke was doing. "Sometimes."

 

Clarke chuckled. It was true all she really knew of the grounders were their warriors, aside from the few other villagers she had seen over the last few days. None had interacted greatly with her however and she honestly just couldn't imagine any of them enjoying themselves. Let alone the whole camp cutting loose and dancing to music. She was already eager to see it.

 

Clarke's chuckle lead to a full on laugh as she looked to the sky for a few moments and then back at Lexa who was looking at her with a most perturbed expression. Almost as if she couldn't believe she had made Clarke laugh with such a simple thing.

 

Clarke composed herself and then nudged the Commander with her elbow. She felt like moving past it, for a moment. Like trying for a 'normal' conversation regardless of how weird it felt. "Do you dance, Commander?"

 

Lexa enjoyed seeing Clarke in such a free moment so she decided to indulge her in her teasing. She suppressed her smile as best she could and shifted in her position a little, her voice taking on a firmer tone. "I do not."

 

Clarke could see the playfulness in Lexa's eyes as much as she was hiding it now within the fading light. She bit on her bottom lip. "I don't believe you."

 

Lexa dipped her head, then, and rested her palms on the edge of her seat at her sides. Her fingers pushing into the softness of the furs. It only took a second for her gaze to drop to the ground and then back up again. "Commander's don't dance," she said, just as firmly and then she turned her head to Clarke, fixing her within her gaze. "We observe."

 

Clarke chuckled again, briefly. "Oh really?" she asked, her eyes blinking a few times with her mirth before she stalled. She was pinned. Stuck all of a sudden within the Commander's regard. Her eyes flicked down to Lexa's lips as they always tended to do for reasons Clarke didn't want to consider but then she looked away.

 

She pulled herself away forcefully, her hair falling over her face a little so she tilted her head, breathed in deeply and shook her hair back. "When is it?" she asked. "The party?"

 

Lexa was still watching her intently. She frowned though at Clarke's last word. "Party..?" she inquired slowly, testing the word out on her tongue. When Clarke looked at her she furrowed her brow in question.

 

"Uhh the celebration." Clarke clarified.

 

Lexa nodded once, realising. "A few days."

 

Clarke cleared her throat as she set her eyes forward, still feeling Lexa's on her but not uncomfortably so. She smiled again as she shook her head. "Well I look forward to it."

 

Lexa smiled tightly in return. "It will be good for you," she said simply, "as it will for everyone."

 

Clarke raised her brow. "It's hard to imagine a celebration here," she said a little sadly. "On the ground." It just seemed unimaginable, really. After everything she'd seen since arriving. It was so contradictory and out of place.

 

Lexa scoffed, a little. A small smile really tugging on her lips. "You should see the one we have in Polis," she began, turning back to Clarke as her eyes lit up a little, too. "A fire pit that stretches up to the sky. Music playing on every corner." She started gesturing with her hands in front of them as if they could describe it better than she could. "Food as far as the eye can see. Painters, dancers, men who will astound you with their trickery."

 

It was hard not to mirror the joy Lexa clearly felt as she spoke of this event in Polis. It was a sight to see, the Commander getting carried away and Clarke couldn't help but grin at it.

 

"Games for all to play. To test your skill against another." Lexa trailed off but her expression didn't fade. She felt her heart pound a little harder as she spoke of it. Of Polis and the annual gathering where all in attendance celebrated each other and the union of the Coalition. It filled her lungs with pride, her chest expanding with accomplishment. It made her glad of all the things she had done.

 

"Sounds amazing," Clarke uttered, breaking the silence that they were suddenly in.

 

Lexa looked at her with wide eyes. "I will take you," she stated firmly, forgetting herself for a moment. Forgetting that Clarke was not one of them. Yet.

 

Clarke blinked and Lexa sucked in a wordless breath, swallowing it down quickly. "If you would allow it," she tacked onto the end.

 

Clarke didn't know what to say. "I-"

 

"-We must go," Lexa suddenly announced, rising to her feet and surveying the valley below. Half of it now in darkness. "Before the light gets too low."

 

Clarke was a bit shocked but ultimately happy that conversation wasn't going any further. She leaned back a little as she tried to stretch her legs out, preparing her knees for getting up. She winced as she moved them. "Okay."

 

Gingerly Clarke managed to get up, her hand reaching out for Lexa half way through who was more than happy to oblige. She regarded Clarke with something close to concern however her more familiar expressionless face was quickly slipping back into place.

 

Once she was stable Clarke pulled free of Lexa's grip and used the cliff face for balance instead. She was hobbling, a little, but knew she'd be able to walk it off. She wasn't looking forward to the jump back up to the path, however. "Is there another way back from here?" she asked, hopeful.

 

Lexa watched Clarke go for a few steps with some trepidation before she followed her, ready to catch her should she make any sudden movements. Lexa momentarily peered over the edge and shrugged. "We would sometimes climb up from the valley below," she said, bringing her gaze back to Clarke. "The easiest path down is from where we were sitting."

 

Clarke paused and straightened, her fingertips finding purchase in the grooves of the cliff. She looked over her shoulder at Lexa with astonishment and then disbelief.

 

Lexa's gaze was even. "I do not believe you would make it."

 

Clarke's eyebrows slowly crawled up her forehead and then her jaw dropped open as she peered down into the valley. "Lexa, you're joking," she laughed, not knowing how else to take it.

 

Lexa however, remained as stoic as she usually was.

 

Clarke shook her head and carried on walking. "How are you not dead from that climb? I don't even want to know how big that drop is."

 

"I climb well."

 

Clarke rolled her eyes. "No shit," she muttered, coming to a stop as she reached their entry point.

 

Lexa eyed her, then, as Clarke leaned against the rocks. "You do not believe me?"

 

Clarke unconsciously tried to push herself further into the rock face. She pointed to the edge. "That's ridiculously high."

 

Lexa swept her gaze to the edge and back again, calmly linking her hands behind her back without regard to how close to it she was standing. "Anya would suggest we climb it when she felt I was being particularly..." she searched for an appropriate word, "...unresponsive during training."

 

That was fitting enough, Clarke thought. The massive leap to her certain death when escaping from the reaper tunnels was only because Anya lead her to it, after all.

 

Lexa levelled out her chin. "She said it built composure and resolve in the face of danger." She swallowed. "She was correct."

 

Clarke raised her eyebrows. "Right. It's still high."

 

Lexa narrowed her eyes and took a step closer to Clarke. "You do not like heights?"

 

Clarke turned her head away, not answering for a good few moments. "Well they're not my favourite thing, let's put it that way." She was certain she saw a smirk forming at the edge of Lexa's lips.

 

"You lived in the sky, Clarke, and you do not like heights."

 

Clarke cut her eyes at her. "Yeah and I fell from it, remember? That's far." She turned to the small clearing above the ledge and peered up at it. "You're going to have to help me, here."

 

Lexa tucked her smirk away and stepped close in at Clarke's side. She was careful not to touch her, however. "Then surely you'd be able to manage a simple cliff."

 

The look Clarke threw her was poisonous but Lexa was sure not to meet it. She looked up to the clearing and kept on looking, as long as she knew Clarke was glaring at her so intently. Her face remained impassive so Clarke had no idea if she was joking or not but finally, Clarke looked back up to the clearing.

 

"Would you like me to pull you, or push you?" Lexa asked, her tone even as she was careful to keep her tone inflection-free.

 

Clarke's eyes were once again on her, as quickly as she'd pulled them away. Somehow she thought maybe she was imagining this, or something, as their conversation was getting more surreal by the second. Either that or the Commander was choosing this time to show her she had a great sense of humour.

 

Clarke just swallowed and tried to push all pondering out of her mind, again. She wasn't doing that anymore after all, was she? She needed to remember that fact. She moved her eyes to Lexa. "Push."

 

Lexa met her gaze and smiled, placing her hands on Clarke's waist and ready to boost her up to the ledge above them.

 

**

 

Clarke spent the next few days getting to grips with grounder culture. She helped with the food - cooking it, rather than catching it. Zeek had offered to train her but she politely declined. She helped with injuries, exchanged a few words with the healer about correct procedure and aftercare however it didn't seem to be appreciated. All she got for her repeated efforts was some heated words in Trigedasleng, and Clarke once more made a mental note to learn it. The quicker the better.

 

The residents of TonDC became easier with her. Stopped at least either staring at her or giving her a wide berth. She even became on a first name basis with a few, especially the hunters and cooks, and of course she was never out of sight of one of her guards.

 

Jael disappeared more than Zeek, he was obviously higher up the rankings. Clarke saw him meet with Dax frequently, probably to discuss her. Maybe something more. Since returning with Lexa the other night Clarke had barely seen her, aside from when she emerged from her tent to greet one of her generals before promptly disappearing back inside it.

 

She would always look though, scan her surrounding area until her eyes fell on Clarke. She wouldn't smile however, just hold Clarke's gaze and once or twice she nodded but then she would get lost in conversation with whoever was next to her.

 

A part of Clarke wondered what was so pressing, that kept Lexa inside her tent for most of the day, every day. If it was something to do with her people then... - she had to cut herself off. It was hard though, but she made herself do it. It was necessary.

 

"You are distracted."

 

The voice startled her, and Clarke pulled her attention away from Lexa's tent just as she saw Indra striding toward it. "Uhmm, yeah," Clarke gasped, surprised. She cleared her throat as she turned to Sienna, one of the hunters who always hunted with Zeek.

 

"You look often to Heda's tent," Sienna pointed out. "What is it you wish to see?" She smiled widely as she heaved her catch up onto the table to the side of Clarke.

 

Clarke shrugged not really sure what to say. "Nothing," was all that came to mind. "I don't know." She scratched at the side of her neck. Zeek introduced her to Sienna the day before; an energetic young warrior a few years younger than Clarke, perhaps, with wide blue eyes and a smile that matched her enthusiasm. Clarke couldn't help but grin around her, she had talked her ear off yesterday with questions about the sky and she looked set to do the same today.

 

"Zeek told me to find you," she carried on, breathing heavily from the exertion of her hunt, presumably. She placed her hand on top of the bag that contained her catch and leaned her weight upon it. "And here you are."

 

Clarke squint her eyes at her new friend, the early afternoon sun getting in her eyes and she grinned affectionately. "You seem knackered," she noted, Sienna's chest heaving up and down rather frantically.

 

Sienna responded with a frown. "Knack...?" and then she shook her head.

 

"Tired," Clarke corrected herself with a slight roll of her eyes. She was always doing that. "Out of breath."

 

"Oh," Sienna nodded. "Yes." She had to give herself a few seconds to ease her chest. "The hunt was good."

 

Clarke nodded.

 

"Come next time," Sienna offered. "It is fun."

 

Clarke raised her eyebrows, the smirk still gracing her lips. "Oh I'm sure."

 

"You should," Sienna added in a slightly more serious tone, the most serious Clarke had heard it. "It is an important skill."

 

Clarke tried not to laugh at the semi-serious expression. "Oh I know. But why when there are trained hunters to do it for me?"

 

Sienna looked like she couldn't quite put into words what she wanted to say. Or at least translate it into English. She scoffed, a little, and then straightened up where she stood, staring at Clarke for just a little longer than was necessary. "Clarke kom Skaikru. The true words of someone from the sky."

 

Clarke did laugh, this time, but was cut short by a mean looking grounder who stomped over to them and tried to shoo them away from what was clearly his work station.

 

"Gyon au! Bak op!" he shouted, and Sienna practically jumped away from the table. Clarke took a slow step back. "Yu na kamp raun hir, yu sis ai au!"

 

Clarke just looked at him, confused.

 

Sienna laughed as she moved to Clarke's side. "He says if we stay, we help him."

 

"Oh," Clarke smiled, looking a little squeamish as he emptied the bag onto the table and then grabbed a knife, presumably to start skinning. "No," she said, shaking her head. It was definitely a small animal, of some kind. "Thank you."

 

Sienna slapped the man on the back; she was obviously quite familiar with him. "Chil au. Osir na bants." She grabbed Clarke by the arm and pulled her away. "Come, before he starts gutting."

 

Clarke screwed up her face as they started to walk away. "That's gross."

 

Sienna looked sideways at her, a little confused. "Yet you eat the meat."

 

"Yeah, but if I see intestines I never will again."

 

Sienna laughed. "Living in the sky has softened your stomach."

 

Clarke raised an eyebrow at the obvious mockery. She glanced at her. "Says the brave warrior who was startled by and old man."

 

Sienna was immediately offended and she puffed out her chest. "I was not startled."

 

Clarke grinned widely. "He scared you."

 

"He did not!" Sienna defended, knowing full well Clarke had her. She looked away a little bashfully, a frown on her face. "Do not tell Zeek."

 

Clarke chuckled. She liked Sienna, and liked the easy way they were together. However it did make her miss Raven, and Octavia, and made her think what their friendships could've been like without the burden of her leadership. She sighed and looked in the general direction of Lexa's tent, again.

 

Sienna was quick to notice and she jumped on it. "And what of you and the Commander?" she asked with a grin on her lips. "She fascinates you. That is obvious."

 

Clarke sighed again and shook her head. She wouldn't say 'fascinate' was the right word but, she couldn't think of another and she wouldn't tell one of Lexa's warriors that she sometimes hated the Commander with a serious passion. But she also felt the complete opposite with a serious passion too, at times. So confusing, so instead she said nothing and just frowned at the ground.

 

Sienna smiled, not caring that she was prying in the least. Clarke was beginning to realise that all grounders had a thing for being direct. "She is impressive."

 

Clarke looked at her. "Impressive?" Sienna had such a look of awe on her face Clarke was almost taken back by it.

 

Sienna nodded, her eyes fixed on Lexa's tent. "Yes. Courageous. Strong. We are lucky that she is here so often. Any village she chooses to stay in is honoured."

 

That made Clarke stop. "She isn't always here?"

 

"No," Sienna replied. "She spends a lot of time in Polis. The capital."

 

"Oh," Clarke breathed. She hadn't realised Lexa wouldn't always be here. It made her frown, a little. "Right. So, why is she here then?"

 

Sienna shrugged. "Perhaps the celebration. She was here for the threat of the mounon. But now that is over, we do not know when she will leave."

 

Clarke just nodded, not really sure what to say or what to think, to be honest. Luckily Sienna started talking again.

 

"I would be happy if she stayed here always."

 

Clarke smiled. "You really like her, huh?"

 

Sienna looked at Clarke incredulously. "Of course," she gaped. "She is my Commander. My Heda. I respect her as our great leader. She brought peace to the feuding clans. The first Commander to ever do so."

 

It was hard to envisage Lexa as a beacon of peace, but Clarke realised she had no frame of reference. "How did she do it?" she enquired, curious. "Bring peace?"

 

Sienna frowned, thinking deeply about how to summarise it. "There was a great war. Endless." She swallowed. "Much death. It was before I was old enough to fight but my parents told me stories of Heda, of how she fought bravely to bring us peace. There are many stories, from many people, but the truth is all around us."

 

Clarke nodded, taking it all in. "So there's no fighting among the clans anymore?"

 

Sienna shook her head. "No. Disagreements yes, but Heda settles them without war."

 

"And that's it?" Clarke asked. "No one questions the Commanders decisions?"

 

Sienna smiled as if that was a stupid question. "I do not ask questions that are not my business. I am not a general. Heda sacrificed much for us, for peace," her tone lowered, her face taking on a sudden sadness. "I will follow her into anything."

 

"Sienna!"

 

Sienna spun around where she stood, both scared and intimidated by Jael's sudden and booming voice. She stood to attention in front of him.

 

Jael eyed Clarke warily before he looked down at Sienna. "Weron bilaik Zeek?"

 

Sienna dipped her head, really wishing Zeek would hurry up back from the hunt. "Gon homplei."

 

Jael nodded slowly as he peered between the two girls sternly. Clarke looked at him curiously while Sienna wouldn't meet his eyes. He was clearly angry about something. "Hod daun yu teisa, Sienna," he said firmly, his eyes fixed on the young warrior. "Gon we."

 

Sienna just nodded, glancing quickly at Clarke before leaving without a second word.

 

Clarke squared her eyes at Jael, wondering what the hell he'd said to Sienna. After a moment or two she had to swallow, Jael's penetrating stare being a little too much. She didn't look away, however.

 

Zeek suddenly appeared, interrupting their stare off and the look on his face was riddled with apprehension. "Moba, Jael," he uttered, breathlessly.

 

Jael turned to him with a menacing glare which made Zeek lower his gaze. "Ai em op," he instructed as he turned and then walked away.

 

Clarke felt a sudden confrontational urge come over her. She stood to the side of Zeek. "What's your problem?" she demanded after Jael.

 

Zeek just stared at her wide eyed. "Shof op," he urged, forgetting in his haste to use English.

 

Jael turned to them, smirked a little and then continued walking away.

 

Clarke shook her head as she exhaled, throwing her hand in the air. "What's his problem?" she asked, fairly annoyed. She was still yet to have any kind of conversation with her older guard.

 

"He is old," Zeek said by way of an explanation as soon as Jael was out of earshot.

 

Clarke scoffed. "So?"

 

"You are new," Zeek started. "Different, and he does not trust you." He moved his eyes to Clarke. "He fears what he does not know."

 

"Well he'll never know me if he won't talk to me."

 

Zeek smiled, then, pulling Clarke by the arm to get her moving. "That is not his way."

 

Clarke shook her head, some grounder 'ways' were just so stupid and she had half a mind to say so. Zeek however, carried on talking.

 

"Come. You must help prepare the celebration."

 

Clarke grinned at him. "Oh I must, huh?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

Zeek just glared at her. "Yes."

 

**

 

"Our borders remain secure, Commander," Indra said, stood to attention with her hand on the hilt of her sword at her hip. "The Sky People do not cross them." Her eyes were dark, though, practically screaming her distrust for them.

 

Lexa nodded, sitting regally on her throne as her fingers played idly with her dagger in her lap. "And what of the Mountain?" She knew the Sky People were doing something there and it worried her.

 

"They take supplies. Equipment," Indra reported. "We should stop them before they use it against us."

 

Lexa thought for a long moment, the dagger turning slowly between her two forefingers. This was something she'd ideally like to discuss with Clarke, but she respected that she needed time to heal, however unfortunate the timing may be. "I want to know exactly what they are taking and when."

 

"With respect, Commander," Indra interjected, stepping forward. "It is too late once they have already taken the weapons."

 

Lexa sighed. "Indra, the weapons were disabled before our march upon the Mountain-"

 

"-The weapons we know about, Commander."

 

Lexa glared at her, then. Her eyes suddenly deadly. She pushed her words out through clenched teeth. "So tell me what they are taking, when they are taking it!" Her voice was almost a growl. "I want them watched at all times, do you understand?"

 

Indra immediately conceded with her eyes, knowing when she should not press the issue. "Yes, Commander."

 

Lexa glared between Indra and Dax warningly. She knew Indra was keen to push the Skaikru into their camp and keep them there, and she knew Dax was heavily concerned with events in Polis. She could see it troubling their eyes.

 

"Commander we must speak with their Council," Dax began from his position to the left of Indra. "Clarke no longer leads them. We must begin negotiations in her stead."

 

"They will be foolish not to join us," Indra interrupted. "They are on our land, they owe us a debt."

 

"They do," Lexa said loudly, rising to her feet. The dagger still in her hands. "They will join us, but I will not force them unnecessarily. It would be a mistake after my decision at the Mountain."

 

Lexa's mind quickly diverted to Polis, to her Coalition and then back to the Sky People. It was certainly a difficult balancing act but then she was used to that. What was true was that the Sky People needed to be aligned, and she knew the quickest way to do that was through Clarke.

 

She looked at Dax. "While Indra will watch the Mountain you will watch Camp Jaha. I want to know the movements of their leaders. What their future plans may be." She strode over to her war table, placing her dagger on it carefully. "Listen to their hunters, the Sky People are loose lipped and are not quiet. They will share their secrets."

 

"If we capture one of them, we will learn more sooner," Dax suggested.

 

"No," Lexa responded firmly. "They will talk when they think no one is listening."

 

Dax thought about protesting but was more than wary of the look in his Commander's eyes. He swallowed and stood up straighter. "Yes, Commander," he conceded.

 

Lexa fixed her attention on her table. "Importantly watch our borders to the north. Our line must be held should an attack arrive."

 

Dax looked to Indra quickly, and then back to Lexa. "Are we expecting one, Commander?"

 

Lexa met Indra's gaze and held it for a moment before she looked back to Dax. The two of them remembering the exact moment the last clan war came. "We should always expect one," Lexa answered, her chest tightening a little at the prospect. "Even when one does not come."

 

She looked back at her table and surveyed it proudly; her lands and the clans around it. Each one a piece of her Coalition. She would not let it all come to nothing and she would be foolish not to expect some movement from the north. She didn't think it to be imminent however, but Lexa was always wary. It paid her to be.

 

"Expand our scouts further," Lexa ordered before turning herself to Dax. She took a breath. "I will leave for Polis soon."

 

It was obvious in his expression that Dax was relieved. "Shall I send word?" he asked, his eyes now more appeased.

 

Lexa's brow furrowed, a little. "No," she replied, her tone somewhat softer. "You will accompany me, Dax, and we shall see exactly where the clans' loyalties lie."

 

"Yes, Commander," Dax replied, and then he sort of smiled.

 

Lexa lifted her chin, her hands linking behind her back. "Relay my orders, and tonight you are both to enjoy the celebration."

 

It seemed redundant, enjoyment in the midst of chaos but the celebration was for TonDC, not its leaders so Dax left intent on carrying out Lexa's wishes. He was just glad they would soon leave for Polis.

 

Indra remained behind, as she usually did. She moved closer to the Commander, standing just over her shoulder as Lexa turned and leaned her palms on the smooth surface of her table.

 

Indra could sense the apprehension in her leader. She knew her better than anyone, after all. "You worry for Polis, Commander?" It was more a statement than a question, but Indra asked it anyway.

 

Lexa remained stoic, her brow firmly furrowed. "For the Coalition, Indra," she answered. "Same as you."

 

Indra stood straighter then, as if that would further project what she had to say. "You broke the north once, you shall do it again."

 

Lexa closed her eyes as she heard the words. She never wanted another battle like that. Ever. She knew legend would endear her as a hero; she had heard the varying stories amongst her people many times, on many different occasions. The main reason though she couldn't allow the Coalition to fall was because of the amount of bloodshed spilt in order to achieve it. The heavy burden of sacrifice. The life she witnessed drain from so many eyes in the pursuit of peace.

 

For a moment Lexa's voice went quiet, her head bowed forward a little. "I hope it will not come to that."

 

Indra understood. Of course she did. She was there the last time, after all. She saw the same amount of blood Lexa did when she closed her eyes. She wasn't however good with words, not like Gustus had been but it didn't mean she loved her Commander any less.

 

She turned her attention to the curve of Lexa's back. To the line of her shoulders as she leaned forwards. Her hand though remained fixed around the hilt of her sword squeezing it tighter still. "As do I, Commander," she said quietly, and then she saw Lexa's head rise back up and heard her take in a heavy breath. "But if it does, I know you will make the right decisions."

 

Lexa breathed out and let her thoughts return to something other than past wars. She felt herself harden however, and a certain kind of calmness sweep through her. A heavily tried and tested way of centring herself and her thoughts.

 

She turned to Indra, her stoic mask back in place. "See to your warriors, Indra, and ensure they attend the celebration."

 

Indra nodded, the need for words no longer present. "Yes, Commander," she responded, and then she left the tent.

 

Lexa felt unusually agitated. She felt the impending situation from Polis even though she wasn't there yet. She felt the uncertainty over the Sky People even though she had Clarke which pretty much ensured their cooperation, however she hated the idea of using Clarke to that end while she was in Trikru territory, trying to heal and knew nothing of all this.

 

Lexa scratched at the side of her neck and started to pace at the side of her table, her thoughts once again falling on Clarke... She wouldn't let her feelings dictate her actions but at the same time she wasn't denying them either. She knew what she must do, that she would have to use Clarke if that was the last option available but she absolutely didn't want to.

 

She wanted things with Clarke she knew she couldn't have. For many different reasons and she felt the weakness bite at her while she allowed her thoughts to linger there.

 

Her duty would always be to her people first, and she knew Polis would likely force things upon them before Clarke was ready. She had hoped to make Clarke understand first but honestly, she couldn't see that there was time. Involving Clarke would be inevitable, and going to Polis would let her know how long it would be before that had to happen. Time to heal be damned.

 

The time for healing would have to come later.

 

Lexa turned and took a step around her table when she heard the sudden rise of voices from outside. One was Clarke, she recognised it right away and the other she knew to be one of her warriors. She drew her sword automatically as her expression grew worried and as she took a hasty step toward the flap of her tent, Clarke came barging in with an enraged Indra hot on her heels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Translations. **
> 
> Thanks to [Commander-Smolder](http://commander-smolder.tumblr.com/) from Tumblr for her help on my translations! :)
> 
>  
> 
> **"Gyon au! Bak op! Yu na kamp raun hir, yu sis ai au!"**   
>  _"Go! Get back. You stay here, you will help."_
> 
> **"Chil au. Osir na bants."**   
>  _"Calm down. We will leave."_
> 
> **'the mounon'.**   
>  _The Mountain._
> 
> **"Weron bilaik Zeek?"**   
>  _"Where is Zeek?"_
> 
> **"Gon homplei."**   
>  _"The hunt."_
> 
> **"Hod daun yu teisa, Sienna. Gon we."**   
>  _"Mind your tongue, Sienna. Go."_
> 
> **"Moba, Jael."**   
>  _"I'm sorry, Jael."_
> 
> **"Ai em op."**   
>  _"Watch her."_
> 
> **"Shof op."**   
>  _"Be quiet."_


	5. fai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The people of TonDC prepare for the festival and Clarke finds herself in a bit of trouble. Clarke and Lexa continue to build their relationship and after a number of 'moments' together they find themselves in Lexa's tent, arguing certain truths and getting lost in the heat that is often between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try and step these updates up a bit so I can catch up with where the story is at.
> 
> As always let me know what you think, leave a review or shower me with kudos ;)
> 
> You can find me on [Twitter](http://twitter.com/talented_gemx) or [Tumblr](http://talentedgemx.tumblr.com) as well.
> 
> I'm on [Deviant Art](http://talentedgemx.deviantart.com) now too so check out my Clexa fan art you know, if you like :)

Indra's eyes were full of rage and Clarke's weren't much easier. Their chests were heaving and their body language completely confrontational, Lexa regarding them both carefully before she took a long look at her general and then finally turning her attention to Clarke.

 

She studied her closely for any visible signs of injury and when she came up with nothing she sucked in a breath through clenched teeth and returned her sword to its sheath, casting them both a dangerous, reprimanding glare.

 

"What is this?" Lexa demanded, her back ramrod straight and her head tilted forward a little, her gaze darting back and forth between them.

 

"Skaikru laik branwada, Heda," Indra seethed, her tone mirroring her words in their distaste. She didn't understand why they were having to babysit this Skygirl at all. "Osir nou gaf taim en osir nou gaf ai disha veida op.."

 

Clarke wrenched her eyes from the ground and turned sharply to Indra. "-Insult me all you like."

 

Indra glared at her.

 

Clarke narrowed her eyes and took a step toward her. "Yeah I know some of your language. Call me what you want. I'm not just going to stand there and watch a boy get a beating-"

 

Indra turned abruptly to her Commander. "-She interferes with our culture and expects leniency. Em beda bilaik honon kom taim oso na lan em op."

 

" _Em pleni_ , Indra," Lexa growled. This was the last thing she needed to be sorting out. She took in the anger in Indra's expression and the level of determination that ghosted across Clarke's face just behind her. It made her sigh, heavily, and she furrowed her brow. "Who is the boy?"

 

Indra fidgeted as she took a step back, turning away from Lexa a little. She was annoyed as petty squabbles between their people was beneath her title. "Theo," she hissed. "It is for Seth to deal with his second as he sees fit." She glared at Clarke, then, and gritted her teeth. "It is not for this _Skygirl_ to interfere in things she does not understand."

 

Clarke raised her eyebrows. "He pushed him to the ground and drew his sword," she said quickly as she gestured in front of her with her hands. "Right in front of me."

 

Lexa shook her head.

 

"Lexa," Clarke breathed as she took a step closer to the Commander. She lowered her voice. "He was hurting him."

 

Indra scoffed as she cast her eyes to the roof of the tent. This was _very_ unnecessary, and she knew the Commander would be thinking the same thing.

 

Clarke stepped toward Indra. "So that's the kind of thing that happens here? Random beatings of children for all to see?"

 

"Clarke," Lexa said coldly, silencing her instantly. Her tone cut through the atmosphere like a diamond through glass. "Where is Zeek? Jael?" It was one of the reasons Clarke had guards, after all. To ensure misunderstandings like this didn't occur.

 

"Zeek is with Seth," Indra grunted. "Attempting to appease him after an outsider thought she knew better in how to reprimand his second."

 

Lexa sighed. That wasn't good. She supposed there was an audience too when Clarke tried to defend Theo from his first. She shook her head, again. This was messy, and then she turned to her general. "Tell Seth I will speak with him later."

 

Indra equally knew how bad this looked to their people. The conqueror of the Mountain enforcing her way of life on the Trikru. If Clarke was going to continue, where would it end?

 

Indra pushed out a breath and turned herself to Lexa. "Heda," she began, her voice low. "This mustn't be repeated. Our people will-"

 

"-Ai get dison in, Indra." Of course she knew. She had ordered Clarke to learn from her guards how to behave within TonDC. This was a clear violation; something none of them needed. She threw a firm look at Indra so there was no room for clarification. "Tell Seth what I ask."

 

"Sha, Heda."

 

Clarke looked between the two of them and wasn't sure what was happening. She knew she perhaps shouldn't have interfered, but it was her instinct. It looked like Theo was being hurt by a man twice his size. She couldn't just stand by and let it happen.

 

"Commander," Clarke beckoned. "I don't understand. Is this the way of things here? Surely whatever he did couldn't warrant that."

 

Both Lexa and Indra looked at Clarke, their gazes like stone. Their expressions holding back anger. It was odd, coming from Lexa. Clarke hadn't seen fury in her eyes like this since before the Mountain.

 

Lexa stepped closer to Clarke. "I assume Theo is alive and well?" Her voice was low this time, calm. A complete contradiction to what was going on in her eyes.

 

Clarke just met her gaze firmly.

 

"Yes, Commander," Indra answered.

 

Lexa's jaw flexed, just a little. "Then all is well."

 

Clarke frowned heavily, but the heaviness in Lexa's eyes kept her quiet.

 

"Leave us, Indra."

 

"Yes, Commander." Indra said after a moment, turning quickly and then she left, still annoyed and still angry.

 

The air between Lexa and Clarke was thick and riddled with tension. Clarke not quite sure why what she had done was so bad, but knowing she was going to have to defend herself for it if only by the look in Lexa's eyes. They looked like she was trying to hold it all in. Rage, maybe. Annoyance, definitely. Disappointment perhaps too?

 

Clarke swallowed and took a faint step back.

 

"Are you not learning from your guards, Clarke?" Lexa asked quietly, her gaze unflinching. Her tone even. Firm. "As Dax told you?"

 

Clarke glared at her in return just as intently. There was nothing else she could do. "It wasn't right, Lexa."

 

Lexa snarled at her, a little, her lip turning up at its edge. If she was honest she knew something like this would happen, as much as she hoped it wouldn't. Clarke was too firey to just stand back. She was too lenient for their culture. Too soft, even.

 

She took another step toward Clarke, her voice remaining calm even though everything about her screamed otherwise. "It is not for you to decide what is right. A second answers to their first, no one else." She took another step, her eyes burning into Clarke as if they could rip her apart. "It is up to a first to teach a second in all matters-"

 

"-That wasn't teaching, Lexa."

 

"And what do you know of what happened?" Lexa turned away then, her hand flying into the air quite uncharacteristically. Her back was to Clarke and she moved away, not being able to glare at her any longer. "Were you witness to it all?"

 

Despite herself Clarke felt easier once there was some distance between them. She took in a quiet breath so Lexa wouldn't hear her relief. There was something to the Commander's annoyance that wasn't because of the scuffle outside, but Clarke was feeling the brunt of it in their exchange and it was scary, almost. In this moment Clarke knew she never wanted to feel the weight of Lexa's wrath.

 

Clarke swallowed warily. "No," she admitted, her fingers playing in her fists at her sides. "I reacted to what I saw."

 

Lexa rolled her eyes and pushed out an infuriated breath. There was a war coming and here she was chastising Clarke for such an insignificant thing. She looked at the ceiling. She couldn't let ignorance of their ways go without reprimand, though. "I lost count of how many times Anya pushed me to the ground for nothing at all." She turned back to Clarke, then. "It is our way."

 

Clarke scoffed as her hands found her hips, her teeth biting on her bottom lip. She thought back to when Anya shoved mud into her face and beat her black and blue. But they were enemies, then. Surely that was different.

 

Lexa stepped toward her again, but left enough space between them so the air wouldn't get heady or too intense. Or so she hoped. "Was Zeek at your side when this behaviour occurred?"

 

Her tone was softer Clarke noticed, but only marginally. "Yes."

 

Another step. "Did you seek his counsel, before you acted?"

 

Clarke just gazed into the empty space between them. She licked her lips. "No."

 

Lexa sighed and tried to ease the mounting tension she felt but didn't want. She relaxed her shoulders but when she spoke, it was through gritted teeth. "I did not venture into the sky, Clarke. Occupy a piece of your Ark with my people and attempt to enforce the ways of the ground onto those of the sky."

 

Clarke pushed out a shaky breath and kept her gaze just to the left of Lexa's head. She couldn't look at her. Not right then. Clarke couldn't help the anger she felt, as much as she wanted to. She couldn't help the frustration, nor the pain and when she saw the young grounder in trouble outside she couldn't help but react. She knew the ways of the Trikru were different to hers and she wanted to learn them. She respected them because she respected Lexa and she knew she should've just let Zeek hold her back but something inside her just snapped.

 

She took another breath, swallowed her pride and looked at Lexa. She met the Commander's gaze but all she felt was anger again. Like there was a ticking bomb inside her chest and it was only a matter of time before it went off. She hated herself for it, if she was honest. She hated the fury she felt that she just couldn't quell, the anger she still felt for Lexa who was only trying to help her. She hated the side of her that wanted to rampage, the side of her that couldn't forgive Lexa and let her just settle into her embrace and breakdown into her shoulder. She knew the Commander would allow it, as well, and that just made it worse.

 

"Your people are on my land," she heard Lexa say, after a few moments of silence. "Unhindered."

 

Clarke's gaze narrowed, then. Her expression scrunching up. "Unhindered?"

 

"Yes."

 

Clarke scoffed. "You tried to kill us."

 

Lexa tried to school her reaction as much as she could but it was hard. Clarke was so unpredictable at the moment, and right then Lexa didn't want to hear it. She was tiring of the push and pull, tiring of the back and forth. If Clarke needed a confrontation, Lexa was more than happy to give it to her, right then.

 

The Commander took a dominant step further toward Clarke. "Do I try now?" she forced. "Do I hunt them? Imprison them for their invasion?" Her eyes were like thunder now, all smouldering greys and deep dark greens. "Tell me, Clarke. Do I demand anything for each blade of grass they trample? The food they take from my forest? The water they drink and bathe in? You tell me, Clarke. Am I the one taking liberties?" Her voice was low, a barely muted growl. "The alliance is over, I owe them nothing."

 

Lexa turned her back again but Clarke was quick on her heels. "Well whose fault is that?" She knew Lexa was right, but she wasn't about to let her take an inch. Especially when she brought up the end of the alliance. "It could've been beneficial, a two way arrangement."

 

Lexa stopped walking and turned back around. The stony look on her face unchanged.

 

Clarke was right up in her personal space. "Goods, skills, technology," she reeled off. "Medicine. You're not the only one with things to offer."

 

Lexa knew this all too well. She still feared the Sky People's weapons and their technical capabilities. It was only a matter of time before they came up with weaponry such as what the mountain once held, and that's why she needed them onside. It was a main concern of the members of the coalition.

 

Her only response though was to glare at Clarke, her teeth bared. "I am not interested in what could have been, Clarke."

 

Clarke looked deeply into Lexa's eyes. She stared past the showmanship, past the bravado. Past the front Lexa was putting on for the sake of this argument and suddenly all she was aware of was her heavy heartbeat. The rush of her blood in her veins.

 

"So what are you interested in?" Clarke asked, her voice now just as low. Her gaze busy flicking between Lexa's eyes, the eyes that were searching hers just as intently in return.

 

Lexa felt the moment hit her like a thunder bolt, and she knew Clarke felt it too. It was in the rasp evident in her tone. The way her eyes dropped quickly to her lips. Lexa swallowed and she felt off balance, the heat of their conversation affecting her more than she thought it would. The weight of their words heavy on her chest. Clouding her mind. Right in that moment she felt very un-Commander like, very much like her emotions were controlling her and were telling her to do one thing.

 

Kiss her.

 

Lexa breathed out as her eyes in turn, fell to Clarke's lips and all she could focus on was the way in which they curved, just a little, as Clarke adjusted her footing and started to speak again.

 

"Why are my people still alive if that's how you feel?" Clarke's voice was raspy as her attention flitted between Lexa's eyes and lips and she was certain she saw something in the Commander, then. Something that looked an awful lot like weakness. The same weakness she saw when Lexa kissed her before, but as Clarke licked her lips the moment was just as swiftly gone.

 

Lexa stepped back and glanced down at the ground. Eagerly taking a moment to pull it all back together. Anya would call her foolish if she could see how she was behaving right then. Nothing like the Commander of twelve clans. Not at all like what was expected of her. Totally absurd that a girl from the sky could make her lose her composure in such a way. She pushed a breath out through her nose and then raised her head, squaring her jaw. Levelling out her gaze.

 

She looked at Clarke, at her lidded deep blue eyes and then she remembered. She remembered exactly why such a girl could knock her off guard. Every reason hitting her hard in the chest and engulfing her senses so it made her pause and swallow awkwardly. Each reason she knew she would be embarrassed to tell Anya. Embarrassed to tell anyone. Embarrassed to even feel in the first place. But feel them she did.

 

Lexa blinked several times before responding. "I am not a monster, Clarke." Her voice was softer now, calmer. "I do not look for war at every turn."

 

"So what then?" Clarke asked quickly, with a small shake of her head and that's how she found herself in _this_ conversation. Talking about the fate of her people. She supposed it was inevitable, and she swallowed back the idea of future wars, of future peace. Future whatever's that may be in store. Perhaps she wasn't meant to be out of it. Perhaps it was preposterous for her to imagine a lengthy time away from the politics of leading her people. Perhaps it was her destiny, after all. And maybe she shouldn't run from it. "What else is there?" she shrugged. "Another alliance?"

 

Lexa didn't drop her gaze. "Whatever it is," she responded quietly. "It isn't war."

 

Clarke scoffed again, but it was lighter this time and the corner of her mouth quirked up with it. "So it is another alliance."

 

Lexa allowed some silence to settle between them and then she raised her brow. "Perhaps."

 

Clarke sighed. "And you need me for that." It was a statement, not a question. A realisation.

 

Lexa became wary of where this conversation was going. It wasn't the time, she knew. There was still some distance to go until such a decision was to be made and she honestly didn't want to think about what she needed to do if Clarke refused to help. It made her a little stiffer, and her shoulders went back as if a switch had been flicked inside her.

 

Her expression became more neutral. More guarded, and her tone evened out. "I will do what is necessary to ensure the safety of my people, Clarke. I assume you would do the same for yours." Again, another statement.

 

Clarke stepped back as she sensed the change. "Yes," she responded flatly. "But I no longer lead my people."

 

Lexa breathed in deeply and felt it lift her chest, her hand gripping around the hilt of her dagger. She could see Clarke wasn't going to be amenable about this, and she saw little point in trying to force her into a decision when it was not yet due. She sighed, and let Clarke see her exasperation. "If I have to approach your council without you so be it." She walked over to her water canteen, then, definitely in need of some rehydration. She poured herself a cup. "If you believe that is the best way we can achieve peace."

 

Clarke rolled her eyes and brought her hand up to rub at her forehead now the Commander's back was to her again. She pushed her fingertips into her skin and let her mind spin, just a little. She knew Lexa approaching her mother about another alliance was definitely _not_ the best road to peace, and of course the Commander knew it as well. Clarke sighed, not being able to think about it now though, as there were far too many other things floating through her head.

 

She was certain Lexa was keeping something from her. Not maliciously though, but something nonetheless. Something that made her so agitated even before Clarke entered the tent. There was so much tension between them, built up so quickly and she was certain the Commander wanted to kiss her in the heat of it all but Clarke _really_ didn't want to think about how her body responded to _that_ prospect.

 

She didn't want to think about how it was _still_ responding. All Clarke could think about was how hot she was and how much she needed to get outside and into the fresh air.

 

"Heda," a voice came from outside the tent.

 

Lexa turned around and she was once again the picture of composure and Clarke hated her for it. She was hot and bothered and as frustrated as an encounter with Lexa was known to get her.

 

"Sha?" Lexa responded, her gaze not moving from Clarke.

 

Zeek walked in and nodded his head to his Commander. "Heda, Indra instructed me to escort Clarke to the festival." He seemed a little awkward, if anything. "It will begin soon."

 

Clarke was relieved. She had never been more pleased to be under guard.

 

There was a moment before Lexa spoke. "Good," she said, setting her cup down on the table behind her. "I assume there will not be another incident like before," she stated without hesitation.

 

"No, Heda," Zeek responded quickly, his chest puffing out and his eyes fixed on his leader. He knew he was in error for not guarding Clarke closely enough, and he knew his punishment would come for it.

 

Lexa just nodded and then she turned to Clarke. "Clarke?"

 

Clarke sighed. "No," she replied after a moment, and rather quietly.

 

"Good." Lexa said with a clench of her jaw. "Enjoy the celebration, Clarke," she finished, and then she turned her back on them both.

 

Clarke swallowed silently and looked at Zeek who beckoned for her to leave the tent. She did, and didn't look back.

 

**

 

Zeek followed Clarke out of Lexa's tent, his stride easily taking him to her side. She walked quickly amongst the midst of the preparations for the celebration, passed the bonfire that was ready to be lit, around the food stores and cooking stations and down passed the healers hut. She felt the cool air enter her lungs and she was thankful for it, taking in big gulps as she walked purposefully without direction, but away from the swarms of Trikru gathering together for the festivities.

 

Zeek said nothing. He just shadowed her as she moved with a slight limp that gradually became more visible the longer she walked. Her knees were infuriating her but she refused to stop moving. Finally though, she came to a halt, not altogether far from her tent but far enough away from the torches that they were almost in darkness.

 

"You were wrong to interfere," Zeek said quietly after he waited for Clarke to catch her breath.

 

She exhaled as she closed her eyes, her chest calming as her gasps became slighter, the fresh air of TonDC almost like a cleansing. She could smell wood smoke from every direction, and the faint scent of meat cooking with various spices and glazes. It was warming, and the people she had passed were excited for what was to come.

 

"I know," Clarke sighed, with a shake of her head.

 

"You question Heda," he carried on, after a few moments of silence.

 

Clarke didn't respond. She knew she was probably one of the few who did, probably one of the even fewer who could argue with her continually and Lexa would allow it. She opened her eyes and surveyed the darkness in front of her.

 

"Our ways have been there since the beginning," Zeek began, staring into the darkness as well for a moment. "Heda did not put them there; she is our protector. She enforces the ways of our people and she protects us. Things will not change because you do not understand," and then he turned to her. "Because you refuse to understand."

 

Clarke turned and expected to find Zeek standing behind her and to her left, but all she found was darkness. She frowned, her response getting lost in her throat. She frowned. "Zeek?"

 

He was suddenly on her right. "You must not test her."

 

Clarke jumped, just a little.

 

"You would not like her angry."

 

Clarke sighed, again. "I don't try to anger her."

 

Zeek just stared at her, not believing that for a second. It wasn't his place to have an opinion, though, but he did think Clarke was pushing it a bit. "She is different with you."

 

That made her stop. "Different?"

 

"Others have been killed for much less."

 

Clarke knitted her eyebrows together and turned to face her guard. She wondered what he knew of it. How would he know what they argued about? "And what is it to you?"

 

Zeek dipped his head. "You have earned much respect. I would not like to see you executed for disobeying Heda."

 

It took a moment but Clarke smiled a little, at that. She scratched the back of her neck. "Thanks for your concern but, I don't plan on getting executed." She stepped away from him.

 

Zeek frowned. "It would not be your decision. If Heda wants you dead, you are dead."

 

She smiled again. "I mean, I _do_ want to understand, Zeek. I want to learn. I respect the Commander very much."

 

"You do?"

 

"Of course. I want to know all about your culture." Clarke looked at him, again. "I will be more receptive. Maybe I can learn from you? About your ways? About Heda?" She couldn't be certain, because he was standing a few feet away and both of them were very subtly lit, but Clarke was sure he was smiling. "If you need to hold me back to stop me from doing something stupid, then please do."

 

"I am certain it won't come to that."

 

Clarke's breath hitched. She did know herself, after all. "Oh it might."

 

He stepped closer to her. "It would be my honour to teach you, Wanheda."

 

Clarke frowned, a bit confused. She had been called many things by members of the Trikru but it was the first time she'd heard that one. "Okay. I'm not sure I want to know what that means."

 

She thought about her conversation with Lexa and the prospect of another alliance. Her involvement in it, if she would be involved at all. She didn't want to think about it though, not yet. She wasn't ready, but she felt her desire to _get_ involved rumble a little, deep in the pit of her stomach. She shook her head quickly and pushed it back down. Right back down or as far as she could get it.

 

Zeek smiled, and Clarke saw it in the faint torch light. "It is a good thing."

 

"Hmm," Clarke considered. She still didn't want to know. The grounders idea of a good thing and hers were entirely different, after all. Well, mostly. She smiled.

 

"Come," Zeek said as he turned back toward the centre of camp. He held his arm out to her as a gesture for her to walk with him. He could smell the food and he was hungry, as he knew she must be too. He tilted his head toward the all too tempting smell. "Eat."

 

Clarke stepped toward him before she stopped short, for a moment. That command sounded familiar, to her. She looked at him curiously, right into his eyes as she carried on moving, now somewhat slower, however. She got to him and he turned his head away as they started walking, and at that moment it struck her, her brow rising in recognition.

 

"Huh," she uttered, her tongue sticking sharply into the side of her teeth.

 

"What?" Zeek asked, after a moment.

 

Clarke eyed him carefully. "You were my guard in the cell. The one who gave me food and drink?"

 

Zeek's pace slowed considerably, all thought of food quickly slipping from his mind. He looked at her, and her eyes were soft but inquisitive. His heart still sank a little, though, and he swallowed heavily. If this got out he'd be done for. He would already have to answer to Jael for allowing Clarke's indiscretion earlier. If he knew what he did for her in the cells too he'd be lucky just to receive a lashing. Worse if the Commander ordered it.

 

He puffed out his chest though, after a minute or two and accepted that his actions had consequences, and he would face them like the warrior he was. He nodded his head but remained quiet.

 

Clarke frowned, a little. "Why would you do that?" she asked softly.

 

Zeek stopped and glanced around, hoping no one would be hearing this conversation. Clarke was stood close to him so he looked down at her, their difference in height never more apparent. "The Mountain," he replied. "My brother walked free after our march to its gate."

 

Clarke cut her eyes away, looking down at the ground as her throat began to hurt. "Your Commander freed him," she responded a little hoarsely. "Not me."

 

Zeek looked at her with softer eyes as he shook his head. "My father was taken three summers ago. My uncle went to search for him with three others but none of them returned." He paused and waited for Clarke to return her gaze. "My little brother can grow and not fear the Mountain. Not fear the fog or the reapers. This is because of you, Clarke kom Skaikru."

 

Clarke looked away again and took a small step back as if that would help her escape the sentiment.

 

"I did not think you should suffer."

 

Clarke scoffed, shaking her head.

 

Zeek carried on regardless. "It was wrong to treat you that way."

 

Clarke raised an eyebrow. "Do you often disobey your Commander?"

 

Zeek stood off, at that. His back straightened and he was rudely reminded of the severity of what he had done. "No," he said flatly. "Never."

 

Clarke smirked at this young warrior who never disobeyed an order, apart from one where she was concerned, it appeared. She wondered if she should feel flattered, or something. She was certainly grateful, and definitely was at the time.

 

She noticed how nervous her guard was starting to look. "Don't worry," she said. "I won't mention anything about it." She started walking again, albeit slowly.

 

"I do not fear the consequences."

 

She rolled her eyes at the very familiar grounder stubbornness.

 

"I will tell Heda what I have done."

 

Clarke held out her hand in front of her, palm down. "There's no need. I'm thankful, really," she said as they walked, side by side. "I'm not going to tell anyone. Especially not the Commander."

 

He regarded her, as she refused to look at him. "I am thankful, too."

 

She stopped walking and sighed, really not wanting to talk about what she did at the Mountain, again.

 

Zeek stopped at her side. "All of us," he said, keeping his voice low as they were nearing the centre of camp. "You have saved us all from a lifetime in fear of the Mountain. We are in your debt."

 

Clarke wasn't comfortable with the way he was looking at her. It was something like awe. Something like utter respect and much more besides and it made her think of Indra, of her words when she was first captured. "Not everyone thinks so," she said quietly.

 

Zeek nodded. "Some are scared of you," he responded. "Some will not trust you."

 

"Like Jael."

 

There was a pause as a few people around them started hurrying and running in the same direction. Away from them and toward were everyone was now gathering for the start of the celebration.

 

"Yes," Zeek said, a little disappointed now he would have to wait for food.

 

They both turned their heads as there was a loud bang, followed by more bangs and then several horns.

 

Clarke looked about her quickly, a little startled but glad of the distraction from their conversation. "What's that?"

 

"The start of the celebration," Zeek smiled. He grasped her by her forearm and started pulling her. "Come."

 

It took them a while to reach the centre of camp. Clarke's knees were hurting and the bustle of people all clambering to get along to the same place was intense, to say the least. The mood of camp though was much more upbeat. Clarke had never seen so many grounders smiling. All of them excited and eager to get to where they were going.

 

As Clarke walked she passed so many food stands. So many fire pits with various meats roasting over them and so many tables full of drinks. There were people with instruments too and Clarke was impressed. The Commander certainly hadn't been lying, there would definitely be music. There were so many people with drums it was untrue, and as they neared the centre of camp it got harder and harder to weave through.

 

Finally Zeek turned abruptly and pulled her off quickly down an alley. Or rather, more quickly than she had been walking before.

 

"Zeek," Clarke gasped. "What are you doing?"

 

"This is a faster way," he said by way of an explanation, and Clarke just let herself be lead. She had been to parties on the Ark of course, but this was something else entirely. She thought if what Lexa told her was true, that this was nothing compared to what happened in Polis then she was certain she had to go there.

 

Despite herself Clarke couldn't help but smile. She felt better, sort of, and for the first time in what felt like a long time she felt a little bit excited and a little bit free.

 

Suddenly the rowdiness of the crowds she knew were still gathering just in front of the row of huts and stalls they were now walking behind shushed dramatically, and then she heard Lexa's voice. It made her look to the side even though her view was of course blocked. Lexa's voice was muffled, and she was speaking in Trigedasleng anyway but nevertheless Clarke wanted to hear it. She wanted to see the level of respect she knew Lexa would be commanding, just by her presence let alone by what she was saying.

 

Zeek upped his pace and the forced movement of Clarke's knees in response made her wince. "We are nearly there," he whispered, as if somehow his words would interrupt the speech.

 

"That's the Commander, right?" Clarke whispered back.

 

"Yes," Zeek replied, bringing them to a stop at a crossroads. He looked either way down each path.

 

"What is she saying?"

 

"She is announcing the start of the celebration." He seemed to stare down one path longer. "Wait here," he said, before running toward the sound of Lexa's voice.

 

Clarke had half a mind to follow but for the sake of her knees she thought she'd stay put. She heard Lexa's voice get a little louder, a little more domineering and then the crowd cheered for a moment before settling down again, Lexa's voice being heard once more.

 

This was one of the times she really wished she knew the language and she considered asking Zeek for lessons. Maybe she would, she thought. What would be the harm?

 

Zeek came running back down the path and Clarke wouldn't have believed it if she hadn't seen it with her own eyes. The man moved, but his feet made no sound as he ran. His boots hitting the ground complete with small puffs of dirt that flew up in his wake which clearly indicated the weight each step carried, but other than that nothing.

 

Clarke raised her eyebrows in surprise, her mouth dropping open ever so slightly. No wonder she never heard the damn guy each time he approached her.

 

He grabbed her wrist again. "Next path," he said, and then pulled her off again.

 

"Zeek you need to teach me that," she said as she entered the next alleyway after him. It was narrow and very dark so her hands went out to her sides, trailing her fingertips along the wood that lined either side of the path.

 

"Teach you?" Zeek asked over his shoulder.

 

"Yes. Walking without sound."

 

They came out of the alleyway only a few yards from where Lexa was giving her speech. She was on a high platform though and looking away from them, as were her guards as well as Indra and Dax so no one noticed when Zeek actually laughed at Clarke's request. The crowd roared again which drowned him out even more.

 

Clarke looked at him offended and then swatted him on the arm. "Hey!"

 

"Oh," Zeek said, stopping his laughter immediately. "You are serious."

 

Clarke tried to lean into his ear but he was much too tall so he leaned down a little. "Of course I'm serious," she frowned. "Why wouldn't I be?"

 

Zeek coughed. "Sky People are clumsy with their feet," he said, quietening the end of his sentence as the crowd died down again. "You are easy to hear and to track."

 

Clarke still glared at him and he looked at her quite seriously as if this was a well known fact. Something easily accepted amongst the Trikru. "So, teach me," she whispered, and then she moved her eyes to Lexa as she began speaking again.

 

Zeek just smiled and conceded that if he was allowed to, then he would teach her.

 

"What is she saying?" Clarke asked again, a moment later.

 

Zeek listened for a few minutes before he began to translate. "Heda is thanking everyone for all they have done. For another successful summer, and for the triumph's we have seen as one people."

 

Clarke swallowed. No doubt she meant the fate of the Mountain, but she quickly pushed the thought from her mind. There was another cheer but it was short lived as Lexa held up her hand.

 

"There will be more challenges to come," Zeek went on. "But we will conquer each of them as we have done since the Coalition formed. Let us enjoy what summer has brought, and see that winter is kind to us all. Now we eat, drink and dance until sunrise."

 

Another cheer, much longer this time and Clarke couldn't help the chuckle that passed her lips. The Commander came down from the platform followed by her generals and her eyes immediately found Clarke, who was still standing with Zeek just to the side. Lexa paused momentarily before she walked over to them.

 

"Clarke," she greeted with a curt nod.

 

"Commander." There was still a smile tugging on Clarke's lips. Lexa was very much in regal mode, decked out in full battle dress and war paint. Clarke assumed she delivered all of her speeches in this way.

 

Lexa cast a glance over Clarke as she always did before she spoke. "I could not find you before my speech."

 

"No I uhh," Clarke hesitated as she thought about it. "My knees were hurting and it was difficult to get through all the people."

 

Immediately Lexa's eyes became concerned. They darted to Clarke's knees before they came back up again.

 

Clarke could see the change and she quickly backtracked. "Nothing serious," she hurried, "It's not that big of a deal." She coughed, a little bit. "I'm fine."

 

Something in the Commander's eyes seemed to relax at that, and there was a slight shift of her chin in response. "If you are certain."

 

"I am," Clarke reiterated, her lips forming a tight smile. She still didn't really know how to be around Lexa, especially when they were surrounded by her people even if they weren't paying them any attention. Even Zeek had turned away, casting his eyes over the crowds.

 

Drum beats had started up and horns were playing. There was rowdiness, but in a good way and the scent in the air was of honeyed meats, burning wood and fruity wines. There was laughter, which was the thing that stood out most of all and Clarke was eager to experience it.

 

"I want to see this festival," Clarke began again, smiling, when the Commander offered nothing back. "The food smells amazing."

 

"You will enjoy it, Clarke," Lexa said with the faintest hint of a smile in return. "I am sure of it."

 

Clarke lowered her voice so she was sure no one else would hear, the smile still on her face. "I thought you said there was no dancing?"

 

Lexa caught the playfulness in Clarke's tone but her expression hardly changed. All she allowed was for her jaw to relax a little, which she knew Clarke would notice. She assumed Zeek had provided a translation of her speech which she should have anticipated, really. "No, Clarke," Lexa said just as quietly. "I said there was dancing sometimes."

 

"Oh," Clarke nodded. "Dancing till sun up is sometimes?"

 

Lexa had to battle the smile from forming this time and Clarke thought it was cute as hell. Lexa looked like she wanted to say something more but instead she just glanced away, and when she looked back her expression was more passive.

 

"Enjoy the party, Clarke," she said, before breaking eye contact and turning to leave.

 

"You're not staying?"

 

Lexa turned and saw the disappointment etched across Clarke's face.

 

"I thought you liked to observe?"

 

Lexa nodded, then. "A matter I need to attend to. I will return when it is done."

 

"Right," Clarke responded, and then watched as Lexa walked away.

 

**

 

There was barely enough time for Clarke to be offended by Lexa walking away from her yet again. Not that she _would've_ been offended, or anything. She wasn't bothered, obviously. She could take the rebuff. What the Commander did was, what the Commander did. Clarke just didn't care.

 

Nope, not at all.

 

Before she knew it Zeek turned her around and was walking her into the crowds of people, all cheering and jeering, drinking and eating and shoving each other but apparently in a jovial way. Well, everyone was smiling anyway so Clarke _assumed_ it was in a jovial way. People were talking with each other, laughing, some even whispering when Clarke walked passed them but all she could do was smile at them, and to be fair most of them smiled back.

 

Clarke _really_ wished she knew what they were saying and again she found herself at a loss. Quite a big disadvantage really, when they could be saying anything at all.

 

Zeek stopped them at a food table. Something big and, pig like Clarke supposed was roasting on a spit a couple of feet away. It smelled delicious.

 

"Tu," Zeek said to the man in front of the spit. He then turned to Clarke. "This is my favourite," he smiled, waiting patiently for the server to cut the meat. "You will like it."

 

Clarke raised her eyebrows. "Well it smells amazing."

 

The server handed Zeek two chunks of meat sandwiched between what Clarke assumed was bread. It was thin though, and tough, but a good contrast to the juiciness of the meat and the flavours that just leaked out when Clarke's teeth sank into it. She closed her eyes and sighed as she savoured the taste, it was completely unlike anything she had ever tasted before.

 

For a moment Clarke thought she was in heaven.

 

Zeek started laughing at her. "See," he said. "It is good."

 

"Mmmmmmmm," Clarke mumbled around her mouthful, chewing the meat for much longer than necessary in order to enjoy every last ounce of it. Finally she swallowed. "It is."

 

Zeek started eating as well.

 

Clarke still couldn't get over it. "Why does it taste so good?"

 

The server started saying something to Zeek, a smile on his face though and Zeek was eager to reply. Clarke just phased out and concentrated on her food.

 

"This is Otto." Zeek said after a few moments. "He says he is happy he made you smile."

 

Clarke smiled a bit wider then, wiping at the corner of her mouth with her knuckle. "Tell him he can make me smile with this food every day."

 

Zeek translated for her and Otto laughed, if anything looking both proud and slightly embarrassed.

 

Zeek just smiled at it all, taking in Otto's reply. "He says find him and he will make you any food you wish."

 

Clarke was a little surprised more than anything at the offer, but she took it graciously nonetheless. "I will," she responded when she found her voice. She looked at Otto, then. "Mochof."

 

Otto seemed to light up at her words and Zeek said something to him in Trigedasleng that made him squirm a little, before he turned and started handing food to the grounders surrounding his table. Zeek laughed and walked to the other side of Clarke, motioning for them both to leave Otto to his task.

 

"What did you say to him?" Clarke asked, curious.

 

"Nothing," Zeek replied quickly, a grin still occupying his face.

 

Clarke just glared at him as they stopped walking. "Okay, so what is it?"

 

Zeek stopped too and turned to her, swallowing down the last of his food.

 

"Not long ago you would barely say two words to me. Now we're laughing and joking?" She shrugged, more than confused. "What's changed?"

 

Zeek gestured around him. "It is the festival."

 

Clarke just raised her brow indicating that explained nothing at all.

 

"It is fun." Zeek tried to explain further. "We are to have fun."

 

It dawned on Clarke, then. "Ohhh," she sighed. "The Commander told you to show me a good time, is that it?"

 

Zeek frowned and shook his head. "No," he answered quickly. "No. This music," he went on, "this food. This..." he trailed off as he pointed at a few grounders off to their side who were moving around a little erratically, stamping their feet and moving their arms.

 

"Dancing?" Clarke tried.

 

"Yes," Zeek said, a look of confusion still about him though as all he could do was assume that was the right word. "It happens once a year." He stepped closer to her, then. "You are here now, with us. You do what we do so," he gestured again in the space around him. "Enjoy."

 

Clarke nodded her head. "And tomorrow we go back to half sentences and me walking behind you?"

 

Zeek tilted his head and took a while to consider his answer. "Only if Jael is with us."

 

Clarke started to laugh, absolutely no idea if he was being serious or not. She looked around them after a moment, wondering where Jael was. He was usually lurking somewhere, watching.

 

She frowned. "Where is Jael?"

 

"He is with the generals."

 

"And Lexa?"

 

Zeek looked at her.

 

She shook her head. "The Commander?"

 

He looked away and Clarke was certain she could see the tiniest of smiles cross his lips. "I do not know."

 

Clarke sighed. She had no idea why the grounders didn't ask questions. Why Zeek didn't. It was infuriating. She let them walk in silence for a few minutes more before she had to ask. "Something's going on, isn't it?"

 

The tiny smile was still there. "I do not know."

 

Clarke rolled her eyes. "You don't ask?" It was out before she could stop it and she didn't expect an answer. She looked out into the swarms of people all around them. Most of them drinking and the rest of them dancing. Or what she assumed was supposed to be dancing. She swallowed. "I think something is happening," she said quietly, more so to herself than to Zeek.

 

"It is not my place to ask questions," he said, eventually.

 

Clarke turned to him. "You don't think you should know?"

 

Zeek stopped and picked up two cups of what everyone else was drinking from a long wooden bench. He handed one to Clarke and shrugged. "If there is something to know Heda will tell us."

 

Clarke looked like she was about to protest but Zeek cut her off by tapping his cup against hers. "Drink," he said loudly, and then proceeded to down the contents of his cup.

 

Clarke just frowned at him and then at her cup having no idea what was inside. She sighed, a little tired, taking a healthy gulp of it and screwing her face up as it hit the back of her throat. She gasped. "Man that's strong."

 

"It is good," Zeek replied, banging his now empty cup down on the bench.

 

"Clarke!" Sienna yelled, Clarke hearing her before she saw her due to the crowds of people in front of her. Clarke squinted her eyes as she tried to seek her out.

 

After a few moments Sienna appeared, panting and a little red faced from her running. "I have been looking for you. Come," she sort of commanded, holding onto Clarke's forearm. "There is a game I want you to play."

 

She started pulling Clarke away from Zeek but she was kind of reluctant to go. "What game?" she asked, casting a quick glance back in Zeek's direction. He was no help though, just shrugging as he grabbed another drink.

 

"You will like it," was all Sienna could say, weaving her way through the crowd as Clarke was now moving a lot easier.

 

Clarke smiled. "Okay, I might need more information than that."

 

"It is a hunting game."

 

Clarke started moving slower again. Her face screwing up at the idea of having to hunt. "Ermm, Sienna..."

 

Sienna rolled her eyes as she squared on Clarke. "Do not worry. You are there for strategy."

 

Clarke raised her brow. "Strategy?"

 

Sienna grabbed her arm again and started pulling. "Yes. Distraction. Many of the hunters think you are beautiful. Their attention will be on you, not the game."

 

Clarke stopped dead, her face all kinds of contorted. "What?"

 

Sienna just grinned. "See? Good strategy. Come, we are nearly there."

 

Clarke was a little baffled and overwhelmed by the statement. Nor actually, did she believe it. "You're joking, right?"

 

Sienna shook her head. "No. No joke. Dash leads the other team. His face will go hot when he sees you."

 

Clarke really wasn't sure about this. She was starting to feel embarrassed if that was indeed true, but as Sienna pulled her through another large group of people she saw Lexa, stood casually over on the other side of the path. Beyond the food tables and the series of small fire pits. She was observing, her eyes intent as they took in all that was in front of her. Indra was stood on her left, leaning into her Commander as she spoke in her ear.

 

It seemed to Clarke then, as she resisted Sienna's pulling that perhaps Lexa was avoiding her. Purposefully staying out of her way. Maybe wanting Clarke to enjoy the festival without her influence. It wasn't the first time Clarke had felt it though; Lexa's absence. Perhaps it was on purpose, or perhaps something was happening that Clarke had no knowledge of. Regardless, Lexa wasn't seeking her out at the moment so Clarke let Sienna pull her away. Down another path and around a corner and then they stopped. Sienna finally succeeding in getting Clarke to her destination.

 

They stood side by side, confronted by two teams of hunters and indeed as soon as they arrived some of them immediately looked at the ground. Some glanced at the sky and turned away awkwardly, and some fidgeted which was most unbecoming of a pack of brave hunters.

 

Clarke felt uncomfortable but Sienna just grinned, her plan working perfectly.

 

Sienna nudged Clarke in the ribs, coming up on her toes so she could whisper in Clarke's ear. "See," and she nodded in the direction of whom Clarke could only assume was Dash. A strapping, broad young warrior whose face did indeed all of a sudden seem rather hot. "He is already intimidated."

 

Clarke coughed and scanned the area for the nearest table of drinks. The sight of one in the far corner making her feel a little easier. "He's not the only one," she mumbled, making Sienna grin all the more.

 

This was going to be very interesting.

 

**

 

Clarke found Lexa sat half way up the hill to her tent. Not along the main walkway but further over, where the torchlight only just illuminated her, and where she could observe her people who drank and danced and sang just below.

 

The party was in full swing now, a more evident smile on the Commander's lips and when Clarke sat to her right she didn't turn to acknowledge her, even though she knew she was there.

 

"So this is the observing?" Clarke asked as she too watched over the people below. She was full from all the food she could possibly eat and a little tired from the dancing imposed on her by various villagers she had never spoken to before, let alone felt she knew well enough to actually _be_ dancing with. She just went with it though as it wasn't entirely unwelcome. Secretly she was also hiding from Sienna and her never ending string of games. It appeared the young warrior was very competitive and had a source of energy that put Clarke to shame. Putting her in a group of other young warriors and it was torturous plus Clarke felt Dash had been suitably embarrassed by Sienna's constant teasing to last a lifetime.

 

Lexa's eyes were still covered in war paint however her shoulder guard was missing, as was the rest of her armour that covered her chest. Her long coat was unusually open revealing the simple black top she wore underneath and again she was mostly weapon less, aside from the dagger Clarke could see at her hip.

 

"Yes," Lexa responded, her voice laced with a lot more warmth than before and it made Clarke wonder how long she had been sat there, just watching. Taking in the sight of her people rejoicing; laughing and playing rather than readying for war or rebuilding after the missile strike.

 

Clarke didn't exactly turn to the Commander but she examined her out of the corner of her eye. She looked softer in the low light, her eyes shining as it flickered. As the shadows danced across her face. She seemed less irritated. Unguarded. Or at least not as guarded as usual.

 

Clarke followed Lexa's line of sight, her legs bent at the knee up in front of her and her arms gently hugging them. She bit on her bottom lip, thinking about her earlier conversation when Zeek told her about his brother. "You ordered Zeek as my guard on purpose, didn't you?"

 

Lexa didn't respond. She just took in a breath through her nose and brought her chin up a little.

 

Clarke looked at her hands. "Someone who lost so much to the Mountain."

 

There were so many of her people who had suffered the same losses as Zeek. So many of her people she had lost and had failed to keep safe. She knew Zeek would be good for Clarke to be around. He was young and curious. More open to the changes of the world than her older warriors. She had been pleased when Dax assigned him to her.

 

"It helps," Lexa started, her voice quiet. Soothing as it carried on the wind. "To see the outcome of your actions. The good. Even when the method is sometimes.. not." She licked her lips, then, and angled her head so she could regard both Clarke and her people. "They live. They are happy. They play with their children. It is enough."

 

Clarke looked at her. "Is it?" she enquired softly.

 

Lexa thought about it, even though it didn't take much consideration. Her people were not only her purpose, they were all she had. All she lived for. Her face was stoic as she answered. "Yes."

 

Clarke tried to reconcile that in her head. She didn't think she could ever be as selfless as Lexa was. Or tried to be. She thought she would always crave another. For their lips and their touch. Their arms and the comfort they provided. Clarke suspected that was something everyone would need, in _this_ place.

 

She just smiled though, and returned her gaze to Lexa's people. "It's a good job you've got a lot of them, then," she said, all of them still bustling at the foot of the hill and as far as the eye could see. Disappearing out and into the darkness.

 

Lexa turned to Clarke. "So do you," she said. "Your people are many, too."

 

Clarke swallowed and breathed in deeply, her back straightening as the air hit her lungs. Her eyes glossed over as she thought of them. Of Camp Jaha and she let herself wonder properly, for the first time since being here how they might be. Raven especially. Octavia. Bellamy. Her mother. She blinked harshly a few times, still not knowing whether or not she would see the dead people of the Mountain when she looked each of them in the eye. That the images wouldn't flash through her head as soon as she approached the camp's gates.

 

It made her shudder.

 

"Yeah," Clarke gasped, a little. And then she nodded, her forehead frowning. "I know."

 

Lexa got the message and didn't press the issue. There would be a time for that, she knew. Instead she thought she would change the subject. She put on a smile, the biggest one she had awarded Clarke yet. "Are you enjoying the celebration, Clarke?"

 

After a moment Clarke chuckled, raising her brow as she dipped her head and scratched above her eyebrow with the side of her thumb. "I am," she replied, appreciating what the Commander was doing. "It's very surprising."

 

Lexa let herself grin, then. "We do know how to have fun, Clarke."

 

"I know," Clarke grinned in return. "I just," and then she shook her head. "I don't know." She ran a hand through her hair. "Well I'm just very glad I'm here for it."

 

The comment sparked something inside Lexa and she felt her chest go warm. The sheer look of happiness on Clarke's face in that moment was one she thought she would never tire of seeing. One she would never stop trying to recreate but then she cast her eyes to the ground ahead of them. Lexa knew it was more than what she could hope to provide for Clarke. She sighed and then looked back out over her people.

 

Clarke cleared her throat, a little, and thought she'd capitalise on the fact she had enjoyed a couple of cups of wine. Or something close to wine, at least. "So, does that go for you too?"

 

Lexa felt that sinking feeling in her gut she usually experienced whenever she thought she heard playfulness in Clarke's tone. She raised an eyebrow and kept her face impassive, glancing back at her carefully.

 

"Do you know how to have fun, too?" and Clarke's lips turned up into a small smirk when she saw Lexa blink hurriedly a few times, obviously trying to process an appropriate response. "Or is that not for Commanders either?"

 

Lexa fixed Clarke with her gaze, knowing very well when she was being mocked. It happened so little after all, and only by attractive young leaders who fell from the sky. She tightened her expression. "You think that I cannot?"

 

And just as much in return Clarke knew when Lexa was teasing. She laughed and her chest actually shook a little with it. "No," Clarke replied, leaning into Lexa but stopping short of touching her. "I think that you _would_ not."

 

Clarke was rewarded by both of the Commanders eyebrows jumping up. She turned back to her people, defiant. "Then perhaps you do not know me as well as you think."

 

Clarke just looked at her, staring into Lexa's profile and it was a while before she saw the slightest of smiles forming on Lexa's lips. Clarke bit on the inside of her cheek. "So maybe you should show me," she said finally, pushing herself up from the ground.

 

Lexa glanced up at her.

 

Clarke dusted her palms off against her thighs. "The Commander's kind of fun."

 

Lexa looked at her pointedly. "I do not think you are ready for it," she sighed, getting up too and the comment completely surprised Clarke. She looked at her agape but Lexa's face remained as always, rather expressionless. "This way," Lexa said, as she started down the hill.

 

**

 

They walked for what felt like an age and although Clarke could feel the pain in her knees, somewhat masked by the alcohol she had consumed she carried on by Lexa's side.

 

She watched with enthusiasm as the Commander interacted with her people. As she laughed with her senior warriors, huddled in small groups sharing impossible battle stories. Lexa looked amazingly at ease, a certain freedom she was allowing for herself in these candid moments. It was refreshing but Clarke knew it was the occasion, that the Commander would likely lock this side of her away again once the festival was over.

 

For the most part Clarke had no idea what most of the warriors were saying. She smiled though, nonetheless, the atmosphere impossible to ignore. Dax arrived after a while, a serious look he shared with Lexa before he slipped easily into the banter and storytelling. Clarke briefly wondered what had wordlessly passed between them but the Commander seemed to just as easily disregard it as soon as she interpreted its meaning.

 

Clarke caught herself staring at the Commander, caught herself smiling at the ease in her expression. At the excitement in which she shared stories and joined in with the dominant displays of who fought better, of who was both fastest and strongest in some battle or other. At least that was as much of the conversation as Clarke could make out. She picked up some words here and there, and by the gesturing and grunting Clarke could tell they were talking about battle. Dax though, when he appeared and stood next to her started translating more and more for her.

 

"You are enjoying the celebration?" he asked her, after some spontaneous laughter died down.

 

"Yes," Clarke grinned, not being able to help herself. Watching as the Commander got caught up in another enthusiastic conversation with the warriors on either side of her.

 

Dax noticed Clarke staring but chose not to comment on it.

 

"Is she often like this?" Clarke asked, already knowing the answer but finding the question left her lips rather of its own accord.

 

Dax looked as well at his Commander. "Recently it has been rare," he answered carefully. "In war it is hard. Her mind is on other things." He turned to Clarke, then, gaining her attention. "But she likes to speak with her people. She likes to know them."

 

Clarke nodded as she thought about it. "I always kind of thought she would keep at a distance." She frowned, not quite knowing where that belief came from. It was just what she assumed, she supposed. "Separate," she finished, without needing to.

 

"The Commander _is_ her people," Dax responded, just as flatly as Lexa did when she spoke of her obligation to her people. As if they were lines out of a training handbook or something. Dax stopped himself though, as if he suddenly realised that himself. "But there is a difference," he said, in even more of a hushed tone than before. "She is like this when the situation allows it, but not otherwise." He looked back at the Commander. "Gustus always said to lead well you should not know what you may have to sacrifice."

 

Clarke felt her heart sink and a lump form heavily in her throat. The smile slipped from her face and her mood drastically shifted. She felt bad, instantly, and not just for how isolating and lonely a life Lexa must know, if indeed that was how she lived but because of the sorrow present in Dax's voice as he said those words. He lost his first, Lexa a trusted general, someone she must have known inside out and it was all because of the alliance. All because Gustus tried to protect Lexa from it. From _her_.

 

Clarke cleared her throat, a certain unease rocking through her. She looked to the ground and shifted from foot to foot, a hand finding the back of her neck and pinching at the skin there.

 

"Clarke," Lexa's voice floated to her over the din. Dax moved away and Clarke's chest lifted a little, but not by much at all. She looked up to find Lexa only a few feet from her staring at her purposefully. She looked like she was going to say something but managed to hold it in and after a few moments she said something else entirely. "Walk with me."

 

Clarke just swallowed and nodded, trying to rid her chest of the heaviness that was trying to suffocate her. She fell easily into step with Lexa and after only a few yards they were away from the groups of warriors and heading deeper into camp.

 

"What is wrong?" Lexa asked after a long silence. The air between them wasn't awkward and Lexa was comfortable enough to walk with her hands clasped behind her back rather than with one hand poised on the hilt of her dagger.

 

"Nothing," Clarke sighed, looking up to the sky. It was clear and filled with stars that sparkled back down on her.

 

Lexa just raised her chin a little in acknowledgement even though she didn't believe her. They carried on walking, greeting the many people they passed with either a simple nod or occasionally Lexa would stop to engage in conversation. Lexa would try as best she could to involve Clarke in whatever the subject was, and often the Commander's chest would puff out whenever she mentioned the Skaiheda.

 

Clarke found it charming the first time she did it, and her smile she had to really try to hold back from bursting across her face. As more time passed Dax's comment slipped from its prominent place at the forefront of her mind even though Clarke knew it would resurface soon enough. It was easy though, to get lost in the Commander's dialogue. To get swept up in the stunted conversations they had with the Trikru villagers. To answer questions about the sky from the more curious ones and to blush in the kind of shy way Lexa would translate a compliment about the colour of Clarke's hair. Eventually she lost count of how many times the Commander told her it was like the sun and even though the words hadn't originated with her, it was nice all the same.

 

Finally the stopping and the conversations died down. The people who wanted to engage with Clarke it seemed dwindled and the few that passed them only acknowledged Lexa with a curt, "Heda," before they carried on to wherever they were going. Clarke didn't mind though. She knew everyone needed time, just like she did.

 

"Commander," Clarke started, after another period of easy silence. She was still wary of addressing Lexa in the right way within earshot of her people even though it had been a while since they had moved away from the crowds, lingering now as they were along the edge of the firelight. Clarke felt easier, her chest no longer heavy and the smile she noticed refusing to leave her lips. She pulled it to the side in a tight smirk. "Forgive me, but if this is the height of Trikru fun then," and then she raised her eyebrows, "I really need to show you mine."

 

Lexa turned her head to Clarke, her hands still clasped behind her back as they had been for most of their walk. Clarke was smiling, thick and full at her comment and Lexa allowed her lips to turn up as well, a shade on the side of affection. "I said you were not ready," she responded steadily, her voice low and calm.

 

Clarke smiled up at the evening sky and suppressed her laugh. _Of course_ , she thought, catching the look in Lexa's eyes and it made her wonder how she would be if she wasn't the Commander. If she didn't _need_ to be this imposing force who brought peace to her lands. Lexa _was_ her people after all. She _was_ the coalition and she carried the weight of this world on her shoulders pretty much singlehandedly. Clarke didn't think she could be much older than her, really, and what a thing to have achieved. Twenty-three-ish Clarke would guess. Definitely no older than twenty-five.

 

Lexa looked back out ahead of her when Clarke offered nothing further, and it brought Clarke's thoughts back to this moment. She stared at Lexa's profile for a moment. She seemed calm and unworried, and Clarke wondered that if their roles were reversed, whether she would have the same level of composure given that the fate of twelve clans was largely up to her.

 

Clarke looked at the ground beneath her feet, a seriousness seeming to come out of nowhere. "Something is happening, isn't it?"

 

Lexa blinked and her pace slowed to an almost stop. She too regarded the ground but several paces ahead of her. She sighed, confident that they were far enough away from listening ears and that no one was lurking in the tree line around them. They were very much alone, and Lexa was very much aware of it. She kept her voice quiet though, nonetheless.

 

"This is the ground, Clarke. There is always something happening."

 

Clarke slowed her pace to match the Commander's so they practically weren't walking at all, as if Lexa's desire to continue forwards had ceased and she expected the conversation to do so in its place. Clarke found herself once more staring ahead into the darkness. "But this is something big." She said as she turned to Lexa. "Something that might change things?"

 

Lexa lifted her chin, her fingers now playing together at the base of her back. Her demeanour was still relaxed and her expression as passive as ever. She considered telling Clarke everything. Of everything that might be but then of course of everything that might not be, as well. At the moment nothing was for certain. Just whispers and probabilities but then Lexa knew her enemy, as much as she wished she did not. She knew the chances of an attack and she knew they were high but at the same time, she knew Clarke was still healing and she wouldn't deny her as many days more of that as she could give her.

 

Lexa turned to face her; it was just something else Clarke was not yet ready for. She sucked in a deep breath. "Nothing is happening, yet," she said flatly. "So there is no need for you to worry."

 

Clarke licked her lips, not really feeling any better at that. "But something will?"

 

Lexa nodded minutely, after a moment. "I will tell you all you need to know, Clarke, when you need to know it."

 

For some reason Clarke believed that. She believed her, and it surprised her quite a bit. It was odd but in this moment, she wanted to crawl inside the protection Lexa was offering her and stay there for as long as she possibly could. "Promise me."

 

Lexa thought about asking Clarke whether or not she trusted her, but then she thought better of it. "I promise."

 

They started walking again, prompted by Lexa's boots rather than Clarke's stinging knees. It was slow though, once more, as if Lexa knew Clarke would be hurting.

 

"Tell me about the Coalition."

 

Lexa sighed, again. She regarded Clarke as they kept walking, her eyes wide and sincere. "You wish to know this now?"

 

"It's a long walk back to the fire pit."

 

Lexa nodded slowly. It was indeed a long walk, especially at their gentle pace. "Yes," she responded, her attention falling on the path ahead. "It is."

 

Clarke was curious, and she had a sudden desire to know. "Do the clans all fall behind you, as easy as that?"

 

Lexa raised her brow, reluctant to talk about politics but she supposed it indicated that Clarke was thinking about such things. Thinking about the future and how their clans could perhaps fit together, and that was definitely something Lexa needed her thinking about. So she relented, now being as good a time as any other.

 

"No, not as easy as that. But they do. That is what the Coalition is."

 

Clarke's brow knitted together, her hands moving idly at her sides as she walked. She needed to know this. To understand how it worked and she was curious, more than anything, how Lexa held it all together. "You said you want peace with my people. Would we have to be a part of the Coalition to achieve that?"

 

Lexa looked sideways at her, seeing easily how Clarke was trying to process it all behind her eyes. Lexa breathed calmly, not wanting the conversation to gain any heat. "Yes," she responded simply.

 

Clarke sighed and looked ahead, biting on her bottom lip as she did. She wasn't sure how that would happen if she was honest. In fact at the moment it practically seemed impossible. Assuming that her people hadn't suddenly forgiven Lexa, of course. But then she knew her people could hold a grudge, her mother especially.

 

Clarke shook her head. "And so my people would fall behind you?"

 

Lexa raised her chin. "As Commander of the Coalition, yes."

 

"I really can't see the council agreeing to that." She glanced again at Lexa. "You telling us how to live."

 

Lexa regarded her, too. "Each of the clans have their own leader, Clarke. They live how they live, they govern themselves. The Coalition ensures peace between the clans. Safe passage between them, trading of resources. Skills, medicine, food. Knowledge. Our people are safe to move between villages, to live at another if they wish. I do not tell them how to live. I am not involved in that."

 

Clarke nodded, starting to understand. "So what are you involved in?"

 

Lexa considered for a moment how to sum it up. If indeed she could. She tilted her head a little to the side. "I ensure there is peace. In Polis the leaders and I meet to discuss trade, boundaries, any squabbles there may be."

 

"And you sort them out?"

 

Lexa's expression smiled although her lips did not. "They are resolved as no one wants war. This works for us all." She straightened as her chest expanded with air. "Detection of threats are also discussed. Any clan threatened has the army of all the others."

 

Clarke frowned. "And who decides that?"

 

Lexa raised a brow. "It is given. One clan will be supported by the others."

 

Clarke stopped walking. "But is it discussed, the prospect of going to war? Who decides if that'll happen?"

 

"As Commander I make the final decision. In all things."

 

Clarke was sceptical of that, of each clan leader just blindly following Lexa into war. No objections and no arguing. Her expression screamed it, too.

 

This time Lexa's lips did curl up. "You think me brutal in my decision making? I listen to my leaders. I make choices that will appease the majority." She became much more serious, then. Her eyes growing intense, the hard line of her jaw clenching. "I forged the Coalition at great cost. I am diligent in how I preserve it."

 

Clarke nodded. It was what she expected, after all. The ground worked differently to how the Ark was lead. Lexa had the final say, and that was that. She just couldn't see the council buying into it. Least of all her mother. She had to play devil's advocate. She swallowed a little uneasily. "And what if the council won't agree to that?"

 

Clarke asked it quietly, as if she didn't want to be saying the words and Lexa picked up on it. She knew at heart Clarke lead her people. In her mind Clarke was the _only_ leader of the Skaikru but she knew their politics were different. Ultimately she knew the decision wasn't Clarke's, and therein lay the problem.

 

Lexa looked at Clarke softly, her eyes once more unguarded and just as captivating as Clarke had seen them a few times, now. It always made Clarke's chest ache, just a little. "They must," Lexa said quietly but firmly. "If they desire peace."

 

Lexa saw a range of emotions flickering across Clarke's face. They were all conflicting, and all met with a hindrance Lexa knew she had put there. If she hadn't broken the alliance the whole thing would be so much easier. The council perhaps would be more receptive to such a prospect, and Clarke wouldn't be in this position at all.

 

However as it stood she was, and Lexa refused to waste time on what might have been. She didn't want this conversation to go any further. She still held the upper hand, she still had Clarke, and whatever she had to do should the council refuse she didn't need to think about right then.

 

Lexa swallowed and carried on walking, Clarke once more falling into step beside her. They were both silent, both pondering what the future held when Sienna came over to them and Lexa was happy for the distraction.

 

After greeting her Commander appropriately and with a little flushing to her cheeks Sienna was pulling Clarke away again, eager to show her something and Lexa allowed it, a slight smile forming on her lips as she thought the young warrior might be the best way to get Clarke's mind on something else.

 

Clarke glanced at Lexa as she followed Sienna, or rather was dragged toward the fire pit and a group of other young warriors. More than likely Sienna's peers and sure enough, Dash was there too. Lexa knew Clarke was conflicted, massively so. She still wasn't past the events at the Mountain. Of Lexa's betrayal and Lexa knew the conversation would come. The outburst, the flare of emotion that Clarke needed to get out. She was ready for it, she knew, and she welcomed it. They needed to move forward after all, and she needed Clarke with her, rather than against her.

 

Lexa sighed, watching as Sienna tried to talk Clarke into a drinking game, or so it seemed. A frown gradually crept across her forehead and she set her shoulders back, her jaw line level as she thought of her upcoming trip to Polis, of the possible descent within her Coalition and she felt the frustration creep into her chest again. She felt her hatred for the Ice Nation, or rather for its leader and all the chaos the Queen could cause to Lexa's carefully constructed peace, now under such threat even with the Mountain defeated and Lexa felt disappointment. Anger. Irritation. _Rage_. It bubbled, but Lexa knew she would _not_ be defeated, she would not let everything crumble and she clenched her teeth at the prospect. This time the Queen would not know what hit her.

 

Lexa turned quickly and headed back toward her tent.

 

**

 

"You know," Clarke began as she entered Lexa's tent, watching as the Commander moved around idly toward the back. Her body steeped in darkness. "Sometimes it feels like all you do is turn your back on me."

 

Lexa sighed. She could hear the smirk in Clarke's tone and she knew she'd probably had more than her fair share of wine. It had been a while since she'd left Clarke with Sienna and Lexa had spent the time thinking over strategy. Looking over maps and weighing up the size of possible armies.

 

She took the few short steps to her war table and leaned her weight on her palms against the solid oak surface. The playfulness evident in Clarke's voice as was the flash of it in her eyes but it didn't make up for the cut of her words. The implication of them. Honestly Lexa was a little tired of how it was being held against her. Clarke should understand. In fact Lexa knew she _did_ understand, but still she felt the need to torment her with it.

 

The evening was weighing heavy on her though. The day had been long and all Lexa wanted to do was sleep. "I think it should be you to leave this time, Clarke," she said quietly, her palms still on the table and her head turned to the side. "Go back to the music. Such occasions are rare among my people."

 

Clarke smiled, the alcohol making her confident. She took several steps further into the tent, the outline of the Commander in the candle light making her glow. Making her edges appear softer than they were. "Well, unlike you, Lexa, I don't feel like leaving you behind."

 

She meant it lightly, as in if they could laugh about it then maybe it wouldn't hurt as much but Clarke saw Lexa's shoulders slump, a little. Her head dipping forwards as she focused her attention on the tabletop. She sighed heavily, and Clarke could hear it across the tent.

 

"I'm sorry," Clarke said almost immediately, regretting her words as soon as they passed her lips. She didn't want to lose the easiness between them from their time at the party. She felt close to the Commander, closer than they'd ever been but of course, there was still something. There was still _this_ , the thing Clarke was having trouble letting go of.

 

Lexa looked up and Clarke could see she was thinking the exact same thing. She was harder all of a sudden. Her posture; her face. Everything. "No," Lexa said flatly. "You are not."

 

Clarke licked her lips, suddenly very sober. Suddenly frighteningly alert. "You're right," she said slowly. She really wasn't. "I'm not."

 

They stared at each other for a long moment, both unwilling to relent. Lexa forgot about sleep, forgot about how tired she was. This was it, she thought, there was no more time to be gentle and Lexa really didn't feel like being gentle anyway, not even in the least. She saw the resentment in Clarke's eyes and it was time to make her face it and honestly, Lexa was itching for a fight.

 

"There is something you wish to say, Clarke, then say it." Lexa said, stripping the annoyance from her tone although she felt it well enough. She started to remove the armour from her forearms, one piece at a time. "It is troubling you. You cannot move forward if your mind remains in the past."

 

Clarke rolled her eyes. "Not another lesson, Lexa," she sighed. "Please."

 

Lexa walked to the other side of her tent and placed her wrist guards on the table there. She fiddled with the belt around her waist and unstrapped her dagger, placing that on the table, too. "Is it not my wisdom you crave? My experience-"

 

Clarke craved more than that from Lexa, and that was the problem. Her desire to want to be near her, close to her and learn from her but hate her simultaneously was the very thing keeping her head in such a mess. Yet she couldn't pull herself away. She could leave TonDC she knew at any time. She wasn't a prisoner but the problem was she didn't _want_ to. She wasn't ready to face the world outside of Lexa's protection. Outside of Lexa's presence but there was a confrontation to be had before anything could move beyond this point, and Clarke felt it coming like a steam train.

 

"-Maybe I just want to hit you, Lexa," she hissed, "ever thought of that?"

 

Lexa swallowed calmly, and let Clarke continue.

 

Clarke took another step forward. "Kick you until you're bruised and battered." She emphasised each word with another small step. "Just like how you left me." She sized the Commander up, from head to toe. "Except my wounds refuse to heal," she whispered.

 

Lexa could see the raw emotion in Clarke's eyes but she wouldn't be so easily softened. She knew Clarke needed this, and she was more than happy to let her be angry. "You must let them."

 

 _If only it were that simple_ , Clarke thought, rather darkly. "How? You going to stand there and let me hit you?"

 

Lexa's face remained calm even though she felt anything but. Her lips showing the tiniest flicker at the corners. "That will not erase your pain-"

 

Clarke knew that and so she scoffed, cutting Lexa off. There were a few men she'd killed in vengeance which brought her absolutely no peace at all. "But it might make me feel better for a moment." She turned away.

 

Lexa watched as Clarke turned her back and instantly she felt the mood change. She watched as Clarke's frame seemed to collapse in, just a little, her shoulders losing their rugged edge. She became softer, and sad, as she approached the war table and pressed her palms into its edge, her head ducking forwards. It made Lexa swallow heavily but it was the only movement she made, the solemness in the atmosphere between them washing over her.

 

"You hurt me, Lexa," Clarke whispered, the words carrying across the distance between them and shattering against the Commander's eardrums. Lying heavily on her heart.

 

"I know," Lexa whispered in return, her anger disappearing as a large crater opened up in her chest.

 

Clarke turned her head in her direction but she kept her eyes downcast. Her hair falling forwards around her face. "When you walked away from me... When you..."

 

Lexa steeled herself, a little bit, readying herself for what was to come. She knew it was important, for Clarke to get this off her chest and for them to discuss the implications of the Mountain, both for the good of their relationship and for the future relationship of their people but it didn't mean she relished it. It didn't particularly mean she was ready for the emotions Clarke always stirred inside of her. So easily she was able to disarm the Commander. To strip her of her weapons and dismantle her walls, brick by brick. It was disconcerting, to say the least. There was only one other who was able to do such a thing and she was long since dead, because of _her_. Because she wasn't able to protect her. Lexa swallowed and it hurt, the emotion suddenly behind her eyes and making them sting.

 

"...I couldn't," Clarke continued, her words getting a little choked inside her throat. "I had no idea why..."

 

Lexa took in a breath. "It was becau-"

 

"-No I know why." Clarke closed her eyes. "I mean..." and then she sighed. "...Not a day before you were kissing me." She swallowed heavily, remembering. "I thought you cared."

 

Lexa clenched her jaw, frustrated. When would Clarke believe that she did care? She cared a whole lot more than she should and she had no idea how to make this skygirl believe that. "Clarke-"

 

Clarke turned to her, then. Her face pained and her blue eyes diluted. "You kissed me, Lexa. And then you left." Her voice was breathless now, barely even there at all. "I don't know how you could do that."

 

Lexa felt her throat go raw, the way it always did when she felt a build up of emotion. She had to blink a few times, too, the sting in them worsening by the second. She swallowed involuntarily and she felt her chest hitch. "It was the best thing for my people, Clarke."

 

Clarke looked down at the ground beneath her feet. "I know," she said quietly. Of course she did. Although she wished she didn't. She wished she was never in that position to begin with. "But it hurt," she carried on, the nail of her thumb scratching at the skin just above her eyebrow. "And then what I had to do... I needed you, and you were gone."

 

Lexa refused to feel bad for doing the best thing for her people. It was who she was. It was what she had to do. Take emotions out of it and there was no issue. Only the facts, and that was how the Commander had to live. Only there were emotions, weren't there? A lot of emotions where Clarke was concerned.

 

Lexa cut her eyes away and snarled internally at herself. "You can only rely on yourself in battle, Clarke-"

 

"-Bullshit," Clarke retaliated, her attention snapping quickly to Lexa's face. She found the trembling vulnerability retreating from the Commander's expression and it angered Clarke, or upset her. Angered _and_ upset her. She wanted Lexa to feel this just as much as she was. "Is that what you tell the leaders of the other clans?"

 

Lexa glared at her. Her facade not nearly as strong as it usually was, however. "That is different."

 

"Why?" Clarke took a step into Lexa's personal space.

 

Lexa spoke through clenched teeth, watching Clarke closely. "They are members of the Coalition."

 

"Oh so when you kiss them before battle you mean it?"

 

Lexa closed her eyes, feeling that one bitterly in her chest. "Nou mou, Klark!" she huffed, bordering on livid, not bothering with a translation. She turned away, tensing every muscle in her body in order to keep her impulse under control. Clarke was provoking her, she was sure of it and she couldn't keep it calm any longer. She couldn't stand that Clarke thought these things of her. Could say these words and actually _think_ they were the truth. It hurt, and as much as she didn't want it to show it did nonetheless. In her anger, in her gestures and absolutely all over her face.

 

Lexa felt the frustration boil quickly, nothing she was saying having any effect whatsoever. The annoyance hit her. The reactions she assumed Clarke was trying to pull from her and she despised the fact she was letting it all out but so be it. She was human, after all. She wasn't stone, as much as she tried to be.

 

She spun with a force spurned on by a fire in her gut she hadn't felt for an eternity. There was a thumping in her head and a pounding in her chest. "My affection for you is true," she spat, her eyes opening to find Clarke just as pent up as she was. Just as emotional and just as hot-headed. Glaring at her with just as much longing as there was anger. "Even as you stare at me with hate in your eyes." Lexa let her anger show, then, and she stepped forward hastily. "You think it did not hurt me, to leave you there? To think of you facing that alone? Do you think I did not want to fight at your side? Defend you? Save your people?" Her eyes were wild, but as adamant and earnest as Clarke had ever seen them. "But I could not."

 

Lexa's shoulders relented a little as she pushed out a breath to try and even out her chest. It was pointless though, as much of a victim she felt to her emotions she was feeling the same at her own words, and they sparked the foreign reactions her body was having to this confrontation. To the way Clarke was looking at her right now. As if _finally_ she was beginning to understand.

 

"My command over this Coalition and its people, _my_ people, Clarke, is my purpose. It is everything I am." Her tone was a little softer, though each word was just as heated. Just as loaded. She gestured to the ground at her feet. "I could not betray that when my people were freed, as much as I craved to do so." There it was. Out in the open and hovering between them, Lexa's desire to do the exact opposite to what her title required. A confession she knew Clarke wanted to hear but even though it was true it hurt her to admit. She _was_ the Coalition. She _was_ the embodiment of her people yet she was _still_ a person, with selfish needs. She looked at Clarke, met her gaze and peered right into her, her skin flushing with heat as she did. _Very_ selfish needs.

 

Lexa licked her lips, her voice suddenly much lower. "My wants and desires must come last. My people must _always_ come first. I would not undo that decision, Clarke, as much as it pained me to make it."

 

Clarke's heart lurched. She went to take a step forward but she stopped herself. It was difficult for her to accept both truths and her mind raced with it. She supposed, really, the alcohol didn't help. Nor was the way Lexa was looking at her. Like she'd tear the world up for her, if only she could. If only she would allow herself to.

 

Lexa swallowed and Clarke saw the ripple in her throat. She felt like she might get lost in the Commander's eyes with everything she was trying to say with them. With the way they peered right into her and the sadness that just seeped from them. The regret. The longing and when Lexa spoke, it was only a notch above a whisper. "And however much it pains me still."

 

Clarke gasped. This was the conversation they needed to have. The words were the ones she wanted to hear. More or less. Definitely more, in this moment. She knew she needed to stop being an ass over this. That she needed to get it out of her system because after this was over, this moment once again between them inside Lexa's tent then it would be done. There would be no more words to say, let alone anymore inclination for them to be heard.

 

Clarke tried to steady her voice and when she looked at Lexa, it was through washed out eyes, her heart pounding heavily against her ribs. The Commander's last few words staying with her, even more so the conviction behind them. It didn't matter though, as much as Clarke wanted to live on that sentiment. How could she believe Lexa wouldn't do it all again? Even with all this that was building between them.

 

"But I can't trust you," Clarke began slowly, her eyes focusing somewhere at Lexa's shoulder. "If I'm always second guessing whether you're going to betray me."

 

Lexa took a moment and then felt the exasperation rush through her. It was heavy and hot, and very distracting, her eyes going wide as they shot to the roof of her tent, her lungs sucking in a deep and powerful breath. She couldn't think how to phrase what she wanted to say. She was hardly ever emotional like this and it was making her head spin.

 

Clarke wouldn't let her turn though, or walk away from her again. She wanted to press her, wanted to try and make her see. So she turned her palm in the air and held it out toward Lexa's chest, not quite touching her, though. Her elbow was bent as she stood right in front of her as Lexa pointedly avoided her gaze. "How can I forgive you?" she asked in a whisper, the lines across her forehead turning to worry. She wanted to, more than anything and she wanted Lexa to tell her how.

 

Lexa though, was rapidly having enough.

 

"Again with your sky ways," she growled. Her voice low and rumbling. "This is the ground," she tried to force into her. Her words thick with a rough and ready edge. "Trust is knowing the way of things. The way of the ground." _Of knowing the words your first tells you is the truth and never anything else_ , she wanted to say. Because on the face of it Clarke _had_ been her second. Of sorts. She glared at Clarke as she hardened her tone. "Of the Commander. Of Trikru. You put your trust in these things and that is the way of it."

 

Clarke swallowed, her heart beating so furiously it almost hurt. Her pulse thumping loudly in her neck. Her words to argue lost somewhere in her throat as she felt Lexa's intent penetrate her. This was more than a lesson, this was Clarke being _told_ but all of a sudden Lexa's eyes softened again, as if she couldn't quite decide whether she should be the Commander, or just Lexa.

 

"You think I don't deserve such a thing." Lexa cut her eyes away for a moment, recalling something Gustus told her long ago. "Forgiveness isn't about what is deserved, Clarke..." she sighed, trailing off as she tried to calm the frantic movement of her chest and the slight tremble of her hands from the sheer volume of what she felt inside.

 

Clarke stopped, her eyes going wide as the words echoed in her head. Her tongue came out to soften her lips as her throat went insanely dry. She remembered, _something_. Something hazy about those words, something that made her chest still and her resolve crumble. It resonated with her, as she watched Lexa struggle to finish her sentence and then something thundered through her.

 

Clarke knew exactly how to finish that sentence.

 

Lexa looked out and just to the side of Clarke's head. "Forgiveness is-"

 

Clarke quickly lunged forward and wrapped an arm around Lexa's shoulder, her other hand finding the back of her neck as she pulled the Commander toward her, crashing their lips together in a heated, frenzied rush.

 

All Clarke wanted to feel was Lexa's lips on hers. She wanted to feel the press of her body, the touch of her hands. Her breath as it exhaled against her skin and she wasn't disappointed as after a moment she felt the Commander respond. She felt her step against her and she felt her sigh against her lips. She felt her arms wrap around her and her hands press against her lower back holding her so incredibly, and gently close.

 

She felt the Commanders body relax as any and all pretence evaporated. Any struggle to find the right words to express what she felt just all of a sudden gone and then all there was, was _this_. Clarke felt it too. A moment of calm as the kiss slowed to the gentle press of lips, once, twice, and then a third time as Lexa held Clarke's top lip between her own, seemingly unwilling to let it go. Seemingly not wanting to end the moment at all. Not even in the least and then it changed.

 

They kissed again, Lexa tilting her head to the other side and Clarke's hands sliding along to either side of Lexa's jaw, nipping at her bottom lip and exhaling hard, pushing her hips against the Commander's making her step backwards, and Lexa went willingly.

 

Clarke pushed against her, wanting to get lost here. Wanting to get lost with Lexa, wherever she wanted to take her. It wasn't the alcohol anymore. It was lust. Pure and aching and screaming to be heard. Her chest was pounding and every inch of her felt hot. Her mind so cloudy she no longer knew which way was up but she didn't care. She didn't want to be the Clarke she was before anymore. She wanted to be this one. The one who knew who she was and where she wanted to be. The Commander instilled that in her and she also sparked something, something deep and hidden that in this moment was the very thing that lead her on.

 

Lexa's back hit something solid and she let out a groan, the feeling of Clarke's body fully melding to hers making her mind go weak. Clarke's hands were everywhere, hungry. Pressing against her jaw and neck. In her hair and gripping onto her braids. Along her shoulders and down her chest. Against her sides and then all over again. Lexa was dizzy, her body crying out for this. For _her_. For Clarke. She had wanted this since she'd first laid eyes on her and even more since she'd answered her back. No one did that anymore. No one.

 

Clarke's tongue was in her mouth and Lexa heard her moan, fully, as Lexa pulled their hips together and Clarke was pressed flush against Lexa's thigh. It was maddening, and Lexa's body rushed. Her skin tingled and her stomach turned in on itself at the utter magnetism of it. The power of their attraction overwhelming.

 

Lexa sucked on Clarke's tongue and couldn't get her close enough. Couldn't feel her warmth enough, the kind of warmth of skin on skin. She released a different kind of growl this time and spun them, grabbing Clarke's thigh as she did and thumping her against the wooden upright of the tent.

 

Clarke moaned in surprise but it didn't stop her from continuing to devour Lexa's mouth, nor did it stop her from enticing Lexa to roam freely into hers. Feeling the Commander's tongue pass over her lips as she pressed her body _hard_ against her made Clarke's eyes roll back in her head, and she unabashedly squeezed her leg around Lexa's hip to leverage herself up a little, Lexa hoisting her up so they were level. Clarke deliriously trapped between the rigid surface at her back and the rugged softness of Lexa's front.

 

Lexa pulled her lips away for just a moment, her breathing altogether heavy and her chest heaving with the desire coursing through her. She panted, as she pressed her forehead against Clarke's and took a moment or two to try and find her voice. She had to lick her lips a couple times, and swallow to help clear the lump in her throat.

 

"Clarke..." she whispered, her voice deliciously shaky and breathless. As much off balance as she had ever, _ever_ been in her entire life. Clarke had turned her into a frenzy, and all she wanted was more.

 

Clarke just gripped at her harder. Pressed her fingers into the back of the Commander's neck tighter. Moved her head up a little so Lexa's forehead was resting against the bridge of her nose. Clarke felt the tremble, but she wasn't sure if it was the Commander, or if it was her.

 

Probably both.

 

Clarke's eyes were shut tight and she shook her head, ever so slightly and when she spoke, her voice was just as breathy. Just as husky, and just as eager. She swallowed, hard. "Just.." she choked, a raging fire within her now. Her chest shaking and her body tense. The heat between her legs overpowering. "..Stop talking."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
>  Translations.  
>  **
> 
>  
> 
> Okay, thanks again to commander-smoulder on tumblr for helping with my translations. I've no idea how you just get the language but still. Maybe I'll get it one day ;)
> 
>  
> 
> **"Skaikru laik branwada, Heda. Osir nou gaf taim en osir nou gaf ai disha veida op.."**  
>  _"The Sky People are fools, Commander. We don't have time and we don't have to watch over this intruder.."_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Em beda bilaik honon kom taim oso na lan em op."**  
>  _"She should stay a prisoner until we can use her."_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Em pleni, Indra."**  
>  _"Enough, Indra."_
> 
>  
> 
> **"-Ai get dison in, Indra."**  
>  _"-I know this, Indra."_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Sha, Heda."**  
>  _"Yes, Commander."_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Tu."**  
>  _"Two."_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Mochof."**  
>  _"Thank you."_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Nou mou, Klark!"**  
>  _"No more, Clarke!"_


	6. sis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is angry, an intruder is discovered and things are heated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is SO late! It's this kiss of death whenever I say I'm going to update quicker, something always invariably happens. Anyhow here we go with the next installment - as always please let me know what you think :) I'm reachable on [Twitter](http://twitter.com/talented_gemx) or [Tumblr](http://talentedgemx.tumblr.com).
> 
> Quick ClexaCon note - I have a Twitter account set up for connecting people in the UK and Europe, to find travel buddies and/or connect with people going and meet up with in Vegas, please check it out. I'm posting deals on travel as well when I find them, and hotels etc - [@ClexaConUK](http://twitter.com/clexaconuk).

Lexa was, furious.

 

Exceptionally, deeply, chaotically. She strode with a venom that pumped hotly through her veins. Her teeth clenching together and her eyes wide and bright. A purpose that she felt rattling in her every inch; a deeply unwelcome one that festered away at her, burning at her with undignified frustration. It gnawed at her and Lexa felt it rolling in her chest. Repeating, like there was no way it could escape unless she made someone else feel it too.

 

And she would.

 

She snarled as the thought came to the forefront of her mind. She would make him pay and her hands clenched in rigid fists at her sides as she powered ever closer to her destination. To where Indra was holding this intruder, the darkness of the night now heavy upon her shoulders and her face far from expressionless. The anger was firmly rooted in her belly and it penetrated through her eyes.

 

She knew Clarke was several paces behind her but she didn’t think even she would be able to stop what she would do to this prisoner. If she had to remove her from the cell in order to carry it out then so be it. He would take his punishment for spying and for trespassing on her land and if he didn’t share what he knew then his death would be even slower. Three times as painful and ten times as brutal.

 

Lexa was glad though that Clarke had followed. At least this way she could ensure she was protected, and perhaps she would be able to read on the Ice Warriors face the extent of his knowledge as he saw Clarke standing before him. There was no point in presuming, Lexa knew, and that kind of thing she didn’t do. It was a waste of thought. She would find out what he was doing and what information he had gathered, if any, and then he would die so Lexa could send him back to his Queen, piece by piece.

 

Lexa’s head dipped for a moment, her eyes faltering as she blinked but then her head came back up again. Her anger was displaced for a moment by a sudden clenching in her chest and a certain dryness in her throat. A sense of dread all of a sudden as a prickliness erupted at the top of her spine. Her tongue came out to moisten her lips and then she shook it away. It was weakness, Lexa was sure. Spurred on by what just happened inside her tent but she was adamant; it was a weakness that wouldn’t control her, even as the unpleasant images flashed before her eyes.

 

Lexa frowned and she had to steel herself all over again. What happened to Costia would _not_ happen to Clarke. It wasn’t an option, and she wouldn’t let it. Lexa had to forcibly remove the idea from her mind. She growled under her breath and then made herself hard. Made herself _fearless_. Made herself not think of the softness of Clarke's body from before, of how the sensations filtered through her when their lips met. Of how Clarke's heated skin felt, her breath against her skin and her heavy, wanting touch. Clarke's tongue as it dominated her mouth when her chest heaved against her own, and then the way she sounded when she moaned. The utter bliss that swept through Lexa's mind when Clarke pressed desperately against her thigh...

 

Abruptly Lexa stopped walking.

 

"Heda?"

 

It was Dax, quickly at her side.

 

He just looked at her, as Lexa somehow pulled herself together. As she quickly changed her disposition so the need would no longer be in her expression. Just the anger. Just the harsh, bitter realisation that along with this spy came the start of another war but Lexa welcomed it, as she straightened her spine and her chin along with it.

 

For a very long time Lexa had wanted to see the Ice Queen dead. She had envisioned it, dreamed about it, spun entire stories of it in her head. This was her chance to stop suppressing it and at the end one of them would lay dead, perhaps both but Lexa would not stop until she could paint Polis with the colour of the Queen's blood.

 

When she felt Clarke stop at her other side she began walking again without so much as a word so overtaken by vengeance she suddenly was. She didn't want Clarke to see it in her eyes.

 

Dax exchanged a look with Clarke and then the two of them hastily followed the Commander.

 

Clarke felt a little awkward, if she was honest. Especially as that was the first time Dax was able to look her in the eye since he entered Lexa's tent. She was glad of the darkness the night brought with it and the lack of torches on the way to the cells for she was certain the heat hadn't left her cheeks. It certainly hadn't left her body. She felt on edge, definitely frustrated and completely and utterly confused. She had _pounced_ on Lexa, that she could certainly remember. One moment they were arguing, albeit heatedly and the next...

 

Clarke swallowed. It was messy, that's what it was, and conflicted. _She_ was conflicted and Clarke, of course, had no idea what Lexa was. Whether she'd wanted it or if it was just in the spur of the moment.

 

Clarke closed her eyes. This wasn't the time. There was an Ice Nation spy that the Commander was surely about to torture, and if the look on her face when Dax informed her of his capture was anything to go by, it was going to be loud and bloody. Clarke opened her eyes and ran a shaky hand over her head and through her hair.

 

Lexa was angry, as angry as Clarke had ever seen her but she couldn't be completely sure if it was due solely to the Ice Warrior, or because of Dax's impromptu interruption as well but either way, it was intimidating. Once again Clarke found herself wishing she could put a cap on things the way the Commander could. She could still feel the heat rushing through her, could still feel her heart pounding outside of her ribcage at the emotions Lexa had stirred within her. The level of lust. Clarke was having a hard time shaking it, no matter the threat the discovery of this Ice Warrior brought with him.

 

 

_"Just.." Clarke choked, a raging fire within her now. Her chest shaking, her body tense. The heat between her legs overpowering. "..Stop talking."_

_Lexa closed her eyes tighter, pressed her body against Clarke that little bit harder and felt a deep rumbling within her throat that she just couldn't contain. Her top lip twitched with it, her fingertips pushing with all their might into the softness of Clarke's thighs as she held her, completely and utterly at her mercy against the wooden post._

_Lexa wanted her, it was all her body was screaming but she tried to temper it. Her ache. Her overwhelming, burning desire to take Clarke right there and then because really, it was madness. Spur of the moment. Born from a suppressed desire that had bubbled to the surface, something that Lexa had hidden well until Clarke walked back into her camp and her wants and needs slowly began to resurface and now, in this moment, simply would not stay suppressed. They refused to stay hidden and with each flick of Clarke's tongue and every heavy press of her lips, Lexa felt an inch of herself give in._

_It was dangerous, though, as not long ago Lexa didn't know whether Clarke was there to kill her and yet now here she was, gripping onto her as if her life depended on it. Clarke was pulling at her, grabbing at her clothes. Her shoulders, her neck, braids, everything but it didn't mean Clarke was ready. Honestly Lexa didn't think Clarke was ready for anything but this was need. This was lust. This was pure, inaugurated desire spurned on by the heat of their words and Lexa in her right mind should know better. She would know better because Clarke wasn't just anyone. Not someone she would take to her bed for a single night of passion. She was Clarke but the thing was.. Lexa just wanted her._

_Hungrily and passionately and desperately as if it had been a lifetime since this chronic, surging need inside her had been satisfied. She'd had lovers, of course, but none like this. Never anything even remotely close to this. Not for years, and Lexa wouldn't deny either one of them. The burn within her was too great. The lust, the tingling in her gut and the weakness in her knees. It made her chest hitch and her lungs judder. A certain pulling inside that made her heart lurch and her body take root as if it would be foreign for her to be anywhere else. To be with anyone else. To be anywhere other than in this moment, kissing this girl whose fingertips shot blazing trails of fire up her neck and into her brain. It was too much and not enough all at once and Lexa only wanted more._

_She pushed out a dominant breath, the grumble still in her throat and she pressed herself harder against Clarke. As it left her lips Lexa felt her breath shake, her hands all of a sudden a little unsure against Clarke's thighs. Lexa swallowed as her forehead dipped a little lower and to the side, ghosting lightly down Clarke's temple and stopping just below her ear, her nose pressing right in at the corner of Clarke's jaw. She licked her lips as Clarke moaned again, Lexa's movement causing her to tilt her head in the opposite direction to open up the expanse of her neck and her flesh rippled ever so slightly, as Lexa breathed out hotly onto it._

_It felt like an age but only a moment had passed and as Lexa pressed her lips to the supple skin of Clarke's throat she felt the chaos return. Like a storm. Like the raging winds of the harshest winter she had ever known. She felt Clarke's guttural moan as loud as she heard it, vibrating through her skin and Lexa's senses completely ran away with themselves along with the heat that ruptured through every inch of her body._

_Lexa groaned into Clarke's skin as she kissed it, tasted it and sucked it into her mouth as her whole body just collapsed into Clarke's. She couldn't hold any part of her away any longer, and Clarke held her just as close in return. Her legs now completely wrapped around Lexa's hips as her arms enveloped her shoulders. Her hands gripping and pulling as much as she could, the force in them as if they were trying to penetrate Lexa's clothes._

_Clarke didn't know what she was doing but she gave into it without argument. She didn't know what she was doing through any of it. Since the moment she allowed Dax to capture her in the forest. Since the moment she walked away from Camp Jaha or even since she first stepped foot off the dropship. Somehow she found herself in the Commander's arms being kissed and pulled and grabbed and honestly she craved it. She needed it. Longed for it, even, and Lexa seemed more than willing to give it._

_It was the one thing through all of this Clarke knew, since the Commander first kissed her all those months ago regardless of... everything that happened since. Even though she told herself she didn't, told herself she hated her, couldn't even bare to look at her and even that she wanted to kill her, Clarke still wanted her. She wanted to kiss her, wanted to know what she felt like beneath all her armour and bravado. She wanted to see inside and know her and more vehemently than anything else, she wanted to touch her._

_She wanted to see the Commander writhing and moaning beneath her. She wanted to know what she sounded like at the peak of her pleasure and she wanted to see her come undone over and over again beneath her touch. It sent shivers down Clarke's spine. Made her back arch and her body press even further into Lexa and as she felt the Commander's lips hungrily assault her neck, Clarke just let it all go. She wanted her, rightly or wrongly and honestly she was sick of fighting it. The Commander brought this out in her. She made her think. She made her feel. She tested absolutely everything Clarke ever thought she knew. She challenged her and she somehow managed to turn things on their head. She was confusing, antagonising, defiant, stubborn as hell, infuriating beyond belief and more often than not she made Clarke's blood boil but she was magnetising and all of it just drew her to the Commander more and her eyes, well. Her eyes made Clarke's stomach do flips and in this maddening, crazy, lust-riddled moment she needed Lexa to take her, as hard and as fast as she could._

_Clarke grabbed the back of Lexa's neck and held her tightly, squeezing her skin as quickly as she felt the throbbing between her legs. It was painful, and it was all she could concentrate on. The tingling, the pulsing, the heat. It drowned everything else out and she heard the rushing prominently in her ears. The thumping loud in her chest. The flood racing through every pulse point and it made her thighs clamp tighter around Lexa's waist, the possessive growl emanating from Lexa's lips and into her skin in return too hot for Clarke to process. It made her stomach churn. Every part of her that was tense trembled and her knees felt undeniably weak._

_Clarke thumped her head back against the pillar and sucked in a much needed breath, her hands moving to the sides of Lexa's neck and her thumbs rubbing into the hard lines of her jaw. She lowered herself a little as Lexa straightened up and Clarke guided their lips together, pulling Lexa's face to her as she was desperate to taste her again. To feel her tongue as it entered her mouth again._

_Lexa was hot. She felt like she was overheating, the heat billowing from her as if she was the sun and Clarke radiating just the same in response. They were both wearing far too many clothes and Lexa wanted to do something about it. Now, but she was uncertain._

_Lexa grumbled. She was never uncertain, but something about Clarke made her pause and it only added to Lexa's frustration making her even more pent up that she already was. The Commander stopped, exhaled sharply through her nose as her gaze dropped to Clarke's chest, her hand holding firm on Clarke's hip. She blinked and then flicked her eyes up, focusing on the soft blues just above her and Lexa's chest lurched._

_The desire was rabid, the need bordering on desperate. There was want, lust, trust and that last one made Lexa's throat go raw. It was only small, like there was only enough for as long as this moment between them would last but Lexa would take it. A million times over and once more. She breathed in and felt Clarke pull at her collar, saw her brow begin to furrow when her eyes travelled to Lexa's lips as if she was missing their attention and quickly, every ounce of Lexa's restraint was gone._

_"Jok em," she murmured, the words getting lost in a low rumble as she pulled Clarke from the pillar and carried her to the war table, placing her down on top of it as Clarke kissed her again, a groan rattling her throat when her thighs hit the surface._

_Lexa's hands rounded Clarke's hips and pressed into the sides of her thighs, pulling her right to the edge of the table so their bodies connected once again, Lexa's stomach against the straining 'v' of Clarke's legs._

_Their movements quickly became frantic, Lexa's hands roaming the contours of Clarke's back while Clarke lost her hands in Lexa's braids. Clarke could hear herself panting, could hear herself moaning every time Lexa touched her somewhere new. Each time Lexa would flick her tongue in her mouth and especially each time she heard Lexa moan back as well. It only made her pulse race faster, her fingers press harder and her mind go completely numb to anything other than what she was feeling. Her skin felt like it was on fire and it was jarring, Clarke having absolutely no idea the last time she was this turned on. Whether or not she had been at all. It was getting too much; she wanted Lexa's hands on her. She wanted to feel her. She needed to._

_Clarke pressed her lips to Lexa's neck and started her assault as she felt the Commander's hands grip possessively against her, the rewarding grunt Clarke heard sending a spark straight to her groin. Her thighs jumped a little, and Lexa tilted her head in pleasure as her eyes fell closed, her lips uttering something in Trigedasleng that Clarke couldn't decipher at all._

_Lexa was twitching all over, her body surging as she turned her head into Clarke and relaxed her hands on top of her thighs. She felt her chest ignite, sensations soaring through her as Clarke licked and bit her skin. It wasn't long before Lexa's hands started moving again impatient as they were. They dug into Clarke's skin as she became aware of Clarke's hands caressing her sides and roaming over the buckles over her stomach, trying desperately to find a way in._

_Clarke ripped her lips away and furrowed her brow, her teeth biting down on her lower lip as her hands hurried at the front of Lexa's clothes. Grasping at the buckles that were tight over her abs. Clarke grunted in frustration, annoyed at the barrier and she instantly despised grounder clothing for its intricate fastenings no matter how comfortable she found her own. Clarke couldn't be doing with comfort right then. She needed the Commander's skin._

_Lexa looked at her through half-lidded eyes and her voice rumbled as she spoke. Clarke's eyes as dark as she could ever remember seeing them with the lust swirling heavily within their depths. "Ai gaf yu in," Lexa mumbled, her voice thick and heavy and her chest panting as her gaze dropped to Clarke's torso, lingering there before it followed her arms to the buckles she was having so much trouble with._

_Clarke paused as the statement moved through her, there being something utterly hot about the Commander whispering to her in a language she didn't understand in a situation such as this. It rippled through her, making her gut clench and her chest shudder, her spine tingling right along its length. Her breaths were just one short gasp after another and then she felt Lexa's hands over hers, stopping their movement before they went quickly to Clarke's shoulders, pushing her jacket off in one swift motion._

_Clarke sighed as her eyes fell closed, Lexa's forehead just millimetres from her own as she rolled her shoulders back a little, arching her chest forwards to help the item on its way. Her thighs clamped tighter against Lexa's legs to give her purchase as she leaned back a little, Lexa's hands running down the length of her arms as she felt the Commander's lips on hers once more, needy and demanding and seeking entry._

_Clarke moaned into Lexa's mouth as she allowed it, Lexa's hands returning to her lower back once she was done with the coat. She quickly found the bottom of Clarke's top and she dipped her fingers underneath it, the tips closely followed by her palms as they came into contact with Clarke's hot, silky skin._

_The gravel was back in Lexa's throat as her mind erupted, the heat beneath her fingertips intoxicating making the pounding in her chest intensify tenfold. All she could hear was its deep thumping in her ears, her body feeling like it was burning from the inside out. She felt Clarke's hands squeeze the material of her clothes at her chest and pull her slightly over her, Clarke now rocking back a little on the table with Lexa leaning over her, devouring her mouth with an insistence the Commander didn't even know she still had and when Clarke's legs clenched even tighter around her hips, pulling their bodies impossibly closer Lexa felt a sudden rush pool between her legs._

_"Heda!"_

_They both ignored it. Or imagined it didn't happen. One of the two and Clarke squeezed that little bit tighter along the skin of Lexa's jaw with her thumbs. At the base of her skull as her fingertips found greater purchase in the Commander's warm, soft flesh._

_"Heda!_

_Clarke sighed into Lexa's mouth and her frown was instantly hard, her body stiff as the Commander's did the exact same thing, the deep sound in her throat this time though, not at all out of pleasure._

_Lexa ripped her lips away and swung her head to the entrance of her tent. "Chit?!"_

_Neither of them could move fast enough before Dax entered, his chest heaving like he had hurried but his face immediately froze at the sight before him._

_Lexa straightened quickly and Clarke was able to move out from under her, scooting along the table a little as Lexa turned, facing her general with a face on her that could start a war. Her eyes were unflinching and her demeanour was as if she would slice him open if his reason for interrupting wasn't an exceptional one._

_Clarke just swallowed uncomfortably, her palms wrapped around the edge of the table as she continued to sit there, not having a clue what was going on and her mind still absolutely reeling from what just happened. She could still feel the heat, still feel Lexa's touch from where her hands roamed beneath her shirt. Her skin was still blazing, she was sure of it._

_"Moba, Heda," Dax eventually said, his heading dropping in an obvious display of submission and if a man of his size and his breadth could squeal, that would've been it._

_Lexa levelled out her chin as she set her shoulders back, her body working overtime to try and control what she was feeling. "Chich," she ordered at her general, not missing how agitated and panicked he looked but it didn't serve to douse what was raging within her. They had started something, she and Clarke, that was for sure and Lexa couldn't help but feel anger for Dax's interruption. Her blood raged and she thought if her weapons weren't on the other side of the tent she might even have a blade at his throat._

_"Gona kom azgeda. Em kamp raun gon trimani."_

_Lexa's eyes went wide, her anger tripling. Surely that wasn't possible. Not on her land, without her knowledge. The skin along her spine prickled and her lip curled distastefully. "Ha?"_

_Dax looked a little lost for words and he swallowed uncomfortably. "Osir nou get in, Heda."_

_Lexa let her eyes rip apart her general's for a moment longer before she strode over to her weapons and started to armour up. "Hani?" she spat._

_"Jos won."_

_Clarke slipped off the table feeling the level of apprehension in the air hike almost instantly. She knew the word for Ice Nation and that was most definitely it. "What's happening?" she asked tentatively, her eyes firmly planted on Lexa's back._

_"Where is he?" Lexa asked by way of an answer, reverting to English so Clarke could understand._

_Dax looked hesitantly between the two leaders. "The south cells."_

_Clarke was still a little confused but before she could voice it Lexa had turned, her sword tight on her hip and her coat flowing over her shoulders as she slipped her arms into it, striding past Clarke without hesitation as she made for the flap of the tent. "Ice spy," she growled, her face full of disdain._

_With a lingering look at Clarke Dax turned on his heel, following his Commander into the night and with one swift motion, Clarke grabbed her coat and ran after them both._

_**_

 

Dax's eyes flitted between his Commander and Clarke, Lexa being a stride ahead of him and Clarke flanking his right side, perhaps a couple of feet away from him. He kept his head facing forwards, his hand gripping solidly on the hilt of his sword at his hip. The tension in the air was palpable, even Dax could feel it along the back of his neck and if he dared make a sudden movement he would shudder, but he didn't. Both he and Clarke strode furiously to keep up with the enraged Commander and Dax wondered how heavily he would pay for the interruption later.

 

Gustus once told him one of the worst things a person could do to the Commander was interrupt her when she was being intimate. Apparently he was talking from experience from an incident when Costia was alive but he refused to go into any detail. Just that when the Commander chose to be intimate she was never, _ever_ to be interrupted unless the offender wanted to face death. Dax could only assume that the Commander wasn't intimate often, so when she was it must be special, or something.

 

Dax shook his head. He had no idea, and really there were other things to worry about at the moment. More pressing things. Like the Ice Warrior in their cells and the fact that the gathering leaders in Polis must know of this intrusion, if indeed he was a spy. Dax swallowed, taking a deep breath and then catching up with the Commander and falling into step with her. His duty to her and the Trikru was his first priority after all, and that was why he strode into her tent with this news in the first place.

 

"Commander," Dax began, his voice low and quiet.

 

Lexa shot him a look filled with fire. Her eyes were wide and Dax could see the air as she puffed it out in front of her, one short ragged breath at a time. Her expression was riddled with fury and Dax knew immediately that whatever he had seen in her tent was a subject not to be broached and definitely not shared.

 

He cleared his throat awkwardly and peeled his eyes away, his hand still gripped around his sword. "We found him out by the northern border. He refuses to speak."

 

Lexa really didn't think that would be an issue when she got there. If this was the Queen's first move then she would make a deadlier one, starting with this warrior. "Em jus na bilaik az fou taim ai laik odon kom em," she mumbled into the depth of the night.

 

Dax licked his lips, the Commander's tone sending a chill down his spine. "There is no evidence he ventured further."

 

"Perhaps you caught him on the way out." Clarke was only half a step back from Dax. Her knees were hurting but she didn't care. She needed to know what this was about.

 

"We would have seen him," Dax countered.

 

"You sure of that?" Clarke asked without accusation, but Dax glared at her over his shoulder nonetheless, falling out of step a little with the Commander.

 

"Yes," he forced, and then the look in his eyes became agitated. "We know exactly what happens inside our territory."

 

Clarke raised her brow. "You didn't know where I was, when I was staying in the woods."

 

Dax just blinked at her. "Yes we did."

 

Clarke stumbled, at that, and was stuck for what to say. Lexa slowed her pace as they approached the entrance of the cells. She knew that piece of information would annoy Clarke but she couldn't deal with it then. She was far too sold on the prospect of this warrior being a spy.

 

Dax stopped and turned to face Clarke. "There was an eye on you at every turn, Clarke of the Sky People." To him it was foolish of her to think otherwise.

 

Lexa stopped walking but kept her eyes ahead. The entrance to the cells was only a few yards away. "He is here and he is alone," she said in strict monotone, cutting off the other two instantly. "That is enough."

 

Dax stepped back to her side.

 

Lexa gritted her teeth, a grisly, determined expression settling on her face. "If he defies his Commander it will be the last thing he does." She didn't give anyone a chance to speak as she walked quickly toward the cells entrance.

 

Clarke reached out to Dax's arm before he could follow. "Why is that enough?" she asked quietly, not feeling it was the best time for her to question Lexa.

 

Dax started walking and Clarke went with him. "The Ice Nation do not come this far south without sending word. A single warrior is worrying."

 

Lexa had already gone inside and Dax ducked his head to fit beneath the stone entrance.

 

Clarke swallowed and followed him. It had been a while since she had been here. "Why?"

 

"He will be scouting. Gathering information to send back to his Queen."

 

They both followed the stone corridor as it snaked deeper underground.

 

"What kind of information?" Clarke asked, feeling herself with each word as well as each step, getting pulled back into the reality of life on the ground and just how gruesome it could be.

 

"Anything," Dax shrugged. "Heda's weaknesses. Signs of discontent. The Sky People. You."

 

Her hand shot out to his arm again. "My people?"

 

He regarded her as if this shouldn't surprise her. "Yes," he replied. "You destroyed the Mountain. This will interest Nia greatly. As will your people."

 

Clarke's brow furrowed not quite understanding what she was being told. It rushed at her and she swallowed, saying the first thing that came into her head. "Are my people in danger?"

 

His lips upturned a little, at that. "We are all in danger, Clarke," he whispered as Lexa's voice became louder in background. He looked toward where the voice was coming from. "It is why Heda is so concerned." He turned back to Clarke. "If the Ice Nation should strike before you are ready. Before your people are ready..."

 

Clarke shook her head, trying to get things to make sense. Her throat bobbed nervously and she felt a distinct heaviness rise up and claim her. "Is that something that's likely to happen?"

 

Dax seemed to read it on her and it made his expression soften. "It is what Heda will find out."

 

**

 

The Ice Warriors face was streaked with blood. His eye swollen and weeping and his lips split, the tanginess of iron prominent in his mouth. Half his face was shadowed in varying shades of purple and lumps were forming across his cheekbone and temple from where he had been beaten. His body would show the same colours if it wasn't for his clothes shielding it from view.

 

The Ice Nation warriors were the toughest within all of Lexa's territories. It took a certain breed to live surrounded by ice Lexa always thought, and due to the unwelcome temperatures their people hardly ever encountered anyone from the other clans. No one went to visit and besides, the Queen was notoriously hard and unforgiving. Just as cold as the ice in which she lived.

 

This is why one of her people this far south was so unheard of. No one went to visit them and none of her people ever left unless it was on coalition business. Lexa stood over him as he knelt on the ground, his wrists bound in shackles and his chest wheezing hard behind his broken ribs. He was the first of many, she was sure of it.

 

She took a step back as she ran her fingers over her bruised and bloodied knuckles, working out the kinks in her joints. She knew he wouldn't speak; they never did. A good number of his kind she had captured when Costia was taken all those years ago. A good number she had beaten in her interrogations far worse than this and still they never uttered a word. The Ice Queen's spies were generally more brawn than brain. More solid muscle with the simple task of reconnaissance and they carried this task out to the letter, unbreakable in their stupidity to remain silent. The Commander tilted her head at him as she considered how Nia had more or less sent him here to die.

 

Lexa crouched in front of him, her voice lowering but still threatening. "Your Queen will not win," she began, being careful to maintain eye contact and ensure she was the only thing he could see. "Your nation will fall and all those you have ever known will crumble beneath my feet."

 

He was struggling to maintain consciousness and his shoulders kept dropping before he would catch himself and attempt to remain upright. Lexa couldn't see fear in his eyes and that was half the problem. If he had indeed been sent here to die then he was aware of it, and he embraced it.

 

Lexa though was unwavering in her conviction nonetheless. The fact that he wouldn't obey his Heda was treason and she would make him suffer for it. She unsheathed her dagger and held it at his throat, dancing the blade along the expanse of his skin.

 

"It will start with your blood," Lexa continued, leaving tiny beads of crimson in the blades wake. "And it will end with your Queen's, both drawn by the edge of my dagger." Lexa's eyes actually clouded then, the bloodlust running riot in her veins as she was getting drunk on the idea of slitting _her_ throat. The woman who had taken so much from her and never paid the price. It was a fantasy Lexa had long since given up on but was now back in the realm of possibility. It was invigorating, and Lexa actually smirked at the thought of it.

 

Her voice went thicker, the rasp in it almost deadly as her blade broke the Ice Warriors skin a little deeper. "I will send you back to her piece by piece, as I will all those who follow you but you will still live." She shuffled closer to him as she spoke, the anger igniting her being once more. The anger of what the Queen was doing, of how she wanted to overthrow Lexa's rule and take the coalition for her own. It was audacious, and Lexa would enjoy tearing her apart for her contempt. "You will suffer a long, slow, _painful_ death for your disobedience as will your family, when your land is mine to reap."

 

That earned a look from him, even his swollen eye twitched as his focus squared on his Heda. His hands braced against his restraints and he looked like he wanted to speak. Like he wasn't sure if he believed her words or the level of venom that was behind them. The unfaltering vehemence that laced her eyes. Lexa smiled tightly at his indecision. She knew the Ice Queen would have told him she was weak. That the Commander no longer had the strength to lead but the evidence before him clearly stated otherwise.

 

Lexa scoffed as she rose to her feet, his nervous eyes following her every move. "Do not misunderstand," she sneered. "Everyone you love will suffer for your insolence."

 

**

 

Clarke paced outside the cell. She wasn't happy. The location first of all brought back reminders of her time held in there but also the Ice Warriors screams were making her skin crawl. It was difficult for Clarke to stomach and she was glad when the noise died down although she had to press Indra to make sure he wasn't actually dead. Clarke hadn't been inside herself although she was curious, but for the moment she was content to stay where she was.

 

Indra's patience though was being tested waiting outside the cells. She had rolled her eyes several times at Clarke already and it was clear she wished she was anywhere but guarding the entrance, having to put up with the anxious and confused Sky Heda.

 

"I don't understand, why would the Ice Queen attack the Commander now?" Clarke asked no one in particular, she was pretty much just speaking her thoughts as she paced. After a few moments of biting her bottom lip she stopped and looked at Indra. "Why would she at all? I thought she had sworn an oath to be in the coalition, or something?"

 

Indra just looked straight ahead as she sucked in her malice. Her eyes not deviating from the corridor in front of her. After a few moments of Clarke glaring at her she slowly shook her head. "You know nothing, skygirl."

 

Clarke took an agitated step toward her. "Then help me to."

 

Indra's love for the Ice Queen was non-existent. She hated her as strongly as the Commander did and wanted nothing more than to see her dead but she knew Clarke would only complicate things. Would only get in the way but like it or not she was involved. They had discussed it at length, her, Lexa and Dax and there was no way to keep Clarke out of it. Not after the events at the Mountain. The Queen would come after this skygirl, that was for certain, it was just _what_ she would do with her that was under question. Although Heda had a pretty good idea about that, too.

 

Eventually, Indra met Clarke's gaze and pushed out her words through clenched teeth. "You are oblivious. That woman will stop at nothing for power. She has waited, and now this is her chance."

 

Clarke's brow furrowed even further. "Why now?"

 

Indra sighed and rolled her eyes, turning away a little. She wasn't about to tell Clarke the power she held since wiping out the Mountain. It wasn't her place at any rate. It was up to the Commander what information was to be shared and when. The facts frustrated Indra though, nevertheless. She sighed heavily. She wouldn't see Heda dead or hurt, and Clarke was likely to cause both one way or another. Indra honestly had no idea why Lexa bothered so much about this skygirl. She had strength of course, courage to some degree but that was about it. Nothing at all like what was demanded in order to become Heda. If she was of the Trikru the Commander's spirit wouldn't even look twice at her.

 

"Heda see's greatness in you," Indra said, completely ignoring Clarke's question and then she turned back to her. "I do not."

 

Clarke didn't know what to do with that and quickly became affronted.

 

Indra just flashed her teeth at her. "I see a girl who dropped from the sky, lost and scared who mistook Heda's pity for something more."

 

Clarke scoffed and shook her head, really having enough of Indra's attitude. As for Lexa's pity, well... "Heda's pity?" Clarke repeated, narrowing her eyes venomously at the general. "Is that what you called it when you all turned your backs and marched away from the Mountain?"

 

Indra raised her voice. "That was necessary."

 

Obviously Indra and Lexa read from the same book of excuses. Clarke was beginning to feel the bitterness again. She was surprised by how quickly it was there. "Neces-"

 

Indra was having none of it, though. "-You're a fool if you think otherwise. Choices in war are hard, skygirl. You show your naivety and inexperience. How will you fare in the next war? And the next?"

 

Clarke took a step back and looked away from Indra. She wasn't about to have this conversation again, even though it wasn't her who brought it up. She swallowed heavily and tried to push it from her mind. "I was hoping there wouldn't be another war," she admitted quietly, knowing the comment was naive in and of itself.

 

Indra didn't soften, however. Her tone was just as rigid, and just as accusing. "There is always another war," she sneered. "You will be lucky to survive the next."

 

There was a gut-wrenching sound from inside the cells and it made both of them stop and turn toward it. Indra didn't strike Clarke as the kind of person who would flinch so she assumed it must be bad. It didn't take her long to decide to go in, but it did take longer for her feet to want to take her there.

 

Clarke licked her lips as she cast an anxious look at Indra before she sucked in a deep breath and dashed inside the cell, the general remaining steadfast at her post.

 

**

 

Clarke had no idea what she would find but it wasn't as bad as she thought. At least his head was still on even if it was weird colours, and caked in blood.

 

She stopped just inside the cell and licked at her lips, her eyes glued to the man slumped on the floor against the far wall. His wrists in the same shackles hers once were but his body was in a far worse state. She swallowed painfully and then flinched a little as the man on the floor looked at her in surprise, his head coming up in realisation of who she was.

 

The Ice Warrior straightened up against the wall as he grunted something unintelligible, his lips murmuring to himself as he glared back at Clarke.

 

Lexa, Dax and the two Trikru guards present all followed his eye-line and turned to Clarke, Lexa automatically taking a step closer to her before she stopped and squared her chin. "Clarke," was all she said, her eyes quickly giving her the once over.

 

"Wanheda," the Ice Warrior mumbled, just as if this was the first time he had seen her and then instantly Lexa knew all that she needed to know.

 

She flashed the warrior one last disgusted look and then turned to Clarke, grabbing her arm and pulling her to the wall at the back of the cell. Immediately Dax and the two guards moved to stand in front of the prisoner in a sort of semicircle, blocking his view to the Commander and Clarke.

 

Clarke looked worried and when she fixed her attention on Lexa her concern only grew. She noticed her hands were bruised and covered in blood, a thin layer of sweat covering her brow making her cheekbones glisten in the dim light, as well as a faint streak of blood that stretched down the side of her face. Lexa had obviously been busy.

 

The Commander though, was only concerned about Clarke and what caused her to enter so abruptly. "What is it?" she whispered, her tone surprisingly gentle but her eyes alert. "Where is Indra?"

 

Clarke not for the first time just shook her head. "Outside," she whispered in return, the furrow refusing to leave her brow. "Nothing," and then she stopped, recognising the name the warrior had called her. She sighed, feeling very confused and out of the loop. "I'm not going to like that term, am I?"

 

Lexa dropped her hand from Clarke's arm and she pulled her lips into a tight line. She straightened her back as she realised Clarke wasn't in any immediate danger and decided she needed to get her out of the cell. Any English word uttered would be understood by the Ice Warrior, not that it really mattered considering his fate but Lexa wanted privacy nonetheless.

 

"Come," Lexa said as she nodded at the entrance, taking a step into Clarke's space as she hoped she would get the hint.

 

"Heda?" Dax called, before either of them had chance to get very far.

 

Lexa turned to her general as he stood there awaiting instruction. Dax had opened up the semicircle so the warrior was in plain sight and Clarke tilted her head at him, quickly scrutinising his appearance.

 

Lexa dropped her eyes to the prisoner and when she spoke her voice was again hard and cold. "Dula bilaik yu gaf in den teik em wan op."

 

"Sha, Heda."

 

Lexa pulled on Clarke's arm again, directing her toward the exit but Clarke stopped as they were just a few steps into the corridor.

 

"I recognise him," Clarke said, her eyes narrowing as she remembered.

 

Lexa just regarded her, the malice and hatred gone from her demeanour and she was more of the Lexa Clarke knew again. Still with fire in her eyes however, and a hard edge to her frame but not at all the savage Commander who had left her tent.

 

"Not him exactly," Clarke corrected herself and then she gestured at her face. "But the markings, and his clothes."

 

Lexa became a bit stiffer and her eyes seemed to widen. "You have seen more like him?"

 

Clarke swallowed, her throat amazingly dry. "Just one, before I came here. When I was in the woods."

 

Lexa began to worry though it didn't show on her face. She took a step closer to Clarke. "Was he aware of you?"

 

"I'm not sure." Clarke shrugged. "I mean, I don't think so."

 

Lexa didn't say anything for a moment; she just stood there as she focused on her breathing, her mind weighing up the probabilities of what that could mean. In the end she just nodded and motioned for Clarke to keep walking.

 

**

 

Once out of the cells Lexa pulled Clarke over to one side and into the shade of a tree. There was practically no torch light, almost nothing to illuminate them save for the moon and the stars.

 

"Clarke," Lexa began, standing only a foot or so away and her voice quiet so not to carry on the wind. "I must go to Polis."

 

Clarke's attention though was suddenly somewhere else. She was gazing out to the side as if she was still inside the cells. Still staring at the broken and beaten Ice Warrior. Her eyes were wide and glossy. "Could that have been me?" she asked, her voice raspy and somewhat wrought. She looked at Lexa, then. "Would you have done that to me?"

 

Lexa exhaled, her body inching forward as she looked at Clarke, her eyes suddenly soft and her shoulders sloping forwards just a little. The tiniest hint of a furrow in her brow as she tried not to think of what happened when Clarke was captured. She held Clarke's gaze firmly for a few moments before she spoke. "No, Clarke," she whispered, and then there was the smallest shake of her head. "Not you."

 

Clarke caught the breath that Lexa let go of and then the world seemed to stand still. A moment passing between them that they had both felt before but one that was certainly, firmly out of place right then. It was only a moment until Clarke swallowed and dared to breathe again and then it was gone.

 

It did make Clarke wonder, however, how Lexa came to decide on her treatment when she was captured, if there were rules about that kind of thing. Somehow she didn't think the Ice Warrior was going to be taken to a bed of furs and have his wounds tended to but obviously now wasn't the time to ponder such things.

 

"Polis?" Clarke asked, a cough leaving her throat as she took a step back.

 

Lexa evened out her shoulders but remained standing where she was. Her hand finding out the hilt of her dagger to rest upon so she could do something with at least one of her hands. "Yes," she confirmed. "The discovery of spies escalates things."

 

Clarke frowned. "Escalates what?"

 

Lexa sighed and gazed off to the side, wary of what she should let Clarke know. She knew she should let her know all of it but the Sky People were still unpredictable, even if Clarke was not. Lexa caught Clarke's eyes again and thought better of it. Clarke could still be unpredictable, even if Lexa didn't _want_ her to be. She was in there, the girl who annihilated the Mountain. Somewhere, and she was lethal.

 

"I was not expecting movement till after winter. It seems the Queen wishes to surprise us."

 

Clarke considered it. "How do you know she definitely will?"

 

"I do not know," Lexa replied quickly. "But we must be prepared."

 

"What about my people?"

 

Lexa smiled, a little, then. Her eyes did too. "They are your people, again?"

 

Clarke paused and looked up to the sky, taking in a long deep breath and thinking how much simpler things were when she was in isolation up on the Ark. She puffed it out as she looked at Lexa. At least death would've been quick. "They will always be my people."

 

Lexa acknowledged her and it seemed if only for the moment Clarke was back. Lexa squared her jaw. "Your people are safe. No contact has been attempted with them yet."

 

Clarke frowned. "Yet?"

 

Lexa simply nodded.

 

Clarke sighed, again. "How do you know they're safe?"

 

Lexa waited for a moment. "Camp Jaha is under guard."

 

Clarke raised her eyebrows. "You're... watching them?"

 

Lexa's chest puffed out, a little bit. "I was uncertain if they would pose a threat."

 

Clarke nodded. "After the Mountain," she uttered quietly.

 

Lexa just softened her eyes, her weight shifting idly under foot.

 

Clarke's brow creased again. "So what did the Ice Warrior tell you?" and then there was a slight pause. "What did you do to him?"

 

Lexa straightened up once again, her tone becoming hard. "He told us nothing," and then she regarded Clarke carefully. "Beat them hard enough however and they will give something away. Eventually."

 

Clarke winced, unsure of how she felt about that. She didn't like torture but how the hell could she speak against it? She just tried to rid the images from her mind.

 

Lexa inhaled slowly. "He was surprised to see you when you entered the cell, Clarke," she grinned, just a little. "He did not know you were here."

 

Clarke tried to understand. "And that's a good thing?"

 

"Yes. They will be looking for you. Perhaps assume you are with another clan." Lexa took a step closer to Clarke. "It gives us time."

 

"What about the one I saw in the forest?"

 

Lexa shrugged. "If that one knew so would he," she said as she nodded her head in the direction of the cells.

 

Clarke decided to cut to the chase. "Why am I so important? Why are they looking for me?"

 

It was the question Lexa was waiting for. She dropped her gaze as she sized Clarke up. Scanning over every inch of her torso; every line of her face. For a moment she remembered what Clarke's lips tasted like and how smooth her skin was beneath her roaming touch.

 

Lexa pushed out a breath and attempted to clear her mind. She toughened up her resolve. "She seeks an alliance, Clarke. A partnership. To kill me and take control of the coalition."

 

Clarke blinked. The information simply overloading her brain. That, she wasn't expecting. Death, yes. Hers, not Lexa's, and definitely not another alliance. She was honestly getting sick of the word.

 

"What?" Clarke pretty much gasped, and then she shook her head. "What do you mean?"

 

Lexa couldn't help but smile, just a bit. It was a lot of information after all. A lot to take in. "The Ice Queen wishes to use you, Clarke, and your people for her own gain. To win a war she must have allies; and she wishes you to be one of them."

 

It was still hard to grasp, or maybe Clarke's brain was just having trouble catching up. Either way, it was making her head spin. She scrunched up her face. "How do you know all this?"

 

Lexa smiled again. "I have fought and won mighty battles, Clarke. I know how it is done."

 

Of that Clarke had no doubt.

 

Lexa stepped back a little and glanced down at the ground. She wanted to answer all of Clarke's questions but she also needed to prepare for Polis. She needed to move while the festival night was still looming. "You need time to think, Clarke, and you are welcome to stay here. You will not be harmed." She looked back up, then. "But I must leave for Polis."

 

Lexa went to move past her but Clarke reached out for her arm, stopping the Commander mid-step. It sent a jolt through them both and after a moment or so Clarke spoke. "You're meeting with the clan leaders?"

 

Lexa peered into her eyes. "Yes. They must know of this, and my meeting with them is overdue."

 

Clarke let go of Lexa's arm and faced her. "I'll come with you."

 

Lexa's brow furrowed and she wasn't sure Clarke understood what such a move would mean. "Clarke, I don't expect you to make a decision on your allegiance-"

 

"-I know," Clarke whispered, and then her eyes fell to the ground. "Look, I can't say I forgive you, or trust you completely yet but..." she shook her head, taking in a heavy breath and then pushing it out. "...I know what our best chance is, and that's with you."

 

Lexa remained still, her attention flicking between Clarke's eyes to gauge her. They could argue the toss back and forth about trust and allegiance, about co-operation and working together. There was Lexa's version and then there was the Sky People's version which didn't go at all well together but Lexa _did_ need Clarke in Polis. They would just have to hash out the details later.

 

Lexa swallowed. It was the only movement she made. "You are certain you can speak for you people?"

 

Clarke wasn't. Not really, but her pride told her otherwise. "Yes."

 

Lexa nodded her head. "Good. Then we head for Polis."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
>  Translations.  
>  **
> 
> "Jok em."  
> "Fuck it."
> 
> "Ai gaf yu in."  
> "I want you."
> 
> "Chit?!"  
> "What?!"
> 
> "Moba, Heda."  
> "Sorry, Commander."
> 
> "Chich."  
> "Speak."
> 
> "Gona kom azgeda. Em kamp raun gon trimani."  
> "Ice Nation warrior. In the woods."
> 
> "Ha?"  
> "How?"
> 
> "Osir nou get in, Heda."  
> "We don't know, Commander."
> 
> "Hani?"  
> "How many?"
> 
> "Jos won."  
> "Just one."
> 
> "Em jus na bilaik az fou taim ai laik odon kom em."  
> "His blood will be like ice before I'm done with him."
> 
> "Dula bilaik yu gaf in den teik em wan op."  
> "Do as you need then let him die."
> 
> "Sha, Heda."  
> "Yes, Commander."


	7. sen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the ride to Polis Clarke considers what's to come, she has a brief moment with Lexa and then they run into trouble. The Commander and her warriors demonstrate their ruthlessness in battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick update I know :) Please leave a comment and let me know what you think and leave me some kudos if you so wish :) 
> 
> **SPOILER/TRIGGER WARNING:** Something happens in this chapter which hurts one of our heroes but don't worry, no one dies! I promise. This was originally written way before s3 aired so I feel the need to warn you because there is blood and pain but honestly no parallels to the show. 
> 
> As always you can say hey on [Tumblr](http://talentedgemx.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](http://twitter.com/talented_gemx/), & if you're going to ClexaCon come say hi on my [@ClexaConUK](http://twitter.com/ClexaConUK/) account - you don't have to be from the UK, lol. It's for people to connect with each other, find travel buddies and talk about the con :)

They rode for miles. Absolutely miles and miles and Clarke ached _everywhere_. Her ass hurt, her thighs hurt, and the wind that hit her face as they cut through the forest she was certain would leave marks. Her hands were cold from where she gripped the reins so tightly as if they were all that kept her from falling off. Her lips she knew would be blue and even her eyes felt cold. They were sore at the very least and her head was beginning to hurt from the amount of squinting she was doing; a pitiful attempt at protection from the temperate forest.

 

As they left Ton DC she didn't want to point out how much of an inexperienced rider she was but she did assume Lexa would already know that, seeing as how there weren't any horses in space. Or at least Clarke _hoped_ that Lexa would know that but by the occasional sideways glances she was getting from the Commander told her she was aware that Clarke was uncomfortable with their haste, but Lexa _had_ made it clear they needed to get to Polis as soon as possible.

 

Polis.

 

So, she was going to Polis. Clarke didn't really know how to feel about it, if she was honest. She was in another situation again; a perilous one, one she wasn't ready for but somehow she had to be. She had to be ready for this because whatever _this_ was would happen with or without her and as much as she wanted to leave it all behind and forget about it, she couldn't. Maybe Lexa was right. Maybe she _was_ born for this. Perhaps it was her purpose.

 

Hours passed as Clarke pondered such things. Her brow tightly knit in a firm furrow as different possibilities and scenarios formed and then disappeared just as quickly in her mind, not least of all whether she could trust the woman riding next to her. The fearless Commander. She was kind of blindly following her into this after all, and by default so were her people. Which really she could only half-heartedly say at best. It was going to have to be a convincing argument in Polis for her to take back to Camp Jaha.

 

Clarke closed her eyes at the mere thought of it. Her mother would be stubborn. Bellamy, Raven.. _all_ of them but really, so was she. Clarke hadn't survived this long, saved her people, got them back to Camp relatively safe and sound on luck alone. She _was_ just as formidable as Lexa, just as resourceful and as much as she didn't want to think about it; she was just as ruthless. Just as deadly. Just as committed to do the unthinkable to keep her people alive.

 

Clarke adjusted herself a little in her saddle and pushed out a breath. Just as much as she wondered if she should trust Lexa, she knew Lexa would be wondering the exact same thing about her in return. As she should, after all. Just because they'd shared a heated moment didn't mean all was forgotten. Clarke swallowed, furrowed her brow an inch more and felt her heart step up a beat. No, she shouldn't trust her. Not at all.

 

Eventually they stopped and Clarke had to hide her relief. She slid off her horse and felt the strain in her knees as her feet met the ground. Her back hurt and her head was killing. She hadn't slept in over a day and the cold air was making her skin prickle. She could still taste the alcohol as well, which definitely wasn't helping.

 

She heard Lexa tell her warriors something in Trigedasleng so she decided to just lean against the side of her horse and suck in some deep breaths, her eyes falling closed for just a few moments.

 

"Here," she heard Lexa's voice say. "Drink some water."

 

Clarke opened her eyes and focused on the canteen in front of her. She reached for it without question and took it from Lexa's hand, taking several very long, very deep mouthfuls of the refreshing liquid.

 

"You are aching."

 

It almost made Clarke smile. The Commander did like pointing out the obvious, sometimes. She swallowed down another mouthful with a loud gulp and then wiped at the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand, her attention then falling squarely on Lexa. She stretched her back and heard it pop in a few places and then she squinted, taking a quick look around. "Where is everyone?"

 

Lexa frowned at Clarke's obvious discomfort. "Scouting," she replied, her eyes taking in the rigid and tense muscles in Clarke's shoulders. "The path narrows ahead. We will need to be more careful."

 

Clarke raised her head a little and raised her brow. She had no idea of this terrain and she felt bad for it, for even though she'd spent many months wandering around in it, it was still foreign to her. Sometimes she felt like she recognised certain areas but honestly a lot of it looked the same. She knew they were closer to Camp Jaha, however, rather than to Ton DC but it was still so far off she didn't have to worry about coming into contact with anyone familiar. She shivered as she decided not to think about it and clasped her hands together in front of her.

 

Lexa eyed her more carefully. "You are cold."

 

Clarke did smile then, a bit. "That's because it is cold."

 

Lexa had been concerned for Clarke for quite a while. She knew she'd been uncomfortable riding at such a fast pace and for so long. Lexa did want to stop sooner so Clarke could recover but she knew it wasn't an option. The spy from the Ice Nation worried her. It worried her that Clarke had seen another one quite some time ago. It meant that she was infiltrated, and she had no idea how. Lexa's warriors were the best, the best of all the twelve clans. She had lead them into battle many times and she knew their might, their loyalty and their determination. So why was it the Ice Queen's spies were there? Within _her_ woods, and how did they know how to move so quietly, so stealthily on such terrain?

 

Had they been trained? If so by who? Or were they recruited from another clan more used to soft ground? She had more than one traitorous clan in her midst; Lexa knew it, however much she didn't want to accept it and they were getting ready to make their move.

 

Lexa shook her head and focused on Clarke's hands. Her knuckles were white and her fingers red from where the cold wind bit at them. She was holding them in fists trying to warm them and so on instinct Lexa reached out and cupped them between her hands, rubbing her thumbs quickly and somewhat soothingly over Clarke's cold skin and aching joints. It was only a matter of moments before Clarke relaxed her hands, a rather involuntary reaction as her fingers started to warm and straighten out from her fists under the careful touch.

 

Clarke just stared at her, utterly bemused, suddenly not aware of the bitter wind at all and just the Commander being, well... caring. It made her swallow absently and her throat went a little dry.

 

Lexa brought their hands up then and ducked her head down a little, blowing hotly into the centre of their joined hands. "You should not ride without gloves, Clarke," she said quietly, as if it was absolutely nothing at all. Like it was something she did every day, breathing hotly into the cold hands of, well, someone she cared about, maybe...

 

Clarke licked her lips. She knew Lexa cared for her. It was obvious in moments such as these and they never ceased to amaze her. Each time Lexa showed this side of herself it took Clarke's breath away. It was an amazing feeling and she could see why Costia had loved her, how easily she must have fallen for her and that in and of itself was tragic enough.

 

Clarke swallowed and then she blinked. She wouldn't allow herself to end up the same.

 

She coughed, albeit quietly and pulled herself out of it. They were alone against the shelter of Clarke's horse and Clarke was never more aware of the stillness that circled them as she was then. She lowered her voice as she watched the Commander, standing there in all her armour and war paint, continuing to warm her hands.

 

"I forgot them," Clarke admitted slowly but Lexa didn't respond, her gentle touches becoming slower with each passing moment.

 

Clarke chanced a look around in case one of Lexa's warriors were coming back. She couldn't see or hear anyone, so she assumed it was safe. She could read the Commander by now, she thought, even if this caring gesture had thrown her.

 

"You're worried," Clarke said, her voice as low as possible.

 

Lexa stopped and stared a little more intently at Clarke's hands but after a moment she let them go, taking a slight step back as she straightened her posture and levelled out her gaze at her companion. "We will know more when we get to Polis."

 

Despite herself Clarke missed the touch, if she as honest, and watched as Lexa slipped back into her Commander-like stance and so she squared her jaw, too. "What will happen when we get there?"

 

Lexa considered it for a moment before she answered, taking in a sharp breath. "I will meet with Luna. She will tell me the whispers of the other clans." She weighed up Clarke's reaction and noticed that she was becoming good at concealing her expressions, too. "I will know who stands with me."

 

Clarke frowned, a little, not altogether sure how the Commander knew who she could trust at all. "You have faith in Luna?"

 

There was no hesitation and her eyes took on a certain impertinence. "Yes," Lexa responded. "I have no doubt of her loyalty."

 

Clarke just nodded. Something must've happened, she thought, for Lexa to think this of Luna. She wanted to ask what it was but knew it wasn't the time.

 

"You at my side will sway any doubters," Lexa said matter-of-factly, her hands clasping behind her back.

 

Clarke blinked, then, and looked down as she exhaled. She knew why. "Because of the Mountain."

 

Lexa suddenly became a little taller, her shoulders a little broader. She was aware of course that Clarke still detested thinking of that. Of associating herself with it but unfortunately it was all the other clans knew of her. It was the thing that defined her, at least for the moment and Clarke would need to get used to that. "Word moves quickly," she said but with a certain softness in her tone. "Those who fear you will stand with us."

 

Clarke's brow furrowed as she looked back at the Commander, her eyes becoming a darker shade of blue. "And then we go to war."

 

Lexa didn't say respond, she simply confirmed it with the look in her eyes. It was inevitable, unless the Ice Queen stood down and honestly she couldn't see that happening. Lexa exhaled, pausing for a few moments before she took off her gloves and handed them to Clarke. "Here," she said and then she turned away. "We have much of the journey before us."

 

It was a good few minutes before Lexa's warriors returned. Dax huddled with Lexa a few paces away while Zeek and Jael simply mounted their horses so Clarke figured there mustn't be any imminent danger. She wanted to go over and talk with Zeek to find out for sure but the way Jael was throwing her wary looks was enough to put her off. She looked over at them both but Zeek quickly looked away after he afforded her a small smile, his eyes back on the forest around them.

 

Clarke sighed; she would just have to find an opportunity to quiz the Commander about it later and so at a loss for anything else to do she put on Lexa's gloves that she found herself still holding. They were quite soft which was surprising, the fingers slightly too long as the Commander's hands were obviously bigger than hers but they were warm, very warm in fact and so Clarke was thankful.

 

She looked ahead of her toward the Commander as she pulled the material over her wrists and saw both Lexa and Dax mount their horses and so she quickly followed suit, Lexa dropping back a bit so they could resume their earlier formation.

 

"We will go slower now," Lexa said to her quietly, gesturing ahead with her chin. "The path is unsteady."

 

Clarke nodded, her horse following Lexa easily as she moved a few strides ahead. The forest was quiet around them, still, the late morning air settling with less bite than before. She clenched the reins in her palms and immediately felt the difference wearing the Commander's gloves. It made her think of Polis again, but less of war planning and more of the city itself. She wondered how vast it would be, and how many people it held. If there would be buildings and how big they might be. She wondered about Lexa's place in it all. Was she in charge of Polis? Was it her city? Who did Lexa answer to, if anyone at all?

 

Surely she did. It made Clarke's brow furrow. Lexa couldn't be in charge of _everything_ , could she? What if she was? It made Clarke's brow furrow rather considerably and she exhaled a breath. That would prove interesting and if it were true, where would Clarke sit in all this? Where would her people?

 

She sighed then, heavily. She didn't want any part in it if she was honest. A large part of her just wanted to curl up under some furs and sleep the rest of her time away. She didn't want stress or politics or war. She just wanted peace, just like what the Commander had said.

 

Clarke pushed her exposed fingertips into the material covering her palms. Lexa wanted peace, too, and Clarke wondered exactly what she'd been through to achieve it, only to see war coming again once more. She wondered how that made the Commander feel, or whether she didn't allow herself to feel anything of it at all. Perhaps it was easier for her that way.

 

Clarke swallowed a little uncomfortably. Maybe they weren't all that different, really, and maybe they did want the same things... Clarke tilted her head and stared into Lexa's back, getting a little mesmerised by the way in which she moved her shoulders along with the movement of her horse. It amazed her how soft Lexa could be, sometimes. How vicious, how brutal and then so gentle. Clarke had experienced it a few times now, and then the way in which Lexa tried to warm her up just now...

 

No. She didn't want that. If Lexa was sweet with her then Clarke's heart would get involved and she couldn't have that, could she? No. She couldn't. Clarke made a curt shake of her head to convince herself. Ruthless Lexa was intimidating and frightening, stubborn Lexa was annoying and infuriating to say the least but caring and compassionate Lexa with her inviting, longing green eyes, soft lips and gentle soul was... not something Clarke wanted to think about. Not at all.

 

She just couldn't.

 

This Lexa was the one she had to think about. The one riding just ahead with a steely look of grim determination on her face. The one who tortured that spy in the cells not so long ago. The one who made her knuckles sore and stained them red with his blood. The Lexa who didn't make decisions with her heart because that made things easier. Simpler, and that's what Clarke needed and besides, it wasn't enough to make up for anything. Clarke didn't think it ever would.

 

"Hod op."

 

Everyone stopped moving and Clarke was a little slow to catch on as lost in her thoughts as she was but luckily, her horse understood more Trigedasleng than she did. Clarke quickly tore her eyes around the mist in front of her and then glanced over at Lexa. "What is it?" she asked, her voice as quiet as possible.

 

Lexa was on high alert; her eyes analysing the land around her, feeling out any changes in the atmosphere and whether or not the mist was moving as if enemies were hiding within. Her shoulders were tense and her back ramrod straight. She couldn't see or smell anything but she could feel _something_ , somewhere, and then the tiny hairs on the back of her neck stood on end.

 

"Weron?" Lexa whispered, and it floated weightlessly over to her general.

 

Dax had turned his horse sideways as if to block the path to his Commander. He was a few yards ahead and his eyes were skimming the tree line. Jael had fallen much further back along the path and Zeek was between him and Clarke. Dax gestured with his chin to his right and Lexa seemed to know what that meant.

 

"Gyon au," she instructed, and then she turned to Jael. "Jael, gyon raun au en sis em au."

 

Clarke was getting confused, and rather panicked. "What's happening?" she demanded this time, turning her head to see Jael galloping off back the way they came.

 

Lexa glanced at Clarke. "Stay here."

 

Clarke immediately screwed up her face. "What?"

 

Lexa raised her voiced and completely ignored her. "Zeek, stay with Clarke. Do not leave her side." She dug her heels into her horse's sides and powered after Dax.

 

Clarke felt like following her, her heart quickly pumping her blood around her body like a juggernaut. Zeek was quickly at her side however, and he reached over her to hold onto her reins as her horse was getting jittery to match the behaviour of its rider.

 

He pulled back on the reins. "No," he murmured as if he could read Clarke's mind. He heard something, somewhere, but couldn't quite pinpoint its location. He could hear Clarke's heavy breathing next to him and he tried to listen past it. "Shhhhh," he instructed, as he sensed she was about to ask more questions. His frown became heavier as he heard something more; something louder, and something like a struggle.

 

Clarke however couldn't hear a damn thing. She was startled to say the least and unnerved by the way Zeek's attention was focused out into the distance. His facial expression determined and eyes focused on.. whatever they were focused on. Clarke tried to remain still, tried to control her body language and emotions so her horse would stay still.

 

Zeek suddenly turned to face the direction Dax and the Commander had gone in and his eyes got wider, his shoulders more set.

 

It sent a chill along Clarke's spine. "What is it?" she asked, as quietly as she possibly could.

 

"Come," he whispered, but then they both heard it. A loud commotion ahead of them. The sound of swords clashing and of arrows impacting wood.

 

Zeek pulled on both of their reins harshly. "Gyon au!" he shouted, digging his heels into the sides of his horse and momentarily pulling Clarke's along with him.

 

They both set off in the direction they came from, Zeek concerned only with getting Clarke out of danger. After only a few yards however, Clarke pulled back roughly on her reins and got her horse to stop.

 

"Wait," she sent after Zeek. "What about the Commander? And Dax? We can't leave them." She was worried about the sounds she had heard from before and besides, she wasn't one to run and hide.

 

Zeek quickly turned around and approached her. His eyes wide, the whites of them a stark contrast against the black war paint spread across his face. His expression was angry. "They are fine-"

 

"-You don't know that!" Her eyes were firey and just as adamant as his.

 

Zeek stood up a little in his stirrups, all the time his senses on high alert as to the danger around them. "My task is to protect you."

 

Clarke wasn't about to let his task get in the way of her morals and her instincts. "I don't need protecting."

 

An arrow shot down sharply then, landing just to the left of Clarke's horse making it rear up and turn around. Zeek managed to control his horse as both of them were now totally spooked. He dismounted as soon as he could and called for Clarke to do the same.

 

As soon as Clarke was on the ground Zeek pushed both horses away, one after the other making them run off in opposite directions.

 

"What are you doing?" Clarke demanded as she watched her horse disappear into the distance.

 

"We must get to cover," Zeek instructed, grabbing Clarke's arm and pulling her after him.

 

Another arrow hit as they ran, one after the other as Zeek lead them both into the forest, into the part that was thickest and provided the most camouflage. Clarke was panting and her heart was beating wildly, the adrenaline kicking in as her feet moved faster, Zeek shouting commands as they went about which way to go.

 

The arrows were coming in greater number, hitting everything but them and Clarke was surprised, but thankful nonetheless. Maybe the zigzag pattern Zeek was making her run in wasn't as crazy as she first thought.

 

"Get behind the tree!" Zeek shouted, and when Clarke focused ahead she saw a massive tree coming into view.

 

She dived behind it and Zeek did the same, her whole side pushing into the bark as she somehow tried to disappear into it. She closed her eyes for a moment and rested the side of her head on it as she tried to catch her breath.

 

"Who are they?" Clarke asked, her breathing completely ragged.

 

Zeek's tall, broad frame was towering over her, his forearms resting at either side of her head and when he spoke his voice came from somewhere above her. "Azgeda," he mumbled, as if the word left a nasty taste in his mouth.

 

Clarke frowned. "Are you sure?" Hadn't Lexa said Azgeda never came this far south? She swallowed and it scraped harshly at the back of her throat. Did this mean they were here? That war had begun? She straightened as her back went ramrod straight. _Surely not_ , her mind screamed. Not now. Not yet. What about her people? They were exposed, and they didn't know...

 

She went to say something but realised Zeek was gone. She spun on the spot so her back was flat against the tree and all she saw was forest. Her eyes darted around and her fingertips dug into the bark behind her. He wasn't there, and it made her wonder if he'd actually been behind the tree with her at all. She licked her lips and looked up but there was nothing but empty branches above her. Where the hell was he?

 

Then she heard them; footsteps behind her, behind her tree and to the left. Maybe a few yards and then there were voices. She had to strain to hear but they didn't belong to anyone she recognised. She sucked in a breath and swallowed again, her hand going for her gun but then she realised it wasn't there. All she had was a dagger and so she drew it even though she knew she could barely do any damage with it and for the first time since walking into Lexa's camp, she actually missed it.

 

The voices were nearly upon her and she made out at least three different ones, all coming from roughly the same place which meant they were moving together. Perhaps they weren't looking for her, because if they were then surely they wouldn't be talking. Clarke closed her eyes and took in a deep breath; this was it. She would turn on them and attack the closest one to her hoping the element of surprise would catch them off guard. It wasn't the best plan in the world but it would have to do.

 

Then suddenly there was stillness; a moment of calm as Clarke opened her eyes and turned her head in the direction the voices were coming from. Now however they were silent and there was no movement at all. Not a single footstep but then a loud crashing noise that flooded everything. A heavy thump and then a scream. The sound of blood and of flesh tearing. A gargling like a throat being cut.

 

For some reason Clarke stepped out, leaning around the tree and then in total awe she stepped to its side, her one hand remaining in contact with the bark through the tips of her fingers.

 

Zeek moved with such speed and with such ferocity that Clarke hardly recognised him at all. If it wasn't for his braids and his war paint she would've said he was someone else entirely.

 

There were three warriors around him as well as the one who was already dead on the ground; all of them of equal stature if not bigger than Zeek himself but it didn't phase him one bit. His face was snarling, his eyes intimidating and lips growling. He ducked down a little as he held his sword high, his left hand holding a dagger that pointed away from him. It only took him a fraction of a moment it seemed for him to size up his opposition and then he attacked, moving with a grace that didn't match his demeanour at all.

 

The first warrior Zeek hit in the face with the butt of his sword, tossing him to the side as if he was made of feathers. The next two pouncing on him simultaneously but Zeek moved quickly, succinctly dodging the swipes of their swords and then disarming the one closest to him before slicing through his sword arm altogether. The warrior stumbled backwards in a scream of pain, the blood coating Zeek's sword as well as spraying across his upper body.

 

Zeek spun around to face the third warrior, blocking the attack of his sword easily with his own and then swiping at him with his dagger. The warrior dodged the attack, barrelling forwards into Zeek to knock him off his feet. Zeek however didn't stay down, he rolled to the side after the impact but lost his dagger in the process, keeping a hold of his sword though so when he got to his feet he made a ferocious lunge toward his opponent who was slower in getting up. Zeek sliced at his body and caught the warrior across his chest and shoulder sending him backwards so Zeek advanced, growling loudly as he brought his sword down in the same spot, catching the already seeping wound and causing the warrior to shout out in pain, his opposite shoulder turning to bring his back to Zeek in an effort to protect himself.

 

Zeek though took the opportunity and kicked at the back of his legs, bringing the warrior down to his knees and without hesitation Zeek stepped up to his back, reached over his shoulder and pulled his sword through the flesh at the front of the warrior's neck.

 

The warrior fell forwards and hit the ground face first, Zeek standing stock still with his sword raised watching his enemy crumble before him.

 

Clarke had watched him in a trance, her eyes wide as they took in each movement, every crunching blow he delivered. She couldn't believe it, that Zeek was such a ruthless warrior. It shouldn't surprise her she knew but it did. All of Lexa's warriors were ruthless, even the ones just assigned to guard her or so it seemed.

 

In her trance she hadn't realised but the warrior Zeek originally pushed to the side had crept over to her and was only a few feet away when he made his presence known, rising to his full height from the shadows and raising his sword.

 

It was only half a second after Zeek had sliced the third warrior's throat and he spun as he realised, grabbing a throwing knife from the strap on his thigh but there was a flash of red that came out of nowhere, a flash of red that clouded Clarke's vision as she lurched away and fell backwards into the tree in shock.

 

Lexa came out of nowhere. Her long black coat and red sash billowing after her as her feet thudded against the ground, taking the unassuming warrior down in one fell swoop. The warrior, at least three times the size of the Commander fell harshly onto his side, grunting and growling as he went. Lexa then turned and drew her sword, arching it around her body as she unsheathed it from her shoulder.

 

Her eyes didn't leave her enemy, as Clarke's eyes didn't leave the Commander. Her face and coat were smeared with blood, the ferocity in her eyes unmistakable and the snarl on her lips one of utter disgust.

 

The warrior got up quickly, the only weapons available to him now a dagger and several knives along his belt. He took one out and immediately threw it at the Commander but she easily dodged it, his second coming into abrupt contact with her sword as she batted it away. He went for her then, as if he knew himself the end was near and didn't want to go out slowly. He tried to battle with her but she easily fought him off, punching him in all of his weak spots as if she had done it a thousand times before.

 

Clarke suspected she probably had.

 

She fended off his dagger thrusts and in one quick turn, as her sash followed her around in an elegant circle she dropped to one knee and sliced through his side with her sword. Clarke flinched as she did it, his blood curdling scream bouncing off every tree in the near vicinity.

 

He toppled over, grabbing onto his side as he too crumbled, just like the two before him by Zeek's hand. Lexa got to her feet and stood over him, looking down at him as if this was just another day. Just another kill, just another life of the enemy lost.

 

Lexa flipped her sword in her hand, her skin now stained with so much blood that Clarke felt the material of the Commander's gloves against her own so much more than she had before. She curled her fingers into it as she heard the crack of Lexa's sword as it penetrated the warrior's chest, puncturing organs and flesh on its way through his body and to the ground.

 

After a moment Lexa drew it out and held it loosely at her side, staring down at her victim before she looked up and at Clarke, her eyes perhaps as empty as Clarke had ever seen them.

 

Zeek came over then and stood at his Commander's side.

 

Clarke just swallowed as she tried to process the images she had just seen before her. The Commander was vicious in battle but had she expected any less?

 

"How many are there?" Clarke asked after a moment, taking a few steps forward.

 

Lexa focused on her. "Enough," she responded flatly, her eyes however gaining a little more colour.

 

The blood on Lexa's face reminded Clarke of the mountain, of just before the betrayal and she had to force her thoughts away from it. It was strange, though. Ominous and unnerving. Lexa in war was relentless. Clarke had just seen it and that was just one man.

 

"Dax and Jael are past the rock formation to the east," Lexa continued, wiping her sword on her coat before re-sheathing it. "We must-"

 

More arrows struck and they ducked, all of them jumping for the nearest tree as they seemed to litter the ground around them. Zeek was behind a tree of his own and Lexa had jumped to the same one as Clarke, the big one she was behind before. It was plenty big enough to shield both of them.

 

Clarke was hunched over a little with Lexa behind her, her body curling around her instinctively. Lexa's right forearm was resting against the tree and Clarke was sort of tucked into the cradle of her arm.

 

"Where are they coming from?" Clarke asked, having no idea how they were going to escape this.

 

Lexa knew there couldn't be many as she had surveyed the area from the trees before jumping down and knew it was impossible for more than two to be hiding close enough to fire at them. "Not far," she answered, moving her head back to try and peer around the side of the tree.

 

A few more arrows hit which made Lexa quickly pull her head back in. She cursed herself for moving into this position. The size of the tree made it difficult to get a decent throwing advantage at where the arrows were coming from.

 

Zeek though was in an optimum position. She turned her head to him but he was already getting ready to strike. He looked at her and waited for the nod which she gave him and then he leapt up the tree, easily getting to the first branch which was all he needed. The knife left his hand cleanly and moments later a strangled breath could be heard and then a thud to the ground.

 

It was the advantage they needed. Zeek dropped back down as Lexa turned Clarke around, pushing her forwards. "We must get to Dax and Jael," she whispered authoritatively. Zeek nodded and Clarke followed him as they began to move, Lexa at the rear but then she was struck. She went down silently but she went down hard.

 

Clarke turned and her breath caught in her throat. "Lexa!"

 

More arrows came from the opposite direction and Zeek immediately dived in front of Clarke, bringing her down and covering the Commander as well. "Heda," he groaned, his face dropping as he realised what happened. He got to his knees, "Heda!"

 

Lexa winced in pain, an arrow deep in the middle of her thigh and it was bleeding profusely. She grabbed at either side of it and swallowed an outrageous gasp of agony. There was another sound of someone dropping from a tree but no one paid attention, Clarke just scrambling to her knees and ripping the material from the lower part of her shirt.

 

She was frantic, but tried to remain as calm as she could. This was bad. The position of the arrow, the amount of blood, everything. She swallowed as she tied the material around Lexa's thigh, pulling on the knot tightly.

 

Lexa was going faint, the pain in her whole leg excruciating as it hit her in spasms, the pounding seeming to travel into her body burst by burst.

 

"This isn't good," Clarke whispered, trying to think what to do.

 

Zeek looked at the arrow. "We must pull it out," he said quickly, moving his hands to it.

 

Clarke put her hand on his shoulder. "No!" she warned him. "We don't know what its hit."

 

Zeek removed his hands and looked panicked. His eyes were wide and he clearly had no idea what to do. He pulled his lips through his teeth. "We must get her to TonDC."

 

Clarke sighed as she tried to weigh up the options, glad more than anything else that the arrows had stopped even if it was just for the moment. She felt Lexa's wrist for her pulse and luckily it was still strong but the ride back to TonDC was long. Perhaps too long and Clarke wasn't convinced the healers there would know what to do, especially with how much blood Lexa would lose on the way.

 

She made a decision and then looked at Zeek, knowing it wasn't going to go down well. She pushed out a hard breath. "We need to get her to Camp Jaha," she said as her eyes hardened in determination. "She needs my mother."

 

**

 

Zeek blinked, and then he blinked again as thought after thought rushed through his mind. He had no experience in this. He wasn't a leader. His Commander was down, wounded heavily and his general was nowhere in sight.

 

He swallowed as he glanced down at his Commander and then quickly back up to Clarke who was glaring at him with impatience. Perhaps even desperation. He shuffled, a bit, highly aware that there was a good probability of more archers in the trees. More Azgeda perhaps even advancing on their position.

 

"Zeek," Clarke pressed, but then he shook his head.

 

A part of him supposed he should submit to Clarke. The one person his Heda ordered him to protect no matter the cost. She was a leader in her own right, of course. The Heda of the Sky People, the person who had taken down the Mountain almost singlehandedly but what she wanted was impossible. The Commander of the twelve clans wounded, vulnerable and weak and Clarke wanted _him_ personally to carry her into the camp of an unaligned clan. A rival clan. A clan that more than likely wanted her dead and he was supposed to entrust her life to them?

 

"No," he breathed, his head shaking harder the more he thought about it.

 

Clarke was quickly frustrated and she leaned over Lexa's body. "She's losing blood, Zeek, there's no way she'll make it to TonDC," she snapped as she glared at him fiercely. "You know that."

 

He looked at the Commander's wound conflicted, his forehead getting more screwed up by the second.

 

Clarke though wasn't prepared to wait for him to come to a rational decision. Lexa was getting stiller by the moment, her moans of pain becoming quieter and her actions sluggish. "She's going to die if she's not treated-"

 

"-Our healers-"

 

"-Are not good enough!" Clarke shook her head and bared her teeth, her eyes becoming a little frenzied. She wasn't about to let Lexa slip away, not like this. She'd knock Zeek out and carry Lexa herself if that's what it took. "I'm telling you," she began. "No. I'm ordering you. We're getting her to Camp Jaha."

 

Zeek blurted it out, then. His worry scrambling to the surface. "She will not be safe there."

 

Clarke exhaled sharply and then tried to relax her eyes. She of course understood his concern but there really was no other option. Not if he wanted his Heda to live. "She will," she pushed out, and then she hardened herself for the next bit. "You have my word."

 

Zeek still looked doubtful. He moved his eyes to Lexa whose eyes were rapidly going in and out of focus. "Heda," he pressed as he leaned over her, willing her to give him an order. When he got nothing he simply tugged on her arm. "Heda..."

 

"Dax," Lexa slurred in a gravelly voice, surprising them both. Her eyes clenched shut again, the pain shooting up her entire side. "Lok Dax op."

 

Clarke squeezed Lexa's wrist as she looked at Zeek.

 

"Sha, Heda," Zeek responded, getting to his feet.

 

Before Clarke could say anything Dax appeared seemingly out of nowhere, his sword drawn and armour covered in blood. He was panting but when he saw Lexa on the ground he stopped moving, his eyes widening as he took in the sight before him.

 

He sheathed his sword and quickly covered the short distance between them. "Heda," he breathed as he knelt at her side and next to Clarke. He surveyed her wound and then flicked his attention to her face. "Heda," he repeated, quickly gauging the severity of her injury when Lexa's head simply rolled to the side, her lips murmuring something incomprehensible.

 

Clarke just shook her head. "Look, we don't have much time..." she trailed off, really not wanting to have to try and convince Dax about her Camp Jaha plan, too. She might've been able to coerce Zeek but, Dax was something else altogether.

 

"No," Dax agreed quickly before he toughened himself up. He was in charge of this situation now and his Heda's life depended on the decisions he would make. He met Clarke's gaze. "Will she survive?"

 

The question surprised Clarke as she wasn't expecting it at all. Honestly she expected him to drag Lexa back to TonDC no matter how much she protested. "Maybe," Clarke responded shallowly. "The wound doesn't look good. She needs treatment, fast."

 

Dax frowned. "TonDC is too far."

 

Clarke was immensely relieved but she didn't let her expression show it, the commotion behind them getting louder by the second. Nearer. Perhaps it was Clarke's nerves but she was picking up on everything now, hearing it louder in her ears. Heavy feet as they moved on hard ground.

 

Dax licked his lips. "We don't have much time," he said quietly as he got to his feet, gesturing toward the Commander with his hand. "Zeek, sis Heda op."

 

Clarke got to her feet, too, frowning a little. "What?"

 

Dax glared at Zeek. "Nau!" he hissed, wanting to convey his command without attracting undue attention and then he turned to Clarke. "There are warriors, many, further east." He lifted his chin to the noise that was bearing down on them. "I tracked these, moved around them. They do not know the woods as we do." He shook his head. "They are strangers."

 

Clarke nodded. "Ice Nation."

 

Dax pursed his lips. "Perhaps." He looked over his shoulder as he watched Zeek carefully lift up the Commander who grunted and fidgeted in pain. He looked back at Clarke. "You have a plan for Heda." It was a statement and Clarke suspected he already knew.

 

Clarke stood firm. "What she needs you don't have. What TonDC doesn't have."

 

Dax just stared at her and so Clarke levelled out her chin. "I can't remove that arrow without the tools to clean up after it and even then..." she paused, flicking her eyes away for a moment as she took in a deep breath. "...She needs my mother."

 

Dax didn't even flinch and he knew this would likely mean his head. Indra surely would go berserk but all he did was look out to the woods beyond Clarke's shoulder. "They are too close," he stated. "We will not slip past them. Not on horseback." It only took a few moments for him to decide what had to be done. Not even that to be fair. His eyes steeled over and his shoulders went back. "I will distract them, lead them away." He turned to Zeek and examined the crumpled form of the Commander in his arms. "Get to the river, summon the horses and ride for Camp Jaha."

 

Zeek just stared wide eyed at his general but before he could protest Dax cut him off, the hard line in his voice severe. "Sen Klark in. Dula em chich op." Dax knew Clarke would take the lead with Zeek anyway and wouldn't think twice about it, but he had to be sure Zeek would listen to her. "Ai na komba gona kom TonDC." He strengthened the look in his eyes;; tripling the severity in them and when he spoke his voice rumbled. He never hid what he felt for his Commander and refused to start now. "Yu gada Heda sonraun in, get klin em kik thru".

 

Zeek just swallowed and nodded his head.

 

Clarke was getting more and more nervous having no idea what Dax was saying, all she could do was focus on the footsteps she was certain were no more than a few yards away.

 

She turned to Dax and pushed out a whisper at him. "We have to go!"

 

Dax tore his eyes from Zeek and looked at Clarke as he nodded his head. He drew his sword and pointed to the trees in the opposite direction. "Go that way, toward the river. Zeek knows it." He stepped closer to Clarke as Zeek headed for the trees, clinging tightly and possessively to the Commander in his arms. "You will not be followed."

 

Clarke became concerned, then. "Won't they be too many for you?"

 

Dax simply smirked. "I will find my way to Jael and inform TonDC of this. It will mean war much sooner than expected."

 

Clarke just swallowed as a cold chill trickled down her spine at the mention of the word. She nodded and went to move past him but Dax grabbed her forearm and held onto it tightly.

 

He lowered his voice and his eyes became as chilling as she had ever seen them. "If Heda dies inside your camp it will not end well for you. Or your people." Clarke was startled and she shuddered, not expecting such a thing from him even in the least. "That is the risk you take with this plan." They were both like statues for a moment before he squeezed her arm even tighter. "Do you understand?"

 

Clarke's brow furrowed and her eyes narrowed immediately. She nodded, but it was only slight. "It's the only plan we have," she whispered, her voice suddenly challenging.

 

Dax exhaled and released her arm as he took a few steps backwards. "Then ride fast." He turned and darted into the thick tree line, advancing toward the oncoming warriors.

 

Clarke pushed out a breath and shook her head, quickly turning on her heel as she ran up to Zeek. "Let's go," she grumbled, and then followed him toward the river.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
>  Translations.   
>  **
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **"Hod op."**  
>  _"Wait."_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Weron?"**  
>  _"Where?"_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Gyon au."**  
>  _"Go."_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Jael, gyon raun au en sis em au."**  
>  _"Jael, go around and assist him."_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Azgeda."**  
>  _"Ice Nation."_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Lok Dax op."**  
>  _"Find Dax"._
> 
>  
> 
> **"Sha, Heda."**  
>  _"Yes, Commander."_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Zeek, sis Heda op."**  
>  _"Zeek, take the Commander."_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Nau!"**  
>  _"Now!"_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Sen Klark in. Dula em chich op."**  
>  _"Listen to Clarke. Do as she says."_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Ai na komba gona kom TonDC."**  
>  _"I will bring warriors from TonDC."_
> 
>  
> 
> **"Yu gada Heda sonraun in, get klin em kik thru".**  
>  _"You have Heda's life, make sure she survives."_


	8. eit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke finally returns to the Ark and has to deal with being back with her people again while Lexa's life hangs in the balance. Interactions with Abby, Kane, Lincoln and Bellamy while Zeek has to deal with new people and strange surroundings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it's almost time for Copenhagen Comic Con! :D Sooooooo excited! And well nervous but you know ;)
> 
> Okay so let me know what you think of this chapter. As always you can find me on [Twitter](http://twitter.com/talented_gemx) or [Tumblr](http://talentedgemx.tumblr.com), and if you're going to ClexaCon and/or are interested in attending a Clexa meet in London in November then let me know! :)

The adrenaline pumped through Clarke's veins like wildfire. Her heartbeat thumping so she could feel it everywhere. Her body warm as they cut like bullets through the forest. She had never rode a horse so fast before, a thought going to it every now and then before she'd forget about it again. There were far more important things to be concerned with; not least of all what they were riding away from. Would Dax even survive it? Would he make it back to TonDC? What if they were being followed?

 

Clarke looked over her shoulder every few metres to be sure. Just to check. Not that they were being particularly stealthy. They were riding like the wind with not much regard as to who saw them. They just needed to get to Camp Jaha, the sooner the better. Lexa needed to.

 

It wasn't until Clarke started to recognise the approach that she felt an uncomfortable pulling in her chest. Like suddenly there was something in her throat that just wouldn't clear, no matter how many times she swallowed.

 

She was going to see her mother. Raven. Bellamy. _Jasper_.

 

The last one made her lick her lips. She felt inexplicably nervous and she almost reared up her horse. Almost pulled on her reins not caring at all that it would make her fall off.  Maybe that would be better. If she was unconscious, or something.

 

She shook her head as a stern frown covered her brow. She needed to be better than this. Stronger. Lexa needed her. As did Zeek. As did everyone. This was going to speed things up that was for sure. Plunge her people into the very real possibility of war much sooner than she'd expected and that was if Lexa was able to survive her wound. Was able to survive being in the Sky people's camp at all, for that matter. If she didn't, well... Clarke had no idea what would happen.

 

She focused her attention on Zeek riding up ahead, setting the pace for both of them atop Lexa's horse with Lexa slumped in front of him. Clarke was riding the same horse as before, a little more frantically this time though. Every inch of her body taught as she held herself off the saddle, her thighs clenched tightly to hold herself on.

 

Zeek suddenly slowed his pace and miraculously Clarke's horse did the same.  She caught her breath and came up to his side, trying to keep her heart rate steady however impossible that was.

 

"What is it?" she asked, taking note of Zeek's apprehensive body language. His eyes were flicking from tree to tree upon the horizon.

 

"We are approaching your camp," he said quietly, to which Clarke simply nodded. She was very much aware of that fact. He then moved his focus to her. "You should lead us."

 

Clarke swallowed and allowed her eyes to lower to Lexa's lifeless form. "How is she?"

 

Zeek looked at to his Commander and if it were possible he seemed to become a little forlorn. He shook his head and then hardened his expression as if catching himself, his eyes flicking back to Clarke. "Alive," he murmured with a sternness to his voice as if he couldn't think anything else.

 

Clarke just nodded and pulled on her reins to the side, digging her heels in a little so they could get moving. Regardless of how she felt about her reception at Camp Jaha, she needed to get Lexa there and to be honest she was sick of going over it in her head.

 

It wasn't long at all before Clarke knew the gates of Jaha would come into view. She bit back her nerves and pressed her teeth into her lip, busying herself with wondering what she should say when they got there in order for the guards to open the gates without much delay. They didn't have time for anything else. She glanced a look over her shoulder and saw Zeek's one hand pressed to the Commander's hip, his attention mostly on Lexa's limp body and it made Clarke's heartbeat jump even more so into her throat, a severe sinking feeling taking root in her gut.

 

She had no idea how this was going to go. She just hoped her mother would do as she asked without too many questions or any hesitation.

 

Clarke would've laughed if the whole thing wasn't so bleak.

 

Of course her mother _would_ ask questions.

 

"Clarke!"

 

Clarke reared her horse suddenly, somehow managing to stay on but she had no idea how. She spun around trying to find the source of who called her. Luckily Zeek was a much better rider than she was and he was able to steer Lexa's horse around her without a problem.

 

"Clarke!" The voice came again.

 

She saw a figure in the distance start running toward them and Zeek immediately went for his sword.

 

"No," Clarke breathed, inching her horse forward a little so it wasn't so obvious the injured Commander was with them. Whoever it was didn't want to kill her, after all. If they did she'd be dead already.

 

Zeek's body went rigid, leaning slightly over Lexa in his lap and his one hand on a knife ready to throw at a moment's notice. His skin crawled with how much he didn't like this. Any of it. But he was a good soldier. He'd follow orders as long as he trusted Clarke.

 

"Clarke! I can't believe it!"

 

Clarke narrowed her eyes, a feeling of relief quickly washing through her. "Lincoln."

 

**

 

Lincoln came to a stop beside her, a genuine look of happiness sweeping over his face. It didn't last long however, when he noticed Zeek hanging back just behind her. "What's wrong?" he asked, frowning. He noticed the body slumped over Zeek's lap and he was surprised, not quite believing it. He recognised the Commanders cloak as well as her horse and then he filled with dread. "What happened?"

 

"I don't have time to explain," Clarke replied quickly. "We need to get her to camp. Now."

 

Lincoln nodded, a hundred questions rifling through his mind but he dismissed them. His eyes fell on Lexa and he swallowed, the action scratching at his throat. "Okay," he responded, looking at Clarke with an expression that projected he thought none of this was going to be easy.

 

Not at all.

 

Clarke knew it, and she could see the warning in his eyes. She nodded and Lincoln stepped closer to her horse.

 

"Let me get up front," he said, and Clarke shuffled back a little knowing if the guards mostly saw him, then they would open the gates quicker.

 

Clarke licked her lips and looked back at Zeek whose eyes were stocked full of apprehension. She gave him a slight nod and then swallowed heavily as her eyes dropped to Lexa's still lifeless body.

 

"They won't like this," Lincoln said to her, quietly and slowly as they started to ride off. "None of them will."

 

Clarke sighed as she held onto his waist. "I know."

 

**

 

"Open the gates!" Lincoln yelled when they were within earshot of the entrance to camp. "Now!"

 

They came to a stop a few yards from the gates, Lincoln's expression determined as Clarke clung to his back, her head buried between his shoulder blades. Zeek hung even further back, his hand braced on the hilt of his sword.

 

"Who's with you?" Someone asked. Clarke didn't recognise the voice.

 

"I found them in the forest," Lincoln started, not quite sure really what to say. "One of them is injured." He shook his head. "Badly. Now open the gates."

 

There was silence for a few minutes and some whispering as Clarke presumed the guards were deciding whether or not to comply.

 

The guard moved a little to the side to try and peer around Lincoln. He gestured to Zeek with his gun. "He's one of them."

 

Lincoln sighed and Clarke heard Zeek snarl at the distaste in the guards tone. This was getting them nowhere. She gripped onto Lincoln's waist a little harder.

 

Lincoln though, was starting to get frustrated. "Open the gates!"

 

"What's going on?"

 

The guards moved aside as Kane strode up to their post. He looked at each of them in turn and then met Lincoln's gaze across the short distance. He tilted his head at the rider behind him and frowned, a little.

 

"Who are they?" he asked, taking note of the slumped figure across the front of the second horse. He became a little concerned.

 

Lincoln sighed. He moved the horse a little closer to the gates. "Marcus, we have to get them to medical," he grimaced, not sure how to reiterate the importance of getting the Commander inside without saying it was actually the Commander. He knew how bad it would be for them if Lexa were to die even outside of their gates. The trikru would descend on them with the might of the whole Coalition. "Please," he almost choked. "Open the gates."

 

Marcus weighed it up in his head. Lincoln he of course trusted, but what if he was being coerced? What if the person behind him on that horse was holding a knife at his back? What if once the gates were opened a group rushed them from behind the tree line? Lincoln's eyes seemed sincere though, if not a little panicked.

 

Marcus exhaled; even if he was being coerced, he couldn't let whoever those people were take Lincoln. He was one of them, now. Marcus leaned toward one of the guards ready to give his orders when his attention was taken by the figure behind Lincoln as they slid off the horse and quickly walked forward, stopping a yard or so away.

 

"Clarke..." Lincoln warned as he felt her dismount their horse. She ignored him as she walked closer, her eyes focused on Kane.

 

"Clarke," Marcus gasped, a ripple murmuring throughout the guards.

 

"Marcus," Clarke swallowed as she came to a stop as close as her feet would let her. "Let us in, please." She was glad it was him; at least Marcus could be reasoned with. At least he respected the Commander or rather, at least he used to. She hoped he still did.

 

Marcus stepped away from the guard post and moved closer to the gate. His eyes were wide and his expression one of shock. He swallowed heavily. "Clarke, where have you been?"

 

After a moment Clarke shook her head, knowing the soft route was the way to go. "We don't have time. I'll explain it all, I promise," her expression scrunched up a little, then. "But we need to get inside."

 

Marcus seemed to take her at her word. "Why?" and then he glanced at the second horse again. He had no issue letting her inside, or Lincoln. "What's going on?" Then, and only then he noticed the red sash, the long black coat and his eyes became a little wider, his heart pounding a little quicker, too. "Who is that?"

 

Clarke knew he knew, and she prayed he wouldn't make a big deal of it. She took another step forward, her eyes taking on a panicked look as well. "Please, I can explain, but if I don't get her inside she's going to die."

 

Marcus shifted his attention back to Clarke and away from the angry looking grounder who looked like he would protect the person in his lap with his last breath. Right then Marcus didn't need Clarke to confirm it. He knew that person was Lexa, and he knew if Clarke was bringing her here then she must be desperate. That the situation must be dire.

 

Marcus all of a sudden could hear his guards whispering behind him. Clarke's name being the hot topic on their lips and so he turned to them. "Quiet!" he demanded, and then he swallowed. "Open the gates!"

 

Clarke sighed in relief and she momentarily closed her eyes.

 

But the gates didn't move.

 

Marcus waved his arm at his guards and raised his voice. "I said open the gates!"

 

It earned the attention of everyone milling around the entrance to the Ark and they all turned to look.

 

Clarke got back up on the horse as the gates finally started to open. "Let's go," she shouted, and Lincoln took off toward the Ark with Zeek in tow.

 

**

 

Lincoln lead the way through the Ark, Zeek refusing to let anyone handle the Commander other than himself. Clarke strode behind them, breathing heavily as she kept up with their furious pace. She felt the apprehension prickle at the skin at her neck, the metal walls of the Ark almost closing in on her, or so it felt. She fought to keep her mind focused; to pay no attention to the people they passed. The people she knew she would recognise if she looked at them. She couldn't. She had to confront her mother; everyone else would have to wait. Marcus had caught up with them by the time Zeek pulled Lexa from his horse and he walked closely behind Clarke, the nervousness gripping him, too.

 

They got to medical without anyone stopping them. Without running into anyone who would dare pull Clarke aside and that in and of itself Clarke considered, was a small mercy. Lincoln strode in first and Zeek followed, stopping just inside the entrance.

 

Clarke gestured to an empty gurney. "Put her there," she instructed, and Zeek obliged.

 

The Commander groaned as Zeek put her down, her back arching up and then she leaned over on her one elbow, a little. Her forehead contorting in all sorts of pain.

 

Zeek stayed close, his eyes though flicking from his Heda to all corners of the room, surveying his surroundings in case someone should make a move and then Abby rounded a corner from the back on hearing the commotion.

 

"What the...." she trailed off, her eyes widening on the sight of her daughter just standing there, in the middle of medical as if she'd never left. "Clarke," she breathed, striding over and wrapping her up in an air tight hug, her eyes squeezing shut.

 

"Mom," Clarke sighed, her eyes falling closed for a moment too as her hand wrapped around and pressed to the centre of her mom's back.

 

Abby smiled, as big a smile as she could ever remember giving as she felt the tears begin to form behind her eyes. "Where have you been?" she asked, her voice nothing more than a whisper.

 

Clarke just swallowed not knowing at all where to begin. Not sure exactly what to say for the best but it didn't matter. Abby let her go, her eyes quick to fall on the brutish grounder standing by the wall and then she looked to the gurney.

 

Abby bristled as she took a step back and then her attention whipped back to Clarke. "What the-"

 

"-I don't have time to explain," Clarke interrupted, becoming a lot more confident than she felt in that moment. More like there was a purpose and she felt the adrenaline start to carry her away. "She needs your help, mom. She's injured."

 

Abby was more than shocked. More than confused and definitely angry, really, if she could decipher her emotions. "That's Lexa."

 

Clarke heard Zeek's disapproval at the lack of Abby using Lexa's title so she made her voice a little louder. "Yes, mom. So you have to save her."

 

Abby got annoyed, then. "I don't have to do anything," she responded rather flippantly. "She betrayed us, Clarke. Left you to die-"

 

Clarke pushed out a breath, her eyes closing as she felt that one somewhere in her gut. "-I know."

 

Abby frowned, heavily. "Then why bring her here?" she asked before she thought for a moment. "Why are _you_ bringing her here?" she thought was more to the point. Surely Clarke hadn't joined them... joined forces with Lexa... Abby shook her head at the very idea.

 

Clarke glared at her, her eyes imploring. "Because she _needs_ you. _I_ , need you." Her voice was loud, now. She had no idea how long Lexa had and this conversation was wasting time. She glanced over her shoulder and then back at her mother. "There is another reason, mom. An important one and I promise I'll explain it to you, but not now. The wound is bad, please, mom."

 

Abby sighed and rested her weight on her hip, her head tilting to the side just a little, too. It was a moment or so before she responded. "You want me save her life? After what she did?"

 

Zeek cut a glance at Abby, his hand on his sword once more.

 

Clarke though held out a hand to him. Her voice was low and her eyes a little glossy. "Mom please, with what's coming we'll need her onside. Trust me."

 

Abby glanced at Marcus as a lot of things flew through her mind, not least of all whether or not her daughter had been brain washed by the other side? She _seemed_ like Clarke, though. Marcus held her gaze and simply nodded his head.

 

Abby looked back at Clarke. "Fine," she sighed and then she glared at her. "But I want answers."

 

Clarke sighed in relief. "You'll get them."

 

Abby turned to Lincoln. "Wheel her over here."

 

Lincoln went to the gurney and started to move it in the direction Abby was walking in and then she pointed at Zeek. "You can stay there," she instructed sternly. "Clarke I need you to assist."

 

"I stay with Heda," Zeek growled, there being absolutely no way he was leaving her side. None.

 

Clarke walked over to the gurney.

 

"Do you want me to save her or not?" Abby retorted, attempting to stare down Zeek.

 

"Mom," Clarke said, raising her voice again. "He can stay."

 

Abby just glared at her.

 

So Clarke glared back. "He's her guard. He won't do anything unless she's attacked."

 

Abby was gearing up to argue but Lincoln butted in.

 

"I'll watch him."

 

Lexa groaned again which gained everyone's attention.

 

"Mom please!"

 

Abby sighed. "Alright!" She glanced at Lincoln. "He makes a move, stop him."

 

Clarke's patience was shot. "Can we start?!"

 

Abby just eyed her in warning finding all of this rather absurd. She had so many questions. Had Clarke been with Lexa all this time? Why was she so intent on saving her life after what happened at the mountain? What was coming that was so bad? Why did she leave in the first place and what made her think she could just show up and start demanding things?

 

It was a good job she was high on the fact that her daughter was alive, seemingly well and back. At least for the moment.

 

"I'll wait outside," Marcus said, his voice by far the calmest in the room. "Stop anyone from coming in."

 

Abby watched him walk away and with one last tense look in Clarke's direction, she got to work.

 

**

 

The bleeding had stopped, the arrow was out and the wound was strapped but Lexa had long since passed out on the table. She was stable, though, and alive so Clarke considered it a win. She was standing over Lexa, her hands covered in blood and she was idly wiping them with a damp cloth. It wasn't really working, though, but she didn't much care.

 

Zeek looked concerned, having no idea what just happened. There had been a lot of blood, and the healer seemed to be doing more damage than she was repairing. A few times he had gone for his sword when she'd shouted something at Clarke and when she'd made his Commander scream out in pain. It was only Clarke who had stopped him, throwing him reprimanding looks each time he reached for his weapon. The traitor had stepped closer to him a few times as well and Zeek would've easily knocked him down but Clarke told him 'no', at that point, and it made him stand stoically back in his position at the head of Lexa's bed.

 

Clarke was frazzled to say the least. Zeek was only doing his job but she could've done without it, a couple of times. The last thing she needed was a fight breaking out in the operating room and now it was all over she could feel the looks her mother was throwing her and it was making her tense. More or less stiff all over and she honestly felt like she'd be better off out in the woods.

 

"Clarke," Abby exhaled, pulling her from her reverie. She looked at her mother who simply gestured her head toward the door in the corner and raised her eyebrows.

 

Clarke looked down at Lexa. "We need to make sure she doesn't haemorrhage."

 

"She won't," Abby reassured her. "The wound's stable."

 

"We must return to TonDC," Zeek said as he stepped forward.

 

Everyone turned to him but Abby was the one to speak first. "You're not going anywhere."

 

Clarke closed her eyes for a moment and sighed.

 

Lincoln automatically stood with his back to the door, practically blocking the exit which of course made Zeek go for his sword.

 

Clarke raised her palms in the air. "Everyone calm down," she looked at Zeek. "We can't leave yet-"

 

Zeek thrust his chin at Abby. "-She said Heda is stable."

 

Clarke pinned him with her gaze and shook her head. "Not for travel. She can't put any weight on her leg yet."

 

"Heda should not stay here."

 

Clarke knew that was true, she was only thankful Lexa wasn't yet conscious. She nodded. "I know, but she has to. For the moment."

 

"No one is leaving here till I get answers," Abby spoke up, apparently annoyed at not leading the conversation. Clarke looked at her and Abby lowered her voice. "You've got some explaining to do."

 

Clarke swallowed and nodded her head. She knew it was only a matter of time before other's demanded answers of her too. All of her friends and probably those who were no longer her friends as well. Abby turned and headed for the next room.

 

Clarke turned to Zeek. "I'll be in the next room. Guard her, but don't draw your sword first." Zeek went to protest but Clarke spoke over him. "I won't be long." She stepped away from him and approached Lincoln, regarding him with a heavy expression. "If anything happens," she started in a low voice, "please hold them off till I get here."

 

Lincoln pulled his eyes away and clenched his jaw.

 

"Please, Lincoln."

 

"I owe her nothing," he stated quite dangerously, glaring down at Clarke.

 

She sucked in a breath. "You helped us in the woods-"

 

"-That was different."

 

"It wasn't," Clarke pushed out, and then she sighed. "Look, I'm not asking you to fight-"

 

"-Good."

 

"Just help me prevent any more deaths."

 

Lincoln knew she was right. He looked down between them and exhaled loudly. It was a moment before he looked back at her. "You just better get back here before anyone finds out she's here," he whispered quietly. "Even if you don't want revenge, there are others that do."

 

After a moment Clarke nodded, his words stirring something unpleasant in her stomach and then she turned and followed her mother out of the room.

 

**

 

Clarke closed her eyes as she shut the door behind her, a moment passing before she turned to her mother and when she did she was suddenly wrapped up in Abby's arms. It wasn't what she was expecting but slowly, Clarke's hands came up and hugged Abby back.

 

"Where have you been?" Abby croaked after a minute or so, a few moments of holding her daughter and making sure she was real, making sure she was whole and in one piece. She couldn't hold the emotion in and Abby felt the tears sting her eyes.

 

Clarke just sank into the embrace and relaxed against her mother's familiar frame. She sighed and her breath juddered as she pushed it out.

 

"I've been so worried," Abby said as she gripped Clarke tighter. "We looked for you."

 

"I know," Clarke breathed, and then after a moment; "I'm okay."

 

Abby pulled back and tried to get her emotions in order. She took in a deep breath and held Clarke at either side of her face. "Are you?"

 

Clarke swallowed and then nodded, blinking a few times to stop herself from getting overwhelmed although it was difficult. This onslaught of emotion was unexpected and her chest hitched, a little. "Yeah."

 

Abby smiled, her brow furrowing as her thumbs rubbed a little along Clarke's cheekbones. She nodded in return and then kissed her on the forehead before she dropped her hands and took a few steps back. Abby took in a deep, cleansing breath, turned her back and then wiped at her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest before she turned back again.

 

Clarke breathed in too, holding it for a moment before she blew it all back out again. She sighed and then glanced up at the ceiling.

 

"So," Abby started. "What the hell's going on?"

 

**

 

Abby stretched her palms out on the cool surface beneath them, feeling the sensation attempt to appease her. It wasn't really working though, but at least the metal units gave her something to rest against.

 

Abby scoffed, not quite being able to understand it. Why her daughter chose to wander the forest aimlessly and then walk blindly into the Trikru camp. She thought Clarke would know better than that. She thought, or assumed Clarke would be able to find comfort in them, her _own_ people, or at least her own mother. She had no idea how wrong that assumption could be.

 

"I just needed time," Clarke sighed, her hands shrugging up in the air a little. She already felt like this conversation had been going on forever.

 

"Away from us?" Abby shot over her shoulder.

 

Clarke was feeling infuriated, like no matter what she said her mother just wasn't getting it. Or maybe she just didn't _want_ to get it, but either way Clarke was running out of patience. "No, just..." she scampered for the right words. "...To sort myself out."

 

Abby's brow furrowed. "So then you go to _her_?"

 

Clarke rolled her eyes. She knew that this was what the conversation was really about. Clarke felt herself snap, a little. "I had to do something-"

 

"-Something?"

 

"Yes, Mom," Clarke fumed, her eyes blown wide and her expression more than agitated. She felt the frustration bubble in her chest and she felt like she couldn't keep still. She shifted where she stood and glanced around the room before her eyes fell back to her mother. "Something! Anything... I didn't know what to do."

 

Abby calmed a little, at the sight of her daughter getting so uncomfortable. So frazzled. She didn't want that, she just wanted to understand. Her tone softened considerably. "So why couldn't you just come home?"

 

"Home?" Clarke scoffed, her eyes dropping to the floor.

 

Abby stepped a little closer. "Yes, Clarke," she implored. "Home. This is your home."

 

Clarke sent her eyes to the ceiling and she waited, for a few moments, to try and get her thoughts in order. She shook her head. "I don't know what I needed," she began, her voice low. Scratchy even, and almost unforgiving. "Confront her, maybe, I don't know. Do something with the pain I felt," and then she shrugged. "Because of what I did."

 

Abby stepped closer still. "You did that because she betrayed you. She betrayed us."

 

It flickered across Clarke's face and ghosted in her eyes. She squeezed them shut for a second and then she grimaced. "I know."

 

Abby just didn't get it and she folded her arms across her chest in frustration. "So what? She captured you and you forgave her?"

 

"No, it wasn't like that."

 

"Then what it like, Clarke?" Abby started, taking a few steps away and around the room. "Because I have to admit I'm having a hard time understanding."

 

Clarke inhaled deeply; that she could obviously see and to make things worse she had no idea how she could explain it. She didn't quite know it herself if she was honest and she was certain they didn't have time to go over it all right then. "It isn't about forgiveness-"

 

"-Isn't it?"

 

"No!" Clarke shouted as she rapidly reached her exasperation limit. "She protected her people, like we would've done." Abby scoffed but Clarke continued before she could get a reprimanding word in. "She united the clans and brokered peace, you think she did that without sacrifice?"

 

Abby's eyes narrowed. She couldn't believe Clarke was defending _her_ , of all people. "So Lexa sacrificing our alliance is acceptable to you?"

 

Clarke pushed her fingertips into her temples as a low rumble formed in the back of her throat. "Of course not. Lexa..." she sighed, letting her arms flop down to her sides and her palms slap against her thighs. "...She's been through things, Mom. Experienced things, terrible things. She's had to do terrible things so she knows..." and then she trailed off, not at all sure really where she was going with it but Abby dropped her gaze for a moment, so Clarke assumed she got her meaning. She gripped her hands together in front of her for a moment and rubbed her fingers together. "She just knows, so it helped, being there. With her." She met her mother's gaze again. "And her people are good people, Mom."

 

Abby nodded as she let Clarke's last few sentences sink in. "So you trust her now, the Commander?" She still didn't believe it, though.

 

Clarke raised her eyebrows as her one hand sneaked around to the back of her neck and then she turned away.

 

"Well," Abby scoffed in response. "That says it all."

 

Clarke turned back in a flash. "I trust that she'll always do the best thing for her people, and as a leader you can't expect anything less." She took a step closer to her mother and shook her head. "It's not even the issue, Mom." Her words became stronger then, as if she knew with greater certainty what she was talking about. "Lexa's wound. We were attacked in the woods, by Ice Nation spies. Their warriors are out there and if they're prepared to shoot at Lexa then God knows what they'll do to us."

 

That seemed to get her attention. Abby's eyes grew that little bit wider. "What do they want?"

 

Clarke shook her head. "I don't know. We were going to Polis to find out exactly when we were ambushed. That's why I had to bring her here. If she dies then the twelve clans will have no leader. They'll probably all rally behind the Ice Queen and she's bad news, Mom."

 

Clarke knew she didn't have much on which to base her claims other than Lexa's words but it seemed likely the Ice Queen would try to gain power if Lexa wasn't around. Seeing as how the Sky People had no footing in Polis or any connections with anyone other than Lexa then it made sense to her that they really would be out on their own if that should happen.

 

What she felt for Lexa really didn't come into it, whatever _that_ was but she knew sharing that with her mom wouldn't get her anywhere.

 

Abby squeezed her eyes shut as another thousand questions riffled through her mind, especially why a rival clan with whom they had no prior dealing with was suddenly on their doorstep firing arrows. What she did know though was that if it was just to do with the Commander then the Commander could sort it out herself.

 

"How do you know she's bad news?"

 

Clarke wasn't really expecting that. She fidgeted backwards, a little. "I just know," she replied quietly, "from what I've heard."

 

"From Lexa?"

 

Then suddenly she could see exactly where her mother was going and Clarke somehow managed to frown even harder. "Not just from Lexa."

 

Abby sighed. "Look, Clarke. With our alliance broken I don't see why we need to get involved-"

 

"-We'll be involved no matter what. You think if another clan brings a war to Lexa they'll just leave us here unharmed? We're on Trikru land."

 

Abby shrugged. "Then we'll meet with them, see if we need to get involved."

 

Clarke scoffed and she very nearly laughed. She couldn't believe the naivety and her eyes became wide as her lips curled up in distaste. "You really think they'll have the diplomacy to come here and ask if we mind getting caught up in a war?"

 

Abby rolled her eyes. "Of course not-"

 

"-Then what are you saying?" Clarke really was infuriated now. She honestly couldn't believe after all this time, after everything they'd been through that her mother couldn't just trust what she was saying as truth.

 

"I just don't think we should blindly follow Lexa into something we don't know the half of. The woman who left you for dead at the Mountain."

 

Clarke pushed out a breath through clenched teeth. She really was trying to anger her, wasn't she? Clarke tried to push it down. "That's why I was going to Polis, to find out for myself then I was going to come here and figure out the best way to protect my people but as of right now, _this_ is all I do know and if I had to pick a side," she took a firm step closer and looked at her mother with steely determination. "Then I pick Lexa's."

 

Abby flinched a little under the scrutiny of her daughters gaze. "Oh, so now we're your people?"

 

Clarke straightened out her back and squared her jaw, just as she'd seen Lexa do countless times. "When it comes to protecting them."

 

There was a distinct silence for a few moments as both women attempted to gauge how serious the other was with neither wanting to back down.  
   
Finally though Clarke gave an inch. Her posture softened and her tone became a little more accommodating. "She is our best chance at finding peace, Mom. I do believe that." Abby raised a brow as she gave in a little, too. "It's not just me you'll need to convince." Clarke swallowed as she nodded. "I'll need your help." Abby actually smiled then, for a moment. This was a situation she never expected. Finding Clarke dead she had considered, captured maybe or even never finding her at all but turning up with Lexa and asking more or less to forge another alliance? Well it was verging on craziness. Abby cleared her throat as one of her concerns raised to the top of her throat. "Are you asking this with a clear head? You have been staying with her..." Clarke was surprised and her expression screamed it, there being a good few moments before she was able to find her voice. "What are you implying?"   
   
Abby had to tense herself, again. "What if she's manipulating you?"  
  
Clarke took several steps back, her own efforts in diplomacy waning. It actually made her smirk how little her mother knew Lexa. How little anyone did, to be fair, and then she sighed. "That's the last thing she's doing. Mom, Lexa will win this war so we can all live in peace. I want us to be safe. So that our people can walk outside these walls and not fear death or more battles-" "-You seem certain war is coming," Abby interrupted. Clarke nodded minutely as she bit on her bottom lip. "Lexa seems to think so," she said and then she shook her head. "She knows this enemy and she knows these lands. She's the way to go, I promise."  
   
Abby eyed her a little more carefully. "So you do trust her?"  
   
_Maybe I do._  Clarke swallowed heavily as she tried to push that thought to the back of her head. "In this. Yes."  
  
Abby paused for a moment and sighed, realisation seeming to sink in that she might have to do something she didn't want to do. Ally herself with someone she thought untrustworthy. "Look," Clarke continued. "When she wakes up ask her as many questions as you like-" "-Oh," Abby interrupted again. "I intend to." Clarke stiffened as she flashed her eyes. "Good."  
Clarke looked like she was about to turn and so Abby reached out and grabbed her arm, causing her to stay where she was. "If she crosses us a second time, Clarke, I'll have Raven blow her and her people to holy hell and I don't think she'll have a problem doing it."

 

**

 

"Is Clarke here?"

 

Marcus met Bellamy's eyes and he had to decide quickly what to do. Bellamy tried to look past him and through the windows of the doors that were behind him but luckily, as scuffed and battered as they were there was no way he could see inside.

 

Marcus lifted his palms up to try and back him away, a little. It worked, and Bellamy just stood there with his eyes wide, his gun slung over his shoulder and an expression on his face of surprise and anxiety along with worry and maybe even something else.

 

"I heard Lincoln brought her in with a couple grounders..." he trailed off before his gaze hardened, along with his voice. "Where is she?"

 

Marcus kept his tone low when he responded. "She's with her mother. I suggest we give them some time to talk things out."

 

That seemed to appease him, but not by much. Bellamy looked like he would sooner push Marcus aside than listen to him, if it wasn't for the fact he respected how distraught Abby had been since Clarke left and how lost Clarke was when he last saw her.

 

Marcus put his hand on Bellamy's forearm. "I'm sure you'll be next on Clarke's list when Abby finally lets her leave her sight again."

 

That made Bellamy smile, a bit, before he curbed it. "Where's Lincoln, and the grounders?"

 

Marcus pushed his shoulders back and tried to figure out what to do for the best.

 

"Miller told me one of them was injured," Bellamy continued as he attempted to peer through the glass again.

 

Marcus released an uneasy breath. "That's right, they're under guard don't worry," he hurried. "As for Lincoln, I'm not sure where he is."

 

Bellamy nodded. He met Marcus' gaze evenly and then luckily thought more of his own people than of the rogue couple of grounder's within their midst. He half turned to go. "I better go and see a few people about Clarke. It's already half way around camp."

 

Marcus nodded, the last thing he needed was for groups of people demanding answers descending on medical all in one go. "Where's Octavia?"

 

"Out hunting," Bellamy replied. "She should be back soon."

 

"Right." The next thing to worry about was whether Lincoln would tell her about Lexa. What they needed was to find out what was going on before everyone learned of the Commander's presence on the Ark. "And Jasper?"

 

Bellamy just shook his head and then headed off the way he came.

 

**

 

Lexa stirred. The first thing she was aware of was voices, agitated ones and blurred images of surroundings she didn't recognise. She tried to open her eyes more fully but it was difficult, and when she tried to move there was an almighty pain that erupted in her thigh that billowed out to every part of her body.

 

It was excruciating and she gasped, growled and reached for her wound all at once. Someone was at her shoulder though and they pressed a hand to it, attempting to keep her still.

 

"Don't try to move," a voice said. "The strain will only make it worse."

 

Lexa was used to pain and this certainly wasn't the most painful injury she'd endured. Her immediate reaction was to get up, assess her surroundings and see just how injured she was not least before knocking down whoever was restricting her movements.

 

The hand though proceeded to rub soothingly at her shoulder, the fingertips massaging into her skin a little, too. "It's okay," the voice continued, a little quieter and a little softer.

 

Okay so maybe Lexa's desire to knock them out was lessening. It was a nice voice. Calm. Caring.

 

"You're safe."

 

Lexa felt herself becoming more with it as the things around her started to come into focus. It was Clarke's voice, she realised, and it was Clarke standing at her shoulder. Lexa's eyes fluttered open properly and the first thing she saw was Clarke who smiled down at her, albeit rather thinly.

 

"Clarke," Lexa croaked, her voice not much more than a mumble. "What happened?"

 

Clarke let go of her shoulder after Lexa seemed to get the idea she shouldn't move. "We were ambushed."

 

Lexa tried to clear her throat. "Azgeda?"

 

"I think so," Clarke replied as her brow furrowed. "They got you in the leg."

 

That Lexa could put together herself. Suddenly her head started hurting and her face contorted as she became more aware of the pain. "Dax?"

 

Clarke bit on her lip and after a moment she shook her head. "I don't know. He went to create a distraction so Zeek and I could get you here."

 

That made Lexa frown even more. "Here?"

 

Clarke swallowed uncomfortably as she felt Zeek's body go unbelievably tense next to her and so she took in a very, very deep breath. "You're on the Ark."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Translations. **
> 
> **"Azgeda."**   
>  _"Ice Nation."_


	9. nain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa wakes up and she's not pleased to discover where she is. Clarke tells Abby what's what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always apologising for the lateness of my chapters but it's the truth! Since the last chapter I met Alycia in Copenhagen, I bumped into her in a corridor and we had a chat - BEST THING EVER!! :D Went to the first Clexa meet in London & then to Dortmund CC :) Awesome!
> 
> You can find me on my [Twitter](http://twitter.com/talented_gemx) or my [Tumblr](http://talentedgemx.tumblr.com) :)

Lexa's eyes went wide for a moment. They took Clarke in, the sudden slump in her shoulders before they straightened again and then those big blue eyes as they cast a glance away from her. A lot of things flooded through the Commander's mind then, and they only took a split second. Her hands clenching around the sides of the bed she was on and although her leg felt like a dead weight, the sudden rush in her chest and sheer amount of adrenaline that surged through her lifted her upper body away from the gurney.

 

Clarke though was quick to push her back down. Or at least she attempted to, hands loosely palming at Lexa's shoulders.

 

 

In that split second Lexa took stock of her surroundings. There was metal, a lot of it, grey and dense and she was quick to feel the overwhelming weight of being caged in. Was she trapped? Was this a trick? Was Azgeda behind it?

 

She lifted herself up and pushed against Clarke's palms but she felt weak and the pain below her hips was excruciating. The feeling in her injured leg almost none-existent, apart from the pain of course. Still though she pushed, her expression one of pure fury and scrunched up in a look of determination like Clarke had never seen.

 

"Lexa no," Clarke said loudly, trying to keep her on the bed. "You won't be able to stand."

 

Lexa didn't hear her over the rushing in her ears and the intense pounding of pain that was sounding in her every extremity. She was aware of Abby moving in the far corner, rifling through a draw for something and she saw Lincoln by the door, half turned in her direction now but seemingly unwilling to give up his post.

 

She leaned over on her one side in the direction of Clarke and grit her teeth, every inch of her straining and fighting the pain. Her weight was on her elbow as her other hand grasped at Clarke's wrist, glaring up at her with fierce, dark eyes and about to push her off with as much force as she could find.

 

Clarke leaned down closer to her, though, as if she knew what was coming. "Commander, listen to me," she implored and despite herself, Lexa paused, although her expression screamed nothing but anger, very ready to attack. Maybe even a hint of betrayal lurking in there too...

 

Did Lexa really think Clarke had brought her to the Ark for anything other than healing?

 

Lexa didn't know what she was thinking. The pain did nothing but cloud her judgement and she was very aware of being outnumbered, injured, and at the mercy of a potential enemy. Though Clarke wasn't the enemy, she knew. She hoped. But everyone else in this metal tube was.

 

Clarke saw her opening and she took it. She lowered her voice as the Commander pushed out breath after breath, panting, anxious. Fearful. "Stay still. Please."

 

Lexa stared deeply into Clarke's eyes and after a moment she swallowed, the back of her throat extremely dry. Her heart was pumping like she had gone fifty rounds with her warriors and she was more than a little disorientated. More than a little out of her realm of what was acceptable. Azgeda she could handle but being in the midst of the Sky People, it was something she had never imagined.

 

Lexa loosened her grip on Clarke's wrist but she didn't let go. She was still breathing heavily, her eyes were still wide and she bared her teeth menacingly, or at least menacingly as far as Abby was concerned. She had found what she was after in the drawer and she strode over to the bed in a few easy steps.

 

"Clarke, get away from her."

 

Clarke looked up and saw what her mother was about to do, the drug spray ready in her hand to subdue Lexa. "Mom, no!" she hurried, her tongue swiping across her lips in something like panic.

 

Zeek quickly sprang into action and stepped in front of Abby, his hand around the hilt of his sword as he was about to draw it. "Bak op!"

 

Abby stopped immediately and took a step back, Lincoln taking a couple of steps into the room ready to draw his weapon.

 

"Okay stop!" Clarke demanded, backing away from Lexa and moving to the foot of her bed. "Everyone, stop." She glanced at everyone quickly and let her gaze linger on Lexa for a few moments longer. She tried to gauge what Lexa was about to do. What she would command Zeek do. She tried to reassure her with her eyes, tried to calm her down knowing full well how much of a shock this would be for her. Lexa just stared back at her, still with her weight leaning over on her elbow. She seemed to be considering something, and Clarke really wished she knew what. She sighed and then she swallowed, nodding her head minutely at Lexa once, and when all the Commander did was hold her gaze and blink a few times, remaining motionless on the gurney Clarke supposed that would have to do.

 

Clarke squared her shoulders and looked at Abby. "Mom, put the shot down, she's not a threat."

 

Abby regarded her in disbelief. "Are you sure about that?"

 

Zeek took a step closer, impatient at the threat to his Commander. He grunted at Abby's lack of respect.

 

"Yes, Mom!" Clarke raised her voice. "Just put it down." She turned to Zeek. "Zeek..."

 

"She threatens Heda," Zeek growled, spitting the words out with utter distaste.

 

Abby squared up to him. "I shout once and ten guards come running through that door."

 

Clarke rolled her eyes.

 

"Not in time to save you," Zeek responded with equal bravado.

 

"Chil yu daun, Zeek," Lexa ordered, her voice firm and every bit Commander-like. Her eyes were still throwing daggers, though, and she felt a burning in her chest at being brought here. At being put in this situation.

 

Zeek let go of his sword and stepped back from Abby, Lincoln's frame visibly relaxing, a little and Clarke let out a sigh of relief.

 

"Mom," Clarke said softly, and then she nodded at the object in Abby's hand.

 

Abby looked down at it and gripped it a few times in her palm.

 

"Chomouda hir?" Lexa seethed, sitting back in the bed as upright as she could get herself, still trying her best to ignore the wild pain echoing through her bones. Her attention fell on Zeek, her shoulders rigid and her jaw set.

 

It made Abby nervous. She looked at Lincoln. "What is she saying?"

 

Lincoln regarded his old Commander, still every bit as intimidating and authoritative even when incapacitated. He knew not to expect anything less. "She's not telling him to kill you," he replied. "Not yet."

 

After a tense few moments Abby walked to the back of the room and replaced the shot in its drawer. She then turned around and crossed her arms over her chest.

 

Lexa flicked her eyes to Lincoln realising her need for a private conversation with Zeek was fruitless, and then she scowled at herself for not coming to this conclusion sooner. Her head was literally on fire and the pain in her body was only getting worse. She tried hard however to conceal any weakness but she had no idea how successful she was. All she knew was that she needed information, and she needed to know just in how much danger she was. Underneath she knew her wound must be bad for Clarke to have brought her here, and honestly Clarke didn't look too comfortable herself but she had to know that she wasn't a prisoner, that somehow Clarke had turned on her, but that fact that Zeek was there and with his weapon gave her some degree of comfort.

 

She sighed heavily as she tried to gather herself. At the moment she was at the mercy of the Sky People, and she had to deal with it objectively. She looked up and found Clarke gazing at her with softer eyes. "Clarke," Lexa began, her tone reigned in quite a bit but a low, threatening growl still laced in her words. "Why am I here?"

 

Clarke moved further up the bed, happy at least a little bit for the decrease of aggression in the room. "There wasn't much choice-"

 

"-TonDC..." Lexa interrupted, the force back in her glare.

 

Clarke mirrored her expression. "You needed a surgeon."

 

Even if that was true, Lexa still wasn't happy about it. If her fate was to die during battle then so be it.

 

Clarke could almost hear what Lexa was thinking. "I knew my mom could save you."

 

All Lexa did was clench her jaw in response. "Where is Dax?"

 

Clarke sighed, not particularly wanting to deliver the news about the general. "He stayed behind to hold off Azgeda. So we could get you here."

 

Lexa turned her glare on Zeek. "Yu don ban Dax op?"

 

Dax squared his shoulders. "Em don hedon ai, Heda. Gon shil yu op."

 

Lexa was angry. She hated everything about this situation and Dax was certain to feel her wrath when he showed himself. "How long have I been here?" she demanded, the displeasure unfurling in her chest and spiralling outwards.

 

Clarke thought about it. "Almost a day."

 

The Commander clenched her jaw again, that was definitely enough time for Dax to make it back to TonDC and be on his way to Camp Jaha. Her head pounded suddenly and she had to narrow her eyes, the bright light in the room affecting her.

 

Clarke swallowed nervously. "Commander, I'm not sure if Dax would've survived-"

 

"-He will have," Lexa bit back in response. She met Clarke's gaze and where her blue eyes were full of doubt, Lexa's only held confidence. She knew her warriors were the best of the Coalition therefore her generals were practically unbeatable. Gustus taught him well and Lexa had no doubts in Dax's ability in battle. "He will bring my people to your gates soon enough."

 

Clarke definitely didn't share the Commander's confidence but she acquiesced to it nonetheless. 

 

The very idea made Abby uneasy but she expected it, as soon as Clarke had walked through her doors with Lexa in Zeek's arms in tow. "Well before I have a hundred warriors beating down my door," she began, her eyes fixing on the Commander's. "I want some answers. Clarke seems to think there's a war coming."

 

That got Lincoln's attention and Lexa turned her gaze again to Clarke, not surprised at all Skaikru would be oblivious to what was happening outside of their walls.

 

"Clarke may be right," Lexa responded, not moving her eyes from Clarke. She leaned back in her bed, then, the strain suddenly rushing over her and making her dizzy. She groaned and Clarke was immediately by her side.

 

Zeek also moved closer. "Heda?"

 

Clarke felt Lexa's forehead. "She's burning up."

 

Abby went to another table for some painkillers.

 

"What is happening?" Zeek continued, the worry back tenfold in his tone.

 

"Too much stress," Clarke deduced. "She needs to rest. She can't take this strain, not right now."

 

"I am fine," Lexa tried to say, but God only knew how it came out. She tried harder. "We must..." she trailed off. "Polis-"

 

"-Polis can wait!" Clarke blurted out, her eyes boring into Lexa as the authoritative command in her tone made the other two in the room pause, for a moment. It made Zeek a little uneasy.

 

"We'll finish this conversation later," Abby sighed as she approached Lexa's bedside, a needle in her hand which Zeek was quick to intercept. He grabbed her wrist to stop her.

 

Abby glared at him. "It's for the pain."

 

Lexa's eyes opened and she attempted to focus on the needle but everything was going fuzzy. She was back to breathing heavily but she still managed to shake her head. "No," she gasped, not at all interested in Skaikru medicine.

 

"Lexa it'll help," Clarke said softly but Lexa just shook her head again before her eyes fell closed and she collapsed onto the bed completely. Clarke licked her lips. "Fine-"

 

"-Clarke."

 

Clarke looked at her mother. "Just get her some water. A damp cloth, we need to cool her down."

 

Abby sighed but relented and then Clarke started pulling at Lexa's clothes. Her thick outer layers at least.

 

"What are you doing?" Zeek asked, his eyes suddenly a lot less warrior and much more naive boy.

 

"She's too hot," Clarke responded automatically. "Help me take these off."

 

Zeek just stood there stock still. Taking Heda's clothes off was definitely not one of his duties.

 

"Zeek! At least help me with her armour," Clarke demanded and so reluctantly, he did, but he seriously didn't like it.

 

**

 

"Is that something you're trained for?" Clarke asked Zeek rather absently, her hand dabbing a wet cloth to Lexa's forehead every so often as she sat at her bedside, repeating the actions she'd been carrying out for the last few hours. Her voice was low so not to disturb the slumbering Commander and so far the wound seemed to be healing nicely, as far as Clarke could tell.

 

Zeek was stood by the door and he kept his eyes forward, diligently awaiting anyone who may dare enter who wasn't Dr. Griffin.

 

Clarke glanced over her shoulder at him. "Standing motionless for hours on end?" There was a flicker of amusement in her tone.

 

Zeek exhaled a small swift breath and quickly inhaled another, continuing his breathing in the slow, even pace in which he had been trained. "Yes," he answered with hardly any inflection at all. "In silence we hear the most, and only then are we prepared."

 

Clarke weighed up his response, not really expecting anything else from one of Lexa's warriors. "Prepared for what?"

 

He turned to look at her, then. "The unexpected."

 

Clarke raised her eyebrows, she supposed that made sense. Lexa stirred for a moment and pushed out a breath, her head lolling to the other side and Clarke drew the cloth away, waiting for her to settle once more before she lowered the cloth to dab at Lexa's neck, and then across her chest. "How long could you stay there for?" she asked, not taking her attention away from the Commander, though.

 

Zeek looked on briefly before he turned back to the door. "As long as necessary," he replied and then his voice dropped, a bit. "As you remember."

 

Clarke's hand stopped and hovered above Lexa's collar bone, a memory flashing through her mind of falling repeatedly to her knees before strong hands heaved her back to standing, time and time again. A shudder ran through her and although she remembered, she didn't recall exactly. It was all a blur, and quite an unpleasant one. "Mmmm," was all she said, before she put her concentration back in tending the Commander.

 

Lexa stirred, then, and Clarke once again froze. She watched as the Commander's forehead furrowed before she swallowed, coughing a little before her eyes very slowly opened. Clarke's hand remained where it was, hovering just to the side of Lexa's temple with the cloth clenched between her fingers a little tighter than what was necessary.

 

Lexa blinked a few times, her gaze flicking around the room as if to remind herself where she was before it settled back on Clarke. She pushed out a dissatisfied breath before she pulled herself up the bed a little, attempting to sit herself up a little straighter.

 

"Clarke," she began, mid-shuffle and Clarke moved to help her. The Commander however, shrugged away the assistance and then she fixed Clarke with a reprimanding, overly agitated look.

 

Clarke just sighed, under her breath and lowered her voice. "Don't look at me like that," she said, trying out her own reprimanding look. "I wasn't just going to watch you die. Not when I knew my mom could save you."

 

It didn't appease Lexa, not in the least. She cast her eyes over to Zeek who was still standing by the door with his back to them, and Lexa was thankful everyone else had left them alone. Being brought into an unaligned camp and being unable to move left her in a hugely compromising position and even worse if the Ice Nation knew it, it would be a huge sign of weakness Nia could easily exploit. She knew Clarke only meant well, only saw that she could be healed but from a strategic point of view, it was disastrous.

 

"I do not fear death, Clarke."

 

Clarke rolled her eyes. "I know you don't," she bit back. "But I'm sure a lot of other people do." The strength in her sentiment caught Lexa's attention but Clarke ploughed past it, she didn't mean herself, after all. "If you died don't you think the Ice Queen would use that to her advantage?"

 

"If the Ice Queen knew I was here, injured then she will use that to her advantage," Lexa responded a little more angrily than she intended. The pain in her thigh was still intense and her head was still pounding so unfortunately, Clarke was feeling the brunt of it. She glared at Clarke once more. "If I were dead my spirit-"

 

"-Your spirit is staying where it is!" Clarke fumed, careful to keep her voice low, though, so not to alert Kane and whoever else was stationed outside the door. "I told you." She cut her eyes away from Lexa for a moment to gather herself, sucking in a breath sharply before she forced it out. She swallowed, licked her lips and then looked back at the Commander who had now settled in the bed and was regarding her with an even, if not a somewhat of passive expression. "Nothing will happen to you here," she continued on, changing the subject. "Once you've healed we will go to Polis as planned."

 

Lexa thought about pressing the issue but she knew, there was little point. All she could do now was deal with the situation she was in and besides, Clarke had saved her life and she would be lying if that fact didn't light up her insides, just a little. She had to suppress a smile and instead she levelled out her chin and tilted her head to the side. "Are you certain of that?" she asked, her tone betraying nothing regardless of the war going on behind her eyes. The harsh lighting of the room she was sure wasn't helping.

 

Clarke was quickly getting frustrated. "Of course I'm sure," she answered quickly, taking a step closer to the bed so her front was once again flush against it. She dabbed the cloth to Lexa's forehead and although she at first flinched away from it, Clarke wouldn't be dissuaded and soon enough the Commander simply allowed it. "How's your leg?" Clarke asked, after a moment or two of tense silence.

 

Lexa sighed exaggeratedly and didn't respond for a minute or two. "Hurts."

 

Despite herself, Clarke smiled, remembering back to the last time Lexa was her patient. She glanced at Lexa and caught her eye and to her very welcome surprise, the Commander offered her a small smile too.

 

Lexa remembered their conversation from back then, when Clarke was done with seeing to her arm. It made Lexa pause and she chewed on her bottom lip, for a moment. She could see the concern in Clarke's eyes, in the way she held herself, and in the way her brow was struggling to keep itself straight. She was worried too, and no matter how much Lexa didn't want to be stuck in the Ark, she knew how difficult it must be for Clarke to be here, too.

 

The Commander sighed; as much as she was concerned with the politics of being where she was, of Azgeda finding out, of what would happen in Polis in her absence the part of her that wasn't Heda, was concerned for Clarke and what she would be feeling.

 

Lexa swallowed and kept her voice low, careful to keep her words purely between them. "Thank you," she said, every inch of Heda gone from her expression. "For saving me."

 

All of a sudden Clarke felt her shoulders relax and she couldn't help the smile that lit up her face. "You're welcome," she replied, her voice just as low in return. She let a few moments pass as they held each other's gaze and Clarke wondered, for a minute, when she let this all happen. When she started caring so much about whether or not Lexa would live. When the very idea of her not made her whole body start to fill with dread... Clarke took in a deep breath and despite her best efforts; it was the Commander's soft and vulnerable eyes she found herself once again getting lost in.

 

Who was she kidding? Clarke had always cared, for one reason or another but it wasn't exactly for the sake of her people anymore, she knew. Clarke quickly cut her eyes away. "You need to stay off that leg, though."

 

Lexa blinked a few times as Clarke broke... whatever it was that just passed between them and then she sighed, but Clarke didn't give her the opportunity to formulate a response.

 

"I mean it," Clarke pressed, trying to quell the subtle warmth that had started building in her chest and she simply couldn't help the way her eyes fell to Lexa's slightly parted lips. If it wasn't the first kiss, she thought, it was definitely the second...

 

Clarke's mind flashed to the Commander lifting her with ease and urgency to the war table, her hands gripping the undersides of her thighs as Clarke legs instinctively wrapped around strong hips. Lexa's tongue and the way it brushed over her lips and licked inside her mouth while Clarke moaned into her, her hands lost in long braids and at the back of Lexa's neck and when Lexa sighed out her name...

 

Clarke squeezed her eyes shut, absolutely hating her brain, right then, and she swallowed hard before she opened them again.

 

Lexa fixed her with another look but Abby barged in and strode past Zeek without even giving him a second glance.

 

"It's getting rowdy out there," Abby began, stopping at the foot of Lexa's bed and pressing her hand to her forehead, for a moment. She turned to Clarke. "They know you're here and they want to see you."

 

Clarke looked away from Lexa and was actually grateful. There were definitely more important things to worry about than her feelings for the woman who broke her heart and betrayed her. Broke your heart? Clarke shook her head. "They?" she gasped out, and hoped no one would notice.

 

Lexa's brow pricked up, though.

 

Luckily Abby didn't, instead she caught on to her daughters choice or response. "Your friends, Clarke," she said, a little exasperated and when Clarke just stared at her rather blankly, she took a step closer. "They're worried about you."

 

And the rest, Clarke considered. She looked away. "I'm fine."

 

"Clarke."

 

Clarke flashed her mother a look, then. "I'll see them later." There's no way she was going to leave Lexa and Zeek unattended, anyway. For both their sake's and her people's. She was going to have to send a messenger to TonDC to let them know what happened just in case Dax and Jael didn't make it back, otherwise she could see herself not leaving the room until Lexa was well enough to leave.

 

Abby's attention fell to Lexa who was watching the exchange with interest and her eyes narrowed exponentially. She then looked quickly at Lexa's wound. "Any complications?" she asked in a typically clinical tone.

 

Clarke shook her head. "No."

 

Abby moved closer and inspected the wound, then, and Lexa's jaw clenched hard at the sudden increase in pain. Other than that though she didn't react to the pressure and Abby was impressed. "Temperature?"

 

"Not as elevated."

 

Abby nodded and finished her inspection, covering the wound back up before she regarded the patient. "How's the pain?"

 

Lexa pushed out an even breath, her expression schooled. "Bearable."

 

Abby smirked a little, at that. "Pain killers will help. You're going to be suffering for quite a while."

 

One of Lexa's eyebrows twitched, a little. "I am used to pain, Chancellor."

 

Abby took a step back from the bed. "I'm sure you are." She rounded the bed and stood just to Clarke's side so Zeek and the door were in her line of sight. She crossed her arms over her chest. "Now if you don't mind, now you're awake, we need to finish our conversation."

 

Clarke turned to her. "Mom it can wai-"

 

"-What is it you would like to know, Abby of the Sky People?" Lexa interrupted, her chin rising as her gaze lowered, an air of authority in her tone.

 

Abby somehow managed to stand up straighter and Clarke would laugh, she thought, if this play at posturing wasn't so awkward. Regardless she had a feeling Lexa would win even if she was laying on the floor. "Something about another war?" Abby replied. "The Ice Nation. Spies in the woods and what the hell it's got to do with us."

 

Lexa paused while she contemplated how best to answer. Ordinarily she wouldn't answer so kindly to being questioned, but these were Clarke's people and more importantly, this was Clarke's mother. Therefore, she thought, as she took in a few breaths each one just as measured as the last she would be courteous. But only to a point. After all it was highly likely she may need their help in this upcoming war, not that she liked to admit it.

 

"The Ice Queen has always despised my leadership," Lexa began, her voice strong and steady as if she was addressing her own people. Zeek even stood further to attention. "I united the clans as one and she craves my power over them. Now she sees an opportunity and I believe she will act upon in."

 

Abby furrowed her brow. "What opportunity?"

 

Lexa breathed in sharply. "We were united over one cause. A common enemy."

 

"The mountain," Abby deducted, after a moment.

 

"Yes," Lexa confirmed. "Although we have prospered in our mutual peace the coalition is fragile, and it shakes in the wake of the Mountain falling."

 

Abby narrowed her eyes. "Why?"

 

Lexa's jaw twitched and her eyes steeled over before she responded. "I was not the one to bring it to its knees, and the Ice Queen wishes to exploit that."

 

Abby shook her head. "With all due respect," she said, a hand hovering out in front of her. "What has the Ice Queen exploiting you got to do with us?"

 

"Mom," Clarke said under her breath, a sound coming from where Zeek was standing like he was utterly disgusted with Abby's comment.

 

Lexa just sighed, a low rumble starting to unfurl in her chest. "I believe they will come to you. Attempt to reason with you."

 

Abby still wasn't understanding. "And why would they do that?"  
   
Lexa's eyes fell to Clarke, then, and her voice became minutely softer. "Because she will want the person who fell the Mountain."

 

Clarke's whole expression furrowed. "What?"  
   
"You, Clarke. The Ice Queen will want you."  
   
Abby's eyes went wide. "What? Why?"  
   
Lexa's eyes didn't deviate but her voice became firmer. "My people respect you, and those who don't fear you. As they once feared me. I conquered every enemy before me, but you conquered one no leader could for almost one-hundred years. Those she cannot convince on her own will fall behind you, Clarke."  
   
Clarke was shocked and her eyes widened before she blinked a few times trying to take it in.  
   
"Wait," Abby said, fidgeting a little where she stood. "So, this Ice Queen, she will come for Clarke?"  
   
Lexa sighed as she shifted her gaze to Abby. "She will use you. Make your people an offer you cannot refuse. Once she has you, she has the clans of the coalition."  
   
"What about you?" Clarke asked her voice a little groggy.  
   
"If she succeeds then I will be dead."  
   
Clarke was taken aback by how nonchalant Lexa seemed about all of this. Speaking like it was matter-of-fact, but then she was just as surprised that she was surprised. This was Lexa delivering the cold hard facts. Clarke shook her head, a bit.  
   
Lexa continued on, regardless. "The Ice Queen has always hated my leadership. How I united the clans. She wishes to rule."  
   
Abby's arms were back folded across her chest. "And how do we know she wouldn't rule well?"  
   
"Mom." Clarke cut her a glare.  
   
Abby looked at her daughter. "She might. How do you know?"  
   
Lexa became annoyed. Skaikru and their reasoning. It was difficult for Lexa when people didn't bend to her will, but then she understood that wasn't how Clarke's people worked. "The Ice Queen is selfish. She will use her power to benefit herself and her own people. She will not rule with fairness."  
   
Abby raised her brow at Lexa. "And you do?"  
   
Lexa's eyes became dangerous, then, and they peered at Abby like they could unleash hell. "You have no idea how I rule, Chancellor. You have not seen the other clans or visited Polis. But if you do not believe me so be it. Fall behind the Ice Queen and you shall see for yourself."  
   
Clarke decided it was time to cut in. "That's not going to happen."  
   
Abby turned back to her. "Clarke."  
   
"Mom we have no idea about this Nia. We have no idea about any of it. We know Lexa-"  
   
"-Do we?"  
   
Clarke took in an infuriated breath and lowered her voice. "We spoke about this."  
   
"All I'm saying is maybe we should meet with her, see what she has to offer."  
   
Clarke clenched her jaw and shook her head, the heat blazing behind her eyes.  
   
"Where's the harm?"  
   
Lexa stared at both of them, the anger settling painfully in her chest. "Clarke."  
   
Clarke turned to Lexa and when she looked at her, her eyes were much softer and more than a little weary. "It's not going to happen," she sighed, a hand running though her hair. "I believe what you told me about her. I won't make an alliance with her."  
   
"It's not just your decision, Clarke."  
   
Clarke was feeling angry now, too. Her frown felt like it held the world. "I brought down the mountain, Mom. You think the Ice Queen would deal with you without me there?  
   
Lexa could see how Clarke was tiring and she felt more than capable of bringing Abby into line herself. "She'll use you and take your resources, without a care for any of you."  
   
Abby's bitterness for Lexa though, shone through. "Like you care about us, you mean? Why should I believe you're any better than her?"  
   
Lexa pulled her lips into a tight line and pushed down the anger rising in her throat. "Because I brought peace."  
   
Abby scoffed. "You tried to kill us."  
   
"And then I let you live."  
   
"Okay," Clarke interrupted, holding up her hands. "That's enough. This is getting us nowhere." She fixed Abby with a determined look. "I told you, we stand with Lexa."

 

Oddly, Lexa felt the anger in her chest turn abruptly into, something quite the opposite and it took her by surprise. She looked at Clarke and had to work hard to keep her expression under control.

 

Abby sighed, not liking it in the least but it seemed certainly for the moment Clarke was the one with the power. Or at least she was in the eyes of the Ice queen. "Well you're going to need to convince a few of your friends," she huffed out, walking back towards the door. "See if they'll follow you again."

 

Clarke stood firm and pushed her shoulders back. "I will," she nodded, sounding a lot more confident than she felt.

 

"Good," Abby concluded, and then she regarded Lexa. "Keep off that leg, or you'll take twice as long to heal," she finished before leaving the room.  
 

Clarke turned back to Lexa with a thunderous sigh. "Sorry," she mumbled, looking down at Lexa's sheets.  
   
"You have nothing to be sorry for," the Commander responded, her tone much softer than just moments ago and her eyes roaming over Clarke's deflated form.

 

Clarke reached out and played with the sheet a little between her fingers where it bunched at the side of Lexa's hip.

 

"You are tired," Lexa observed, attempting to keep her level of concern out of her tone.

 

Clarke just smiled, a little. "You're the injured one. I'm fine."

 

Lexa's lips quirked up in a hint of a smile and it made Clarke's gaze drop to the bed.

 

Clarke felt tense, her shoulders ached and she honestly just wanted whatever was to come to be over already. She let a moment of weakness wash over her as she met the Commander's eyes. "Will it get easier?"

 

Lexa knew what she meant. They'd shared enough conversations lately for her to know that all Clarke wanted was time, and peace, and the opportunity to smile a whole lot more than she had over the last few months. Lexa knew she wanted to be the one who could give her all that, even though such things didn't even exist for herself. "Yes," Lexa responded without hesitation.

 

Clarke wasn't sure if she believed her but she smiled, nonetheless. "Promise?"

 

The hope in Clarke's eyes was something Lexa never wanted to forget and she promised herself then that she would be the one to give those things to her, no matter what she had to sacrifice. "Yes," she whispered, and Clarke's smile doubled in size.

 

"Heda," Zeek spoke up, breaking the spell that had settled between the two of them. Lexa broke eye contact first and looked over at Zeek. Clarke just sighed and glanced down before over at the door. "Something is happening." He drew his sword as he neared the door.

 

It took a moment before Lexa's mask settled over her face. "What?"

 

Zeek listened at the door before he very tentatively opened it, Clarke rounding the bed so she was standing just ahead of where Lexa lay. Zeek half disappeared out the door before he very quickly came back in and flanked the door.

 

"What is it?" Clarke asked, very quickly feeling very uneasy.

 

A slight smile pulled at the corner of Lexa's lips. "Trikru."

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
> **  
> Translations.  
>   
> 
> I'm on my own with the Trigedasleng so go easy, guys ;)
> 
>  **"Azgeda."**  
>  "Ice Nation."
> 
>  **"Bak op!"**  
>  "Get back!"
> 
>  **"Chomouda hir?"**  
>  "Why here?"
> 
>  **"Skaikru."**  
>  "Sky People." 
> 
> **"Yu don ban Dax op?"**  
>  "You left Dax?
> 
>  **"Em don hedon ai, Heda. Gon shil yu op."**  
>  "He ordered me to, Heda. To protect you."
> 
>  **"Trikru."**  
>  "Woods People."


	10. ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Indra arrives, Abby is well, Abby. Clarke has a number of reunions and then shares a moment with Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quicker than you thought right? I know ;) Hope you all enjoy this chapter, let me know your thoughts and if you would like please leave a review :)
> 
> You can find me as always, on [twitter](http://twitter.com/talented_gemx) or [tumblr](http://talentedgemx.tumblr.com). Also, please check out my [Clexa mugs](https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/484167724/clexa-forever-mug-lexa-clarke-griffin?ref=shop_home_active_1) :) they are quite pretty...

"Sha, Heda," Zeek responded as he took a further step back, as if his intention was to blend in with the far wall and then all of a sudden, half a dozen people were standing inside the room. A mixture of trepidation, unease and mild anger colouring each of their expressions.

 

Kane lead the group in, coming to a stop just before Lexa's bed. His hand not hovering far from the butt of his gun even with the peaceful air he was attempting to project. "You have visitors, Commander," he said when the footsteps stopped shuffling behind him. He then stepped to the head of the bed and stood just to its side.

 

Indra stepped forward, her eyes wide and her posture rigid. Her hand was clenched tightly around the hilt of her sword still somehow allowed to be strapped to her hip and just as Clarke wondered how that was possible, the general ran her eyes over Lexa's body and started to speak.

 

"Heda," she addressed in a gruff voice, clearly not pleased with what she was seeing. "Gada emo bash yu in?" She was practically drawing her sword before Lexa held up a hand to cease her movement.

 

"No, Indra," Lexa replied in a loud, even voice, keeping it in English for the sake of her hosts. She eyed her general carefully. "They have not."

 

Indra let out a breath that was full of agitation. Her shoulders remaining as rigid as they were when Dax first delivered her the news. She sheathed her sword and actually let go of it, deducing that for the moment her Heda wasn't in danger. "You should not have been brought here," she growled and then she looked at Clarke.

 

Clarke's eyes narrowed in a moment. "Dax knew it was the only option." Her voice was firm. "So did I."

 

"I know what Dax thought." Indra raised her voice as she took a step toward Clarke. "You were both mistaken."

 

The atmosphere thickened as Indra's anger rose to the surface, the four Trikru that were stood around her only amplifying the sentiment.

 

"Indra..." Lexa started, the name low and dangerous and a rumble in the Commander's throat.

 

Clarke took a step forward, too, and her eyes flashed at the general. "You'd rather she be dead?"

 

Indra clenched every muscle in her body at the words and her hand once more went to her sword. She pushed out a loud breath over her lips as her frame went rigid. " _Skaikru branwada_ ," she grumbled. "Being trapped in here makes Heda seem weak," she forced, much louder this time and a deathly glare fixed in her eyes. "And Heda is _not_ weak."

 

"Indra..." Lexa tried again.

 

Clarke frowned but didn't give an inch. "She's not trapped-"

 

Indra ignored both of them and continued on regardless. "-You know nothing! You put Heda at risk every moment you keep her here."

 

"I'm not keepi-"

 

"- _Em pleni!_ " Everyone stopped as Lexa's words echoed around the room with the force in which she spoke them. Clarke was certain she would've been heard all around the Ark. Everyone turned to Lexa but most averted their gaze, including Indra. "Enough of this," Lexa continued, her voice quieter but still with every inch of authority she commanded. She was annoyed, and everyone felt it. She fixed her eyes on her general. "Indra, I will leave here as soon as I am able."

 

Indra met Lexa's gaze as if she was about to protest but the Commander silenced her with a penetrating look. She paused a moment for emphasis. "What do my people think?"

 

Indra had to work to keep her anger in check. "That you are here, Heda, nothing more than that."

 

"Then why bring an entire army?" Abby asked as she entered the room and stood beside Marcus, her arms folding across her chest defiantly. "There must be two-hundred of you at our gates. Why so many if you don't think Lexa is in danger?"

 

Indra glared at Abby. " _The Commander_ ," she emphasised, a hint of disdain at her for not addressing Lexa correctly. "Would not enter a hostile environment without her army. _Not_ bringing them, would not have been wise."

 

Abby's eyebrows shot up her forehead. "Hostile?"

 

"Abby..." Marcus muttered, trying to get her to shut up.

 

"Do not fear my army, Chancellor," Lexa started again, even though her head was swimming and her thigh was throbbing with pain. "You are not in any danger as long as I am not."

 

Abby squared her eyes at Lexa. "Is that a threat?"

 

Marcus instantly reached out for Abby's arm and turned her toward him. "What are you doing?" he whispered, not quite believing she would start something with armed Trikru within their walls. He was quickly regretting allowing it to happen but then he hadn't wanted to start a war when Indra demanded entry moments before. "Didn't you listen to Clarke?" he continued, his voice getting quieter and quieter. "If a war is coming then we need to know about it, and we need to make friends-"

 

"-With them?" Abby interjected.

 

"Yes," Marcus replied. "What other realistic choice do we have?"

 

Clarke walked over to them, then, as Indra and Lexa swapped some hurried sentences in Trigedasleng. "Mom," she began, annoyance thick in her tone but her voice quiet. "Stop fighting Lexa-"

 

"-I just don't trust her."

 

The two Griffin's glared at each other as Marcus took in a deep breath and scratched at his forehead with the side of this thumb. "We're right to be wary," he started, and Clarke turned her glare on him. "But," he quickly added, "perhaps it's better the devil we know." Abby looked at him, then. "I'm with Clarke on this one."

 

Clarke breathed a sigh of relief, quite aware of the volume of Trigedasleng behind her getting louder and louder. Her mind was also telling her that Kane being onside was only a small mercy. She knew her friends would be a different matter altogether. But, she supposed, at least Kane held influence over most of the Arkers.

 

Clarke regarded both of them. "The best thing we can do now is let Lexa recover. Until I go with her to Polis we won't know anything for sure."

 

Abby sighed, not happy but seeing the logic in what she was being told. She just hoped the Commander wouldn't betray them again, for everyone's sake. "And until then?" she asked, eying the scene behind Clarke and noting by the sheer power of Lexa's voice that it was clear she lead a lot by brute force, and perhaps even intimidation. It made her wonder what would happen if they fell behind Lexa completely. She told herself she'd never let that happen.

 

Clarke shook her head, a little. "Well, we are living on Trikru land. Lexa is still letting us." She looked over her shoulder at the Commander who was now watching Indra give orders to the few warriors she had brought inside medical with her. She looked back at her mother. "I say we be grateful and make peace as much as we can with our neighbours."

 

"I agree," Marcus said quickly, and Abby just rolled her eyes. "We don't need to make trouble for ourselves." Although he knew there were some within the Ark who didn't think the grounders could be anything but a threat. He looked at Clarke. "I'm going to need to do the rounds. There will be plenty of nervous people here if that army stays outside."

 

Abby raised a brow, still very uncomfortable with everything that was happening. "I can't see them leaving until she does." She afforded Lexa a loaded glance.

 

Clarke just nodded.

 

"I could use your help," Marcus continued, leaning in closer to Clarke. "I know you've been..." he trailed off, looking for an appropriate word. "...Absent, but you still have friends here. People who look up to you."

 

Clarke averted her gaze for a moment, feeling a little awkward all of a sudden.

 

"It'll help if you talk to people about this."

 

Clarke sucked in a breath and then chanced a look back at Kane. She licked her lips as she nodded. "I know," she sighed. "I will." She knew she needed to and it was clear Lexa would be safe enough now with her warriors around.

 

They all three turned to face the room.

 

"Chancellor," Lexa immediately addressed, now she had their full attention again. "I have ordered my army to set up camp outside your gates. Your people should not fear them. As I said you are not in danger."

 

Abby threw her a look that said, 'easier said than done', but Lexa took little notice.

 

"How long until I can walk?"

 

Abby pushed out a breath like it was an impossible question to answer. "That really depends."

 

Lexa held up a hand to silence the hushed murmurs in the room, especially the outburst she knew would come from Indra. The Commander remained calm. "It is important I continue on to Polis as soon as possible."

 

Abby scoffed, just a little. "Well I can't work miracles, Commander," she replied but was only met with a stern stare from Lexa.

 

"Just do everything you can," Lexa carried on. "I am sure you don't want me here longer than is necessary."

 

That much Abby agreed with. "I'll get Jackson and we can take another look at your leg." She paused, for a moment, the doctor in her not letting the Chancellor in her get rid of a patient before she was completely ready. "Providing you're feeling okay?"

 

"I am fine," the Commander lied and then hurried onto something else in case Clarke saw through it and said something. She raised her voice, a bit. "Two of my warriors will stay here with me, and another two will stand guard outside the door."

 

Abby just looked at her, knowing how much that would unnerve everyone. She just hoped no one particularly needed to be in medical before Lexa could leave.

 

"And it is best the knowledge of my injury is kept to those who already know." She waited for Abby to look at her properly. "I trust your people can respect that."

 

Abby straightened and crossed her arms, again. "So why are you here?"

 

Lexa squared her jaw. "A negotiation."

 

Abby paused. "In medical?"

 

Lexa sighed. "The specifics I leave to you," she said, a note of exasperation in her tone. "If your people demand them, tell them what you wish." She was beginning to understand why it was difficult for Clarke to control her people if they demanded the ins and outs of everything. She looked at Clarke. "Clarke and I came here on our way to Polis to warn you of the possible threat and to negotiate terms of our truce."

 

Abby was surprised. "Truce?"

 

"I have already extended you the courtesy of a truce, both before and during Clarke's stay at TonDC. It will remain that way unless you fire upon us."

 

"We won't," Kane interjected, wanting to assert himself on the conversation. He looked at the Commander. "You have my word."

 

Abby glared at him.

 

"Good," Lexa continued. She looked at her general. "Indra."

 

Indra nodded and then left the room, her orders to set up camp at the gates and patrol the surrounding woods for as long as it took Lexa to recover her most immediate task. Two of her warriors followed her and took up post outside the doors to medical and the remaining two stood with their backs to the wall at Lexa's right and left. Zeek continued to blend in with the far wall just inside the doors.

 

Indra paused a moment just outside of medical. "Taim veida beda zog raun frag emo fostaim op," she hissed at her warriors, careful to keep her voice low so no one would overhear. "Nami?" They simply nodded their understanding and then Indra carried on down the hall.

 

"We need to address our people," Kane said to Abby who nodded at him, both of them moving toward the door.

 

"I'll be back with Jackson to check on your leg," Abby said to Lexa, pausing at the door. Lexa nodded and then Abby looked at Clarke who was still loitering by the Commander's bedside. "Clarke. If you intend to talk to our people. Now's the time."

 

Clarke nodded. "In a minute," she replied quietly, and then Marcus pulled Abby from the room.

 

The warriors were far enough away from Lexa's bed to grant them a little privacy, so Clarke stepped as close as she could and lowered her voice considerably. "You're not fine."

 

Lexa exhaled, a little relieved to be left alone for a few moments. She afforded Clarke a small smile. "I am stronger than you give me credit for."

 

Clarke smiled, too. "Oh I know you're strong," she started, not intending to reference when Lexa lifted her up and carried her to the war table in her tent but funnily enough, that's exactly where her mind went. Lexa's too if the way her eyes darkened were anything to go by. Clarke quietly cleared her throat. "I watched you take down those Ice Nation warriors, remember?"

 

Lexa's smile widened, a little. "I remember," she all but whispered and then suddenly her disposition changed, as if it occurred to her just exactly where they were and what exactly was at stake. "If your mother can help me recover quicker then it must be done." Her eyes hardened then, the face of the Commander falling back into place. "I do not care about the pain."

 

Clarke sighed as she realised arguing would be redundant. If Lexa believed they had no time to waste then who was she to protest. She just nodded in response. "Okay. I'll be back later." She lingered for a moment, not sure of the correct way to part seeing as, well, seeing as nothing, she supposed. She just smiled tightly and dipped her head.

 

"Where are you going?" Lexa asked, before she realised that perhaps it didn't have anything to do with her.

 

Clarke raised her brow. "To talk to my people."

 

Lexa frowned. "Zeek will accompany you." She glanced at Zeek and raised her voice. "Shil em op."

 

"Lexa, I don't need a guard in here."

 

Lexa just stared at her as if she had no intention of taking no for an answer.

 

Clarke turned to Zeek. "Its fine," she said to him as he stepped forward. She turned back to Lexa. "Really," and then she left the room.

 

Lexa gave Zeek a curt nod and then he proceeded to follow Clarke into the hallway.

 

**

 

Clarke heard Zeek's footsteps behind her, the warrior not at all used to walking on metal and she would've made a joke about it, if she wasn't so apprehensive about seeing her friends and annoyed that he was following her in the first place. She spun to look at him and Zeek just carried on walking, stopping a few feet from her. Clarke opened her mouth to speak but Bellamy beat her to it.

 

"Clarke!" his voice bellowed down the corridor and she closed her eyes for a moment before she turned to face him.

 

"Bell."

 

He stopped just before her, not altogether sure if he should hug her or not. He was pleased to see her, of course, just not under these circumstances. He looked behind her at the sheer size of the Trikru warrior who stood there, not fazed at all about how out of place he seemed.

 

Bellamy nodded in the direction of medical. "So is it true? Is the Commander in there?"

 

Clarke glanced over her shoulder and saw Zeek regarding them both dangerously. Or more than likely, it was Bellamy his glare was fixed on. She sighed and started walking, grabbing Bellamy's arm to pull him with her. "What have you heard?" she asked blatantly stalling. Not sure at all about telling him the truth.

 

"That she's here, that there's trouble with another clan and we're working together again."

 

Clarke sucked in a breath. "Well that's about the size of it."

 

Bellamy abruptly stopped walking. He leaned in closer to her, right in at her shoulder. "Just like that? We're trusting _her_ again?"

 

Clarke knew Zeek was following and there was little chance of being able to lose him. She also heard the warrior's unease at how Bellamy spoke of the Commander. "No, not _just_ like that." She pulled on Bellamy's arm again and they carried on walking. She blinked a couple times as she wondered how best to phrase everything that had happened and how to make him believe this was the best thing to do. "It's," she started, a little uneasy. "More complicated than that."

 

Bellamy sighed, annoyed and frustrated at being kept in the dark. "Then tell me, Clarke," he said, his voice louder than before. He stopped as he turned to her once more, straightening his back and towering over her, somewhat. "You went to her, didn't you? That's where you've been."

 

Clarke was looking up at him, at the distance in his eyes and it only reiterated to her how much had changed in such a short space of time. She actually felt bad that her first instinct was to tell him what was going on purely so he would fall in line and support her. Not that he was her friend and that maybe she owed it to him. She looked at the floor, for a moment, feeling just as guilty as she felt justified in her initial thought.

 

She glanced back up again. "C'mon," she whispered, "I need to talk to all of you," and then she carried on walking down the hall.

 

Bellamy shook his head and followed reluctantly, Zeek hanging in the background but keeping both of them in sight.

 

**

 

Clarke took a deep breath and barged into Raven's workshop, not bothering to take a moment to steady herself beforehand. The walk there had been in silence and with each step her chest puffed out just that little bit more and she held her shoulders higher and broader with each passing moment. If she thought about it, Clarke would be surprised at how easy she was slipping back into this. Being on the Ark and with her people. About to rally her troops or as close to it as she could. It was like before. Sort of. There was a job to be done and she would do it. She would handle everything else later.

 

When she entered she was confronted with a whole load of, well no one. The workshop itself was heavily stocked, lots of added stuff since the last time she was there. New projects, old projects. Things that looked weird. It made Clarke smile, for a moment, before she heard the door open again with a bang and she turned to face it.

 

It was only Bellamy, though, and Clarke wasn't sure if she was relieved or not. She leaned her palm on Raven's work surface and rested her weight on it as Bellamy grabbed his radio and spoke into it.

 

"Raven?" he sent out into the cosmos, and they both waited.

 

Zeek entered the room as Bellamy's shadow and silently disappeared into the background, loitering at the rear of the workshop as his attention was stolen by the sheer amount of tech before him. Clarke did noticed him, however, and was impressed at how his footsteps no longer sounded when he walked and at how easily his hulking frame could blend into his surroundings.

 

"Raven?" Bellamy said again, and Clarke raised an eyebrow at him. All they got was static.

 

"Where is she?" Clarke asked, and Bellamy just shook his head.

 

" _Bell?"_ Octavia's voice came over the radio.

 

Bellamy jumped onto it. "O, where are you?"

 

There was a moment's pause.

 

" _At the gates._ " She responded. " _Why is there a whole grounder army here?_ "

 

Bellamy glared at Clarke. "Just come to Raven's workshop. I'll explain when you get here."

 

Clarke was about to speak up but he knew exactly what she was about to say.

 

"Have you seen Raven?" he asked into the radio.

 

There was some crackling before Octavia responded. " _No._ "

 

Bellamy sighed. "Fine. If you see her, bring her," and then he put the radio back on his belt.

 

Clarke pushed out a breath. "How about Jasper?" Clarke asked. "Monty?" She may as well do it all with one stone, she thought. At least it would be done with.

 

Bellamy leaned his back against the opposite work surface and folded his arms rather standoffishly over his chest. "You don't want to see Jasper right now," he responded. His expression quite indifferent.

 

Clarke frowned, but then of course, she understood. She swallowed at the prospect of Jasper still hating her, after all this time, and her not being there to work it out with him. She left out a bit of a deflated breath. "Well how about Monty?"

 

Bellamy just looked at her. "Jasper goes where Monty goes."

 

Clarke nodded, took a step away from the work surface and a few more steps away from Bellamy. She wasn't sure she could handle the distrust in his expression. She didn't get far before he spoke.

 

"So are you going to talk to me?"

 

Clarke closed her eyes as she contemplated. She supposed she should, and what would it matter if she repeated herself. Even if she didn't owe him anything, a part of her wanted him to understand.

 

He stood a little straighter against the bench and pushed out a breath. "What's going on with you and Lexa?"

 

Clarke turned perhaps a little too quickly. "What do you mean?" she asked, a deep furrow set in her brow. A nervous breath caught in her throat.

 

Bellamy shrugged. "You're here with her, aren't you? You've spent all this time with her, since the cave." He held Clarke's gaze and something seemed to give in her eyes. "What happened?"

 

The relief Clarke felt was heavenly. Even though she knew the only person who had any idea something _had_ happened between her and Lexa was Dax, Bellamy's words still worried her. She had to swallow a few times to get the moisture back in her throat. Then she ran a hand through her hair. She had to be careful, Zeek was in the room after all.

 

"I went to confront her," Clarke admitted quietly, and then she shook her head. "I don't really know why. I can't answer that," she whispered. "But I had to sort through things, figure it out in my head."

 

Bellamy didn't seem impressed. He knew, after all, he'd experienced it too. Or at least he thought he knew. There was some bitterness in his tone at the fact she got to run away. "And now you've done that?"

 

Clarke smiled bitterly. "No," she answered quickly. "But something is happening, and I need to find out what."

 

Bellamy cleared his throat, a bit, and glanced around the room. He didn't know if he was more upset or angry, that she'd sought solace by all accounts, with the person who betrayed them rather than with her own people. With _him_. He was caught between wanting to have it out with her, and not. "With another clan?"

 

"Yes," Clarke responded, "the Ice Nation." This was good, she thought. This she could talk about freely, without guilt. "Their leader, Nia, wants to rule the coalition."

 

"What's that got to do with us?" he asked flatly.

 

Clarke sighed. "It'll mean war." _Another one_ , she thought, and she knew he was thinking it too. "We won't be able to avoid it."

 

The door flung open and Octavia came in quickly, closely followed by Lincoln and Clarke was grateful for the break in tension. Or at least the break in _this_ tension.

 

"Is it true?" Octavia demanded as she strode toward her brother, not noticing Clarke at all. "Is she here?"

 

Lincoln hung back as his eyes wandered over to Clarke, his attention then drifting into the darkness as he felt the presence of someone else there, in the shadows.

 

Bellamy remained silent so Clarke responded for him. "Yes," she said, and then Octavia turned to face her. "She's here."

 

Octavia set her shoulders back and scoffed a little at the person before her. Clarke looked good, she supposed, but then being looked after in TonDC would do that. Guest of the Commander and all.

 

"Clarke," Octavia said, a little surprised. A little conflicted. "You're back."

 

Clarke stood up a little straighter. "I am."

 

A few moments passed before Octavia shrugged her shoulders. She still hadn't forgiven Clarke for the missile. Nor had she forgiven her for leaving them after the mountain. She held her palms out at her sides. "Why now?"

 

Just because Clarke expected the cool reception, it didn't mean she found it easy to deal with. She shuffled just once from foot to foot and swallowed her apprehension.

 

"It's Azgeda, isn't it?" Lincoln asked in way of an answer. Clarke glanced at him and was grateful, and Lincoln just nodded at her. "They attacked you in the forest."

 

"Yes," Clarke replied. She took a step forward then, into the centre of the room. "Look," she said as she took on a more authoritative tone, doing her best to ignore the flutter in her chest. "I know a lot of people don't trust Lexa," _or me_ , she thought, but quickly disregarded it. "But she told me about Azgeda. They're brutal, and their army is huge-"

 

"-You want us to fight with _her_ , don't you?" It was Bellamy, his face full of contempt. "After what she did to us." He pushed himself off the work surface and stepped toward her. "She abandoned us. Why do you want to help her?"

 

Clarke sighed and resigned herself to the fact she'd probably be having this conversation over and over. Before she even walked through the gates she knew she'd have to do a lot of defending Lexa, she had been prepared for it but standing here, in front of her friends with whom she had been through so much, she found her resolve wavering. Her confidence in her plan perhaps deteriorating.

 

But she hardened herself. She knew it was necessary so she cut to the chase. "The war will come to us anyway. At the moment I have an opportunity to go to Polis with Lexa and see exactly what's going on." She looked hard at Bellamy, trying to peer through his steely gaze. "We need to make sure we're on the right side and right now Lexa is protecting us-"

 

"-Why is Lexa's side the right one?" Bellamy threw back.

 

"Azgeda is anything but the right side," Lincoln cut in, and Clarke thanked God he was in the room. They all turned to him. "Clarke's right. The Ice Queen is worse than brutal." He looked at Bellamy. "You think the Commander is ruthless," and then he shook his head. "The best thing to happen in generations was when every clan joined the Commander's coalition. It put an end to the Queen's mindless killing. To her scheming and manipulation." He didn't always agree with Lexa's methods but he couldn't deny the things she had achieved. "Trust me when I say a coalition lead by Azgeda is something you don't want to see."

 

His words hung in the air for a few moments, as if hearing Clarke's words reinforced by someone considered a traitor by Trikru was something that couldn't be ignored.

 

Finally Octavia sighed and turned to her brother. "Look, Bell, I don't trust her either but what they're saying is right." Bellamy met her gaze. "Indra told me some stories, and she told me some about Lexa, too." That caught Clarke's attention, her eyes quickly snapping to Octavia's as Octavia looked at her in return, something in her expression softening just a little. She may have her issues with the Commander, but she couldn't help but respect her. Indra did after all. "I say let Clarke see what happens in Polis but Azgeda..." she trailed off as she shook her head, and she couldn't deny that a large part of her wanted to work with the general again. "...If they start something then we side with Trikru."

 

Bellamy threw his eyes to the ceiling as he fidgeted where he stood. The irritation bubbling away inside of him. "How can you say that?" he forced and then he glared at his sister. "She betrayed us. Left me to die. You. _All_ of us, and now you want to fall behind her?"

 

Lincoln was at Octavia's side in a second.

 

Bellamy carried on regardless. "What happened at that mountain," and then he swung his body round to face Clarke. "What _we_ had to do, was because of _her_."

 

There was silence as they all knew it was the truth and as Bellamy stared at Clarke harder, Clarke felt his defiance rattle at her. She bit her tongue as she felt like arguing with him but she knew that wouldn't help things. She also knew his anger was justified. She was still angry, she knew, perhaps should even be angrier, he was making her feel angrier but she managed to reign it in.

 

"She was saving her people," Octavia stated simply, feeling the need to diffuse the situation. "Isn't that all any of us try to do?"

 

Bellamy let his sisters words sink in and he backed away a little, from Clarke. He looked at the floor as he sighed, his shoulders losing their rugged edge. "And what makes you think she'll do anything differently next time, huh?" he asked no one in particular, a lot of the rage gone from his tone, though. "Sacrifice us to save her own people. Only this time to the Ice Nation."

 

Clarke saw an opportunity and she took it. "I know exactly how you feel," she started, because she did, after all. She knew exactly about the guilt and the rage and finding someone to blame. "Trust me. I've been there, I've lived it. I'm _still_ living it."

 

Bellamy cut his eyes at her. "You seem to be over it just fine."

 

Clarke laughed, sourly and bitterly and as if it left a nasty aftertaste in her mouth. "I'm not," and now her voice was low. Full of dirt and gravel and the words felt like they cut at her throat. "I'm just doing what needs to be done. This war will come whether we're ready for it or not." She took a step closer to him. "And I'm going to make damn sure we're ready."

 

He stared down his nose at her. "Really?"

 

Clarke narrowed her eyes. "Yes."

 

"By being with Lexa?"

 

The comment made Clarke falter, just briefly, and she huffed out a breath getting quite frustrated. She frowned at him heavily as she pointed at the floor. "By being in the most advantageous position possible and that _is_ with Lexa, whether you like it or not."

 

He didn't like it, not one bit. Just as he didn't like her abandoning them in the first place. Just as he didn't like her walking away from the cave the last time he saw her and never going back. He'd checked a good number of times. She'd never returned and instead she'd decided to live with the grounders and now when she finally _did_ come home, it was with Lexa.

 

Clarke was just getting more and more exasperated. "Do you want us to survive or not?" she demanded of him.

 

He stepped right into her personal space. "I will always do what's best for our people."

 

"Then trust me," Clarke said quickly. "This, is."

 

He pushed out a breath and clenched his teeth, hard, infuriated that Clarke was probably right. He knew that her first priority was always to protect her people. Or at least it used to be. He couldn't help the bitterness though, the feeling of betrayal. Of being abandoned as easily as she had abandoned them.

 

He stared right at her. "Just remember who your people are, Clarke. Us, not them."

 

She felt guilt, then. Deep in her gut and thick in her veins. She had to physically stop herself from looking away. "I do know that," she said, and it came out of throaty whisper.

 

Bellamy took another step back. "We'll see." He turned then and left the room, striding out of Raven's workshop and letting the door slam heavily behind him.

 

Octavia sighed and stared at the closed door. After a moment she turned to Clarke. "He'll be okay."

 

Clarke just raised her eyebrows, a heavy weight feeling like it was pretty close to landing on her. She swallowed painfully and pushed out a breath. "I hope so," she replied, sinking her teeth into her bottom lip.

 

"Stay here," Octavia instructed, "I'll go after him."

 

She was out the door before Clarke could respond and Lincoln caught it before it had time to close again.

 

He paused as he held the door open for himself and regarded Clarke softly. "It's good to have you back, Clarke," he said with a smile and after a moment, Clarke returned it.

 

Lincoln then disappeared and Clarke was left alone. She blew out a long, hard breath through her lips and reached up with her hand to rub at the back of her neck. She felt exhausted, emotionally overwrought and she wondered if now had really been the best time to talk with her friends.

 

Her gaze fell once more on Raven's projects that were mostly lining the shelves opposite her and she closed her eyes, resting her weight back on her heels as she took in a few calming breaths. She needed to sleep, she considered, before she remembered that Zeek should still be somewhere in the room. She opened her eyes and tried to find him, not being able to pick out his form amongst the shadows.

 

Then she heard a movement from somewhere behind her and she turned carefully, squinting into the darkness. "Zeek?" she asked, straining to hear anything more. There was nothing though, not for several seconds until someone came into view.

 

"Is that your grounder bodyguard?"

 

It was Raven, stepping rather loudly from the back of the room. She didn't even look at Clarke as she came into view, choosing to drag herself over to her workbench and flop down onto the stool behind it.

 

"How long have you been back there?" Clarke asked, a distinct level of wariness in her tone at Raven's demeanour.

 

"Long enough," Raven replied, letting her weight relax into the stool as she winced at the pain in her leg. She rubbed her thigh briefly but that was all the attention she was prepared to give it.

 

Clarke's shoulders deflated. Raven wasn't even looking at her. She wasn't sure how she could handle Raven not liking her, it was something she worried about since the moment she left. "How's your leg?"

 

Raven scoffed. "Like you care."

 

That hurt her, and her eyes began to sting. "Of course I care," Clarke responded in a whisper.

 

Raven looked up at her, then. "How long's it been, Clarke?" There were many emotions creating a violent storm in her eyes; hurt, hostility, suspicion. Distrust and perhaps the one that hurt Clarke the most; disgust?

 

Clarke hoped that wasn't what she saw.

 

"Months," Raven carried on when Clarke said nothing. "It's been months, and then I find out you've been with _them_. The grounders, living with them, like they're good enough for you, but we're not."

 

Clarke vehemently shook her head. "It's not like that-"

 

"-Then what is it like, Clarke? Do you even know anything that's happened here since you left?"

 

Clarke pulled her lips through her teeth and swallowed awkwardly. She felt the sweat gather in her palms and at the back of her neck and she was certain she felt her hands shake. Raven was right, wasn't she? They were all right.

 

Raven scoffed, again, already knowing the answer to her own question. "Have you even asked?"

 

Clarke looked down at the ground then, at the way the cold grey of the metal blended in with the dirt and dust on her boots. She didn't know what to say, or even if there was anything to say.

 

Raven shook her head and glanced across her work top. She grabbed a radio she had been in the middle of repairing and started fiddling with it. "You've been too busy finding salvation with the enemy," she muttered.

 

"They're not the enemy," Clarke said like a reflex, immediately knowing it was the wrong thing to say.

 

Raven raised an eyebrow, unimpressed as she put far too much effort into unscrewing a dial. "You sure about that?"

 

Clarke paused as she looked at her friend, the regret and guilt filling up every empty void in her chest. It hurt that Raven couldn't look at her, and it hurt even more that when she did there was nothing but pain there, staring back at her. She took the opportunity to look her over; Raven didn't look well and Clarke made a mental note to bring it up with her mother next time she saw her.

 

"Yes," Clarke replied, her voice still quiet and uneasy.

 

Raven thumped the radio down onto the counter top. "Really? Because the last time I checked your _friend_ had me tortured, demanded Finn's death, let a missile fall on TonDC _and_ left us all for dead." Her gaze was unmoving and Clarke felt every word as intently as they were meant. "Sure sounds like the enemy to me."

 

A fleeting thought went to Zeek and him finding out about the missile but she couldn't spare any consideration for anyone who wasn't Raven. Not right then. "There were reasons for all of that," she countered, trying to make her believe it but she didn't hold out much hope. She knew Raven knew there were reasons, but Clarke was aware anger hardly let any of them matter.

 

"Yeah. Keep telling yourself that."

 

Clarke tried to think of something good to say. Something beneficial that would make Raven understand that she was only doing what was necessary. What would save them all in the end but nothing came other than words in defence of Lexa. "Look..."

 

"And then you bring her here," Raven cut in, a look of astonishment on her face. "To save her."

 

Clarke raised her brow. How did Raven know that? She shook her head. "We need her-"

 

"-Yeah, yeah," Raven muttered. "I heard you trying to convince the others. Seems like you did a good job, too. Well done you." Raven was pretty much done, in that moment. She knew she was letting her anger dictate her words but she didn't care. She was angry at Clarke, and she wasn't worried about letting her know it even if she was going a little over the top. Clarke deserved over the top. She had gone. Ran, when Raven had no option but to stay put. "So," she sighed, "if there's nothing else. I'm sure you have other people to see."

 

"Raven-"

 

"-No, Clarke. Just, no," and quickly she was angry again. She thumped her palm down onto her bench and would've been on her feet if her damn leg didn't hurt so much. "You might have been able to work through it, and you might be able to convince Octavia that what you want to do is the thing we all need to do. Hell, she's already half grounder and once you get one Blake the other one comes free but don't you even try to convince me." She did actually stand then but with most of her weight braced on her hands, her fingers digging into the counter top. She scowled at her too, for emphasis. "Don't you remember what she did? What she _drove_ you to do?"

 

Clarke took a tentative step back. She knew Raven was talking about Finn and she felt the emotion pool behind her eyes at the thought of Raven's scream. At the knife in her hand and the life as it slipped out of his body. The lump in her throat almost choked her. "Of course I do," she whispered, her voice clogged full of regret. It was heavy and it hurt even now. Even forever, she presumed.

 

"Good," Raven hissed between clenched teeth. "Because Bellamy is right. _She_ is to blame. Finn, the missile. The mountain. You want to get cosy with her, go to Polis with her," she shrugged. "Fine. But you can count, me, out."

 

Raven slumped back down on her stool and turned her attention back to the broken radio in front of her.

 

Clarke felt lost, again, and set adrift. The people she loved disliked her, hated her, even, and she wasn't sure how to remedy it. She didn't know if it could be remedied and that was the thing that hurt most of all. She had to try, though, and she turned her mind upside down trying to find the right words.

 

"You're still my friend, Raven. Still my people and even when I'm not here, it doesn't mean you don't matter to me and it doesn't mean I won't do everything I can to keep you safe." There was silence. "It's all I ever try to do."

 

Raven still didn't answer, she just glared even more intently at her worktop.

 

Clarke sighed and she felt heavy, that weight from before firmly crushing her, now. She opened the door quietly and left.

 

**

 

Clarke paused after walking a few steps along the hallway and then she reached out for the wall. Her fingertips barely touching it as she squeezed her eyes shut, her forehead furrowing with the way her insides clenched. She wanted to leave then, suddenly. Go to Polis. TonDC. Anything. She knew Zeek could pick Lexa up and carry her out of here but then, she thought, perhaps that was the problem.

 

Just because Lexa had helped her, just because she had _kissed_ her, it didn't matter. Her people mattered more and that's how she had to think, again. Being confronted by them only served to drive that home.

 

"Your friends do not seem... friendly."

 

Zeek's voice made her jump and she spun around quickly to find the warrior standing only a few paces behind her.

 

She breathed out a sigh of relief, her mind still caught up in knots, however. "They're angry with me," was all she said.

 

Zeek couldn't get his head around that. "Why? They owe their lives to you."

 

Clarke really wished it was as easy as that. "It's not that simple."

 

Zeek stepped closer to her so she had to look up to meet his eyes. He was frowning, like he had absolutely no idea what she could possibly mean. "It is," he responded, searching her eyes and disliking these friends of hers even more with each passing second. "This is how they repay you?"

 

Clarke's head was starting to hurt and honestly all she wanted was a dark room to sit in. Alone. She shook her head and pushed out a breath, his question one far too difficult to answer. She turned away from him. "C'mon," she said quietly, and then she walked away from him.

 

**

 

Clarke wandered back into medical at some ridiculously early hour of the morning, her footsteps echoing around the room as she entered from the door that was held open for her by one of the guards standing outside.

 

She couldn't even spare a smile for him she felt that done in. Utterly exhausted and emotionally drained just didn't do how she felt justice. She stopped a few steps away from Lexa's bed, her eyes roaming over the Commander's slumbering form and then she looked at the guards inside the room, both of them with their attention fixed at the once again closed doors.

 

Clarke worried herself, not sure exactly how she felt about the ten or so conversations she'd had with various people since she was last here. She was happy she ran into Miller after her visit to Raven's workshop, him being ecstatically happy to see her and forcing her basically, to go and talk with everyone else. It seemed Monroe, Monty and Harper, as well as Miller had no problem with her time away and were just glad to see her again. Obviously it was just her closest friends whom she had hurt the most.

 

Clarke sighed. Even though she was glad for the last few hours, she'd even spoken with Sinclair and Jackson, Raven and Bellamy's words were still the most prominent ones on her mind. They weighed heavily on her and she couldn't help but take note of them. She looked at Lexa and sighed, again. Should the person who betrayed all of her people be the person Clarke was letting herself develop feelings for?

 

It made her frown and she felt so, so conflicted. She was just starting to work through all this and now, being back here, it was making her doubt everything all over again.

 

Especially Lexa.

 

Clarke tilted her head back and stared at the ceiling. She wished she was outside right then. Wished she could see the stars and feel the cool night air as it breezed over her skin. She was certain it would help more than the dull metal surface that reflected back at her.

 

"Did you see your friends?" Lexa asked quietly, Clarke's eyes closing as the Commander's soft tones reached her ears.

 

Clarke didn't move for a good few moments. She didn't want to think right then. There were more important things anyway, like a probable war with a hostile clan.

 

"Yes," Clarke said eventually. Her head tipping forwards so she could look at the Commander once more.

 

Lexa took it all in in an instant. The way Clarke's shoulders drooped forwards. The dull expression in her eyes. The weariness and exhaustion in her frame. Lexa's eyes moved over her from her head to her knees and back again. "They do not like me being here."

 

Clarke smiled then, albeit sadly. Or at least she tried to smile. "I think both yours and my people have that in common."

 

Lexa smiled tightly in return. She hadn't expected anything less, she was just sorry all of this was causing Clarke pain.

 

Clarke stepped forward then, right up and against the side of the bed. She couldn't help herself and didn't afford it any thought. She simply reached down and played with the sheets by Lexa's hip, taking in a very heavy and uneven breath. It seemed with as tired as her brain was her body simply took over and Clarke simply didn't want to stop it.

 

Clarke looked down at her fingers as they grasped at the white material of the sheets before she saw Lexa's hand come into view, her breath catching for a moment and then the Commander's fingers covered her own and when they squeezed, Clarke bit down on her lip.

 

She closed her eyes for a moment and wished the Commander didn't make her feel this way. A pointless wish she knew, but she wished it nonetheless. It would be so much simpler, that way.

 

"What's wrong?" Lexa asked, her voice doing that soft, sincere thing again and Clarke didn't think she could handle it.

 

She looked up though, and smiled tightly at the Commander. "Nothing," she lied. "It's just been a long day."

 

Lexa knew there was something more. A lot more, even, but she knew better than to push. Instead she settled for squeezing Clarke's fingers a couple more times as she tilted her head to the side so she could regard her properly. Drink in her form as it had been entirely too long since Clarke was last there. "You're tired, you should sleep."

 

Clarke nodded. She was so tired she thought she could fall asleep quite easily where she stood. Lexa caressing her fingers like she was all the night through. "Yeah," she whispered. "I will." She sighed then, her shoulders doing an exaggerated shrug. "Raven knows you're injured."

 

Lexa blinked a few times and her thumb stalled against Clarke's knuckle before she carried on its movement. She let a moment or so pass. "Will she say anything?"

 

Clarke shrugged properly, then. "I don't know." There was a short pause as Clarke wondered if she should say anything more. Then she remembered something. "Zeek knows about the missile."

 

Lexa pushed out a breath and then she nodded minutely, just once. That she wasn't worried about because Zeek knew the way of things. He was once of her most promising warriors.

 

Clarke was pleased at least at Lexa's lack of response. At least it was something she didn't have to concern herself with so she looked at the chair that was just to the side of Lexa's bed and then she reluctantly pulled her hands out of the Commander's grip and sat on it, relieved to finally have the weight off her feet. "How's your leg?"

 

Lexa raised her brow, her fingers slowly running over the sheet where Clarke's hands had just been. Not being able to do anything about Raven, she left it to Clarke's better judgement and then she thought back to Abby and Jackson's impromptu therapy session. "You're mother is...thorough," she responded with a large amount of disdain.

 

It made Clarke smile and Lexa was instantly glad she had said it. She watched as Clarke attempted to curl up in the chair as she obviously tried to settle in for the night. Lexa let herself settle into her bed, too. "You do not have to stay," the Commander offered, glad beyond words that that was what Clarke wanted to do.

 

"I know," Clarke replied with a yawn, feeling the Commander's eyes on her after she had closed her own. She rested her head on the back of the chair and did her best to get comfortable, knowing sleep would come but unsure at how restful it would be.

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
> **  
> Translations.  
>   
> 
>  **"Sha, Heda."**  
>  "Yes, Commander."
> 
>  **"Gada emo bash yu in?"**  
>  "Have they harmed you?"
> 
>  **"Skaikru branwada."**  
>  "Foolish Sky person."
> 
>  **"-Em pleni!"**  
>  "-Enough!"
> 
>  **"Taim veida beda zog raun frag emo fostaim op. Nami?"**  
>  "If the enemy should attack, kill them first. Understand?"
> 
>  **"Shil em op."**  
>  "Protect her."
> 
>  **Trikru.**  
>  Woods clan.
> 
>  **Azgeda.**  
>  Ice Nation.


	11. len

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Indra gets angry, Raven lets Clarke know how she feels about things and lots of cute Clexa closeness :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for the delay - but here is chapter 11! I hope you all like it :) Please let me know in the usual ways; by leaving a comment or finding me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/talented_gemx) or [tumblr.](http://talentedgemx.tumblr.com)
> 
> Be sure to check out [UniCon](http://www.uniconconventions.com) if you haven't already! It's a multi-fandom LGBTQ+ convention taking place in London in June! I will be there :) as will Floriana Lima! :O

Clarke strode through the metal hallways of the Ark for the umpteenth time in two days. Saying there was tension would be an understatement to say the least and Clarke was honestly getting sick of the sound of her own voice. Lexa wanted to be in Polis, Indra wanted Lexa out of medical and in her Command tent outside the gates at the very least. Actually everyone wanted Lexa out of medical, and that was probably the only thing people agreed on.

Clarke had argued with her mother, her friends, Indra quite a few times and Lexa quite a few times more than that. She knew Lexa could tell she wasn't being honest about the tension between her and her friends. Clarke had found herself quite a few times sitting with the Commander after yet another heated debate with Bellamy or Raven and she found it quite odd, really, that the only place she found peace at the moment was in Lexa's company. That was of course until she started talking about leaving for Polis and Clarke would point out that she couldn't walk yet.

Really the Commander was a terrible patient.

Clarke sighed deeply as she approached medical. Being back on the Ark was a double edged sword. Seeing everyone again was of course a good thing, even though all she was doing with some people was argue. She hated the way things were with Raven. She hated the way Jasper avoided her like the plague. She had tried to speak with him but his eyes were so consumed with pain that her words stalled in her throat and then he was gone again. Bellamy was begrudgingly onside and she had Octavia to thank for that. Luckily everyone else was behind her and at least the last two days had provided her with ample time to make sure that was the case. They trusted her, or were scared of her or at the very least scared of Lexa so, at least that meant she could lead them again. Or so she hoped.

She paused as the doors to medical came into view to gather herself, just having gone another round of tension with Raven. Things had marginally improved and she did hope Octavia could help with that as well but she wasn't holding her breath. Clarke hadn't really known Raven for that long that much was true, but she knew she could hold a grudge. Raven was the type; very headstrong and strong willed. Clarke would just have to win her over in some other way but she had no idea what that was.

Clarke also hoped that Lexa would be in a better mood when she opened the double doors and walked inside. Yesterday afternoon had been especially difficult when the Commander tried to walk for the first time since taking the arrow. Clarke swallowed, remembering back. It didn't go well and unfortunately for Dax that was when he had chosen to arrive at Camp Jaha and he certainly felt the brunt of Lexa's frustrations.

 

_"Heda," Dax said as he entered the room. His face as relieved as it was apprehensive. He strode across the room without a second thought and quickly his attention fell to her injured leg. He stopped at the sight of it, perhaps only just realising how close his Commander had come to death. Clarke thought he looked like he wanted to wrap Lexa up and hug her for all he was worth, but then his shoulders went back as if he was remembering his place. "I am pleased you are well," he said after a moment, his head ducking a little as he received Lexa's dangerous gaze._

_Lexa sucked in a quick breath, it doing nothing to appease her agitated state. "'Well' would not be the word I would use, Dax," she said in a low, rumbling voice._

_"I am sorry, Heda," Dax said, swallowing down a somewhat nervous breath. He knew exactly to what she was referring._

_Lexa just glared daggers at him, the weight of her gaze the heaviest Clarke had ever seen it. Dax already looked battered enough, the evidence of him taking on a number of Azgeda spies singlehandedly scattered all over his face and arms. A good portion of his face being shadowed in nasty purple bruises and ragged cuts and Clarke could only imagine how bad his scars were elsewhere on his body. Clarke couldn't help the frown that occupied her brow as she gazed at him. He was pretty much black and blue. Lexa, however, didn't seem at all concerned for his health._

_Dax chose to regard the floor rather than his Commander. "I knew you would heal here. There was no certainty you would in TonDC."_

_Lexa was working hard to hold in her anger. Her state of mind wasn't due to Dax and his actions in the forest although his decision was highly unorthodox. She was angry now because to her injury, the blazing level of pain that was rupturing down her leg and up her side and the fact that she couldn't be where she needed to be. It was only a matter of time before Azgeda reported that the Commander still wasn't in Polis and that would be all it took to make Nia suspicious._

_Lexa burned her gaze into Dax's forehead. Her coalition would not fold due to an arrow to her leg. Nia would not capitalise on this, Lexa wouldn't allow it. She hated inaction, and she hated not being in her city at such a crucial time as this when her presence there was long overdue anyway._

_She cleared her throat and the sound made Dax look up, his brow set and his shoulders rolled forwards ready to take what his Heda would dole out. "Your decision was not wise, Dax," she said slowly and rather dangerously. "But it was the correct one."_

_For the first time since Lexa entered medical the tension in the room eased and Dax's demeanour visibly relaxed. He even blinked a few times as he sucked in a long breath and Clarke let out a quiet sigh of relief. Dax's gaze flicked to her briefly before it feel back squarely on the Commander._

_"Medically," Lexa continued as if she felt the ease in the air wasn't completely warranted, her words becoming louder and more clipped as her sentence tapered off. "Politically it could not be more wrong."_

_Dax straightened and he clasped his hands behind his back, his jaw jutting out in that familiar grounder way Clarke was getting more and more familiar with. "Forgive me, Heda," he began. "You are alive; politically there could not be a better outcome."_

_Lexa clenched her jaw and felt the defiance rattle through her. She wasn't about to argue the toss with him. She of course knew coming to Camp Jaha was the right call however she couldn't voice that out loud to her people. Indra was right about that. It made her look weak, and Lexa could not afford to look weak._

_"Politically," Lexa started, her voice several octaves louder than it was a moment ago, her tone completely rigid. "I cannot remain here when there is no longer a reason for me to be. I am expected in Polis and it grows more urgent every day."_

_Clarke shifted her attention between them, hesitating when she was about to step forward and yet again say how it was too soon for Lexa to move. The Commander simply held her hand up to stall her response as if she knew it was coming. Her attention remaining fixed on her general. She dismissed the prospect of reprimanding Dax and informing him he was wrong, however much he needed to be told as there was something much more urgent to discuss, and something very important Dax needed to do._

_"Is there any evidence of further Azgeda movement on Trikru land?"_

_"No, Heda," Dax replied quickly, glad to be moving onto something else. "I killed a high number of them and sent the last one off with a message."_

_Lexa pinned him with her gaze. "What message?"_

_Dax lifted his jaw a little higher, if that was possible and his eyes became a little wild. A little like they contained a high amount of barely concealed fury. He flashed his teeth as he spoke. "That further unauthorised Azgeda presence on Trikru land would not be tolerated, and each I would dispatch to the next life with my sword cutting through their throats."_

_Lexa didn't move and her expression didn't waver but Clarke could still tell that emotion shot through her at Dax's words. After a moment the Commander's brow twitched a little and the corner of her lips curled into a barely noticeable smirk. She was proud, and Clarke couldn't tell if Dax knew it but nevertheless, she was. Very much._

_It was only a moment but then Lexa's expression was impassive again. "I need you to go to Polis. Find Pius, tell him what happened here. Then meet with Luna and find out what she knows of the clans."_

_Dax just nodded, he chest jutting out like he knew he was being entrusted with an important task._

_"You are there in my stead. Take two of your most trusted warriors with you. You are there to Command and rally those loyal to me, as Gustus did before you."_

_Dax nodded again, the slightest hint of emotion betraying his expression at the mention of his first._

_"Pius will assist you." It wouldn't be the first time one of Lexa's generals watched over Polis in her absence during times of hostility. When there was peace it didn't matter, Pius could handle the day to day and did so even when she was there, but when there was dissent among the clans it was necessary for a trusted warrior to maintain order. To be threatening and ruthless when necessary. Pius was her best advisor, in fact her only advisor now and politically he belonged to Polis more than he belonged to her so technically, he needed to remain neutral in order to serve obediently no matter who was on the throne. He wasn't permitted bias, but Lexa did know he detested Nia and way she ruled Azgeda. Obviously though, that wasn't common knowledge._

_Dax swallowed and if he was anxious about what Lexa was ordering him to do, he didn't show it. "What of you, Heda?"_

_Lexa took in a breath as she considered the question, feeling the air expand her chest. She needed to give the spies something to keep them busy. "We must assume Azgeda is watching," she began, contemplation heavy in her tone. "We must fool them, make them look elsewhere. Speak with Indra and tonight send a party back to TonDC. You will go with two warriors to Polis and send another group to the Glowing Forest and Plains Riders."_

_Clarke frowned, not following Lexa's reasoning. "Commander, why?"_

_Dax already knew. His gaze flicked from Clarke back to Lexa. "They will assume you are with me."_

_Lexa nodded minutely. "Then you will make it obvious I am not."_

_Clarke looked at Lexa, sort of catching on. "So they won't know where you are?"_

_Lexa half turned her head to Clarke but kept her gaze in front of her. "But they will assume I have left."_

_Clarke raised an eyebrow. "If they're watching at all."_

_"They are watching," Dax interjected._

_Clarke looked at him. "Even though both of our people have sent groups into the forest and haven't found any trace of any more Azgeda spies."_

_"There are spies, Clarke," Lexa continued softly, as if only to her. "We must always assume they are there."_

_Clarke sighed, wondering just how invisible Azgeda spies could be. But then she supposed a good number of Trikru swooped down silently from the trees to kill some of her people when they first landed so, she knew it was possible. "And when do we leave?" she asked begrudgingly, knowing there was no way Lexa would let herself be kept here much longer._

_Lexa looked again to Dax, her tone substantially more authoritative. "You have your orders. Clarke and I shall follow you shortly."_

_"Sha, Heda." Dax bowed his head and then turned to leave._

_"Dax," Lexa said almost immediately, not letting him get very far. He turned back at the sound of her voice._

_Lexa let a small smile invade her lips, her tone becoming much warmer and almost friendly. "Gustus would be proud of you."_

_Dax immediately looked at the floor, a sudden onset of emotion engulfing him that he wasn't at all expecting. He swallowed, thickly, more than grateful of the sentiment from her. "Mochof, Heda," he replied, keeping his head down as he once again turned and quickly left the room._

_Clarke couldn't stop the flood of affection she felt even if she tried. Lexa needn't have said that, she needn't have passed along such a thing to make her general feel proud of himself. To make him feel like he would have earned the approval of his mentor, if of course he didn't already know it. She didn't know why she was surprised, though. She knew Lexa cared, and just because she ruled with vice like authority and had to make inexplicably hard choices, it didn't mean she didn't care for all of her people as if they all were her seconds. In fact such a thing would just make losing any of them harder._

_Clarke gazed at Lexa with growing respect and she knew that everything she was feeling could possibly only makes things more difficult in the not too distant future. She bit on her lip for a moment. "That was nice of you."_

_Lexa raised her eyebrows. "It is the truth," she responded, and then, "Gustus taught him well. I wouldn't expect anything less."_

_Clarke smiled as she wondered whether or not it was reflex for Lexa to backtrack on any possible perceived weakness on her part. Like showing affection for her generals. She decided to change the subject. "So when are we leaving?"_

_Lexa sighed heavily as if she knew the question would only lead to an argument but luckily, their impending heated debate was interrupted._

_"I would like, if it's not too much trouble to be able to get into medical without having to make an appointment with your guards," Abby announced with fervent annoyance in her tone, throwing a glare at Zeek as she barged in through the double doors._

_Zeek was hot on her heels. "Moba, Heda," he apologised, clearly agitated with the Chancellor now beside him. "Em nou set raun."_

_Lexa held up her hand, actually relieved the conversation with Clarke would be postponed. "Em ait," she responded._

_"I mean it," Abby continued, still looking enraged that she was no longer in control of her medical station. "I do need to get in here for reasons other than you, Commander."_

_Clarke sighed and rolled her eyes, really hoping her mother wasn't going to put Lexa back in her A-grade mood._

_"It was necessary for me to speak with my general, Chancellor. Now he is gone please," and then the Commander gestured around the room. "Use it as you wish."_

_The look on her mother's face would have been highly amusing if Clarke wasn't witnessing what had the potential to turn into another world war. All in the confines of medical on the Ark. Clarke sucked in a breath and prepared herself to become peace-keeper at any given moment. Zeek looking intensely like he was prepared to slit her mother's throat right there and then but fortunately, and Clarke had no idea why, Abby's shoulders suddenly relaxed and her expression took on a look of complete calm._

_"Perhaps we could take another look at your leg," Abby said to Lexa, thinking that would be the quickest way to get the Commander out of the Ark altogether. "I have an hour now, as long as you feel up to it after this morning?"_

_Lexa's brow twitched a little and Clarke could easily tell that this would be a round of showmanship on the Commander's part. Not prepared to look weak in front of the Chancellor, and all that. "I do," Lexa responded, and that was Clarke's queue to leave._

_"I'll leave you to it," Clarke sighed, stepping toward the door. She looked at Lexa. "I'll be back later." Clarke didn't wait for a response before she left and with one quick nod from Lexa in Zeek's direction, he was quick to follow her._

**

Clarke walked past the guards and barged into medical without any hindrance but was immediately confronted by Indra and Lexa, clearly in the middle of a disagreement. Undoubtedly regarding Lexa still being on the Ark. Indra, Clarke was learning was certainly not afraid to voice her opinions to Lexa, especially if it had something to do with 'the way things were' on the ground. She wondered for a moment if it had something to with then being from the same clan. Perhaps Lexa afforded the general a certain amount of leeway because of that as she couldn't imagine the Commander letting anyone else lecture her repeatedly on the same issue.

Both Indra and Lexa's attention turned to Clarke when she entered the room but whereas Lexa's eyes seemed to brighten at her presence, Indra merely scoffed out a breath and quickly turned back to her Heda. If anything, it seemed like the general became even angrier.

The silence that followed though was palpable.

"I uhm, can come back," Clarke offered awkwardly with a thumb gesturing over her shoulder to the exit.

Lexa sighed. "No. Perhaps you can help," and then she eyed Indra who eyed her just as intently in return. Lexa's gaze then fell on Clarke. "Indra believes staying here will prompt an attack from Azgeda."

Clarke's brow furrowed. "Even after sending your warriors out last night? I thought the purpose was to draw their attention away from us."

"It was," Lexa responded sternly.

Indra though, wasn't having it. "It would be foolish for all of their spies to leave. Why else would your army remain here if not to protect you?"

"The intention was to keep them guessing though, right?" Clarke inquired, not really seeing what Indra's point was.

Indra turned to her with a snarl. "I know what the intention was, Sky girl."

Clarke shrugged. "Well any attack would be stupid because they'd be outnumbered and if they are stupid enough, then surely the Commander is better protected inside the Ark."

Indra cut her eyes away from Clarke and sighed heavily.

"In here we can see them coming," Clarke continued. "The fences are electrified. The enemy is not getting through them." That in fact gave her an idea. She glanced at Indra. "Perhaps you would all be safer inside the gates."

"We can protect ourselves," Indra growled. "We do not need your help." She turned fully to Clarke then, and took a step toward her. "It is the enemy inside the gates that are a bigger concern."

Clarke was affronted and her expression screamed it. "You think my mother saved the Commander's life just to kill her?" Clarke searched Indra's eyes for her reasoning but all she could find was contempt.

"It is not just your mother in here, Clarke," Lexa said after a few moments when Indra remained silent.

Clarke looked behind the general, then, and regarded Lexa. "You're safe in here. I promise."

Indra though wasn't done with her point. "It is a sign of weakness that the Commander remains here. She must be with her people."

"Indra..." Lexa warned.

"Heda-"

Lexa just raised her hand, apparently reaching her limit on leeway for this particular subject. "-Pleni," she glared at her general. "Ai na gon we nodotaim. Trigeda-de nou chek ai bilaik disha au. Ai nou laik kwelen taim ai bants hir."

"Heda..."

Lexa, though, for all of Indra's complaining knew her point was valid. It was time to leave, pain or not. But regardless she wouldn't look weak on her arrival in Polis. "Yu get daun bilaik ain get daun," she sighed, and then she looked at Clarke. "What do you think, Clarke?" she asked. "With injuries like this, how long before I will walk?"

Clarke exhaled a breath, her eyebrows going up as she shook her head, a little bit. "I'm not sure."

Lexa just stared at her impassively.

Clarke licked her lips. "Maybe a week-"

"-Nowe!" Indra fumed. "Heda disha leyos."

Lexa had to physically stop herself from rolling her eyes, knowing the rant her general would surely embark upon. Indra's passion was genuinely second to none and it was one of the reasons why she liked her so much.

"It needs to heal before you can put any weight on it," Clarke continued regardless. "Otherwise you'll aggravate the wound."

Indra's attention switched between Clarke and the Commander as quickly as her words tumbled out. "Even another day is out of the question!" and then she slipped into Trigedasleng as her fury didn't allow her time to translate. "Disha branwoda yu kom mou ifi au mou taim yu set daun hir. Azgeda strat zog raun en Polis gaf yu in. Mou taim yu set raun kwelen yu kom au!"

Lexa's hand flew up again and it was all Indra needed to know to shut up. She huffed out several breaths however and it was obvious she was having trouble reigning herself in.

"Indra," Lexa started after a quiet few moments. "Get yu rein in," she continued with a severe, penetrative glare. She looked to Clarke as she weighed up the situation. She really couldn't wait much longer. "Won sintaim den osir bants," she directed at Indra, knowing she had no other choice than to leave before she was ready. "Sis gonakru op en lufa trimani au. Ai dula nou gaf mafta op."

"Sha, Heda," Indra responded, feeling much easier knowing that soon the Commander would be on her way and out of this metal tube. She threw Clarke a cutting glance as she made her way out of the room.

Clarke looked at Lexa, her expression now a knowing one. "What did you say?"

Lexa didn't look at her, just winced a little as she flexed the muscle in her leg. "I have had worse injuries than this."

"Lexa-"

"-We must leave, Clarke," Lexa stated with a sigh as she regarded Clarke with exasperated eyes. "Polis waits for us. The Ice Queen will not."

Clarke really, just couldn't argue the point anymore. If the Commander thought she was up to leaving then, who was she to disagree? If she was honest with herself the metal walls of the Ark were beginning to feel like they were closing in on her and she assumed it would be even worse for Lexa. Riding to Polis though with a target on their backs she pondered, wouldn't be much more favourable but she was eager to find out what exactly was going on amongst the clans in Polis, and what exactly the chance of another war was. The sooner she got there, the sooner she'd know.

Clarke stepped closer to the bed and then she shrugged, her head shaking a little. "Okay," she sighed, and then she angled her chin toward Lexa's leg. "As long as you think your thigh can take it."

Lexa smiled a little, pleased that there was no argument but bemused by the fact Clarke just had to get in something about her injury. The Commander though knew where Clarke had been earlier and she was interested to know what had happened. "How was your visit to Raven?" she asked, and she noticed Clarke's expression change quickly from surprise to sadness and back to surprise again. Clarke looked at her seriously for a moment before she pulled her eyes away again and glanced at the floor. It was how Lexa knew she wasn't about to get the whole truth.

"Fine," Clarke breathed with a shrug, an outright lie she knew Lexa would see right through. She brought her hand up to the side of her neck and pressed the heel of her palm against it roughly.

Lexa's one eyebrow flicked up in response before it relaxed again. She simply waited patiently for Clarke to correct herself.

Clarke sighed loudly and began a slow and deliberate pace at the foot of Lexa's bed. Her eyes focused on something imaginary a few feet from the toe of her boots. "She's stubborn," Clarke started, not really knowing how to sum it all up.

That didn't surprise Lexa; the vast majority of Sky People she'd had any contact with were all stubborn. Clarke especially. She didn't think it fitting however to voice that particular observation at this time and so she remained silent.

"We did make a little progress, though," Clarke carried on, which was truthful enough. That had happened, after Clarke mentioned what her mother told her about Raven's health which, and rightly so, Raven had a severe issue with.

 

_"She told you what?!" Raven exclaimed, forcing herself up from her work station with her weight firmly planted on her palms against her bench._

_"It's kind of obvious, Raven," Clarke threw back. "I can see for myself that you're not sleeping. Our friends told me that you don't eat properly, that you drink and you work too hard for too long-"_

_"-Well is it any wonder I can't sleep?" Raven fumed, the red rings of exhaustion around her eyes getting heavier by the second. "The pain keeps me up, Clarke, and when I do sleep the memories wake me up." She flopped herself back down on her stool, caught between feeling beaten and not wanting to give in. She picked up the battery that was in front of her and turned it in her hands. "Or nightmares," she conceded, and then she shot Clarke a glance. "It was Octavia wasn't it, who told you?"_

_Clarke nodded, risking a step closer to Raven's bench. "And some others. They're all worried about you."_

_"Yeah," Raven snorted as she closed her eyes for a moment, her forehead pushing into the palm of her hand as she leaned her elbow on the bench._

_Clarke felt for her. She knew a lot about being tormented by dreams. "I am too."_

_Raven scoffed. "I bet you are," she grumbled, now resting her jaw on her fist._

_"Raven."_

_Raven ignored her. She was far too bitter and far too upset to even want to hear her. "You know what I don't get?" she asked, not interested in getting any kind of answer. She turned her eyes on Clarke, then. "Why you're not like this. You go out for some space which I respect, because of what happened. Then you go to TonDC to kill Lexa, or something, and now suddenly you're best friends again. I mean, how does that work?"_

_Clarke just shook her head. "We're not best friends."_

_Still Raven wasn't interested. "How can you even look at her," she started with a great deal of dangerous intent, "and not want to kill her?"_

_Clarke felt bad. She did. It was just the way she was. A part of her didn't want to put up with this because it wasn't her fault, none of it but a much larger part of her wanted Raven to be okay. It needed Raven to understand so therefore, she would put up with it in the vein hope she could make Raven understand. Clarke swallowed, and tried to explain her position once more. "Everything that happened, wasn't because of Lexa."_

_Another scoff, and then the incredulity leaked from her tone. "It wasn't?"_

_Clarke shook her head. "You're looking for someone to blame and Lexa's an easy target."_

_Raven raised an eyebrow. "What because she left us all to die?"_

_Clarke sighed, absolutely certain she wasn't going to get anywhere with this. "What happened, happened. None of us can change that."_

_"Finn was-"_

_"-Finn brought it on himself," Clarke interrupted, a lot more harshly than she intended. "Surely you see that? He massac-"_

_"-I know what he did." Raven answered in a low voice. She knew all too well and she also knew the Finn that killed those people, wasn't the Finn she spent all those years getting to know. He had changed, she knew that, and that was the saddest part. "Doesn't mean he deserved to die."_

_Clarke thought that too, if she was honest, but she also knew how the grounders punished such crimes. If Finn had gone on a murder spree on the Ark then he would've met the same fate, once he turned eighteen. It wasn't much different. "It's the way they do things," Clarke said softly, and Raven just shook her head. Clarke tried something else. "You saw what Lexa did to her own general in TonDC. It wasn't her choice, she didn't want to but it's the way they live and we live on their land now."_

_It didn't particularly have the desired effect. "So, what?" Raven frowned, "Lexa rules us now, too? We have to live the way they do?"_

_Clarke sighed. "No. We have to work together. How else do you expect us to survive?"_

_Raven remained quiet, not really having an answer for that._

_Clarke saw an opening and she gladly took it. "Look this isn't the way I would've liked it to happen but there is a genuine threat out there. All I'm doing is finding out what's going on. That's all."_

_Raven looked at her, then, her eyes examining. Questioning. "So you're not on her side? You're not trusting her again?" her voice was a little softer, too._

_Clarke took a second or so to answer. "I'm doing what I need to in order to keep us alive," she replied firmly. Not exactly the complete truth but it was close enough. Clarke swallowed the lump in her throat._

_Raven forced out a breath and regarded her with a smirk, however sardonic it was. "So when she fuck's us over again I can say I told you so?"_

_Clarke tried to read into what Raven was giving her but she couldn't quite tell. It took her a moment to think what to say and in the end she simply shrugged. "If that's what you need to do."_

_Raven's lips fell into a very tight smile and then she shook her head before she went back to her battery._

_Clarke tried again. "Lexa isn't going to fuck us over though." At least she hoped she wouldn't but she couldn't very well say that. She just pinned Raven in her gaze and tried to get her to believe her._

_After a moment or so of battery fiddling Raven pushed in down onto the surface of her bench. "Look, Clarke," she sighed, her demeanour softening, just a little. "I don't blame you, okay?" she actually smiled as she said it. "I don't hate you; I'm not against you-"_

_Clarke was taken aback. She raised her brow. "-Really?"_

_Raven turned to her. "I'm against her," she said, exaggerating the 'her' for all she was worth. "I don't trust her, and neither should you. I don't know what happened while you were in TonDC, what she said to you, but do me a favour?"_

_Clarke was still stuck in her surprise but she managed to nod her head._

_"Next time it comes to the crucial moment make sure you have a backup plan. Think about the time she walked away from you, away from all of us. Think about her leaving you for dead. Remember how much she cared about us then, because however much it was, it wasn't enough." Her words were genuine and heartfelt, as if she believed them to be the iron clad truth. "You can rely on yourself, and us. Your own people, we're here," and she was almost pleading, really hoping that Clarke would see her point. She did feel a little guilty, though, because she was aware how they had all treated Clarke at various times since landing on the ground. "I know most of us have been asses to you at some point, put everything on your shoulders but we would never abandon you." She held Clarke's gaze and made sure she felt the weight of her words. "Just remember that, please. Don't let her lead you into another inescapable situation. Don't let her lead you to your death."_

_Clarke nodded. Happy beyond belief that Raven didn't hate her, nor did she blame her. She needed her friend back and she felt like she was getting there, but she also felt the enormity of what Raven just said. Everything was as valid as it was just but she couldn't believe Lexa would betray her again. She wouldn't, but she also wouldn't leave herself open to history repeating itself because that would be foolish, right? So she shook her head as she replied, "I won't," and she meant it._

_The response made Raven smile and Clarke knew it was a genuine one so she smiled in return, too. "That's all I ask," Raven said, and then she reached out for Clarke's forearm and clasped her fingers around it. "And don't be so much of a stranger! I missed you, Griffin."_

_It was light, all of a sudden and both of them actually laughed for a moment. It was practically foreign. "I missed you too."_

 

"She is supportive of you now?" Lexa asked, bringing Clarke back to the present.

Clarke had to clear her throat, a little, thinking over it all made her chest rather tight. "Yeah," and then she revised. "Well I think so," and then she shrugged. "I guess we'll see."

Lea considered that. "But you have... made up?"

Clarke nodded, and offered the Commander a sad smile. "Yeah."

Lexa smiled too. "I am glad."

It's not like Clarke didn't want to tell Lexa everything. She did, it was her first impulse to be honest but she didn't. Lexa had to assume her people didn't trust her, and it would serve no one to push that fact in her face. Raven was her friend again and that was news enough. Eventually, when Lexa earned it, they would all trust her again too. Well, it wasn't like any of them really trusted her to begin with; they worked with her because they had to and now they were in that situation again. Clarke just had to keep it all in perspective, that's all. Like Raven said. It would be sensible to be cautious, right?

Right.

Clarke shifted a little where she stood, suddenly becoming aware of herself and feeling awkward for it.

Lexa knew. It was obvious enough; Clarke was struggling with something and she wasn't about to share it. Lexa just took in an even breath and pushed it out calmly. She observed Clarke's appearance for a moment, the way she stood, the way her middle and index fingers ran along the inside of her thumb on either hand. The way she bit on her bottom lip and simply wouldn't meet her gaze. Lexa wanted to ask, but knew it wasn't her place to.

Business she thought. A change of subject was needed but it didn't stop the clenching in her chest at what Clarke could possibly be thinking. "Tomorrow," the Commander began and that's when Clarke looked at her properly. "We will go-"

"-Lexa," Clarke sighed, looking as if she were about to reprimand her.

It made Lexa smile, at least Clarke still cared about her well-being, and that she would take. She lifted her chin and injected as much levity into her next sentence as she could. "You underestimate me."

Clarke could see the Commander was teasing and instantly she felt a bit brighter. She rolled her eyes. "It's got nothing to do with estimations," she said with a smile, wondering how she could phrase what she meant. "You're not Superwoman."

Lexa quirked her brow in confusion and it made Clarke sigh. She put her hands on her hips and as she stared at her, the Commander sat up and swivelled her legs around in a smooth motion so they were hanging off the side of the bed.

Clarke widened her eyes at what she knew Lexa was about to do and took a hasty step around the side of the bed. The Commander held her hand up though, stopping Clarke mid-step.

"Lexa..." Clarke breathed as she stood there poised, her hands sort of frozen apprehensively in mid air.

Lexa just grinned and then she stood, pain erupting down her leg but nothing she couldn't handle. She turned to Clarke and was both amused and warmed by the amount of concern clearly on her face. She then took a step, the pain making her wince just a bit but then she moved passed it. She took another step and then Clarke was at her side in an instant, hovering next to her with her hands still out in case Lexa should fall. She didn't, and when she made it to the other side of the room Lexa stopped and looked at Clarke this time with a clear look of amusement on her face.

Clarke was shocked and her mouth hung open with it. After a few moments that felt like an age she shrugged and tilted her head completely impressed. "Okay, maybe you are Superwoman."

Lexa lifted her brow. "You are surprised."

Clarke just didn't have words. She didn't think astonishing quite covered it but she was certainly in utter disbelief. She blinked a couple times, licked her lips and tried to formulate a response but nothing came.

Lexa was still smiling even though she was in a lot of pain. She knew it would pass though, so she wasn't worried. She had felt much more pain than this at various points in her life. "You do underestimate me."

Clarke looked down at Lexa's thigh quizzically. "You heal fast. My mom's going to think you're an alien."

"Are you not the one that fell from the sky, Clarke?" she asked, smirking broadly. She did enjoy teasing Clarke and she decided there and then it was one of her favourite things. "So it would be you who is the alien."

Clarke glared at her from beneath her lowered brow. "Oh ha ha."

Lexa exhaled as she looked up to the ceiling for a moment. Her leg was beginning to throb even though she was leaning most of her weight on her other one and so she sighed, still smiling though from their conversation. Clarke seemed to pick up on her discomfort and dropped her hands to Lexa's waist, still not convinced she wouldn't keel over at any second and the Commander automatically rested her hand on Clarke's shoulder, letting her bear some of her weight.

"Perhaps it is a trait of Skaikru healers to think the Commander less than she is," Lexa continued, still teasing.

Clarke grinned again and it made Lexa forget about some of the pain, for a moment and then Clarke started to walk her back over to the bed. "We don't think you less than anything, trust me," she responded. "You're just as intimidating from this bed as you are on your throne."

Lexa tilted her head as she considered it. "I suppose that is, mildly comforting," she conceded as they got to the bed and she immediately sat on it, grateful for the support even though she would never let on. She let her legs dangle over the side and carried on talking before Clarke could respond. "So your people. They are with us?"

"Of course." Clarke said quickly, keeping her eyes fixed on Lexa's wound.

Lexa let out a long breath. "They need to be, Clarke. When we march into Polis-"

"-You have Wanheda," Clarke interrupted, perhaps a little too quickly. "That should be enough," she muttered.

Lexa's gaze didn't leave Clarke, even as Clarke's attention darted around the room. "There is nothing to stop Azgeda coming here when we leave, Clarke. If the Ice Queen has your people, does she not also have you?"

Clarke sighed and for half a second, she wished she had stayed in the forest, hidden in some cave and buried under furs so these problems wouldn't be hers. "My people aren't going to make a deal with Azgeda while I'm with you in Polis. They might not trust you, Lexa, but they wouldn't put me in that position."

Lexa tried to read the look in Clarke's eyes and if anything, Clarke seemed sure about what she was saying. "You are certain?"

"Yes," Clarke said, because she absolutely was. She thought about it, though, what would happen if Azgeda did send warriors into Camp Jaha? What then? "But maybe we could leave them some protection. If they're infiltrated and forced then..." she trailed off.

Lexa nodded. "Indra will stay with my army. Your people will be protected."

Clarke was relieved, at that. "Thank you," she said, and then she thought over her experiences with Indra. Clarke scrunched up her brow, a bit. "Indra, though?"

Lexa was amused, again. "Indra will do as I say. Do not worry about that."

Clarke just nodded and held her tongue. She was grateful, after all, that Lexa would be willing to spare warriors to protect her people.

Lexa then interrupted her pondering. "Clarke, our people will need to work together. You must ensure your people know my army is here for their own good. There cannot be an incident after we have left."

Clarke could see her point and so she nodded firmly. "I know," she agreed. "I'll get Kane to meet with Indra then he can address everyone here."

Lexa levelled out her chin. "Your mother?" she inquired, with a twitch of her brow.

Clarke smirked. "I'll talk to my mother." That seemed to appease the Commander, somewhat. "And Bellamy while I'm at it," Clarke considered, and then she thought about it some more. "I'll speak with them all."

"Good," Lexa smiled fondly, without even knowing it. "Then tomorrow we leave for Polis."

Clarke nodded as she sucked in a deep breath. She was standing a foot or so from Lexa and she realised for the first time since entering the room that they were completely alone. She glanced around just to make sure and then her gaze fell back on Lexa. "Where are your guards?" she asked, her voice becoming quieter for absolutely no reason.

"Eating," the Commander responded just as softly. She dipped her head a little as she expanded on her reasoning, not really too sure why she felt the need to give it. "There was opportunity for them to do so when Indra arrived so I granted them leave."

Clarke nodded. "And what about when Indra left?"

Lexa relaxed her expression as she relaxed her shoulders but not so much that she would be slouching. She became a little bashful, if Commander's could become such a thing. "There are two guards outside, Clarke, and also Zeek when you returned," she met Clarke's eyes, then. "I feel safe enough."

Clarke chewed a little on her top lip before she realised the real reason; of course the Commander wouldn't try walking with prying eyes there to see her stumble, if in fact she should. Clarke paused as the thought sank in and then she felt a familiar spark inside ignite and warm her chest because the Commander was perfectly fine with Clarke there, perhaps to watch her fall and then she felt her body tingle, especially when Lexa shyly averted her gaze.

It was adorable.

Clarke found the Commander adorable and then she was struck by how problematic that was. At how problematic the prospect of them could be. She focused back on Lexa's face and the only thing she could see were her lips, the way they were parted slightly and the subtle rise and fall of the Commander's chest. All she could think about was the way her lips felt when they kissed, twice now, and where it would've gone if Dax hadn't interrupted...

Clarke shook her head and took a decisive step back. She coughed and was certain her cheeks had flushed red and then Lexa's eyes looked exactly like she had been considering the same things, if her pupils were anything to go by.

Maybe they needed to clear things up. They were going to plan a war, for God's sake, sometime soon. Relations between their people were tenuous at best and...I don't trust her, and neither should you, Raven's words suddenly and inappropriately invaded her mind.

Clarke swallowed nervously, and fidgeted where she stood. She tried not to meet Lexa's gaze because she was all too aware what those green eyes could do to her and she really couldn't be thinking about how conflicted she felt. It wouldn't be easy, the two of them, and then she furrowed her brow. It would be stupid. Yes. Very stupid. Think about her leaving you for dead...

Yes they needed to clear things up.

When Clarke spoke though her voice betrayed her. There was enough gravel in her tone to cut glass. "What happened in TonDC," she managed to force out. "Before Dax interrupted us, in your tent..." she trailed off as she tried to ignore the sudden pounding against her ribs.

Lexa froze, that being the absolute last thing she was expecting. Instantly she was worried for what Clarke was going to say and so she forced herself to take a deep breath and then for some reason, she sat up a little straighter, the fingers of her right hand tightening around her left as they became rigid in her lap. "Yes?" she replied, her mind not clear enough to not think back to that exact moment in time. She went a little fuzzy with it and then she attempted to appear as if Clarke saying she didn't mean it or that she regretted it wouldn't in fact crush her whole.

Clarke looked at the floor. Confusion washing over her. Or more like indecision. She was all too quickly at a loss for what to say and so she went for the easy option. She chanced a glance at Lexa and felt something inside her chest abruptly lurch to the side. "Perhaps, now isn't the best time. What with Azgeda, and everything."

Lexa's heart stopped. Well, that's what it felt like. Azgeda, again, the reason for taking her love away but then she berated herself for being so.. weak. She felt herself harden in retaliation but then she forced herself to relax, a bit, but she knew she wouldn't be able to hide the heartbreak she was certain shone in her eyes.

Clarke regretted bringing this up at all. It wasn't the right time and the thoughts flying through her head weren't even hers. They were Raven's, they were her mothers. They were what everybody else would think and how that it probably wasn't the best idea but her heart wanted it; her heart wanted her. Her heart wanted to ignore her head and Clarke had always been more of a heart person. She wondered if Lexa wasn't perhaps more of a heart person now too, and if that's the reason she looked so, hurt. "It's just... I..."

"Clarke," Lexa sighed softly, her voice a little shaky and scratchy like she feared it might be. She had a feeling this impromptu conversation had more to do with Clarke's friends, or perhaps still what happened at Mount Weather rather than any impending war that may or may not happen. It wasn't really for her to question, though, she realised all too sadly. All she could do was be there, and hope that Clarke would one day let this thing between them happen.

Lexa reached out to Clarke who stepped forward automatically, and they both looked down as Lexa hooked her fingers around the side of Clarke's hand, Clarke folding them up in her palm without a second thought.

"I know," Lexa whispered, her voice barely above a murmur and she tugged on Clarke's hand a little to pull her closer. She licked her lips gently. "Perhaps one day, you will trust me, and think of me differently."

That hurt Clarke, because she did already think of Lexa differently. A lot differently to only a few weeks ago. She knew Lexa was a whole lot more than what she let people see, and she was thankful that Lexa trusted her enough to show her these hidden aspects of herself. She wanted to say this, she wanted to say that she did trust her, but it was still hard. There was a whole lot more to it that just what Clarke wanted to do.

Lexa wanted to say how much she wanted her. How much she was falling in love with her but it wasn't the time, nor would it be fair. So Lexa just closed her eyes and swallowed, leaning in a little so there was hardly any space between them. Her voice was quiet, and Clarke could hear the steady, comforting sounds as the Commander breathed. "Until that day I am prepared to wait."

Clarke exhaled. It was Raven's words she was hearing. Bellamy's too, and her mothers. Stuck on repeat in her mind and she squeezed her eyes shut as she forced all of their voices out of her head. She didn't want to hear them.

It was still right, though. It wasn't the time, nor was it the place. Would it be right to start something when her people didn't trust Lexa, regardless of whether she did or not? When there was a war coming? When the last time Lexa was in a war with the Ice Nation their queen kidnapped her lover and killed her? Clarke felt like she was a mess of emotion and whether it was the right thing to do or not she stepped between the Commander's legs and rested their foreheads together, immediately dropping her free hand to Lexa's hip and holding on for dear life.

Clarke breathed heavily and pressed her eyes closed. Right then she didn't care about clear. Right then all she wanted was for Lexa to kiss her again. "Fuck it," Clarke whispered, loud enough for no one to hear. If she were to die in this war she considered, then why shouldn't she have this while she still could?

Clarke tilted her head a little and pushed forward, capturing Lexa's lips and they tasted just as good as they did the first two times, the Commander only hesitating for a moment before she kissed her back. Clarke melted her body into Lexa's and pulled her hand out of her grip so she could wrap her arms around her shoulders, pulling and holding her close. Lexa's lips provided a peace she had absolutely no chance of finding anywhere else and her touch was like magic, her tongue like fire. Lighting up parts of her that would otherwise remain in darkness.

Clarke craved her, and she wanted her and so she kissed her again. Long and hard and like it wouldn't cause a war in and of itself. Clarke just didn't care. She would deal with outside the room as soon as she stepped out there, and she didn't intend for that to be for a good while yet.

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
>  Translations.  
>  **
> 
>  
> 
>  **"Sha, Heda."**  
>  "Yes, Commander."
> 
>  **"Moba, Heda. Em nou set raun."**  
>  "Sorry, Commander. She would not wait."
> 
>  **"Em ait."**  
>  "It's okay."
> 
>  **"-Pleni! Ai na gon we nodotaim. Trigeda-de nou chek ai bilaik disha au. Ai nou laik kwelen taim ai bants hir."**  
>  "-Enough! I will leave soon enough. My people will not see me like this. I will not be weak when I leave here."
> 
>  **"Yu get daun bilaik ain get daun."**  
>  "Your concern is my concern."
> 
>  **"-Nowe! Heda disha leyos."**  
>  "-No way! Commander this is a joke."
> 
>  **"Disha branwoda yu kom mou ifi au mou taim yu set daun hir. Azgeda strat zog raun en Polis gaf yu in. Mou taim yu set raun kwelen yu kom au!"**  
>  "This is foolish you become more at risk the longer you remain here. The Ice Nation are planning an offensive and Polis needs you. The longer you wait the weaker you become!"
> 
>  **"Get yu rein in. Won sintaim den osir bants. Sis gonakru op en lufa trimani au. Ai dula nou gaf mafta op."**  
>  "Know your place. A day, and then we leave. Take a group of warriors and search the area. I do not want to be followed."


	12. twel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa arrive in Polis and Clarke is amazed at what she see's. Clarke meets Pius as well as some other residents of Polis and experiences the Tower for the first time. There are a lot of Clexa moments, Luna makes an appearance, the plot thickens with Azgeda and Lexa opens up a little to Clarke about her people and Polis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter a little quicker than usual :) Hope you guys like it, let me know your feedback if you can :)
> 
> Find me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/talentedgemx) or [tumblr](http://talentedgemx.tumblr.com/)!

When they arrived in Polis Lexa felt exhausted. The ride was long and two thirds into the journey Lexa lost the ability to ignore the pain in her leg. She hid it well, though, her expressionless mask slipping into place as they cut through the forest at speed. It was only when they slowed that she suspected Clarke could tell but Lexa managed to avoid her gaze, speaking only with Zeek when she had to and the rest of the time she spent leading the group through the uneven, winding terrain that lead to the Capital.

 

This route wasn't the most popular one into Polis, it was the least travelled because of the terrain but it was preferable as the landscape provided hardly any vantage points for someone to mount an attack. This particular area of Lexa's land was rather unforgiving, and that was exactly why she chose it. The guard towers would also be able to see them coming from quite a distance which was another reason why enemies never used it.

 

The gates opened to little fanfare and Lexa was inexplicably relieved to be able to dismount from her horse. She patted Comet on his neck and hoped that for her next journey, which she assumed would be soon, her warhorse Balius would be back in action. Comet was a fine substitute but Lexa appreciated how little she needed to direct Balius and how he somehow knew when she was injured and would alter his movements accordingly. Lexa actually liked him a lot more than she liked most people and she raised an eyebrow at the realisation.

 

In that moment all Lexa wanted to do was to lean down and massage her thigh but she resisted, the residents in her near vicinity quick to take notice of her presence and turn so they could welcome her home.

 

The Commander held herself tall as a crowd began to form, the excitement in the air to see her punctured rather quite solemnly with the knowledge of why she was there. This was her home, of course, but the locals knew all too well that most of the clan leaders were also in Polis and the stirrings of Azgeda hung heavily over them all. The sight of the Commander though, if only for a moment seemed to provide a measure of relief and struck genuine joy into the faces of her people.

 

Clarke and the rest of the party dismounted their horses shortly after Lexa, handing them off to whom Clarke could only assume were stable hands that appeared suddenly at Lexa's side.

 

"Mochof," Lexa smiled down at the young boy, who simply bowed his head and lead Comet away.

 

The gates behind them closed and a huge, hulking man with dark war paint adorning his face in what resembled three vertical scratch marks from his forehead to his chin stepped forward, with two further men with similar paint standing behind him. Each of them had a sword strapped to their hip and all three looked like they had seen a battle or two.

 

"Heda," the first man said, his head bowing slightly before he reached out and then Lexa grabbed his arm.

 

"Abel," Lexa responded, a tiny smile tugging on the ends of her lips.

 

"Mounin hou."

 

"Thank you," she replied in gonasleng, letting go of his arm and then she lifted her chin, her expression steeling over once more.

 

Abel seemed to take his cue. "I wish it was under better circumstances."

 

Lexa nodded; returning home to prepare for war wasn't her idea of a happy scenario either, but being in Polis just reminded her of everything she had achieved and everything she would fight to the death to protect. She clenched her jaw. "Where is Dax?"

 

"On his way. When I saw you I sent a messenger to summon him."

 

Lexa was glad of that. As much as she wanted to play tour guide for Clarke she knew she could not. Such pleasantries would have to wait for another day as she would need to talk to her general and Pius before summoning a meeting of the clan leaders. Clarke's presence would be needed throughout and so then she turned to Clarke and the rest of the travelling party. "Welcome to Polis," she said evenly. "This is Abel; he is in command of the Polis guard." She fixed her accompanying party with a firm glare. "He will hold your weapons until you leave."

 

Initially Clarke was the only member of Skaikru going to Polis with Lexa but then it was decided, by whom Clarke told her was probably her mother, she should be escorted. Kane didn't need convincing, he was intrigued to see the Capital and learn how it ran and how the grounders at large lived. He was keen to make a good impression and integrate with Lexa's society as much as possible. He wanted peace and was the most diplomatic so he practically volunteered. Bellamy on the other hand couldn't be dissuaded, especially when Octavia offered to go as well. Lincoln stayed behind seeing as he wasn't held in the best regard by his own people.

 

Bellamy frowned at Lexa. "You want us to give up our weapons?"

 

Lexa regarded him evenly. "Yes. It is only the Guard who are armed in Polis."

 

"And what if we don't trust the Guard?

 

Kane quickly reached out a hand and grabbed Bellamy's arm, pulling him back just a little. "Easy," he said to him under his breath.

 

Lexa held her frame higher and rolled her shoulders back, tilting her head a bit to the side. "You wished to come. You will obey the laws of the Capital or you will leave." Zeek steeped to Lexa's side and took up more of a protective stance.

 

Bellamy looked like he was going to take offense before Kane stepped forward and un-strapped his gun from his shoulder. He held it up. "No, Commander," he said quickly, trying to diffuse the situation. "It's fine." He held the gun out to Abel. "We can obey your laws." He looked over his shoulder and nodded to Bellamy and Octavia to relinquish their weapons as well.

 

Octavia obliged without much fuss but it took a couple of moments before Bellamy handed over his. Abel stopped before Clarke and looked at her expectantly. She sized him up for a moment before she handed over her gun with a tight-lipped smile.

 

"Abel," Lexa began again, taking a step forward. "This is Klark kom Skaikru, legendary Wanheda." Lexa's chest puffed out a bit as she introduced her, raising her voice a little so everyone within earshot would hear and know who Clarke was. "These are her people. They are my guests and are to be protected."

 

Abel held all of their weapons in his mammoth hands before passing them off to his fellow guard. He then gazed over the new people in front of him as if trying to gauge their intentions and how much trouble they might bring. "Sha, Heda," he said after a minute or so, turning back to his Commander.

 

"Good," Lexa responded, and then she took off her own sword and passed it to him, stepping closer so she wouldn't be overheard. "Ai em op. Der belaik loda kru chon na nou gaf em hir in."

 

"Sha, Heda," Abel said again.

 

"Zeek shil Klark op. Yu get daun kom moun."

 

Abel bowed his head and then walked away swiftly, just as Dax approached from the crowd that had mostly dispersed save for those who were either standing in awe or in fear of the much rumoured about Wanheda.

 

"Heda," Dax gasped, having hurried from the tower to get to her. "Welcome," he greeted as he bowed his head, too. Lexa simply nodded before he looked at Clarke and then the others in turn. His expression remained passive but his gaze lingered a little longer than necessary on Clarke. "Welcome Skaikru," he said, and then he looked back at his Commander.

 

"Where is Pius?" Lexa asked eager to get caught up with what was going on.

 

"The Tower," Dax responded, and then Lexa turned to her guests.

 

"You are free to explore Polis as you wish," she began, eying each of them carefully, noting the guards that had gathered a distance behind them, undoubtedly ordered to do so by Abel. It pleased her. "The city is large and filled with my people from all twelve clans. You will learn much," and then she paused for a moment. "I require Clarke's company for the time being but come to the tower before sunset and you may join us for dinner."

 

Bellamy stepped forward, immediately agitated. "She goes nowhere alone."

 

"Bellamy," Clarke sighed as she tried to silence him.

 

Lexa looked at him squarely. "She will not be alone. If you are concerned for Clarke's safety don't be. Polis is safe and the tower is heavily guarded."

 

Kane didn't look too sure either put Clarke held up a hand to them. "Really, it's fine. This is what I'm here for. I'll meet up with you guys later."

 

Bellamy clenched his jaw and looked at her intently. He didn't like it, but he supposed there wasn't much he could do about it especially now he didn't have his gun. "Are you sure?"

 

Clarke stepped closer to him and lowered her voice. "I've spent enough time with the grounders okay? I'm not worried, and neither should you be."

 

Bellamy still wasn't convinced but Kane gestured him back, again. "Come on," he said warily, "Clarke knows what she's doing."

 

Clarke nodded and Bellamy conceded, shaking his head as he walked over to his sister. Kane looked at Clarke. "Be careful."

 

"I will," she replied, even though she knew this was probably the safest she had been since stepping foot on the ground.

 

**

 

The walk through Polis, Clarke was realising, was wondrous. There was simply no other way to describe it.

 

Lexa was taking her the most direct route but even so, what she saw was amazing. Street vendors, shopkeepers, tradesmen... just ordinary people as they wondered through the streets talking and laughing with each other. People as they bartered with vendors, some arguing, some not. It was like something out of any number of books Clarke had read up on the Ark but better. So much better as is was in front of her. Loud and vivid and full of colour. There was food being cooked in the open streets too and all of it smelled amazing. She wanted to see it up close and sample all of it.

 

"Clarke," she heard a voice say and it pulled her away from her dreaming. She turned her head and found Lexa walking at her side. "You are okay?"

 

"Yeah," Clarke breathed, shaking her head as she tried to separate where she was from what she had read. She never thought she'd experience something like this. Not when she read about towns and cities back on the Ark and even once she had stepped foot on land. It just seemed surreal, to her.

 

The Commander's lips were hiding a small smile and she knew the answer to her next question before she even asked it. "You are impressed with Polis?"

 

Clarke grinned, not really too sure how to answer that. She felt dumbstruck and she swallowed heavily to try and clear it. It took her a few moments to answer. "I think that's a bit of an understatement."

 

Lexa was happy, then, and she puffed out her chest with the pride she felt. It was silly, really, the pleasure she found in invoking such feelings within Clarke but she couldn't help it, and besides it made her feel good so she took it. Lexa hadn't built Polis, of course, the Capital had been around since the beginning but she had united the clans. She had given her people uninterrupted peace and by extension, Polis had enjoyed the same peace too. It was now a place for her people to come together and enjoy the cultures of all of her clans, something no other Commander had ever achieved.

 

Clarke looked around again. "I really had no idea," she continued, her lips still grinning. A look of happiness in her eyes that Lexa never wanted to see leave. "It's amazing."

 

Lexa had to work to keep her expression mostly concealed; they did have something of an audience after all so she clasped her hands behind her back. "I wish I could show you it properly," she said quietly, conscious not to let her words carry on the wind and then her eyes fell to the ground before she looked at Clarke again. "Later, we will find time," her voice lowering again in regret, "but now-"

 

"-I know," Clarke cut her off, a look in her eyes like she completely understood. Her brow furrowed, just a little. "Business first." Pleasure later she wanted to say but thankfully was able to stop herself, the thought still making her pause however and the quick smile Lexa gave her in reply made her swallow reflexively.

 

Before her mind could wander too far they abruptly turned a corner and Clarke's pace swiftly slowed, her jaw dropping open as she took in the sight before her. "Oh my God," she gasped, and then she stopped dead in the street. "Is that real?"

Lexa though hadn't stopped moving and so she turned when she realised Clarke had. She quirked a brow at Clarke's expression and then turned again to see what she was looking at. "Of course," she replied after a moment, fairly confused to Clarke's reaction to her tower. "It is my home."

 

Clarke just stared even harder and then she pointed, rather blatantly, at the God knows how tall it was tower that soared up from the ground and practically touched the sky. It was still a distance from where they were standing but it was still monumentally overwhelming.

 

Lexa looked back at Clarke somewhat amused and then she returned to her side, her right hand cupping Clarke's left elbow gently and urging her forwards into a walk again. "Come," she said as the guards behind them who had lingered started up their slow pace once again, Dax and Zeek who were ahead resuming their lead. "That is our destination."

 

Clarke was still shocked. "You live there?" she asked, as if she didn't believe her at all.

 

Lexa licked her lips. "Yes," she responded, still amused. "It is the centre of Polis, the home of the Commander and where I rule over my land." She glanced at Clarke who was still staring wide eyed at the tower and didn't look like she would say anything anytime soon so, Lexa decided to press on. "It is where we shall meet with the clan leaders later and where you and your people will stay while you are in Polis."

 

They were getting closer now; the tower just getting bigger and bigger with every step Clarke took. She had no idea how it remained standing, if she was honest, with every other building around it not even a fraction of its size. She looked at Lexa. "I'm going to stay in there?"

 

Lexa imagined if she could go on surprising Clarke like this and earn such an adorable expression from her on a regular basis, then that would make her happy. "Do not worry," she said, again attempting to suppress her smile. "I assure you it will not fall down."

 

Clarke looked away as it seemed Lexa could read her mind, in that moment. "That's not it," she replied quickly, but not really sure where she was going with it. "I mean it's just..." she trailed off, trying to think of something to say. "...I've never seen anything like it." Then she thought of something better. "Thank you for letting us stay with you."

 

There was absolutely nowhere else Lexa wanted Clarke to be. As they got closer and the crowd thickened toward the base of the tower, Lexa released Clarke's elbow a put another foot of distance between them. "You are welcome," she responded, her tone and expression notably levelling out. "The tower is where all visiting leaders and their guests stay," and her hands clasped behind her back again.

 

Dax and Zeek had paused at the entrance to the tower and were glancing out at the people going about their daily business. Many had stopped to gaze at their Heda as she passed and Lexa was preoccupied with ensuring she nodded to as many of them as she could as she passed.

 

"There are many rooms," the Commander continued, smiling in that tight-lipped way at her people as they called out their welcome to her. "I think you will like it inside."

 

Their pace had slowed considerably as they entered the building. "I'm sure I will," Clarke replied and then a worrying thought struck her. "Wait, you better not be leading me to a gigantic ladder..."

 

Lexa actually scoffed, at that.

 

**

 

Clarke really wasn't impressed by the rickety pulley system thing they had in place in lieu of a lift. It was, for want of a better phrase, rickety as hell. When they reached the right floor and stepped off all Lexa could do was throw her a tight amused smile.

"You will get used to it," the Commander whispered to her before she strode off down the hall, Clarke falling behind a little with Dax and Zeek behind her.

 

Clarke was getting more and more impressed with every step she took, ever since her first one inside of Polis. This building however, The Tower, was what she imagined a cross between a castle and a palace would be. It was grand; absolutely everything about it and it was a far cry from what the Commander had surrounded herself with in TonDC. This was just, something else altogether. She followed Lexa through the double doors at the end of the hall which were held open by two imposing looking guards, each with a spear in their other hand. There wasn't any time for Clarke to take much notice of them as she moved into what was obviously Lexa's throne room.

 

Again, it took Clarke's breath away. It was only starting to hit her, really, the significance of the position Lexa held. The level of responsibility, if this really was all hers. The Tower, the City, the Clans. Clarke had lead one-hundred of her peers to begin with, by default, a number that steadily declined over time and now she felt like she was responsible for her people again, a few hundred Sky People at the most and as she focused her attention on Lexa, as the Commander assumed her full height and presence as she ascended the stairs and turned so she stood authoritatively in front of her throne it dawned on Clarke, as she gazed up at her, that Lexa really did carry such a heavy weight of responsibility that she had absolutely no comprehension of.

 

"Hod hir op," Clarke heard Dax say, turning to glance over her shoulder as she saw the doors close with Zeek left standing on the other side. Dax walked around Clarke as she stood rather aimlessly in the middle of the room and as he approached Lexa, stopping just short of the steps that lead to her elevated throne Lexa lowered herself onto it, a faint look of relief washing through her expression at taking the weight off her feet.

 

Lexa's palm was finally able to find her thigh and she rubbed at it gently, taking in a few breaths as she did.

 

"Heda."

 

All three of them turned to the corner of the room where the voice came from and a man emerged with dark, tanned skin, deep brown eyes and a ragged, aged face. He was wearing a long robe that stretched from his shoulders and down to the floor which he seemed to glide along, his expression filled with concern and as he came to a halt a few paces to the side of Dax, his attention dropped to Lexa's thigh.

 

"Pius," Lexa returned, not bothering to get up now she was finally sat down on something more comfortable than a horse.

 

Whatever worry Pius was wearing he managed to rein in with the strength of Lexa's look. The man straightened, and clasped his hands behind his back. Clarke was beginning to think this was another grounder thing to go along with the chest puffing and the jaw raise.

 

"Mounin hou," Pius responded with a nod of his head. "Ha yu ledon?" He followed after a moment, having to ask. With all the other concerns flying around he needed his Heda to be strong and well.

 

Lexa regarded him evenly, as Clarke had seen her do countless times before with her subjects. "My leg is fine, Pius. I am perfectly well," she replied, in short, clipped English, as if proving a point. She then gestured to Clarke. "I would like you to meet Klark kom Skaikru." Pius turned then, his shoulders back and head held high as his eyes travelled the length of Clarke's body and back up again. He wasn't as discreet in masking his expressions as Lexa, and his suspicion shone through obviously. "She joins me here as leader of her people and stands with us against this forthcoming threat."

 

There was silence for a moment, as Pius and Clarke simply stared at each other.

 

"Clarke," Lexa continued. "This is Pius, my closest advisor and elder of Polis. He is held in the highest esteem by all of my people."

 

Pius glanced back at Lexa. "You overstate me, Heda," he said with a slight incline of his head, and then he focused back on Clarke. "It is an honour to finally meet you, Wanheda."

 

Clarke wasn't sure if he meant it, there was distrust in his eyes and he held himself warily but she decided to be pleasant in return. "Clarke, please," she smiled, but as he made no move toward her she didn't offer her hand in greeting. Instead she looked at Lexa who seemed happy enough and so that's where she left it.

 

Pius turned back to his Heda.

 

"So tell me," Lexa announced with a sigh, getting a little more comfortable in her throne. She ached and she was tired. Her thigh was throbbing and she was absolutely famished but she knew this conversation could not wait. "Has there been any change?"

 

Pius sighed and Dax remained quiet, knowing the elder would take the lead with this one. "Sha Heda. Loda. Polis don gaf yu in taim kom gon-"

 

Lexa quickly held up her hand abruptly cutting Pius off. She took in a breath and kept herself calm; she knew Pius would be displeased but it would do them no good to argue over things that couldn't be changed. "I am here now, Pius," she said in a loud, form voice, looking down on him in a domineering manner. "Tell me what I should know and speak in gonasleng. Clarke needs to hear it too."

 

Pius didn't look very happy but he conceded easily, eager to get actions put in place now Lexa had returned. "Our people are anxious. They sense what is happening and the lack of Azgeda in the Capital only reinforces the rumours of Nia's uprising."

 

Lexa leaned her weight on her elbow against the wooden arm of her throne as her thumb stroked idly at her chin. "There is always a lack of Azgeda in Polis." It didn't concern her; Azgeda was the furthest clan away so that was reason in and of itself.

 

"Not like this, Heda," Pius continued on. "The only members of Azgeda currently in Polis are the delegation. The Queen's absence once again is notable signifying her continued disrespect."

 

Lexa clenched her jaw at that, even though it was what she expected. "What is her excuse for not being here?"

 

Pius' eyes narrowed, the contempt for the Ice Nation clear in his tone when he spoke. "Her general, Kristof, says she has matters to attend to within her clan."

 

Lexa's brow raised in indication of her distaste. "Matters more important than the Coalition?"

 

Pius then clenched his jaw, too, his frustration making his eyes dart about the room, a little. He became angry. "I implore you, Heda; now that you are here you must command those loyal to you. Our forces must be combined as much as possible in readiness for her next move. We must be ready."

 

Lexa's eyes flashed dangerously at the emotion Nia's defiance stirred within her. Her breaths became longer as she felt her chest constrict. "I do not fear Azgeda," she growled, her voice low and she said it with such force it echoed around the vast room and then she pushed herself to standing. "She will be foolish to stand against me. Without Wanheda she will not inspire others to follow."

 

Pius wasn't about to let it rest there, however. "We cannot simply put the Coalition in the hands of Wanheda," she practically spat, throwing a hand out in Clarke's direction. "Doing so will invite betrayal-"

 

"-You talk to me about betrayal?" Clarke cut in; not quite believing this man she met only a few seconds ago would say such a thing. She felt the anger shoot up her spine and a number of emotions hit her that she'd tried very hard to forget.

 

"Forgive me, Wanheda," Pius hurried, quick to note the displeasure in Lexa's eyes. "But it is my job to point out every scenario-"

 

"-Clarke is an ally, Pius," Lexa interrupted loudly yet coolly, somehow managing to keep her disappointment at his choice of words in check. "You will do well to remember that."

 

Pius sighed heavily choosing wisely not to press the subject but he remained unconvinced.

 

Lexa's next words were filled with reprehension and Pius seemed to shrink under them. " _My_ Coalition is in _my_ hands and no one else's. Clarke stands with us and we are thankful for that. A little respect, Pius, would be welcome."

 

Pius lowered his head and gazed at Lexa's boots, his voice considerably quieter than before. "I intend only to ensure you consider every option, Heda."

 

"And I shall," Lexa finished, in a tone that ended that particular line of conversation. It made Clarke feel better and she attempted to breathe out her frustrations as Lexa turned to Dax. "What of the clan's, where do they stand?"

 

Dax stood straighter then, eager to get out what he had to say. "Still as expected, Heda," he began. Kasius and Reiki hesitate. Anton rejects every proposal and I believe he along with Zion remain in support of the Ice Queen."

 

Lexa absorbed his words. It was no surprise about Anton and Zion though she had hoped at one point Zion could be brought around but it seemed the time for that had passed. Her attention had been solely taken by Skaikru when they crash landed in Trikru territory and then the war with the Mountain so liaisons with the Delphi Clan had suffered as a result. Anton and the Blue Cliff Clan were beyond hope. He stood firmly with Nia since before the forming of the Coalition and Lexa steadfastly believed Kasius kom Sankru and Reiki kom Podakru would be swayed by Wanheda.

 

The odds were clearly stacked in Lexa's favour and Nia was no fool. She had to be plotting something else. There was no way three clans could best ten.

 

"Kasius and Reiki's generals remain loyal," Dax continued. "They do not hold more favour for the Ice Queen, however, and they believe their leaders are unconvinced of Nia's motives."

 

Clarke was confused. "How do you know this?" she interjected, making Dax turn to her. He responded without pausing.

 

"My position brings me close to the generals of each clan and their warriors. The generals and I interact when in Polis, discuss army matters," he shrugged faintly. "Talk generally of our warriors and the feeling amongst the clans. It was Gustus' position before me and I have maintained the relationships he initiated."

 

"Dax is at the head of the Coalition's combined army," Lexa offered. "In my stead, of course."

 

Clarke nodded, sort of understanding.

 

"I hear things the leaders of the clans do not," Dax went on, and then he turned back to Lexa. "I believe Kasius and Reiki will deflect to you when pushed, Heda. Especially now Wanheda stands with you."

 

It was nothing Lexa didn't already know but she nodded minutely at her general, pleased with his work in her absence. Pius, however, was still looking like he was in turmoil just to her right. She regarded him and was just about to address his demeanour when Dax spoke again.

 

"There is something more pressing though, Heda."

 

Lexa turned to him swiftly with another raise of her eyebrow. Pressing did not equal good, in her book. She looked at him expectantly.

 

"Azgeda have roamed far from their borders. First only scouts and no further than the northern rock line." He glanced at Lexa briefly before he set his shoulders back and planted his heels against the stone of the floor.

 

"And now?" Lexa asked impatiently when Dax was slow in continuing.

 

"Warriors follow them and they are upon the Valley's."

 

Lexa's eyes flashed for a moment and her hands formed loose fists at her sides before her fingers extended out again. They weren't outwardly obvious signs of her distress but to those who knew her, like the three in the room the actions said quite a bit. "How many?"

 

Dax paused, for a moment. "Five groups."

 

Lexa turned and stepped to the side of her throne, looking out through the doors of her balcony. "And what does Azgeda say of this?"

 

Dax scoffed, casting his eyes to Pius before back to his Commander. "Military exercises."

 

Lexa looked over her shoulder at him and her eyes were dark. Her tone low as she felt her hatred for the Ice Queen rising up from the depths at where she usually kept it. It was bitter and ragged and scathing. She clenched her teeth. "As far south as the Valley's?" she turned and pushed out a slow and deliberate breath, scoffing by the end of it. "She wishes to mock me."

 

"She mocks us all, Heda," Pius said as his chest hitched. He felt the rage as much as Lexa did. He felt it for her. "This is a clear move against you; against the Coalition." He stepped forward and gestured at the floor at her feet. "You must act. Call a meeting of the clan leaders and call her out on her intentions. Let them know you will wipe out all those who stand with her."

 

Lexa allowed Pius' rage to wash over her and somehow, it kind of took some of her own with it. Pius was often like this, in the privacy of her counsel he was outspoken on how the clans should behave and fall into line. Outside of these walls he maintained a lofty neutrality, as much as he could around his duty to be loyal to the current Commander.

 

She fixed him with a firm glare. "Calm down, Pius," she instructed. "The clans will know of my intentions as well the Ice Queen," and then she raised a semi-calm brow. "Should she move against me, we shall be ready." It was more to make herself believe it, rather than him. She was very anxious for Nia's next move considering she wouldn't be able to obtain Wanheda. She turned back to Dax. "Is Roks aware Azgeda are upon her land?"

 

"Yes, Heda," Dax replied. "She has dispatched a general to the Shadow Valley however she does not believe Azgeda will mount an attack."

 

"I agree. The Valley's are the most direct route to Polis and Nia would not simply start attacking clans loyal to me. It would be a waste of her resources."

 

"It cannot hurt to be cautious, however," Pius added, "we have no idea what she is planning."

 

Lexa nodded at him and then she regarded Clarke who looked mostly lost at the content of the entire conversation. Lexa knew she would be as she hardly knew anything of the other clans or the history behind them. This whole thing would be pretty much like pushing her in at the deep end but Lexa knew Clarke worked well at the deep end.

 

Lexa raised her chin as Clarke offered her a very tight smile. "I wish to speak with Clarke for a moment," she announced. "Leave us."

 

Dax bowed his head and took a step back to leave however Lexa stopped him.

 

"Dax, ensure the clan leaders know I intend to speak with them all soon, it will not be delayed much longer."

 

"Yes, Heda," he replied, and then he did turn and headed swiftly for the exit.

 

Pius was a little slower in moving and his gaze didn't move from Lexa for a good few moments. Eventually though he lowered his eyes in submission and turned to leave, walking past Clarke without even sparing her a second glance.

 

"Pius," Lexa called out, just as he reached the door. He turned to face her. "Order the guards to remain outside the door."

 

Pius' expression of annoyed indifference remained heavy on his face, his eyes though seeming to scream and if Clarke didn't know better, she was certain she could see a yellow flame burning fiercely within them. His jaw clenched once and whatever he needed to say seemed to be effectively communicated with his menacing glare.

 

Lexa was never alone in a room without a guard or a warrior of some kind, apart from when she slept. He wasn't expressly aware if this was the case when Lexa was away from Polis, but it was certainly protocol that the Commander should never be anywhere without someone trained to protect her. Yes there were plenty of guards outside the room but, that wasn't the point and Klark kom Skaikru hardly qualified as a warrior and if Lexa wanted to be alone with her for reasons that a guard couldn't overhear then, that only meant one thing and Pius doubted it was to discuss military tactics and the Ice Queen. If he hadn't sensed the atmosphere between his Heda and Wanheda before, he was certainly aware of it now.

 

Lexa however would not give in and the way she looked at him said it all so Pius simply nodded his head once and then he left the room.

 

"I don't think he likes me," Clarke said with a small smile as soon as the door swung shut.

 

Lexa sighed as she allowed the pain in her leg to subdue her. She leaned on the arm of her throne and then lowered her weight down onto it. "Pius does not like anyone. Not to begin with."

 

Clarke flashed her eyes and took another quick glance around the room. It was impressive but then she didn't know why she was surprised. Everything about Polis was impressive or at least, the very small amount of it she had seen. She pushed out a quiet breath and strolled toward Lexa, slowly ascending the stairs as she reached them and if it was something she shouldn't do, seeing as how both Dax and Pius hadn't, it didn't even enter her head and it wasn't like Lexa stopped her. "I'm not convinced I'll grow on him," she said off hand, looking past Lexa's throne and out at the view from the balcony.

 

Lexa looked up and regarded Clarke as Clarke stared a little wistfully at Polis. She was rubbing her thigh gently and if she was honest, she couldn't remember the last time someone had stood this close to her when she was sat on her throne. It was always just guards standing off and to either side behind her. Clarke kind of towered above her and it was unheard of, really, and Pius would certainly throw a fit but Lexa couldn't find it in herself to care. Not when the situation made her remember the last time they were alone and Clarke was standing this close to her. It made Lexa swallow and she gripped at her thigh, the corresponding pain that shot through her sending her mind reeling back.

 

_Clarke's fingertips pushed heavily into the back of Lexa's neck as her other hand gripped fiercely at her shoulder, holding the Commander as close as she could while she kissed her with just as much passion as Lexa craved._

_Lexa wasn't sure where it came from, or how exactly Clarke ended up standing between her legs and flush against her body but regardless, it was everything and all too much at the same time and even if the Commander had wanted to protest, in that moment she neither had the will power nor the inclination to do so._

_Clarke's hands were on her, her fingertips rubbing all along the base of her neck and she was leading this kiss, Lexa being absolutely more than happy to allow her. Clarke's fingertips were igniting Lexa's skin; sending mini shockwaves shooting down her spine and a heat that spread along her body and erupted into her chest. It was amazing, making Lexa feel a whole load of things that were only unlocked with Clarke kissed her and regardless of where they were, Lexa just really didn't want it to stop._

_She was tired, though, and Lexa's body ached. Her leg throbbed but it didn't matter. Nothing did outside of Clarke's wandering fingers and the press of her maddening lips. Clarke was kissing her like she was the last woman on Earth and it was breathing life into her like nothing else ever had. It was lighting her up, making her feel strong and with every press of Clarke's tongue against her own and every scrape of Clarke's teeth against her bottom lip it was like she became untouchable, and she gladly welcomed as much of it as she could get._

_It was like the last time, what felt like so long ago in her tent in TonDC but the emotions came flooding back to her like it was yesterday. Clarke's body against hers was delicious; her contours just as she remembered them and the Commander vehemently cursed the invention of clothes. She was rapidly getting carried away she knew, but as Clarke didn't seem to care right then, then neither did she._

_Lexa moved her hands from Clarke's hips and wrapped her arms around her waist, hugging her as close as she possibly could. It was intoxicating, and when Clarke moaned into her mouth when Lexa tensed her arms, eradicating all space between them and bumping every inch of their bodies together Lexa just couldn't help the gasp that fell from her lips._

_It made them pause for a moment, each sucking in a deep breath as they held onto each other tightly, neither opening their eyes as their fingers still explored and the only sounds in the room belonging to their own heaving chests._

_Lexa licked her lips and then she hummed, quietly and only for a moment before she bit lightly on her lip, not entirely sure what to do but it wasn't as if her mind was thinking clearly. All she could see was fog, a thick, dense kind of mist that obscured all thought aside from that of the woman in front of her and all it did was make her all the more beautiful. It took Lexa's breath away and when she opened her eyes the blue in Clarke's were staring straight at her lips and so after hardly any consideration at all, the Commander leaned forwards and captured her lips again._

_Lexa's one hand moved to Clarke's ass as she felt a raw growl form in the depth of her chest. It vibrated up her throat and dissipated in the back of her mouth but the force of it was still there and it was echoed as she dug her fingers into the material of Clarke's pants. It made Clarke gasp in return and it only turned Lexa on all the more._

_In response Clarke's nails raked up Lexa's back and then she brought her hands up over her shoulders so she could cup Lexa's face, digging her thumbs roughly into her cheekbones as their chests both heaved heavily and desperately for air. They were both moaning; sighing into each other's mouths and pulling at each other like they weren't in medical on the Ark. Making out like there was no other care in the world, like somebody couldn't walk in on them at any moment._

_Lexa's heart was pounding and she was losing all control of her breathing. She felt years younger again and her body was tingling and shuddering like she wasn't the Commander of the twelve clans. Like she wasn't practised and more than capable of suppressing her feelings but, she just didn't want to. Her brain wanted Clarke just as much as her heart did and so she pushed into the kiss, straightening her back a little so she could gain some leverage and Clarke let her. She let Lexa take over and that in and of itself sent a thousand more sparks shooting down her spine._

_It made her chest overflow and her gut clench with need and she splayed her fingers out against Clarke's lower back, ensuring that Clarke's hips would stay pressed heavily against her own and the Commander could feel it, then, as Clarke's back arched and her hands went back around her neck and into hair. Lexa felt desire like she couldn't remember, something like wanting someone for more than just a night. She was feeling desire and passion for someone she felt affection for and it was a revelation. It made her chest flip and the heat pool heavily in the pit of her stomach and then quite suddenly, it was just all too much._

_Lexa released Clarke's lips and she sucked in a heavy, chest expanding breath as Clarke's forehead reflexively crashed into her own. She was panting too, her breaths just as laboured and her whole body trembling within the circle of Lexa's arm and that's when Lexa realised, she was trembling too._

_Somehow Lexa managed to claw back some semblance of control. It was hard though, so very, very hard to just not give in right then but she knew Clarke would be thinking it too. It took a few minutes but eventually Lexa opened her eyes and found that Clarke's were still squeezed shut, her lips slightly apart as she breathed and her face was a little flushed. It made Lexa smile and as she pulled her head back she reached up with her left hand and pushed those few strands of blonde hair that had fallen loose behind Clarke's ear._

_It wasn't long before Clarke sighed heavily, a small and slightly bashful smile on her lips and then without thinking she dropped her hands to Lexa's thighs and squeezed._

 

Lexa gasped from the pain and her eyes immediately dropped down to her leg.

 

"Lexa," Clarke breathed, immediately crouching down to her side, her one hand on the arm of the throne and her other hovering somewhere over Lexa's knee. "Are you okay?"

 

Lexa quickly coughed under her breath and she shook her head, blinking a couple times to rid her mind of the images. _It wasn't the time_ she told herself, repeatedly and quickly in her mind. This wasn't the time for any of it. The stakes were high, the Ice Queen was coming and she wouldn't let Clarke be another casualty of the decisions she would have to make. It was what Pius had told her regarding Costia after all and in the end, he was right.

 

Clarke's attention fell to Lexa's thigh where she knew her wound would be troubling her. "Let me see it," she said, without a second thought.

 

Lexa just stared at her, sort of frozen where she sat. Her unguarded green eyes in that moment roaming all over Clarke's face and drinking her in. Clarke looked up at her then, the care and affection evident on her face and Lexa had to blink that away, too. She swallowed and she was certain it echoed around the room. "What?"

 

There was a tiny hint of amusement twitching at the corner of Clarke's lips. "Your wound," she clarified, and then she laid her hand on Lexa's knee before her expression went back to business. "I want to see if it's weeping and your bandage probably needs changing." Clarke snatched a glance over her shoulder as she wondered where she could possibly get some from.

 

Lexa raised her brow, her tone surprisingly even considering what she was thinking. "You want me to remove my pants, in my throne room?"

 

At that Clarke turned back to her, the amusement back as she took in the Commander's look of astonishment.

 

Lexa just peered at her even harder. "While I am on my throne?" Pius most certainly would throw a fit. He'd likely have a heart attack.

 

Clarke looked back down to Lexa's thigh and fought really hard to contain her laugh. She knew Lexa was finding this funny too; she could tell by the way she said her last sentence, her tone all light and full of disbelief at the suggestion. She squeezed Lexa's knee gently. "For medical reasons," she said with a smile, and then she looked up, "Commander."

 

Lexa licked her lips slowly and then she swallowed again. She was grateful for the small reprieve from what would likely be nothing but war planning and strategy very, very soon. Her and Clarke's interactions limited to thinking about and discussing their people and the push and pull of negotiation. She sighed as she smiled at Clarke. "My leg is fine," she said quietly, noting Clarke's sceptical look. "You may check it later."

 

Lexa stood up, then, Clarke's hand falling from her knee and although that was her intention she still found that she missed it. She pushed out a heavy breath and then turned toward her balcony, walking toward it before she pushed the doors open and stepped out onto it, breathing in the clean, fresh air of her city and reminding herself again why everything she had achieved was worth it.

 

It was a moment or so before Clarke joined her, standing back a little from the edge where Lexa was loitering. The first thing that struck Clarke was how windy it was but it only took her a minute or so to adjust and then she was simply, and not for the first time, overwhelmed. Polis looked... huge. She had to take another step forward as her curiosity insisted she take a look over the edge as much as her nerve would allow. It was a sheer drop but it was magnificent; tiny people around the base of the tower moving along the surrounding streets and disappearing into buildings. Streets that merged together and structures that blurred until the landscape dissolved into the tree line at the edge of the city. It was just so green, beyond the city, just miles and miles of trees until the landscape reached the mountains along the horizon. Clarke just didn't have adequate words for it. She had seen pictures in books of what cities were like on the ground before the bombs fell and it was absolutely, completely and utterly nothing like this. Not at all.

 

Clarke didn't know how long she stared for, but she felt like she could do with an eternity more of it in order to take it all in. She felt her lips smile and that's when she looked at Lexa, at the proud line of her profile as she too, surveyed her city. "It's amazing, Lexa," Clarke whispered, not sure if she'd be heard above the whistling, swirling breeze. She knew she wouldn't be able to articulate accurately what she truly thought and it only made her want to capture it on canvas. One day she would, she knew, and then she regarded the view once more. "Really. So beautiful."

 

"It wasn't always like this," the Commander replied after several minutes, turning her head a little toward Clarke so she would hear her clearly. "Historically the Commander was always more preoccupied with the warring clans than the prosperity of the capital city." Her mood had quickly followed her trail of thought into how life could return to that should Nia have her way. Not that Lexa would live to see it; she would die at the Queen's hand before she saw her occupy Polis and take her throne. That would be the only way such a thing would happen. Lexa lifted her chin and stood straighter, regardless of the ache in her leg. "My people deserve the lives they live. They have worked just as hard for it as I have, and my warriors gladly sacrificed their lives for this peace." She was only sorry that war was upon them once again and it pained her that she probably wouldn't be able to prevent it. For some reason, she felt like she could share this with Clarke and even though perhaps it was unwise she carried on unbidden. She liked it, and it felt good to be able to voice her thoughts in this way. She glanced at Clarke, then. "I will not let my Coalition crumble," she said as she shook her head. "And I will not let Polis go to ruin."

 

Clarke could see the emotion thick on Lexa's face as well as hear it in her voice and it was a first, to see her so open. She had seen glimpses of it while she was in TonDC, the Commander letting tiny pieces of herself be vulnerable as Clarke challenged her on certain things. Sometimes it was in her eyes, sometimes just in her voice and sometimes her expression would falter, just a little before she was quick to pull it back in place but this time, Lexa was letting her see. She was letting Clarke see just how much this meant to her, her people and her city and her Coalition and Clarke felt compelled to voice her support.

 

She had already told Lexa she would, of course, back on the Ark but now she felt like saying it again. She felt like stepping forward and enveloping Lexa from behind in a tight hug, like squeezing her and whispering into the skin at the back of her neck that she wouldn't let Polis go to ruin either, that she would stand and fight with her because... well... and then Clarke swallowed, blinking a few times to step herself out of her momentum.

 

Clarke frowned and then Lexa looked away, back out and across her city and then Clarke realised, perhaps, exactly how the Commander was able to get warring clan leaders to unite with each other. Probably not with _exactly_ the same speech and emotion she displayed just then but, it was clear Lexa's passion and vision and desire was something that was hard to ignore and if that failed, Clarke suspected her anger was just as passionate in its delivery.

 

Clarke bit on her lip and then pushed out a breath, watching as Lexa's hands found the ledge in front of her as she placed her right one just in front of and to the side of Clarke, her fingers rubbing lightly and slowly over the exposed stone. If Clarke was to pay it enough attention, she knew what she felt would scare her. Raven's words still playing on her mind but they were distant, hardly loud enough to be heard over the wind and she was easily getting swept up in everything Lexa was showing her and so she didn't think about it. She pushed it to the side as she reached up with her left hand and carefully laid her third and little fingers over Lexa's on the cool stone.

 

It made Lexa look down at their now joined hands and then Clarke looked at her, a quiet kind of determination in her tone when she spoke. "Polis won't go to ruin, Lexa," she said, and after a moment the Commander met her gaze. "Because I won't let it either."

 

The stared at each other for a long moment and slowly, Lexa's lips began to curl up at the edges as she linked her third finger over Clarke's little one and gave it a slow and gentle squeeze.

 

They stayed like that for a while, just appraising each other in the soft gaze of their eyes but then before Clarke could even register it, the doors to the throne room swung open and suddenly Lexa was no longer standing in front of her. Clarke hadn't even seen her move but the Commander had somehow stalked passed her and was back in front of her throne, talking quickly and quietly with whomever it was that just walked in.

 

Clarke breathed in the air above Polis for a final time before she left the seclusion of the balcony and followed Lexa back into the throne room.

 

**

 

"Clarke," Lexa said to her, emotional expressions and vulnerable eyes completely rescinded. She was stood at the bottom of the steps at the foot of her throne and at the side of her newest guest. "This is Luna kom Floukru. Luna, this is Clarke."

 

Luna took a step toward Clarke but didn't climb the stairs and if she thought it was odd that Clarke didn't descend, she didn't say anything about it. "Wanheda," she acknowledged with a tiny smile, practised neutrality evident on her face. "I have heard much about you."

 

"Oh?" Clarke asked, trying to keep her expression passive too. She wasn't sure how well she pulled it off.

 

Luna's eyes flicked over her quickly, sizing up the great and powerful Wanheda. Clarke assumed it was what all the clan leaders would do when she eventually met them. "It is good to finally meet you."

 

Clarke smiled tightly, noting the way Luna kom Floukru appraised her. How she was probably judging her and the way Lexa seemed more at ease in Luna's presence than in either Pius or Dax's. Luna seemed of a similar age to Lexa and the way she held herself projected the power and authority of a lifetime spend in leadership, just like Lexa did. It made Clarke wonder, and it made her curious as to why Luna's gaze lingered on Clarke for much longer than it should.

 

"Likewise," Clarke returned, not really sure if she was imagining the tension or not. Her mind was still out on the balcony, if she was honest.

 

Luna's face though didn't betray anything, in fact her expression was motionless and then she turned side on so she could see both Clarke and Lexa in her line of sight. "I know Lexa thinks highly of you," and this time she smiled, a little more carefree than Clarke would have expected. "Therefore so do I."

 

Clarke just nodded, not at all certain as to when Lexa would have had the time to tell Luna anything about her but then Lexa raised her chin, projecting a sense of pride at Luna's words and so Clarke thinned her lips out into a line. "Thank you," she said, feeling somehow as if she was imposing.

 

"I look forward to us working together," Luna finished before she turned back to Lexa. "Heda ai souda chich kom yu op. Soulou."

 

Lexa regarded Luna, uncertain why she was requesting a private meeting. She didn't want anything to be kept from Clarke as she wasn't prepared to do anything to promote a feeling of distrust. Lexa was very bothered about that but Luna however, wasn't usually one for requesting things that weren't necessary and so Lexa conceded with a nod of her head.

 

"Clarke," the Commander said, with a heavy dose of authority in her tone. She walked along the bottom of the steps and gestured for Clarke to join her with her head.

 

Clarke quickly descended the stairs and stopped at Lexa's side before Lexa started walking her to the door. "Luna and I have something to discuss," she told her in hushed tones. "I will arrange a meeting with the clan leaders this evening and I wish for you to attend." She reached out for Clarke's forearm as they stopped just short of the doors, turning her so they faced each other.

 

"Okay," Clarke responded, feeling a little out of place now she was going to be out of Lexa's company. "Is there anything I should know beforehand?"

 

There was a lot she should know but not an awful lot Lexa was going to have time to tell her. She met Clarke's gaze and held onto it as she reached for the door handle. "I will come to you before the meeting." She pushed the door open to find her guards standing to attention just outside, Zeek automatically stepping forward as Lexa sought him out. "Zeek, show Clarke where she will stay while she is a guest of Polis."

 

"Sha, Heda," Zeek responded.

 

Lexa's hands folded behind her back and she adopted her usual regal pose. "I would also like for you to tell her about the clan leaders in preparation for tonight's meeting."

 

Zeek eyed Lexa, then. "The meeting will be tonight, Heda?" he asked, his only concern being there was no way he could do each leader justice in such a short space of time.

 

"Yes," Lexa replied with a little too much shortness in her tone and then she looked at Clarke. "Ask Zeek anything you wish to know," she instructed, stepping back inside her throne room. "I will find you later," she directed at Clarke and then she closed the door.

 

Clarke stared at the door for a moment or two before she swung around and raised her eyebrows at Zeek. "I guess we've got work to do," she sighed, stepping to his side and when he turned they both began walking down the hall.

 

Zeek nodded his head. "Each clan and clan leader has their own intricate and unique history," he began. "Is there anywhere in particular you would like to begin?" he asked. "I am not sure we will have enough time to cover them all."

 

As much as Clarke tried not to let her thoughts wander, she couldn't help but be curious as to why Luna wouldn't speak in front of her, and why exactly Lexa would grant her a private audience but she wouldn't to Dax or Pius or anyone else.

 

"Luna," Clarke suggested before she could pretend it wasn't bothering her. It struck her then that Luna addressed Lexa by her name, rather than her title and it made her brow furrow even further. "She seems close to the Commander," she stated, even though she had no idea how Lexa was with any of the other leaders. She wondered how she should phrase what she wanted to ask. "Has the Commander had more dealings with her than the other clan leaders?" It sounded lame but she hoped Zeek wouldn't pick up on her real reasons for asking.

 

He didn't seem to and Clarke was glad. They reached the rickety lift and Clarke tried to push the nervous feeling out of her chest as she stepped onto it. "Heda veida-of," he instructed the lift operator. "They have known each other for a long time," he finally responded. "They grew up together here in Polis and Pius has often said how they were inseparable. Always causing trouble," Zeek smiled, recalling the stories Pius would tell on Ascension Day. "Luna spends much of her time in Polis and her general, Derek, she relies upon to assist in leading her clan."

 

Clarke immediately wanted to know why she spent so much of her time in Polis but instead asked as she raised an eyebrow, "So, they're friends?"

 

Zeek thought about it as the lift came to an abrupt stop, not even flinching as Clarke almost jumped out of her skin. The door opened and Zeek stepped out, walking down the hall as he still thought over it, not even realising that it took a moment for Clarke to get over the short journey on the lift. "I am unsure if they are friends," he decided on in the end. He wasn't sure if Heda considered anyone a friend, anymore. "As warriors we are told friendship must not come before duty."

 

Clarke frowned. "Really?" She pretty much already knew it but to her it was still shocking to hear.

 

"In war friends are often taken from us at any moment. Our mentors, our family. Heda knows this as much as anyone." At the end of the hall Zeek stopped at a grand looking door and he leaned into it as he held it open, waiting for Clarke to pass through.

 

"That sounds like a lonely way to..." she trailed off, her eyes widening in awe or it might have been shock as she stepped into the vast room, "...live." Clarke was amazed and her jaw dropped open with the strength of it.

 

The room was extravagant by any stretch of the imagination in comparison to anywhere she had slept before. It had a large, lavish bed to one side, several pieces of furniture and a huge window that spread across the entire length of the room. There were doors at the other end that lead onto what Clarke assumed would be a balcony, intricately carved statues that held candles with some chairs and a big table in the opposite corner that too had candles scattered all over it. It had to be the size of the entire medical bay back on the Ark, if not a little bigger and Clarke had no idea why Zeek had brought her here. Surely this wasn't going to be her room. That would be ludicrous.

 

Zeek had followed her into the room and had just carried on talking, not paying any attention to the array of emotions flickering over Clarke's face. "...It is how we live," he concluded, obviously finishing whatever train of thought he had been following.

 

Clarke shook her head. "Umm, sorry, Zeek," she said quietly and then she cut to the chase. "What is this room?"

 

Zeek stared at her in surprise. "Where you will sleep," he responded, like it was the stupidest thing he had ever heard her say. "While you are staying here in Polis," he clarified, when Clarke didn't respond.

 

Clarke chanced another look around the room. "But it's huge. It's bigger than the Commander's tent in TonDC."

 

Zeek still had an expression on his face like Clarke had lost her mind, or something. He shook his head, just a little. "This is not TonDC," he said quite flatly, not really sure why he was having to explain this. "This is Polis, and this is Heda's Tower." He fixed her with a firm, pointed look. "There are no tents here."

 

The seriousness on his face served to pull Clarke out of it and he actually looked offended that she should liken anything in Polis to a tent in TonDC. Even if it was the Commander's tent. She smiled, and tried to take it all in her stride. "Okay," she sighed as she walked over to the bed. It was massive and she was sure it was bigger than her entire cell in solitary. She turned and lowered herself onto it, letting her weight sink into the mattress and furs and it was the softest thing she had felt in a very, very long time. Her ass was very pleased. "So," she said, remembering where they were and what they were doing. "What is Floukru?"

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Translations. **
> 
> **"Mochof."**  
>  "Thank you."
> 
>  **"Mounin hou."**  
>  "Welcome home."
> 
>  **Gonasleng.**  
>  English.
> 
>  **"Sha Heda."**  
>  "Yes, Commander."
> 
>  **"Ai em op. Der belaik loda kru chon na nou gaf em hir in."**  
>  "Watch them. There are many people who won't want them here."
> 
>  **"Zeek shil Klark op. Yu get daun kom moun."**  
>  "Zeek guards Clarke. Your concern is with the others."
> 
>  **"Hod hir op,"**  
>  "Wait here."
> 
>  **"Mounin hou. Ha yu ledon?"**  
>  "Welcome home. How is your wound?"
> 
>  **"Sha Heda. Loda. Polis don gaf yu in taim kom gon-"**  
>  "Yes, Commander. Much has. Polis needed you long ago-"
> 
>  **Kasius kom Sankru**  
>  Kasius of the Desert Clan (pronounced Kas-i-us)
> 
>  **Reiki kom Podakru**  
>  Reiki of the Lake People (pronounced Ray-kee)
> 
>  **"Luna kom Floukru."**  
>  "Luna of the Boat People."
> 
>  **"Heda ai souda chich kom yu op. Soulou."**  
>  "Commander, I must talk with you. Alone."
> 
>  **"Heda veida-of."**  
>  "The Commander's floor." (I made 'veida-of' up, translating to 'elevator off').
> 
>  
> 
> ** For information. **
> 
> **Zion kom Delfikru**  
>  Zion of the Delphi Clan (pronounced Zee-on)
> 
>  **Anton kom Ouskejon Kru**  
>  Anton of the Blue Cliff Clan (pronounced Anton)
> 
>  **Roks kom Louwoda Kliron**  
>  Roks of the Shadow Valley (pronounced Rox)


	13. thotin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke meets the clan leaders and generals while Kane gets enamoured with Polis and annoyed by Bellamy. Clarke tries to keep up with the politics of the Coalition but finds there is a lot to take in, and Zeek isn't particularly much help. Clarke and Lexa share a lot of moments and become closer after a surprising event.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is by far my favourite chapter of this story so far. I love it, so I really hope you guys enjoy it :) It's long and there's a lot happening, lots of talking, action and Clexa goodness ;) I really put a lot into this one soooooo please let me know what you think! :) You can leave me a message here or contact me on [Twitter](http://twitter.com/talented_gemx) or [Tumblr](http://talentedgemx.tumblr.com) :)
> 
> ClexaCon happened! :D OMG it was so good! I had such a good time and spoke with so many new people from fandom it was excellent, truly. I really hope there will be another one next year and if you didn't come this year, make sure you go to that one! I posted a couple pics on my Twitter so go check them out if you like. Lexa's throne was there! Lexa! Lexa's throne :O awesome.

To say Clarke was intimidated would be an understatement, but she was managing to hide it well. She had conducted herself very well with members of Lexa's Coalition before, after all, when it was her plan that the Commander stood behind. Or at least she did eventually, after their run in with the Pauna but here she stood with the leaders of the twelve clans and their generals, all talking over themselves as they tried to be heard.

 

The meeting had been going on for a while, to mostly disagreements and angered questions. They were in Lexa's throne room, a large table set up in the middle to which the leaders all stood around, their generals standing just behind them and a number of guards lining the walls at the back.

 

"Quiet!" Lexa bellowed and her reprimanding tone echoed around the room, silencing the disgruntled leaders so their disagreements lowered into dull murmurs. The Commander's eyes were intense and she glared in turn at the two in particular who interrupted her last sentence.

 

Clarke had no idea how Lexa managed it, really, to get these strong and fierce grounders to fall into line. To silence them with nothing but her eyes, her tone and impenetrable demeanour. Not for the first time Clarke wondered what the hell it was Lexa did during their last war, the one before the Coalition was fully formed. Maybe one day she would ask her.

 

Lexa continued glaring at Anton in particular, her eyes flicking to Zion just twice before they settled back on the leader of the Blue Cliff Clan. The Commander waited for the murmurs to reduce to whispers before she carried on speaking. "Skaikru stand with the Coalition now, and Wanheda marches by _my_ side," she said in a low and dangerous tone, her eyes sweeping to Kasius and Reiki to solidify her point. If their allegiance depended on the side Clarke chose, then Lexa would ensure there was no confusion. At her words the leaders of the Desert Clan and Lake People respectively cast wary glances toward Clarke who did her best to mirror the Commander's confidence. Lexa thought she did it well.

 

Clarke swallowed through the silence and after a moment she met Lexa's unrelenting gaze. There was some reassurance she found there just for her and Clarke clenched her jaw at it, taking a firm hold of the invisible support the Commander extended to her. Lexa's eyes held nothing but strength and Clarke found a large kind of comfort there.

 

"Heda," Kasius spoke up in a firm but respectful tone. "How can we trust Wanheda won't seek revenge? That her people won't break this second alliance you offer them?"

 

Lexa turned to him from her place at the table and raised her jaw, pinning him with her glaze.

 

According to Zeek, Kasius was a fair man. He was aging too much unlike the majority of the other male clan leaders. The Desert Clan was mostly peaceful and Kasius lead with a wise head, staying largely out of politics and very likely to go with the majority. His lands were vast as was his army and Zeek had said Nia would've promised him impossible things to win his allegiance. He was no fool, however, and being one of the older leaders he was more aware of Nia's history than most and therefore what she was capable of. Everyone knew she would need support, though, and so without Wanheda and the influence she would bring Nia didn't hold out much hope of receiving enough backing.

 

Clarke therefore understood why he was asking such a question.

 

"Wanheda is here, Kasius," Lexa responded firmly. "Perhaps direct your question toward her." She then turned and ascended the steps to her throne, her coat billowing out as she moved and when she sat down, she did so with all the authority of her station.

 

Kasius turned to Clarke then, and with a quick glance in Lexa's direction she took a deep breath and responded. "My people want peace," she began as her eyes moved around the room. " _I_ , want peace-"

 

"-That guarantee's nothing," Anton interrupted, his huge bulking chest as inflated as it was with his last interruption. He held is hand in the air in Clarke's direction.

 

"Anton," Lexa growled, but he carried on nevertheless.

 

His voice rose so this time it was his words that bounced off the throne room walls. "We have no confidence she won't betray you just as you betrayed her." Lexa's eyes widened as immediate chatter began amongst the other leaders so Anton just shouted louder. "That her people won't stand against us. We cannot trust Wanheda-"

 

Luna was quick to cut him off with a bang of her hand against the surface of the thick, oak table. She placed her other hand on it too and then leaned her weight across it. "-Do not pretend you stand with the Coalition, Anton," she shouted just as loud as him, the others cutting off their muttering at the confrontation. "We are all aware of where your loyalties lie."

 

Anton grinned, at that, and quickly rolled his shoulders back as if to refute the accusation. "If that were true, why would I be here?"

 

Luna glared at him even harder. "That I would like to know. Why don't you tell us?"

 

"I am more a part of this Coalition than Wanheda," Anton snapped back, "and my clan deserves protection against the threat she may bring."

 

Roks was keen to join in on the argument, clear in her support for the Commander and the Coalition. "And what of the threat Azgeda brings?" she seethed toward the Ice Nation representatives.

 

Kristof was quick to defend his clan, stepping forward to take centre stage. "Azgeda brings no threat," he announced, very dismissively.

 

She didn't believe him for a second. "You say that when your army marches on my land as we speak."

 

Kristof looked away from Roks and waved his hand in the air. "Our army is simply conducting military exer-"

 

"-For what purpose?" Kaia interrupted, the Trishana leader easily jumping on the bandwagon.  "Your army has no purpose conducting exercises so far south."

 

"There is a new clan even further south," Kristof countered. "Azgeda will not be intimidated by Skaikru and their weapons." He turned to Clarke then, lowering his voice a little. "We will make sure they know this."

 

"The Azgeda army has no authority any further south than the rock line," Lexa growled lowly, her eyes glaring daggers at the Ice Nation general. "You risk retaliation simply by marching."

 

Kristof raised his chin at the Commander, clearly in a show of defiance. "We are entitled to defend ourselves."

 

"Are you being attacked?" Luna asked, voicing the question that was poised on Lexa's lips.

 

There were a few murmurs around the table but Kristof was quick to silence them. To not be belittled before the Coalition. "Azgeda will not be told how to behave in the face of this new threat," he answered rather angrily.

 

Clarke sighed as she became annoyed. "We are no threat to you," she pushed out, a deep furrow in her brow. "Why would we be?" She wasn't comfortable in letting this general blame her people for his clan's movements against the Coalition.

 

"You are the only threat here, Kristof," Dolsha grinned at him, the leader of Yujleda. She could see through his lies, his stalling tactics and so could everyone else. "You and those who follow you."

 

"As you rightly say, Kristof," Lexa continued then, looking at him with practised nonchalance. "Azgeda _is_ a part of my Coalition. If Skaikru did indeed pose a threat they would not be here." There were several gentle murmurs before Lexa stood and strode toward him, her shoulders back and her tone suddenly dangerous. "Your clan is under my rule and I _order_ your army back to your own lands."

 

Kristof became just as imposing in return, or at least he tried to be. "If you cannot see the danger her clan brings," he said as he pointed blatantly at Clarke, "then it is your leadership that is in question."

 

The murmurs rose in volume as Lexa bared her teeth, snapping her reply as her eyes flashed with anger. "Then it is your Queen's place to voice this, not yours," she growled, her guards taking their positions at her sides with their hands poised on their weapons ready to strike at her word. The leaders loyal to Lexa also looked ready to strike at any moment.

 

All Kristof could do was back off, not ready and completely in over his head to be talking to the Commander in such a way but it was his mission to undermine her as much as possible at this meeting. "Apologies, Heda," he offered after a good few moments, lowering his head a little to her authority. "I only say what I see, in my Queen's absence."

 

Lexa though knew exactly what he was doing. "And it is your Queen's absence that highlights _her_ weakness," she pushed back at him, keen to label her a coward for not bothering to be in attendance. "Nia refuses to face me yet thinks she can renege on her sworn allegiance to this Coalition. To me." Lexa's eyes were on fire and Kristof couldn't even bring himself to meet them so she turned and went back to her throne, standing tall in front of it with her chest puffed out. "Such behaviour will _not_ be tolerated. Take this message to your Queen. If she does not retreat her forces behind the rock line by dusk tomorrow then I _will_ unleash the forces of my army to force her, and those who stand with her."

 

Kristof kept his head bowed but flicked his eyes up just a little. "Such a move with be an act of war-"

 

"-Nia's actions are already an act of war!" Lexa spat, glaring at him with all of her ferocity and deadly intent. She wouldn't be undermined, and she was tired of granting Nia liberties she didn't deserve. "It is only by my grace that she is allowed such movement but I will _not_ allow it to continue."

 

The room was thrust into silence and Clarke honestly thought Lexa might strike the general dead there and then so after a very tension-fuelled silence she spoke, wanting to let everyone know exactly who she supported. "Whether we are in the Coalition or not," she began, her voice getting louder with each word. "Skaikru support the Commander in this. We fight with her, and the Coalition."

 

Luna's attention turned to Clarke and she smiled just a little, and it made Clarke think she had done the right thing. She noticed Kasius and Reiki nodding at her words too, which was exactly what she wanted. Hopefully after hearing that they would have no desire to stand with Azgeda.

 

"We look forward to working with you, Wanheda," Reiki said after a few moments and Clarke smiled tightly at her in return.

 

There was a look between Kristof, Anton and Zion but they remained quiet.

 

Lexa seemed pleased and her anger was pacified for now. She took in a breath and glanced around the room. "You have remained quiet in this, Zion," she said as her eyes settled on him.

 

Zion looked awkward, and a little nervous if a man close to seven feet tall could look such things. He seemed to contemplate something before he spoke, bowing his head in respect of his Heda. "Delfikru stand where we always do, Heda," and then he looked at Clarke. "We are interested to know more of what Skaikru wish to contribute, should they truly stand with the Coalition."

 

"Politics can wait until after the Ice Queen withdraws her forces," Lexa responded quickly. It was another distraction tactic and she inwardly shook her head at it. _On the fence is where you always stand, Zion,_ was her first choice of reply. _And perhaps still upset that I paid Skaikru more attention than you..._

 

"And if she shouldn't, Heda?" Azizi asked, and then Lexa regarded him.

 

Zeek had explained to Clarke that Azizi and Lexa went back a long way so she didn't think for a moment the question was a challenge. More like him giving Lexa an opportunity to intimate those who might turn against the Coalition.

 

The question itself made Kristof want to protest but Lexa held up a hand to silence him as she turned her attention to the general.

 

Her tone was once more low, and once more deadly, her eyes narrowed in hatred for the woman she spoke of. "Then she declares war against me and this time I _will_ make an example of her." She let her words sink in for a moment before she stood and then continued. "She will be a lesson to those who wish to oppose me and unlike last time, she will not be granted another chance." Lexa then relaxed her frame a little as she regarded everyone in the room. "Ready your forces. Tomorrow we plan for war."

 

There were more gentle murmurs that erupted throughout the room however Kristof didn't waste a moment in sticking around. He left the room in a hurry followed by Anton and their delegations, some others taking their time in leaving so they could exchange a few words with their Heda and then bow before leaving her presence. Zion simply watched for a good few moments, speaking quietly with his own generals before he left amongst everyone else, not waiting to speak to Lexa, however.

 

Lexa and Luna conversed quietly at the foot of the throne with Azizi, Roks and Dolsha exchanging rapid fire conversation in Trigedasleng at the side of the table. The others who remained simply spoke with their generals and waited for a moment with their Heda.

 

Eventually though, Lexa was finally free and she made her way over to Clarke.

 

"Hey," Clarke greeted as Lexa came to a stop a foot or so from her, linking her hands behind her back and inclining her head a little. She barely smiled, but Clarke knew it was there.

 

There were a few things Lexa wanted to say but seeing as the delegations were slow on leaving the room she was forced to keep most of her comments to herself, for now. Instead she simply regarded Clarke, happy at the things Clarke said and how she handled herself during the meeting.

 

After a few moments Clarke leaned a little closer to Lexa as her lips formed a small smirk. Honestly she was relieved the meeting was over, but at the same time was nervous for what would follow. "That was intense, huh?" she said on a whisper, careful so no one else would hear.

 

Lexa nodded her head just once as Clarke pulled away, raising her brow a little in response. "As expected," she said, trying not to be curt after dealing with Kristof. She felt some tension in her shoulders and tried to let it drain out of her, sighing as she took her mind to better things. "Thank you," she offered quietly, "for what you said."

 

Clarke smiled at that and for a moment she glanced at the floor. She looked at Lexa from under her brow. "Hopefully it had the desired effect."

 

Lexa licked her lips, knowing it did. Kasius and Reiki were undoubtedly convinced Wanheda was on her side so as long as they still respected or feared Clarke, Lexa would have their loyalty. Lexa was grateful and she wanted to express but that she knew, would have to wait. She did however, provide Clarke with a bigger smile. "We shall see," she responded, and Clarke grinned back at her.

 

Luna chose that moment to interrupt and Clarke had to battle with herself not to roll her eyes. The Floukru leader touched Lexa on the arm and then dismissed herself and her delegation from the room. Luna inclined her head to Lexa and then focused her attention on Clarke. "Wanheda," she said as she lifted her chin, and then she made her way for the doors.

 

She didn't give Clarke a chance to respond, not that she would've done anyway but even so Clarke watched after her as she left the room, still very curious and interested in whatever had or was happening between her and the Commander. It took her a moment to turn back but when she did Lexa was regarding her with a curious expression of her own.

 

"So," Clarke began as she sucked in a deep breath and blinked a few times to get herself back on track. "What happens now?"

 

Lexa was quick to drop the curious look and she easily slipped back into Heda mode. The room now considerably more empty so Lexa let herself speak a little more freely. "If what we assume is correct, Delfikru and Ouskejou Kru will not remain in Polis after tonight. They will ride with the Azgeda delegation to where Nia is camped and discuss their own battle plans."

 

Clarke's brow furrowed. "Why don't we just stop them before they leave? Imprisoning the leaders of those clans will stop Nia from attacking, right?"

 

Lexa raised her eyebrows. "It would," she replied as she exhaled a breath. "But being a member of the Coalition offers the clans a certain amount of protection," she explained, trying to abbreviate until she could explain the ins and outs of the Coalition to Clarke properly. "There are rules that I simply cannot break because I think those leaders may attack me. The point of the Coalition is to promote peace and fairness. If I were to lock up whoever I chose and hold them indefinitely on a suspicion I would be breaking my own laws."

 

Clarke nodded her head. "Oh," she responded, and earned another little smile from Lexa. "And what would happen if you broke your own laws?"

 

Lexa licked her lips. "My own people would turn on me. The clan leaders would likely imprison me and then Nia would have her chance."

 

"Right," Clarke responded. So obviously that was a no go. Her mind still carried on working, though. "So what do you have to wait for before you can take them prisoner?"

 

Lexa considered it. "An act of war. An attempt on my life, or on the life of another clan leader."

 

"Ah," Clarke sighed. She had lots of questions, far too many for Lexa to answer all of them now so she stopped herself, letting out a long and frustrated breath.

 

"There is a lot for you to learn, Clarke," Lexa started, taking a half step closer to her.

 

Clarke just raised her eyebrows.

 

"It will take time, but I thank you for being here. For doing what you are," and then Lexa stopped, lowering her voice to nothing more than a whisper. "I am in your debt."

 

Clarke swallowed and felt the inflection in Lexa's tone was offering more than what her words were saying. She saw the glint in her eyes too and it made the breath hitch in her chest, a little. "I'm sure I can think of something for repayment," Clarke responded before she could stop herself and then suddenly she felt utterly embarrassed at flirting with the Commander in her throne room, with a couple of clan leaders still milling around, no less. She quickly looked at the floor as she felt the heat rise in her cheeks.

 

Lexa though, didn't seem embarrassed at all and in fact it was all she could do to conceal her smile. The Commander cleared her throat to get Clarke's attention and then she moved toward her, touching her arm as she passed to get her to follow. "Come," Lexa said, the almost smile still on her lips. "I will show you to the banquet hall. I have to meet with my generals and scouts shortly but there is no need for you to miss dinner."

 

Clarke felt relieved, knowing the Commander was in a much better mood now than when the meeting ended and it was because of her, no matter how stupid her comment had been. It didn't take long for her to regain her composure and as they both stepped into the lift, Clarke tried not to let her mind wander to how she'd really like Lexa to repay her.

 

**

 

"Can you believe this?" Kane asked, totally immersed in what he was seeing. The smile had been plastered all over his face since reaching the market and he was, by definition, completely enamoured. He picked up an item and stared at it, frowning a little in curiosity.

 

"Gon soujon," the grounder whose stall it was said, gesturing at the implement in Kane's hand. Kane looked at the man still confused. "Gon fig woda au".

 

Kane raised his head as if to agree and then he nodded a couple of times.

 

"He says you use it to find water," Octavia said as she stepped next to Kane. "Somehow I don't think you'll need one."

 

"I don't know," Kane said as he continued smiling, placing the item back down on the stall. "It could come in handy at some point." Octavia threw him a disbelieving look as he seemed to give in to her point. "Mochof," he said to the grounder and then carried on walking with Octavia by his side. "Isn't this fantastic?" he asked with excitement, not even letting a beat pass. He held his palms in the air in front of him and gestured to all that was going on around them. "A fully thriving society. I could never have imagined a city as big as this. Each aspect of it serving some purpose; buyers, sellers, workers..." he dropped his hands to his sides and sighed. "...Outstanding."

 

"I heard some people talking back there about a training ring," Octavia responded completely ignoring Kane's awe. She was eager to check out the warriors of Polis and see how they trained with each other. "Lincoln said the warriors that are selected to protect Polis are the best of all the clans."

 

Kane just glanced sideways at her and smiled. "As long as you remember we're guests here. I don't want you breaking any protocols volunteering to fight."

 

Octavia rolled her eyes as Bellamy walked up behind them. "We're being followed," he said in an unimpressed tone, looking then to his sister. "And you are _not_ jumping in any ring with any warriors."

 

Octavia rolled her eyes even harder. "Relax," she said as she turned around to glare at her brother, keeping up the pace by walking backwards. "I just want to see what they've got." She frowned at him, then, as he gave her a disapproving look. "And don't be telling me what to do."

 

Bellamy turned his head to Kane. "They obviously don't trust us. Why else would guards be following us?"

 

Kane stopped at another stall to pick up some fabric that resembled a loose fitting shirt and Bellamy stood just to his side. Kane looked at it approvingly.

 

Bellamy sighed. "Aren't you worried?"

 

"We're the new guys in town," Kane replied, far more interested in the garment than Bellamy's concerns. "It's understandable Lexa would want to keep an eye on us, and also to protect us." He put the shirt back down. "We're not in the Coalition, remember? And there might be some who won't agree with us being here." He turned to Bellamy and met his gaze firmly. "And if anything does happen, we'll let the guards deal with it, understood?"

 

Bellamy looked to the sky and heaved out a sigh. He didn't like any of this, but they were clearly outnumbered. He tried a different tack. "And what if someone tries something on Clarke? She's on her own out there."

 

Kane grinned and turned back to the stall. "I think Clarke's proved she can handle herself."

 

Octavia jogged up to them then, a smile lighting up her face. "I found the training ring," she informed them as she slapped her brother on the arm. "Come check it out!"

 

Kane turned around just in time to see Octavia run off into the distance. He folded his arms across his chest and peered up at Bellamy. "Your sister's enjoying herself, maybe you should too." He started walking again and reluctantly Bellamy followed suit. "This is a good thing, Bellamy. A chance for us to experience their culture," he clenched his fists out in front of him. "Soak it up. See what they can offer-"

 

"-Why would we want anything _they_ can offer?"

 

Kane abruptly stopped walking and pulled back on Bellamy's arm. For the first time since stepping foot in the city, Kane's brow furrowed in annoyance and disbelief. Disappointment heavily mixed in there, too. "Don't you want this? A peace like this, for your people?"

 

Bellamy tilted his head and regarded Kane warily. "Not with people I don't trust."

 

"Well start trusting them," Kane countered with authority, not caring that his voice was raised a little. Bellamy's refusal to see all this as the gift that it could be was starting to wear thin. To make it worse he knew Bellamy held a lot of influence at Camp Jaha so he'd need to get him onside, somehow. "We're here, they let us in. They're embracing us. We need to embrace them too."

 

Bellamy leaned in closer to him, the nervous in his chest at the situation they were in getting heavier by the second. "And what if they decide to kill us while we're busy embracing them?"

 

Kane sighed and shook his head.

 

Bellamy just carried on regardless. "Lexa has shown us she can't be trusted and as far as I can see, she's done nothing to earn it back."

 

Kane glanced around them as he placed his hands on his hips, catching one or two judgemental looks from a few passersby clearly hearing the tone of Bellamy's voice in which he addressed the Commander. Kane grabbed his elbow and quickly lead him away from the bustle of the crowd.

 

He glared at Bellamy with serious intent. He knew he was wary, in all honestly Kane was a little too, but this was an opportunity he wouldn't miss. Any kind of friendship and camaraderie the Commander of the twelve clans was offering them he wanted to take. Kane wanted nothing more than peace with the grounders and if they could achieve it without incident, then all the better. He wasn't going to let anyone squander it for them all.

 

"Clarke believes Lexa wants peace-"

 

Bellamy rolled his eyes but Kane reached out for him quickly to draw his gaze back in.

 

"-And so do I. For whatever reason she _needs_ Clarke, that much is clear and we all come as a package deal."

 

Bellamy pushed out a breath, looking down and away to the side of Kane.

 

"She's not going to kill us, not when she needs us, so we're all going to be as amenable as possible." Kane held up a hand as Bellamy was about to protest. "It's fine for us to be careful, in fact it's wise for us to be," and then he held up his index finger. "But I will not accept behaviour that will jeopardise this truce between our people."

 

Bellamy clenched his jaw, clearly uncomfortable at Kane's words.

 

Kane looked beneath Bellamy's brow. "Understand?"

 

Bellamy flicked his eyes up to Kane's and then nodded, just once. "Yes sir."

 

"Good," Kane replied after a moment or so and then he took a step back, his tone and demeanour changing quickly to more positive ones. "Now let's find your sister." He took a step around Bellamy and moved to join the crowd.

 

"I hope you're right," Bellamy called over his shoulder, still not convinced even in the least trusting Lexa's people was the right thing to do.

 

Kane stopped in his tracks but didn't look back. "I am," he said without a moment of hesitation, and then he disappeared into the market and Bellamy reluctantly followed.

 

**

 

"So," Clarke frowned, drink in hand but mostly untouched. Her brow was furrowed and she was talking as quietly as she could but still be heard above the dull roar of the vast dining hall. She was standing opposite the buffet tables against the far wall with Zeek at her side, towering a good number of feet above her. He was drinkless and standing to attention watching over the crowds while keeping an eye on Clarke, as per his instructions from Dax after the meeting.

 

Clarke chose this point to take a sip of her drink, too busy contemplating what Zeek was saying to be interested in food right then. Her one arm was folded over her stomach while the other was bent at the elbow, the hand of which loosely holding her cup of wine. "The Delphi Clan and Blue Cliff Clan have history that links them together back before the Coalition was formed-"

 

"-Yes," Zeek confirmed.

 

Clarke was having trouble trying to understand it all. "Before Zion and Anton even took Command?"

 

"Yes."

 

"But something happened between Nia and Anton before or maybe even during the Coalition war and that's why Anton supports her."

 

Zeek nodded his head once. "That is the rumour."

 

"Right." Clarke then screwed up her face, a little. "So, Zion is obliged to follow Anton..."

 

"Yes." Zeek said, and he knew what was coming.

 

"...Why?" Clarke looked up at him then, Zeek's face not moving from the crowd ahead.

 

"I do not know."

 

Clarke sighed, loudly, remembering back to some of her first conversations with the young warrior. "Oh that's right," she said as she rolled her eyes. "You don't ask questions."

 

Zeek took in a breath. "I do not."

 

Clarke pushed out a sigh and had another sip of her wine. Her curiosity was getting the better of her. "But what happened between Nia and Anton?"

 

Zeek did peer down at her then and then slowly raised an eyebrow.

 

Clarke huffed and there was a rumble in her chest at her frustration. She had no idea how Zeek was able to not ask these questions. "Well who will know?"

 

Zeek was amused, she could tell by the tiny flick at the corner of his lips. "It is not your place to ask, Klark kom Skaikru," he replied, causing her to roll her eyes again. He then became serious once more. "All that is important is that these alliances exist, and to understand that Anton and Zion will not be swayed from supporting Azgeda, even if they believe it to be the wrong choice."

 

Clarke nodded, it not taking her much to believe such a thing of grounder culture. "Because Anton owes Nia a debt?"

 

Zeek nodded. "And Delfikru is indebted to Ouskejou Kru."

 

Clarke bit on her bottom lip for a moment. "So there were alliances between the clans before the Commander's Coalition?"

 

"Yes."

 

Clarke became curious again. "Which clans?"

 

Zeek clenched his jaw for a moment, sweeping his gaze through the crowd to gauge whether or not now was a good time for his attention to be on the conversation rather than the crowd. Nothing much was happening apart from chatter and eating, and Anton was keeping to his delegation as was Zion. He blinked once deciding there couldn't be much harm.

 

"Trishana are long time allies of Trikru, although Kaia and Indra are not friends."

 

Clarke found that easy to believe. She was certain Indra's temperament meant she had few or even no friends to speak of. She had to stifle a grin and then she closed her eyes for a moment, searching her memory. "Trishana is the Glowing Forest, right?"

 

"Yes."

 

She looked up at Zeek again. "So is the affiliation purely to do with the similar environments?"

 

Zeek didn't respond, just continued to survey the crowd.

 

"Right, you don't know." Clarke frowned. "Wait, why isn't Indra here? Shouldn't she have been at the meeting?"

 

"Indra is Heda's first general. Being from the same clan Trikru is automatically elevated to the first clan of Polis and she is often tasked with Heda's most important missions."

 

Clarke supposed that made sense. "So who speaks for Trikru if Indra isn't here?"

 

Zeek noticed Kristof enter the hall with his delegation and make his way over to Anton. He clenched his jaw at it, but other than that let it continue. "It is accepted that Heda's clan will side with her. It would be considered traitorous if they should not. Indra does not need to attend."

 

Clarke frowned. "Right."

 

"She will be here for war planning, however."

 

Clarke just raised her eyebrows. There was definitely a lot that Lexa needed to explain to her, at some point. She shook her head. "So what about the other clans?"

 

Kristof then moved away from Anton and approached the food tables and so Zeek rested a little easier. "Dolsha and Roks are close. Their clans are located very near to each other."

 

Clarke tried to remember but her mind was failing her. There were just far too many people and far too many clans. "Which clans are they again?"

 

"Roks is of the Shadow Valley and Dolsha of Broadleaf."

 

"Right, of course." She could recall Roks' clan being mentioned in the meeting, now.

 

Zeek's lips flicked up again. "You need to know this, Wanheda," and then he smiled down at her.

 

Clarke just offered him a glare.

 

Zeek looked back out at the crowd. "They have been friends a long time."

 

Clarke nodded, and then drank some more of her wine. "Like Lexa and Luna?"

 

Whenever anyone mentions Lexa by name Zeek always felt a little uncomfortable. She was Heda to him, therefore she should be Heda to everyone else, especially when people were in earshot. He tossed Clarke a look to inform her as such. "Yes," he nodded. "Like _Heda_ and Luna."

 

It grated on Clarke but she managed to conceal it. She blamed the wine, and whatever Zeek was trying to tell her was lost on her.

 

Zeek sighed and carried on. "Jaikob and Azizi are out to the east, but their clans are not close. Azizi will always wait for Jaikob to arrive within the Plains before they travel to Polis together."

 

"Why?" It was out before Clarke could stop it. After a moment she just gestured in the air for Zeek to forget it.

 

"Kasius does not like company as you know, and Reiki keeps to herself also though she and Azizi always speak when they are in Polis."

 

Zeek nodded across the room to reiterate his point and Clarke followed his line of sight to find both Reiki and Azizi huddled in the corner together. It made Clarke smile. "Maybe they're something to each other," she wondered.

 

Zeek didn't seem to care and he went back to scanning the crowd. "Perhaps," he said quietly, and then after a moment; "Though it would be foolish of them to be so."

 

That really made Clarke furrow her brow. She looked up at him. "Why?"

 

Zeek looked down and met her gaze. "If the lives of warriors are short, than those of our leaders are even shorter."

 

Clarke just shrugged. "And that would stop them because?"

 

Zeek glanced around them once more and thought about how to phrase it. It took him a good minute or so. "Our history dictates that war can befall us at any moment." He looked out across the hall again at the two leaders in question. "And if they should find themselves on opposing sides? It is better they should not risk it. It is why our people do not often pair with those from another clan. It is better that way."

 

Clarke thought back to the Mountain and she immediately understood. "Yeah," she sighed. "I guess I can see that," but then she thought better of it. There had to be a way and as long as there was peace, then surely Reiki and Azizi stood a chance. "But things are changing, right?" she asked, not quite ready to let the idea of leaders from different clans being together go. "With the Commander's Coalition. There's peace, and even with this war they won't be on opposing sides." She didn't know who she was trying to convince at this point.

 

Zeek nodded, briefly. "Three years of change against ninety-five of tradition." He glanced back over to the corner of the room. "Tradition is safer."

 

In that moment Clarke wanted to argue with him. She wanted to point out that he was young, that he shouldn't be so short-sighted. She wanted to ask him how he thought change would come, if their generation wouldn't embrace it but the movement at the far end of the hall stopped her. She saw Lexa break away from the large crowd of people she was surrounded by and stride pointedly toward the raised platform to the left of the buffet tables. Pius was hot on her heels with Dax just behind him and several guards that brought up the rear. At the last moment the Commander snuck a glance at Clarke and even though her face was largely expressionless, Clarke could see the smile in her eyes.

 

It made Clarke consider what exactly Lexa was up against. Kane had been right, all that time ago; Lexa was a visionary. It was clear at least to Clarke that she wanted to change things. Obviously the peace she had forged within her reign was testament enough but here, just to Clarke's right stood one of her youngest warriors. A warrior who preached about tradition even though he loved and respected his Commander above all else. Clarke didn't doubt for a second Zeek would die for Lexa, although whether he knew it or not he didn't share the Commander's vision.

 

It was such a contradiction, but Clarke suspected it was engrained in their training and teaching, especially seeing as how the clans honoured generation-old debts to each other. It seemed the grounders honoured history more so than what the future could hold, and she knew it would take someone magnificent to get them to see things differently. Someone strong who could challenge tradition and show everyone a new way.

 

"Shof op!" Pius shouted out across the hall, silencing everyone almost immediately. He was standing to the side of Lexa who was elevated above everyone else on the platform, her hands interlaced behind her as she stood with her shoulders back, her jaw levelled proudly as she held herself regally and with authority. "Hosh gon Heda!"

 

Clarke was certain Lexa was the person to change the way of life for the grounders, and for her own people, too, for that matter. As Clarke stared at her up on that podium, as she surveyed her people with both dominance and compassion more than anything Clarke wanted to be a part of it, and to help Lexa deliver that ideal of peace. She just had absolutely no idea how Lexa intended to do it.

 

But then she supposed that's why Lexa was the visionary.

 

"I welcome you all to my home," Lexa began, her voice loud and booming and filled with the confidence her persona exuded. "To my halls. There are representatives from the leaderships of each clan here tonight, and we meet to discuss troubling times. You all know this, whether you are a warrior or civilian but understand that whatever is to come, our spirit will not be broken. This Coalition is strong and _will_ remain so no matter the threat, and even if that threat comes from within."

 

"Tonight we welcome Skaikru as our friends, and Wanheda as a trusted ally." Lexa turned to Clarke then, and most in the hall did the same. There was a long moment where Lexa's stare held Clarke's gaze and the Commander's expression lifted, the corners of her lips slightly upturned. Clarke swallowed a little nervously and when she nodded to accept Lexa's words, the Commander then turned away and regarded her people once more. "Tomorrow is a new day when we will ward off all those who wish to threaten us, our peace and our illustrious Capital City but for now, we shall eat and we shall drink and we shall celebrate our unity, and our faith in one another."

 

She turned to Pius as her rousing words sparked various hoots and grunts of support from many in the hall, quite a few punching their fists in the air and slapping each other on the back. Clarke couldn't help but let her gaze fall on Anton and his delegation who were little more than stoic statutes making up the numbers. A quick glance at Zion showed him putting on more of a show for appearances, but his eyes shone with nerves and worry.

 

Pius handed Lexa a drink and she nodded him her thanks before she thrust it in the air, shouting even louder to be heard right at the back of the hall. "Oso gid em op!"

 

"Gid em op!" the room cheered, repeating the Commander's words before turning back to cheer and excite each other some more.

 

The Commander knocked back her drink and then handed her cup to Pius before descending the steps from the platform and making a beeline directly for Clarke. Many people nodded toward Lexa and exchanged a few words with her as she made her way, to which Lexa gladly responded to each in kind.

 

Clarke hurriedly finished her drink and then looked at it with some surprise when she realised the cup was empty.

 

"Clarke," Lexa greeted when she finally managed to get to her.

 

Clarke smiled in return. "Commander."

 

Lexa adopted her regal stance once more, her hands again behind her back but her expression was somewhat more relaxed.

 

"Thank you for welcoming us," Clarke added, a little too much like an afterthought but she appreciated the Commander's words from the platform nonetheless.

 

Lexa nodded. "Skaikru are always welcome in Polis. I look forward to welcoming more of you once this threat is over."

 

Clarke was nodding now too and realised she was still holding her empty cup up and just to the side of her. She lowered it quickly and then weirdly became very aware that she didn't know what to do with it. "I'm sure my people will love that," she hurried out as an answer. "Thank you."

 

Lexa held onto Clarke's gaze and wanted nothing more than to spend the evening with her, eat dinner together and introduce her properly to all of her people in the room but she knew she could not. She swallowed as the thought gave her an uncomfortable feeling in her chest and then she noticed the empty cup. "You wish for another?" she asked as if she was happy she could fix this tiny, insignificant thing for Clarke seeing as she couldn't be in her company for much longer.

 

"Uhmm," Clarke started, but Lexa didn't give her chance to respond properly.

 

Lexa had already turned to one of her attendants. "Hon Klark noda souda in," she ordered, not firmly but not softly either. "En get klin em en Skaikru choj os op taim emo sad in."

 

The attendant scurried off with a bow of his head and then she turned back to Clarke.

 

"Thanks," Clarke said after a moment, and Lexa afforded her a small smile.

 

"You have not yet eaten?" Lexa asked, and the normalness of the conversation pulled at something inside Clarke's chest.

 

"No," Clarke replied, as softly as she could. It felt like there shouldn't be hundreds of people stood round them, then, and she could see that Lexa felt the same. "I was waiting for my people."

 

Lexa nodded. She looked over Clarke's shoulder toward the back of the hall. "I believe they are being held up by Jaikob and his delegation."

 

Clarke turned to see for herself and couldn't help but smile at them being cajoled into drinking and celebrating with the swarm of grounders around them.

 

Lexa was all of a sudden stood right at Clarke's shoulder. "Boudalan enjoy their wine a little too much," she whispered, her voice low and it sent a shiver shooting down Clarke's side and when she turned, the small smirk on Lexa's face made her tingle.

 

Clarke had to clear her throat, a little. "Perhaps I should rescue them, then," she said with a smile and then she lowered her voice as well. "I wouldn't want your people leading them astray."

 

Lexa smiled at her words but then her attendant was back and handing Clarke another cup of wine. She handed him her empty cup in return.

 

"Mochof," she said to him as Lexa took a noticeable step back.

 

"Pro," the attendant replied.

 

"Let him know when you wish to eat," Lexa said as her shoulders went back and her expression returned to one of indifference. "He will ensure you and your people eat well."

 

Clarke nodded, briefly. "Won't you be eating?"

 

Lexa blinked a few times as if she wasn't expecting the question. "Unfortunately not. I have something I must attend to."

 

 _Oh_ , Clarke wanted to say but she managed to hold it in. "Will you be back later?"

 

Again the Commander blinked. "Perhaps," she replied, knowing she probably wouldn't. "If there is time."

 

Clarke nodded as Lexa noticed the rest of Skaikru making their way over to their position. She focused back on Clarke, then. "I will leave you to the celebration, Clarke," she said with a tiny incline of her head, and Clarke nodded in response. "Have fun."

 

Clarke smiled but then the Commander was gone, weaving her way through the crowd expertly just as her people approached her.

 

"This party is nuts," Octavia said, stumbling over to Clarke as various grounders grabbed her arm and patted her shoulder. "What's the occasion?"

 

Kane and Bellamy came over too, the former very much enjoying their reception and the latter with a scowl on his face at the fuss.

 

"I think we are," Clarke replied, bringing her cup to her lips and taking a long sip.

 

"This is great!" Kane said as he leaned in, the noise in the room getting louder by the second. Then he looked around. "Where's the Commander? I thought I saw her over here."

 

"She had to go," Clarke answered, causing a disappointed look to cross his face. "She said she might be back later, though," she added quickly.

 

Kane leaned in further. "I wanted to talk to her about Polis," he smiled. "It's amazing! I have so many questions. You really need to see it."

 

"I know," Clarke shouted back. "Lexa said she'd give me a tour when this is all over." Kane gave her a look, then, which hinted that he knew something and all he could do was give her a small smile as he looked down into the space between them. Clarke had no idea why she'd decided to share that with him, but it was too late to take it back now so she just rolled her eyes.

 

"So what happened at the meeting?" Bellamy asked, wading in. His expression screamed of caution and discomfort.

 

Clarke shook her head. "I'll tell you later," she replied, gesturing around the room with her cup. "When we're out of here."

 

Bellamy sighed and was clearly irritated by her answer but he straightened himself up nonetheless and glared out at the crowd.

 

Clarke furrowed her brow and tapped Octavia on the shoulder, getting her to come closer. "What's wrong with him?" she asked, not taking her eyes away from Bellamy.

 

"Oh ignore him," Octavia dismissed, as if she'd spent the entire afternoon doing the very same thing. "He's wary of everything and doesn't trust anyone."

 

Clarke continued to frown. She knew it would take Bellamy a while to get used to working with Lexa again, but she'd hoped seeing Polis might make him see what kind of society they could forge from their alliance.

 

She raised her eyebrows. _Maybe not_.

 

Clarke sighed and then downed the rest of her drink. She noticed Luna looking in her direction from across the hall with such a passive expression on her face, it made the sting at the back of her throat from the wine even more intense. Clarke's mind was quick to wander, for possibly the twentieth time that afternoon what she and Lexa had discussed in the throne room after they threw her out. Well, maybe 'threw' was a little strong but that was what it felt like at the time.

 

Clarke momentarily screwed her face up before she forced herself to try and forget about it or at the very least, distract herself from it and then her gaze fell on the buffet tables. "Come on," she announced, gaining the attention of the other three. "Let's get something to eat."

 

**

 

It was late when Lexa left her council chambers and she was in half a mind to visit the banquet hall on the off chance that Clarke might still be there. It had certainly been a long day filled with politics and for the last few hours planning. Or rather plotting. Second guessing Nia's movements and intentions and deciding where was best to send her scouting parties.

 

She reached the elevator doors and waited, holding a hand out and against the stone at the doors edge so she could rest her weight upon it because as much as she didn't want to admit it, her leg was absolutely throbbing. An idle thought went to the fact Clarke had yet to check it since her offer in the throne room, which she supposed would be ample reason to seek her out. The prospect made her stand a little straighter and she was just far too tired to listen to the side of her mind that might protest. Lexa worked the leaver to call the lift and inhaled a long, deep breath, standing to attention now the lift was on its way.

 

The floor which was home to her council chambers and war planning rooms was two thirds of the way up the tower; scarcely guarded as there was little point and largely unbeknown to anyone other than her most trusted warriors and advisors. Her meeting had been with Titus, Dax and the clan leaders she trusted beyond repute. She had missed Indra's presence but that couldn't be helped and she looked forward to her arrival the following day. Luna of course had been present too, a little later on during proceedings before everyone departed to deliver the decided upon missions to their various scouts.

 

Now the day was truly at an end and Lexa was honestly so glad. She hoped for the day when there would be no threat of war. Where people like Nia would no longer exist and everyone could just get along peacefully. She held onto that thought for a moment before she scoffed at herself a little, and then glanced down at the ground shaking her head. What foolish ideas they really were to think there would be no further challenges for her throne. _'How romantic'_ Luna would tell her, and she often did in their past before they were big enough to hold swords and play fight. Lexa had always been the most idealistic, more prone to fantasies of no war and conflict. It had soon been trained out of her, however, especially under Anya's guidance although perhaps, she had just stopped saying it out loud. Perhaps even stopped thinking it.

 

When she first formed the Coalition and joined the clans together Lexa had grinned hard and wide at Luna when she asked her, _'Who is foolish now?'_ and Lexa smiled fondly at the memory. She sucked in another breath and sighed, letting herself become a little freer in that moment as she stood alone at the end of the hallway. "It seems I am foolish once again," she murmured flippantly, knowing that there would always be a time limit on any acquired peace.

 

It made her recall the conversation she had with Luna when they were alone in her throne room, when the Floukru leader had asked about Clarke. She perhaps asked one too many questions about Clarke during that discussion and the recollection made Lexa clench her jaw. _Clarke_.

 

Luna, Pius and the way they both regarded Clarke. The way Luna enquired about her and the way Pius surely would once given the opportunity. Clarke, Clarke, _Klark_. What was it about Wanheda that made the people close to Lexa so wary? And why was it that all of a sudden, somewhere between their second kiss in her tent and the medical room on the Ark everything, seemed always to end back with Clarke?

 

There was a heavy thud behind the doors in front of her and it made Lexa snap her head up, startled a little out of her musings and when the doors to the elevator pulled open, the Commander's eyes went wide.

 

"Clarke."

 

**

 

Lexa stepped onto the lift and nodded at Zeek who proceeded to close the doors behind her. She stood at the back next to Clarke while Zeek stood in front of them, staring at the doors and zoning out as best he could so he wouldn't be party to their conversation. Or at least that was his intention.

 

There was silence for a moment, as Clarke didn't at all expect to see Lexa again that night since she didn't come back to the hall but now that she was standing next to her, she didn't quite know what to say. More than anything she wished Zeek wasn't there.

 

"Have you only just finished your meeting?" Clarke asked as concern took over. A furrow took root in her brow as she swept her gaze over the Commander. She looked shattered, even though Clarke could tell she was trying to hide it.

 

"Yes," Lexa responded quietly, trying to keep their words as far as possible from Zeek's ears. "There was much to set in motion."

 

"Anything I need to know about?" It was out quickly before she could curb it and it made Lexa smile. Of course Clarke would what to know what was put in place, especially if it concerned her people. That passion was one of the things Lexa loved about her-

 

Lexa broke eye contact then, blaming her tiredness entirely for letting such thoughts into her mind. She ran her eyes along the outline of Zeek's back and for some reason, she stood a little straighter. "No," the Commander replied, and then she glanced back at Clarke. "Nothing that can't wait until tomorrow."

 

Clarke wanted to press her but knew Lexa wouldn't say anything in front of Zeek, not at this early stage and besides, if there was something that she needed to know she trusted Lexa would tell her so she simply nodded, and then took note of how the Commander was standing. Her eyes dropped to Lexa's thigh. "Your leg must be killing," she said without a second thought, turning to face Lexa side on.

 

Lexa was expecting it. "It is fine," she said with a breathy exhale as she practically felt the heat of Clarke's stare at the side of her head. Lexa tilted hers and glared at her in return.

 

Clarke rolled her eyes and relaxed her stance, turning back to the front of the lift. "The bandage will need changing," she sighed. "It's long overdue."

 

Lexa could feel the irritation coming from Clarke and she couldn't help it, it made her smile and she regarded her companion warmly, earning a smile from Clarke after a moment. Lexa's gaze lingered longer than it should and she absolutely wished for her sword to be somehow magically strapped to her hip so she could do something with her hands. She needed something to clasp her palm around and her dagger pressing against her thigh just didn't serve that purpose. She momentarily considered drumming her fingers against her legs instead but such a nervous gesture was hardly becoming of the Commander of the twelve clans so she just stood, a little too rigid and a little too stoic as she stared at Clarke's beautiful profile and that was when she knew why.

 

Her mind always brought things back to Clarke because Clarke was always the one constant thing occupying her thoughts. It didn't matter where she was or what she was doing; it was always just Clarke and right then, all the strong and powerful Commander of the twelve clans wanted to do was order Zeek from the lift so she could push Clarke up against the wall and kiss the air from her lungs.

 

"If you come back to my room I'll do it for you."

 

Lexa heard it in slow motion and it made her swallow, hard. Her thoughts had quickly travelled somewhere else and she silently praised all those hard years of intensive training, so her mind could actually put Clarke's sentence in context and tell her what the hell she was talking about. _Your bandage_ , _branwada_ , her mind told her. _She's talking about changing your bandage_.

 

Of course she was.

 

Lexa exhaled loudly as she made herself look at Zeek's back. His braids really were terrible and she was going to have tell him to sort them out, especially as his position seemed to be elevating by the day.

 

"Thank you," she said to Clarke, her voice quiet, clearly lost to the same place her thoughts had ventured.

 

Lexa inhaled a breath, forcing herself to remember who and where she was as she desperately tried to pull herself together. She was tired, and her mind was being lazy. Nothing more.

 

"So when do you think I'll be used to it?" Lexa heard Clarke ask after a moment or so, and she couldn't help the frown that covered her brow as she considered how maybe her training wasn't so useful after all.

 

She had no idea what Clarke was talking about so she quirked a brow to indicate so and the wide smile that graced Clarke's lips was reward enough for her confusion.

 

Clarke held back her chuckle. "Your rickety lift," she clarified. "You said I'd get used to it."

 

"Oh," Lexa breathed, hoping she didn't seem as flustered as she felt and then she shrugged, a little, a small smile finally finding her lips. She leaned in a little closer to Clarke, too. "It will perhaps take longer than a day."

 

The lift came to a stop so Zeek opened the doors and stepped out into the hallway of Clarke's floor. Lexa waited for Clarke to exit first and she wasn't far behind, all three of them beginning a slow pace along the marble floor.

 

"Hopefully not too much longer," Clarke sighed, continuing their conversation as she let herself shiver, just a bit, reaching a hand up to scratch at the back of her neck. "I'd hate to ride up in that thing alone."

 

Lexa grinned as she considered how many more of the clans would perhaps dissent if they knew the great Wanheda was scared of her tiny lift. Then she licked at her lips as she thought perhaps, that wasn't quite as funny as she first thought. "It is either that or climb," she said with a side of nonchalance. 

 

Clarke threw her a sideways glance. "I'm sure I'll get used to it."

 

Lexa heard something, a mild creaking up ahead and it made her pause. Her attention darting ahead of them and she immediately felt uneasy. Her hand automatically went out to Clarke's forearm, causing her to stop as her other hand went for her sword, grabbing the air where its hilt would've been.

 

"What is it?" Clarke asked, the smile on her lips fading quickly.

 

Lexa moved a step ahead of her. "There are no guards," she whispered, her eyes widening as the torch light from further down the hall faded into nothingness and suddenly she was overcome by a such sense of dread, her eyes going wide as she tried to pick out the shapes of people she thought she saw ahead.

 

Immediately there was a certain eeriness to the silence, a distinct chill that filled the air and then Lexa saw it, a flash of light as something came hurtling towards them.

 

Zeek hit the deck first, a sound of anguish coming from him as something impacted his shoulder. He fell sideways into the wall as Lexa caught sight of something else, a hint of metal whirling in her direction.

 

She turned before Clarke could even tell she moved, grabbing her shoulders as she spun them to the ground, Clarke's back thudding against the marble as Lexa landed on top of her. "Stay low," Lexa murmured, and then Clarke was missing the weight of the Commander's body as she was up again in an instant, grabbing the blade that had hit the elevator doors and then clattered against the floor.

 

Lexa launched the blade in the direction it came from before she pushed her back flat against the corridor wall, pulling her dagger from its sheath as her mind ran through countless scenarios of what the hell was happening, and how the hell they could possibly survive it given their position.

 

No one was coming to their aid in the time it would take whoever was up there to kill them, and without knowing numbers it was pretty much her against an army, especially with Zeek on the ground.

 

Suddenly though, in the time it took Lexa to turn her head Zeek was on his feet and throwing himself down the hall before she could stop him, racing into the darkness ahead with a ferocious battle cry.

 

"Zeek!" Lexa called after him, reaching up for the torch that bathed herself and Clarke in light so she could quickly douse it against the wall to give them a little camouflage. Zeek continued on, disappearing before Lexa's eyes so she crouched down to the floor and tried to listen as best she could to what was unfolding.

 

Clarke was panicking, only just reaching for her gun before she remembered it wasn't there. There was still some light just up ahead, from the position that Zeek sprang from but aside from that the hallway was dark. "Lexa?" Clarke whispered as she turned to her, confused as the Commander looked relatively calm with her daggers blade stretching down the length of her forearm as she grasped the hilt in her fist, her eyes closed in concentration.

 

"Stay quiet, Clarke," Lexa whispered, her breathing even as her mind continued to work.

 

There were noises up ahead as Zeek engaged whoever he discovered, loud grunts and gasps as fists clearly met skin and bone. Clarke was just about to say something more when someone came running at them; a large and bulky warrior with distinctive blue marks down his face with his sword raised and death vibrant in his eyes. He shouted as he saw them and that's when Lexa snarled. Her eyes opening as she turned to him, a simple flick of her wrist as she rose to her feet was all it took to send her dagger hurling at his chest.

 

It struck him within a moment and then Lexa ran for him, her own battle cry loud and piercing as his back hit the floor with a thud. It wasn't over though, as Clarke pressed her back against the wall and tried to blend into it as much as she could. There were others coming, running for Lexa as she ran for them and just as Clarke thought they were done for, Lexa ducked to the side as something shot past her head and once again struck the elevator doors. It was another blade and Clarke swallowed thickly, her breaths erratic as she looked at Lexa who was now armed with the fallen warriors sword, parrying and advancing upon two more warriors with blue marks on their faces. They were twice her size in both height and width but the Commander seemed to dance around them, easily dodging their attacks and striking them with just as much ferocity as they did her.

 

Clarke for the first time was able to take a breath. She looked at the blade by her feet and she wanted to do something. She wanted to help so she stole another glance down the hall and clenched her jaw as one of the warriors fists impacted Lexa's side. She was winded only for a moment before she ducked under another swing and then took his feet out from beneath him, slicing at the other warrior's side with her sword which made him stumble backwards so she could finish off the first with her blade in his chest. With each blow her cries were triumphant, much like the sounds from the other end of the hall which sounded a lot like Zeek, or at least that's what Clarke hoped. She saw Lexa swoop down for the fallen warrior's blade and then she twirled both weapons in her hands before she went full throttle at the other warrior, not phased even in the least as another one emerged from the darkness and came for her.

 

She took the first one down easily with her sword to his throat. "Zeek!" she called into the darkness. "Hani?"

 

There was nothing but grunts coming from the opposite end of the hall until finally Zeek responded. "Ai nou na ai op, Hed-" he said, his breathing ragged before he was cut off by a resounding thump.

"I cannot see, Hed-"

 

Lexa finished off the other warrior in a moment, her eyes startled and fearful for Zeek before she shouted once more and then barrelled off into the darkness.

 

Clarke was quickly worried, not being able to see anything further than a few feet in front of her and the noises coming from up ahead were terrifying. She swallowed thickly and with little other option, she grabbed the blade from her feet and slowly stood up.

 

She turned to face the darkened hallway but before she could take a step she heard Lexa's voice breathlessly coming toward her.

 

"Klark!" she shouted, and then there was a grunt and the clash of metal on metal. "The lever!" Another clash. "Pull it!"

 

Clarke furrowed her brow, holding the dagger out to her side. "What?" she sent into the darkness.

 

A barrage of thumps and clashes and yells followed before the sickening sound of metal slicing flesh flooded the hallway. Clarke cringed and then she waited.

 

"By the doors!" Came Lexa's voice again. "Pull it!"

 

As relieved as she was to hear Lexa's voice Clarke made herself spin around, searching the only set of doors near her for a lever. She _hated_ levers but she approached the lift, spying a metal lever that protruded from the wall. Without any hesitation Clarke reached out and pulled it, hearing a faint and far away sounding noise that made her assume she'd done the right thing.

 

She turned around with a satisfied but still very nervous nod and was immediately confronted by a warrior running towards her. Clarke pushed her back up against the elevator doors and braced herself, waiting for the blow that would surely end her when the warrior stopped dead just in front of her, his eyes wide as he sunk to his knees and fell lifelessly to the floor. Clarke sucked in a breath and glanced down at him, a dagger imbedded deep in the back of his head and then she looked up to find Lexa staring at her, a small smile on her lips as her chest rose and fell with pure exertion, a good portion of her body covered in blood and a sword clasped loosely in her hand.

 

It was barely half a second later when Clarke's face dropped, a warrior grabbing the Commander from behind and pushing her face first into the wall. Clarke gasped as her heart plummeted, running at him without a second thought with her dagger raised but then the warrior shoved Lexa to the floor, reaching out for her with one hand and grabbing Clarke around the throat. Her dagger dropped to the floor as she brought her hands up to grab around his wrist, gasping and fighting for air as she felt her feet leaving the floor.

 

"Kom yu wamplei Wanheda, Azplana na get wimplei in," the warrior muttered, squeezing her throat tighter and making her splutter.

 

Clarke's eyes were clamped shut, her nails digging into his skin as she kicked out as much as she could but to no affect.

 

Suddenly there was a reprieve. His grip loosed as Lexa jumped on him, grabbing him around the neck and pulling him backwards so he was forced to let Clarke go. She slumped to the floor as her own hands went to her throat, sucking in breath after breath as her head rushed with the sudden sensation of _air_.

 

Lexa was growling, her lips snarling as her teeth clenched and she pulled the warrior down, making him stumble backwards and down onto one knee and as soon as she was able to brace both her feet on the floor, her forearms moved in opposite directions and the warrior's neck snapped.

 

Lexa let a dominant cry filter throughout the hallway as she did it and then there was nothing but silence, just the sounds of the Commander's heaving chest as she breathed powerfully, standing there as she glared down at the motionless warrior.

 

After what felt like an age but in reality was no longer than a few moments Lexa's gaze fell on Clarke and her demeanour changed entirely. She dropped to her knees in front of her, one of them placed between Clarke's legs so she could hover over her, her gaze moving a million miles a second to assess her body for injuries. The only ones she could find, though, were the ones busy bruising the skin around Clarke's neck and so Lexa reached forwards tentatively, gently tracing her fingertips her jaw and the sides of her neck.

 

"Are you okay?" Lexa whispered, her eyes full of worry and her body braced in concern.

 

Clarke's lungs were still working overtime in order to suck in enough oxygen to keep her conscious, her shoulders slumping though in absolute relief because somehow, they had managed to stay alive. Her eyes met Lexa's and she relaxed even more, her hands clasping loosely around the back of Lexa's arms and she used them to ground herself. To make sure Lexa was really there, to feel her still alive and breathing in front of her.

 

When Clarke was satisfied she was real she nodded her head. "Yeah," she breathed, and her throat hurt a little as she spoke.

 

Lexa heard the croak and it worried her, her eyes somehow managing to widen even more than they were already. She pressed her thumbs into Clarke's jaw even harder. "Can you breathe?" she asked, even though it was obvious that she could.

 

Clarke smiled weakly at the question and just nodded her response.

 

It didn't seem good enough for Lexa, though. Her eyes searched Clarke's face and she somehow shimmied a little closer, her tongue darting out to moisten her lips.

 

"Can you see okay?" the Commander worried, and then she blinked a few times. "How is your head?"

 

Clarke swallowed and it hurt but she tried not to let it show. Having Lexa fuss over her like this was warming despite the trauma of what just happened. "I'm okay, Lexa," Clarke replied, sitting up a little straighter against the wall. The Commander helped her as her hands found Clarke's waist and then Clarke regarded the blood that coated Lexa's clothing. It made her frown. "I should be asking after you-"

 

Lexa cut her off with a swift shake of her head. "It isn't mine," she replied knowing exactly what Clarke would be referring to. The Commander then glanced along the hall. "Zeek?" she shouted, to which an answering fumble could be heard and then the young warrior appeared from the darkness, even more covered in blood than Lexa was and sporting quite a few bruises on his visible skin.

 

Clarke hated to think what the marks beneath his clothes would look like.

 

"They are dead, Heda," he reported, his right arm bent and covering his ribs.

 

There was a moment before Lexa responded. "You are certain?"

 

Zeek swallowed and nodded. "Yes."

 

The doors to the elevator opened and Dax, Pius and three guards stepped from it, Pius stopping dead in his tracks as he looked along the hall in astonishment. The others were equally shocked but then Dax stepped forward, his mind reeling from the dead bodies he could see lining the floor and then his attention settled on the three who were moving.

 

"Heda," Dax whispered, and as Lexa stood with one last, lingering look at Clarke he sprinted toward her, sheathing his sword as he came to an abrupt stop a few feet from her. His face was covered in concern and he automatically felt shame, an overwhelming sense of failure at allowing such a thing to happen. His eyes scoured every inch of Lexa's body. "Are you hurt?"

 

"No," Lexa responded firmly, her frame quickly squared and her back straight and once more every inch of the Commander she was. She was working hard to keep her temper in check, much harder than usual as this was an utter outrage. Warriors from her own coalition attacking her in Polis Tower, in her own home and to attack Clarke... Lexa's blood boiled, her hands balling into fists at her sides. This was planned and it absolutely reeked of Nia.

 

"Heda," Pius called from where he stood over one of the bodies, the look on his face one of utter disgust. "These are Ouskejou Kru."

 

Lexa clenched her jaw, the fury bubbling in her chest impossible to ignore. "I know," she snarled bitterly and dangerously, her mind racing with the millions of ways she would kill Nia and revel in her death.

 

Pius was angry, too, much as everyone else was. Absolutely furious that such a thing was even attempted, yet alone almost a success. "Get klin emo ste daun!" he ordered the guards, taking a few hurried strides along the hall. There was no way he wanted more of these traitors appearing and attempting round two. "Lufa ogeda wogeda au, get klin der bilaik no mou."

 

"They are all dead," Zeek offered after a moment from where he stood against the wall, a little black and fairly blue. "I made certain of it."

 

Dax stepped over to Zeek and took stock of his various injuries, Zeek immediately mirroring Dax's demeanour with his shoulders back and his chin raised, the thing every warrior was instructed to do when being appraised by the general of the Coalition's army. After a moment or so Dax simply nodded his head as his chest filled with uncontained pride. It was anyone's guess what would've happened if Zeek hadn't of been there so Dax reached up and patted him on the side of his neck a few times, breathing a deep sigh of relief. "Os goufa," he murmured, thankful beyond belief that the young warrior was alive to tell the tale. Jael would be as proud as anyone when he found out, that Dax was sure of. "Kei don."

 

Pius though, was quickly at fuming at his every edge. "How did this happen?" he forced out into the darkness of the hallway, pointing after his words as they floated away. "Light those torches."

 

Dax turned to face him. "There are hundreds of people below us, from every clan," he started as his hands found his hips. "They must have come here during the banquet."

 

Pius was not appeased and he grumbled loudly. "Where are the guards?"

 

A guard emerged from a doorway, then, a third of the way up the hall. The look on his face unreadable. "Emo ste hir," he said lowly. "Stedaun."

 

Lexa sighed as her chest clenched, the idea of her dead guards only making her think of the amount of deaths that would surely come. She looked back down at Clarke who remained sat against the wall, still exceptionally concerned with the marks that coloured her neck. She crouched down again but was careful this time not to touch her, her eyes narrowing to examine the marks once more.

 

The Commander was a contradiction then, Clarke thought. Her eyes like fire but her expression full of care.

 

"If their intention was to kill Heda," Dax pondered aloud, glancing along the hallway and then turning to face his audience. "They would not have waited on this floor."

 

"They were after me," Clarke concluded, although she already knew as much. Her eyes remained on Lexa as she inhaled a shaky breath. "This was to kill me," and then she watched as Lexa's jaw visibly rippled beneath her skin.

 

"It does not matter," Pius said out after a moment, his hands all kinds of animated in the air and his voice still raised. "This is still a treacherous act-"

 

"-I know, Pius," Lexa interrupted, her voice a low rumble as she stood once more.

 

Pius sighed. "We must-"

 

"-I know!" she cut him off again, her breaths coming in huge gulps now and she took a purposeful step back from Clarke who then also rose to her feet. "Fetch Clarke a healer!" Lexa ordered no one in particular.

 

"Lexa, I'm fine," Clarke replied, not needing any fuss seeing as she was okay.

 

Lexa's brow furrowed and then regardless of who was present, she reached forward again. "I do not like these marks."

 

Clarke sucked in a breath not being able to deny the pain they caused even when touched lightly. "They'll fade."

 

Lexa gave her a look that demanded obedience before she softened it, a bit, and Clarke simply gave in. Lexa turned her head. "Pius..."

 

"Hod fisa nau in," Pius instructed the nearest guard.

 

The Commander nodded her head once and knowing that Clarke was going to be attended to she knew there was nothing else stopping her from doing what she must. Her eyes clouded over in pure fury and she spun on her heel, commanding the attention of Dax and the one guard who was still present in the hallway without even uttering a word. "Sis em gon ain wogeda op, ron em ten gona!" she ordered in a firm and dominant tone. She wanted as many guards as they could spare on Clarke at all times, and there was absolutely no way she would allow her to be alone tonight. She wanted her where she could see her. "Non gon ban em op! Zeek!"

 

Zeek was suddenly at her side. "Sha, Heda?"

 

Lexa eyed him quickly and if she was anyone but the Commander she would've hugged him, there and then. She had no idea how she would repay him for his bravery. "Yu don throu daun os, gon otaim."

 

Zeek would do it again in a heartbeat, he knew, it was his purpose after all. "En's ai dula, Heda." Though he did know he was lucky to be alive. More than anything though he was immensely proud and excited at having fought alongside the Commander, and honestly couldn't wait to tell his friends all about it.

 

Lexa nodded minutely at his modest words; another reason why she was so proud of him. "Ste yu laksen?" she asked, glancing over his mildly beaten form.

 

"No Heda."

 

She didn't believe him for a second so she reverted back to English so Clarke would understand and ensure the healer checked him out, too. "When the healer arrives, he will see to you too." Zeek wanted to protest but he daren't so he just remained quiet. Lexa looked again at Clarke. "Em kamp raun," she instructed Zeek, "nou dula ban em op."

 

"Ai na nou, Heda." He didn't need to be told again but now he knew more than ever that Clarke was in danger.

 

Her eyes softened then, for just a moment and she lowered her voice so no one else would hear, nodding once more at her young warrior. "Mochof," she whispered, and Zeek was almost taken aback.

 

He wasn't sure how to respond, not quite understanding why Heda was thanking him for simply doing his duty but the sentiment touched him nevertheless. He swallowed as he nodded and then Lexa stormed off toward the elevator.

 

"Pius!" she commanded. "Dax!"

 

They both fell in line behind her and when the elevator doors opened, more guards stepped out onto the floor.

 

"Ban bosh medo-de we. Shil veida-of op," Dax shouted at them as the three of them stepped onto the lift.

 

Clarke wanted to call after Lexa, to ask her what she was about to do but before she could the Commander caught her eye and with a swift, reassuring nod the doors snapped shut and she was gone.

 

Clarke sighed as she glanced sideways at Zeek, carefully running her fingertips over the marks that littered her neck. It made her wince and her forehead scrunched up in pain. "So now what?" she asked her ever present guard, who looked ten time worse than she felt.

 

"Now we go to Heda's room and wait for the healer."

 

**

 

The elevator ride lasted a lifetime for Lexa. She was buzzing; absolutely furious and it only got worse with each floor they descended past. The clear audacity of Nia to try such a thing; to try and kill Clarke in Lexa's own home, the sacred Tower of Polis that was an influential landmark to every grounder. Polis had always been safe; not one war breaching its walls for the past four Commander's and for an assassination on anyone to be attempted, right under Lexa's nose, on the floor below her own bedroom was an outrage of the worst kind.

 

Nia knew what she was doing when she sanctioned this. She knew it would force Lexa's hand and Lexa was happy to take it to her. A war that would end her once and for all.

 

Dax was just as furious as his Commander, never had such a thing been tried before. It was scandalous, and posed a lot of questions for security within the Tower and about who exactly should be allowed inside in the future but really, someone had to pay for this crime. For disturbing the sanctity of the Tower and what the building signified in their culture. A lot of people would need to pay and Dax was certain his Commander would ensure it. She would no doubt deliver each punishment herself and he could practically feel the rage radiating from her. He sensed she was about to unleash havoc and Dax couldn't wait for it.

 

The lift came to a stop and Dax heaved open the doors, Lexa stepping from within and then striding into the banquet hall with little regard for anyone or anything else. More guards got inside the lift once they were out of it and even more followed the procession lead by the Commander and into the hall.

 

"What's going on?" Kane inquired up as he stepped forward, Lexa barging by him without a second thought. All he could do was watch but then Dax stopped, pulling him to the side as Bellamy and Octavia joined them.

 

"Where's Clarke?" Bellamy asked quickly, just as Dax was about to speak.

 

Dax lowered his voice so no one else in the room would overhear. "Heda and Clarke were attacked on an upper floor of the tower."

 

"What?" Bellamy interjected, his forehead furrowing immediately. "Is she okay?"

 

Dax shook his head. "Clarke's fine."

 

"Attacked how?" Kane asked, concern flooding his body. He could only imagine what Abby would do to him if Clarke was harmed while he was supposed to be with her. "By who?"

 

Dax noticed Lexa climbing the platform steps over Kane's shoulder and knew he needed to be by her side. "I have to join the Commander," he said firmly, taking a step away. "Listen to what she has to say."

 

"What about Clarke?" Bellamy asked, reaching out for Dax's forearm to stop him from moving any further. "I want to see her."

 

Dax sighed, kind of wishing he hadn't stopped in the first place. He looked toward the lift and beckoned for a guard moving toward it to stop. "Boden, sis emo gon Heda wogeda op." Boden nodded and stood to attention as Dax looked back at Bellamy. "This guard will take you."

 

Bellamy nodded as Dax sprinted toward the platform. "You coming?" he asked as Kane stared after Dax.

 

"You two go," Kane responded. "I need to hear this." Bellamy nodded but before he could walk away Kane carried on speaking. "Make sure Clarke's okay, find out what happened."

 

"On it," Bellamy said and then he and Octavia followed Boden into the lift as Kane took a few steps further inside the hall.

 

**

 

Lexa stared at Dax as he ascended the steps a good few minutes after everyone else and at her disapproving glare he just nodded and took his place behind and to the side of her.

 

"Kru kom kongeda," Pius began, stepping to the front of the podium. "Hosh gon Heda."

 

Lexa had been scouring the crowd ever since she entered the hall. In the few minutes while she was waiting for Dax she had realised the entire Azgeda, Ouskejou Kru and Delfikru delegations had gone from the hall. It made her seethe all over again. _Cowards_ , she growled in her mind.

 

Lexa stepped forward quickly, her chin raised and her eyes burning with anger and fury. "There has been an attack within the tower," she announced to startled and surprised gasps that flooded the hall. Lexa raised her voice exponentially, the image of that warrior strangling Clarke at the forefront of her mind. "The monument of our Capital City, the sacred home of the Commander now tainted by this malicious, venomous act." Murmurs began to echo around the hall and several leaders of the remaining clans within the hall stepped forward, Lexa's eyes immediately catching Luna's that were full of shock and worry. Regardless, Lexa pressed on. "This attack was a treacherous one as it came from within. The warriors of one of our sworn clans now lie _dead_ above us, killed before they could achieve their aim."

 

"What was the aim, Heda?" Azizi shouted from the side of the hall. "Who was their target?"

 

Lexa clenched her jaw at the question and it took all her will power not to snap at him. The question was fair, though, and so Lexa relaxed her expression at him. "The Coalition," she responded, after a moment. "Me."

 

Murmurs turned into roars of disgust and outrage as the people before her became uneasy and irate. Angry that such a thing should happen within Polis, and would be directed at their Commander.

 

Lexa felt a sense of pride at their reactions and a small smile adorned her lips. She let their anger and frustration fill her chest and flood her senses once more.

 

"Who, Heda?" Luna asked, stepping right to the front of the crowd. She bore her teeth with the rage that was sweeping through the hall. "Which clan?"

 

Lexa sucked in a deep breath and after a moment of sharing Luna's gaze she regarded the rest of the room, all quietening down to a dull hush wanting to hear the answer. "Ouskejou Kru," and the murmurs started up once more. Again Lexa raised her voice, her chest aching with the heat bubbling underneath her ribs. "They stand with Azgeda, as do Delfikru." Her voice was low and it rumbled as she continued. "This will _not_ stand. The time for patience has passed and this attack is a clear act of _war_."

 

The murmurs got louder as everyone was quick to fall in line behind their Heda and in defence of their Capital City.

 

"Anyone loyal to Nia take this message to her; tomorrow is the first day of war and when it is done she will no longer know life, and nor will those who support her."

 

The murmurs turned to cheers as fists pumped the air.

 

"Any attack on Polis is an attack on us all, and I will not stop until she has paid with her life."

 

**

 

"Clarke!" Octavia breathed as she barged into the Commander's room and jogged toward her, throwing her arms around Clarke's neck when she reached her. "Thank God."

 

Clarke gripped onto Octavia's arms and squeezed them as she winced in pain, making Octavia pull away immediately.

 

She frowned at Clarke's neck. "Jesus," she breathed, her eyes widening a little.

 

Clarke stepped out of the embrace. "It's not as bad as it looks."

 

Octavia's eyes widened even more. "Are you kidding? Clarke you've been strangled."

 

Clarke just sighed, glancing up as Bellamy came over and honestly she wished she was anywhere but there.

 

Bellamy's attention moved from Zeek who was across the room getting treated to Clarke and he just stared at her neck, for a good few moments. "What the hell happened?" he eventually asked, and it made Clarke lick her lips. He went to reach out for her but thought better of it. He really wished he had his gun.

 

Clarke prepared herself for an onslaught. "Some warriors stormed the floor, waited for Lexa and I to arrive and then attacked us."

 

"Oh my God," Octavia gasped, sounding a little mortified.

 

"What warriors?" Bellamy demanded, his tone firm and rigid.

 

"Ouskejou Kru," Clarke replied but Bellamy just stared at her blankly.

 

"Blue Cliff Clan," Octavia clarified, turning back to Clarke. "How did you survive?"

 

Clarke glanced over to Zeek. "It was Lexa and Zeek." She turned back, raising her eyebrows. "I've no idea how they did it, there must've been..." she tried to count in her head. "...Ten of them at least. They took them all out," and then she shook her head. "It happened so fast-"

 

"-Not before one got the better of you though," Bellamy interrupted, pointing at her neck.

 

Clarke squared on him. "Lexa and Zeek came out of it much worse."

 

Bellamy glanced at the ceiling, for a moment. "So what is _she_ doing? Is she going to retaliate?"

 

Clarke glared at him, annoyed at his refusal to use Lexa's title, or even her name. "You remember what I told you earlier? Azgeda was behind this, Nia's behind both dissenting clans."

 

"I don't see why they were allowed in here if she knew they were on Azgeda's side." Bellamy shook his head. "I saw Azgeda down there, why are they even here?"

 

Clarke sighed. "That's not how it works, Bellamy," she started, feeling really too tired to be going into this now.

 

"It was a meeting, Bell," Octavia cut in much to Clarke's relief. "Don't think grounder politics are the same as ours. It's different."

 

"Yeah well," he shrugged. "Sounds stupid to me."

 

"Keep your voice down," Clarke said quickly, glancing around just in case Zeek or the healer heard. Thankfully all of the guards were outside the door and lining the hallway. "Nia hasn't declared war so Azgeda are still part of the Coalition," she carried on in a hushed voice.

 

"So?"

 

Clarke rolled her eyes.

 

"The Commander can't outcast a clan from the Coalition and attack them," Octavia said as if it were obvious. "Especially with no reason. The Coalition protects the clans."

 

"Well she has reason now," Bellamy responded flatly.

 

"The _Commander_ ," Clarke emphasised, glaring at him pointedly, "has plenty of reason now." She looked at Octavia. "I think that's what she's doing downstairs."

 

Octavia fidgeted where she stood. "What? Declaring war?" and then she paused for a moment. "Makes sense," she agreed with a tilt of her head.

 

"Clarke," Bellamy sighed, taking a step closer to her. "It's not safe here, and it doesn't sound like it's going to get any safer." He stared at her, then, and let the expression in his eyes soften. "We need to go home," he said as he looked at Octavia. "This has nothing to do with us."

 

"Of course it does," Clarke snapped.

 

"How?" Bellamy shot back. "This war is between the grounders, not us."

 

Octavia rolled her eyes. "We _are_ grounders now, Bell."

 

Bellamy glared at her. "We're not."

 

Octavia grit her teeth. "Yes we are."

 

He took a step toward his sister. "At least at Camp Jaha we can protect ourselves. Here we're sitting ducks-"

 

"-Here we are under Lexa's protection," Clarke cut him off.

 

"And look what good that's done," he said, nodding his head at Clarke's neck. "Clarke, you are in danger here. If we go home you'll be safe."

 

"For how long, Bellamy?" Octavia asked, and Clarke was so glad she was on her side of this. She knew Octavia didn't completely trust Lexa again yet, but at least she could see supporting the Coalition was the best thing to do. "Azgeda came here for Clarke, you don't think they'll try Camp Jaha? And what army do we have?"

 

Bellamy clenched his jaw. "We have soldiers."

 

Octavia shook her head. "Not as many as Azgeda, and they have the armies of two other clans if what Clarke said is true."

 

Clarke stared at Bellamy with heavy intent. "We're no match for them on our own, you know that."

 

Bellamy sighed. "So what do you want us to do? Follow Lexa into _her_ war? Tell our people to die for her?"

 

"No," Clarke retaliated, her voice getting slightly louder. She took a step into his personal space. "For us. For each other. So we can finally have peace."

 

Bellamy scoffed. "And you think we'll have that, after this war?"

 

Clarke exhaled and her hard expression dissolved with it. "Yes," she whispered, like she absolutely couldn't wait for it to be a reality. "They have an entire civilisation, Bell, you've seen Polis, its prospering. They know how to live down here, we don't. Lexa is offering us friendship and we'd be stupid to refuse it. Inside the Coalition we will have peace, outside of it and we're vulnerable to everyone."

 

Bellamy shook his head. He just couldn't believe Clarke would trust Lexa again so easily, just like that. "So that's what you want? To join the Coalition?"

 

Clarke blinked a few times, not quite realising that's what she said. She was so tired she could barely stand but maybe that was what she wanted. Maybe that was the answer to everything. Octavia was staring at her too, now, so Clarke just sighed and then she answered. "That's something for us to decide after the war."

 

"Well at least you've acknowledged there is an 'us', not just a 'you'."

 

"Bell," Octavia murmured.

 

"Of course it won't be my decision." Clarke did understand that, she knew it would be up to the council but she knew there would be no guarantee of peace without some kind of alliance with Lexa. She frowned at Bellamy, still not believing his short-sightedness. "You've seen this city more than I have, you've had a taste of how they live," and then she shook her head. "Don't you want that for us?"

 

Bellamy sighed, very aware he was letting his personal distaste for Lexa cloud his judgement but it was a no brainer, to him. The Commander couldn't be trusted so he wasn't prepared to entrust the lives of their people yet again to her, and he certainly wasn't prepared to follow and fight for her. He grumbled under his breath as he leaned in to Clarke. "We can't trust her," he sneered, and that really did make Clarke roll her eyes.

 

She didn't know what to say as she was rapidly running out of words and patience to try and make him see. "You need to get over it, Bellamy," she sneered at him back.

 

"Oh like you have?" he scoffed.

 

"Yes!" Clarke responded and it was automatic. Out before she could even think about it properly and they all just stood there, letting it sink in. Clarke was surprised, and her brow furrowed a bit but then she ploughed on, not wanting to analyse it in front of the Blake's. She looked up and glared at Bellamy. "And if I can, so can you. This is our future, Bellamy, the future I want to give our people," and then she narrowed her eyes, a little. "Why don't you?"

 

**

 

Clarke collapsed onto the sofa; finally alone, finally able to take a deep breath and breathe. She closed her eyes as she stretched out her hands on the cushions either side of her, absently digging her fingertips into the soft material.

 

She was almost strangled today. Well, she _was_ strangled. What if Lexa hadn't of been there? Would Zeek be dead now? Would she?

 

Her eyes opened as she sucked in a sharp breath, leaning forwards quickly as her elbows found out her knees, her face pushing into her palms.

 

Was it worth it, all this? She had hardly been back five minutes and there were already people trying to kill her, and they were storming a tower to do it. Or that was at least the way it felt.

 

Would Nia be attacking Lexa if Clarke hadn't done what she did inside the Mountain? She raised her eyebrows at her own question. Would she have done what she did inside the Mountain if Lexa hadn't left her there?

 

She got up and began to pace, then.

 

There was no point thinking like that. It was done, and now here they were. Clarke was once again trying to protect her people, and Lexa was doing the same. It was just another day on the ground but hopefully, this time, when the war was done they could find some sort of normalcy, whatever that was on the ground.

 

Hopefully they could live, rather than just survive and like it or not, Lexa was helping her to remember what that felt like, to have that ideal and aim toward it. She thought back to what Lexa told her, way back when she was a prisoner in that cell. It was the moments that mattered, that made it worth it. The moments with the people that you cared about.

 

The number of moments with her people were few and far between, Clarke was realising. She cared for them of course and felt an unrelenting need to ensure their survival but really, all she could remember was them telling her she wasn't good enough. That her decisions were the wrong ones and that her actions caused others pain. In fact since landing on the ground she could barely remember a time when her people offered her praise. Thanked her, or even remotely encouraged her so what kind of moments were those to live for?

 

Was it _really_ all worth it?

 

Clarke heard the door open and Lexa walked in, her coat open revealing her low cut black tank top beneath. She pushed the door closed as she froze in place, mid-exhale as she stared at Clarke, her eyes wide and vulnerable and such an open expression on her face it made Clarke's heart ache. Somehow she looked tiny, then, the weight of her title dripping away and hanging back in the openness of her coat like she was ready to shed it, just then, and hang it all up for the rest of the evening along with her coat.

 

Clarke moistened her lips and swallowed. _Maybe it was_ , she thought and after a few moments of holding Lexa's gaze Clarke got to her feet and closed the distance, Lexa taking a few steps forward too and when they met they wrapped each other up in a back breaking, coma inducing hug that they both simultaneously sank into, regardless of whatever the hell it meant.

 

"I'm sorry," Lexa murmured into Clarke's neck after she breathed in a good couple of lung-fulls of her scent, her neck bent to its limit so she could press her face into Clarke's skin.

 

"It's not your fault," Clarke sighed, her chin firmly tucked over the Commander's shoulder. "If it wasn't for you I'd be dead."

 

Lexa clamped her eyes shut, a lump that felt the size of a boulder materialising and scratching at the inside of her throat. "Do not say that," she breathed, a shiver running through her at the prospect.

 

The thing was it felt like it was Lexa's fault. It was her tower, her home. Her city. It shouldn't have happened; Lexa should've know the risks. Of what Nia might do if it seemed she wouldn't be able to get Wanheda on her side. Lexa just squeezed her harder and allowed herself the comfort of Clarke's arms, even though she didn't think for a moment she deserved it.

 

It took a while but eventually, Lexa slowly pulled back and held Clarke's face in her hands, the furrow set thickly in her brow as she first stared forlornly into those beautiful blue eyes and then she took her attention again to the marks on her neck. Lexa lowered her hands to Clarke's collar bones as she examined them, Clarke's hands dropping to Lexa's waist.

 

Lexa was magnetic when she was like this, her level of softness almost as intimidating as when she commanded a room full of people, but obviously in a _very_ different way. Clarke felt herself captivated, drawn in so completely by Lexa's gentle touch and adoring expression and she honestly thought she could live quite happily, with only the Commander's touch and lips as sustenance.

 

Clarke breathed in deeply and ran her hands around to Lexa's stomach, applying the faintest amount of pressure so she could take a tiny step back. "How are you?" she asked quietly as Lexa's hands fell from her shoulders and lightly grasped her upper arms just above her elbows. "Zeek took quite a beating."

 

Lexa sensed Clarke was feeling overwhelmed so she too took a small step backwards, looking down at the space between them that had suddenly took Clarke's attention. "I am fine," she whispered, a tiny smile forming at the corner of her lips.

 

Clarke looked up at her, then, a little bit of humour hiding in her tone. "You always say that." She took a proper step back this time to get a good look at her.

 

Lexa tilted her head. "That's because it is true."

 

Clarke smiled as she ran a hand through her hair. "I suppose your leg is fine too?"

 

Her leg actually, was killing her but she wasn't about to say that. She felt the smile playing on her lips and she battled to keep it from emerging properly, having more and more trouble with it the amount Clarke smiled in return.

 

"Okay, Heda," Clarke began, turning after she pointed at the bed. "Take your pants off and sit."

 

Suddenly all the Commander's confidence and poise fled from her like her people from a pauna in mating season. She licked her lips and then swallowed, and then licked her lips again.

 

Clarke was busying herself at the table in front of the sofa. "I had your healer leave some supplies here so I could do a proper job with your wound."

 

Lexa just stood there awkwardly feeling exactly like a goufa on their first date, her hands moving if she wasn't mistaken quite shakily to the belt around her hips.

 

"And take your coat off too," Clarke added, without turning around.

 

Lexa froze again and then she shook her head. This was stupid; Clarke had seen her with her pants off before, right? And anyway, this wasn't a thing. This was Clarke dressing her injured leg and so Lexa pushed out a breath at her childlike behaviour and then headed for the bed, unbuckling her belt before she took her coat off, draping it over the end of the bed.

 

Lexa couldn't help herself, though, regardless of how many times her handmaidens had seen her naked. She still felt a bit nervous because Clarke wasn't a handmaiden, Clarke was... well, she was Clarke and Lexa had never been _alone_ with Clarke in her bedroom before. With her pants off, no less, so quickly Lexa coughed and pulled on her Heda stoicism before she pushed down her pants and sat on the edge of the bed.

 

Clarke was still tinkering with things on the table so Lexa sighed, absently rubbing at the darkened bandage that was around her thigh. She then decided to pull her boots off and take her pants off properly, if only for something to do with her hands and as she saw Clarke approaching her, she folded her pants neatly and placed them at the foot of the bed.

 

Clarke arrived with her hands full of cloths, bottles and a new bandage over her shoulder. She knelt in front of Lexa's legs without managing to look at her, her attention firmly on the things in her hands as she placed them on the floor next to her.

 

Clarke pulled in a breath and with a slight flush to her cheeks she reached up and started unwrapping the bandage from Lexa's leg. The tension evaporating a little as Clarke winced at what she found. The skin was dark and the wound was raised, dried blood coating her skin and Lexa expelled a breath when Clarke touched it.

 

It made Clarke glance up and meet the Commander's eyes. "Sorry," she said, managing to repel a comment about Lexa always saying the wound was 'fine'.

 

Lexa gripped at the furs beneath her hands and hissed a little, not caring as much about appearing weak, not in that moment.

 

Clarke went to work cleaning and checking the wound, a content sort of silence settling over them. Lexa watched her closely, her chest filling with warmth with how gentle Clarke was being. How thorough and how caring. It made the Commander smile at her softly even though Clarke couldn't see it.

 

After a while Clarke felt Lexa's gaze on her. At first she sensed it on what she was doing, on her fingers as they ghosted over Lexa's exposed skin and as she made sure everything she did was careful and purposeful. Then though, she felt the Commander's smouldering gaze upon her and it made her breaths come a little quicker, her heart begin to hammer her ribs a little more heavily. Clarke knew where she was looking though, especially when she raked her hands through her hair and pulled it over her one shoulder for no other reason than because the temperature in the room was beginning to soar.

 

Lexa was looking at her neck, and at the bruises that still marked her there.

 

"I'm okay, Lexa," Clarke responded to the silent question, her thumb tracing a light pattern against her thigh. "It's you who's hurt."

 

There was a moment before Lexa replied. "It is not good enough," she said, stuck smack between so much concern and so much frustration. "This should not have happened here, and not to you."

 

Clarke started to wrap the new bandage around her leg, slowly and methodically. She could tell how angry Lexa was about it, and how much she was trying to contain it. Her words were more clipped than usual all of a sudden, with more of a ragged edge to her tone. Clarke stopped what she was doing for a moment and slipped her hand around to the underside of Lexa's thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Nothing happened to me," she said softly, trying to sooth and calm the wild thing sat above her who wanted to react.

 

Lexa peered down at her. "But it was their intention to harm you."

 

Clarke met her gaze. "I know the risks, Lexa," she said with another gentle squeeze. "I knew them before I came here. It's not your job to protect me."

 

Lexa looked at her as if that was preposterous. She wanted to say 'of course it is', but she knew too well how that would sound so she clenched her jaw and tried something else. "This is my city and you are my guest," she said with a loud burst of authority. "You should be safe here..." she trailed off as if she was trying to convince herself she had failed in some way, and was making sure she knew it.

 

Clarke sighed and went back to her bandaging, but not before scratching at her forehead in the middle of her brow. "We're going to be at war, Lexa," she breathed. "No one is safe."

 

Lexa flexed her jaw and looked away. She couldn't help her anger and frustration even though she was trained to deal with her emotions better than this. She was infuriated, unhappy with how it looked, to Clarke. Like Lexa couldn't even defend her own home so she directed her glare across the room, instead, her hands squeezing the plush furs beneath them.

 

"Now hold still," Clarke muttered with her own brand of authority as she finished wrapping the bandage carefully over and around Lexa's wound.

 

Lexa tried to breathe it out. She knew she was blaming herself more than was necessary and she knew it was because of Clarke. She focused her attention on the rise and fall of her chest and the gentle way Clarke's fingers came into contact with her skin. She let it sooth and reassure her, and to be perfectly honest it was just nice to feel cared for by someone who didn't feel obliged to because it was their duty.

 

After a moment Lexa pushed out a giant breath and she relaxed, her shoulders drooping first and then the tension easing away from her muscles. She leaned back a little and rested her weight on her palms behind her, tipping her head back before she let it drop forwards.

 

Clarke looked up and smiled, the muscles in Lexa's thigh becoming looser and looser the longer she touched her and she was almost sorry she was pretty much done with her nursing. When she couldn't possibly drag it out any longer she ran her hand around to the side of Lexa's thigh and played her fingers along the surface of her skin a little, just below the line of her boxers.

 

"I think you're all done," Clarke said softly as she pulled her lips into a small smile and when Lexa opened her eyes they were dark, and her gaze felt even heavier than before.

 

Lexa just gazed at her, her breaths coming more evenly now and she willed Clarke not to move. She wanted to lean forwards and kiss her, to feel Clarke's hands on her some more but she didn't want to take advantage. Clarke had been through something traumatic and if she was feeling vulnerable, Lexa didn't want to overstep the mark.

 

Clarke managed to pull her eyes away and she picked up one of the damp clothes she had used on Lexa's leg. The Commander's face was still marked with her warpaint, although it was now mostly faded and quite smudged. She had some other marks too, and a nasty looking bruise forming down one side of her face where it had impacted the wall. Clarke stood and leaned down a little, wincing a bit as she held the good side of Lexa's face so she could wipe the cloth gently down the injured side.

 

Lexa winced too and tried to jerk away although she didn't put much effort into it. The action made Clarke smile and after the few gentle swipes across her one cheek, she moved the cloth along the Commander's forehead and down the other side. Lexa grumbled a little bit and Clarke lightly chuckled, handing the cloth off so she could finish the job off herself.

 

"Hold that to your face," Clarke said after a moment, gesturing to Lexa's blossoming bruise. "It'll relieve the pain a little bit." She then picked up the remaining cloths and bottles that she'd left to the side on the floor and moved away, feeling a little like her entire body was overheating. She walked back over to the table but once she was away, she found she wanted nothing more than to be back in the Commander's personal space. It was disconcerting, really, what Lexa could do to her, and she wondered what the hell she was thinking when she agreed to stay in her room. Surely there could only be one outcome, and Clarke was running out of reasons not to let it happen.

 

She spun around, then, feeling a hefty amount of anxiety overtake her body as she ran her hands over her hips and then to her waist and back again. Lexa, though, was already standing and was leaning against the wooden bit at the bottom of her bed, the cloth already discarded and Clarke's breath caught in her throat. There was something about Lexa standing in front of her, in absolutely nothing but her boxers and tank top that made Clarke's body throb. She raked her eyes over the Commander's body and she felt her chest shudder as her stomach muscles clenched and her lips went dry.

 

Lexa swallowed and she had never been more glad to have a wooden support behind her. She didn't think she'd ever been more tired in her entire life, her leg was completely numb and she felt bruised all over from the fight in the hallway but the thing was, she was captivated. Right then she didn't feel at all like the Commander of the twelve clans. She felt like Leksa, a simple Trikru girl who had fallen for a girl who fell from the Sky, and her heart was thudding with how much she wanted to scoop her up in her arms and hold her close.

 

As well as everything else she wanted to do to her.

 

Lexa held Clarke's gaze and she just smiled. Shy and genuine and like she couldn't contain what she felt. She wanted her, and she wanted to let Clarke know it.

 

"Clarke..." she whispered, her voice low and gravelly and positively _needy_ and it sent a ripple of desire powering down Clarke's spine.

 

And that was all it took.

 

For the second time that night Clarke bee-lined for her, not letting Lexa finish her sentence because then she was in her arms and she was kissing her, long and hard and deeply and Lexa let herself drown in it.

 

It was heated as soon as their lips connected, Clarke's hands at the back of Lexa's neck and she pushed into her with a strength she didn't know she possessed, Lexa's hand enveloping Clarke's waist and pulling their bodies flush together.

 

Lexa grunted as Clarke's body impacted her, not wasting a second in pulling Clarke's hips to hers. It was frantic, almost, so full of pent up desire that Lexa's heart was quickly thudding, her blood racing through her body and making her head spin and when Clarke pushed her tongue into Lexa's mouth, the groan the Commander let out was _elicit_.

 

It made Clarke melt. The sensation of her stomach fluttering and her insides turning inside out was overpowering and when Lexa ran her fingertips up her back, she felt it from the tips of her fingers to the ends of her toes. She shuddered so much it made her pull away and suck in a massive, maddening breath, her fingers digging into the skin at the base of Lexa's neck and her forearms resting vertically against her chest.

 

"God," Clarke breathed, the utterance floating away on the edges of her breath.

 

Lexa though was too far gone to hear it. She was panting, and she couldn't control her breathing even if she wanted to. She was stuck in a muddy pool of thickening desire and she wasn't quite convinced it was really happening. It was all she could do to try and calm down, to try not to lean back in and capture Clarke's lips so they could carry on where they'd left off. She felt stupid with how much she wanted her, her body coiled tightly with searing want and she hoped Clarke wasn't regretting it. She hoped she wasn't getting ready to pull away because if she did Lexa didn't know what she would do. She was standing there basically in nothing but her underwear, holding onto the woman she had lusted over for what felt like forever and she didn't want it to be over. War was coming, lives could end and all she wanted was to make Clarke see stars. She wanted to make her scream out in ecstasy and when she did she wanted taste her release on her tongue.

 

Lexa swallowed thickly and she felt herself contract at the thought but then all of a sudden worry set in. Clarke's fingers were digging into her skin tightly and her breaths were still ragged, Clarke not having moved since she pulled away and rested their foreheads together.

 

Lexa was quickly nervous, but this time for a whole other reason. "Clarke?" she murmured, and it was little more than a breathy exhale. Her fingers gently sliding around to Clarke's hips once more and then she gave one of them a reassuring squeeze. When no response came the Commander panicked, cursing herself for getting carried away. "I..." she started, but quickly cut herself off. Her heart was still pounding and she had no idea how to make this situation right. Her mind was swimming, clouded by lust. "I didn't mean," she tried again, but that just didn't sound right in her head. "When I told them to bring you here..." and then Clarke pulled away, a bit, and it made the words die in the Commander's mouth.

 

Lexa just looked at her apprehensively, never feeling so nervous in her life which was stupid, because the Commander of the twelve clans didn't get nervous, especially at such a thing as having a girl in her bedroom, standing between her legs. But this was Clarke, and she had the power to shatter her heart in one fell swoop so Lexa just stared at her, and waited for her to look at her and hope that she wouldn't decimate her completely.

 

But then Clarke smiled as she sucked in a heavy breath, trying above all else to reign in some semblance of control. The Commander was making her shake, and Clarke had never been so affected by a kiss that her whole body shook, before. Not even by one of Lexa's. She opened her eyes and her heart simply melted as she took in the expression on Lexa's face. So full of hope and fear and need that it was terrifying in how unguarded it was. How open and laid bare and ready for Clarke to take and God, how much she wanted to take it. She wanted to take _her_ and the level of confusion in Lexa's eyes had to be about the cutest thing Clarke had ever seen in her life.

 

Clarke shook her head and pushed their foreheads together again. "Take me to bed, Lex," she whispered, and Lexa looked as if she'd been floored.

 

Lexa pulled away and lifted her hand so she could push her palm against Clarke's shoulder, wanting to look into her eyes just to check and when all Clarke did was smile, the Commander let herself smile in return. A smile so big it lit up her face and Clarke was sure it might even fall off the sides of her face.

 

Lexa wanted to ask if she was certain but before she got chance Clarke leaned in for another kiss, a quick one this time, one and then another and then another and then Lexa pushed after her, moving away from the end of the bed as she grabbed onto Clarke's wrists and guided her around its edge, and up towards the head.

 

Clarke stopped moving half way and cupped the sides of the Commander's face, holding onto her jaw as she kissed her chastely at first but then for longer and much deeper until they were kissing the air from each other's lungs again.

 

Lexa's hands were once more at Clarke's lower back and she pulled her body to her, one hand easily slipping down to cup Clarke's ass and it made Clarke realise she was wearing far too many clothes. She broke the kiss and was delighted by Lexa's disappointed groan but then she reached down and grabbed the hem of her shirt, lifting it up and over her own head before she dropped it to the floor.

 

Lexa just gawped at her, blinking a few times at what was suddenly on display. Clarke's skin looked tantalising and the swell of her breasts heaved in their confines as Clarke's breathing remained heavy and insistent, their bodies still in contact at the hips and Lexa's hands still roaming over her backside.

 

"Meizen," Lexa whispered, totally in awe and Clarke grinned as she thought she could figure that one out.

 

"So are you," Clarke said in return and it actually made the Commander blush. Clarke swallowed, being totally wrong before; _that_ was by far the cutest thing she had ever seen and her heart absolutely swelled with it.

 

Clarke got a hold of Lexa's shoulders and pushed her backwards so she was sitting back down on the bed, gazing up at her like she was something to be revered and Clarke felt a resulting rush settle between her legs. She was so completely and utterly turned on that her skin tingled with it and she was absolutely done waiting. She leaned down and kissed the Commander again and immediately pushed her tongue into her mouth, desperate to let Lexa know how much she wanted her and that she wasn't prepared to wait any longer. Clarke was hungry, and she _needed_ the Commander so much she physically ached with it.

 

Lexa didn't need any further encouragement. Her hands immediately went to the front of Clarke's pants and she started to undo them, working the buttons and fastenings in record time and then she pushed them down her hips.

 

Clarke groaned as the kiss turned to fire; Lexa's fingers against her legs making her feel alight all over and she couldn't wait. She straightened and then helped Lexa push her pants down her legs, bracing her weight on Lexa's shoulders as she toed off her boots. Her pants then followed and all it took was a moment for Lexa to drink her in; for her eyes to widen and her pupils dilate as if there were no colour left in them at all.

 

The Commander gasped out a breath and she licked her lips, devouring in her mind the amount of skin before her; of Clarke dressed only in her underwear before she shimmied forwards, grabbing Clarke at her waist before she pulled her in and started to leave a blazing trail of kisses from the base of her neck to the valley between her breasts.

 

Clarke murmured something but neither of them knew what. Her head tipped back as she felt the Commander's tongue and lips and teeth against her skin, her hands igniting an inferno across her lower back, over her ass, down the back of her thighs and then all over again. It was making Clarke's chest judder and she just didn't know what to do with herself. Her heartbeat had lost all sense of rhythm and her mind was turning to mush at the thought of what the Commander would do to her. Where her lips would go, and what she would do with her tongue.

 

It was devastating, really, mind-numbing, and Clarke was going crazy with the lust that was surging through her. Her hands ran into the Commander's hair and she tugged at her braids, pressing her fingertips into the back of her head in a frenzied effort to somehow get her lips even closer and then before she knew it, Clarke was on her back on the bed and Lexa was leaning over her, gently pressing her lips into the skin at her neck as her fingers hooked into the waistband of Clarke's underwear before they were being tugged, inch by inch down her legs.

 

Clarke was panting so hard she couldn't hear anything else, interspersed by the sound of her own moans or maybe they were Lexa's; Clarke didn't know and she didn't much care as it all beautifully mixed into the sound of _them_ , together, and it was honest to God the best fucking thing ever.

 

Lexa kissed along her neck, licking and nipping at her skin being careful to avoid the bruises as much as she could, carefully pushing down Clarke's underwear before she leaned up on one arm, pulling them off the rest of the way and then in one fluid motion she took off her tank top exposing her naked torso beneath. Clarke swallowed and immediately sat up, kissing at Lexa's neck and sweeping her fingers over her ribs, down her sides and across her toned abs. Lexa gasped into the vast space around them, loving the sensation of Clarke scratching her nails over her stomach and then she reached around to remove Clarke's bra, figuring it out after only a moment of fumbling and then Clarke was suddenly back on her back, Lexa not wasting any time at all in kissing, feeling and tasting her way down her body.

 

Lexa paused as her lips reached one of Clarke's nipples and she swirled her tongue around it, the groan that left Clarke's lips going straight to Lexa's core. She was so turned on, so wet that she thought she'd likely come when Clarke did without having to be touched but she didn't care, Clarke tasted amazing. Her skin was warm and soft and the sounds she was making when Lexa kissed or touched her in certain places were absolutely delectable.

 

Lexa could barely believe it was happening, really, but she let herself go with it. She had wanted this for so long and had hardly let herself think about the possibility of it, but now it was happening she was going to savour every moment and make sure Clarke teemed with pleasure during every single moment.

 

Lexa continued down, her hand trailing patterns along Clarke's thigh, up to her hip, across her navel and then her fingers followed the crease of her leg along its diagonal line, stopping just before where Clarke was aching to be touched.

 

"Please, Lexa," Clarke whined, and Lexa had to press her legs together to stop her own instant response. She groaned as she tasted Clarke's skin just below her belly button, her fingers teasing further around Clarke's centre as her lips moved in a vertical line down her navel.

 

"Fuck!" Clarke shouted out, her head pushing back into the pillows. "Lex... I fucking need you."

 

Lexa kissed her gently just above her clit, not sure if she could tease her any longer. She ached to touch Clarke where she needed her, to feel her wetness and the softness of being between her folds and more importantly, she _needed_ to know what she tasted like. The mere thought of it was driving the Commander crazy and her whole body was tingling with fraught anticipation.

 

Clarke keened below her and it made Lexa's chest whine furiously, simply not being able to wait any longer. She ran her fingers through Clarke's heat and Clarke's back arched immediately, desperately trying to find more friction so Lexa ran her index and middle fingers over her clit and the response was downright scandalous.

 

Clarke moaned into the space above her and her eyes flung open, gulping in a breath as she tried to push herself down further into Lexa's hand. The sensation was thrilling, sending a wave of pleasure flooding outwards from her gut and Clarke only wanted to feel more of it. Her heart was fluttering and her chest was shaking and Lexa had barely even started to touch her.

 

Lexa was a mess. That or she was rapidly approaching it. The smell and the taste and the feel of Clarke's body was just taking over her senses and her mind was awash with it. It was fantastic, and Lexa didn't care if she drowned in it. She wanted _more_ , and the way Clarke was gasping and writhing beneath her only spurred her on all the more.

 

Lexa moaned deeply, and then after circling Clarke's clit a few times and then rubbing over it, she pushed two fingers inside her leaving her clit for when her lips got there.

 

Clarke arched her back and pushed her head into the pillows even further, screaming out a moan that Lexa was certain would be heard in TonDC. It was intoxicating, how Lexa was feeling. Clarke was so very warm and soft and so, so wet in fact she was _soaking_. Lexa pushed her fingers in deeper and Clarke clamped onto them immediately, squeezing them as hard as she could and it was all Lexa could do to not plough into her over and over and make her come in a shuddering, earth-shattering moment. Somehow though she managed to control her pace and she started a slow, steady rhythm that made Clarke cry out in sheer, unadulterated pleasure.

 

Clarke felt like she was falling apart. Her heart was surely out of her chest and her mind wasn't even in this hemisphere. All she could feel were Lexa's fingers and they were incredible, reaching so deeply inside and filling her Clarke had never felt anything like it. Her lips were amazing too, and the weight of her body on top of her was like an explosion already though Clarke knew the best was yet to come. Suddenly Lexa added a third finger and Clarke thrust down onto her like she couldn't get enough and when she curled her fingers and pushed against that spot on her front wall Clarke bucked her hips wildly, her heartbeat racing as her blood ran like fire beneath her heated skin.

 

Lexa was going into overdrive herself and where she would've loved to be able to take her time, explore every inch of her lover's body and memorise it by heart she knew she just couldn't. Not right then. Not this time. This time was all about heat and passion and pent up desire and all Lexa wanted to do was send Clarke careering over the edge with the best orgasm of her life, and she simply can't wait to do it.

 

Lexa moved herself down Clarke's body the last few inches and as Clarke bent her knees in response, Lexa kissed the inside of her thigh just once as she drove her fingers into her again, leaning down to take Clarke's clit into her mouth and suck on it, hard and long and approvingly. She could feel it pulsing in her mouth and Clarke was so wet and she tasted so amazingly good that Lexa couldn't help but let out a long, low moan at the flavour.

 

"Jesus fucking Christ, yes!" Clarke yelled out and she knew she wouldn't be able to take much more. She moaned as Lexa filled her, each time she pulled out and thrust back in, time and time again and when Lexa licked up the length of her clit and then flicked her tongue over its tip Clarke's muscles began to tense and then she started to shake.

 

"Lex, yes, there! Fuck!" Clarke repeated over and over, faster and faster as Lexa twisted her fingers inside her, pummelling that spot harder and harder and then Clarke's hand lost itself in Lexa's hair as her moans came faster, her words trailing off as they cracked and drifted away.

 

"Shit, Lexa, I'm..." she trailed off, unable to form any more words and then Lexa felt Clarke's body go rigid, her rocking stopping for a moment before she let out a piercing scream, her body convulsing as Lexa continued to suck on her clit, gently massaging it in her mouth as her fingers did the same within her before all of a sudden Clarke's world ran screaming into white.

 

Clarke came back to reality a few moments later. Or it could've been fifteen minutes; Clarke really had no idea but the first thing she noticed was Lexa's lips gently kissing the skin across her stomach and making their way up along her ribs, over her breast and paying special attention to her nipple. It made Clarke shudder, even more so than she was already and she felt the grin on Lexa's lips against her skin.

 

Clarke hummed in appreciation and she reached down for Lexa's face, cupping her at the back of her neck and applying gentle pressure to bring her a little further up.

 

Lexa complied and when she met Clarke's eyes Lexa's breath was stolen all over again and there was a definite clenching sensation in her chest, a warm thudding that sent such a feeling of contentment rippling through her she almost became dizzy. Lexa swallowed dryly as she smiled at Clarke's lazy grin, Clarke's hands coming forwards and gripping onto Lexa's jaw to bring her forwards into a kiss.

 

Clarke sighed into it and delighted in the feel of Lexa's whole weight bearing down on her. She was naked except for her boxers and that was something Clarke wanted to remedy as soon as possible but first she wanted to taste more of herself on Lexa's tongue.

 

Lexa groaned when Clarke's tongue entered her mouth and she couldn't help the corresponding jolt that shot right between her legs. She was so wet the Commander could've easily been embarrassed but for some reason she wasn't, and all she wanted to do was rock against Clarke's thigh but she didn't want to come across so desperate during their first time. Instead a low rumble erupted deep in her chest and she sank entirely into the kiss and the feeling of Clarke's hands in her hair and roaming over her back.

 

Clarke could feel the rapid thump of the Commander's pulse at almost every point in her body and she grinned widely as Lexa broke the kiss, taking her lips back to Clarke's neck as she moaned into her heated skin. Clarke started raking her fingertips along Lexa's sides as she was rewarded with a juddering of the Commander's body. "Turned on, Heda?" Clarke asked with a grin, her voice so deep and throaty with lust that it alone made Lexa moan into her throat.

 

It was also the fact Clarke called her 'Heda' in _this_ kind of situation but there was no way Lexa was ready to divulge that just yet and so she just lifted her head a little and gently nipped at the edge of Clarke's jaw. "Your fault," she groaned quietly and Clarke grinned all the more, bringing her thigh up a little as she pressed it between Lexa's legs.

 

The noise Lexa exhaled was excruciating in its wantonness. It was almost guttural and Clarke almost came again. Lexa bit down on her bottom lip as she unashamedly ground herself against Clarke thigh and panted out a breath into Clarke's neck.

 

Clarke pressed her fingernails into Lexa's lower back, her one hand sliding over her ass and as she pulled the Commander closer she moaned even louder, the very idea of the normally stoic and expressionless Heda falling apart over her making Clarke wet all over again.

 

Soon though it wasn't enough, Clarke wanted to _feel_ Lexa and she wanted her naked. She wanted to feel Lexa's slick folds sliding against her leg, coating her skin in her wetness and she of course wanted to touch her, in fact she needed to so Clarke moved her hands to Lexa's hips and started pushing down her boxers as much as their position would allow.

 

Lexa got the hint, and as much as she was perfectly happy rocking against Clarke's leg in her underwear she knew it wouldn't do, she wanted Clarke to touch her too and her heart pounded her ribcage even harder at the thought of Clarke being _inside_ of her. It made another moan grumble in her chest and she reached down to help push at her boxers, sliding them down past her knees before she was able to kick them off without much preamble.

 

Then she was naked and they were bare skin against bare skin and it was a whole other sensation entirely. Their hips met and their thighs pressed against each other's soaring heat and as Lexa lowered herself back down fully onto Clarke's thigh the groan she let out sent a thundering jolt racing through Clarke's being. It was electric, making Clarke reach out for Lexa's hips and pull her down even harder onto her; the feeling of Lexa's clit rubbing against her skin sending her mind into meltdown.

 

Lexa grunted breathlessly again and again, her forehead hovering over Clarke's shoulder and her hands just out to the side of her arms. Lexa hadn't felt anything even remotely like to this in an age, or something close to it and it was mind-numbing for her. The sex of course amazing but the feelings making her float away even higher; her heart thudding for the sensations but also because it was _Clarke_ who was touching her, and Clarke making her feel all these things and it was all too much and not enough at once.

 

She was feeling so much and she thought she might combust, for more than one reason but then she felt Clarke's hand moving between her legs and she had to bite down on Clarke's shoulder so she wouldn't be heard in TonDC, too.

 

Clarke felt Lexa raise her hips up and she quickly pushed her hand lower, her fingers immediately finding and moving through her slick folds and going straight for her clit.

 

Lexa gasped, her head coming up quickly and as Clarke started to gently rub at her throbbing, swollen clit Lexa opened her eyes and Clarke instantly drowned in those glassy, emotion-filled, expressive green eyes. Clarke had trouble swallowing around the lump that formed in her throat; the Commander's mouth dropping open so she could breathe and then she leaned forwards, Lexa pushing her forehead onto Clarke's as Clarke slipped two fingers down to her opening before she pushed inside.

 

Lexa let a moan tumble from her lips before she sucked in a quick breath, clamping down around Clarke's fingers as she proceeded to fuck herself on them, moving herself down as Clarke thrust upwards and into her, over and over again.

 

Lexa's breaths came in gasps, her eyes clenched shut again as she let Clarke fill her from below. It was dizzying as the sensations overpowered her, Clarke sending wave upon wave of pleasure soaring through her body as it spread from her gut to the tips of her fingers and all the way back again. Clarke then added a third finger as she bumped her thumb against her clit and it was like something snapped, Lexa shouting out into the room as she got up on all fours, her face scrunched up in pure pleasure and she begged Clarke not to stop.

 

"Beja, Klark!" she moaned, "dula nou hod op!"

 

Clarke gathered what she meant and kept going, thrusting harder as she felt Lexa's body begin to tighten but then Lexa straightened her back so she was vertical on the bed, resting all her weight on her knees before she opened her eyes and looked down at Clarke with such a look of raw, undiluted _passion_ that she thought her heart might stop there and then.

 

Clarke only paused for a moment before she continued, rubbing Lexa's clit with her thumb as her three fingers moved inside of her, finally finding a stop against her front wall that made Lexa tip her head back and shout once more into the vastness of the room.

 

"Jok," Lexa breathed as her walls clenched hard around Clarke's fingers, holding them there as Clarke curled them before she thrust them into her again. The Commander's brow furrowed with need as she gasped out her pleasure, her body beginning to judder as the warmest sensations started to erupt within her. "Jok, sha, jok ai, Klark," she groaned, her voice getting louder the closer she got.

 

Clarke was panting, the sight of Lexa like this absolutely driving her to distraction. The Commander was beautiful, that she already knew but seeing her like this Clarke knew she'd never get used to. She was phenomenally stunning and she absolutely took Clarke's breath away.

 

"Meija," Lexa continued, and Clarke thought the Commander talking dirty to her in Trigedasleng while she fucked her was the sexiest thing ever.

 

But then Clarke had to move; she raised herself up on her free elbow and then sat up, wrapping her arm around Lexa's back and holding her body close as she continued to fuck her, Lexa's abdomen now flush against Clarke's stomach and the position afforded her a little more leverage so she increased her pace, pushing into the Commander harder and faster than before. Clarke then latched onto one of Lexa's nipples, sucking it into her mouth and teasing it with her tongue and then that was it, she felt Lexa shake and the Commander cried out into the air above them.

 

"Skrish, Klark, jok!" Lexa exclaimed, her head flopping backwards as her body juddered uncontrollably, her arms then wrapping around Clarke's head as she held on for dear life as her body fell apart, her come running down around Clarke's fingers as Clarke kept them there, gently slowing her pace and caressing the Commander as she rode out her orgasm.

 

Lexa didn't know how long it lasted, just simply that she remained in Clarke's arms for a while as Clarke held her firmly, placing feather light kisses along her chest as Lexa tried to regain her breathing.

 

Eventually Lexa moved, releasing her vice-like grip on Clarke's hair as Clarke slowly slid out of her, trailing her fingers gently around and down the back of Lexa's thighs, earning a pleasurable gasp from the Commander before she placed a kiss atop Clarke's head and then tipped them over so they both could lie down on the bed.

 

Clarke was on her back and Lexa next to her on her front, her arms squidged up under her chest as she lay with her head turned toward Clarke, releasing the biggest and most content sigh Clarke had ever heard and the satisfied grin that adorned her lips was most _definitely_ , the cutest thing Clarke had ever seen.

 

Clarke let out a barely there chuckle as she stroked her index finger against the side of Lexa's thigh.

 

"Yu ste toli fanas, toli meizen," Lexa sighed almost dreamily and then she grinned widely. "Oso souda ses op nodotaim."

 

Even though she had no idea what Lexa was saying, the inflection in her tone told Clarke she was happy and that was the only thing that mattered. "You know I don't know what you're saying, right?" she chuckled, just a little.

 

Lexa opened her eyes and stared deeply into Clarke's, smiling languidly at the blissful look of gratification she saw on her face. She nodded. "It's safer that way."

 

Clarke turned onto her side and ran her index finger slowly along the edge of Lexa's jaw and to the centre of her chin. "What," she started softly, "in case you say something you shouldn't?"

 

Lexa just nodded, again.

 

It made Clarke frown and pout, just a bit. "But that's cheating. I can't do that."

 

Lexa sighed, long and hard but the grin remained on her face. She couldn't get over what she was feeling, how happy and content and utterly warm her body was, the tingling feeling still there and rolling through her right to her toes. She gazed into Clarke's eyes and all she could see was home and she wanted to keep it forever. "Yu gada ai tombon in, Klark, beja nou dula em flosh klin."

 

Clarke sighed but simply couldn't bring herself not to smile. She felt too good and too sated to do anything else. "What does that mean?" she asked, still tracing Lexa's jaw.

 

Lexa swallowed. "It means we should sleep."

 

Clarke grinned. "Liar," she frowned playfully.

 

Lexa grinned too, a yawn taking her by surprise and then she became more serious, her eyes darting all over Clarke's face. "I didn't hurt you?"

 

Clarke chuckled, again. "No, Lexa," she reassured her, and then she raised her eyebrows. "Those were not sounds of pain. Couldn't you tell?"

 

Lexa could and it made her lick her lips as she remembered. "I was just... checking."

 

Clarke wanted to say a lot of things, then, something like; 'that was amazing', or, 'unbelievable'... The best sex ever. That Lexa was the best _thing_ ever. That she was beautiful, gorgeous; so gentle and soft and passionate and caring and she made Clarke never want to leave this bed _ever_ again but she couldn't. It was too soon. Far too many feelings that really, Clarke didn't think she was ready to have so she let them pass, and just stared into Lexa's eyes adoringly. After a moment though she had to shake her head. "Definitely not pain," she sighed. "That was..." and then she blinked a few times, having to find a word now she had started. "Amazing. Really."

 

Lexa felt it too, Clarke could see it in her eyes and then the Commander's throat rippled with a heavy swallow. All Lexa could do was nod, for she had no words to describe how beautiful everything was in that moment, because Clarke was laying there with her. "Yes," she uttered, and that was all that would come out.

 

Clarke smiled and leaned in for a very sweet, very chaste kiss and she kept her lips there for a moment before she pulled away. Lexa's eyes had already fallen closed with the biggest, soppiest grin on her face and Clarke really wished she had a way to capture it.

 

It made Clarke grin, too, and then she had to bite back a jaw-cracking yawn. "Definitely time for sleep," she whispered, as the Commander already looked like she might be dozing.

 

"Mmhnhmmnn," Lexa breathed, just about hearing Clarke's words as slumber tugged at her every edge. She moved up the bed a little at Clarke's urging and settled into the crook of her shoulder, pressing a slow and lazy kiss to the side of Clarke's neck.

 

Clarke sighed contentedly. "Sleep well, Lex," she whispered, but Lexa was already asleep.

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
> **  
> Translations.  
>   
> 
> Pauna.  
>  _Gorilla._
> 
> Azgeda.  
>  _Ice Nation._
> 
> Trishana.  
>  _Glowing Forest._
> 
> Delfikru.  
>  _Delphi Clan._
> 
> Yujleda.  
>  _Broadleaf._
> 
> Floukru.  
>  _Boat People._
> 
> Ouskejou Kru.  
>  _Blue Cliff Clan._
> 
> "Gon soujon. Gon fig woda au".  
>  _"It is for travelling. To find water."_
> 
> "Mochof."  
>  _"Thank you."_
> 
> "Shof op! Hosh gon Heda!"  
>  _"Be quiet! Silence for your Commander!"_
> 
> "Oso gid em op!"  
>  _"We celebrate!"_  
>  (Yeah, I don't know - I searched for some kind of celebratory 'cheers' equivalent and that's what I found. Titus says it when they're celebrating Ascension Day and apparently, that's the bit that means 'celebrate' although it's not directly translated as yet).
> 
> "Hon Klark noda souda in, en get klin em en Skaikru choj os op taim emo sad in."  
>  _"Get Clarke another drink, and make sure she and her people eat well when they choose to."_
> 
> "Boudalan."  
>  _"Rock Line." (clan)._
> 
> "Pro."  
>  _"You're welcome."_
> 
> Branwada.  
>  _Idiot._
> 
> "Hani?"  
>  _"How many?"_
> 
> "Ai nou na ai op, Hed-"  
>  _"I cannot see, Hed-"_
> 
> "Kom yu wamplei Wanheda, Azplana na get wimplei in."  
>  _"With your death, Wanheda, Queen Nia will know victory."_
> 
> "Get klin emo ste daun! Lufa ogeda wogeda au, get klin der bilaik no mou."  
>  _"Make sure they are dead! Search every room, make sure there are no more."_
> 
> "Os goufa. Kei don."  
>  _"Good lad. Well done."_
> 
> "Emo ste hir. Stedaun."  
>  _"They are in here. Dead."_
> 
> "Hod fisa nau in."  
>  _"Fetch a healer, now."_
> 
> "Sis em gon ain wogeda op, ron em ten gona! Non gon ban em op! Zeek!"  
>  _"Take her to my room, give her ten guards! None to leave her side! Zeek!"_
> 
> "Sha, Heda?"  
>  _"Yes, Commander?"_
> 
> "Yu don throu daun os, gon otaim."  
>  _"You fought well, as always."_
> 
> "En's ai dula, Heda."  
>  _"It is my duty, Heda."_
> 
> "Ste yu laksen?"  
>  _"Are you injured?"_
> 
> "No Heda."  
>  _"No, Commander."_
> 
> "Em kamp raun, nou dula ban em op."  
>  _"Stay close to her, do not leave her."_
> 
> "Ai na nou, Heda."  
>  _"I will not, Commander."_
> 
> "Ban bosh medo-de we. Shil veida-of op."  
>  _"Remove the bodies. Secure the floor."_
> 
> "Boden, sis emo gon Heda wogeda op."  
>  _"Boden, take them to the Commander's bedroom."_
> 
> "Kru kom kongeda, hosh gon Heda."  
>  _"People of the Coalition, silence for your Commander."_
> 
> Goufa.  
>  _Child._
> 
> "Meizen."  
>  _"Beautiful."_
> 
> "Beja, Klark! Dula nou hod op!"  
>  _"Please, Clarke! Don't stop!"_
> 
> "Jok, sha, jok ai, Klark."  
>  _"Fuck, yes, fuck me, Clarke."_
> 
> "Meija."  
>  _"Harder."_
> 
> "Skrish, Klark, jok!"  
>  _"Shit, Clarke, fuck!"_
> 
> "Yu bilaik toli fanas, toli meizen. Oso souda ses op nodotaim."  
>  _"You are so sexy, so beautiful. We must do that again."_
> 
> "Yu gada ai tombon in, Klark, beja nou dula em flosh klin."  
>  _"You have my heart, Clarke, please do not destroy it."_
> 
>  
> 
> **For reference:**
> 
>  
> 
> Kasius kom Sankru (Desert Clan) - pronounced Kaz-e-us  
> Reiki kom Podakru (Lake People) - pronounced Ray-kee  
> Zion kom Delfikru (Delphi Clan) - pronounced Zee-on  
> Roks kom Louwoda Kliron (Shadow Valley) - pronounced Rox  
> Dolsha kom Yujleda (Broadleaf) - pronounced Dol-sha  
> Kaia kom Trishana (Glowing Forest) pronounced Kai-a  
> Azizi kom Ingranrona (Plains Riders) pronounced A-zee-zee  
> Anton kom Ouskejou Kru (Blue Cliff Clan) pronounced Anton  
> Jaikob kom Boudalan (Rock Line) pronounced Jacob
> 
>  
> 
> **Established:**
> 
>  
> 
> Luna kom Floukru (Boat People)  
> Nia kom Azgeda (Ice Nation)  
> Indra kom Trikru (Tree People)


	14. fotin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the Clexa feels! Lots and lots of morning after Clexa feels :) plus some humour, some cute banter and a very caring and love struck Lexa. Just smut and lots of feels, basically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glad you all liked the last chapter :) these are coming more regularly now to catch up with where the story is at. I'll be at Survival 2 next Friday (7th April) in London if anyone wants to say hi :) just drop me a message on [Twitter](http://twitter.com/talented_gemx).
> 
> Let me know what you guys think of this one! Thanks as always for the kudos, comments and messages you guys send me, I really appreciate them! You can also find me on [Tumblr](http://talentedgemx.tumblr.com).

Lexa felt a soft gust of air across her cheek and it made her stir. She grumbled a little bit, softly and in the back of her throat as she tried to burrow herself further into the comfort she was pressed up against. It struck her as odd, then, that all she could smell was jasmine as her nose was pressed deep into and consumed by the uplifting scent. Jasmine and... something else Lexa couldn't quite name. It wasn't what she was used to waking up to in her bedroom in Polis Tower, being so unbelievably warm and so very, very comfortable that Lexa wanted whatever it was making her feel that way to stay forever.

 

Without thinking Lexa tightened her grip on the warm body in front of her, pulling it back so it could fit more snugly into her embrace and it was then that her eyes flicked open, blinking a few times against the intrusion of the bright morning sunlight. After a moment Lexa swallowed thickly as blonde hair started to come into focus, blonde hair that her face was pushed into and the soft skin of a neck that the side of her nose was pressed against.

 

On reflex Lexa's hand clenched, not completely but enough for her fingers to squeeze a little against a bare stomach, enticing a soft and sleepy moan from Clarke's lips and that's when Lexa remembered.

 

She was only frozen for a moment, her head jerking up just minutely as she attempted to get a better view around blonde messy hair. She swallowed again as her eyes dropped to Clarke's shoulder, following down and along the curve of her arm as it bent at the elbow and rested gently on top of Lexa's own. Her eyes dropped to the sheet, then, crumpled and strewn across both of their hips and then as Clarke very slightly pushed back against her, another delightful sound coming from her lips Lexa dropped her head back down against the pillows again, her nose once more poking its way through blonde locks and nuzzling a little against warm skin. Clarke's grip on her arm tightened as her whole body snuggled backwards which made Lexa exhale in contentment, her eyes falling closed as she pressed as much of her body as she possibly could against Clarke's naked skin.

 

Nothing was said but Clarke seemed to hum in appreciation and it made Lexa wonder if she was awake or not, either fully conscious in her desire for more of Lexa's skin or if it was done in slumber. It made Lexa grin regardless, a happy smile to reflect the happiness in her chest at where she now found herself, and who she found herself with. Clarke in her bed was only ever a dream for her, a fantasy that she in fact told herself not to hope for but here it was. Here _she_ was and it was amazing, everything Lexa told herself she would never have again and she was grateful. More grateful than she would ever be able to let Clarke know.

 

Lexa sighed rather dreamily, her lungs filling up with a feeling she knew was dangerous but she allowed it anyway. It was something she denied herself even when Costia was alive, if she was honest. She was younger then and when she became Heda she took it very seriously, listening perhaps too intently to those who shaped and guided her. What she and Costia had was more or less kept separate from her being Heda. It had to be, as it was for all those who lead before her. Heda's first responsibility was her people and whomever she loved came a distant second. Always.

 

This time though, it would be different. Clarke would be with her at every turn and she would have input in everything, Lexa would make sure of it providing that, of course, that Clarke wanted it too. She would make it so every Commander after her wouldn't have to rule alone, as she had done since the spirit chose her all those years ago. Those in Command would lead better with the love and support of a houmon, and more so with the knowledge that such a thing wouldn't be disapproved of by everyone surrounding them. Lexa knew this from experience. She had been lost, yes, when Costia was taken from her. Lexa had never felt so lost and alone but denying herself any form of love from then on was a mistake. Being lonely and emotionless wasn't the way to becoming a better Commander, nor was trying to protect Costia by excluding her and treating her as if she wasn't important. She would never listen to Pius on that point again. It was going to be different with Clarke because Lexa _loved_ her, and she wouldn't let anyone tell her how she should deny herself. Not again.

 

"That was a big sigh," Clarke mumbled, pulling Lexa from her train of thought and she couldn't help the turn in her chest at Clarke's deliciously gravelly and sleep laden voice.

 

"I was thinking," Lexa whispered in reply after a moment, her lips close in at the side of Clarke's neck and then she pressed them against her skin delicately.

 

Clarke grinned at the touch and tried to shuffle back further still. "Mmmm," she sighed as she stretched a little in Lexa's arms. "What about?"

 

Lexa increased her grip around Clarke's waist and couldn't stop the small smile from forming at how cute she was being. She wasn't sure how to answer though but definitely wasn't going to go into everything that had crossed her mind. "You," she decided on in the end, her lips moving against Clarke's skin as she spoke and the idea of her and Clarke becoming _anything_ sent her heart on a mini rampage. She swallowed dryly as she attempted to quell it and then watched as Clarke turned over in her arms to face her.

 

Clarke's sleepy face Lexa soon realised, was just as endearing as her sleepy voice, the blue of her eyes having trouble peeking out from behind sleepy eyelids and Lexa had to bite on her lip to stop herself from grinning stupidly. It was quickly followed up by a small frown, then, and Lexa expelled a cough under her breath so she could get a handle on herself. She may be naked and in bed with a just as naked Clarke but it didn't mean she could behave like a love-struck teenager. She was Heda, after all, and she needed to stop her mind from getting carried away with itself. Lexa nodded to herself and tried her best to steel her demeanour, a bit.

 

Oblivious to Lexa's internal battle Clarke brought a hand up and started rubbing at her eye absently. "Sounds serious," she mumbled around a yawn and Lexa just looked at her, completely unable to eradicate the level of affection in her eyes and Clarke just felt silly with it. Silly as if they weren't both leaders of people at odds with each other and as if, for just a moment, or for however long they spent in this bed both naked and wonderfully sex-sated they were simply the young adults they were, happy and content at waking up after their first night together.

 

Clarke moved her hand and hovered it over Lexa's upper arm for a moment before she started trailing her fingertips lightly over her tanned skin, all the way down to her wrist and back again. "It's too early for serious, Lex," she said softly, her voice still deep and rumbly.

 

Lexa melted. Just like that and she closed her eyes momentarily as she released a shallow breath. Clarke's fingers alone were enough to make her tingle let alone what the shortening of her name was doing. Her steely demeanour went quickly out the window and Lexa decided being this familiar with Clarke was her new favourite thing; her insides lighting up just at Clarke's words and so she easily came to the conclusion that Heda was out for the rest of the morning.

 

Clarke's eyes were busy watching her fingers stroking along Lexa's skin, enjoying it immensely when it would pimple under her touch. It reminded her of the way Lexa's body reacted to how she touched her the night before and a resulting heat made itself known in her gut. It made the muscles in her lower half clench and her eyes automatically flicked up to meet Lexa's gentle, hooded gaze.

 

Clarke had to clear her throat a little, and she shuffled a bit where she lay.

 

"How did you sleep?" Lexa asked, her expression so lazy and peaceful Clarke wanted to lean up and kiss the smile that was on her lips.

 

Instead she just swallowed and smiled in return. "Good," she responded quietly. She slept great, actually, the soundest and safest since she'd stepped foot on the ground. Or since she was put in solitary up on the Ark, to be honest. She breathed in a content breath and pushed it out as she inched a little bit closer to Lexa, still continuing to rub her arm although now she was using her palm, Clarke's thumb trailing along the inside and on top of the most sensitive part of her skin. "You?"

 

The way Clarke was lying, on her shoulder so she was facing Lexa with her one arm reaching forwards afforded Lexa with the most wonderful view of Clarke's upper body and she couldn't help but let her gaze fall there. Clarke was beautiful, every single inch of her and of course Lexa already knew this before last night. She had watched her many times, admired her for all sorts of reasons but last night she got to appreciate her body; kiss her skin and touch her curves and honestly Lexa couldn't wait for more of it. She hoped she'd get to do it all again, many times and the way Clarke was languidly touching her and gazing at her so affectionately only made Lexa more hopeful that she would let her.

 

Lexa pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she got lost a little in her memories of the night before. Of the way Clarke felt and how she tasted and the way she moaned when Lexa entered her... she swallowed, and very slowly she nodded her head. "Good," she breathed, her eyes not leaving the subtle rise and fall of Clarke's chest.

 

"Lexa," Clarke chuckled, and Lexa had no idea how long she was gone for, all she could do was lick her lips and still she couldn't divert her heavy, lustful gaze. "My eyes are up here."

 

Clarke thought it was cute; the fearless Commander of twelve clans so easily distracted by the sight of her body. Her expression so unguarded and open and so very full of _need_ and when Lexa's eyes shot up to meet her own, the embarrassment clearly shading her cheeks at being caught made Clarke laugh out loud. She definitely didn't want it to end, seeing Lexa like this did something to her and she truly wanted to explore it more.

 

"Sorry," Lexa muttered, quickly shifting her eyes to the crumpled sheets beneath her, her fingers sliding along it too so they were resting between them and playing with the soft material.

 

Clarke though was quick to dissolve it. She reached up and placed her index finger under the Commander's chin, lifting it up so she could place a gentle, chaste kiss on her waiting lips. "Don't be," she whispered, absolutely loving how much Lexa liked her body. She loved it the night before even more. Clarke felt a shiver run through her at the thought and then she too, bit on her bottom lip. "We don't have to get up yet, do we?" she asked, a glint sparkling in her eyes.

 

Lexa saw it and a grin quickly captured her lips. She glanced past Clarke for a moment and tried to gauge how much more rising the sun had to do before she absolutely had to be up, and then with a small shrug she figured there was plenty of time. "No," was her only response before Clarke pushed her onto her back and then straddled her. She was surprised and released a small yelp before it was completely lost as she was presented with Clarke's fully naked form across her hips, whatever she may have said completely fleeing from her mind. _Ai hai Heda_ , Lexa internally screamed but luckily she was able to prevent her lips from saying it and instead she just swallowed heavily as her eyes widened and took in Clarke's beautiful, flawless skin hovering over her.

 

Clarke couldn't help her wide grin, the Commander looking very much like a rabbit caught in headlights. She rested her weight forwards on her palms at either side of Lexa's ribs knowing full well the effect it would have on her cleavage and to her delight Lexa's eyes darkened, her lips parting as she gasped, just a bit. Clarke raised her eyebrows, "Good," she murmured as she lowered her lips to Lexa's neck.

 

Lexa just closed her eyes and exhaled as she settled back into the bed, her hands resting lightly on top of Clarke's thighs as her fingertips pushed into them slightly, every now and then. "Clarke..." she whispered, absolutely enamoured by the sensation of Clarke's centre pressing against her abs. It was making her head spin.

 

Clarke smiled against the Commander's neck. "You're very cute, Commander," she teased with a chuckle.

 

Lexa pushed out a barely there disgruntled breath. "I am not..." she thinly protested with the tiniest of frowns but honestly Clarke could call her whatever she liked, right then, and as Clarke licked up the side of her neck to just underneath her ear Lexa succumbed to releasing a very breathy groan and just turned her head so Clarke had more of her skin to explore.

 

As much as Clarke was enjoyed tormenting the Commander, all she wanted was to make her come again, just like last night but even better and she easily found herself getting lost in the sanctity and security of Lexa's bed and Lexa herself. Quickly the teasing smile fell from her lips and she moulded herself to Lexa's form, her thigh slipping between Lexa's legs as she continued licking and nipping at the sensitive skin below her ear and jaw. It seemed Lexa really liked to be kissed there, so Clarke was adamant on exploiting it.

 

Lexa squeezed at Clarke's thigh, the one that was in reach as the other was now doing delicious things at the apex of her thighs. She was so wet but she didn't care one bit; she didn't care at all that she was unabashedly showing Clarke just how much she wanted her, just how much she had thought of moments like these and it was obvious Clarke was there with her too. Clarke was just as wet, just as wanting and needy for her as Lexa was and for the moment, she just let everything else slip out of her mind.

 

Clarke's lips began inching down the length of Lexa's neck, placing soft and eager open mouthed kisses on her slightly salty skin. She tasted of last night's sex and Clarke just wanted to consume her, kiss her all over and swallow her whole.

 

Her lips became more insistent, descending to one of Lexa's nipples as her thigh applied more pressure, her body curling a little to position herself better as she moved. Lexa let out an approving moan, arching her back and pressing herself more fully against Clarke's mouth and thigh.

 

Clarke felt an answering response between her own thighs at the way Lexa was completely at her mercy, pliant and pulsing under her touch which was making Clarke's heart hammer faster in her chest, the warmth that was barrelling through her body only enticing her further. She released Lexa's nipple and continued downward, a small moan of protest quickly being replaced by a needy whine as Clarke lowered her upper body between Lexa's legs.

 

Lexa parted them instantly, her eyes now open and gazing down as Clarke settled, her eyes dark and hooded with the extent of her lust. She exhaled needily as her head dropped promptly back to the pillows when Clarke's lips came into contact with Lexa's taught abs, biting them a little as she knew how much Lexa liked that. It earned Clarke a torturous groan and then when she moved further down and licked her tongue slowly against the wet heat of her clit, Lexa was certain her head would implode.

 

She tasted amazing and Clarke's eyes fell closed for a moment, her pulse rate thumping as she savoured the sensation on her tongue. Clarke actually hummed and as her arms enveloped Lexa's hips and her hands grasped her by the hips Clarke opened her eyes again to see the Commander beautifully laid out before her.

 

"Klark..." she heard from above her, and Clarke didn't think she'd ever loved the sound of her name on Lexa's lips more than she did in that moment.

 

Lexa swallowed painfully as she looked down once more. "Beja..."

 

Clarke very nearly came right there, her thoughts about this whole scenario making her brain and belly combust simultaneously but she ploughed forward, swiping her tongue  along Lexa's clit but in one long, heavy motion that sent the Commander delirious.

 

"Uhh..." Lexa gasped, "... _helasha,_ " her eyes rolling back in her head. She wasn't prepared for this when she woke up but she wasn't about to deny herself. The last time she let anyone be this intimate with her was, well... a _lifetime_ ago and she just couldn't comprehend how good it felt. How mind-numbing and amazing to be completely lost in the desire of another's touch.

 

Lexa felt like her world was about to explode and Clarke had barely even started.

 

Clarke's grip on Lexa's hips intensified as she slowly circled her clit, using the very tip of her tongue and flicking over it to draw out the sensations the Commander was feeling. She was being quiet Clarke realised, but she could tell how much Lexa was enjoying it, how wet she was alone an undeniable indicator but the way her fingers were clenching in the sheets at either side of them was also telling. She was practically white-knuckled.

 

"Sha Klark," Lexa gasped, her chest heaving with the ragged strength of her breathing. "Sha, ai gaf yu der in, beja. Ona ai."

 

Again Clarke was annoyed she couldn't understand what Lexa was saying but when she moved her tongue down to her opening the meaning undoubtedly came through. Lexa let out such a needy, verging on _desperate_ moan and as her thighs clenched a little around Clarke's head it was impossible not to recognise what the Commander was craving.

 

"Beja," Lexa whispered again and as Clarke pressed her fingers down at the top of Lexa's thighs to open them more fully again, she slowly pushed her tongue inside her and Lexa almost fell apart.

 

Her moans became incoherent as Clarke licked inside her. Gathering up as much wetness as she could and swallowing it down, moaning herself at just how much there was and how amazing she tasted. Clarke wanted more of it so she circled her tongue, delighting in the way Lexa muscles twitched and pulsed and the way the Commander tried to clamp down on it, her body seemingly just as needy as her moans were sounding.

 

Suddenly Lexa's hand found the back of Clarke's head and she lost her fingers in her hair. Gripping at it intermittently as her muscles contracted. Lexa's body was going numb, just as her mind was and the heat that rolled through her body was undulating. It felt like she was being consumed one inch at a time as Clarke's tongue continued to set her body alight. The sensation started in her gut but it quickly spread outward, taking her in its entirety one muscle at a time and making them clench and seize repeatedly. Her legs were already braced, rolled out helplessly at either side of Clarke and now her other arm was doing the same, lolled out uselessly at the side of her head as her other hand gripped at Clarke's hair. It still wasn't much good to her, however, all she could get it to do was grasp at her bangs every now and then as Clarke explored her deeper, her insides feeling as though they were nothing but a slick, overheating mess that was ready to combust at Clarke's bidding.

 

Lexa was certain it wouldn't take much longer, her abdomen utterly tight and as on edge as the rest of her body was quickly becoming. Her inner walls were clenching with every thrust of Clarke's tongue and as much as she attempted to trap it, hold it inside and slow its torment she just couldn't. Her body wasn't following her orders and the sensations were overwhelming, the entirety of her skin glistening with moisture and her clit she felt sure was about to spasm uncontrollably with how hard and ripe it was and then, as Clarke's hand let go of her hip and she curled it around to between her legs Lexa thought she might actually die from what she knew was to come.

 

All it took was one swipe of her fingers, one movement of her index and middle fingers through Lexa's wetness and over her clit as Clarke licked upwards and against the front part of her wall and Lexa called out in one long, endless breathless gasp of Clarke's name and then the Commander let herself go. Falling catastrophically over the edge as her body convulsed, her muscles shaking powerfully as her back ached and her shoulders came off the bed for just a moment, Lexa holding herself rigid in the air before she collapsed back down again, her native mutterings sounding wonderful to Clarke's ears as her tongue was engulfed in even more wetness, and Clarke just lapped it up gladly.

 

**

 

Lexa was spent. Completely, utterly... well and truly and she honestly hadn't had sex like that since Costia. Since before she was Heda and the world was a much simpler place. She supposed it should scare her, really, how much she was letting Clarke in but she chose not to think about it. Not right then, because she knew full well that would come later.

 

She felt Clarke press a gentle kiss to her inner thigh and it served to ground her, pull her back to the confines of her body rather than continue floating somewhere around the ceiling. The Commander hummed as Clarke carried on upward, her eyes still closed as she felt the light kisses caress her abdomen and then move outward to her hip. Clarke of course now very aware of the weakness Lexa had around the soft skin of her hips and so as she began to nibble, the dopiest of smiles made its way to Lexa's lips.

 

Clarke smiled against heated skin as Lexa curled up a little, as much as she was able to at least and reached out for Clarke's head, threading her fingers trough blonde tresses to try and move her away. Clarke just swatted at her and ducked out of the way.

 

Lexa glanced down at her and tried her best at a reprimanding glare but at best it was half a pout, the best the Commander could muster in her lethargic state. Clarke was discovering a whole load of new facial expressions and was loving every single one. She honestly had no idea Lexa could be this adorable and what was even better was the fact that she supposed she was one of the very few who knew it.

 

Clarke fell off of Lexa just to her one side and pushed her face into the curve of Lexa's side at her waist, hiding as much as she could from Lexa's protective hands. Honestly though Lexa wasn't trying all that hard and when Clarke fell to her side with the biggest of mischievous grins on her face, it only made her gaze at Clarke with more affection than she was already.

 

Clarke licked at her lips and when she spoke it was against Lexa's skin, the bottom part of her face hidden by the Commander's ribs and the arm she wasn't lying on was strewn across Lexa's abs, her thumb idly stroking into the dip at her opposite side. "Sensitive there, Commander?" Clarke asked in a whisper, a massive helping of knowing in her tone and her eyes keeping hold of that glint.

 

Lexa's lips were caught somewhere between a smirk and a grin. "I believe you have found that out, Clarke," she murmured as she ran her fingers again through Clarke's hair.

 

Clarke chucked against her ribs before she pulled back, pushing herself up onto her elbow. "It's only fair," she started, her eyes dropping to the Commander's chest. "You discovered most of mine last night."

 

Lexa raised a brow. "Most?"

 

Clarke glanced to the ceiling as if she was considering it. "Yeah," she grinned, "there's probably some more exploring you could do."

 

Lexa's eyes flashed with the challenge and her expression took on some more of its usual fervour but instead she reached down and pulled Clarke up a little so they were pressed torso to torso, before Lexa then leaned in towards Clarke's lips. "Smuch ai op fos," she said under her breath, her eyes once more darkening with intent.

 

All of Lexa's attention became focused on Clarke's lips which more or less helped Clarke to gather her meaning and when their lips met, Clarke instantly felt the heat stir again in her gut, a yearning not quite satisfied starting to kindle between her legs.

 

Lexa kissed her slowly and meticulously, her whole body feeling wonderfully delirious and although she knew she should get up, that she should probably already be downstairs going over what the war meeting would later entail with Dax, Luna and Pius there was no way she was leaving this bed until Clarke came again. Preferably twice.

 

Lexa brought her thigh up as she deepened the kiss, licking her tongue inside Clarke's mouth and groaning as she tasted herself there, Clarke feeling the power of it too as she unashamedly ground herself down onto Lexa's thigh, sucking her tongue into her mouth at the same time and releasing such a needy moan she felt her throat vibrate with it.

 

"Fuck," Clarke gasped as she pulled back a little, her teeth biting down hard on her lower lip as Lexa grasped onto Clarke's hips, applying pressure downwards onto them as she tensed her thigh and pushed it up. "Jesus!"

 

Lexa grunted, her jaw dropping open as she breathed out heavily, her eyes taking in the gloriously wanton expression on Clarke's face as her thigh came into contact with an inexplicable amount of wetness. "Toli woda," the Commander gasped, her heart thudding at such an incessant rate against her ribcage.

 

Clarke couldn't help it. She slammed her palm against the intricate wooden headboard as she threw her hair back over her shoulder with a solid flick of her head, her back arching as her clit pulsed hard against Lexa's thigh. Her heartbeat thundered and she groaned loudly, Lexa bringing a hand up and massaging her fingers around Clarke's ample, heaving cleavage.

 

"Fuck," Clarke pushed out again, her eyes closed tight as sensation after sensation coursed through her body. She felt like she was on fire and when Lexa's lips closed around her straining, erect nipple she couldn't hope to stop the shuddering that erupted through her chest. "Lexa..." she whispered hoarsely, and before she could work out what was happening her back came crashing into contact with the mattress and it felt all of a sudden like Lexa was absolutely _everywhere_.

 

Clarke could feel her lips and fingers everywhere; at every place that Lexa _knew_ drove her crazy and even more besides. Her teeth leaving marks at her neck, down her chest and along her sides while her fingers simultaneously pushed hard into the backs of her thighs. It was exhilarating, so much all at once and Clarke moaned greedily for more.

 

"Yu non badas," Lexa murmured between kisses, her fingers getting impatient as her lips savoured every inch of Clarke's skin. Lexa loved her taste, and she eagerly wanted to taste more of her.

 

Clarke felt like she was going to explode, already being exceptionally turned on before Lexa even started. "Lex, please..." Clarke begged; she needed to come and she wanted the Commander inside her when she did.

 

Lexa really didn't need further encouragement so she lowered herself between Clarke's legs and immediately closed her lips around Clarke's soaking wet clit, the groan Clarke let out practically ear-splitting.

 

"Fuck yes!" she exclaimed as she pushed her head into the pillows, her back arching a little so she could push herself further into the touch.

 

Lexa didn't waste any time, her tongue setting to work quickly darting back and forth over Clarke's clit as she pushed two long fingers inside her, curling them forwards and rubbing against that spot she knew was there.

 

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Clarke lost her hand in Lexa's hair and gripped against the back of her head as waves of pleasure began shooting through her body, thundering along her spine and exploding in her chest as every muscle started to tremble. She couldn't even concentrate she was that mindless, having absolutely no idea where she could feel it more but then her stomach clenched and her gut started to turn in on itself and she knew she was gone. "There, Lex, there!" she tried to shout, her voice so high pitched she wasn't even sure the Commander would hear it.

 

Lexa did though, and as she felt Clarke's body still for half a second, resting tumultuously on that mind-bending precipice she glanced up to witness the emotions run riot across Clarke's beautiful face and then she came; hard and fast and like she'd been steamrolled into another world.

 

Clarke clenched around Lexa's fingers and refused to let them go, riding out her orgasm as she felt Lexa's tongue go back to her clit, gently though this time and lovingly as Clarke's entire being shook in blinding pleasure, her mutterings now incoherent.

 

Lexa smiled as she kissed her intimately, moving her fingers slowly so not to cause Clarke any discomfort as she rode out her orgasm. She kissed her again though, as Clarke's moans were ones of languid approval and as Lexa moved down a little and licked against Clarke's entrance, bringing her tongue up in one tantalising and horrendously slow motion through the last of Clarke's wetness and applied just the right amount of pressure over her quivering clit, Clarke screamed out and started to shudder all over again.

 

**

 

Clarke just lay there, lethargic and boneless and like her mind didn't even want to work again. She wanted to stay there forever and she was pretty certain Lexa would let her. Her chest was heaving and her body completely numb, the tingling sensation not even beginning to leave her limbs as Lexa crawled her way back up her body, dropping breathy kisses to her skin along the way.

 

When she got there Lexa was panting, her heart thumping like it wanted to escape her chest and she was pretty sure her limbs were shaking. She rested her forehead against Clarke's and closed her eyes, breathing in steadily to try and calm down. It was difficult though and she licked at her lips as she breathed heavily through her mouth.

 

Clarke really liked Lexa being on top of her. Of being able to feel every inch of her in contact with her skin. She was still shuddering from the after effects of her orgasm and feeling how much it affected Lexa too only drew it out more. Clarke was humming a little, small satisfied sounds coming out as she breathed and she began drawing soft patterns down either side of Lexa's spine with her fingers now she was settled over her.

 

She felt like she was floating, sort of, her mind reeling and having trouble making sense of what her body was telling her. She felt spaced a little dizzy so she let Lexa rest against her forehead, relishing in the closeness of the intimate gesture as a goofy smile spread across her face. "Good morning, Lexa," she whispered, her fingers finding their way to back of Lexa's neck and playing in the small hairs there.

 

Lexa grinned, her breathing still quite ragged. "Os son op, Klark," she whispered back, making Clarke chuckle a little beneath her.

 

Lexa opened her eyes then, bringing her hand up from where she was leaning it against the bed so she could brush Clarke's hair back from the side of her face and behind her ear. Lexa's grin was wide and she didn't think she'd felt this happy in, well... years. She released a resounding sigh as Clarke's chuckle turned into a hum before she moved to lean her weight on her one side, her free hand coming up to trace her index finger along Clarke's jaw.

 

"You look like you want to say something," Clarke decided, the grin spreading across her face. Lexa's eyes were like endless depths right then and she was more than happy to get lost in them.

 

Lexa dropped her gaze to Clarke's lips for a second before she flicked it back up again. There were many things she wanted to say but far fewer she felt like she _could_ say. The easiest option was not to say them at all and so she just leaned forwards and softly kissed her again.

 

It made Clarke release another chuckle, her hand coming round from Lexa's back and moving up to rest against her collar bone. She moved her palm against the Commander's skin there gently. "Okay," Clarke said in a low rumble, "maybe talking wasn't on your mind."

 

Lexa smiled as she pulled back and she really, really, wanted nothing more to stay there in bed all day with Clarke but she knew she couldn't. It was something, though, because it had been years and years since she'd wanted to laze in bed for any reason at all. All she could do, though, was gaze down at Clarke's beautiful, contemplative expression as her blue eyes followed her fingers as they moved across her collar bone and into the dip at the base of her throat.

 

Clarke pulled in a breath and pushed it out softly against the side of Lexa's neck. "You're going to say we've got to get up, aren't you?"

 

Lexa swallowed and followed it with a shallow nod, the resulting furrow in Clarke's brow absolutely adorable. "We must," she replied after a moment, her voice barely even there.

 

Clarke sighed heavily and let her shoulders flop a little in defeat, catching her bottom lip between her teeth before she let it go. "Back to reality, huh?"

 

Lexa sighed too and dipped her head so she could tuck her nose into the side of Clarke's neck, moving it upwards to nudge behind her ear. "Deyon mou beda gon ai stomba raun kom yu."

  
Clarke wriggled as Lexa started to suck on her earlobe, her hand pushing against Lexa's shoulder in a half-hearted protest before she sucked more intently causing Clarke to yelp, just a little.

 

Lexa pulled back and couldn't help but laugh a bit, too.  
   
Clarke cleared her throat and swatted playfully against Lexa's shoulder. "I still don't know what you're saying, you know," she said as the shivers shooting down her side caused by Lexa's lips began to subside.  
   
Lexa grinned and then planted a quick kiss on the tip of Clarke's nose before she rolled over and got up off the bed. She stood in front of the brickwork just to the side of her bed where the sun bathed her in its light before she arched her back and stretched her whole body, her arms reaching up and her fingers extending to their full lengths.

 

Clarke continued to lie there and just take the Commander in, in all her naked glory. When Lexa turned back she was barely concealing a yawn, her fingers scratching at her hip before she smiled sleepily at the sight of Clarke all sex-sore with her sheets gathered messily around her hips.

 

Clarke rested her cheek in her palm as she leaned her weight on her elbow. "Still tired?" she asked with a smile.

 

The Commander licked her hips and rubbed her palm a couple times up the side of her face. "Yesterday was a long day," she said casually, picking up her boots from the foot of the bed and taking them over to the sofa.

 

"And a long night," Clarke teased, biting on her bottom lip.

 

"Yes," Lexa said with a smirk as she walked back over to the bed and lowered her voice to a hushed, suggestive tone. "You are loud," she whispered, her lips curling up as she replayed the sounds in her mind, swallowing at the resulting clench in her gut. Clarke however blushed and turned her gaze to the sheets in front of her making Lexa step closer. "I like it."

 

After a moment Clarke glanced up and met Lexa's gaze, the playfulness in them evident and Clarke's smile lit back up. "Yeah, well," she pouted, "you made me loud."

 

Lexa adopted an awfully smug expression as she grabbed a few items of clothing from the floor and carried them over to the sofa, dumping them on the armchair before she went to her closet and pulled out some clean boxers and a black vest.

 

"Wait," Clarke said after a moment, a feeling of dread suddenly occupying her chest. "You don't think the guards would have heard, do you?"

 

Lexa chuckled at the amount of worry evident in Clarke's tone as it certainly hadn't been a concern for her the night before or just now, for that matter. She pulled the vest over her head as she took a few steps into the centre of the room. "The door isn't that thick, Clarke."

 

Clarke was struck with a sense of panic at the prospect, not really sure how she felt about all of Lexa's guards knowing what they were up to last night and this morning. She swallowed awkwardly and then noticed the amusement in Lexa's expression.

 

"Well," Clarke started as she quirked her brow, "maybe they're used to loud noises coming from the Commander's bedroom."

 

Lexa raised an eyebrow at the obvious teasing and pulled her lips into a thin smirk. "Are you implying I take many women to my bed, Clarke? Is that what you think of me?"

 

Clarke could tell by Lexa's face that she wasn't offended so thought she'd push her luck further. "Well, I'm sure you've have no shortage of volunteers," she sassed.

 

Lexa's smug face quickly returned so Clarke threw a pillow at her. "You don't have to look so pleased with yourself," she mumbled a little bit, thinking about whether or not she really wanted to know the answer. She paused for a moment. "So have you?"

 

Lexa quickly stepped into her boxers. "Have I what?"

 

Clarke sighed and rolled her eyes. "You know."

 

Lexa tilted her head and was about to answer but Clarke cut in before she could.

 

"Wait, no, don't tell me," Clarke backtracked, as if she was battling with herself. "Or do... No, don't."

 

Lexa just glared at her. "Clarke, do not ask questions if you do not wish to know the answers."

 

Clarke smiled a little at Lexa's reprimanding tone. "I want to know."

 

Lexa raised her eyebrows as if she figured she would change her mind again.

 

"Okay," Clarke sighed, dropping her upper body back down on the bed. "But is it a lot?"

 

They were both saved the conversation when an abrupt knock came on the door. Lexa turned her attention toward it and stood as regally as she could, seeing as she was more or less just in her underwear. "Min op," she called out in a flat tone.

 

Clarke heard the door handle begin to rattle and assumed Lexa hadn't just ordered whoever it was to go away. "Lexa!" she breathed loudly as she reached down and grabbed the sheet that was by her hip and pulled it over herself. "Oh my God."

 

Lexa looked over to her not really seeing the problem but enjoying witnessing her scramble beneath the sheets all the same. "Clarke," she deadpanned, "half the tower will know where you spent the night and early morning."

 

Clarke gawped at Lexa astounded as the door opened and Pius came in. She seriously hoped she hadn't been loud enough that half the _epically_ huge tower would've heard her... Lexa must have been joking, or at least so she hoped.

 

Pius barged into the room and nodded his head before Lexa. "Heda," he addressed her respectfully before he noticed the additional person in the Commander's bed. He paused when he saw who it was and then very awkwardly averted his gaze, clearing his throat a little as his gaze hit the floor at Lexa's feet. "Wanheda," he muttered, as much as his shock would allow him to. He looked back up at Lexa. "Biyo moba kom ai don min klin-"

 

"-Gonasleng, Pius," Lexa instructed. "Clarke's ears are friendly."

 

"Very well." Pius coughed again, clearly thrown by what he was seeing and looking like he really wanted to be anywhere but where he was. "You wanted to know when Indra arrived; she has just passed through the Polis gates."

 

"Good," Lexa responded in her usual clipped tone, her hands now clasped behind her back. "Tell her to visit the banquet hall, she must be hungry after riding all night. I will be with her shortly."

 

"Yes, Heda," he responded with a nod of his head, pausing awkwardly for a moment before he carried on. "The floor below us is now back to how it was; the guest bedrooms are ready to be used once more." His eyes flicked to Clarke for a moment before he pulled them away again, blinking somewhat rapidly.

 

Lexa nodded. "Good. Thank you, Pius."

 

Pius bowed his head again and then left much more quickly than when he walked in.

 

Lexa simply raised a brow and turned, moving over to her clothes on the armchair to assess how much repairing the handmaidens would need to do.

 

Clarke was still in shock that Lexa allowed Pius in the room in the first place with her still in bed and quite clearly naked. Obviously Lexa didn't care one way or the other what Pius thought about last night's activities, either that or she really was loud enough for a few floors to now be aware of it. Pius' words were also still lingering in her mind. She raised herself up on both elbows with a slight frown on her face. "Did he just informally tell you to send me back to my room?"

 

Lexa grinned. "Pius is not accustomed to seeing women in my bed," she replied, her lips forming a small smirk. "Contrary to whatever you may think."

 

Clarke flushed a little but actually felt much easier knowing that fact. "So uhmm, you let him in here with me like this just to see the expression on his face?"

 

Lexa grinned rather wickedly. She knew the visitor would be Pius before he even entered the room. He was the only person ever to be granted access to her chambers before she had properly risen for the day but of course Clarke didn't know that. A Commander had to get her kicks somehow, after all, and honestly they were fairly few and far between. She nodded, having very much enjoyed the disturbed look that crossed her advisors face. "And yours."

 

Clarke launched another pillow at her but Lexa easily dodged it. "You're evil, Heda."

 

Lexa chuckled a little as she walked toward her bathroom. "I recommend you get dressed."

 

Clarke sighed. "Time for war planning?"

 

"Yes," Lexa replied, "and you are needed for that. I will not be long," she finished as she rounded the corner at the back and to the left of her bed.

 

Clarke sighed and begrudgingly got out of bed, her whole demeanour feeling a whole lot lighter than the day before, it was just a shame her limbs didn't feel the same way. She stretched a little as she walked over to where her pants were flung the night before and grimaced a bit as she bent down to pick them up. She ached, and her thighs literally hurt but she wasn't about to complain; she felt absolutely amazing.

 

She smiled lazily as she picked up the rest of Lexa's clothes too, draping them across the bed as she stopped at the bottom of it and started putting her bra on before she pulled on her shirt over her messy hair. She combed her fingers through it a few times trying to tame it before she pushed it behind her ears, deciding that would just have to do. She wondered briefly how the hell this war meeting was going to go and it promptly started souring her mood so she sighed as she grabbed her pants from the bed and held them up so she could inspect them. Grounder pants certainly were complicated. Well, not really, but definitely more intricate that the pants she feel to Earth in. There seemed to be a lot of zips and buckles for absolutely no reason, and extra padding in places that really didn't need it. Clarke just frowned at them, thinking is was a much preferable thing to ponder over than how many of her people could possibly die in this upcoming war.

 

She was still frowning at them when Lexa rounded the wall and came back into the room, freshly scrubbed and holding a spare pair of boxers in her hand. She stopped abruptly across the other side of the bed when she noticed what Clarke was doing, furrowing her brow too in response and then her eyebrows travelled up her head as something struck her. "Did I rip them?" she asked, quietly concerned.

 

Clarke looked at her. "What?"

 

Something about Clarke's bewildered expression made Lexa smile. She pointed at Clarke's pants. "Your clothes. Are they ripped?"

 

"Oh," Clarke caught on. She swallowed as she lowered the pants in front of her. "No," she said as she shook her head. "I was just uhmm..." she trailed off, not knowing what to say.

 

Lexa's eyes widened a little. "Examining them?"

 

"Yeah," Clarke smiled, in part at Lexa's obvious amusement. She tried to look a little more serious. "They're just complicated."

 

Lexa shook her head as she grinned, once again wondering if the other clan leaders would still fear the great Wanheda if they knew she thought clothing was complicated. It was then she noticed Clarke was still naked from the waist down and was glad she brought the clean boxers with her. She threw them so they landed neatly just in front of Clarke on the still tousled sheets of the bed.

 

Clarke looked at the boxers and then up at Lexa.

 

"I thought you may like some clean ones," the Commander shrugged, her eyes quickly retreating from Clarke as she grabbed the remainder of her outfit from the bed, everything apart from her coat.

 

While Clarke certainly was appreciative, and as she smiled at Lexa as she strode across the room to her wardrobe it struck her all of a sudden at how _domestic_ it all was, and it quickly became too much to process. "Thank you," Clarke replied with a cough, pulling the boxers on as fast as she could and then once more fumbling with her grounder pants.

 

Lexa sat on her sofa and started pulling on her boots having donned a fresh pair of pants of her own. She felt it too, the _normalcy_ of it, or the normalcy it could become and she suddenly felt all hot around the collar. It wasn't the time to think about it, she deduced, pulling rather tightly at the laces of her boot, the heel of which was propped against the edge of the sofa and her leg bent at the knee so she could still glance at Clarke out of the corner of her eye. She was still regarding her pants as if they were some kind of puzzle but then finally she pushed her legs into them and started pulling them on.

 

The Commander grinned slightly before she steeled herself, getting to her feet with a big exhale of breath as she closed the space between them. There was something important she wanted to say but knew it would alter the mood considerably.

 

Lexa stopped in front of Clarke as she flexed her legs a little, getting used to the stretchiness of the pants. They were comfortable once they were on but getting them to sit right was a pain in the ass Clarke had come to realise, so she bent her knees a couple of times and then met Lexa's serious expression.

 

Lexa though, was finding it hard to stay on point. "Comfortable?" she asked at Clarke's rather uncomfortable face.

 

Clarke just sighed. "I don't get all the..." she trailed off, again, as Lexa raised a brow. "...Extra bits of material," she decided to settle on in the end.

 

Lexa looked down at the pants, her steeliness slipping as Clarke really did wear them well. "They are there for a reason, Clarke," she said, trying to keep the amusement from her tone.

 

"A reason?" Clarke responded, her eyebrow shooting upwards too. "To stick in places they really... shouldn't?"

 

Lexa couldn't help but grin, at that. She crouched down in front of Clarke and it was all Clarke could do to stop herself from feeling an instant spark of arousal. She swallowed and sucked in a shallow breath as Lexa started touching her where the extra pieces of material were. First just above her ankles and then around her knees.

 

"These were to help with your injury," Lexa started softly, her eyes following her fingers as they traced around the back of Clarke's once injured knees.

 

There was a hint of regret in Lexa's voice as she said it and it tugged at Clarke's heart, a little bit, but before she could say anything the Commander's hands continued on their journey northward and up Clarke's thighs, clearly not wanting to dwell on it.

 

That particular ache in Clarke's chest was quickly replaced by a very _different_ kind of ache as Lexa's fingers seemed to move painfully slower the closer they got to the tops of Clarke's legs. She swallowed heavily and fidgeted momentarily as they finally came to settle on the thin layer of padding that began at the front and then swept around the inside and to the back of her thighs.

 

"No injury there," Clarke breathed, her heart rate steadily increasing.

 

"No," Lexa replied, not taking her eyes from the padding. "This is very important," she then said as her eyes flicked up to Clarke's. It would lead very nicely into the thing she wanted to discuss with her, and Lexa just looked at her for a moment before she reached down to her belt and pulled a thin metal blade out from behind it. It was no longer than three inches and so thin it was barely there at all but it was sharp, that much was evident by the way the light was catching it.

 

Clarke swallowed as she frowned; this was certainly going a different way to where she thought it was going a few moments ago.

 

"A throwing blade," Lexa said, twirling it between her fingers as if that was all the explanation Clarke needed. Lexa broke eye contact and concerned herself again with the padding at Clarke's thighs, moving the blade toward it which immediately made Clarke fidget where she stood. Lexa however held her steady. "It can be concealed here," she continued, expertly tucking the weapon within the padding on Clarke's left thigh. "You will not feel it but remember it is there," she finished as she got to her feet and gazed at Clarke's intrigued expression.

 

Clarke was busy moving and flexing her thigh to try and feel the blade but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't, a small smile finding its way to her lips with how impressed she was. "That's surprisingly..." she trailed off as she looked at Lexa. "...Not uncomfortable."

 

"It is not your comfort I am concerned about," Lexa said with a whole lot more authority than she intended. "Never reveal that weapon to your enemy-"

 

"-I assume you're referring to the blade?" Clarke joked but instantly curbed it when Lexa didn't even grin. Clarke cleared her throat. "What if I'm about to be killed?"

 

Lexa just eyed her. "Then you may," she carried on. "But always wait for the element of surprise." Then she walked over to the side table and returned with her dagger still in its sheath and two straps attached to that. Lexa had wanted to talk to Clarke about protecting herself should she need to last night but obviously other things got in the way and so now was the only opportunity she had left.

 

Clarke just raised her eyebrows at how serious Lexa was being and watched as the Commander unsheathed the dagger and held it up at her side.

 

"This is not a sword," Lexa began, and Clarke really couldn't help her small grin.

 

"Really?" Clarke asked sarcastically and Lexa just glared at her even more.

 

"Do not treat it as such."

 

Clarke honestly wondered if the Commander was about to give her a combat lesson right there in the bedroom, it seriously looked as though it stood a good chance so Clarke took in a breath and paid attention.

 

"Use it like this to parry and slice at your opponent. There is more control over the blade and its direction." She swiped it a few times as if to demonstrate. "The neck is best. Do not push in too much, just enough to sever the windpipe."

 

Clarke nodded and then Lexa dropped down to one knee and started strapping the dagger to Clarke's thigh.

 

"Right," Clarke breathed, suddenly feeling a lot more serious than a few minutes ago. Lexa tightened the straps and then stood back up, looking at Clarke once again. "That's your dagger," she said, the reality that she may really have to know how to use it in combat sinking in.

 

"I have many," Lexa answered quickly. "You must be careful."

 

Clarke's brow furrowed a little. "I will," she sighed and then she frowned some more. "So what if I lose the dagger? Throw it at someone and can't get it back?"

 

Lexa raised an eyebrow deciding she had ruined the mood enough for the moment. "Then never leave Zeek's side."

 

Clarke scoffed, at that. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

 

Lexa let a small smile form on her lips but to be fair she wasn't entirely joking. She would be much happier if Clarke allowed Zeek _and_ a few others to be with her constantly. "Clarke-"

 

She knew exactly where Lexa's train of thought was going so she cut her off before she could form a sentence. "-Actually I don't think I could lose Zeek even if I wanted to. The guys like my shadow."

 

Lexa's smile got a little wider. "Good," she responded, happy enough that Clarke wasn't telling her that she no longer wanted Zeek's protection.

 

"You know," Clarke began as she looked away. "I can look after myself. I managed to pretty well before, remember?"

 

Lexa knew the implication was Mount Weather, of course she did, and she could see that Clarke didn't particularly want to bring it up but she needed to in order to make her point. Lexa lifted her chin a little and was instantly reminded that just because Clarke was here and with her, it didn't mean that she was suddenly hers to protect. She breathed out and let some of her posture fall away, too. She of course knew that Clarke was capable, but she also knew that Nia was after her now, and had been ever since the fall of Mount Weather, perhaps, and that meant anyone could come for her, at any time and from anywhere, and it wasn't just reduced to the few who ventured from the Mountain in those strange suits.

 

Lexa nodded minutely, knowing she wouldn't get anywhere in forcing protection that Clarke wouldn't want but she also knew that it was necessary, even more so after last night. "Please, Clarke," she said quietly, the look of pleading never so clear in her expressive green eyes. "Just to be safe."

 

Clarke was satisfied she got her point across and to be honest, she didn't mind having Zeek around. She liked him and he was growing more on her by the day and he certainly wasn't bad to have around in an emergency; he had proved that a few times over. "Okay," she acquiesced with a small sigh, "if you're certain there's still a risk."

 

Lexa would be certain of it even if Nia wasn't an issue but that was something for another day. "I am certain," she confirmed with a little more authority in her tone before she strapped the dagger to Clarke's thigh.

 

Once finished she stood up and cleared the tension from her lungs with a deep breath as she pushed her shoulders back, readying herself to leave the room and face the rest of her day. She had a feeling it would be another long one. "I must meet with Indra," Lexa said as she reached around Clarke and picked up her coat from the bed, slipping it over her shoulders in long, practiced motion.

 

Clarke nodded her head, not particularly wanting the day to start itself properly but knowing that unfortunately it must. She sighed, not really wanting to have to share Lexa with the rest of the world either, for that matter, but that she couldn't afford to spend too much time dwelling on that so she just nodded and watched as Lexa freed her hair from beneath the collar of her coat.

 

"I will see you in the throne room later," the Commander added softly as she took a not so confident step into Clarke's personal space, her hand dropping after a moment to Clarke's hip.

 

It was strange seeing Lexa struggling to find a balance between being herself and being the Commander, and by strange she of course meant exceptionally cute. It was clear Lexa was preparing herself for the role she now had to play and Clarke could only assume the Lexa she had shown her last night was one she usually kept hidden away. The Lexa in front of her now was letting snippets of the Commander bleed through and it was completely endearing and a little weird all at once. Seeing Lexa naked and vulnerable last night and now once again in her usual Heda get up was just, surreal, but not altogether in a bad way. It was confusing, so Clarke again just nodded her head.

 

"Okay," Clarke responded with a small smile.

 

Lexa smiled too and then leaned in, pausing for a moment to give Clarke the chance to back away but when she didn't, Lexa closed the rest of the distance and kissed her chastely on the lips.

 

"Ste kefa," Lexa uttered before she moved to the door.

 

Clarke grinned as she looked after her, thinking that Lexa was likely doing this whole Trigedasleng thing on purpose, now. "You're not allowed to speak Trigedasleng to me until I can understand it!"

 

Lexa turned before she backed out of the door, a wide grin gracing her lips. "Then learn it," she offered as the door closed behind her.

 

Clarke sighed as she glanced around the room, it suddenly taking on a sense of emptiness now the Commander was gone. Her gaze fell to the bed and she quickly felt a warmth spread through her chest as images from last night shot through her mind. She coughed abruptly, not thinking that would prepare her very well for the day ahead and so she turned for the door, her stomach reminding her that she hadn't eaten and was in fact, starving.

 

She pulled open the door to find a number of guards all standing to attention outside and lining the hallway to the elevator, Zeek quickly glancing at her from half way down the hall. Clarke straightened her shoulders and walked over to him, adopting an authority she didn't exactly feel wondering how many of them had heard her and Lexa last night, and this morning too, for that matter.

 

She pushed it out of her mind as she stopped in front of Zeek however when he didn't immediately meet her gaze the exact same thoughts came flooding back again. Still, she knew she couldn't let it get to her so she cleared her throat and tried her best to act like it wasn't the only thing she could think about.

 

"I'm starving," Clarke said quietly, and that's when Zeek tilted his head to look at her. "Have you had breakfast?"

 

"Yes," he replied after a moment, his expression giving away absolutely nothing at all. "There will still be food if you wish to eat."

 

Clarke gave him a nod and they both began to walk down the hall, side by side and the silence of the vast corridor had never been as loud as Clarke was feeling it in that moment. It was ridiculous, but she felt embarrassed and struck by an overwhelming urge to fill the unbearable silence. It reminded her of how quiet the corridor on her floor had been the night before and she really didn't like it.

 

"Are you okay?" she asked as she looked at Zeek for want of having anything better to say and also the medic in her wanted to know how his injuries were.

 

Then his expressions were back and he glanced down at her curiously. "I am well," he responded as if he was completely unused to being asked that question. They reached the elevator doors and the attendant there called the lift. "I am healing," Zeek added as they came to a stop.

 

"That's good," Clarke smiled, still feeling rather awkward. Zeek had probably spent the night in a lot of pain thanks to his heroics and she and Lexa had spent quite a bit of it having sex. Rather loud sex, as well. She would have to make a considerable effort to not be as loud in future, if such a thing would be in her future, of course, and then she felt her cheeks heat up all over again. "I'm glad you're okay," she finished, staring at the door in front of her.

 

"I am glad you are okay as well," Zeek said after a moment, and it made Clarke smile.

 

She looked at him again. "That's because of you," she said with every bit of sincerity she could find. "Thank you."

 

Zeek was still staring at the door but he nodded in recognition of her words. He took a long moment before he looked down at Clarke again. "Did you thank Heda too?"

 

Clarke blinked a few times before she stared blankly at him, trying rather uselessly to decipher his meaning. "What?" she asked when she came up with nothing. Damn grounders and their poker faces. He must have been kidding, right?

 

"Heda," Zeek responded as if it was obvious. "She fought too. Did you thank her?"

 

Clarke was still blinking. He seemed genuine enough but surely he had to be making fun of her. She looked further into his eyes but couldn't see any hint of humour and so she just licked her lips, turning to look at the doors again as they opened. "Yeah," she finally answered. "I uhm... thanked her." She honestly wished she had the silence back.

 

They stepped onto the lift and as they turned around to face the closing doors she saw Zeek's lips twitch up at her discomfort and it was all she could do to stop herself from elbowing him in the ribs. She scoffed as she pushed her tongue against the back of her teeth and shook her head, knowing she was going to have to get him back for that, at some point, but then she remembered there was something a little more pressing that she needed to get on with.

 

"Zeek," Clarke began, her tone earning a glance from him and then her brow furrowed. "What does 'tombon' mean?"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Translations. **
> 
> 'Houmon'.  
>  _Spouse._
> 
> 'Ai hai Heda'.  
>  _Expression similar to: 'Oh my God'._
> 
> "Klark...beja."  
>  _"Clarke...please."_
> 
> "Uhh..helasha."  
>  _"Uhh..hell yeah."_
> 
> "Sha Klark."  
>  _"Yes, Clarke."_
> 
> "Sha, ai gaf yu der in, beja. Ona ai."  
>  _"Yes, I need you there, please. Inside me."_
> 
> "Smuch ai op fos."  
>  _"Kiss me first."_
> 
> "Toli woda."  
>  _"So, so wet."_
> 
> "Yu non badas."  
>  _"You taste wonderful."_ (Okay I took some liberties here. 'Tasty' is 'non-non' so I reduced the word as really, 'non-non' in that context is not going to sound sexy and it'd ruin the flow, lol. I'm aware 'non' means 'no one' but ya know, just go with it!)
> 
> "Os son op, Klark."  
>  _"Good morning, Clarke."_ (Yeah, I made this one up).
> 
> "Deyon mou beda gon ai don stomba raun kom yu."  
>  _"The day is better because I woke up with you."_
> 
> "Min op."  
>  _"Enter."_
> 
> "Biyo moba kom ai don min klin-"  
>  _"Pardon my intrusion-"_
> 
> 'Gonasleng'.  
>  _English._
> 
> "Ste kefa."  
>  _"Be careful."_
> 
> 'Tombon'.  
>  _Heart._


	15. fitin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa's mind gets distracted and Zeek enjoys teasing Clarke. Lots of war planning and lots of Lexa wondering whether starting something with Clarke was the right thing to do. Pius and Indra talk, then Pius confronts Lexa and her feelings for Clarke. Lexa and Clarke share several moments and decide if they should move their relationship forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo Survival 2 was fun! :) If anyone was there I was the one walking around in the Ontari cosplay :) Rhiannon is sooo lovely, really. She wins the loveliness award ;)
> 
> Ok - thanks for the continuing support for this story! I appreciate all the feedback I get. As always you can leave me a comment here or send me a msg on [Twitter](http://twitter.com/talented_gemx) or [Tumblr](http://talentedgemx.tumblr.com). I'm always happy to hear from you and have Clexa conversations :) For everyone who celebrates, I hope you had a good Easter.

Lexa was being very, very un-Heda like. She knew she was and that's what made it worse. Not on the outside of course. On the outside she was regal and commanding, projecting an air of respect and authority just as she always did. Inside though was a different story altogether. Inside she was reliving her night with Clarke in all its intricate glory and not at all paying attention to Indra and the current state of relations with Skaikru.

 

Very un-Heda like indeed.

 

To begin with she listened though, of course. She paid attention to all the pertinent issues as Indra laid them out. Placement of the army around Camp Jaha and various splinter groups positioned further out. Indra's brief and antagonistic interactions with Abby Griffin; who of which being the most antagonistic was anyone's guess. How, in Indra's opinion, ill prepared the camp was generally for life on the ground since she'd had a chance to inspect it, reluctantly of course at the Chancellor's request. Indra surmised their medical facility had something to offer, as did the one called 'Reivon' who spoke without respect but who had more intelligence than the rest of Skaikru put together, seeming to be the only person on the whole metal structure who was aware of how anything worked.

 

It was then that Lexa drifted off, her eyes glazing over as all that wandered into her mind was the softness of blonde hair and the depths of shimmering blue eyes...

 

Not that Lexa was overly romantic or anything. Nor was she anything close to a poet or easily enraptured by beauty or the memory of a gentle touch. Not now, anyway. Such things used to affect her years before, and she would struggle to suppress what they could do to her. This was before she became Heda, though. Before her training was put into practice and she became so much harder. Before her decisions started wars and incited bloodshed. Before Costia, of course. Long before the loss of Costia.

 

Lexa had forgotten how these things went and it seemed true of a lot of things since Costia died, Lexa was now realising. Clarke pulled at her chest before, that much was obvious but certainly not like she did now. Not since last night. Now Lexa felt elated, on top of the world and even a little smug, if she was honest but she also felt guilty. Selfish. Uncertain and maybe even afraid. It was difficult not to instantly fear the worst, of history repeating itself and Lexa knew at least two people who would be quick to point this out.

 

One of them was giving her the side-eye right then and Lexa was reluctant to meet his gaze. Pius didn't like her relationship with Costia so she was ready for his rant about Clarke. Not that she would let him deter her. Pius advised, he didn't instruct, regardless of what he might say to the contrary. Luna would say something too, Lexa knew, if she was astute enough to pick up on it and in all her years Lexa had yet to successfully keep anything from her. Her childhood friend just happened to be annoying like that.

 

Before, Anya and Gustus were there to snap her out of such things and keep her mind on matters at hand rather than on pretty girls with captivating smiles and sparkling eyes. They were always able to read the subtle changes Lexa's expressions however now they were gone. Indra was here though, and Lexa supposed she could read her just as well but Lexa knew at least she wouldn't comment on it, unless it directly affected their people. Pius and Luna though wouldn't have such reservations.

 

Lexa sighed as her attention settled back on her general and she started to listen once more to what she was saying. Indra did know her, didn't she? So maybe she could see. Maybe she was seeing through the Commander right there and then as Lexa tried to catch onto the subject. Maybe Lexa wasn't giving her enough credit; Indra had known her since she was a small child after all, running around TonDC and falling into the mud so maybe she understood all too well the soft set of Lexa's eyes when her thoughts turned to Clarke, instead of the aloof and practiced steeliness that usually went with war briefings.

 

Lexa straightened as she pondered it, watching with a raised brow and mild curiosity as Indra lifted up a small rectangular black box and then held it out between them. All she did however was return Lexa's questioning look and when a brief silence ensued Lexa knew she had missed whatever it was Indra said about it.

 

"Are you well, Heda?" Indra asked, still holding up the box. "You seem preoccupied."

 

Lexa swallowed, clearly underestimating what her general would or would not miss but then she was thrown a lifeline.

 

"Is it your leg?"

 

Lexa was immediately relieved and she quickly glanced down at her leg as if only just remembering it was injured, though the wound no longer bothered her.

 

"Perhaps it is the lack of sleep..." Pius mumbled an interruption causing Lexa to turn to him and fix him with a stern, reprimanding glare. Pius just dropped his gaze however still managed to look irritated.

 

Lexa clenched her jaw. "Thank you, Pius," she responded evenly if not flatly, letting her old teacher know anything further from him on the subject wouldn't be tolerated. She turned back to Indra. "My leg is fine, thank you, Indra," she returned, her tone softening a little. "Your concern is appreciated. Tell me about the box."

 

Indra detested repeating herself but deemed this occasion to be an exception. Lexa did seem slightly off kilter but she had suffered an eventful week or so, Dax having filled her in on the attack on the tower the night before. "Reivon informed me it is for communication," Indra responded, looking at the box with an air of disgust as she did when it was originally handed to her. "How this is so I am uncertain. The Chancellor said it would be useful."

 

"Is that so?" Lexa enquired as her brow remained cocked, Indra just shrugging in place of offering anything further so Lexa took a step forward for a closer look at the strange object. She exhaled a breath, not certain how she felt about Skaikru equipping her people with their technology, regardless of how 'useful' it may prove to be. Lexa cleared her throat. "Clarke will inform us just how helpful this device is," and then she turned to Dax as Indra placed it back on her belt. "You may send for Clarke and Luna," she ordered as she leaned her weight on her palms on her side of the table, glancing over the vast map laid across it. "Unless there is anything else?"

 

"No, Heda," Indra replied, and so Dax moved toward the door.

 

**

 

"Zeek," Clarke sighed, the apprehension in her chest creeping up on her. "Stop it." It hadn't taken long for her to feel as though everyone knew, that everyone heard her and the Commander the night before and so now were looking at her even more scrupulously than they did before. Zeek of course wasn't helping with his exaggerated silence and the perpetual subtle smirk that adorned his lips whenever she looked at him.

 

It was of course all in her head but it was making her feel awkward and agitated all the same.

 

She and Zeek had spent the last few hours in the banquet hall, Zeek introducing her to people she hadn't already met and she found that small talk came easily when conversing with warriors and generals. Her own people were there too and she had explained how her morning was going to be spent with a promise of meeting up with them later. Bellamy still looked like he'd rather be anywhere but there but both Octavia and Kane seemed to be having the time of their lives. She just hoped it would rub off on Bellamy eventually.

 

Zeek glanced down at her as they continued to walk along the vast corridor that lead to the war planning rooms. "I am not doing anything."

 

"Exactly," Clarke responded quickly. "Stop it, okay?"

 

Of course it wasn't as if Zeek ever engaged her in random, unprompted conversation before last night but today Clarke felt it all the more. She was being paranoid, and she was certain it had more to do with the upcoming meeting than what happened the night before. Even so, Clarke was finding it difficult to think of anything other than Lexa's lips against her skin...

 

Zeek could sense her discomfort and he honestly found it amusing. "Sha, Wanheda."

 

Clarke sighed, again, and gestured out in front of them with her hand. She definitely preferred it when their relationship didn't involve teasing. "You're being all..." she tried to think of a word and then immediately gave up. "...Whatever. Just stop it." It didn't work however and Zeek's smirk intensified which made Clarke role her eyes. "When's Jael coming back?"

 

Zeek almost laughed at that and he saw the corners of Clarke's mouth curl up a little. "You do not mean that," he replied and Clarke's smile got bigger.

 

She sighed. "Just say what you want to say and get it over with."

 

Zeek shrugged. "I do not wish to say anything. It is not my place."

 

"See!" She nudged him in the ribs. "You do think something."

 

He really didn't, but he was enjoying seeing the great Wanheda squirm. "Whoever Heda takes to her bed is no one else's concern."

 

Clarke closed her eyes for a moment. "So you heard..." she trailed off quietly. She already knew that of course but hearing it aloud made her cringe, a bit.

 

"The guards almost stormed the room thinking you and Heda were under attack."

 

Her eyes shot open and she blinked rather furiously, craning her neck up to look at him. "What?!" Although she didn't wait for a response. "Oh God."

 

Zeek was definitely finding this amusing. "I stopped them."

 

Clarke swallowed and became irrevocably even more awkward. "Thanks," she croaked as her hand found the back of her neck and she rubbed at her heated skin uncomfortably. Then she frowned. "How did you know we weren't?"

 

Zeek met her gaze as he peered down at her and his one eyebrow started to elevate.

 

Clarke tore her eyes away and held up a hand. "Forget it. I don't want to know."

 

Zeek though wasn't done. "The sounds that followed were definitely not ones of distress-"

 

"-I beg you to stop talking."

 

They stopped at a huge set of double doors and Zeek turned to face her, the levity clearly showing on his face. He quickly went back to business, though. "You are ready for this meeting?" he asked as his shoulders went back.

 

"Not at all," Clarke responded feeling exceptionally flustered and anxious. She cleared her throat and tried to find some composure. "What can I expect?"

 

Zeek just smiled at her fondly. "I was at the meeting when you and Heda presented the plan for the Mountain," he informed her quietly. "You are ready."

 

Clarke felt the comfort his words were trying to offer and became a little easier, but not by much. She raised her eyebrows. "I wish I had your faith."

 

He smiled again as he reached out for the door, Clarke turning to ready herself as she took a step into the room.

 

**

 

Clarke entered the room followed closely by Zeek who closed the door and retreated into the shadows that painted the walls. The dull murmuring of Trigedasleng stopped as soon as she approached the table, all eyes setting on her and it didn't help her nervousness at all. She pulled in a silent breath as she noted the glares from Luna, Pius and Indra but really she didn't expect anything less. Dax's expression was more or less even and when her gaze finally found Lexa's they shared a moment that seemed to last much longer than the few second's it actually did.

 

Clarke broke it first, her eyes sweeping over the table as she momentarily bit on her bottom lip and tried to gather herself. In that moment all Clarke could focus on was the look of longing in the Commander's deep, unwavering green eyes even though they'd only been apart for a couple of hours at most. The fact she was also wearing Lexa's underwear which were of course rubbing her in an entirely inappropriate way for the situation at hand wasn't helping, either. She had to look away and she swallowed awkwardly as she tried to rid her mind of images from last night, and this morning...

 

Clarke coughed abruptly and squeezed her eyes shut. "Commander," she uttered after a slight delay, her eyes opening with at least a little more conviction in them.

 

"Clarke," Lexa acknowledged, the familiar authority in her tone hardening her words so it came out just how Clarke liked to hear it. She raised her chin a little as her shoulders went back, her gaze not leaving Clarke's. "Everyone here you know."

 

If anyone noticed how the tension raised somewhat upon Clarke entering the room they were respectful enough not to comment on it. Or at least Clarke hoped it was the tension between her and Indra or her and Luna they may suspect, and not what was going on between her and their Commander.

 

"Yes," Clarke agreed confidently if not a little breathlessly. She turned her attention on Indra who was standing to her right around the circular table. "Indra," she greeted pleasantly, "I take it my people were in one piece when you left?"

 

There were a couple of huffs around the table and Clarke internally smiled at successfully diverting any undue attention. She noticed the glint in Lexa's eyes and she had to look down again so not to give herself away.

 

"Yes," Indra responded with clear distaste oozing from the single syllable. "As much as a people who are lost and bewildered can remain in one piece."

 

A few more huffs sounded but of a different nature and Clarke was more than ready to respond with more sarcasm.

 

Lexa however was quick to stifle it. "There will be time for this later," she ordered, clearly stamping her authoritative over the proceedings. Her gaze however wasn't harsh and then she looked at Clarke. "Indra ensures me your people are fine, Clarke. With my army for protection they wouldn't be anything else."

 

"Of course not," Clarke acquiesced with a small smile, not wanting to come across as challenging. "Thank you. My people and I are grateful for your generosity." Clarke wished she could chance a glance at Zeek to gauge whether or not that was too much as she really had no idea. Dax who she considered to be the only other 'friendly' at the table was being less than helpful.

 

Lexa however simply nodded and then drew everyone's attention to the map laid out in front of them. "Let us begin."

 

Luna though didn't miss a beat and she had watched it all with rapt enthusiasm. She was quick to note the change between Lexa and Wanheda, it clearly obvious to anyone who was able to read Lexa's micro expressions and she of course was well versed in them but if that wasn't enough, the looks Pius was throwing Clarke certainly confirmed it.

 

Luna blinked and diverted her gaze to Lexa who was standing on her immediate left, examining the way her face moved as she spoke. Had she really so blatantly ignored her warnings? Had she really just rushed in regardless? Luna found it hard to believe, not that Lexa hadn't listened but that she'd actually let her heart win out over her head. It was something Lexa had sworn never to do again not long after Costia's death and regardless of how many times other people had told her the exact same thing, Luna always thought Lexa's head just wouldn't let it. Least of all she assumed Lexa would know it wasn't the right time. Certainly Lexa and Costia were together much longer when the Queen took her, but Luna could read the signs. The way Lexa looked at Clarke was exactly the same. She only hoped Nia wouldn't get wind of it.

 

**

 

"We wait here," Lexa said as she placed a marker down on the map. "Her army will march this way and we know they are already through the Valley's."

 

"Here, Heda," Indra spoke up, placing another marker to the east of Lexa's. "There we block off any advancements from the east and we can trap them below the tree line."

 

Lexa glared at Indra's marker, the satisfaction of cutting down Nia's army flashing through her mind and she couldn't help the sense of glee she felt at the prospect. "Good," she murmured a little darkly.

 

"How do we know her intent is to attack?"

 

Everyone's gaze turned to Clarke as soon as the question left her lips, looking at her with furrowed brows and confused expressions.

 

"Of course she wants to attack," Indra responded curtly.

 

"No," Clarke shook her head as she tapped the table in front of her. "I mean now. How do we know an attack is imminent?" To her it seemed Nia could be using the army as a distraction. To draw Lexa's attention away and attack from another position, for example.

 

"We don't," Lexa answered with the raise of an eyebrow. "We know she is marching and has attacked us both. We retaliate by protecting our land and when she crosses our borders we engage." She placed her palms flat against the table and leaned her weight on them. "These are the preparations to decide our best course of action."

 

Clarke lifted her chin and considered Lexa's answer, for a moment.

 

"Azizi's scouts returned this morning," Dax added when the silence seemed to last too long. "There are smaller groups of Azgeda here," he continued as he picked up another marker from the side of the table and placed it just north-east of the others. "And here." He placed another marker just further west. "Assume they are strengthening ranks with Ouskejou Kru."

 

Lexa nodded. "That makes sense."

 

Luna's eyes narrowed at the map. "My people can reinforce Podakru here," she pointed, tracing her finger along the line of the water. "The enemy will not cross the water easily, even with Ouskejou Kru."

 

Dax folded his arms. "Assuming they go that way."

 

"They wouldn't choose the cliffs," Indra offered. "They are too many. That leaves only the Plains beyond the water."

 

Clarke frowned. "What's this?" she asked as she pointed to a small gulley to the east of the water.

 

Lexa's gaze followed Clarke's finger. "It is an underpass."

 

Indra peered over the map at the location in question. "They will either pass through here, or attempt the water."

 

"Perhaps both," Luna added.

 

Lexa folded her arms across her chest. "Both is sensible, an even split. Although perhaps the majority through the underpass."

 

"So they don't risk as many across the water," Luna clarified, and Lexa nodded.

 

Slowly a grin formed across Clarke's face. "What if we block it?"

 

All eyes fell again to Clarke.

 

"Block it?" Dax repeated curiously.

 

Indra scoffed. "How would we do that?"

 

Clarke looked closer at the map. "Is this rock?" she asked as she pointed to the jagged lines alongside the underpass.

 

Lexa eyed Clarke with interest, wondering what she was getting at. "Yes."

 

Clarke's grin turned into a smirk. "I know someone who can make it go boom."

 

They all stared at her, deciphering her words and remembering the report of skaikru blowing up a bridge on trikru land when they first arrived. It made Indra and Pius stiffen a little at the memory but Luna and Lexa just waited for her to carry on speaking.

 

Dax however did so in her place. "So they would have to cross the water."

 

"Yes," Clarke continued. "It would buy us more time." She pointed again at the underpass. "A few days for them to double back."

 

Lexa was pleased but needed to correct her miscalculation. "No," she said with almost a hint of regret, continuing on at Clarke's look of confusion. "A day at most. There will be an advance party sent before the army to detect any obstacles or threats in its path."

 

Dax turned to his Commander. "A day is better than nothing."

 

"And it will mean they must all come to the lake," Luna smiled. Not by much of course but it was there. "We can better position our forces and not send any to pointlessly wait beyond the underpass."

 

Lexa looked at Clarke and was proud of the satisfied expression she discovered in those beautiful blue eyes. "You can make this happen?"

 

"Yes," Clarke smiled, knowing Lexa was holding back a grin herself. "I'll need to go to Camp Jaha to discuss it but-"

 

"-You can use this," Indra interrupted, holding out the small black box again.

 

Clarke was surprised. "A radio?" That was certainly the last thing she was expecting Indra to have.

 

Indra looked at her firmly. "Reivon gave it to me. For communication."

 

Clarke did her best to hold back a chuckle but she didn't really succeed. She shook her head a little and grinned. "She's a genius."

 

Dax grinned at the map, clearly excited by this new plan. He nodded his head. "After that our army can be stationed here," he suggested as he placed another two markers south of the water, "and here."

 

Clarke looked up and noticed everyone grinning at the map. Even Indra's lips were pulled into a tiny smirk. A thought struck her then, though. "What about Polis?" she pondered aloud. "She won't send her army here?"

 

For the first time Pius spoke up from his position behind Lexa. "The battle does not begin at the capital," he began. "An unspoken rule between us. Polis is the last settlement to succumb to new rule, and only once the battle has been won."

 

Lexa was quick to become just as prideful as her advisor. "The Commander does not hide within Polis. It is our sacred city and why the surrounding villages do not know even half its grandeur."

 

The way Lexa spoke about Polis was uplifting, as well as the way in which she spoke about the Commander as if she herself wasn't, respecting the title more than anything else. It made Clarke feel prideful, too.

 

"Is Polis the only city like this?" Clarke asked, suddenly curious.

 

Pius spoke up again. "Azgeda is relatively unharmed but only due to its location."

 

"It's far too cold to take an army there," Dax offered as if he was talking from experience. His expression then turned sour, however. "It's why the Queen hides there well."

 

Lexa's lip started to snarl in distaste. "Azgeda is incomparable to Polis," she pretty much spat. "It serves Azgeda and nothing else," and then she sighed as if bringing herself out of it. "But they are right. Unfortunately the conditions are not suited to most of my people," but then her tone lowered again. "If it were the battle would have found Nia sooner than this." Lexa stared at the map like she was imagining what was to come, seeing in her mind's eye how she would strike Nia down and bathe happily in her blood.

 

"Some battles cannot be chosen, Clarke," Dax said after a few moments, deciding to get back to the matter at hand. "They are opportunist, and this is exactly that."

 

"We cannot be caught unprepared, however," Luna added, and it was only then Lexa pulled herself from her imaginings. "Nia has waited a long time to strike at us, at Lexa." She then turned her attention to Clarke. "I believe she will try and convince your people to join her and that will be her chance."

 

Clarke was firm in her response. Adamant, even. "That won't happen."

 

"And so we strike here," Lexa commanded as she landed her finger on the map. "As soon as she crosses onto trikru land. Take the battle to her while we have the advantage."

 

There was still something Clarke was unsure about though. "I'm sorry, Commander," she started. "But why do you think she's here?"

 

Again all eyes turned on Clarke but this time as if she was insane.

 

"It was only her general at the meeting," she continued, wondering if anyone had actually seen Nia outside of her own borders. "She could still be hiding in Azgeda, getting others to bring the battle to you."

 

Indra looked down at the map. "She will be at one of these camps," she provided as she pointed to Ouskejou and Delfikru land. "She will not lead her army because she is a coward. But she will be there."

 

The tone immediately lowered and a definite tension filled the air. Clarke chanced a glance at Lexa and found her scowling at the map just as much as Indra was.

 

Dax leaned over the table and took in a deep breath, his tone low and dangerous. "If her army should be successful," and then he paused as if the thought left a nasty aftertaste in his mouth. He swallowed bitterly. "Then she will want to be present to claim victory and take her place in Polis."

 

Luna nodded, after a moment or so. "There is no way Nia would miss such an opportunity." Her gaze fell to the map then, too. "She will be here, somewhere."

 

Clarke looked at Lexa who was practically seething, glaring at the map as if it were Nia herself. "So we find her," she almost growled, her voice practically vibrating. "And I will cut off her head myself."

 

 

**

 

Lexa was annoyed. Despite war planning going well for the initial session and Clarke integrating well at the meeting, she was getting more and more infuriated by the second and for a change it had nothing to do with Azgeda.

 

Well it did. If Azgeda weren't planning an attack and weren't intent on splitting apart the Coalition Lexa would be feeling much easier. But they were, and she supposed it was her own fault for initiating things with Clarke and subjecting their new.. relationship to the rigours of an impending war. A war with the woman who murdered her last love, no less.

 

Lexa sighed. It definitely had everything to do with Azgeda.

 

Even if it didn't though, she'd still have to deal with the opinions of her people which would basically be a war in and of itself. It was just exceptionally unfortunate timing that both were happening at the same time.

 

You shouldn't have kissed her.

 

Lexa sighed again as she mentally rolled her eyes at herself. She didn't know which kiss her mind was on about. Last night, or the one in her tent preceding the march on the Mountain...

 

Both!

 

Of course. Lexa longed for the day when it wasn't unheard of that Heda take a partner and attempt a happy life. She imagined what Anya's face would look like if she could hear her thoughts and she had a hard time keeping the smile from her face. 'Foolish, romantic little Heda,' Lexa heard in her mind. It was what her first called her whenever she spoke about her feelings for Costia.

 

How foolish she had been, and how the romance was stripped from her.

 

"Good evening, Heda."

 

Lexa blinked a few times as the voice pulled her swiftly from her thoughts. It was honestly a welcome interruption. She turned toward the voice and nodded at Marcus who was now standing beside her.

 

"I trust planning went well?"

 

Lexa puffed out her chest and pushed out a long, even breath, her hands moving from being clasped to her arms folding together behind her back. "It was only preliminary, Marcus Kane. Your strategies will be welcomed at the meeting tomorrow."

 

It wasn't what he meant but he wasn't about to correct her. Marcus just smiled, glad of the opportunity to speak with Lexa in relative privacy. "I trust you, Heda."

 

Lexa glanced at him with surprise. She wasn't expecting such an admission but was pleased by it nonetheless. Having Marcus onside would go a long way in fostering good relations with skaikru, and the benefits of such a friendship certainly weren't lost on her. Lexa liked him, she decided, and so she smiled back at him in return.

 

It made Marcus relax a little and so he decided to press on with his reason for approaching her. "While you have a moment, I wanted to congratulate you on Polis."

 

She quirked a brow as she turned to him fully.

 

"I have explored your city today and talked with some of your people. I'm impressed," he grinned, "and overwhelmed. You must be very proud of what you have achieved."

 

Lexa was even more surprised. She had never been congratulated on her own city before and it made her feel oddly prideful. Polis of course was built over many years and was not the sole work of any Commander, but of course Marcus wasn't to know its history. Perhaps one day he would like to learn it, she pondered.

 

"Thank you," Lexa responded after a moment, his easy and optimistic smile rather contagious. "But I did not build Polis. I am however proud of what it has become." She looked back out over her people then who flooded the hall before her. "My people know peace and while it is a strange concept for most, I am determined to keep providing it for as long as I am able."

 

Marcus nodded, his own hands moving to clasp behind his back as he followed Lexa's gaze. He could see why people admired her, and why as it seemed those closest to her would follow and protect her so earnestly. She had a vision and would deliver it as if nothing else mattered and he could understand that. Marcus had a vision for his people, too.

 

"I apologise if this is presumptuous of me, but after this battle, what then?"

 

Lexa swept her head to the right as she continued to observe her people, noting that Marcus was obviously concerned for his people too, curious about what would come next and she liked that he thought that far ahead. Most could never see past the next battle. "Then we look to the future," she replied without much preamble, her gaze involuntarily falling on Clarke all the way down at the other end of the hall. She was laughing with her friends and it made the corners of Lexa's lips tick up.

 

Marcus turned back to her and abruptly cut off her view. Her gaze hardening as her jaw clenched, just a little. "Forgive me again, Heda," he began and Lexa thought his politeness almost bordered on annoying. He would make a good diplomat, she considered. "I know we have more immediate concerns but I know I would feel better going into this war, knowing there is peace between our people and that we are on the same side, both in and out of battle."

 

Lexa tilted her head a bit and raised her chin an inch in the process as she considered his words. It was a moment before she responded. "I wish your people no ill will, Marcus Kane. I am however uncertain if you can reciprocate."

 

"We can," he replied quickly, nodding his head. "And will." He took a step closer then, and paused before he carried on. "Which brings me to a proposal."

 

Lexa cocked her brow, once more surprised. This she certainly wasn't expecting.

 

Marcus sucked in a breath and held his hands up between them. "If skaikru wanted to join your Coalition, would you grant it?"

 

Lexa's eyebrows quirked up once but other than that she managed to hold onto her expression. She suspected perhaps that they may form another alliance at some point, but not the initiation of the thirteenth clan. Though it would be useful for her to have a hand in governing skaikru but she wasn't at all convinced they would welcome that. Marcus may have toured Polis and liked what he saw but that was a far cry from the intricacies of joining the Coalition. It was clear he had no idea what he was saying or asking, or inviting.

 

She frowned a little before she replied. "Your people want this?"

 

"Some will need convincing but, I see what you have here, what you've built. More conflict isn't the best thing for either of us. We have knowledge we can share, technology. I'm sure we would prove an asset to you, Commander."

 

As much as she knew it shouldn't be the first thing to cross her mind and before she was quick enough to push it right back out again, Clarke flashed across Lexa's mind and just how much easier it would be if skaikru were a part of the Coalition. Not by much, of course, but it certainly wouldn't hurt. "I have no doubt," Lexa replied after a moment, before she sent her mind back to business. "There are rules however. Laws, as well as contributions to and cooperation between all clans." She eyed him a little more closely, then. Certain he would change his mind once he was aware of all the implications. "This you must consider and agree to before such a proposal can be made."

 

Marcus nodded. "I understand that. Just a promise of a discussion once this battle is over, a ceasefire between our people so we can return home, regroup and then move forward." He paused for a few seconds as he took in the Commander's neutral, stoic expression and he was certain he saw hope there. Maybe even some relief and so he held out his arm and hoped his faith wasn't misplaced. "Do I have your word?"

 

Lexa didn't move an inch, her arms still wrapped behind her back and she thought that for once, maybe, a peace treaty could be forged without the need for more violence. It would certainly be a first but she didn't allow herself to hope, she did however meet his sincerity with what it deserved. She reached out and clasped his arm in return. "You do."

 

"Heda."

 

Both Lexa and Marcus turned toward Luna who had approached from through the thick of the crowd. They relinquished their grip and Lexa inclined her head as Marcus took a step back.

 

"Ai gaf chich kom yu op, beja Heda."

 

Marcus smiled and somehow knew it was his cue to leave. "I will leave you. I appreciate your time, Commander. Thank you."

 

Lexa watched him walk away and never thought she'd think it but, she wished he had stayed. "What is it, Luna?" she asked, her shoulders straightening as her hands went back behind her back.

 

"Can we speak in private, Heda?"

 

Lexa knew what that meant and she felt herself deflate, a little. "No, we cannot."

 

Luna was surprised. Lexa hardly ever denied her request for an audience. Not when there wasn't anything pressing happening at least. She stood there and just blinked at Lexa a few times until she finally turned and met her gaze.

 

"What is it you wish to discuss?" If Lexa's tone was a little clipped she wasn't sorry for it.

 

The crowd before them parted a little and opened up to reveal Clarke standing with Bellamy, Octavia and now Marcus who had just joined them once again. Lexa's eyes caught Clarke's and they shared a barely there smile before she heard Luna exhale a breath next to her.

 

"I hope you know what you are doing," Luna said quietly, sure enough that she wouldn't be overheard by anyone else.

 

Lexa clenched her jaw and her grip on her arms behind her tightened, somewhat. "There are more important concerns here than Clarke and I," she breathed with a hint of exasperation, her tone low enough to be dangerous.

 

Luna paused for a moment. "Are there?"

 

Lexa sighed, then, not wanting to get angry with her friend as she knew Luna was only acting in her best interests, as well as those of their people but it was tiring, having to doubt and then defend the way she felt. Again she wished for a time where Heda's people would allow her to be happy. It was something she was going to have to change, she knew. At some point, and she had absolutely no idea how.

 

Lexa cleared her throat. "Yes."

 

Luna though was more than ready to play devil's advocate. She stepped closer to the Commander and spoke almost directly into her ear. "Are you certain they won't make a deal with Azgeda behind your back? You did betray them after all."

 

Lexa though, didn't even flinch. "Clarke would not."

 

Luna turned her head and bore her gaze into Lexa's profile, Lexa outright refusing to meet her eyes. She didn't appreciate being challenged in this manner, nor did she enjoy being spoken to as if she wasn't Heda and didn't carry the spirits of each past Commander within her. After a good few moments Lexa turned her head to meet Luna's gaze and it appeased Lexa a little, the worry in her friend's eyes rather than any stark opposition. Lexa reminded herself that Luna cared not only for their people but she did for her, too. The person, and not just the Commander.

 

"Marcus Kane is also here," Lexa began, her tone a whole lot friendlier. "He has expressed an interest in joining the Coalition-"

 

"-Even if you could trust him, would the clans stand behind another alliance?"

 

"Luna you were at the meeting. Most of the clans support Clarke and those that do no will fall behind me once Nia is dead."

 

"And what of your people? Your own advisors?" They both glanced over to Pius at the same time almost automatically. "Will they support your relationship with Clarke?"

 

"So Clarke _is_ your concern," Lexa sighed heavily. "Again I remind you, Luna, the battle with Azgeda is our first priority."

 

Luna wasn't sure if she should voice the next thing on her mind but she did anyway, after a slight pause. "But is it yours?"

 

Lexa's gaze turned to stone then, childhood friend or not. She tensed her shoulders and let the fire burn in her eyes at her utter distaste for Luna's words.

 

Luna swallowed as she took a slow step back, watching as the ferocity rose within her Commander and she knew she had crossed the line, then. "Apologies, Heda," and then she sighed. "I worry for you."

 

"If people would worry less for me and more for the matters at hand I would be more confident going into this war." Lexa's tone was like lead and this time Luna didn't even dare look up. Lexa turned to her, the fury in her expression unmistakable. "Do not concern yourself with issues you have no business in, Luna."

 

"Yes, Heda," Luna responded quietly. "Just please, be careful."

 

Lexa's eyes widened and then she abruptly turned on her heel, throwing Luna one last death glare before she strode off, not wanting to run the risk of saying something she would likely regret. She felt the anger gather in her shoulders and tighten in her chest, the irritation irking her more than it ever usually did.

 

She found herself at the drinks table so she grabbed a cup of wine, tightening her fingers around it before she took a sip or two. She then released a calming deep breath and it seemed to help her settle, a bit, and she tried to tell herself that Luna's words weren't the last she would hear on the subject and she would have to stop behaving so defensively over Clarke.

 

"Hey," she heard a voice say just over her shoulder and suddenly Lexa couldn't help the smile from gracing her lips.

 

She turned to find blue eyes staring almost fondly at her. "Hello, Clarke," Lexa returned, and she was happy to see Clarke's face brighten at her words.

 

Clarke took another step closer. "You okay?" she asked, noting the Commander's rather tense stance. "You walked over here kind of quickly."

 

Clarke was concerned for her and Lexa couldn't deny the feeling that evoked in her chest. Gone was the anger and now she just pretty much felt silly, as if she were a child speaking to her crush for the first time and not the Commander of twelve clans who had just been debating war strategies. She also had to remind herself that they were standing in a room surrounded by about one-hundred of her people, too, and she couldn't just gaze lovingly all evening into the eyes of her...

 

Lexa swallowed as she cut off her brain from going any further, her heart already having started to thud a little harder in her chest. "I am much better now," she replied softly, her lips still grinning due to the next few minutes she could spend in Clarke's company.

 

**

 

Pius had been watching Lexa for some time, his face expressionless but inside he was a torrent of conflicting emotions. He wanted Lexa to be happy, of course he did. The woman he had known since she was a child and was certainly unlike any other he had ever met, the leader of course better than any he had served before her. She was unique; a revolutionary, both strong in heart and in mind and able to command and lead both armies and nations alike. She united the clans, the first Commander to do so and not only did she bring peace but she was also able to sustain it.

 

Lexa kom trikru was a legend; she would become legendary and Pius was certain out of them all, aside from the first Commander Lexa was the one history would remember most. There would be teachings about her, annual celebrations in honour of the great Commander who brought change and revolution and peace.

 

Pius was proud. Lexa had lost so much yet still she didn't waver. She remained strong in her ideals, dealing with whatever life and the burden of command threw at her with poise, elegance and fierce determination. She was her people, she was Polis and she never once wished to stray from the path of what was best for her people, no matter her own personal cost.

 

But then came Klark.

 

She worried Pius. There was no other way to look at it. The whole of skaikru worried him but the way Clarke was working her way into Lexa's affections would surely endanger their plan for the future of their people.

 

Pius sighed. Clarke was already in her affections, of course that was obvious. The time for backtracking and words of warning in Lexa's ear were well passed. Lexa was certainly not one to let her emotions show and especially in public. She was well schooled at not showing anything of what she was thinking or feeling but for those who knew her, those who knew the Commander inside out like Pius did well, it was clearly written all over her face and he had absolutely no idea what to do about it.

 

"You look strained, Pius," Indra commented as she came to a stop beside him, following his gaze and knowing exactly what he would be thinking about. They watched as Lexa and Clarke conversed quietly together, careful enough to keep a respectful distance between them but obviously getting along very well. "Do not tell me you are concerned for the battle with Azgeda. Heda will be victorious as she always is."

 

Pius was well aware Indra knew the real reason he seemed 'strained', as she put it. The two of them had known each other for a very long time. Even though he knew it was unnecessary he relaxed his expression even further, his hands clasped neatly behind his back as he continued gazing forward.

 

"I worry for her," he said softly, as if there was nothing more he needed to say.

 

Indra glanced sideways at him and then back at the Commander. He had felt similarly when Lexa's feelings developed for Costia and many a time she had walked in on a heated conversation between teacher and student, Pius preaching about how Heda's heart should belong to only her people. She couldn't help but foster a small smile at the memories before she quickly evened out her lips. It seemed Lexa was a revolutionary for Heda's line in more ways than just battle and leadership.

 

"Heda is old enough to look after herself," she finally replied just as softly. There was no way they could afford for this conversation to be overheard by eavesdropping ears.

 

"Clarke distracts her," Pius continued quickly as if he hadn't heard Indra's response. "She does not know our ways," he flexed his jaw. "She will bring trouble."

 

Indra agreed, of course. It was no secret she wasn't a fan of skaikru and Clarke in particular. The girl was impulsive, disrespectful and far too challenging. At least Costia was one of them and understood the way of their people; she knew what would be expected of her and what Lexa could and couldn't do. Clarke was something else altogether and Indra knew that was what Pius would be thinking.

 

Even so though, Lexa was their Heda and she was a damn good one. She had lost so much, too, not only Costia and her parents years before her, but also more recently her closest friends and advisors. Indra had always felt protective over the Commander whom she'd watched grow from a small trikru child but now she also felt another obligation; a certain responsibility. Gustus and Anya had followed Lexa everywhere, always at her side whenever Heda needed but now those places were empty. She and Pius were all Lexa had left and Indra knew Pius would be disapproving enough for both of them so however much she didn't agree, however much she wished skaikru had fallen on the other side of the world she wouldn't let her Heda go unsupported.

 

"It is not for me to have an opinion on who Heda goes to for comfort," she said carefully as she felt Pius' eyes fall on her. Honestly it really wasn't.

 

Pius raised his eyebrow in disbelief. "And if that person affects her command?"

 

Indra didn't have an answer for that. Well she did but it would be counterproductive to her argument so she remained silent, keenly gazing upon Lexa as she tried to keep a smile from her face at something Clarke was saying to her. Yes, she could certainly see why Pius was worried.

 

"It may not be your place," Pius continued, "but it is mine to guide and advise her."

 

"Leading Heda from Clarke will not affect their relationship," Indra replied after a few moments, turning to look at her friend. "Only yours."

 

Pius wasn't fond of that and his jaw rippled with it. He turned his head and met Indra's gaze. "You cannot tell me you believe _her_ to be a suitable partner for Heda." The heat in his eyes was unmistakable.

 

Indra had to bite back her initial response. She was certain any partner would not be good enough for Heda, as far as Pius was concerned. "I hold little regard for the skygirl," she said with a heavy sigh, the intent in her eyes stepping up a few notches. "But it is my duty to serve Heda, support her actions and reinforce her decisions," she paused for a moment. "As is yours." Pius didn't like that either but she pressed on nonetheless. "She has always made good decisions, that is why she is the best Commander we have ever had. Unless you no longer believe in her-"

 

"-Of course I do," Pius interrupted curtly. He would not be accused of anything so traitorous as losing faith in his Commander.

 

"Then do your duty, Pius," Indra said firmly before her expression softened. "Besides, hasn't she suffered enough?"

 

Pius pushed out a breath. He knew how she had suffered, perhaps better than anyone. His eyes quickly met the floor as he remembered Lexa in the months after what happened to Costia. Above all else, he didn't want that part of history to repeat itself. "I do not wish to see her hurt."

 

Indra felt his sadness, too. "Then protect her, as we all do."

 

For a moment Pius let his emotions show on his face. His expression falling as his brow furrowed and his eyebrows arched, a little. "I am just fearful for where Clarke may lead her. We are so close to our goal, Indra. Once Nia is removed from power then our people will know uninterrupted, widespread peace."

 

Indra knew this of course. She knew the plan as she was there when Lexa constructed it, she didn't think Pius was finished though and so she waited for him to carry on.

 

"Something no one has known since the dawning of our world. Skaikru could destroy all that."

 

Indra actually did smile, then, albeit slight. Thinking Lexa would let Clarke steer her away from her life's work was absurd, even if she was falling for her which by all accounts it seemed like she already was. Pius' concern may be warranted, but faith in what Lexa wanted to achieve and her delivery of it surely was not. "I never thought I would hear you underestimate Heda, Pius."

 

Pius swallowed and seemed if anything a little hurt by Indra's words. He wasn't underestimating her, was he? It wasn't Lexa who he was doubting; only Clarke. Why wasn't that obvious to anyone other than him? Before he could respond though Indra carried on.

 

"Until Heda acts as if she is putting the needs of her people last then you should let her be." She narrowed her eyes at Clarke and then sucked in a heavy breath. She really hoped what she was saying was true. "I do not believe she will."

 

**

 

"What is it, Pius?"

 

Lexa always knew when her advisor entered the room. His feet were silent of course but there was a distinct, heavy air that followed him around. Lexa had been alone in her throne room, mulling over the day's events and trying to focus on the battle to come. It had been a while since she needed to second guess the Ice Queen but she found it was something her mind was used to doing. Hopefully soon it would be something she'd never have to consider again.

 

Pius felt a little awkward but he did well not to show it. Indra's words weighed heavily on his mind and he was at odds with how he was going to broach this conversation. "You seem troubled, Heda."

 

Lexa was stood just room side of the thin material that hung down in front of her balcony, staring through it and at Polis as her thoughts ticked over. "War finds us again, teacher," she sighed with a slight shrug of her shoulders. "I fear there will always be just one more war." She felt rather at odds, in that moment. It had been growing throughout the day and not even her brief chat with Clarke earlier was able to settle her mood. She felt as though Pius was about to make it even worse, too.

 

Pius relaxed his shoulders and clasped his hands behind his back in his usual posture. "After this one, Heda, there should not." He of course didn't know if that was true, but he knew Lexa needed reassurance right then.

 

Despite it Lexa turned on her heal to face him, an eyebrow raised in disbelief of his words.

 

"Not on this scale," Pius continued. "Squabbles between the clans perhaps but a war such as this?" He shook his head. "Nia is your last great enemy and when she is defeated our plan will be complete."

 

Lexa scoffed quite loudly and shook her head, her gaze dropping from Pius rather uncharacteristically and scanning the floor. "Then we shall have peace," she responded with a note of bitterness in her tone.

 

It made Pius worry all the more. "Yes, Heda."

 

Lexa pulled her lips to the side as she looked up at him. "You truly believe that." She didn't really know why he was holding back. She knew he was there to scold her about Clarke, about taking her to bed and to warn her about caring for her too much in the face of an upcoming battle but honestly, she really wasn't in the mood for it. Did he not think she worried about that enough herself?

 

Pius was reluctant to answer. He knew her relationship with Clarke could lead them all into another war as soon as they were done with this one. Perhaps skaikru would mount an offensive as soon as the Azgeda army had weakened theirs. Perhaps Clarke's own people would use Heda's affection for her against them. Perhaps they were even building bombs and other weapons they couldn't understand at this very moment, all in preparation. Who knew?

 

Lexa scoffed again. "Of course not," she muttered before she turned to gaze across her city once more. After a moment she sucked in a breath and pushed her shoulders back, her hands clasping delicately behind her back as she raised her chin and settled her demeanour. "You have something to say, Pius," she announced loudly, like she was addressing any other subject. "Then say it." It was an order.

 

Pius exhaled. He held such affection for the woman in front of him. She was the product of so many advisers and teachings, a formidable combination of history, knowledge and power of which he had probably contributed the most. Sometimes she was almost like an extension of himself, but then at others she couldn't be more different. Perhaps that was one of the best things about her he pondered momentarily, a glimmer of a smile touching his lips. A leader who wasn't afraid to be herself and make difference, and what a difference she had made.

 

It was however in his job description to remind her of what her purpose was and what the mantle of Heda demanded. "Heda," he began, with a slight tremor in his tone. "The attack in the tower, you defended Cla-"

 

"-Don't, Pius," she said quietly and dangerously, not waiting for him to finish. "Just, don't." She knew exactly what he would say; that her life was not hers to use in defence of someone such as Clarke. That Clarke's life was expendable and hers was not.

 

Pius clenched his teeth together. "Your people are your duty-"

 

Lexa turned abruptly, a look of fire in her eyes as she accentuated every word with the bluntness in her tone. "I do not, wish, to hear it!"

 

Over the years Pius had witnessed Lexa angry more than once, and at him directly more times than that so still he continued on, determined to make his point. "You protected her as if her life was more important than your own," he said as Lexa pushed out an angry breath and started to pace the elevated platform where her throne sat. "That is unacceptable."

 

Lexa was having a hard time keeping a lid on what she was feeling. It was rare for her, to feel as though her emotions were about to explode out of her chest and she was helpless to stop them. She paced more intently as her jaw clenched and try as she might she just couldn't settle her breathing. Of course she protected Clarke, anyone would have. An experienced fighter shielding an inexperienced one was common sense, and human nature but she knew as well, Pius had a point.

 

It was like all her years of training came back to her at once, the speeches and teachings of the role of Heda and what was expected of her. What she was expected to do, what her duty to her people was and how her life was not her own. It belonged to her people, and therefore she should think of it and live it as such.

 

Lexa stopped moving as she squeezed her eyes shut and exhaled a sharp breath. Even though she knew all this, they were talking about Clarke and she was _different_. She was a second chance and under no circumstances would Lexa pass that chance up, as much as she knew she probably should. As much as she knew it would be expected. Lexa would lead her people just the same, she would be the uncompromising, determined and fearless Commander she always was. She would not shirk her responsibility but she would not sacrifice Clarke for it. Not again.

 

When she turned to glare at Pius her eyes were full of all the words that she hadn't said. They shone with the memory of all the people that she had lost, and all of the heartache she had subsequently felt. It was full with as much emotion as she had ever showed her teacher and when she spoke her voice shook with it. "I cannot lose her," and then her expression became like steel. "I will not."

 

Pius swallowed and then he blinked. The last time he saw such emotion from his Commander was after Costia's death, when she was enforcing her command from behind a mask of pain and loss. He felt a wave of emotion wash over him although his expression didn't falter at all. His duty was to advise and steer the Commander so she would deliver her responsibilities no matter what, regardless of who that Commander was. He was bound to the office, not the person yet he was conflicted. Standing in front of him now as he stared deeply into her shining green eyes he saw the teenager of a few years ago, broken and crumbling as she mourned her lost love behind closed doors. Away from prying eyes and just as it was then he found it hard to deny his attachment to Lexa, not Heda, which certainly wasn't the way of things at all.

 

Lexa swallowed painfully. "Not again."

 

Pius blinked a few more times before he raised his chin once more, preparing himself for what he was about to say. "I believe after this war, when Nia has fallen..." he began, stopping briefly as Lexa seemed to steady herself as if resigned to what her teacher was about to tell her. It surprised him sometimes, how well Lexa could swallow up her feelings and become such a blank slate whenever she needed to but then he supposed, he had taught her well. He took in a breath. "...We devise a plan to induct skaikru into the Coalition."

 

Lexa was startled. She wasn't able to hide her reaction to that and she looked at Pius as if he had grown another head, her eyes wide and her mouth dropping open, just a little.

 

Pius was surprised at his words as well. It really wasn't what he expected himself to be saying but there it was. It seemed his feelings won out to duty sometimes too. "It is the only thing we can do to ensure peace."

 

Lexa was doing a very good impression of gaping at her advisor and it took her a good few moments to snap herself out of it. She blinked a few times and if anything she felt dazed, and rather floored. "I was not," she started, her voice a gravelly whisper. "Expecting that.. from you. Pius."

 

Pius watched her struggle with his words and he honestly felt a little overcome himself. His love for Lexa was always there, just never discussed. "I disapprove, I think you know," he began with a slight edge to his tone which then broke as he swallowed. "But how can I deny you this?"

 

Lexa didn't know what to do. Suddenly she didn't know how to stand or how to hold her shoulders and of course her expression was quickly slipping from her control. Pius was never sentimental, not ever, and she had no idea how to handle it.

 

"It is as if you are my daughter, Lexa. I will support you with my last breath."

 

Lexa sucked in a breath and it shook in her chest. Her eyes so suddenly full of emotion she had to stiffen herself to prevent it from escaping. She swallowed and then she licked her lips, her eyes darting to the floor then to the walls and finally to the ceiling, anywhere but at her teacher's emotional expression. Lexa had been prepared for arguments, confrontation and even hostility but not this. Never anything even remotely like this and the fact that he called her by name was something in itself. He never used anything other than her title, and definitely not when he was addressing her personally.

 

Eventually she turned her eyes on him, shining as they were and when she spoke her voice was thick like fog but gentle. "You have denied me many things," she breathed, now a little stronger.

 

Pius clenched his jaw and nodded his head. That of course he knew. "Not this time," he responded. "I want you to be happy. You deserve it."

 

Lexa's mouth dropped open as she tried to fathom something to say but words it seemed just vanished from her. Such sentiment she had long since stopped receiving and she had told herself she didn't need it. She didn't need anything like that. Not since Costia died but now there was Clarke and she was finding herself a little more open to it but from Pius, well there was absolutely no way her mind was taking it all in.

 

"Thank you, Pius," Lexa whispered after a moment, completely at a loss for anything else to say.

 

Pius cleared his throat and his voice if anything became faintly firmer. "It is my duty to stand by you, and I shall."

 

Lexa was able to gather herself and she held herself straighter, a thought suddenly leaping to her mind. "It is your duty to serve Heda, Pius," she said as her shoulders went back once more, her gaze becoming steelier. The Heda part of her didn't need or crave Clarke after all, not like _she_ did. "Not me."

 

Pius regarded her for a moment and he felt proud for everything she was. It wasn't just him of course, many others had watched her grow and had influenced her but she was without question one of a kind. Never a Commander like her had there been and never would there be again. Lexa wanted to change things for the better so maybe it was about time Pius trusted her vision completely and just let her run with it. Within reason, of course...

 

"You _are_ Heda, Lexa. You are one and the same. What pleases Lexa, pleases Heda, and pleases me." He thought for a moment, considering his next words carefully before he continued on. He drew in a breath and let it power his words. "Perhaps it _is_ time for change."

 

Lexa's ears pricked up, at that. Her eyes widening quite a bit, too.

 

Pius shrugged his head to the side. "You really are remarkable, Heda. No one has done what you have and this should continue. I expect you to outlive me."

 

A smile formed on Lexa's lips as she raised her eyebrows knowing how unlikely that was. "I believe that may be asking too much."

 

Pius smiled a little too, the very corner of his mouth quirking up. "I do not."

 

They held each other's gaze as Lexa took in a breath, her chest feeling as light as she could ever remember it, at least in Pius' presence anyway. It hung there for a while, a certain sense of tranquillity and understanding between them and although Lexa knew it would end just as abruptly as it came, she took the opportunity to relish and savour it.

 

It was a strange relationship with Pius, one blurred by the line that ran between herself and Heda. As she pointed out to him; his duty really was to guide and direct Heda regardless of how many vessels the Spirit occupied. He was to treat them all the same, regardless of clan or allegiance and just support the agenda that accompanied the title but here he was, swearing his support to _Lexa_ and that meant absolutely more to her than she could ever hope to express.

 

Finally Pius pulled his eyes away as he took another step forward, his tone suddenly much sterner as his jaw rippled beneath his skin. "Still..." he began and Lexa automatically hardened where she stood. "...Until Nia has fallen I think it is foolish to further things with Clarke. Nia cannot-"

 

"-I know," Lexa interrupted him, her chest suddenly feeling tight again. Of course she already knew. Nia couldn't know anything about her and Clarke and Lexa could only hope she hadn't already found out. She turned to her balcony and stared out into the night sky once more.

 

"So what do you plan to do?"

 

Lexa swallowed and it scratched at her throat. "Protect her," she answered lowly and with hardly a moment's hesitation. "So she cannot fall into Azgeda hands. You know what to do."

 

Pius nodded and then slowly bowed his head. "Yes, Heda."

 

**

 

"The Polis army is prepared Heda," Dax informed her, having spent the last few hours briefing them and giving out preliminary orders. "Ready for your command."

 

"Good," Lexa returned, her arms folded behind her back as she gazed out of her window and over Polis. She hadn't done much else through the entirety of Dax's report. "And the armies of the clans?"

 

"Marching."

 

Lexa nodded. She knew her furthest army would reach its position within a few days.

 

"Most of trikru is still stationed outside Camp Jaha."

 

Lexa sucked in a breath. Her pieces were falling into place and after the meeting tomorrow everything should be finalised. "Good," she said again after a moment.

 

Lexa remained exactly where she was and continued to stare out over her city. It had been a demanding day, one of revelation it would seem and she still wasn't quite over her conversation with Pius. She was still surprised and shocked by it all at once but she tried not to dwell on it.

 

"Will that be all, Heda?"

 

Lexa exhaled slowly and then she turned, taking a few steps toward her general. "Yes, Dax. You may leave," she replied softly. "Thank you."

 

Dax bowed his head and kept his eyes low. "Sleep well, Heda," he said before he turned on his heel and left the throne room.

 

That was something Dax always wished her if he was her last appointment of the evening and she was still getting used to it, if she was honest. Gustus never did, he was only ever personal when the situation commanded it so Dax was apparently a little softer than his mentor. Not that it was a bad thing, just.. different.

 

"Hey."

 

Lexa looked up to find Clarke standing just inside the double doors to the room.

 

"You okay?"

 

Lexa couldn't help the smile that formed on her lips as Clarke smiled at her in return. She closed the door and then walked forwards a little shyly, slowly closing the distance between them.

 

Lexa pushed out a huge, stomach crunching sigh. "I am fine."

 

Clarke just threw her a look and a small smirk adorned her lips to go with it. She closed the remaining space and took a step right into the Commander's personal space, her thumbs hooking into the tops of her back pockets. She raised a solitary eyebrow and waited for Lexa to carry on talking.

 

Lexa shook her head a little, thinking again of Pius. Her lips weren't sad though and her whole demeanour lit up due to the fact that Clarke came to find her to see if she was okay. She could definitely get used to it. "My people... they are trying, sometimes."

 

"Ah," Clarke acknowledged, only guessing at the conversations Lexa must have had that day. "Anything I can do to help?" she asked, bottom lip clenched between her teeth.

 

Lexa felt a sudden rush in the centre of her chest and when Clarke shuffled closer, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to the side of her jaw Lexa had to close her eyes to control her body's reaction. She swallowed and let out another shallow breath. "Perhaps."

 

Sometimes, just lately, Clarke didn't know what was coming over her. Right then she was struck with the urge to help Lexa relax knowing the day had been stressful enough and the next few wouldn't be any better, either. She laced her hands around Lexa's waist and started to nuzzle at her neck, massaging the soft skin with her lips as she felt the Commander melt into her.

 

Honestly though, perhaps Clarke craved some comfort too. She was scared about the immediate future and the coming war. For what Nia might do to her people if they were captured but she just didn't want to think about it. Her mind instead wanted to focus on the passionate, protective and gentle Commander from last night with her soft lips and gentle touch, and Clarke was more than happy to succumb to it.

 

After a few moments of Lexa leaning into Clarke's caress, basking in the happiness and need that she was in danger of getting swept up in she wrapped her arms around Clarke and pushed her fingertips into the small of her back, bringing them back again to rest against her hips.

 

It made Clarke stop and she pulled back a little, her eyes glancing down as she tried to peer beneath Lexa's suddenly downturned expression. "What is it?" Clarke asked in a whisper, her brow furrowing with concern.

 

Lexa was a little emotional but she was adamant not to let it show. She wouldn't, or perhaps couldn't even though she wasn't very good at hiding things from Clarke anymore, and she suspected she was getting worse at it with each passing second. She grit her teeth though and hardened her voice, her desire not to show weakness automatically kicking in. "I am being selfish," Lexa answered, her voice although hard was also quiet. Her eyes shining but only just and it was her lower lip that gave her away more than anything else. Clarke watched it tremble and couldn't help but knit her brow together in concern. Lexa swallowed and traced the lines of Clarke's expression with her gaze. "I do not want you to get hurt."

 

Clarke caught on all at once and was amazed at how open Lexa's expression was right then, even though she could tell she was trying to hide it. Her eyes were wide and her mouth slightly agape, such a look of vulnerability and Clarke could almost picture Lexa then, young and barely able to carry a sword all lost and alone in the world. It practically made her heart ache. "I won't," Clarke replied firmly, her hands moving up so she could rub at the back of Lexa's upper arms soothingly. Was this Pius' influence, or Luna's? She was sure Lexa didn't need to hear from those closest to her how Costia had died, again, but she was certain one of them would've brought it up.

 

Lexa's eyes seemed to get even more expressive. "You cannot know that."

 

Clarke tilted her head to the side, her voice warm and soft. "Just as I don't know you won't get hurt." She knew exactly what was running through Lexa's head and so after a moment she slid her palms along the underside of Lexa's jaw and cupped them at the sides of her neck. "I know it's a risk, Lex," she tried to implore, watching as green eyes flickered a million times. "But it's one I'm willing to take."

 

Lexa was torn. She wanted this, she wanted Clarke more than anything but there was no way she'd survive if she lost her. Absolutely none. There was no way her heart could take it.

 

"Trust me," Clarke whispered, urging the Commander closer.

 

And then Lexa gave in. She fell into the kiss and let Clarke sooth her concern with the gentle push of her lips. She made Lexa tingle, the way she kissed and touched her and there was no way Lexa was going to push her away. Not now, and not ever. She'd just have to figure out a way to make sure Clarke was safe but that was definitely a task for later.

 

Lexa moaned into the kiss and enveloped Clarke in her arms, holding her flush against her body and promptly annoyed that her coat and light armour were in the way of feeling her properly. Clarke's hands quickly distracted her though, easily slipping from her neck and getting lost in her braids and across her shoulders.

 

Clarke gently bit on Lexa's bottom lip and she delighted in the small gasp the Commander released in response. Lexa stood there motionless, her brow slightly furrowed at the need that coursed through her, her hands pulling Clarke's hips as close as she could. She felt the stresses of the day start to fade away, the only thing she cared about being the press of Clarke's arms around her, the warm puffs of air against her lips as Clarke breathed and the heat that was radiating between them.

 

Lexa swallowed and couldn't help the small noise she made at the back of her throat when she breathed. She was filled with _need_ and she suddenly didn't want to be in her throne room at all.

 

Clarke didn't wait for any further encouragement. She kissed Lexa again and swiped her tongue across her lower lip, soothing her bite but also craving entry. Lexa granted it immediately and it quickly became passionate, Clarke feeling a surge of electricity spark in her chest and settle deep in her gut. She was struck again by how little she was thinking about this and what it would mean. The implications would run deep for both of them and their people but she quickly ignored it. Put it all away for consideration later because when Lexa was like this with her, she really didn't care about anything else.

 

Lexa grabbed Clarke tighter and held her firmer. Her one hand sliding up Clarke's back to support the force of her kiss and the other moving down over her ass. She squeezed as she felt Clarke's tongue flick against the roof of her mouth and she hummed in quiet appreciation, savouring the sensation that made her blood rush before she pressed forwards into the kiss, taking over as her tongue explored madly and her fingers gripped Clarke even harder.

 

Clarke groaned, her fingers digging into the back of Lexa's head as she held on tightly and gave in completely to the Commander's desire. She felt it too, her whole body all of a sudden on fire and she wanted Lexa there and then. She didn't care where they were and honestly ever since she first time she saw Lexa sitting her thrown she had wanted to straddle her on it.

 

Lexa pushed Clarke back a few paces, everything suddenly turning into a frenzied rush and all Lexa needed was to feel the heat of Clarke's skin against hers. Her hands moved along Clarkes body, up her sides and then to the collar of her jacket as she went to push it from her shoulders-

 

"Heda!"

 

The doors flung open before either of them realised what was happening, both more than a little dazed as they were slow to move apart from each another, Lexa's hands still on Clarke's collar as she turned to face the intruder.

 

Dax froze where he stood; several paces just inside the double doors with a look of sheer horror on his face. He swallowed as he licked his lips, his eyes moving between his Commander and Clarke as he wished desperately he could relive the last few minutes of his life.

 

No such luck, however.

 

Lexa clenched her jaw and was suddenly present in the situation. Her eyes were dark but her expression turned to stone as she moved a stride away from Clarke and towards her general, her hands clenching tightly at her sides in fists before she clasped them sternly behind her back.

 

There was silence for a moment as Lexa glared daggers at him while waiting for him to explain his actions. Clarke was still disorientated, her breathing a little ragged as she tried to calm the intensity in her chest. She rubbed anxiously at the back of her neck as she turned to give Dax her attention.

 

Finally Dax coughed and considered if the coming battle didn't kill him, then his Commander surely would. That was twice now he had interrupted them, he pondered. Twice. _Jok_. "Moba Heda," he bowed his head, not daring to look back up for as long as he could avoid it. "Ba ai gada meija imfou in."

 

Lexa's expression screamed murder. Her breathing was heavy with frustration and annoyance. "Yu beda," she grumbled.

 

Clarke stepped forward, looking at Lexa and then to Dax. "What's wrong?"

 

Dax regarded her but then turned back to Lexa. "The scout from the eastern cliffs has returned. They are advancing."

 

Lexa's eyes widened; it was far too early, but if the enemy was advancing it would be five days at the very least for them to reach the closest encampment.

 

"Which cliffs?" Clarke probed, unsure as to what Dax was referring.

 

Lexa though, of course already knew.

 

Clarke turned to her. "Which cliffs?" she asked a little more sternly.

 

Lexa met Clarke's eyes and Dax lowered his to the floor. "The enemy is advancing on Camp Jaha."

 

Clarke took a step back. "What?" She turned to Dax. "When?"

 

Dax straightened. "Yesterday."

 

Clarke quickly became angry. "When will they get there?"

 

"Three days," Lexa responded sternly. She regarded Dax. "Alert the clan leaders, the meeting must be brought forward. Gather them in the war chamber."

 

"Sha Heda," Dax bowed before he turned and left the room, careful to pull the doors closed behind him.

 

Clarke was looking at Lexa astounded. "Forget the meeting!" she demanded.

 

Lexa cast her eyes to the floor as she readied herself for Clarke's reaction.

 

"Lexa," she began, rounding the Commander so she could stand in front of her. "We have to warn them. I have to ride back to Camp Jaha-"

 

"-No."

 

Clarke was shocked. She blinked a few times as she took a step back, wary of Lexa's steely expression as she looked up from the floor. She shook her head however, undeterred. "No?"

 

Lexa's jaw rippled beneath her skin.

 

"Lexa they're my people."

 

"Clarke," Lexa sighed, her demeanour becoming minutely softer. "You will not. You are needed here in this meeting." Clarke still looked shocked so Lexa tried to become more reassuring. "It _must_ go ahead, then we ride for Camp Jaha."

 

"Lexa-" Clarke protested, the panic rising in her chest.

 

"-Your people have an army to protect them," Lexa interrupted her firmly. Skaikru were protected and she needed to make Clarke realise that. "With this meeting we put all our pieces in place," and then she gestured at the ground. "That is the priority-"

 

Clarke though wasn't having it. "-My people are my priority, Lexa."

 

"And you do nothing for them by abandoning this meeting." Lexa said as she tried to control her anger. Clarke wasn't the reason for it after all, it was Nia's impeccable timing and her desire to recapture what she and Clarke had started but knowing it was long since lost. Clarke not being able to see her point though wasn't helping. "Nia will expect you to leave and that is her plan."

 

Clarke glared at her as her emotions started to get the better of her. She was furious. How could Lexa not let her warn her people? It was absurd.

 

Lexa could see she wasn't getting anywhere but they really didn't have time to stand there arguing about it. She needed to close it down and get Clarke in the right mindset for the pending discussion. "You are not to leave until the meeting is done," she instructed, probably a lot more fiercely than she intended. It was too late however to reverse her tone. "Then we go together." Lexa sucked in a breath and then tried for a compromise. "You may use the radio if you wish but we will be there before the enemy arrives regardless."

 

Clarke wasn't appeased and she felt like retorting something about not needing _her_ permission to use her own damn radio. She clenched her teeth together and felt her blood start to boil beneath her skin. "Is that an order, Commander?"

 

Lexa levelled out her jaw and exhaled a steady breath, her statue growing as she allowed her presence to envelope the room. "Yes, Clarke," she responded evenly. "It is."

 

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
>  Translations.  
>  **
> 
>  
> 
> "Sha, Wanheda."  
>  _"Yes, Wanheda."_
> 
> 'Ouskejou Kru'.  
>  _Blue Cliff Clan._
> 
> 'Podakru'.  
>  _Lake People._
> 
> 'Delfikru'.  
>  _Delphi Clan._
> 
> "Ai gaf chich yu op, beja Heda."  
>  _"I want to speak to you, please Commander."_
> 
> "Jok."  
>  _"Fuck."_
> 
> "Moba Heda. Ba ai gada meija imfou in."  
>  _"Apologies Commander. But I have urgent news."_
> 
> "Yu beda."  
>  _"You better."_
> 
> "Sha Heda."  
>  _"Yes Commander."_


	16. sistin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slight time jump forward to Clarke and Lexa in bed, enjoying the peace of being alone together. Lexa recalls the events of the last day or so, from her and Clarke arriving at Camp Jaha, war-planning with Skaikru, to Abby kind of suspecting something more is going on between Clarke and Lexa. Drama is sure to ensue. Also quite a bit of Raven in this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So these are definitely coming quicker now right? I want it all caught up with ff.net by the time chapter 20 hits. As always thanks to everyone who is reading this story, enjoying it, talking about it and leaving kudos :) If you feel like leaving a comment then please do so, or you can say hi over on [Twitter](http://twitter.com/talented_gemx) or [Tumblr](http://talentedgemx.tumblr.com) :)

Lexa lay there, enjoying the quiet. Enjoying the peace before the inevitable storm. There was the faint press of boots into mud and the low murmuring of voices that she was accustomed to at night while on the road. The faint crackling of fire and occasional sound of horses; Balius included who would be out there with Comet and the others.

 

It all registered somewhere in the back of Lexa's mind and it was comforting. Usual and familiar and Lexa breathed it in as she lay there sated and rested and content. Those things however she wasn't quite so familiar with but she knew it could become that way. That in fact she could easily find herself propelled into such luxuries with Clarke pressed in tightly at her chest as she was, also sated and rested and content. Blonde hair fanned out across her shoulder and the pillow next to her, as Clarke had chosen her body rather than the fluffy material to rest her cheek upon.

 

Clarke's breathing was even, her leg hooked over Lexa's and her arm wrapped casually over Lexa's abdomen and hip. She hadn't moved since they'd cuddled together so Lexa assumed she had fallen asleep which was good, in her opinion, as the next few days would decide everything. Clarke would need her strength so Lexa was more than happy to let her rest, her one arm around Clarke's shoulder and against her back and the other in at her side, her fingers drawing idle patterns against Clarke's wrist and forearm.

 

It was relaxing, really, more than anything and Lexa could feel it, that old, vague and unfamiliar feeling of finally having the person she wanted. Not just for sex and pleasure which was a different feeling altogether, but instead for moments such as these and the fact that she hadn't had it for so long just made her want it all the more. It was dangerous she knew, and not such a thing the Commander should do, especially not right now but there was something about Clarke that Lexa just couldn't resist. She was beautiful, intelligent, captivating. When Clarke entered a room people took notice, and when she spoke people listened whether they agreed with her or not. She was stubborn, arrogant but also caring, compassionate and such an optimist. She saw possibility where others would not and Lexa loved her for it, as well as everything else. It was pointless to deny it Lexa knew, therefore she had stopped and now she just accepted it. Most importantly though, Clarke made Lexa happy and Lexa knew she could make her happy in return.

 

Nia however was waging war and Skaikru were not yet her thirteenth clan, and not until Nia was dead and Clarke and her people were officially a part of the Coalition could Lexa rest easy. Clarke could not be hers until then. Lexa could not ensure her safety until then, so before that time Lexa could not give Clarke the things she wanted, including herself, because of course Heda's people had to come first.

 

It made Lexa shift a little uneasily and Clarke must have felt it because she stirred and all Lexa could do was sigh under her breath. She wasn't doing things the right way at all but with someone such as Clarke laying naked against her, pressing against her in all the rest places and her lips grazing Lexa's collar bone as they were, who was the Commander to resist?

 

"I can hear you thinking, Lex."

 

Clarke's sleepy, scratchy voice was definitely something Lexa wanted to hear more of and it made her smile, the corners of her mouth upturning a little as she angled her face down at Clarke's head. "I'm sorry," Lexa whispered after a few moments, her body warming as Clarke moved her hand and gripped possessively at her side. "I thought you were sleeping."

 

"Mnhmnhmmn," Clarke hummed as she stretched a little, her leg straightening as her foot wrapped tightly around Lexa's before she released it and relaxed again. "Kind of." She burrowed her face in closer to Lexa's neck. "You're comfy," she confessed into her skin.

 

All Lexa could do was smile wider. "Good," she replied as she pulled Clarke closer with the arm that was against her back.

 

They returned to silence for a few moments before Clarke stirred again, an eye slowly cracking open. "Do you think we'll win?" she asked, her sleepy state becoming quietly reflective.

 

Lexa blinked a few times, her chest suddenly feeling much heavier than it was before. Her pattern drawing stopped abruptly against Clarke's arm for a second or two as she contemplated the sudden turn of mood.

 

"Lex?"

 

Lexa breathed in deeply as she realised she was holding her breath and she tilted her head to the side to try and glance at Clarke's expression, pointless though it was from the position they were in. The pattern tracing recommenced. "Yes," came the simple answer. "There is nothing else to think."

 

Clarke brought her hand up and ran her fingertip across the top of Lexa's shoulder, just barely touching her skin. Lexa was always very matter-of-fact when it came to things like this Clarke was realising, and she liked it. She liked how Lexa always seemed so sure of herself, like no matter what happened she would know what to do, rightly or wrongly. Lexa always had a plan and she stuck by it and Clarke admired her for that.

 

Feeling safe, secure and reassured while curled up in her arms didn't hurt either. Clarke smiled as she sighed and tried to push the impeding war out of her mind. Just as she tried to push everything else out too, like what exactly would happen when what she was doing with Lexa became common knowledge. Luckily enough though when she lay in bed with Lexa it was something she could happily ignore, just like that morning in Polis and Clarke was content to let that happen again now.

 

What her mother would say to her the next time she saw her was definitely something she didn't want to think about. "After all this is over," Clarke said instead, taking her mind far, far away from the things that troubled her. "We should go somewhere."

 

Lexa quirked a brow, her fingers moving to thread through Clarke's hair. "Somewhere?" she questioned softly.

 

"Yeah," Clarke grinned as she lifted her head, her chin resting on Lexa's breastbone. "Away, from here," she continued, her eyes drifting to her fingers that were still dancing on Lexa's shoulder. "Just for a break."

 

Lexa's other brow quirked. "A break?" She kind of knew what Clarke was suggesting but it wasn't something any of her people ever did. Especially the Commander and her expression screamed it.

 

Clarke laughed a little at Lexa's astounded expression and she tapped her lightly on the shoulder. Clarke's brow then furrowed at her need for such a thing. "Just you and me, it'll be fun," and then she grinned some more.

 

Clarke's face was rather adorable and Lexa couldn't help but smile at her. Though as much as the very idea made her automatically want to do it, it was still an absurd concept. "You think once the Ice Queen has fallen there will be nothing to be done?"

 

Clarke bit on her lip and ducked her head a bit, her fingers pushing a little harder into Lexa's skin. "Well, not right away," she said quietly before she looked back to Lexa with a small pout, her thigh slipping a little higher between the Commander's legs. "When things have settled."

 

Lexa breathed heavier as a grin broke out across her face. What was developing between her and Clarke was giving her life. She knew she would do anything to protect it.

 

"Aren't you the Commander?" Clarke pressed, not giving Lexa the chance to respond. "Don't you make the rules?" she added with a smirk as her thigh pressed higher still, her fingers making their way from Lexa's shoulder and down across her breast. "Just us, for a little peace."

 

Lexa's eyes fluttered closed as Clarke's fingertips reached and began to play with her nipple. "I would take you anywhere," she breathed. "Anywhere you wish to go."

 

Clarke smiled and it was so full of affection she wasn't quite sure what to do with it. She wondered how long it would be before she stopped being amazed at how soft and sweet and adorable the big, bad, ruthless Commander of the twelve clans could be. It wasn't just in Lexa's eyes how sincere and loving she was, something which Clarke first realised in Lexa's tent the first time she had kissed her. It filtered through into every part of her. From the tone of her voice to the way she touched Clarke. The way she kissed her and the way she practically revered her.

 

How lucky Costia had been, Clarke considered in that moment, and how lucky she was now to be able to experience it too.

 

Clarke's contemplation ceased when Lexa opened her eyes and glanced up at her, bathing Clarke once again in the same softness she was just considering. Clarke had to look away, it was almost too overpowering sometimes and so she settled her head back in at Lexa's neck, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of her jaw as she did so. "The ocean," Clarke murmured, attempting again to distract her own thoughts. "I've still not seen it."

 

Lexa drew in a deep breath and enveloped Clarke in her arms once again, holding her close and resting the side of her jaw against the top of Clarke's head. Her hand returning to get lost in long blonde locks. "Then I will show you."

 

"Yeah?" Clarke smiled, knowing all along Lexa would.

 

"I am Heda," Lexa responded with a smile, her voice still soft and velvety. "I do not say what I don't mean."

 

Clarke just hummed and pressed another kiss to the hollow of Lexa's neck. It seemed as hard as she tried however she couldn't stop thinking about what was happening. Whatever this was with Lexa, the state of things with her mother and her friends. The war to come and what would happen if... she closed her eyes and held onto the Commander a little tighter. It was only yesterday when things seemed so strained with Lexa, when everyone was arguing again and the look her mother gave her just before she walked into Lexa's tent, well... and then Clarke frowned. Perhaps it wasn't the best idea, what she and Lexa were doing. At least not yet, anyway...

 

Clarke felt Lexa squeeze her a little harder and then she felt her lips press against her head.

 

"I will show you sand," Lexa began softly, as if she somehow sensed the change in Clarke's thought process. "And teach you about the tide."

 

Clarke couldn't help but smile. Lexa really did know her, it seemed. "The tide huh?" she pondered.

 

"Yes."

 

"Lex I can't swim."

 

Lexa really did love it when Clarke shortened her name like that. "Then I will teach you."

 

Clarke immediately liked the sound of that idea, even though the thought of water terrified her. She pressed her lips absently to Lexa's chest. "I'm nervous," she confessed, not being able to get the war out of her mind. "About what will happen."

 

"I won't let you drown."

 

It made Clarke chuckle against Lexa's skin. "About the war," she clarified.

 

Lexa smiled because of course she knew and she squeezed Clarke to let her know. She kissed her head again. "It will be okay, Clarke. It will all be okay." Regardless of her own words Lexa felt an anxious fluttering in her chest. Once again she had too much to lose in this war and she too, was very worried about it.

 

Clarke snuggled closer. "You have to say that," she mumbled. "You're Heda."

 

Lexa just held her tighter. "Trust me, Clarke," she whispered, not letting herself feel bad for what she had ordered Dax to do. For what she had discussed with Clarke's mother. It was necessary. "Now sleep." Her heart felt heavy though, regardless of her words and she held onto Clarke as if it was the last time she might be able to, letting her mind drift back over the events of the past two days.

 

**

 

_The ride to Camp Jaha was tense to say the least. Clarke was still angry and she rode a way back from the head of the party. Away from Lexa and Dax and instead she rode with the first line of warriors, Zeek closely following her who had barely said three words since their departure, either._

_Lexa felt the rebuff but there was little she could do about it. Perhaps when they arrived and Clarke saw her people were safe she would relent but regardless this was unnecessary. Clarke had been agitated throughout the meeting that took place before they left and there was hardly enough time before dawn broke for them to get a decent amount of sleep. Lexa had opted to leave Clarke to her mood and spent time instead readying Polis for her absence._

_"Heda," Dax announced from her left. "We need a moment to rest the horses."_

_Lexa grumbled internally and pushed out a heavy breath. They had been riding nonstop and were in need of a small respite and Lexa became immediately annoyed at letting Clarke distract her._

_The Commander pulled on Balius' reins and quickly reared him up, patting him on the neck as soon as he came to a stop. "Hod op!" she shouted, bringing everyone else to a stop, too._

_Zeek stopped abruptly and Clarke was a little slow to follow suit, Comet more or less stopping because that's what all the other horses were doing, rather than what her rider was instructing her to do. After a moment or so Clarke tugged on her reigns and brought Comet around, urging her back toward Zeek who was metre or so behind her._

_"What's going on?" she asked, when she was close enough to him. "Why have we stopped?"_

_Even though it wasn't wholly evident in her tone Zeek could tell she was angry, and moreover he could foresee the barrage of questions that would fall from her lips about the decision to stop._

_He looked at her squarely. "Yu ste pis, chil yu au."_

_Clarke rolled her eyes and sighed. She certainly wasn't in the frame of mind to think over her Trigedasleng lessons and translate that one. "I'm not in the mood, Zeek."_

_He inched his horse forward in an attempt to emphasise his seriousness. Clarke had definitely grown in his affections but her contempt sometimes toward Lexa he couldn't tolerate. "Yu gaf nautal in, den nautal op."_

_Clarke blinked a few times at Zeek's tone, not fully understanding what he said but assuming it was some kind of a reprimand with the way he was staring at her with his face angled down toward her and his shoulders hunched a little. She was more surprised than anything, and he literally stunned her into silence. Her attention was taken by movement over his shoulder as she saw Lexa moving toward them._

_Somehow Zeek seemed to be aware of this fact and he lowered his voice into a whisper. "Do not embarrass Heda before her warriors."_

_Clarke was surprised once more, his comment making her eyes narrow. "You think I'm as stupid as that?" She knew Zeek was simply reacting to how she had been behaving since leaving Polis but nevertheless she didn't appreciate his words. It wasn't his place and she had to bite her tongue not to inform him so._

_Zeek pulled his lips into a thin line and exhaled a hard breath as he softened his demeanour somewhat. "I think you are stubborn," he responded quickly with a quirk of his brow before he glanced over his shoulder to see how close Lexa was. He then turned back to Clarke was a much more familiar expression on his face. "Do not be foolish," he finished as he pulled on his horses reigns and trotted off._

_Clarke followed his movement and wasn't quite sure what to make of it but before she could dwell on it Lexa was within a few feet of her, sitting proudly atop Balius with her usual regal air and confidence._

_"Clarke," Lexa announced, purely to get her attention._

_Clarke turned to face her and sighed in response. "Commander."_

_Lexa didn't move at all, not even her expression but Clarke could see the way her eyes changed, before they quickly changed back again. Clarke would easily find everything about Lexa in full battle gear, sat proudly on her large, intimidating black warhorse with her sharp, elevated jaw-line all rigid and her war paint so menacing, her deep green eyes as vibrant as they were piercing so utterly, undeniably attractive if she wasn't still so annoyed with her... She sucked in another breath._

_Clarke cursed her body for not listening to her brain. She was pretty sure she would find Lexa devastatingly hot no matter the scenario._

_"We rest," Lexa stated loudly and rather obviously, ripping Clarke from her treacherous thoughts._

_Clarke hardened herself again and became even more annoyed. "We do not need to rest," she asserted, but at least she had lowered her voice so no one else would hear._

_Lexa just stared at her. Long and hard and with a steeliness that Clarke wasn't so used to. Not anymore._

_Clarke licked her lips and tried again. "The sooner we get to Jaha, the safer they'll be."_

_Lexa raised her chin further, not by much but it spoke volumes and when she spoke her tone was completely calm. "I will not repeat myself, Clarke."_

_Clarke definitely wasn't used to this but she was also aware that she was pushing it. With plenty to say but knowing it would do her no good Clarke just sighed and dismounted Comet, turning so that she was looking out at the group of warriors milling around ahead of them._

_Lexa remained where she was, her attention as well falling on her warriors. "You still do not trust me." It wasn't a question and although her frame remained hard her tone softened, just a little._

_Clarke's eyes fell closed and she all at once seemed to realise that as hard as she found things, Lexa was in the same boat too. In fact it was probably harder for her, somehow. "I do," she confessed before she opened her eyes and turned around, looking up at Lexa who's body language still didn't change._

_Lexa instead swept her head around and to the side, blinking a few times as she did and that was how Clarke knew that the Commander wasn't feeling as nonchalant as she looked._

_"This will not work, Clarke," Lexa began, her voice now really quiet and the barest of emotion breaking into it. "If you do not."_

_That hit Clarke head on and her shoulders drooped with it. She stepped a little closer to Balius. "I do, Lexa," she tried to affirm as Lexa gazed down on her softly, but then just as quickly all of her emotion was gone. Clarke tried again. "I do."_

_Lexa took a sharp breath in. "We shall see," was all she could say as she swept her gaze away and then rode off._

_**_

_When they arrived at Camp Jaha the gates opened instantly, there four warriors who were leading the caravan entering without so much as a word. Clarke was immediately behind them however when they each stopped their horses just inside the gates, Clarke continued on dismounting Comet in front of Sgt. Miller and a few others._

_"Where's my mom?" Clarke asked Miller, not wasting time with pleasantries._

_Sgt. Miller's attention was firmly on Lexa and the warriors around her, just outside the gates. He felt a little easier when Kane, Octavia and Bellamy emerged and entered their camp. "Inside," he responded when he looked back at Clarke. "She's waiting for you."_

_"Good," Clarke nodded. "I need to talk to her." She turned just as Bellamy and Octavia approached her side, Zeek being just behind them, too. She acknowledged him and then directed her gaze at Lexa who was still sitting astride Balius. Lexa nodded her head at her and so Clarke did the same, turning quickly before disappearing inside the Ark._

_Just as they were entering however, one of the guards either side of the Ark doors stepped in front of Zeek._

_"Not you," he barked, and Zeek immediately went for his sword._

_Clarke didn't even think anything of it, so used as she was to Zeek being her shadow. She grabbed at the guards arm. "It's okay," she hurried, gesturing out to Zeek with her other hand. "He's okay."_

_"He's not coming," Bellamy was quick to add gruffly. "Not on the Ark, and not with that," he said with a nod to Zeek's sword._

_Zeek just looked like he wanted to draw his weapon even more but Clarke stepped between them. "Zeek, I'll be fine on the Ark. You don't need to come with me." It wasn't that she agreed with Bellamy, she just knew Zeek would be safer outside the Ark than within it. At least at the moment._

_Zeek furrowed his brow at her, quite conflicted with what to do. His duty was to follow Clarke no matter the Skaikru idiot who tried to stand in his way. Zeek snarled his lip a little at the challenge, knowing he could flatten Bellamy in an instant as well as anyone else who dared prevent him carrying out his orders._

_Clarke's eyes though, were beseeching. She could see this going downhill fast and they'd only just arrived. She swallowed nervously and felt how much Bellamy took offense as his posture stiffened behind her. She knew she had to say something else before a brawl broke out and she didn't really know what but luckily, Lexa saved her._

_"Zeek!" Lexa's authoritative voice rang out, everyone in the near vicinity stopping what they were doing to turn and pay attention. After a moment or so Zeek turned his head to regard her and she met his gaze firmly. "Chil yu daun."_

_Clarke breathed a sigh of relief as she took a step back purposefully into Bellamy to get him to back off, too. Zeek swept a final glance at Clarke before she went inside the Ark, followed closely by Bellamy who couldn't resist a slight smirk at Zeek before he went inside._

_"As soon as she leaves, return to her side," Lexa instructed her young warrior as he took a step away from the Ark. He nodded his head in compliance and then moved to join the rest of his people._

_Lexa gazed at the Ark doors through which Clarke just disappeared and minutely licked her lips. She could only imagine the questions that would come at her once she met with Abby but there was nothing Lexa could do to help at that moment. Later Lexa would invite the Skaikru council to discuss the plan for the next few days, possibly even longer than that but until then all she could do was give Clarke the time alone she had requested with her people to prepare discuss their renewed alliance._

_She felt Balius becoming restless beneath her and she knew he needed rest and food. "Taim Balius yu reshop," she murmured as she gently patted his neck as Dax, already dismounted from his horse came over to her._

_"Heda," he greeted. "We shall set up camp out here?"_

_Lexa once more cast a glance at the Ark before she looked down at her general. "Yes. With the rest of the army."_

_He nodded his head and walked back over to their gathered warriors, barking orders at them in trigedasleng to hurry up and set up camp with army that was left to protect Camp Jaha, starting of course with the Commander's tent._

_Marcus had been loitering at the gates, questioning the guards on anything significant that had happened in his absence. After watching Dax walk away he took a few purposeful steps over to Lexa, four very intimidating guards of her own sat on their horses just a few feet behind her._

_He felt like he was building a rapport of some sort with Lexa but wasn't at all sure about the level that it was at. He cleared his throat a little nervously. "Welcome, once more to Camp Jaha, Commander."_

_Lexa peered down at him, her expression completely unreadable before the faintest of smiles appeared on her lips. "Mochof, Marcus."_

_Lexa's attention was taken by the commotion involved in her warriors unravelling tarps, banging tent poles together and being able to converse freely with each other now they weren't focusing completely on the hidden dangers that may be lurking in the forest during their journey. Her gaze then fell on her army just a little further away._

_"I see my army has protected your people well," Lexa stated proudly, happy that nothing of note had happened since she was last there._

_Marcus glanced at the army too. "Yes, it seems so," he responded pleasantly, and then Lexa looked at him. "Thank you. Your generosity has been deeply appreciated."_

_Lexa felt like smiling. She wasn't so sure all Skaikru would share his sentiment but she would take it nonetheless. "You are welcome."_

_Marcus furrowed his brow when he realised what Lexa's warriors were doing. "Commander you know you can stay inside..."_

_Lexa's brow was quick to quirk up at that._

_"...You're most welcome to. There's plenty of room inside, you don't need to set up camp out here."_

_Somehow Lexa's posture straightens even more at the thought of such a thing. Her back going a little rigid. "I have spent as much time as I wish to inside your metal walls."_

_Marcus immediately looked affronted and for some reason Lexa felt inclined to soften the blow._

_"However I appreciate the invitation," she offered, her expression a little softer and her shoulders not as square. Not by much, though, but she gave herself points for effort at relationship building._

_Marcus smiled in response and flicked his eyes to the ground before bringing them up again. "I best get inside so our discussions can start."_

_Lexa nodded and at a lack of anything else to say she gave Balius' reigns a tug to move him in the direction of their temporary camp. "I will send for your council when I am ready."_

_Before Marcus could even nod Lexa was moving away with her four guards in tow so he turned and headed for the Ark, ordering for the gates to be closed as he went._

_**_

_Clarke sighed as she stood there, waiting for Marcus to enter the meeting room so they could recap what they learned in Polis about Azgeda and their impending attack on Lexa and presumably, them as well._

_She felt the tension in her shoulders and the stress scratching at her bones. It was always such a rollercoaster, she was realising, and it was only in such moments of quiet such as these that it occurred to her what exactly was happening. The enormity of it, and the enormity of her role. She blinked a few times and tried to shake it away, preferring it when she was too busy to contemplate such things so she swallowed heavily and prayed Marcus would hurry the hell up._

_As soon as this was over they could all meet with Lexa and the others. Then the plan could be put into action, the war would begin and then it would be over. Lexa would win, their alliance would hold and then they could all live in peace. Or something similar._

_Or so she hoped._

_What if Nia won? What if Lexa died..._

_Clarke blinked like rapid fire and anxiously rubbed her palms against her hips. She fidgeted a little and practically ripped her mind away from such a thought. She had no idea what she would do, and to be honest she was rather surprised at the amount of panic that instilled within her. She was tired, she knew, weary, and the last significant conversation she had with Lexa was an argument._

_Clarke decided she needed to speak with Lexa alone before the day was out. She needed to apologise for being so hot headed because they couldn't go running into a war on an argument, not with what they now meant to each other, whatever that was...what if something should happen and--_

_"Sorry I'm late," Marcus announced as he strode into the room, nodding at his fellow council members. "Just making sure our guests are settled."_

_"Is that what you call them?" Bellamy interjected flatly._

_Clarke rolled her eyes and felt the banging at the base of her skull escalate, she was just thankful Marcus was on her side. She looked up and noticed her mother staring at her, her eyes inquisitive and brow furrowed and it made Clarke nervous so she managed to pull her lips into a thin line in an attempt at a reassuring smile. The last thing she needed was Abby questioning her as well as the plan which Clarke knew she was sure to do._

_"Yes," Marcus responded, throwing Bellamy a reprimanding look. "We shall extend them every courtesy."_

_Clarke folded her arms over her chest. "They can't really be guests on their own land," she pointed out with a sigh, wanting to sideline anyone who might be thinking along the same lines as Bellamy._

_Bellamy just scoffed but Marcus was quick to cut him off._

_"This isn't what we need to discuss," he said with a hand out in front of him as if to pacify the situation._

_"You're right," Abby added loudly, taking a step forward. "So tell us," she began, her eyes sweeping from Marcus to Clarke. "What happened in Polis, and what can we expect from the Ice Nation?"_

_Marcus sucked in a breath as he too took his eyes to Clarke. "Clarke?" he invited, actively handing her the lead._

_Honestly Clarke didn't expect anything less so she pushed out a breath and began to summarise what happened._

_**_

_There was a thud as two palms slammed down on Raven's workbench which effectively made several small components jump up and drop back down. They took Raven's attention and she stopped what she was doing for a second to watch them, happy that none of them rolled off the bench before she went back to her radio. When no words were forthcoming from the palm slammer Raven finally spoke up, but only once she had put the final few touches to her completed fifth radio._

_"Tough day?" she asked with a smirk, already knowing the answer._

_Clarke's head dropped between her shoulders and she sighed loudly. "Something like that," she muttered, the banging in her skull no better at all._

_"Well this is what happens when you have meetings without me."_

_Clarke sighed and pushed herself away from the bench, turning around and leaning her weight against it. "You're definitely coming to the meeting with Lexa later," she said as she rubbed her fingertips against her forehead and then added as an afterthought, "Why weren't you at the council meeting?" Clarke turned her head to the side so she could just about see Raven who was sat at the bench behind her._

_Raven narrowed her eyes at a setting on her latest radio and then smiled triumphantly when she turned the dial and heard static. "Because_ someone _gave me a couple days to make five new radios and a bomb powerful enough to collapse a valley," she said with a fake scowl. "I'm a genius Clarke but I can't stop time."_

_Clarke smiled as she turned around. "Oh really? I thought that was in your remit?"_

_Raven just quirked a brow at her. "It's next on the to-do list."_

_Clarke grinned and leaned her hip against the bench. "So how are the bomb and the radios?" she asked feeling suddenly a little lighter. "Did you get them done?"_

_Raven looked at her as if it was an absurd question. "Are you doubting me, Princess?" she asked aghast._

_Clarke quickly shook her head. "Not for a second."_

_"Good," Raven smiled, gesturing to the pile of radios to Clarke's left._

_Clarke's expression lit up and she picked one up. "Oh these are excellent."_

_"I know," Raven acknowledged. "Honestly I was done this morning but nothing could've dragged me to that council meeting."_

_Clarke flashed her eyes, her headache swiftly returning as she fiddled with the dials on the radio she was holding._

_Raven watched Clarke's expression darken and thought she should probably know what she would be walking into later. "So how was it?" she asked as Clarke met her gaze. "Apart from infuriating and loud?"_

_Clarke sighed as she returned the radio to the bench, her breath taking a while to push by her lips. "Argumentative mostly," she admitted._

_"Really?" Raven feigned shock. "You do surprise me." Her grin must have been infectious because a small one broke across Clarke's lips, too._

_"I know right," Clarke murmured. "So different from our usual meetings."_

_Raven bit on her bottom lip. "Bellamy not in favour of fighting the Ice Queen with Lexa?"_

_Clarke's eyebrows shot up her forehead. "Not even a little bit."_

_"Did Polis not teach him the joys of a peaceful society?" There was sarcasm in Raven's tone but nonetheless she was exactly right._

_Clarke shook her head. "Luckily the decision isn't his but he has influence over people who could cause problems for us."_

_Raven shrugged a little bit. "Well he does have a point."_

_Clarke's gaze hardened._

_Raven shrugged properly, this time. "I'm sorry Clarke but he does. You know I don't trust Lexa."_

_Clarke straightened her posture. "You trust the Ice Queen?"_

_Raven sighed heavily and it took a moment or so for her to answer. "I don't trust any of them."_

_Clarke let her fingertips drop to the surface of the bench before she pinned Raven with her gaze. "Do you trust me?"_

_Raven looked up to meet it. "You know I do, Clarke," she responded seriously. "I can just see his point."_

_Clarke allowed herself to relax a little. "I can see his point too, but we have to start somewhere."_

_Raven got to her feet. "And Lexa is as good a start as any."_

_Clarke's brow furrowed. "More than."_

_After a couple of minutes of silence Raven decided to lighten the mood. "I'm with you, Princess," she declared with a grin. "You don't need to convince me."_

_It made Clarke smile as well. "Good."_

_"Is your mom onside?" Raven asked as a sudden afterthought to which Clarke just threw her a disgruntled look. "Ah," Raven breathed before changing the subject. She glanced around her workshop and only just seemed to notice Clarke was alone. "Where's your bodyguard?" She picked up a couple of radios and started to make her away around the side of the bench._

_Clarke gathered up the rest of them. "Zeek?" She turned and waited for Raven to come around. "It was decided he should erm, stay outside the Ark. At least for the time being."_

_Raven seemed to pick up on the details Clarke was leaving out and it made her smirk. "Ahh. Well, it must be weird being constantly followed around by a grounder."_

_Clarke shrugged. "Honestly I don't mind. I got used to him," she admitted, realising she actually kind of missed him. Raven made it around the side of the bench and they both headed toward the door. "He's actually a great guy."_

_Raven looked at her with surprise._

_"Really," Clarke nodded. "They all are, actually. I got to know some great people in TonDC and there are worse things than having a highly trained warrior ready to fight for you when there are people out there who want to kill you."_

_"I heard that," Raven acquiesced. "So what's Polis actually like?"_

_They got to the door and Clarke held it open for Raven to pass through. "Just like I said on the radio, Rae, you'd love it there."_

_"Well maybe you can take me on a tour once all this is over."_

_Clarke smiled and she felt her headache start to subside. "I'd love to do that."_

_"Awesome," Raven said enthusiastically. "Assuming we aren't all dead or anything."_

_"Raven."_

_**_

_"I assume you are aware of the events in Polis?" Lexa began in a firm voice, expressed directly to the Skaikru in attendance. She held a rigid and authoritative stance at the head of the table, war paint dark and prominent around her eyes. She was in full battle gear although the battle wasn't until tomorrow._

_"As much as was necessary," Clarke responded loudly, her voice filling the tent much as Lexa's did. She held Lexa's gaze in the hope that she would realise she didn't mean the attack in the tower, not that Lexa would ever bring that up. Lexa nodded and that for all intents and purposes, was good enough for Clarke._

_"Good," Lexa continued, her chin elevated and shoulders pushed back. "I shall be brief but first I shall introduce Luna kom Floukru," Lexa gestured to her right and Luna nodded, all of Skaikru's attention falling on her. "Azizi kom Ingranrona and Kaia kom Trishana. They lead the clans closest to us." She then nodded to Abby and her people across from her. This is Abby, Raven, Bellamy, Octavia and Marcus kom Skaikru. You know Lincoln."_

_Everyone sort of muttered or nodded their introductions and Lexa quickly moved on. She looked down at the map on the table. "As you are aware, Azgeda advance upon our position and we have learned another group advance here, on our eastern villages." She placed her index finger tip down on the map. "I have already sent warriors to patrol here," she said as she slid her finger just to the east._

_"Why?" Bellamy quickly interjected. "I didn't think they were attacking."_

_Everyone turned to Bellamy and Lexa peered at him from beneath her gaze. "We will not know their intentions for certain until they arrive and I will not leave it to chance." She straightened back up and rested her palm on the butt of her sword at her hip. "A patrol here will discourage any attack."_

_"And what do we do in the meantime?" Abby asked, her arms across her chest. "Just wait?"_

_Lexa tipped her head back a little and let out a quiet breath. "Yes," she answered slowly, as if she were instructing a child. "This is strategy." In that moment Lexa thought a child of the coalition would know more about war and strategy than Abby kom skaikru, anyway._

_Clarke could see Lexa was already annoyed._

_"Why don't we attack?" Bellamy asked with a shrug. "We have the fire power."_

_Clarke looked at him. "Bellamy..."_

_"He has a point," Abby continued. "Raven has more than one bomb."_

_"One bomb will be enough," Lexa cut in, wanting to pull this conversation back to point._

_"Will it?" Abby asked._

_Lexa clenched her jaw. "For the moment," she responded, and then she raised her voice to make everyone take note of who was in charge. "The bomb will force Azgeda through one location where they are less familiar. It will not deter them but it will slow them and when they engage us," she lowered her voice into a growl, "we will be ready."_

_There was silence for a moment as they all took in the steeliness and fire in Lexa's demeanour. She was angry, that was for certain and Abby felt uneasy. She knew the Commander could be unpredictable but there wasn't much more she could do about it. Clarke seemed to believe in her and for better or worse, they were all following her._

_"And where will you be?" Abby directed at Lexa, interested to know the answer._

_Lexa turned her gaze on the Chancellor and her eyes were dark and dangerous, it even made Clarke swallow a little apprehensively. She flashed her teeth in a scowl. "With my army."_

_Clarke immediately felt uncomfortable and she wished she could have a few moments alone with Lexa. She knew she must have contributed to the Commander's mood after last night and today, but now she seemed more aggravated and on edge than usual. Her first instinct was to comfort her but she knew she couldn't. She wasn't sure if Lexa would welcome her at all after today. She shifted where she stood and took an abstract interest in the map on the table and what was worse, Abby noticed it._

_What Abby also noticed was the way Lexa regarded Clarke when Dax started talking, when everyone else's attention was on him and then on the map as he pointed at it. Out of the corner of her eye Abby noticed the two of them alternate between avoiding each other's gazes and pinning each other with them. It was disconcerting, but Abby filed it away for later._

_"We will hold two fronts," Dax began, taking the first opportunity to remove the focus from his Heda. "Here and here," he said as he indicated the locations on the map. "I will lead one, Heda the other." He leaned on the table then and glanced up at the others. "We depart at dawn."_

_"Indra will return to Trigeda shortly with her warriors," Lexa picked up, her tone now a little calmer. She focused her attention on Octavia. "If you wish, Octavia you may join her."_

_Octavia couldn't hide her surprise. "Yes," she grinned, with absolutely no thought at all. "Mochof, Heda."_

_Lexa simply blinked and nodded in response._

_"Like hell you are," Bellamy intervened angrily._

_Octavia rolled her eyes and Lincoln turned to him with a frown._

_Bellamy swept his eyes around the table before he lowered his voice and spoke directly to his sister. "You're our people, O. Not theirs."_

_"It's not your decision, Bell," Clarke snapped at him, "and this isn't the place to discuss it," she added quietly, not wanting them to squabble in front of Lexa and her people._

_"It's my choice," Octavia responded loudly. "And I'm going."_

_Bellamy looked like he was going to argue before Lincoln glared at him. "You are in no position to give orders," he said quietly enough, "especially to your sister."_

_"You don't give orders, Bellamy," Abby decided to wade in but then Lexa swiftly cut her off._

_"That's right," the Commander said and once again her voice echoed around the tent. The way skaikru came to decisions annoyed her beyond words and more to the point it was unnecessary, underneath it all it was Clarke who they followed, anyway. "You will all do well to remember who does give orders and who is in charge." She looked a little angry again. "Dax is the leader of my army and those of you who will fight will need to make themselves known to him."_

_"That's me, Commander," Kane spoke up, finally finding something to contribute. "I have the names of our soldiers who will fight with you."_

_That caused the corners of Lexa's lips to upturn, just a little. "Good," she nodded. "You will speak with Dax after this meeting."_

_"Yes, Commander," Kane responded._

_Raven nudged Clarke in the ribs. "What's up with Lexa?" she whispered. It wasn't that she knew the Commander even a little bit but she did seem particularly aggravated for no good reason._

_Clarke leaned in closer to her. She knew the reason well enough. "She's worried about Polis," she lied. "Worried about the war." It's not like she could tell her they'd had a row and this was the result._

_Raven raised her eyebrows. "You'd think she'd be used to wars by now."_

_Clarke threw her an unimpressed look. Dax started talking more about strategy and battle lines and what started as a fleeting curiosity Raven was definitely becoming more curious the more Dax spoke._

_"Tell me about him," Raven whispered to Clarke, and Clarke did a bit of a double take._

_"What?"_

_"Dax," Raven continued, her eyes flicking down his body. "He's interesting."_

_Clarke rolled her eyes. "Not now," she hissed, trying to avoid Lexa's gaze throughout Raven's impromptu private conversation. "But he's a good guy, from what I can tell." She thought it best not to mention that he was Gustus' second, the guy who planted poison on her what seemed like an age ago._

_"Hmmm," Raven muttered. Good guys weren't what she was after but she had to admit Dax had a hell of a good look about him._

_"This radio," Luna started, holding one in her hand as she spoke. "Tell me more about it."_

_Clarke elbowed Raven who suddenly sprung into life. She glanced at the radio in Luna's hand. "Communication," she responded rather animatedly. "You speak into it and someone who has another miles away can hear and speak to you through it."_

_Luna nodded at the object, rather impressed. Azizi who was standing next to her also looked interested and nudged her, causing Luna to hand it over._

_"I can give you a demo later if you'd like," Raven continued. Dax also looked impressed even though he had seen it before._

_"A demonstration would be good," Lexa accepted, her tone now very calm. "Thank you, Raven."_

_Raven nodded. "Sure."_

_Lexa still just looked at her._

_Clarke nudged Raven once more._

_"Uhh you're welcome," Raven rephrased and after a moment, Clarke nudged her again. "Commander," she finished with a sigh and only then Lexa nodded at her._

_"Do you have more of these?" Kaia asked, the radio now under inspection in her hands._

_"I have some right here," Raven said as she gestured to the pile of radios next to her. "Not enough for everyone but enough so that each unit outlined in the plan can communicate with each other."_

_This time Dax grinned at her and Raven grinned in return. There was silence as everyone seemed enamoured by this black device and so Clarke seized the opportunity._

_"If they work well over the coming few days we can always make more," she offered, looking directly at Lexa. "I think they're something all of the clans would benefit from."_

_Lexa almost smiled, this time. "I believe so too," she responded fondly._

_Raven though was glaring at Clarke. "If, they work?" she scoffed. "Of course they will work."_

_"If my people had this where they are," Luna started, the radio now back with her and balancing on her palm. "I would be able to hear them speak from here?"_

_"Yeah," Raven shrugged. "Depending on how far away they are. They do have a limited range."_

_All of the grounders looked confused._

_"Right," Raven said as she scratched at her forehead. "The antenna's communicate with each other," she tried to explain, picking up a radio from the pile and pointing at the antenna. "They have to remain within a certain distance of each other. If one radio goes beyond that then it won't work."_

_That seemed to do it. Lexa however was nodding in understanding so if someone didn't understand they didn't voice it._

_"The range cannot be extended?" Dax asked, and this time Raven smiled at him first._

_"Sure it can," she nodded enthusiastically. "However we would need something to boost it."_

_Confusion swept over their faces again but Lexa quickly got the conversation back on track._

_"A subject for another time," she interjected as she held a palm in the air. "These will be most useful, not just for this war but beyond it." She smiled her appreciation at Clarke, "Mochof, Clarke."_

_"Pro, Heda," Clarke nodded in return._

_Raven was just about to say something along the lines of Clarke had nothing to do with the radios when Lexa started talking again._

_"Azizi, Luna, Kaia and their warriors will now also depart. Luna's people will set the bomb."_

_That got Raven's attention. "You might need some help with that. Don't want it misfiring."_

_Lexa's chin raised a little more. That she hadn't anticipated._

_"Raven..." Clarke began to say._

_"Not me, obviously," Raven said rolling her eyes. "As much as I would love to. I have a couple of people in mind though who-"_

_"-I'll do it," Bellamy cut in."_

_Everyone turned to him._

_"What do you know about bombs?" Raven asked as her brow furrowed._

_"More than you would think," Bellamy bit back. He turned to Abby who wasn't convinced. "I want to do this. I'll at least accompany whoever Raven recommends."_

_That sat easier with everyone and for want of cutting off another debate in front of Lexa and her people, Clarke quickly agreed. "Okay," she said in a hurry. Abby just stared at her. "At the very least he knows the terrain around here and I trust him to make sure nothing goes wrong."_

_"Nothing will go wrong," Luna snapped, looking annoyed at the insinuation._

_Lexa pounced on that before it got any worse. "Nothing will," the Commander echoed confidently. "It is decided. Raven will send her second and Bellamy will accompany them." She faced Luna. "You command the team," and then she turned back to Bellamy. "You will succumb to her lead."_

_Bellamy looked again like he wanted to argue but Clarke grabbed his wrist. "Understood," she said quickly, cutting him off completely._

_"Then it is settled," Lexa started again. "You all have your orders; you all know what needs to be done." She glanced at Clarke again and felt the familiar range of emotions sweep through her. It wasn't good to go into battle with things left how they were. They definitely needed to talk before the morning. She glanced around the table and met everyone's eyes, a mixture of fear and nerves colouring most of them. "Those of you moving out I wish you well and I will see you soon. The rest of you get some sleep. The coming days will be long and hard but we will prevail." Lexa puffed her chest out and made her voice as loud and as proud as possible. "Azgeda will fall and we will once again be victorious." It that moment she seemed deadly, and the people around her felt suddenly empowered. "Remember," she began lowly, "Jus drein, jus daun."_

_The familiar chant began and once more Clarke found herself getting caught up in it the rest of the skaikru however, aside from Lincoln, Octavia and Kane just became nervous._

_The chant died down after a few minutes and Lexa regarded them all once again. "Stay alert. When the horn sounds, we gather, for the enemy approaches."_

_"Sha, Heda," every grounder shouted before everyone started to depart from the tent._

_**_

_As everyone left Abby hung back and grabbed Clarke's arm, pulling her a little to the side. Clarke scrunched up her face in surprise and after Abby was certain no one would overhear, she pinned her daughter with a warning look._

_Clarke had no idea what was going on. "What is it?" she asked quietly, assuming it was something urgent due to her mother's behaviour. When Abby didn't respond right away Clarke swept her gaze worriedly around their now dark surroundings. "Mom," she breathed. "What?"_

_Abby took half a step back. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?"_

_Clarke shook her head, blinking a few times in confusion. "What?"_

_"In there," Abby replied, throwing her chin in the direction of the tent's entrance. Clarke followed her gaze but still looked confused. "With Lexa," Abby clarified._

_Clarke's eyebrows then shot up, a little. A sudden stunned feeling overtaking her. "Lexa," she repeated in a whisper, her mind being completely slow to catch on to Abby's meaning. "What uhm," she stuttered, "what about Lexa?"_

_Abby folded her arms over her chest and pushed out a heavy breath. "You and Lexa," she answered firmly. "I'm not stupid, Clarke."_

_Clarke's throat quickly went dry and for a moment, all coherent thought vanishing from her. The Ice Nation descending on them at that very second would be a blessing she considered, and she actually prayed for it to happen._

_Abby leaned towards her. "Something between you two was going on in there-"_

_"-Mom," Clarke cut her off, her eyes having fallen closed for a second. When she opened them again she was back on track. "Lexa and I are trying to keep everyone alive." It came out a bit too confrontational but right then Clarke didn't much care._

_Abby was less than convinced. She shook her head. "I want to know, Clarke," she pressed._

_Clarke sighed dramatically and looked away from her mother. She was done with it, really. It had been a long few days and all she wanted to do was sleep but she needed to speak with Lexa. "What does it matter?" she all but spat out but then she got a hold of herself. "We're working together to-"_

_"-It matters," Abby began, knowing she had hit a nerve but not altogether sure if she wanted to know the whole truth. It would be... she didn't want to think about it. "Because if something is going on between you two-"_

_"-All that matters," Clarke cut in, glaring at her mother intently, "is that we win this war. That is all we need to concern ourselves with."_

_Abby relaxed her shoulders a little and casually raised a single eyebrow. "And then what?" she asked after a good few moments, her tone somewhat calmer._

_Clarke wasn't ready for the abrupt change in mood. "What?" she asked again._

_Abby just stared at her, realising probably a bit too late that aggressively arguing with her daughter wouldn't get her the answers she wanted. Or didn't want; she still wasn't sure. Ultimately though, she was concerned for Clarke which was what prompted this discussion in the first place. She needed to make sure Clarke knew what she was doing and so when she spoke, her tone was much gentler than before. "Clarke, I'm not blind."_

_Clarke knew going from confrontational to compassionate in mere seconds was something she got from her mother's side but she was still amazed whenever she did it, now not being any exception at all. She didn't know what to feel, apart from exhausted so in the end she just rolled her eyes as she struggled somewhat to formulate an answer. "We're..." Clarke sighed, not sure really what they were. "Close."_

_"Close?" Abby repeated quickly._

_"Yeah," Clarke sighed again, gesturing with her palms in the air a little. "We're close." She couldn't quite believe she was having this conversation._

_"Close how?" Abby pried, her expression screaming many things all at once. Surprise, shock and bewilderment amongst them._

_Clarke though wasn't really looking at Abby's expression. She wasn't really looking at her at all. "While I was in TonDC," Clarke began to explain. "We became, closer." She stared at the ground while she thought about how she could categorise it and when she decided she couldn't and once again met her mother's eyes, she quickly knew she should backtrack. Clarke shook her head. "Look we argued in Polis before we left. I wanted to be here sooner but Lexa wanted the meeting with the clan leaders first. That was it." Clarke's tone became rigid. "That's what you were picking up on in there."_

_Abby didn't believe her for a second. "Clarke..."_

_"Clarke," came Lexa's familiar curt voice from the entrance of the tent and Clarke had never been so glad to hear it. Moments later she appeared beside them. "May I speak with you?" she asked, not missing the strange look Abby was throwing her._

_Clarke was relieved to say the least. "Of course," she replied taking a stride away from her mother and toward the tent._

_"Clarke," Abby called to her. "We're not finished here."_

_"Yes we are," Clarke muttered over her shoulder before she went inside the tent._

_Lexa looked curiously from Clarke's retreating form to Abby who was glaring at her with a mix of judgement and fury. Lexa returned the look with a heavy frown as she stared Abby down, wondering what the hell was going on._

_After a few moments Abby raised her brow, scoffing out a breath and Lexa could tell she wanted to say something. Desperately even and perhaps if it wasn't for the battle tomorrow she would have._

_Lexa lifted her chin. "Chancellor," she said in a rather dismissive tone, indicating that she was about to follow Clarke into her tent._

_Abby's gaze narrowed considerable. "Commander," she returned with a hefty amount of venom. Abby then pulled her eyes away and left, the atmosphere in her wake decidedly chilly and uncomfortable._

_She knew, Lexa concluded, regardless of what Clarke had or hadn't told her. Or at least she had a good idea but regardless, it was something that would have to be dealt with another day. Lexa turned and entered the tent._

_**_

_"Was your mother okay?" Lexa asked as soon as she stepped inside._

_Clarke was standing rather awkwardly in the centre of the tent. She looked drained and she wasn't sure how much talking she was up for. "Who knows," Clarke sighed, rubbing at the back of her neck. "She's always worried about something."_

_Lexa just nodded. Clarke clearly didn't want to talk about it so she wasn't about to push her. She a step closer to Clarke. "Are you okay?" she asked, her tone all of a sudden full of care._

_It took all of Clarke's resolve not to melt. She didn't want to argue she just wanted a hug, but she had no idea what Lexa wanted to talk about. The day had been full of war planning so surely it wasn't something else to do with that?_

_Clarke sighed again. "I'm fine," she answered quietly._

_Lexa took another step, sizing Clarke up. "You do not look fine, Clarke."_

_Clarke dropped Lexa's gaze and swept her eyes around the floor. She knew she was stupid for holding a grudge against Lexa earlier and now it seemed like the least of their problems. She felt her shoulders ache and she just couldn't be doing with it anymore. "I'm sorry for before," she offered in a whisper, when her eyes found Lexa's again._

_That surprised Lexa and it made her blink a few times. Momentarily she was at a loss for something to say._

_Clarke shrugged, trying to rationalise it. "I just get, I don't know. Overprotective, sometimes."_

_Lexa actually smiled, at that, and Clarke almost looked offended. "I know how you get, Clarke," Lexa whispered, closing the distance between them even more. "It's one of the reasons why..."_

_Clarke's expression really did melt, that time. Her eyes darted around Lexa's face urging her to continue._

_Lexa though stopped in her tracks and instead lifted her hand to caress Clarke's cheek. Her skin was so smooth, Lexa thought, and so very beautiful._

_"Why what?" Clarke whispered._

_Lexa made herself hold it all in as she pulled Clarke closer to her. "You do not need to be sorry, Clarke."_

_Clarke understood. Her heart ached a little but it was hard to be disappointed when Lexa was touching her like this. When Lexa was being like this. "I do," Clarke smiled as her hands came to rest on Lexa's hips. She pouted a little. "It's my fault we argued."_

_"Arguing is inevitable," Lexa admitted as she leaned in and pushed her lips against Clarke's forehead, her fingers getting lost in her blonde hair. She then pulled back again. "But at least we have now."_

_Her voice was like magic, Clarke considered as she felt the warmth of her tone warm up her insides and just like that everything felt a little better. Clarke pushed up on her toes and pressed their lips together, kissing for the first time in what felt like forever and Clarke knew she was wrong before, she had never been so glad as she was in that very moment._

_Lexa felt Clarke's fingers digging into her hips and she was helpless against the sensation that filled her. Starting off in her gut, travelling the length of her spine and exploding in her brain and when Clarke brushed her tongue along Lexa's lower lip she prayed the tingling in her chest would never end._

_Clarke opened her mouth and Lexa whimpered into it, holding Clarke impossibly close against her and angling her head as the kiss deepened and intensified three-fold. Clarke moaned too as Lexa's hands trailed down her back and massaged her skin even through her layers of clothes. Clarke was spinning and there was absolutely nothing she wanted to think about for the rest of the night other than the Commander, her wonderful lips, talented fingers and amazing tongue._

_"Moba, Heda," said a very awkward and somehow exasperated voice, emanating from the entrance of the tent._

_Clarke and Lexa stopped moving at exactly the same time however they remained holding onto each other with their eyes closed for at least a few seconds._

_"You sent for me," Dax continued._

_Lexa pulled herself out of Clarke's embrace and turned her gaze on her general, sucking in a very deep breath as she composed herself. She couldn't be angry, she had sent for him after all. His timing was just epically spectacular. She was going to have to have a word with him about it, somehow._

_"Yes," she responded after a moment or so, her eyes turning on Clarke who was looking a little flushed and more than a little dishevelled. Clarke reached for the back of her neck once more and massaged the skin there with her palm. "I must speak with Dax privately," she informed her as she folded her arms behind her back._

_"Oh," Clarke practically choked out. "Then I'll go."_

_"No," Lexa replied quickly, before Clarke could even take a step. "You may stay," she continued with a smile that reached her eyes. "I will return shortly."_

_Clarke didn't really know what to say so she simply nodded, watching as Lexa moved passed her and then left the tent, Dax following closely behind._

_Clarke sighed loudly as her shoulders drooped noticeably, her fingers working at the knot just at the base of her neck. She wondered if Lexa might rub if for her later and the thought made her smile before a wide grin consumed her face. She was glad Lexa invited her to talk because being with her like this was a blessing, Clarke was slowly learning. No one made her feel as safe as Lexa did and oddly enough, no one made her feel as cared for either. Or as wanted, or as desired. Perhaps even as loved?_

_Clarke shook her head but the grin remained fixed in place as she walked herself slowly around the tent, taking note of all the things she never had the time for before. She ran her fingers over the side tables, touched her bed and her throne and the massive war table that took up most of the space. She gaze at Lexa's weapons, at her spare boots and even took a quick glance inside the closet, running a few of the garments hanging there through her fingers._

_Clarke couldn't think beyond tomorrow. She wanted to but couldn't allow herself. She was too tired to think extensively about it but dreaming of a life on the other side of a war was too painful. The good thing though was that Lexa was inspiring it in her. Lexa made Clarke want to think and dream about it so should they both survive this war, then maybe for the first time in perhaps even forever Clarke could begin to plan a life and actually be happy._

_She sat down on Lexa's bed and laughed at herself. So this was optimism? This was happiness, perhaps?_

_It was a dangerous thing and not even a few hours ago she and Lexa were glaring at each other across that very war table but that was relationships, right?_

_Clarke laughed again. So she was in a relationship, now? She shook her head._

_Dangerous things indeed so she cleared her throat, got to her feet and told herself to wait. The war had to be over. The Ice Nation sorted out, her mother... well God knew but Clarke just couldn't get carried away. Lexa would be back soon and they could get lost in each other like it might be their last night to live._

_Clarke rolled her eyes that time and shut her mind off, going back to Lexa's closet to find something a little more comfortable to wear._

_**_

_"Are you certain, Heda?" Dax wasn't sure and although it meant questioning his leader, he did it anyway. "She will resist."_

_Lexa turned away from her general a little and set her jaw, her hands coming together firmly in front of her. "My mind is made up," she said quietly and rather dangerously._

_Dax swallowed and because Lexa wasn't looking he let his shoulders droop. He nodded, convincing himself it was the right thing to do._

_"It is the only option," Lexa then said, her voice however not as confident as before._

_"Yes, Heda," Dax replied after a moment, understanding completely. He turned and managed a few strides away before Lexa called him back._

_"Dax."_

_He spun quickly and raised his brow in question._

_Lexa was now facing him, her expression oddly unguarded. A few seconds passed before she lifted her chin and breathed in sharply. "Do not fail me in this."_

_Dax mirrored her posture and puffed his chest out, a little. "I will not, Heda," he responded confidently, holding her gaze until she nodded her head just once, dismissing him._

_As he moved away and into the darkness Lexa watched after him for a long few minutes, adding up various things in her mind. She knew she was supposing too much, second guessing things that she shouldn't so with one long, final exhale she made herself take her own advise. Events in battle were liable to change and there was nothing more they could do. Everything was planned and she needed rest. Clarke needed rest and so Lexa turned quickly, walking purposefully back to her tent._

_**_

_When Lexa entered she only got a few steps inside before she stopped, her breath catching in her throat when she saw Clarke just beyond the drape that separated the two areas of the tent, her coat and shirt now off and instead she was wearing one of Lexa's loose, long over-shirts. Clarke then stopped at the bed and pulled the covers back a little before she turned and sat on it, bending over to remove her boots._

_It was then she noticed Lexa so she smiled by way of a greeting. "Hey," she said in a low voice, "all orders delivered?"_

_Lexa couldn't help but blink a few times, struck by such a sense of domesticity she so wasn't expecting that words almost vanished from her. She cleared her throat quietly before she turned away. "Yes," she answered as she gazed at the floor, walking over to the side table where she would usually keep her wrist guards._

_Clarke frowned as she shrugged off her boots. "Are you okay?"_

_Lexa's light armour came off followed by her coat. "Yes," she said again, feeling both bad and good at the same time. Lexa found it quite disconcerting so she shook herself out of it, turning to look at Clarke but she couldn't hold her gaze for long. "I am just anxious for the battle."_

_Clarke's brow shot up at that. Lexa was hardly the anxious type, or at least someone who would show and admit it. She decided it was best to try and lighten the mood as they had been at odds for a while and the last thing they needed was to talk about the coming war. Clarke bit at the inside of her cheek. "The mighty Commander," she began in a teasing tone with a heavy smirk set on her face, "of twelve clans, feeling anxious?"_

_Lexa raised her eyes from the ground and met Clarke's mischievous eyes._

_Clarke then pulled her bottom lip through her teeth. "Surely not."_

_Lexa couldn't help but let the smile show on her lips. She did what she was practised at and sealed her concerns away, wanting nothing more than to forget everything for the rest of the night. Everything aside from Clarke, of course. She liberated her top from her pants as she made her way over to the bed, letting it hang loosely over her hips as she sat next to Clarke. "It does happen," she informed her, and Clarke 'hmmm'd' in response. "Sometimes," she finished as she too took off her boots, kicking them away and to one side. She glanced at Clarke and her smile grew wider. "Not often," she added quickly, and it made Clarke chuckle a little._

_"Of course," Clarke replied, glad that Lexa was now bantering with her. She stared at her for a moment, the Commander, sitting there casually with her, smiling and partially undressed. It was almost like some kind of tentative third or fourth date and now they were back at Lexa's, wondering about who would make the first move. Clarke nudged Lexa's shoulder with her own. "Did I ever make you anxious?" she asked a little seductively._

_Lexa glanced sideways at Clarke and immediately thought she was still wearing far too many clothes. "Always," she responded as a smirk captured her lips. It was perhaps an exaggeration but Clarke had always made her feel something, even on the day they first met._

_Clarke chuckled again. "I find that hard to believe." This time she kept her shoulder and upper arm in contact with Lexa's._

_Lexa tilted her head to the side and then back again. "Perhaps not.. anxious," she admitted and then pretended to think about it._

_Clarke clicked her tongue. "See?"_

_Lexa turned on the bed so her body was open to Clarke's and Clarke did the same in response. Lexa bit on her bottom lip and cast her eyes to the roof of the tent. "Breathless perhaps," she smirked, her eyes then coming down to meet Clarke's._

_The grin nearly fell off Clarke's face as she laughed._

_"Dizzy," Lexa continued, very happy that she was making Clarke happy in that moment. She inched closer to her on the bed._

_Clarke's head was tipped back a little and when her eyes found out green her hands automatically fell to Lexa's thighs. "Smooth, Commander," she said, her voice now deep and scratchy. Lexa was only inches away and it was easy for Clarke's eyes to drop to her lips. "Very smooth," she murmured before she closed the remaining distance._

_Clarke's lips breathed life into her. They lit her up, sent a soaring heat cascading through her and it made her pause for a second, made her picture the worst possible thing that could happen over the next few days. She blinked and swallowed hard, her eyes dropping to the smallest of gaps between them._

_"What's wrong?" Clarke whispered, her hand squeezing at Lexa's upper arm._

_Lexa shook her head. Made herself hard as she met Clarke's gentle and loving gaze, pushing the snapshot of Costia's head at her bedside out of her mind as quickly as she possibly could. It wouldn't happen again, Lexa told herself, there wasn't a chance and she forced herself to smile at her new love, at her adoring expression and questioning eyes._

_"Nothing," Lexa whispered, the smile slowly spreading across her face. "I just..." she started before she trailed off again, feeling suddenly altogether too vulnerable._

_Clarke squeezed her arm again. "What?"_

_Lexa pushed out a long breath before she reached up and brushed a few of Clarke's loose bangs behind her ear. "You are beautiful," she whispered, and that's about all she could manage._

_Clarke weighed it up for a moment, she knew there was something more, a lot more but again she wasn't about to push so instead she just grinned. "Charmer," she murmured, as she leaned her forehead against Lexa's. They stayed like that for a peaceful few moments before Clarke spoke again. "Should we sleep?" she asked, not minding in the least if they just held each other that night._

_Lexa considered it for a moment before she smirked widely and then the sorrow was gone from her eyes. "Afterwards," she mumbled, her nose nudging gently against Clarke's just before their lips met again._

_This time it was pure heat. It was as if sparks were flying off them as they moved together, Lexa's hands wrapping around Clarke's back and Clarke's moving over Lexa's shoulders and into her hair._

_Clarke tugged on her braids so she would come closer and Lexa pulled Clarke's body against her so hard in any other circumstance it might hurt, but this wasn't any other circumstance. This was an explosion of want and need as well as a display of everything they meant to each other without having to vocalise it. Tomorrow there would be war therefore tonight could be the last time they would ever be like this so they weren't about to waste a second of it._

_Lexa pushed Clarke down onto the bed and quickly removing her pants and underwear so the only thing she was left with was Lexa's oversized shirt. Lexa admired it for a moment as it clung to Clarke's curves before she rid herself of her own top and then descended upon Clarke's body, both touching and kissing every inch of pale skin she could get too._

_Clarke arched her back and threw her head back, her weight resting back on her elbows as she let Lexa explore her. She felt needy and desperate but she didn't care at all. The way Lexa was touching her proved she was every bit as desperate so Clarke let herself moan and squirm beneath Lexa's roaming hands, lips and tongue and let herself feel every single sensation that rippled through her. She felt hot everywhere and as Lexa moved up her body, pushing her top up as she went it only took a few minutes before Clarke had enough of the barrier and removed the shirt herself._

_Lexa was fixated on Clarke's breasts as soon as they were revealed. She paused for a moment and licked her lips, her eyes dilating almost to black as she felt the inexplicable heat in her gut grow and expand out in all directions. Lexa was breathless and her chest was heaving. She wanted Clarke all at once, wanted her skin sweating and her lips screaming as she worshipped her with her tongue. Lexa's mind was swimming with it, with everything she wanted to do and it was just making her wetter by the second._

_All of a sudden Lexa was kissing and sucking at Clarke's nipples, her hands caressing her sides and hips and then her lips were at Clarke's neck, sucking even harder at the skin there and leaving blotchy red marks in their wake._

_"Lexa, please," Clarke managed to breath out, her mind finding it more than difficult to form words. She reached up and grabbed at either side of Lexa's face. "I need you," she panted, and that was all Lexa needed._

_She nodded fervently and kissed her passionately, her tongue sweeping inside Clarke's mouth and she couldn't help the moan that rumbled through her throat._

_All of a sudden Lexa was gone and Clarke would've been confused if she didn't in the next moment feel Lexa's lips against her navel. Clarke gasped at the knowledge of what was to come and her mind was already recalling what Lexa's tongue felt like inside of her. It was driving her insane and she was just about to plead when she felt it, her groan ripping out and filling the expanse of the tent as Lexa's tongue swept through her wetness, lapped at her clit a few times before it was inside massaging her walls._

_Clarke's mind was jelly and she had no idea what she was saying other than "yes," "there," and, "harder," deftly on repeat as her hands dug into Lexa's braids to keep her exactly where she wanted her._

_Lexa loved how Clarke tasted. She couldn't get enough and now was absolutely no exception. She wanted to stay there all night, buried deep between Clarke's legs and have her scream out her name as she was until the sun came up and the world would begin again._

_"Lex," Clarke breathed and she tugged on her hair, trying her best to get her attention. Her heart was thudding, her mind was numb and by the way her body was contracting she knew it wouldn't be long before she came, long and hard and she wanted to bury her face in Lexa's neck as she did. She pulled on Lexa's hair again. "Lex, please..."_

_Lexa stopped immediately, looking up at Clarke who had the most amazing expression of pleasure on her face that all she wanted to do was go back to what she was doing._

_"Here," Clarke urged her. "Come here."_

_Lexa swallowed and placed a kiss just below her belly button, not being able to resist slowly sliding her tongue along Clarke's clit just twice before she complied and kissed her way back up her body. If Clarke's moan was anything to go by she didn't at all mind._

_"I want you here," Clarke murmured when Lexa started kissing along her jaw, her arms wrapping loosely and rather bonelessly around her shoulders. "But take these off," she finished with a grin, reaching down with one hand and tugging at Lexa's pants._

_Lexa smiled and jumped up, ridding herself of the offending material and Clarke enjoyed the view of her naked Lexa as she sauntered on all fours over her for a moment or so._

_"Is this better?" Lexa asked as she reached down and kissed the skin below Clarke's ear, tugging on her earlobe with her teeth._

_The sensation shot down Clarke's side and made her jerk a little in response. "Mmmm," Clarke hummed before her hands ran over Lexa's shoulders again and pulled her flush against her body. "Much," she whispered, and then Lexa kissed her passionately again, the fire back in an instant and when Lexa's bare thigh pressed between Clarke's legs she thought she might explode._

_Clarke moaned into the darkness and Lexa couldn't help but do the same but into the heat of Clarke's neck. She was so exceptionally wet herself and the feeling of her wetness coating Clarke's thigh was making her heart lurch in her chest, the softness of Clarke's skin pressing against her clit making her whole body judder and shake. She was embarrassingly close but she didn't care, all she was bothered about was giving Clarke the night of her life._

_"Fuck yes," Clarke groaned. "Harder," she breathed hotly into Lexa's ear. "More."_

_Lexa obeyed and moved her hand down between their bodies, gliding over her skin that was now moist and slick. She paused at Clarke's clit and teased it a little, Clarke heaving out a muffled grunt as she bit hard on her bottom lip._

_"Fuck Lexa," she moaned, digging her fingers into Lexa's back. "Get inside me."_

_Honestly Lexa nearly came then but she managed to hold it together, pushing herself away a little from Clarke's thigh otherwise she definitely wouldn't be able to last. Lexa swallowed dryly as she sucked at the column of Clarke's neck, peppering her skin with kisses and licks before she would lather it with attention again but then she pushed two fingers deeply into Clarke's warmth and Clarke was so overwrought her moan came out as a strangled gasp._

_Lexa was on the edge. Clarke felt so good and warm and soft that her brain couldn't decipher it. Lexa was hot and she was gasping and she had never littered someone's skin with as many trigedasleng profanities as she was right then. Suddenly Lexa's breathing became laboured and she couldn't hold herself up anymore, her clit once more flush against Clarke's thigh and Clarke was adamant in holding her body rigidly against her own. Lexa couldn't really move but in all honestly she didn't want to._

_"Jok," Lexa choked out, so close to coming as she was that she started repeating it over and over and as Clarke buried her face into her shoulder, Lexa knew she was close to it too. Her body was going rigid as her limbs started shaking._

_"Yes, Lex, yes!" Clarke exclaimed, Lexa's fingers pumping within her so quickly and hitting that spot as she curled them forwards each time was pushing her body to its limit. She was about to come so she pushed her fingertips into Lexa's skin harder and wrapped her free leg around her hip tighter and hung on for dear life as her body froze, the sensations running through her like wildfire and her nerve endings erupting and sparking like they might never stop._

_Lexa felt it and as Clarke screamed her name into her neck she thrust her thigh upwards, rubbing Lexa's clit to the side and then the Commander fell apart too. Her body shaking above Clarke's as they both breathed and gasped and collapsed into each other's embrace._

_**_

_Minutes passed, God knows how many but Lexa felt limp but deliciously sated and there was no way she wanted to move. Clarke was snuggled into her, her breathing now returned to normal and she just caressed Lexa's back soothingly, both of them in the same position as when they came._

_Eventually though Lexa had to move, if they fell asleep like that she feared she might crush Clarke and so she made a move to roll off and to her side. Clarke though had other ideas. She grumbled unhappily and just held on tighter._

_It made Lexa laugh and for the first time in a good long while she lifted her head from the crook of Clarke's neck. "Clarke," she murmured softly. "We cannot sleep like this."_

_"Why?" Clarke pouted._

_Lexa kissed her nose. "Because I am heavy."_

_Clarke grinned then, not able to stop how she was feeling from showing on her face. "You're not so bad."_

_"Hmm," Lexa considered. "I would prefer not to take the risk."_

_Clarke just sighed and then loosened her grip, allowing Lexa to roll to her side and cuddle up to Clarke's shoulder. Clarke grinned even wider and pulled Lexa's arm around her. "That was fantastic," she exhaled happily, running her fingertips along Lexa's forearm._

_"Mochof," Lexa responded, prompting Clarke to nudge her quite heavily._

_Lexa laughed a little. "You were also fantastic," she sighed, leaning up to land a kiss on Clarke's cheek. Before she could move back though Clarke turned her head and kissed her properly. Slowly and sensually and languidly._

_When they parted they both grinned warmly and then Lexa slowly settled back in at Clarke's shoulder._

_It was difficult not to think about the possibilities of tomorrow that would ruin the moment they were both lost in but try as she might, Lexa couldn't quite shake it. She pushed out a breath and felt Clarke snuggle in closer to her._

_"It'll be okay, won't it?" Clarke asked quietly, but Lexa could tell she was pretty much already half asleep._

_Lexa considered it for a moment and pressed her lips gently against Clarke's shoulder. "Of course," she murmured but she was right. Clarke was definitely already asleep._

_**_

 

Lexa was slowly trailing her fingers across Clarke's arm, still busy contemplating but at least her brain was a little sleepy. She was certain she was about to fall asleep when suddenly a horn sounded and Lexa was quickly very awake. She shot up to a sitting position in bed, her eyes now wide and alert.

 

After a moment Clarke sat up too, her hair totally mused and her eyes still sleepy. "What was that?" she asked as she rubbed her knuckles against her eyes.

 

"The horn," Lexa answered a little stiffly, and then she turned to Clarke. "Azgeda approaches."

 

Clarke was suddenly very awake too and she swallowed harshly. "This is it, then," she said quietly, and all Lexa could do was nod.

 

The Commander sucked in a deep breath and then leaned forwards, kissing Clarke chastely and firmly before she pulled back, running her thumb a few times over Clarke's cheekbone where her palm was resting against the side of her jaw reassuringly. "We must move," she said softly as she nodded and then got out of bed, leaving Clarke there to watch her for a second or two before she got up and prepared for battle too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
>  Translations.  
>  **
> 
>  
> 
> "Skaikru."  
>  _"Sky People."_
> 
> "Azgeda."  
>  _"Ice Nation."_
> 
> "Hod op!"  
>  _"Stop!"_
> 
> "Yu ste pis, chil yu au."  
>  _"You are too abrasive. Settle yourself."_
> 
> "Yu gaf nautal in, den nautal op."  
>  _"You wish to learn, so learn."_  
>  (Note: I've made 'nautal' up. As in, 'know it all' for 'learn').
> 
> "Chil yu daun."  
>  _"Stand down."_
> 
> "Taim Balius yu reshop."  
>  _"Soon Balius you will rest well."_
> 
> "Mochof, Marcus."  
>  _"Thank you, Marcus."_
> 
> "Luna kom Floukru. Azizi kom Ingranrona and Kaia kom Trishana."  
>  _Luna of the Boat People. Azizi of the Plains Riders and Kaia of the Glowing Forest."_
> 
> "Jus drein, jus daun."  
>  _"Blood must have blood."_
> 
> "Moba, Heda."  
>  _"My apologies, Commander."_
> 
> "Pro, Heda."  
>  _"You're welcome, Commander."_
> 
> "Sha, Heda."  
>  _"Yes, Commander."_
> 
> "Jok."  
>  _"Fuck."_


	17. sentin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle commences but Lexa quickly realises something is afoot. Zeek carries out his orders but is hit with an unwelcome complication leading to the reemergence of the very savage and reckless side of Heda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Hope everyone is well :) These chapters are coming thick and fast now and by the time I get to chapter 20 I intend on that being the first one I post across all three platforms simultaneously. If you didn't already know you can also find this fic on [fanfic.net](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11319005/1/Beneath-the-Betrayal) and [wattpad](https://www.wattpad.com/user/talentedgemx) \- nice little cover on wattpad as well ;)
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy this and let me know what you think :) Fine me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/talented_gemx) or [tumblr](http://talentedgemx.tumblr.com).

Lexa strode purposefully from the tent, her jaw set and war paint thick and dark around her eyes. Clarke had helped her with it, but there was no time to think about that now. The guards posted either side of the tents entrance immediately flanked her and Dax was at her side in moments. Clarke followed a few steps behind.

 

"The enemy approaches from the north as expected," Dax reported, easily falling into step with his Commander. "We will intercept them as planned but we must leave now."

 

Lexa raised her chin. "The army is ready?"

 

"Yes, Heda. Two groups await your orders."

 

Lexa pulled in a breath. "Good."

 

"What about my people?" Clarke asked, striding to Lexa's other side.

 

It made Lexa stop and when she looked at Clarke her command neutrality was firmly in place, however she couldn't quite find the words to respond.

 

"Skaikru await your instructions, Wanheda," Dax intervened.

 

Clarke nodded. "They're ready to go?" She was eager to show Lexa just how much support Skaikru could offer, not just with technology and medicine but in battle as well.

 

Lexa's gaze trailed over Clarke's face, tracing every line and curve as if she was committing it to memory and when she spoke her voice was ten times softer than when she interacted with Dax. "Marcus Kane is with them at the east ridge, waiting for you to join them." Lexa paused when Clarke looked at her and it was a moment before she could stop remembering what those eyes did to her the night before. "Zeek will accompany you," she finished, her tone  a little firmer.

 

"Lexa-"

 

Lexa nodded at Dax dismissing him, and so he headed for their awaiting army. Lexa then stepped a little bit closer to Clarke. "Zeek will accompany you," she repeated quietly, only a foot between them. "It is not too late for you to stay behind."

 

Clarke sighed under her breath. "You're not fighting this alone, Lexa."

 

"Clarke-"

 

She cut her eyes to Lexa and pinned her with a firm glare. "I'm going."

 

Lexa's jaw rippled beneath her skin, her fingers clenching at the air in her palms. She searched Clarke's face but she knew there was no dissuading her and so she swallowed nervously, and for the first time in a long time she felt genuine fear. "Very well," she responded in a whisper before her gaze dropped to the space between them.

 

Clarke reached out and squeezed Lexa's forearm, not even caring who might see. "Be careful," she whispered back, trying to peer beneath the Commander's downturned expression.

 

Lexa nodded minutely and then met Clarke's gaze. "You as well," she replied before she sucked in a breath and lifted her posture, looking at Clarke with a more steely resolve. "I will see you when I return."

 

Clarke nodded, pulling her lips into a small smile and as Lexa went to pull away, it felt all of a sudden like she was walking away from something she could lose. Lexa's step faltered for a moment as she pulled her arm back, making Clarke's hand slip down her arm and land within her own. It only lasted a second but she gripped onto Clarke's fingers before she turned and strode away.

 

Clarke pulled in a breath and turned around herself, nodding at Zeek who was stood a good metre or so away and then she followed him in the opposite direction.

 

**

 

Clarke was having trouble keeping up. Zeek seemed intent on moving at a blistering pace without her having to tell him to do so. She needed to get to her people as soon as possible as Lexa and Dax would be well on their way to their positions by now and she didn't want Skaikru shirking their responsibilities in this. She needed her people to play their part. She needed to play her part.

 

Dax leapt down a steep ledge they came to, pausing on the lower ground as he swept his eyes from side to side scanning the path ahead. After a moment he stood up straight and turned, holding his hand out to Clarke who was now standing at the edge of the ledge above him. He raised his eyebrows and then Clarke rolled her eyes, jumping down and grasping onto his hand as she went.

 

She felt the impact in her knees but didn't voice it. Instead she just winced and grunted a little, allowing Zeek to help her to straighten up.

 

"Thanks," she murmured under her breath but all Zeek did was nod before he dropped her hand and continued walking. It didn't take long for Clarke to catch up with his stride, though, regardless of how much her knees protested. "You're quiet, Zeek," she offered, trying to slice through the uneasy atmosphere. "You're making me nervous."

 

Zeek licked his lips but didn't look down at her. He just clenched his jaw and powered on, no matter how much Clarke stared at him.

 

Clarke exhaled sharply, deciding to put his mood down to the attack he was missing out on having to accompany her to her people. "I'm sorry you got my bodyguard detail, Zeek," she acquiesced, her voice low and a little exasperated. She had enough to worry about right then and Zeek's mood wasn't particularly high on her list. "We'll be there soon, and then you can kill as many Azgeda warriors as you can find."

 

All of a sudden Zeek's pace slowed and he let out a long, heavy sigh as his eyes fell to the ground before flicking back up to the horizon once more. It made Clarke stop and she turned to face him, her eyebrows quirking up in question.

 

Zeek just shook his head and started walking again however this time his pace was considerably slower. "Do you believe that when it is for a person's own benefit, the deed is just?" He glanced down at her then, his eyes and expression sincere.

 

Clarke felt a little blindsided, if she was being truthful. "Ermm," she stumbled as confusion flashed over her face. "That's a little deep, Zeek," she responded as she reached behind her and scratched at the back of her neck. "Is now really the time for a philosophical debate?"

 

Zeek was still looking at her. "Then you do not think so."

 

Clarke shrugged, knowing they couldn't be far from Marcus and her people now. "Depends on the deed." She glanced up at him. "Depends on the person."

 

After a moment Zeek nodded his head and then looked again at the ground, stopping as they entered a clearing.

 

Clarke's forehead crinkled as she had never seen him like this before. "Are you okay?" she asked as she too stopped and turned sideways to face him, her head then turning back as her eyes scanned the clearing. She couldn't see anyone. "Why have we stopped?"

 

"We are here," he responded, his voice low and quiet.

 

Clarke became even more confused. "Where are my people?"

 

Zeek turned fully to her then, his eyes soft and full of conflicting emotion. He had to clench his jaw to stop his lips from betraying him. From betraying his orders but then he supposed she would figure it out soon enough.

 

It prompted Clarke to take a step back. "Zeek?"

 

Zeek swallowed. "Biyo moba, Wanheda."

 

Clarke's immediate reaction was to question him, demand answers for what was happening as she felt a mix of fear, anger and betrayal shoot along her spine but before she could everything went black. The last image in her head one of Zeek as she fell to the ground.

 

**

 

Lexa took stock of the battlefield; fallen bodies and bloodstained grass everywhere. Her army was winning, none of the fallen where her warriors and they were overcoming the enemy with every push forward. Azgeda were dropping like flies and ordinarily Lexa would be pleased, if only it wasn't so easy.

 

Another warrior came at her and she easily side-stepped him, parrying all of his strikes and after only a few moments he was face down on the ground along with the rest of the enemy she had laid waste to.

 

Lexa was confused and couldn't for the life of her work out what was happening. These Azgeda warriors weren't of the calibre of a lead group, not by a long shot, even by the mediocre standards of Nia's warriors. It was almost as if Nia didn't expect them to win, or even to survive.

 

Lexa growled in frustration as she spun around, ploughing into the thick of the fighting and taking down another two warriors, one after the other as she wielded her sword expertly. She was angry, though, and only getting angrier by the second so she quickly found some cover and grabbed the radio from her hip, switching the device to the correct channel as she had been shown earlier. She was mildly reluctant to use it but she needed to speak with her general.

 

"Dax," she said into the device, sure to keep one eye on her warriors as they continued to take down the enemy. "Dax respond."

 

It was only a moment before the radio crackled into action.

 

"Heda," Dax replied, his voice a little breathless. Clearly in the middle of a confrontation himself. "I am here."

 

Lexa raised an eyebrow at the sound of her general's voice coming from the radio and if she wasn't so preoccupied with what the hell was going on she would've been impressed. These devices would prove very useful in future. "Tell me of your battle. Is it Azgeda?"

 

"Yes, Heda. About eighty warriors." There was a pause though as if he was struggling with something. "But it is strange,"  was the only way he could put it in the end.

 

All of a sudden the enemy warriors seemed to thin out even further and it caused Lexa to come out from her cover, her brow furrowing even more in confusion. "Explain," she ordered into the radio, watching as her own warriors chased the remaining Azgeda into the tree line.

 

"They are weak," Dax responded. "Not like any warriors I would deem worthy of combat. Worthy of a place in your army."

 

Lexa sighed, dropping the radio to her side in exasperation. This was pointless, and there was nothing Lexa hated more than wasted time and wasted bloodshed.

 

"Heda!" one of her warriors shouted. "The enemy has fallen!"

 

Lexa just clenched her jaw in frustration, taking a few steps forward into the battlefield as she surveyed her latest victory.

 

"Heda," came Dax's voice once more. "Azgeda are retreating."

 

She glanced down at the radio before she brought it back up to the side of her face. "Return to Camp Jaha," she ordered into it. "We will speak with the others and regroup."

 

"What of Azgeda?" Dax asked. "Prisoners may be of use."

 

"No," Lexa responded flatly. "These warriors are unimportant to Nia. They were abandoned with no reinforcements. They will know nothing."

 

"Yes, Heda."

 

Lexa hooked the radio back on her belt, sheathed her sword and cast a final look across the bloodstained field in front of her. Some of her warriors were injured but none had fallen meaning every slumped body on the ground was Azgeda, but it brought Lexa no joy whatsoever. Fallen Azgeda warriors used to mean she had taken one step closer to defeating Nia but this time, this battle meant absolutely nothing.

 

"Return to Camp Jaha!" Lexa yelled across the field, her voice teetering around the edges of rage. She needed to get back and figure out what had gone wrong as quickly as she possibly could.

 

**

 

When Lexa returned to camp Dax was already there, standing outside the gates to Camp Jaha speaking with Abby and a number of Skaikru guards. She dismounted from Balius and handed him to a member of Trikru who scurried over to her and quickly headed toward Dax who immediately came to meet her half way.

 

"Heda," he greeted.

 

To say Lexa was still very annoyed would be a massive understatement. "Have you spoken with Indra?" she all but snapped.

 

"Yes. There were no attacks."

 

Lexa just glared at him.

 

Dax shook his head. "She encountered not even one Azgeda warrior."

 

Abby joined them, her radio in hand. "Marcus said the same thing. He's on his way back now."

 

Lexa pulled her eyes away but wasn't able to hide her frustration. She had no idea what Nia was up to and the facade in the woods for both her and Dax made absolutely no sense. Why would Nia sacrifice that many warriors, and for what purpose? She exhaled an angry breath and then shot her attention back to Dax. "What of Azizi and Kaia?"

 

"Kaia reports the same," Raven responded for him, quickly at Abby's side. "Azizi's out of range."

 

Lexa lifted her gaze to the sky, wondering how it was possible for all of her scouts and informants to be wrong. They couldn't be, she told herself. Nia was here, that much she knew for a fact so she just had to wait for her to show her hand. But Lexa hated waiting, she hated not knowing and even more so she hated being played for a fool.

 

Abby sighed loudly in the lull of silence. "Commander, what's going on? You and Clarke seemed certain the Ice Queen was mounting an attack."

 

"She is," Lexa bit back, her tone deep and even as the anger started to burn in her chest. Her mind immediately defaulted to Clarke however, and she swallowed as she thought about how she was possibly going to explain her actions this time. At least she was safe with Zeek though, she pondered, and that was all that mattered.

 

Abby gestured in the space at her sides and the action pulled Lexa's thoughts back to the matter at hand. "Then where is it?"

 

Lexa's jaw clenched and Dax was quick to mediate. "Azgeda did attack, both our parties in the woods," he informed firmly, his eyes casting over Lexa's blood stained face and armour, as if that wasn't evidence enough. He knew he looked in a similar state and then he caught Raven's eye. "There will be something else," he promised. "You can be certain of that."

 

"Heda!"

 

The whole group turned toward the voice and from the distant tree line two Trikru warriors appeared with another slumped between them.

 

Abby raised her hand to shield her eyes from the afternoon sun and she had to narrow her eyes to focus. "Who's that?"

 

Lexa blinked a few times and even though she couldn't see who the figures were exactly, something in her chest told her that this wouldn't be good. She swallowed with trepidation as her eyes went wide and then she abruptly ran toward the approaching men, Dax quickly on her heels and Abby following when it became apparent the person in the middle was injured.

 

When Lexa realised who the injured party was she slowed considerably but Dax continued on, dropping to his knees when the two warriors lowered Zeek to the ground, his face all kinds of black and blue and his limbs practically lifeless.

 

"Chit don kom au?" Dax demanded, his expression one of shock as his hands went to either side of Zeek's face to hold his head up a little.

 

Lexa came to a stop a foot or so from them, her heart now somewhere on the floor as her jaw went slack and her eyes brimmed with emotion.

 

"Let me see him," Abby ordered, dropping down to the ground on the opposite side of Dax. She felt for Zeek's pulse as one of the warriors started to explain.

 

"Oso don fig em au dise soujon kom Tondisi." He looked away from Dax and then at Lexa. "Indra na kom op, Heda."

 

Lexa however, couldn't take her eyes away from Zeek.

 

"He's alive," Abby reported, a sigh of relief from everyone who had now crowded around the scene, Raven included. "We need to get him on the Ark so I can check him properly."

 

"Zeek," Lexa's voice commanded, plunging everyone else into silence. "Ron ai ridiyo op." She took a step forward and glared down at him. "Weron Klark?" Her heart was pounding now and she was surprised no one else could hear it.

 

"Clarke?" Raven echoed, confusion suddenly written all over her face.

 

As if her meeting with Lexa suddenly replayed itself in her mind Abby slowly angled her head up at the Commander and the realisation hit her as it had done Lexa just moments ago.

 

"Clarke went with Marcus, right?" Raven continued, wondering why no one else was looking as confused as her. There was only a moment of silence but it was far too much for Raven. "Right?!" she repeated.

 

"Zeek!" Lexa shouted and as if on cue, Zeek began to stir.

 

Dax just lowered his head and sighed, knowing that whatever Zeek was about to say would not end well at all.

 

Abby's attention returned to Zeek and she supported his head as best she could as Dax got up to a standing position at Lexa's side.

 

"Heda," Zeek croaked, his one eye cracking open slightly as the other one was swollen shut. "Wigod ai. Emo don tona."

 

Lexa physically felt her body begin to shake and she tasted something unpleasant at the back of her throat. She had to blink a few times to reign in what she was feeling but as she knew what was coming, her chest was automatically filled with rage and the blood beneath her skin turned to fire. "Chon, Zeek?" she managed to push out although she already knew the answer and the weight of her tone sent a shiver through even Raven's spine.

 

"Clarke's gone?" Raven swallowed uneasily, a sense of panic coming over her as she looked between Lexa and Abby.

 

Zeek struggled to move.

 

"Chon?!" The Commander repeated.

 

"Azgeda. Emo don set raun." His eye opened a little wider and it was filled with tears although  somehow he managed not to let them fall. He had failed at his task of protecting Clarke and for him there was no greater crime. "Moba," he stuttered as he swallowed thickly, wanting nothing more than to get to his feet and avenge this attack as much as he knew Lexa did, but he had absolutely no energy left. He had managed to strike down a good number of them before he was overpowered but they clearly intended to send Lexa a message in the shape of his bruised body as well as abducting Clarke. The guilt he felt was undeniable. "Biyo moba."

 

"Speak so I can understand you!" Abby all but screamed, wanting to know exactly what was being said.

 

Lexa though couldn't take anymore. She had to move and so she pinned one of the warriors who carried Zeek in her gaze. "In which direction did they go?"

 

"Heda-" Dax tried to interrupt.

 

"Tell me!" she ordered fiercely, her hands clenched in fists at her sides and her body taught and rigid.

 

"From their tracks it seemed north, Heda. From the eastern clearing," the warrior responded, but before Lexa could leave Abby stood up and grabbed onto her arm.

 

Lexa was about to force Abby away but when she looked at her, all she could find was sorrow and pain in her eyes. The force of it made Lexa swallow, hard, and it also made her heart churn in her chest. In an instant she remembered what she had told Abby in their meeting and for a moment, the unshielded emotion was present in her eyes, too.

 

"Bring her back," Abby whispered, and it was all Lexa could do not to crumble there and then.

 

"I will," Lexa responded after a moment, and just like that the vulnerability was replaced with utter bloodlust.

 

Lexa shrugged from Abby's grip and ran for Balius, not taking a single look back or issuing even one command to her warriors. All she could think about was getting to Clarke and killing whoever took her in the most brutal way possible. She had promised herself this would not happen again, and there was no way she was about to let it.

 

Dax glanced at the two warriors still looking over Zeek and ordered them to stay with him, confident that Abby would take care of him and so he was quick to follow his Commander, racing for his own horse at break neck speed. Lexa of course had already gone, steaming toward the eastern clearing so Dax jumped atop his horse, barking orders at four warriors to follow him no matter the cost.

 

Raven watched them all disappear like lunatics and she'd be damned if she would be the only one who had no idea what was happening. She took the few steps over to Abby. "What the hell's going on?" she asked sternly. "What about Clarke?"

 

Abby closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath, opening them to find Zeek still battered and bruised on the ground and the two warriors hovering over him like statues. "Get him to the Ark," she ordered them, "now!"

 

They hurried to pick him up and Zeek grunted a little feebly at the abrupt movement.

 

"Abby!" Raven protested, getting more pissed off by the second.

 

Abby worked to keep the tears from falling. She couldn't think about what might happen if Lexa wasn't successful. What would happen and so she forced her mind from it and followed after the warriors and Zeek. "C'mon," she sighed as she grabbed onto Raven's elbow. "I'll tell you inside."

 

**

 

_The knife hit the rabbit cleanly, and was an extremely impressive hit from more than twenty yards away. Lexa stepped out from the tree line and into the field ahead of her, squinting her eyes at her target that was now practically hidden by the grass that surrounded it. She smiled smugly and then turned her head to her mentor, awaiting the praise she was expecting for the good, accurate throw._

_Anya moved a few steps ahead of Lexa, an eyebrow quirking as it was indeed a very good throw. The animal had barely moved into the field before her protégé had launched her knife at it and it made Anya raise her chin in contemplation. "Did you make the kill because it was the best time to do so," she asked as she drew her attention back to Lexa, "or because it was easy?"_

_Lexa's shoulders deflated a little, her chest puffing out a half formed breath. Anya had told her to wait under cover and make a kill wisely and affectively. Is that what she had not done? "The target is dead, Anya. Was that not the point of the lesson?"_

_Anya circled around her second slowly, observing Lexa's posture and the way she was clenching her jaw. Anya could tell her charge was annoyed with herself for failing whatever the true lesson was and it made Anya smirk, a little. Always so eager to get everything right first time, and always so frustrated when she didn't.  She knew Lexa would make an excellent Heda, and she knew Lexa would become Heda. There was absolutely no doubt about it._

_"The purpose of the lesson, little Heda," Anya began as she rounded on Lexa and then stood in front of her, pinning her with her piercing, steady gaze, "was patience."_

_Lexa sighed and angled her head away from her first, slightly. Her chin still raised and proud, however._

_"You are too eager to make the kill," Anya continued, her voice loud so it was the only thing Lexa could hear. Her wrist perched atop the butt of her sword at her hip as a lazy smirk pulled at her lips. "You must learn that even when a kill is easy, that when the opportunity to strike down your enemy presents immediately, that does not mean you should take it."_

_Lexa looked up from beneath her brow at her mentor. "Why give the enemy opportunity to regroup and gain the advantage?" She asked as she stood a little straighter. "Why is the element of surprise wrong?"_

_Anya shrugged. "It is not."_

_Lexa's brow immediately furrowed and Anya knew she was aggravating her student. She cast her eyes up to the sky for a moment to reign in her amusement. It was an important lesson Lexa needed to learn as it was true she didn't sit back and think enough, especially when she was frustrated over something else. Like an argument with a pretty girl as she'd had before they started the lesson. Lexa's emotions were something she also needed to learn to control better, but Anya knew that would come in time._

_"What you must learn is when the right time is to wait, and when the right time is to strike."_

_Lexa looked at her fallen prey and then gestured toward it. "That was the right time to strike."_

_"You are certain?"_

_Lexa's chin jutted out further. "Yes."_

_"And you struck at the first target you saw because you were willing to get the most out of our training session, or because Costia is upset with you and you wanted to return home quickly?"_

_Lexa sucked in a perturbed breath and rolled her eyes in true middle-teen fashion, turning away from Anya so she wouldn't have to meet her knowing gaze._

_When Lexa didn't respond Anya took a step closer and leaned forwards, a little. "Well?" When no response came Anya tilted her head, both amused and annoyed with her second at the same time. "Lexa?" she demanded._

_Lexa sighed again and her brow became heavy. She felt every inch the fifteen year old and not the brave, fearless apprentice she should be, paying attention and learning from her first as she was meant to be doing. It made her feel even more frustrated with herself. "I don't know," she muttered._

_Anya became a little stern even though her heart went out to Lexa however it wasn't the time for relationship advice. This was a lesson.  "You do not know because your mind is clouded. You must leave your emotions behind little Heda, or they will make decisions for you."_

_Lexa already knew this, she had been told over and over but it was just so hard. She knew her duty was to her people and to her position, or potential position, but when she felt this way it was a constant struggle. She was becoming angry with herself for letting an argument with Costia affect her this way, especially during a training session and so she closed her eyes and tried to calm herself. Breathe through it and clear her mind._

_After a moment or so Lexa let out another long and deflated breath. "I am not Heda yet, Anya," she responded quietly. Not feeling in that moment that she was worthy of beingHeda at all._

_Anya took several steps closer to her second and saw the internal battle going on in those big expressive, green eyes. The very fact that Lexa did have too many emotions and did battle with them so fervently was the reason why Lexa would become Heda, Anya knew. She was already the best warrior, the best leader and best strategist but she also had this, the heart to see it though. Lexa would be the one to change things; Anya knew this through and through._

_"You will be," Anya finally replied, now only a foot away from her student. Her voice was softer now, more of a friend than a mentor but the lesson was still there. "And that is why you must learn the difference."_

_Lexa nodded, her eyes blinking a few times as she took it in._

_"Even when they threaten to consume you, you must remember your place. Think about the move you should take, not the one you want to."_

_Lexa met Anya's gaze then, her head slowly lifting from where she had been admiring the ground at her feet. She wasn't certain how she would achieve what Anya was telling her, but she was determined she would try and so she clenched her jaw and continued nodding, making herself believe that she could do it._

_Eventually Anya smiled and slapped Lexa on the shoulder, turning them both before they started to head back home._

_"C'mon little Heda," Anya grinned, knowing no matter how much Lexa tried to ignore her feelings that she'd never be able to, not fully, and that's why she was going to change the world. "Tell me what you did."_

_Lexa quickly became annoyed once more. "Why must you always think it is I who has done something?"_

_"Because you always have."_

_Lexa whipped her head around to Anya quicker than she ever had. "That is not true."_

_Anya's arm wrapped around Lexa's shoulders as she pulled her into a jovial side hug. "Ah but you are the one who is late home, who returns without supper-"_

_Lexa shrugged Anya away from her. "-Those things are because of you!"_

_Anya's laugh echoed around them as Lexa stopped walking, gaping at her first like she couldn't believe the words that just came out of her mouth._

_"Ah my little Heda," Anya continued once her laughter subsided. "Do you need to learn about taking responsibility for your actions yet again?"_

_The stern lines of Lexa's face finally cracked and a small smile broke across her lips. She rolled her eyes and shook her head as she started walking again. "It is you who needs to learn that lesson, first, not me."_

_Anya just laughed again._

_Lexa chuckled as she fell back in step with Anya and then she glanced sideways at her. "When I am Heda I will ensure you are taught it repeatedly, so you will never forget."_

_Anya barked out a laugh, at that, her arm wrapping around Lexa's neck this time and pulling her closer. "I cannot wait, second," she joked as she ruffled Lexa's hair, messing up her braids as she tried to struggle free. "I cannot wait."_

 

**

 

Lexa rode like the wind. A fog descending upon her like none she had ever experienced. Everything was red and all she could feel was pain. Pain and anger and anguish and she felt like screaming, beating her fists into anything solid until they were broken and mangled and bloody, exactly like how she was feeling inside. Her chest was on fire and her throat burned with the agony of what she was certain would come.

 

She veered Balius to the right and along a dirt path, hearing the faint sound of more horses galloping up ahead.  She pressed Balius harder, shouting her commands for him to go faster knowing that she would catch whoever was ahead. There was no question of it. She would hunt them down and kill every last one of them, as gruesomely as she possibly could for the absurdity of this betrayal. Of course she knew Nia was behind it, but that wouldn't stop her from slaughtering those who had executed her orders.

 

"Heda!"

 

Countless times now she had heard Dax's voice behind her, trailing her as she knew he would when her blood boiled in her skin as she learned what happened at Camp Jaha. Loyal as he was and the few guards who had followed him but Lexa wasn't thinking of any of them. His voice was nothing more than a whisper at the back of her mind. All she cared about was Clarke and the fact she was missing, taken from her when she was distracted by false army advances.

 

It had all been a ruse that Lexa had fallen for, like a second in her first strategy lesson and her insides were crawling with the indignation. With failure, and sheer, undiluted rage.

 

Suddenly she was upon them, a few riders at the back peeling off to the right but Lexa let them go, focusing on the bulk of the group as their leader would surely be among them.

 

Dax saw them split and so he pointed after them and looked at the warriors over his shoulder. "Mafta emo op!" he ordered and his warriors obeyed, veering off to the right too and leaving Dax and Lexa alone to handle the others.

 

It all happened in slow motion for Dax; an arrow that barely missed Lexa's head as she ducked beneath it, Dax lurching his horse to the right to avoid taking the hit himself. It took him a few moments to recover and when he did, Lexa was already off Balius and she had cut down the Azgeda warrior who'd fired the arrow. All Dax could do was draw his sword and follow his Commander into the fray.

 

Lexa wasn't interested in taking prisoners. There were six of them, and having already killed one she barrelled into the two closest to her, using her fists as she caught them off guard, their bodies hitting the ground as the other three turned, drew their swords and then ran for her.

 

Lexa screamed her defiance and blood-fuelled fury as she unsheathed her sword, grabbed a throwing knife from her belt and launched it at the warrior to her right, hitting him smack in the chest as she crashed her sword down on the warrior's to her left. He was of course larger than her but his strength wasn't a match and she would have killed him easily if the third warrior hadn't swung at her. She spun out of the way and then attacked him, forcing him backwards as she matched him blow for blow.

 

The other warrior then returned and she took them both on at the same time, shouting and spitting her rage as she took out all of her frustration, hatred and down-right self pity on the two men.

 

Dax took on the other two, trying as best he could to keep an eye on Lexa as he did. He had seen her fight before, many times and she was by far the best warrior he had ever seen but this was on another level. She took their blows and strength like it was nothing. Like they were a couple of second's in a training field and she was reading their moves like a book.

 

She was wild, almost rabid, venting her fury in any way she could. She inflicted as much pain and damage as possible. Slicing at the warriors' arms and upperbody and revelling in the blood that coated her sword, even when it sprayed back at her. She didn't care. She wanted vengeance.

 

Eventually though it needed to end. Lexa dropped to her knee and viciously cut through one of the warriors thighs making him scream out in pain and topple over to the side. As the other warrior came at her she parried his strike effortlessly and kicked him in the back of his knee, sending him to the ground as well and then she reached around and slit his throat, pushing him forward so he fell face down in the dirt.

 

She clenched her teeth together as she turned back to the injured warrior, sneering at him as he dragged himself toward a nearby tree. She glanced at Dax in time to see him finish the last of the other two warriors and then she sheathed her sword, grimacing as she wiped the palm of her hand across her temple.

 

Dax regarded her, expecting her to consult with him before conducting an interrogation just as she always did but instead she pretended like he wasn't even there. She ran towards the warrior, dragging him by his collar the rest of the way to the tree before somehow hauling him up and slamming his back against the bark.

 

The warrior grunted in pain but Lexa ignored it, her stare like iron and expression like she knew no limits. Like there were no limits but if the warrior was aware of it, he didn't show any sign of it.

 

Without even blinking Lexa pulled another throwing knife from her belt and forced it through his shoulder, the metal impacting the tree instantly and the cry the warrior expelled made even Dax's blood curdle. It was sickening, but Lexa didn't even flinch.

 

"Tell me where she is," Lexa hissed, her fingers squeezing around his throat as she bore her eyes into his and it was all she could do not to squeeze the last ounce of life from him there and then. She snarled as she felt her hands shake, anger raging through her as she shouted her command once more. "Tell me!"

 

The warrior gasped as his eyes snapped shut, the pain soaring though his body putting him on the verge of passing out. He could barely move, and he could feel the utter hatred pouring from the Commander of twelve clans. His mission had succeeded and now his life was over but he didn't care. His purpose was served and now he was prepared to die for his queen.

 

All he did was muster a weak laugh so Lexa squeezed his throat harder, slamming his head back against the tree as her teeth clenched together and her body became taught. "Tell me," she whispered dangerously, the blood from the fallen warriors smeared over every inch of her skin. "Or I will hunt down everyone close to you and ensure they each die slower, and a hundred times more painfully than you."

 

Dax winced from his position a few feet behind Lexa, standing guard for anyone else who may come upon them. His throat was dry from what he had been witness to, very aware of the atrocity of war and ugliness of death but this was something else completely.

 

The warrior was about to laugh again but Lexa cut him off with a grunt as she practically pinched at his throat. "Speak," she commanded, and Dax was certain she sounded like death itself.

 

The warrior swallowed painfully but finally brought his gaze to the hollow and empty green eyes in front of him. "You will kneel before the Ice Queen or Wanheda's will be the next head that is delivered to your bed."

 

The fury took over and Lexa squeezed the warrior's neck until he gasped and spluttered like it really was his last breath but then she stopped, letting his neck go before she spun on the spot and glared at the ground, her hands in tight fists at her sides. Her chest heaved and her body physically shook with the images that flashed through her mind. Costia's head, over and over again until it morphed into Clarke's and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Squeezing her eyes shut didn't help at all but it was her body's first defence at repelling the images. It felt like her heart was bleeding at it might never stop.

 

"Heda..." Dax finally uttered, faltering as he went to step closer but then thought better of it. His face showed all kinds of concern but honestly, he had absolutely no idea what to do.

 

After a moment Lexa's eyes flew open, her posture rigid and shoulders quickly going back. She stared at Dax and for a moment, as she heard the warrior behind her gasp in another breath she felt overcome by stillness, but then it was over. She reached for her sword and in one fluid movement she pulled it from its sheath and turned, slicing through the warrior's throat cleanly and fatally, enjoying momentarily the way his body slumped lifelessly to the cold ground.

 

She stared at him for a few seconds, the rage seeming to come back tenfold and then she replaced her sword across her back, barging passed Dax without even giving him a second glance.

 

Dax too stared at the warrior, wishing more than ever that Gustus was still alive. Surely he would know what to do. What to say to Lexa to bring her back from this but instead it fell to him, and he felt utterly lost. He ran his hands over his head before he turned and sprinted after his Commander.

 

He found her pacing only a few yards away, the low sunlight creating a darkness that cast long shadows in the small half circle of trees she was surrounded by. Her back was to him and for what felt like an age to Dax he just stood there, worried and panicked and if he was truthful, more than a little scared too.

 

"Heda..." he finally ventured, swallowing painfully as he knew what he was about to say was completely the wrong thing. For her that was, not for their people. "You cannot give your life for-"

 

"-You do not order me!" Lexa fumed, her tone as hoarse and as ragged as he had ever heard it. "I am Heda!" she continued, "I shall decide what to do."

 

Dax swallowed again. "Of course, Heda," he hurried, looking away from her quickly even though she wasn't facing him. "I am sorry..." and then he sighed, because if Lexa wasn't going to be objective then it was his place to be. He tried to hold himself steady, willing for the nerve to confront the person he respected most when she was obviously in so much pain. "But you must think clearly."

 

She spun around at that and on her face he saw everything he feared. This was a woman in the middle of breaking, a pillar already collapsing and it was down to him to save her from her own despair. He fidgeted nervously and felt his heart beating like multiple thunder bolts.

 

"Clearly?!" she spat, and Dax could see the pain in her eyes even from the distance he was at.

 

He decided to go all in and so he took an optimistic step forward and pointed to the ground at his feet. "There will be a way around this," he tried to assure her as he nodded. "There will," and then his voice became more confident. "And we shall find it."

 

Lexa just shook her head, less filled with rage now and much more like defeat. "She will not die because of me," she croaked, working hard to stop her chest from caving in on itself. "Not again."

 

Dax took another step. "She will not," he responded slowly, glaring at his leader as he tried to impart a sense of calm, although he didn't feel it at all. It got her attention though and so she looked at him. "Let us return," Dax continued, his voice as soothing as he could possibly make it. "Well will make a plan and we will get Clarke back."

 

It was only a moment or so before she broke their gaze, her arms now folded over her chest. "Nia is no fool," she pushed out, breaking the fragile calm that wasn't really there in the first place. She turned again so her back was to her general. "I am the fool," she mumbled, loud enough for only herself to hear.

 

Lexa couldn't believe she could ever be so foolish, not after last time. It was ridiculous how she had fallen for it, and she was certain Nia and all of Azgeda must be laughing at her while she cowered in the woods. Lexa furrowed her brow and pushed her fingertips against it, sucking in a deep breath and dispelling it in angry frustration. She turned on her heel as her hands returned to fists and they punched at the air at her sides as she strode passed Dax and back into the oncoming darkness.

 

**

 

The first things that struck Clarke was that her head was pounding and that she was inside. The last thing she remembered was being outside with Zeek, who was acting exceptionally strangely but now she was alone, or so it seemed.

 

"Zeek?" she whispered as she reached around in the darkness trying her best to get her bearings. It didn't help, however, and if Zeek was there with her then he was most certainly out cold.

 

She reached up to her head and winced, feeling what must be blood dampening her palm but then a door flung open and Clarke suddenly found herself drenched in candle light. She glared at the door as two warriors entered and stood either side of it, both carrying swords and built like marble statues.

 

"Gyon op," one of them ordered bluntly, and after a moment or so Clarke scrambled to her feet.

 

"What's going on?" Clarke asked a little tentatively, her voice cracked and ragged. "Where am I?"

 

The warriors said nothing, they didn't even look at her but before Clarke could say anything more a woman walked in, dressed head to toe in white and grey furs with a crown made of what Clarke assumed was bone atop her head.

 

Clarke swallowed as she took her in, the woman just standing there and looking at her with a mixture of distaste and cold calculation in her icy gaze. Clarke took a few steps back. It could only be Nia.

 

"It doesn't matter where you are," the woman said with a kind of lofty authority. She made Clarke's skin crawl. "It matters what you can do for me. Will you not bow before your Queen?"

 

Clarke scoffed. So this was the woman who tortured and murdered Costia, torturing Lexa in the process. Clarke wished she could shoot her there and then, if only her gun hadn't been taken. "You're no Queen to me," Clarke spat, "and I won't do anything for you."

 

Nia smirked infuriatingly. "Maybe not intentionally. But you being here already does a lot for me."

 

Clarke puffed out her chest, the very idea of being used not at all sitting well with her. Whatever this was, Clarke wouldn't play any part in it. "I will do everything I can to stop whatever the hell it is you want to do." She became more confident and so she took a step forward. "You won't achieve anything by holding me here."

 

Nia chuckled a little, finding Clarke's naivety rather endearing. "Oh I will," she gloated as she narrowed her eyes. "There's nothing you can do to stop me. Lexa knows you are here and when she comes for you, I'll be waiting."

 

Clarke's throat went inexplicably dry and she gasped in a breath quickly. Maybe this could buy her some time, if she could figure out exactly what Nia's plan was. She lifted her chin and straightened her posture. "What makes you think she'll come for me?"

 

"I'm no fool, sky girl," Nia said as she carried on chuckling. "Our great Commander has allowed herself to become vulnerable again and this time I will make sure she pays for it. She is not strong enough to lead us and she proves it again and again."

 

Clarke raised a brow and folded her arms over her chest. "I'm not sure what you think you know, but I'm no leverage over the Commander."

 

The chuckle turned into a laugh, at that. "Oh Wanheda, I have many spies. Some even in that great tower of hers. Am I supposed to think your nights together are spent discussing politics and strategy?"

 

Clarke smirked and tried to appear nonchalant. "No," she said as she shook her head. "We have, enjoyed each other, that much is true," she shrugged. "But if you think it's any more than that then you are a fool."

 

Nia quirked a brow and Clarke knew she was onto something. She took another step forward and decided to run with it.  "Whether you kill me or not, Lexa won't give up her command for me so this charade you're putting on will come to nothing."

 

Nia raised her chin and regarded Clarke with an air of curiosity. She looked like she was considering something before she turned and headed for the door. "We'll see," she threw over her shoulder as she stopped, looking as if she may say something more but instead she just carried on walking.

 

Clarke licked her lips and after the guards left and closed the door, returning her to darkness her expression fell, her demeanour and heart falling along with them. Clarke's thoughts immediately went out to Lexa because if she really did know Nia had taken her then, well, Clarke didn't even want to think about what it would be doing to her. She couldn't let Lexa give up her life and her command for her, it wasn't even an option so she was going to have to bluff her way out of this, somehow.

 

**

 

By the time Lexa returned to Camp Jaha the sun had set and the wind carried an uncomfortable bite of cold. Lexa rode Balius practically all the way to her tent and when she dismounted she didn't stop for anyone, not even when she heard Abby call her name. Dax tried to catch her when he slipped from his horse, walking as fast as he could as he didn't want to draw undue attention by breaking into a desperate run.

 

Abby however didn't have that concern. She ran from the gates of Camp Jaha but only got as far as Dax had managed to when Lexa stormed through the entrance to her tent, the two guards on duty standing to attention and glaring out at the approaching Skaikru.

 

Dax heard Abby's approach and he stopped her, reaching an arm out in front of her. "No," he urged her, but Abby looked far too panicked.

 

After a moment she shrugged Dax away and frowned at him, her expression full of heartache. "What happened?" she snapped, and then she glanced around, hopeful. "Where's Clarke?"

 

There was a small crowd of Skaikru and Trikru that had gathered, all awaiting the Commander's return to find out about the supposed war. Not many knew Clarke was missing, but they were sure to find out soon enough. Marcus remained at the gates, holding back Raven and those who had accompanied him to the nonexistent battle, trying his best to inspire a sense of calm. Indra had stayed with the majority of the army once she had arrived and was now making her way to the Commander's tent.

 

"Tell me," Abby implored, the emotion rising in her chest. "Is she alive?"

 

"Yes," Dax responded, although he obviously couldn't know that for sure. He knew as much as Lexa did that Nia would want to use Clarke as a pawn and so it would serve no purpose to kill her. "Nia will have her now."

 

It was what Abby already knew. "Where?" she asked as she gathered herself, sniffing back a breath and trying to harden herself, as much as she could.

 

That Dax couldn't answer. He shook his head and was about to answer as much before he changed his mind at the last minute. "We will find out," he replied firmly, however it did nothing but make Abby take a few steps back.

 

She moved her attention over to Lexa's tent and her expression became one of contempt and betrayal.

 

"Heda did it to protect her," Dax sighed, his voice low and quiet. He knew the conversation Lexa had had with her the night before.

 

Abby though just looked broken, and more than a little confrontational. "And Nia took her anyway," she all but spat, turning back to Dax and almost looking through him. "If Clarke dies," she started dangerously, "then the war with Azgeda will be the least of your worries."

 

Abby remained there for a moment, just to reiterate her point before she spun around and powered back to Camp Jaha, wondering what the hell she was going to tell her people.

 

All Dax could think about though was Lexa, and as he saw Indra approaching he moved over to meet her. "Indra," he greeted weakly.

 

Indra took one look at his expression before she glanced over her shoulder and nodded for her escort to leave them. They did, creating a disjointed semi circle around them a good few yards away before she focused back on Dax again.

 

"I've never seen her like this," he worried, keeping his voice quiet but trying to impart the severity of the situation as much as he could.

 

Indra's jaw flexed as she then turned her gaze to the tent. She remembered all too clearly how the Commander could get when she was broken. "I have," Indra responded after a moment or so, her chest pulling in a heavy breath as she contemplated the best course of action. She licked at her lips. "Send word to Pius," she ordered, thinking as clearly as she could. "He must know of this."

 

"What of Heda?" Dax quickly asked, the worry thick in his tone. "The message from Nia-"

 

"-I know what her message is," Indra interrupted, her voice full of hated for the woman who hid behind her warriors and allies who did all her fighting for her. Indra had never known a greater coward than the Ice Queen. "Go. I will speak with Heda."

 

Dax nodded and watched as Indra approached Lexa's tent and with nothing else for him to do he went to find a messenger to send to Polis, hoping Indra would be more successful with her counsel than he was.

 

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
> **  
> Translations.  
>   
> 
> Trikru.  
>  _Woods Clan._
> 
> Azgeda.  
>  _Ice Nation._
> 
> "Biyo moba, Wanheda."  
>  _"I am sorry, Commander of death."_
> 
> "Chit don kom au?"  
>  _"What happened?"_
> 
> "Oso don fig em au dise soujon kom Tondisi."  
>  _"We found him like this on our way here from TonDC."_
> 
> "Indra na kom op, Heda."  
>  _"Indra is on her way, Commander."_
> 
> "Ron ai ridiyo op."  
>  _"Speak true."_
> 
> "Weron Klark?"  
>  _"Where is Clarke?"_
> 
> "Heda. Wigod ai. Emo don tona."  
>  _"Commander. Forgive me. There were too many."_
> 
> "Chon?"  
>  _"Who?"_
> 
> "Azgeda. Emo don set raun."  
>  _"Ice Nation. They were waiting."_
> 
> "Moba."  
>  _"Sorry."_
> 
> "Biyo moba."  
>  _"I am sorry."_
> 
> "Mafta emo op!"  
>  _"Follow them!"_
> 
> "Gyon op."  
>  _"Get up."_


	18. eitin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Indra tries her hand at talking to an emotional Lexa, as does Luna. Raven gets angry and it's left to Dax to try to appease her. Tensions are high as Lexa addresses Skaikru in the wake of what happened and Clarke tries to mislead the Ice Queen, after meeting Roan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always for your continued support of this story :) tensions are really rising now in the buildup to a final showdown with Azgeda. To those meeting Eliza and Tasya this weekend in Germany - you lucky, lucky people ;) I hope you're all having the best time :)  
> For those in London right now during this latest attack - please be safe. My thoughts are with you. I'm from England myself and was in London just last weekend - let's not let them win but at all times be careful and vigilant.  
> You can find me on [Twitter](http://twitter.com/talented_gemx) or [Tumblr](http://talentedgemx.tumblr.com).

When Indra entered the tent Lexa was pacing, all rigid and taut and fierce in front of her throne. Her face was downcast and angled at her hands that were clasped in front of her chest, the fingers of her one hand pressing and digging into the back of the other. Her breathing was loud and evenly spaced, as if it was in this moment the only thing she could control.

 

She didn't stop when she heard Indra enter, nor did she acknowledge her. She simply carried on pacing reminding the general of a caged animal, calculating when it should pounce. She wasn't like this when Costia was first taken. She was calmer, but of course back then she didn't know what was to come. She thought she would get her back.

 

Indra just watched her, not quite knowing what to say. What was there to say? That history wasn't about to repeat itself? That it wouldn't probably be far worse this time around?

 

Indra swallowed and she actually felt a little nervous, and nervousness had long since left the general. She knew she had to say something, and to fulfil her duty it should be along the lines of Lexa holding her course. Of not giving in to Nia's bait. Of resisting the temptation to storm Ouskejou and Delfikru villages, slaughtering all those loyal to Azgeda until someone gave up Clarke and Nia's location. To not let emotions rule her, etc, etc, etc.

 

Indra opened her mouth to speak before she closed it again, shifting a little on the spot as she considered and then dismissed what she should say. Before she could settle on anything, however, Lexa turned and beat her to it.

 

The emotion was thick behind her eyes, the distress in her expression evident and then Lexa held up her palm in Indra's direction. "Do not," she scratched out rather hoarsely. "Indra, do not," and after a moment or so of holding each other's gaze Lexa dropped her tired eyes to her throne, the ferocity that had built within her all but vanishing. The bite from her tone disappearing too as if in that moment it all came crashing down around her. "I know," she said solemnly. "But I cannot."

 

If Indra was that sort of person she would have crossed the distance and enveloped her leader in a tight and reassuring hug, letting her know that she wasn't alone and she would get through this next test in her leadership but Indra just wasn't. It didn't stop her from wanting to, however.

 

Instead she watched as Lexa seemed to curl up a little, close off even more. Internalise her suffering and pain so outwardly she could be something else. She could be the leader her people needed, not the lost and lonely girl she felt.

 

Indra knew the feeling well. She had closed herself off many times but the difference was she didn't have to lead. She didn't have to issue the orders that resulted in people's deaths and because of that, Indra supposed, she would never quite understand what Lexa was going through. But she knew enough.

 

"You must," Indra uttered eventually, after the minutes spent observing her tortured leader became too much. The first sentence on the tip of her tongue was about commitment to duty and it took some effort to not let it fall from her lips automatically. Instead Indra just sighed, her thumb coming up to rub against her temple before she moved over to the table and all but slumped into the chair beside it. She sighed again before she shook her head. "You just must," she said again, her tone lacking its usual assertiveness.

 

Her behaviour even startled Lexa, somewhat, or at least it took her a little by surprise but she was thankful not to receive a lecture nonetheless. Relieved really, and she quietly went back to her pacing.

 

They stayed like that for a while, comfortable in their own discomfort and mutual loss of words but eventually the silence became too much for them both. Lexa pushed out a loud breath and lowered herself onto her throne, her forearms stretching along the supports as her fingertips massaged the wooden ends.

 

"This war will end more lives," Lexa finally said, her gaze fixed on her right hand and her voice quiet but still loud after the long silence. "Perhaps even more than the last."

 

Indra's eyes flicked up from the floor. "All wars do."

 

Lexa was still emotional. Still upset at what she'd allowed to happen as well how much she was letting it affect her. She needed to be Heda again. She needed to be strong and although she was trying to hide her emotions, she knew they were still showing through. "Yes," was all she could manage to say.

 

"Stay strong, Heda," Indra responded after a moment, attempting to impart some strength although she didn't particularly feel it herself, right then. She straightened her spine nonetheless and levelled out her jaw. "No one is lost yet."

 

Lexa's gaze met her general's and she held it, sizing her up just as Indra was doing in return. It wasn't challenging, however, and instead it made Lexa straighten a little where she sat too. "If only it would stay that way."

 

Indra broke their gaze, glancing away as she recalled something she never liked to think of. "As you remember, Heda, in the last war I lost Kosmou," and then she gazed back at her, taking in a breath or two. "We have all lost someone."

 

Lexa clenched her jaw at that, and flattened her spine against the back of her throne. She remembered all too well; it was in the weeks that followed Costia's death. Lexa looked back at her hand. "And I must lose again." She didn't mean it selfishly, it was just an obvious prediction.

 

Indra's eyes glazed over a little, never normally one to get lost in painful memories. "You chose to love again," she responded quietly, not argumentatively or accusatory. Just a clear fact. "Some of us do not."

 

It made Lexa look at her though, and her brow furrow. "So I deserve it?"

 

"No," Indra replied quickly. She didn't mean that at all. "No one does," and then she hardened her tone again, wanting and needing it to be a lot firmer. She sat forward in her chair. "But you are Heda. If you cannot bear it, then who will?"

 

Lexa scoffed, just a little, and just under her breath as she raised her brow and almost pulled her lips into a smirk. She was right, of course, but then Indra generally was. She cleared her throat. "Don't you think we deserve better than this, Indra?" she asked, sending the conversation in another direction. "You do not believe you deserve to find happiness once again?"

 

Indra actually shrugged, a bit, and tilted her head to the side. "Perhaps," she responded honestly, never really giving it much thought. There was one thing she was sure of, however. "Life has taught us differently."

 

Lexa did smile then, just a little. "Indeed it has."

 

There was a slight pause as they both seemed to ponder things and then Indra got to her feet, taking in a long and deep breath. She grabbed once more at the hilt of her sword against her hip. "I believe one day you will deliver it for us, Heda," she offered with a dip of her head.

 

Lexa blinked at her, just once. "Peace?"

 

Indra nodded. "And happiness." She shifted a little awkwardly where she stood. "That is why I follow you. That is why _you_ must live." She held Lexa's gaze for a few moments as if to amplify her statement before she turned and headed for the exit. She stopped though, just before she got there and turned back. "You will find it for yourself, too."

 

Lexa nodded at the sentiment. "I am uncertain of that," she replied quietly because if this war meant the end of Clarke then she wasn't sure she would ever feel anything again.

 

Indra's lips hinted at a smile. "One day."

 

That didn't cut if for Lexa, though, because there was no way Nia was going to win this. No way Lexa would lose Clarke or her Coalition, and there had to be a way to ensure that. There just _had_ to be. She looked at her general a little desperately but at that moment she didn't care. "Tell me how I win this, Indra," she implored, her hands now gripping at the wood beneath them. "Tell me how we all can."

 

Indra released a heavy breath but the longer she held her leader's gaze the more she knew they had to try. She knew Lexa would regardless and if nothing else she was her Heda's most loyal right hand. She would assist her in anything and even though she was certain something would be lost over the coming days, as long as Lexa still had fight then so did she.

 

**

 

Luna glanced at Dax after they both watched Indra leave the tent. The general paused only momentarily as her grip tightened around the hilt of her sword before she turned quickly and headed down the hill toward her army.

 

There was no time for speculation; not that Indra's expression could be fathomed either way to hint at the conversation she'd had inside but without any further preamble, Luna left Dax's side and walked quickly for the tent herself.

 

If Dax was honest he felt Lexa could probably use a little more time between opinions on the situation from others, even if it was coming from those who knew her best but he didn't have time to stop Luna as a figure in red attempted to blur past him. As he turned he knew this one he _could_ hold back regardless of how angry and bitter she appeared.

 

"Reivon stop!" He tried to command as he grabbed her arm, abruptly stepping in front of her to block her path.

 

"Get off me!" she spat, pushing him away with one forearm against his chest. She seemed vicious, almost, with her teeth bared, eyes hard and frame completely rigid. "It's her fault!"

 

Dax was surprised, not expecting such a slender person to be so strong but from the weight and ferocity of her glare he was quickly coming to other conclusions. She tried to walk by him again but he easily held her back. "I said stop!" he instructed again, injecting a little more weight of his own into his tone.

 

Raven though was clearly worked up and she wasn't scared of saying what she wanted to, loudly and in public for anyone to hear. "Abby told me about their conversation," she started, her expression quickly filling with contempt. "This is _her_ fault," she sneered as she pointed at the Commander's tent, "and I want to know what _she_ intends to do about it."

 

Dax clenched his jaw, frustration among many other things rising up in his chest. Did no one in Skaikru understand discretion? "Now is not the time," he said in a low voice, his eyes not leaving the emotional ones that were fixed on his as he tried to instil a sense of level-headedness into their exchange. He took a step closer to her. "Heda will speak with all of Skaikru when she is ready."

 

Raven actually snorted, at that. "Oh, when _she's_ ready?!"

 

Dax just blinked. Level-headedness wasn't going to work, he noted. "Yes."

 

Raven angled her chin up at him. "Not good enough," she smirked before she moved to barge past him once more.

 

Dax stepped in front of her and lightly pushed her shoulders back, sending Raven back a step. The rage quickly returned to her eyes but Dax held up a placating palm between them, his tone hard and firm. "You will not."

 

As if seeming to sense she wasn't going to have her argument with Lexa anytime soon she instead decided to take it out on the grounder in front of her. They were all the same, after all, and this one obviously had a soft spot for the person responsible for Clarke's abduction. "Did you know about it?" she challenged, her voice getting louder. "About their meeting?"

 

Dax could only stare at her. He knew she was referring to the conversation Lexa had with Abby in the dead of night before Clarke was taken but he wasn't going to admit the exchange actually happened. Not out here where even the trees had ears.

 

Raven grinned, wide and sardonic-like. "Of course you did." Her voice was softer, however, definitely quieter and perhaps almost a whisper.

 

Perhaps, maybe, Raven could be counted on for discretion when it was really needed. Dax sighed as he considered it, knowing his trust would more than likely be misplaced but he knew Raven was important, and important, intelligent people shouldn't be left in the dark when their trust needed to be earned. He lowered his voice, too. "Heda-"

 

"-Heda this, Heda that," she interrupted with a roll of her eyes, not even giving him chance to test his theory. "I'll tell you something about your Heda-"

 

He looked at her dangerously. "-Do not say something you will regret, Reivon."

 

Raven scoffed, her hands dropping to her hips as she cut her eyes at him. "Or what?"

 

Dax shook his head. She was fiery, and although he admired that he didn't appreciate it aimed at Lexa right then. The thought made him soften and he pushed out a tired breath. "Heda had her reasons for doing what she did."

 

"Well Heda made the wrong decision," Raven responded sarcastically, although she kept her voice low.

 

"That may be," Dax conceded as much as it pained him to do so, the implication however wasn't lost on Raven. "But you, running in there with anger aimed at Heda will only get you killed."

 

That made Raven pause, for a moment. "What do you care?"

 

Dax sighed, again. "I care about senseless loss of life," he covered, not thinking now would be the time to admit that if there should be any member of Skaikru who deserved death, then it definitely wasn't the very skilful and _very_ attractive mechanic. He swallowed automatically at his latter thought. There would probably _never_ be a good time to admit that. "You are worth more alive than dead, Reivon," he continued, "and it will _not_ help relations between our people if something happens to you as well."

 

Although flattered by his apparent concern Raven filed it away for later use, perhaps when they were all in a meeting and she could use it to create a distraction, or cause him embarrassment, or something. She cleared her throat a little and couldn't help the momentary reprieve in her anger. "I don't know if you've noticed," she began with the tiniest hint of a half smile as she gestured to her leg. "But I'm not exactly running anywhere."

 

Dax dropped his gaze to her leg and then flicked it back up again, a smile almost appearing on his face as well before Raven snapped out of it and got back to the matter at hand.

 

She coughed loudly before she once more pointed toward the Commander's tent. "I told Clarke pairing up with _her_ was a bad idea, and now look. She's gone, possibly dead-"

 

"-She is not dead." Dax cut in, quick to mirror her confrontational demeanour.

 

"How do you know?" Raven demanded, not sure how he could be sure of that.

 

"I know Nia," he responded flippantly. "Clarke will not die before she has served a purpose."

 

Raven's eyes grew wide as she scoffed and gestured out with her hands at her sides. "Oh well that's comforting."

 

"Heda will fix this," Dax forced, suddenly annoyed with her level of back chat. "She will get Clarke back."

 

"She better," Raven answered flippantly, scowling hard at him though her tone was low and quiet. She sized him up for a moment before she took half a step into his personal space, glaring up at him through narrowed eyes. "Or she might just wake up with a bomb beneath her bed." It was full of promise and with a quick quirk of her brow she turned and headed slowly back to the ark.

 

**

 

Luna marched into Lexa's tent without waiting to be announced or indeed waiting for any kind of approval. Her eyes were quick to find their target, the lone figure of Lexa standing along the opposite side of the tent, facing the bland tarp as her head made the smallest of movements when Luna hurried in.

 

"Lexa," Luna breathed, her feet stopping when she got to the middle of the tent, her eyes scanning her friend with worry. "Dax has just told me...are you okay?"

 

After a moment or so Lexa folded her arms behind her back, slowly straightening her posture as she breathed in a long and heavy breath. "What happened at the underpass?" she asked, her tone flat and voice quiet. "Did the bomb serve its purpose?"

 

Luna wasn't sure what she expected to find when she walked into her Commander's tent, but a composed and controlled Lexa wasn't it. She shifted her weight from foot to foot as she tried to understand. "Yes," she finally answered. "Just as planned." She wished she knew what Indra had said to her.

 

Lexa angled her head a little more toward Luna but still she didn't turn, she instead cast her gaze down to the ground and nodded.

 

"Lexa," Luna began as she took a step closer, concern etched into both her features and her tone. "What happened?"

 

Lexa looked up again, then. "What did Dax tell you?"

 

Luna swallowed, pulling in an uneasy breath. "The enemy advances were distractions. Upon their retreat Clarke was taken."

 

Lexa blinked a few times and nodded her head once more, turning back to face the tarp. "Then you know as much as me."

 

Luna felt angry and frustrated all at once, her hands momentarily curling into fists at her sides. "Azgeda," she growled under her breath, pushing the word out between clenched teeth. Of course she already knew Azgeda were behind it, everyone did and it was always them. Always Azgeda pushing the boundaries of the Coalition, always Nia pushing the line between peace and war. A part of her wished Lexa had denied the Ice Queen entry into the Coalition and had taken her revenge for Costia in the last war. At least then she would no longer be a constant threat.

 

"Yes," Lexa sighed, pulling Luna from her reverie and then the Commander's tone dropped into a low, bitter scratchiness. "Azgeda."

 

It was only then did another, perhaps just as problematic issue struck Luna. "What of Skaikru?" she worried aloud. Of course they would immediately blame Lexa for Clarke's abduction.

 

Lexa sighed again as she turned to face her friend. "They are angry," she admitted a little dejectedly, and then she looked away. "I have yet to address them properly."

 

Luna immediately took a step closer as she picked up on her Commander's tone. "We must go after Azgeda now," she started firmly. "Find out where Nia is hiding and take Clarke back with force."

 

"I already chased them," Lexa interjected quietly and then her eyes became a shade duller than they already were. Like another layer of life was drifting from her. "Clarke is gone."

 

Luna exhaled as her jaw clenched, her heart going out to her childhood friend. Hopeless wasn't something Lexa could be feeling right now, however. The Coalition needed Action Lexa, their fearless leader and Luna somehow needed to coax her out as it seemed Indra hadn't done so already. "What does Nia want?"

 

Lexa glanced at the ground. "You know what she wants."

 

She did, and there was no way she could allow Lexa to do it. "Lexa," she began. "Heda. You cannot trade yourself."

 

Lexa glanced up at her, then. Her eyes still dull but piercing and determined nonetheless. "Do not tell me what I cannot do, Luna."

 

"Heda," Luna stated even more firmly. "You are the Coali-"

 

"-Do not," Lexa bit back, cutting her off and glaring even harder. "I already know every word you will say." She had heard it enough times at least, from as many different people. She assumed Pius would have his fill as well, as soon as he turned up. Lexa just walked to the other side of her tent, angry, bitter, broken, and much more besides. She and Indra had discussed many scenarios, the same result more apparent with each of them. The very same thing Luna was telling her now.

 

Luna turned to follow her. "You are Heda."

 

Lexa spun on her heel and spat out her reply. "Yes I am Heda. You are not."

 

Luna though wasn't done. "Nia is here, Commander. We must strike before she retreats to Azgeda," and then she softened her tone, a little. "We will find Clarke and end Nia as she deserves." Luna shook her head. "Where is your fight?"

 

That was it. The semi-calm resolve she had found after her conversation with Indra fled from her like a screaming child. How dare Luna, of all people question her fight and her will. How dare anyone talk to her like she didn't know what fight was and how it should be wielded. Lexa had done nothing but fight her entire life. Was she not allowed to be sick of it? Was she not allowed to be tired of making every decision, every sacrifice, every argument and have nothing to call her own at the end of it? All she had were a people who still questioned her, who still challenged her like she hadn't already given up everything for them.

 

She spun to face her friend with a fire in her eyes and a grim determination in the line of her jaw that forcedly pushed Luna back a step. The thing was though; they were right. Luna warned her, as did Pius and Indra. They saw Nia's move coming but Lexa didn't listen. She didn't heed them and now Clarke was gone. She was on the brink of war with Azgeda as she would be with Skaikru if Clarke wasn't returned safely and the truth of it was that Lexa _did_ know. She knew exactly what Nia would do and chose to be with Clarke anyway. She chose to indulge and put Clarke at risk and now she must pay for it.

 

Lexa felt foolish, and weak, and she couldn't stop her wrath from crashing down on Luna's shoulders. "Do not question me," she snapped, her expression hard and desperately unforgiving. "I was built to fight and it is all I have known. One fight after the next, after the next. I have lost and sacrificed more than you will know in ten lifetimes. More than anyone will know yet you believe you can lecture me on yet another."

 

Luna swallowed at the sheer depth in Lexa's tone. The threatening glint in her eyes as well as her rigid, intimidating frame. Lexa had always been slight in build with an innate ability to seem ten feet tall, never more so than now. "Heda-"

 

"-It will not happen again," Lexa cut in, her glare unwavering but for a moment her eyes filled with moisture before it evaporated again. "Clarke will not die for me."

 

Luna took a further step back as she raised her chin. "Her life is not worth yours, Heda."

 

Lexa's eyes flashed with fire again and she looked for a moment like she might explode before somehow she managed to temper it, regarding Luna with a contemplative if not still dangerous stare. "What is a life worth, Luna?" she asked, throwing her friend off guard a little. Lexa set her shoulders back somewhat, serving to calm herself as her chest took in some steadying breaths. "Is yours worth more than mine?"

 

Luna was a little shocked at the question. "No Heda, of course not."

 

Although Lexa's chin remained raised she seemed to nod, just once. Her arms folding behind her back. "And did you not run from the Conclave, a coward, selfishly preserving your own life above whomever would become Heda?"

 

Luna felt as if she had shrunk several feet, her head dropping a little. She wasn't ashamed of her choices but she did understand the comparison Lexa was making. "I wished to find peace," she answered quietly. "As you know."

 

"Yes," Lexa agreed, her voice becoming firmer and agitated once more. "A peace you found because I allowed it. Now you stand before me, preaching about duty and who should live as if you didn't run from _your_ duty and the burden of delivering peace for all our people, rather than just for yourself."

 

Luna's gaze couldn't meet Lexa's. She looked just passed her and nodded minutely, chancing a glance up for a moment. "I did return, and now I fight alongside you to deliver that peace."

 

Lexa tilted her head just a little, taking in another deep breath. "You did," she affirmed, trying her best to settle the inferno bubbling within her chest. She knew what her next move must be, and she knew she must be calm to deliver them. Skaikru would likely throw more at her than what Indra and Luna had but she couldn't afford to react so angrily at them. "And we will fight," she continued, taking a step into Luna's personal space. "We will hunt down every traitor and make them pay for their treachery. We will burn down villages if we have to and I will find Nia." Lexa paused as her eyes became vengeful. "I will kill her," she forced, holding and maintaining eye contact so Luna could see her vicious intent. "Because this is the cost of peace."

 

They remained like that for a moment, Luna not willing to look away first and Lexa wanting to make sure her friend was with her, whatever the outcome. Finally Lexa broke eye contact and moved for the exit; she had to speak with Skaikru and really the sooner the better.

 

Luna though grabbed her arm. "And Clarke?" she asked, holding the Commander back. "If we can't save her?"

 

Lexa's chin raised again and she simply turned away, intending to pull out of Luna's grip.

 

Luna though wasn't about to let go. "Lexa?" she asked again.

 

Lexa turned on Luna with force and twisted out of her grip. "I _will_ save Clarke," she answered, her tone firm and assured and when Luna raised a brow in question her voice became gentler, but no less determined. "One way or the other," and then was gone before Luna could respond.

 

**

 

No matter what scenario Clarke came up with to get out of this, none of them ended well. They either resulted in her or Lexa's death, or indeed both and she was starting to think no matter what happened, the latter would probably happen anyway.

 

She sighed loudly as she continued to pace a dent in the floor, her palms rubbing over her face and then through her hair. She hated that yet again she was someone's prisoner, once more stuck in a cell and this time she knew her comfort wouldn't be in mind. Not like how Dante wanted to bribe her or how Lexa...

 

_Lexa._

 

Clarke stopped her pacing and rested her hands loosely on her hips, gazing down at the hard stone rather forlornly. What was she thinking? Where was Zeek taking her? What was he trying to tell her before she was knocked out cold? She frowned heavily as she once more tried to figure it out. Was Zeek secretly Azgeda? But if he was where was he? She shook her head. That wasn't possible. She'd spent a great deal of time with him and there was no way he was a traitor or spy, and no way he would betray Lexa. Absolutely none.

 

It still didn't answer where he was taking her however. Before she blacked out he said they'd arrived but her people weren't there. They weren't anywhere close so, that would mean he had orders to take her somewhere else. Away from her people and away from the battle.

 

"She lied to me," Clarke pondered aloud, her brow furrowing even more than it was before and then she chewed a little on her bottom lip. "You didn't want me in that battle," she sighed as her eyes travelled to the ceiling and then around the cold, baron walls. She smiled to herself somewhat sardonically. "Please don't say you betrayed me again," she murmured quietly but before she could ponder it any further, the door to her cell opened and a tall, heavily built man came in.

 

"So you're the great Wanheda," the man said as he entered, tilting his head at Clarke as he sized her up.

 

Clarke just hardened her expression and glared at him.

 

After a moment or so he smiled. "I thought you would be taller."

 

"And who the hell are you?" she asked a little fiercely, not about to give an inch to this tall, rather well built and intimidating looking man before her. "And what do you want?"

 

Strangely he just grinned at her, not appearing to want to intimidate at all. "I'm here to take you to your Queen."

 

Clarke scoffed. "She will never be my Queen."

 

"Oh no?" he asked as he raised a brow, taking a small step further into the room. "I'm told you say you're not loyal to the Commander."

 

That piqued her attention. Maybe she'd left an impact on Nia during their first meeting after all.

 

He shook his head. "Are you saying you won't make a deal with Azgeda?"

 

Clarke held his inquisitive gaze for a few moments, not quite sure if he was testing her or not but whatever he was doing, if this was an opportunity Clarke was going to seize it.

 

"Skaikru need to pick a side with someone," he continued, straightening his posture as he spoke. "And if you want to live it should be us."

 

Clarke's brow lifted a little in contemplation. Hopefully if nothing else this could buy her some time. "I'm open to negotiations," she responded firmly.

 

The man smirked as he pushed out his chin a little. "Good," he replied before he stood to the side and gestured toward the door. "After you."

 

Clarke nodded and then licked her lips, heading for the door as she tried to feign confidence that she didn't feel. She felt rather than saw the man follow her out of the room and although she couldn't hear him behind her, just like Zeek she knew he was there.

 

**

 

Lexa was riled up on emotion which meant this was probably not the best time to speak to Clarke's people, especially when it was her fault she was taken in the first place but to delay any longer would be to show weakness, or at least that's what Lexa told herself as she approached Camp Jaha's gates.

 

She strode determinedly from her tent with Luna on her heels, Dax and Indra then joining behind with quite a few guards and warriors from the army bringing up the rear. They marched through the gates without hindrance, no member of Skaikru brave enough to stop or even question them. They were all far too intimidated by Lexa even without an entourage of twenty or so warriors.

 

As Lexa crossed the distance toward the ark a number of Skaikru followed her, especially those she passed after entering and quite a few spilled from the metal structure upon hearing the commotion. They gathered into a semi-circle around Lexa when she stopped in front of the metal door to the ark, turning slowly to survey those now standing around her. Even more Skaikru appeared as she got ready to speak, including those whom she recognised to be Clarke's friends. The Chancellor as well, and Marcus Kane who pushed his way through the rows of people in order to get closer to her.

 

"As you know," Lexa began after a quick look to her generals who nodded their consent that it was safe for her to begin. Her voice was as loud as she could make it and she spoke with an iron grit she didn't particularly feel. "The Azgeda advancements were a distraction. To hide from us their true goal."

 

"To abduct Clarke," Bellamy was quick to offer, his arms crossed firmly over his chest.

 

Lexa turned her attention on him. "Yes," she confirmed after a moment, prompting the Skaikru in the crowd to murmur and protest loudly.

 

Marcus though was quick to silence them. "Quiet!" he ordered, moving to Lexa's side and then he leaned into her. "Commander, perhaps we should take this inside?" he asked quietly.

 

"No." The Commander responded, loud enough for everyone to hear and then she looked back out at the crowd. "I speak to you all because you all must hear it."

 

"Why was Clarke taken?" Monty asked. "And why aren't we trying to get her back?"

 

"How were they able to get to her?" Miller asked, and then more questions followed from all over the crowd.

 

"Wasn't she protected?"

 

"Are any of us safe?"

 

"What happens now?"

 

"Let the Commander speak!" Marcus shouted angrily, silencing any further comment.

 

"Just explain to us why she was taken." It was Bellamy again, and once more Lexa settled her gaze upon him.

 

He was challenging her, so Lexa raised her chin and puffed out her chest a little. "Clarke will be used as leverage to make us surrender."

 

The crowd murmured even louder and Bellamy had to shout to make sure he was heard. "To make _you_ surrender you mean."

 

Marcus narrowed his eyes at Bellamy, knowing that his flippant remarks were only going to make matters worse. "No one is surrendering," he barked, once again trying to silence his people.

 

"Maybe she should," Bellamy muttered.

 

"The actions of Azgeda will not be tolerated," Lexa began, Bellamy's comments serving to fire her up even more. "We will take Clarke back by force."

 

"Commander please," Marcus implored under his breath, so only Lexa could hear. "Not here."

 

"That's your plan?" Raven practically spat, her brow all kinds of furrowed. "Why should we trust you?"

 

"Your plan didn't work so well last time," Abby finally spoke up, her tone deep and voice thick with pain. "Why will it this time?"

 

Lexa felt it too. All of it, of course she did. The pain in her gut was eating her up but she didn't have the luxury of showing it. "Because there will be no room for error. We will take the villages loyal to Azgeda one by one. We will find Clarke and _kill_ Nia, by whatever means necessary."

 

"What if Nia kills Clarke before we get to her?" It was Abby again.

 

"She will not," Lexa responded evenly.

 

"How can you be sure?" Raven asked, wondering how the hell everyone seemed to take this as gospel. She glanced at Dax to find him staring at her with what was clearly compassion but she just pulled her eyes away. "There's no way you can know that for sure."

 

Lexa regarded Raven closely, then. Speaking directly to her. "Nia wants me. She won't kill Clarke before then, as she is the only leverage."

 

Bellamy shrugged. "What if we just hand you over?"

 

Dax and Indra immediately went for their swords and Luna took a forceful step toward him.

 

"That won't happen," Dax growled as he took a protective step in front of his Commander, several of the Skaikru guards also going for their weapons.

 

"Chil yu daun," Lexa ordered as her glare turned dangerous, and then she turned it full force on Bellamy. "What makes you think she then wouldn't kill you all, one by one?"

 

Bellamy glanced away, not being able to answer and the question seemed to settle the crowd as well.

 

Lexa could see this conversation was getting them nowhere and she was in no mood for a debate, especially with this boy who knew nothing of what it was to lead. She shook off the glares and questions that were still flying in the air and turned her attention to the one person in the crowd who she thought could help. "Reivon, you make weapons?"

 

Raven scoffed at the question and even though she was a long way from trusting the Commander, the opportunity to be proactive and productive in this was something she relished. "You know I do," she responded, her expression still wary but whatever she could do to help get Clarke back she wasn't about to say no to. "What do you need?"

 

"Anything that will cause destruction," Lexa replied with menace.

 

Raven's lips slowly pulled into a smirk as the ideas began to flood her mind. "You got it."

 

The mood of the crowd seemed to change with Lexa's apparent promise of forthcoming destruction and Raven agreeing to help. There was still a rumble of discontent however, a feeling of severe distrust.

 

"Make no mistake," Lexa started again, her voice now bellowing so even her army outside of Camp Jaha could hear her. "Azgeda _will_ fall and its Queen _will_ pay dearly for her disobedience. Clarke _will_ return to us, and those harbouring her will meet the same brutal death as their Queen, as will anyone who assisted her."

 

That appeared to appease everyone for the moment, much to Bellamy's chagrin who wasn't at all done with shouting down the Commander. He went to stop forward but out of nowhere Octavia grabbed his arm and stopped him.

 

"No, Bell," Octavia hissed, glaring daggers at him. "Just stop. Opposing the Commander won't help."

 

"Oh, so what are you telling me?" he threw back at her, "Don't tell me you trust a word she says?"

 

"We have to," Octavia pressed, keeping her voice low. "We're stronger fighting _with_ Lexa, not against her."

 

"She's right," Lincoln added, his presence steadfast behind Octavia as always. "Whatever you're opinion of the Commander, you don't want to be on her wrong side."

 

"Well you would say that," Bellamy retaliated, his irritation skyrocketing as everyone seemed to be falling in line with the Coalition. "Has everyone forgotten what happened at the Mountain?"

 

Octavia just shook her head. "Stop living in the past, Bell," she implored him. "If Clarke can trust her then so should you."

 

Bellamy just tore his gaze away from her and fixed it back on the Commander who had carried on talking about their imminent attack on the three opposing clans. "Well I don't," he muttered, but it just fell on deaf ears.

 

"Skaikru who wish to join the assault speak with Indra or Dax," Lexa finished up, nodding to her generals at her side. "They will instruct you further. We leave at first light."

 

With that Lexa strode forward, not waiting for any questions or further challenges as she knew her generals could handle it. She headed for the gates as the crowd began to dissipate wanting to get back inside her tent to prepare once more for battle.

 

After a few feet however Bellamy appeared at stepped in front of her. "Why should we trust you?" he asked, putting himself well and truly in her personal space. "You've done nothing to earn it."

 

Lexa's guards were upon them within seconds but Lexa held up her hand, gesturing them back a few paces. She had never liked Bellamy and every time they interacted she remembered exactly the reasons why. She clenched her jaw and glared at him with disdain. "Clarke would disagree," she said quietly, her tone retaining all of its rigidity.

 

"Clarke isn't here," Bellamy responded after a moment.

 

Out of the corner of her eye Lexa saw Abby approaching them and she thought the Chancellor would do well to intervene before Bellamy lost a limb. She raised her chin and narrowed her eyes at him, baring her teeth somewhat as she spoke. "When you have Commanded armies and lead civilisations then I may let you question me," she growled lowly. "Until then, follow the orders of those who lead you."

 

Abby pulled on his elbow then and directed him away from the Commander. "I need you to see Kane," she told him, but of course he went to protest. "Just go and speak with him," she said but this time a little louder, cutting off whatever he might have said before he could get it out. "Now, Bellamy."

 

Reluctantly Bellamy stepped away from Lexa and headed for the ark but not without throwing the Commander a final disrespectful glare.

 

Lexa's eyes fell on Abby.

 

"If you don't bring her back-"

 

"-I will." There was no room for debate, as far as Lexa was concerned. It was difficult when all she wanted to do was scream that Clarke meant just as much to her as she did to all of Skaikru but instead she remained firm and calm, reiterating the words she had already said to the Chancellor and would continue to do so until Clarke was safely back home.

 

Abby was no longer angry and there was nothing within her that wanted to challenge the Commander's orders or second guess her motives. She just _needed_ Clarke back and in that moment she felt like she would offer Lexa anything in order to get her to do it, regardless of the bravado she had shown the Commander before. "But if-"

 

"-There is no 'if'," Lexa replied softly after a moment, and for just a second she offered Abby how she really felt, her defences down and vulnerability visible in her eyes. "She will return to you alive and well if it's the last thing I do."

 

It made Abby frown, a little. "What does that mean?"

 

Lexa just held her gaze and she tried as much as she could, as she was aware they were surrounded by Skaikru and members of the Coalition alike to get Abby to understand. "Trust me," she whispered and weirdly, or perhaps not weirdly at all Abby did and so the Chancellor nodded, trusting and believing that Lexa would keep her word.

 

They held the moment for just another few seconds before Lexa dropped her gaze and took half a step back, raising her chin and this time regarding Abby with the same stoic look she gave everyone. Her generals had now come to a stop just behind her and so Lexa knew it was time to leave.

 

"Reivon must have the weapons ready if this is to work," she told Abby flatly, and Abby simply nodded her consent.

 

"She will. I'll send her to you when she's done."

 

"Good," Lexa acknowledged before she started walking again, passed the gates of Camp Jaha and back to her tent.

 

**

 

Clarke felt like the walk lasted forever. She had tried to keep an eye out for anything noticeable so she might recognise where she was going if she should have a chance to escape but there was nothing. Just darkness, mostly, although she knew she was inside. She also knew the man from earlier was still behind her although he made no sound. It was eerie, if nothing else, as if she was being walked to her death or something but Clarke knew she wasn't; she was too valuable. Or least she hoped so.

 

"Hod op," the voice behind her suddenly announced, causing Clarke to stop immediately and almost jump out of her skin. She didn't, however, but her heartbeat definitely stepped up a few notches. "Wait here," he whispered in her ear as he rounded her, stepping forward to a large black door and knocking on it once.

 

"Min op," a voice then beckoned from within. It sounded decidedly like the Ice Queen.

 

The man looked at Clarke before he pushed open the door, standing before it expectantly in that slightly noble, elevated way of his. It was nothing on the way Lexa held herself, Clarke noted, but it was as if he thought himself higher than most.

 

Clarke quirked her brow as she pulled in a breath, pushing her shoulders back before she then walked passed him and into the room.

 

"Wanheda," Nia's voice came from somewhere in the darkness and it took a moment for Clarke's eyes to adjust to the dim light. There were a few candles situated along the walls of the room but they served little good and it was only when Nia stepped closer to her that Clarke could make her out.

 

It was fitting, Clarke thought, hiding away in the darkness like the coward Lexa said she was.

 

"I see you've met my son, Prince Roan of Azgeda."

 

Clarke's eyes widened slightly and then she turned to see the man who had escorted her there, standing with his back to the door and his hands crossed neatly in front of him. The regalness about him suddenly made sense and his lazy, subtle smirk remained on his lips as she looked him over. The sharpness of his features where similar to Nia's, the cut of his jaw and the angle of his nose which oddly bore some resemblance but didn't at the same time.

 

"He will make a fine King one day," Nia continued, making Clarke turn back to her. "But he still has a lot to learn." Her tone was utterly condescending and if it had been Abby Clarke would've immediately bit back a response but Roan remained quiet, obviously knowing better than to speak out against his mother. "Our great Commander took him from me for years," she carried on, the iciness in her eyes seeming to only grow colder. "Imprisoned him. Thought she could use him against me."

 

Nia grew angry then, turning before she marched over to the far wall and sat down on some hastily created mock-throne as if she were about to address her kingdom. "But she underestimated the true strength of a son of Azgeda." Her eyes flashed but instead of turning her gaze on her son she glared fiercely at Clarke instead. "Of _my_ son. He survived and came back to me, killing all those who tried to stand in his way."

 

Clarke's brow bounced up at that. If any of what Nia said was true the only reason he lived was because Lexa spared his life, nothing else. The Queen should feel lucky Lexa was nowhere near as bloodthirsty as she was, the story of Costia in comparison proved as much. She swallowed uneasily as Nia raised her chin, the pride she felt for her son only coming when she spoke of those he killed.

 

"Now he stands with me, where he belongs."

 

Clarke didn't care though, about whatever Roan did to reunite with his mother. All she was bothered about was the people he likely killed during his escape as they were Lexa's people. "Why are you telling me this?" she asked flatly, her eyes narrowed in disdain. "Why am I here?"

 

Nia pulled her lips into a smirk and the resemblance between her and Roan grew even stronger. "A history lesson," she responded quickly. "No doubt you have heard tales of me. You should know that Lexa too kidnaps those others hold dear, in order to get them to do what she wants."

 

Clarke raised her chin. She had to remember that she needed to buy time and if she could get Nia to trust her then, all the better. "I don't care about history," Clarke announced with as much exasperation as she could find. "I only care about what's good for my people."

 

Nia's brow furrowed a little, then. "You don't believe me to be the cruel, bloodthirsty, murdering villain _she_ likes to say I am?"

 

Clarke flashed her eyes. "You seem to be more bothered by that than me."

 

There was silence for a moment before Nia began to chuckle, her chest shaking as she released a calculated cackle that echoed around the dark, dingy room. "Oh Wanheda," she sighed. "Why do you lie to me?"

 

Clarke was surprised but she managed to hide it. She simply shrugged. "I'm not."

 

Nia licked her lips and then looked passed Clarke to her son who still stood guard just inside the door.

 

"The guards we left behind, to deliver the news of your abduction to the Commander were slaughtered," he began with a slight incline of his head, his voice deep and raspy which seemed almost to vibrate through the space between them. "One by one, by her own hand. There were no witnesses but, many Delfikru heard. They say she was manic," and then his voice somehow got even deeper. "Almost like a madwoman."

 

Clarke swallowed and it made her throat go painfully dry. She didn't want to know what Lexa was probably thinking. What turmoil she would be putting herself through.

 

"It would seem you mean an awful lot to her," the Ice Queen began again with a certain amount of sick pleasure laced in her tone. "For her to react in that way," and then she shrugged a little. "Wouldn't you say?"

 

Clarke dragged her gaze back to Nia and with every ounce of effort she could find, she forced her expression to stay calm. As if it mattered nothing to her how she was being used to do this to Lexa. To cause her this much pain.

 

Before she could speak however Nia rose from her throne and once more stepped closer to Clarke, continuing on in her little game like she was getting far too much enjoyment from it to stop. "Almost as if she was _afraid_ she might receive the head of her second love," she said as she took another step, "in a box," and then another, "at the side of her bed in that tower that you now know so well."

 

Inside she was screaming. Raging. Rampaging and she had no idea how her eyes didn't give her away. Nia was glaring into them as she waited, waited for any reaction that would prove Clarke to be the liar she accused her of being. It took an epic amount of resolve for her not to lash out, to not strike Nia down and kill her with whatever she could reach; her bare hands if necessary but instead she remained still. Somehow, inexplicably she remained still and after a moment Clarke straightened her posture and clenched her jaw, pushing out an impressively steady breath. "Perhaps," she uttered with a shrug, "but whatever I mean to her, she means nothing to me."

 

The statement hung there between them for quite a few moments, Nia's attention flicking from one blue eye to the other looking for that telltale weakness but to her surprise, she found none. Just a mirroring iciness and it honestly impressed her. "Hmmm," Nia murmured as she stepped back, freeing Clarke from her scrutiny for the time being. "Regardless," she eventually followed up with. "She will still come for you, and then our great Commander will meet her death."

 

Clarke quirked a brow, the speed in which her mind worked impressing even herself. "And that's the way you want it, is it?" she started quickly, jumping on a sudden impulse. "The clans loyal to Lexa stronger than ever, working together to avenge her death."

 

Nia tilted her head expectantly, interested in where this was going.

 

Clarke then considered something else. "And what about me?"

 

"What about you?" Nia scoffed.

 

"You think Skaikru won't want revenge for taking me? It's not just Lexa and the Coalition you're up against," Clarke then lowered her voice for dramatic effect. "You have no idea the power of Skaikru weapons." Clarke took the step forward this time, getting more and more confident with her story as she spun it. "How do you know Lexa isn't plotting with my Chancellor right now?"

 

"The Commander knows she must give herself up-"

 

Clarke took another step. "-If you think that you're a fool," she hissed as she noticed the venom seep back into Nia's expression. "The Commander won't give up without a fight."

 

"Enough!" Nia growled and it made even the guards outside in the hallway flinch. The Ice Queen held herself as stiff as a board like she wanted to make herself tower above Clarke even more. "Lexa _will_ surrender herself or you _will_ die." She glared daggers into Clarke's eyes as if she was daring her to interrupt again. "And if she doubts that then _she_ is the fool. As are you."

 

Clarke broke eye contact first and she felt herself deflate a little, the confidence evaporating from the proud set of her shoulders. She was stuck in a hole here, and she needed to remember that.

 

"Okay," Clarke said quietly after an uneasy silence, with a subtle nod of her head. "Okay," she sighed as she swallowed. Nia grinned at her sardonically, enjoying the sound of Wanheda agreeing with her. "Having my people on your side will benefit you, however," Clarke attempted, not willing to give in just yet. "You know that."

 

Nia's grin grew even wider, at that. She sat down once again in her throne. "And now the best part," she gloated. "The great Wanheda begging me to form an alliance."

 

Clarke smirked a little herself. "Not a chance," she scoffed, and then her expression turned hard. "Kill me, go ahead," she challenged, catching Nia a little off guard. "You see what that does. My people have guns, bombs. Rockets. You remember the ring of fire that burned three-hundred of Lexa's army to death like that," she said as she snapped her fingers, easily earning Nia's attention with that sentence. "You may be able to kill Lexa with your plan but you won't defeat her people with it, and you certainly won't defeat mine."

 

Nia thought about it. "Without their Commander they will fall."

 

"Eventually," Clarke nodded. "After another war."

 

Nia's interest was piqued because really, Wanheda did have a point. As much as she loved a good war there was something to be said about waging one unnecessarily. Marching her _entire_ army from Azgeda wasn't an easy task either, for that matter.

 

Clarke stepped forward. "With my people and my weapons," she held her hand up and clicked her fingers. "Wipe them out like that."

 

Nia furrowed her brow and then cocked her head fully to the side, knowing this was something she couldn't ignore. "Alright," she sighed after a moment or so, completely to Clarke's surprise. The Queen narrowed her eyes. "You have earned yourself an audience."

 

Clarke sucked in a breath, utterly amazed that she had somehow managed to talk herself into, something.

 

Nia gestured out in front of her with her hand. "Go on then," she announced, getting herself a little more comfortable where she sat. "What do you propose?"

 

Clarke's eyebrow flashed up and she swallowed again, even more uncomfortably this time. This was going to be interesting.

 

**

 

Pius arrived in the early hours of the morning, the sky a deep black with only a scattering of stars providing scant illumination. The air was still as if the world knew what was coming. As if the atmosphere itself had taken on the demeanour of its inhabitants' leader.

 

Pius stood quite away from Lexa's tent with his fingers interlinked behind his back, his shoulders set back in contemplation of how things would possibly go tomorrow. Either Nia would be dead, or Lexa would be and the latter of the two made him feel like he didn't want to live. Not without his Heda.

 

Since their conversation in Lexa's throne room in Polis tower about her feelings for Clarke and what that could mean for the future of both Lexa _and_ their people, Pius had come to the realisation that he would follow her into fiery armageddon without a second thought. Not just Heda, which was his duty but her, Lexa, and therefore he would fight her corner to the end.

 

It didn't stop the rational side of his brain however. Pius was far too used to separating feelings from duty for him to be able to justify completely the choice Lexa could possibly make, to save Clarke's life. He found it very difficult to accept, to be honest, but his love for his young student and her all-encompassing desire to create peace for everyone, no matter the cost was hard to argue against.

 

He couldn't help but be worried, though, because their world without Lexa in to lead them would fall into chaos, he was certain, and there was no one ready to take her place. Even if there was, he thought, there would still be no comparison. He had spoken with Lexa a few hours earlier but not many words were exchanged. He already knew her position before he arrived and although he did try a little, she was adamant in her course of action and by the steel in her will he knew all he could do was support her.

 

And therein lay his problem. He knew he would do everything in his power to support her but he knew he must also ensure she lived.

 

"Without her the Coalition will fall," he sighed with a rather large sense of hopelessness.

 

Luna had come to stand beside him and if anyone knew that was true, she certainly did.

 

Pius angled his jaw a little as he carried on talking, tilting it marginally in Luna's direction. "All of our work, everything since she became Heda, will be lost."

 

Luna of course knew that too, and all she could do was exhale a defeated breath as well.

 

After a moment Pius turned toward Luna, half-heartedly trying to rally some kind of resistance. "We cannot allow that to happen."

 

Luna smiled a little as her eyes fell to the ground. She had never really got on with Pius and for most of her life she had been fiercely opposed to everything he stood for. Not the theology, but the practice. It was his job to shape and guide Heda, steeping them in the history and objectives of what had come before rather than let them forge their own path. "She was always much more than just your puppet, Pius."

 

Pius instantly took offence, at that. "I never wanted her to be."

 

She didn't believe him for a second. She raised a brow as she looked at him. "You sure of that?"

 

Pius glared at her, his eyes old and expression tired as he struggled to respond. Lexa wanted the same things he did, she always had.

 

Luna carried on regardless. "Lexa has delivered peace, for the longest time our people have ever known."

 

Pius nodded. "It was her wish."

 

"As it was yours." Luna didn't intend to become confrontational but something in her couldn't help it. Pius really did infuriate her. "You finally found a novitiate who shared your beliefs and desires. Not just someone who wanted to rule and command for their own benefit and power." She paused for a moment. "What if the next one shouldn't share your beliefs?"

 

Pius became a little confrontational, too. "You do not think we have done good work here? You of all people should know the desire for peace."

 

"Yes," Luna agreed wholeheartedly. "But I can't do what is needed to achieve it."

 

That was something they could both firmly agree on. There hadn't been another leader who was prepared to sacrifice what Lexa had for the sake of peace. Perhaps there never would be. "That's why she is special."

 

Luna nodded minutely. "Some might say cursed," she said lowly.

 

Pius pulled in a breath as he tried to keep the conversation on track. "Her work is not done, Luna," he said firmly. "We must impart this desire for peace onto our people. Show them how life can be without the constant need for violence. Teach our future Commander's the importance of peace."

 

Luna raised another brow. "And what is necessary to maintain it."

 

There was a pause.

 

"Yes."

 

Luna looked at Pius once more. "And for this you need Lexa."

 

Pius returned her look and for the first time relaxed his expression. "We all need her."

 

Luna nodded and pulled her lips into a thin line. She needed Lexa too, but to admit so would be selfish. "At some point, Pius, you must be prepared to let her go. As I said, she is not your puppet."

 

Pius pushed out a breath. "The difference is, she would be fine without me," he confessed, knowing that the only life that mattered in all this was the one who could lead their people through both the best and the worst of times, and that person wasn't him. "Our people would be fine without me. Our people will not be fine without her. She is _not_ expendable."

 

Luna thought for a moment. "She knows that."

 

Pius raised a brow. He wasn't so sure about that anymore, not after Clarke so he had no idea how Luna could be sure of it.

 

"As you said," Luna began, "Lexa is special. She knows what she is, and she knows she _must_ rule. Her duty is far too deeply ingrained in her to allow her to do anything else, as much as she may wish to." It actually hurt her heart to admit that, to know that Lexa was aware of it too. No matter how many times Lexa told herself what she would no longer sacrifice, it just wasn't in her being to not do the best thing for her people.

 

"I hope you are right."

 

Luna swallowed hoarsely. "I am."

 

**

 

_Abby wasn't sure what was going on. Just that she had witnessed some sort of.. **something** going on between her daughter and the Commander during a very tense strategy meeting, backed up by Clarke's very elusive answers to her questions afterwards outside of Lexa's tent and now Dax was escorting her somewhere in the woods. It was unnerving to say the least but logic told Abby that she wasn't in any danger. Doing away with the Skaikru Chancellor in the dead of night on the eve of battle with Azgeda would surely be the worst move Lexa could make._

_Abby shook her head. Lexa. 'We became, closer,' Clarke had said, and the words hadn't stopped repeating in her overactive mind since. What was Clarke thinking? Surely 'close' didn't mean.. but then Abby remembered the look on the Commander's face when she interrupted her and Clarke's conversation, whisking her away inside for God only knew what reason._

_Abby had to clear her throat. The relationship between her daughter and Lexa was becoming more and more apparent with every step she took through the dense woodland and the more she tried not to think about it, the more her mind forced her to. After the war, Abby considered, maybe she could talk Clarke out of it. Maybe she could make her see. Lexa was the Commander who left Skaikru to die on the Mountain. The person who left Clarke there to die.. why wasn't Clarke remembering that? How could she trust her?_

_If Lexa was using Clarke in any way then Abby would kill her herself._

_"Hod op," she heard Dax order and then all of a sudden Abby found herself face to face with the subject of her erratic thoughts._

_Abby was startled, but not surprised. "Commander," she breathed in greeting, but all Lexa did was raise her chin and pin the Chancellor in her unwavering gaze. Clearly this was going to be all business, Abby supposed, but then speaking with Lexa was never anything else._

_"The Ice Queen is a formidable enemy," Lexa announced although her voice was low, and somehow managing to dissipate in the winds that swirled around them. "She will be ready," Lexa continued, "as we must be."_

_"I assure you we are very ready for tomorrow, Commander, if that's what you're asking."_

_This was difficult for Lexa, as difficult a conversation she had ever had with someone she barely knew. With someone she knew didn't like or trust her but if Lexa knew anything, it was how to be direct. "I bring you here to discus Clarke," and then all of a sudden the air around them seemed to freeze and Clarke's name hung there between them, like it was the one thing that could unite or divide them for eternity._

_Abby's eyes narrowed. "What about Clarke?" she asked carefully._

_Lexa took a breath and then powered on. "Tomorrow she wishes to fight-"_

_"-I know." Pause. "Trying to stop her though won't do any good."_

_"Yes. She is very stubborn."_

_Abby grinned a bit, and Lexa looked at her as if she was more than aware where she got it from. "What are you suggesting?"_

_Lexa sighed. "Tomorrow she wishes to lead a group of your people along with Marcus Kane to circle around us and attack the Azgeda army from the rear."_

_"I'm aware. This has all been discussed."_

_"I wish to remove Clarke from the mission altogether."_

_There was nothing Abby would like more, but there was no way Clarke would agree to that. Her eyes widened as it dawned on her. "With force? You want to betray her like that?"_

_Lexa swallowed knowing she risked everything with Clarke if she did this but with little time remaining she had no other choice. "It is the only way to keep her safe."_

_Abby sighed. "Look, there's nothing I'd like more," she began but then paused as a question struck her. "Why are you telling me all this?"_

_Lexa just squared her jaw. "Clarke will be sent across our encampment before the battle begins to the east ridge where she will think her people are. They will need to know she will not be joining them."_

_Abby smirked a little, appreciating the idea but unconvinced nonetheless. "I appreciate you wanting to keep her safe but she will never forgive us, either of us, if we deceive her like this."_

_Lexa was at a crossroads. She couldn't bear to show any weakness but she also knew the truth would carry more weight. The Sky People appreciated that, she knew, and if Clarke had taught her anything it was that they valued an open heart over all else. But it was uncomfortable, and it prickled at Lexa's skin for the personal frailty that it was._

_The Commander dipped her chin and fidgeted just once before she_ _confessed to the first part with much trepidation. "Chancellor," she began as quietly as she could, her chin now back square and her expression as impassive as she could possibly make it. To the point, Lexa told herself. Just get to the point. "The last person with whom I shared a bed, and my heart, Nia took from me in order to learn my secrets."_

_Abby was immediately taken aback. Stunned, really, to say the least and it took a few long moments for her to process what the Commander was saying. Not only had she confessed to the nature of her relationship with Clarke in one easy sentence but it appeared that Lexa was also trusting her with this. She used the word 'heart' so, did the Commander just admit to being in love with her daughter as well? Did Clarke love her in return?_

_Before Abby could ponder it fully Lexa carried on talking, sucking in a deep breath before she delivered something much more excruciating. "She tortured her," Lexa said, not half as matter-of-factly as she'd hoped and the emotion she felt cracked open on the last part. "Cut off her head and then returned it to me. In a box at my bedside."_

_Abby just blinked, not being able to believe a word of what she was being told. Lexa's motives all of sudden seemed more than justifiable and Abby's problem was no longer that the person in front of her was sleeping with her daughter, nor in fact that she may even love her but instead that Lexa entered into a relationship with Clarke, knowing that this might be the result._

_Lexa carried on, her eyes glazing over as her heart became like steel within her chest. It was the familiar way in which she dealt with things like this. The only way she could. "She will show no mercy. She is brutal, unjust and unfeeling." Lexa swallowed and it hurt as she forced a breath out through her nose before she looked at Abby squarely and decisively. "You think these things of me however you do not yet know Azgeda." She took a step closer to the Chancellor and willed her to believe her, to trust her, in this if in nothing else. "Nia is here," she promised darkly. "She is not stupid. She will know where Clarke spends her nights."_

_Abby was struggling to process it all, the image of what Lexa just described at the forefront of her mind but with Clarke's severed head in the box instead. It was horrendous and she had to pull her gaze away, squeeze her eyes shut and pray the scene away. She couldn't believe it. Something so barbaric it was insane, and all uttered from the lips of a teenager. How could someone so young have been through so much and still be standing there, the leader of twelve clans?_

_Abby had to shake her head. She didn't know what to feel. She felt sympathy for Lexa as much as she blamed her for putting Clarke in this position in the first place but when she looked at her, and gazed into those conflicted, emotional, ageless eyes she knew that the Commander already knew it. She already blamed herself._

_Lexa's jaw clenched as she seemed to become impatient for Abby to form a response. Her eyes grew firmer and her demeanour a little more rigid, the grit in her teeth apparent. "I will not let it happen to Clarke," she whispered, her steely tone carrying outward on the silent breeze._

_And there it was, Abby pondered for a second, something they could finally agree on. "Good," she responded quickly. "There is no way I would put her in danger either."_

_Lexa was relieved and her chest actually relaxed a little, then._

_"What does Clarke think of all this?" Abby wondered aloud, making Lexa quirk up a brow in question. "She must know of what happened..." she trailed off, trying to be delicate and Lexa just nodded in response. "So she knew the risks?" Lexa nodded again and Abby rolled her eyes a little. "Sounds like Clarke."_

_Silence ensued for a moment, both of them with their thoughts fixed on the same blonde._

_"Okay," Abby voiced eventually, her eyes slowly meeting the Commander's gaze. She didn't like it, but she knew it was the best way to keep Clarke safe and then she lowered her voice, adding some grit of her own to it for good measure._ _"But if anything happens to her, I will hold you accountable."_

_Lexa was expecting a threat of some sort, and out of respect she thought she would entertain it because she knew exactly what was at stake. "I know."_

_Abby narrowed her eyes, not quite done in her threatening just yet, however. "And then you really will have a war on your hands."_

_Although Lexa felt respect for Abby to some degree, it didn't mean she would let her get away with speaking out of turn. She was the Commander after all, and the very fact they were having this conversation was out of her own good graces. "Chancellor, you are here at my invitation," she warned. "I tell you this as a courtesy, nothing more."_

_Abby's brow went up, at that. "So what if I didn't agree?" she asked, feeling suddenly a little combative. "You'd carry out this plan anyway?"_

_Lexa was defiant. She raised her jaw as she did her voice. "You do agree, so the question is moot."_

_Abby scoffed a little, clearly getting carried away with herself. Perhaps there was a benefit to Clarke 'dating' the Commander after all. It meant there was no way Lexa would hurt her, or so she hoped. "Remember this," Abby boasted. "Skaikru will not bend to anyone's rule, not the Ice Queen's, and not yours. Clarke cannot be used for you can gain an advantage over us, understand?"_

_If the situation wasn't so serious Lexa may have laughed at how ludicrous Abby was being. Lexa respected Clarke more than she respected anyone and the idea of using her for anything was ridiculous. "You are naive, Chancellor," Lexa forced, noting how even her guards were fidgeting uneasily at how she was being spoken to. "To think you can survive without the need of an alliance. My alliance," she clarified. "You're people are alive because I allow it. You will do well to remember that."_

_"And we all know how you treat alliances," Abby replied flippantly._

_Lexa knew this conversation was at an end. Clarke would be protected and she had the Chancellor's agreement, that was all she came for and she knew whatever else was said wasn't likely to achieve anything. Their dialogue needed to end before Abby said something irresponsible in front of her guards and Lexa would be forced to react to it._

_"This meeting is over," Lexa said flatly, not even deeming Abby's last sentence fit for a response. She inclined her head minutely. "Ensure you do what we discussed."_

_"Oh I will," Abby said with a sigh, her mind still awash with what she had learned._

_Lexa pushed her shoulders back, her grip firmly around her dagger at her hip. She glanced at two of her guards that were positioned behind Abby. "You will be escorted back to Camp Jaha."_

_Lexa then turned around and began to walk away, Dax immediately behind her with three other guards bringing up the rear._

_Abby remained where she stood, however, knowing she was pushing it but she carried on nevertheless. "If it came down to it," she started, and it made Lexa stop walking. "Really, is there anything you wouldn't sacrifice for the good of your Coalition?" Lexa turned to Abby then, the expression on her face as impassive as ever. It was the very thing that worried the Chancellor, especially in light of their conversation. "Is there anyone you wouldn't sacrifice?"_

_Lexa swallowed heavily as she held Abby's gaze. It was obvious what she was asking and it was just as obvious what Lexa's answer had to be. "I will do what I must," she replied hoarsely before she turned and started walking again. Back to her tent, and back to Clarke._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Translations. **
> 
> **Ouskejou.**   
>  _Blue Cliff Clan_
> 
> **Delfikru.**   
>  _Delphi Clan._
> 
> **"Chil yu daun."**   
>  _"Stand down, all of you."_
> 
> **Azgeda.**   
>  _Ice Nation._
> 
> **Trikru.**   
>  _Tree People._
> 
> **Skaikru.**   
>  _Sky People._
> 
> **"Hod op."**   
>  _"Stop."_
> 
> **"Min op."**   
>  _"Enter."_


	19. naintin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven and Dax get a little closer, even if it is a bit strained as Raven feels the pressure. Clarke tries to keep up her bluff while Lexa gets her viciousness on looking for her. Pius and Abby have a chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Here we go with chapter 19 - the last time AO3 will be updated after ff.net, they will be updated at the same time from now on. Thanks to everyone who reads BtB over here, I hope you continue on with the story :)
> 
> Thanks as always for the comments and kudos, and those of you who message me privately here, on [twitter](http://twitter.com/talented_gemx) or on [tumblr](http://talentedgemx.tumblr.com). It's much appreciated and always great hearing what you think of this fic, good or bad ;) Please keep on letting me know!
> 
> Remember flashbacks are in italics :) and if you fancy a totally awesome Lexa warpaint bumper/window sticker grab one [here](https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/523089274/commander-lexa-inspired-warpaint?ref=shop_home_active_1)!

"Goddamnit!" Raven yelled, throwing her screwdriver across the room before she ran her hands over her head. If she had the will-power or the time she'd get up and pace furiously but she knew her leg would probably give way beneath her.

 

She was exhausted, not being able to remember the last time she got more than a couple of hours sleep and now she was working flat out on extremely delicate and complicated compounds. She was practically running on empty but the Commander needed these weapons ready and she wasn't about to let her down. It wasn't in her vocabulary and besides, this was for _Clarke_.

 

"Have patience, Raven," Dax murmured from somewhere behind her but in lieu of any coherent response all he got was a strangled and immensely frustrated-sounding growl that she let rip from her lips. Dax found and picked up her screwdriver and carried it back over to her, placing it down in front of her on the workbench. "You will get it done."

 

Raven scoffed as loud as she could and then threw him an antagonistic glare. "Really?" she spat. "You're giving me advice now?"

 

Dax sighed, holding her gaze for just a moment before he dropped it and then took the few steps to his seat which was on the other side of her bench. He had been working with her all evening, or as much as he could anyway seeing as he didn't really understand weapons construction. He was a quick study though and obviously could follow instructions well otherwise he wouldn't make a very good general. What he needed to do now though was calm Raven down who had been getting more and more agitated as the evening wore on.

 

However she wasn't making it easy. She was undoubtedly the most aggressive and brilliant woman he had ever met. Her mind so technical as proved by her ability to conjure up weapons in just a few hours. She amazed him, but also frustrated him beyond belief.

 

At his silence Raven pressed on. " _You_ , grounder, to _me_ , talented mechanic when you have no idea how bombs work."

 

Dax met her gaze with narrowed eyes. "They explode."

 

After a moment Raven sneered and whereas she did appreciate his sarcasm she wasn't about to cut him any slack. "Oh yeah," she said as she rolled her eyes. "Genius."

 

Dax leaned across her bench, then. "I am here to help you."

 

Raven picked up her screwdriver and took her focus back to the device in front of her. "If by 'help' you mean annoying the shit outta me then you're doing a fantastic job." She raised her eyebrows. "Top marks."

 

Dax dropped his eyes to the materials that scattered the bench between them and even more so out to the sides, as well as the discarded pieces on the floor. Anger and sarcasm were clearly her outlets for the whirlwind of information that must be a constant in her mind, he had reasoned over the course of the evening and early morning. Arguing would get him nowhere.

 

"From what I have seen bomb-making is a delicate task-"

 

"-No shit," Raven mumbled.

 

Dax looked at her. "Anger will not help."

 

Raven stopped what she was doing and stared rigidly at the bomb she was working on, her grip on her screwdriver going white-knuckled. "No," she responded after a moment with a flash of her eyes, her penetrating glare reaching his eyes quickly. "It won't." She forced her tools down and then stood from the bench, pushing herself away a stride or two. "Why don't you take over," she gestured forcibly and then added sarcastically, "master of philosophy?"

 

Dax remained calm, knowing the outburst would come and understanding that she had to have it. "I cannot."

 

"That's right!" she fumed, "You can't! No one can." She turned and put her hands on her hips, her voice going a little quiet and strained. "Just me." She had felt pressure before, many times, but it seemed the more everyone seemed to depend on her the more she seemed to feel it. She wanted a break away from everything. She _needed_ one, but she knew there was no way she could.

 

Dax let her have a few moments, remaining still in his seat as he watched her, a tightly wound coil that was only getting tighter. He made sure his voice was as calm as he could make it. "Tell me how I can help you."

 

That didn't seem to help, however.

 

She spun around and took half a step back to her bench. "How about telling your Commander not to involve us in this war?" She suggested as she stumbled forward and fell into her seat, her forehead falling into her palms. "Maybe then Clarke wouldn't have been taken."

 

He felt like reaching out to her, holding her, comforting her in that way but he suspected it wouldn't be welcomed. He was a little shocked by his automatic desire to offer such a thing, really, and he quickly shook the idea out of his head. He sat forward a little in his chair but didn't invade her space. "Clarke would've been valuable to Nia either way," he said softly. "She defeated the Mountain."

 

"Yeah," Raven slurred as she breathed out heavily, straightening up where she sat. "Your Commander's fault, again."

 

Dax held his tongue for a moment as he regarded Raven curiously and then he tilted his head to the side. "Did you believe you would fall to the ground and it would be yours?" he asked honestly. "Just like that?"

 

That stumped Raven and she was suddenly lost for words. She thought about being defensive, then about going on the offensive and then she wondered, what would be the point of that? In the end she just shrugged. "Honesty?" she pondered and then Dax nodded his head. "That is what my people thought."

 

Dax grinned a little. "That does not surprise me. Skaikru behave as if they own the Earth."

 

There was silence for a moment before he continued as he really wanted her to hear him. "You fell on the lands of the Coalition, Raven kom Skaikru, where a delicate peace had just been formed after decades of war." He stared at her then, not aggressively but honestly as he said his next words. "Perhaps somewhere else would have been better, for us all."

 

Raven ran her tongue over the front of her teeth, not wanting a lecture but also knowing that he did have a point. "Yeah well," she mumbled. "As I said, we weren't expecting to find you here."

 

For a moment Dax tried to imagine what it would be like if Skaikru hadn't come to Earth. Would relations within the Coalition be any better? Would the war with Azgeda still be about to commence? He wasn't sure if he'd like a world without Raven in it now that he had spent some time with her but then he shook those thoughts away too, pointless as they were. He quickly carried on with his point. "And when you did you thought we would give up our land and bow down to those from the sky. Let you command us and erase our way of life?"

 

Raven shook her head, now feeling a little awkward. "No," she replied and then she strengthened her voice, not enjoying being put on the back foot. "We just wanted to be left in peace."

 

Dax smiled. "As did we."

 

Raven sighed as she brought her hand up to rub the side of her thumb against her brow. She was just so tired, and just as sick of battling as Clarke was. Her face fell a little, then, as she thought of Clarke. She wished she hadn't argued so much with her and she hoped like hell that they'd get her back. "I just didn't think it would be like this," she said as her shoulders slumped and she shook her head. "War. Death."

 

Dax chose that moment to lean forward on her bench. "It will get better," he tried to reassure her, his lips finding a smile when she finally met his gaze.

 

After a moment she smiled a little, too, wanting to believe him but not quite being able to. "You think?"

 

"Yes."

 

She then leaned on the bench, too. "So my job won't always be so important in saving everyone's life?" she asked as her smirk came back, along with her trademark cockiness.

 

Dax smiled properly and then leaned back in his chair. "Depends if you keep being so good at it."

 

That made her laugh and it actually made her feel a little better, for a moment. She regarded him briefly and then took in a breath. "So, what comes next, master philosopher? Are you really telling me this is the last war?"

 

Dax shrugged albeit lightly. "That depends."

 

"On?"

 

"Who is the next to challenge Heda's rule."

 

Raven rolled her eyes, still not on Lexa's page at all. "Ah the great, magnificent Heda."

 

Dax's tone became lower, then. "I have told you before about regarding Heda in that way," he warned, eying her carefully.

 

Raven began fiddling with her screwdriver between her fingers. "Will the earth open up and swallow me whole?" She was teasing, of course, but Dax still pinned her with his gaze.

 

He straightened his shoulders. "Perhaps it is far more likely someone will simply kill you."

 

Raven grinned again really just playing with him now. "That someone being you, huh?"

 

Dax nodded his head as he folded his arms over his chest. "If you insist on being disrespectful."

 

She shrugged then, sucking in a breath through her teeth. "I just don't trust her-"

 

"-I trust her implicitly."

 

Raven glared at him a little in return, taken aback by the intensity in his eyes. He really did love his Commander, that was plainly clear. "The only person I trust is Clarke."

 

"Then perhaps you should trust Heda, as Clarke does."

 

Raven sighed and glanced away, tilting her head to the side and stretching out her neck.

 

"If the only thing you truly desire is peace," Dax pressed on, "then _she_ is the only one who can deliver it."

 

Raven raised a brow. "Says who?"

 

Dax raised his, too. "One hundred years of history," he replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and then he became utterly serious. "You are on our lands, Raven. With our culture and our way of life. There is no one who can bring together warring clans, no one who can make people who have known nothing but death believe they can live in peace, but _her_. Trust her as I do and she will deliver it. Oppose her and invite war upon yourself."

 

Raven swallowed as Dax took in a breath, the sincerity in his words crashing into her all at once. At any other time she would probably make a snide remark, a sarcastic comment but instead she just listened, and slowly nodded her head. "Well I guess in the coming weeks we'll see."

 

It was only when she smiled, fully and properly that he understood it wasn't a retaliatory comment. Her lips curled up and for the first time since he'd known her he could tell she was being completely genuine. He could see it in her eyes.

 

Dax mirrored her smile and then he sighed once more, glancing back down at the materials on her bench. "As long as Heda wins. If not Nia will bring even more war, even more death."

 

Raven sucked in a breath herself and then immediately got back to work. "Then shut up and help me with these bombs," she ordered curtly.

 

It made Dax smile again. "Sha tekepa."

 

**//**

 

"The weapons are ready.. Heda," Raven announced as she limped into Lexa's tent with an example of each of her hastily made weapons bundled in her arms. Raven wasn't one for standing on ceremony, and she wasn't about to wait for the okay to walk in and put the new explosive devices on the table when she was just as likely to fall over and explode one killing them both.

 

She was certain that wouldn't go down well at all.

 

"Good," Lexa replied as she turned to face her and then eyes the weapons carefully, tilting her head a little as she took note of Raven's exhausted and pained expression. The limp was much worse than usual but the thought quickly vanished from the Commander as she approached the table and got a closer look at the weapons.

 

If Raven was honest she still didn't like the Commander, and of course she didn't trust her but her opinion had softened a little since her talk with Dax and really, if she cared about Clarke then that was one massive thing they had in common. Not that she had time to be considering it right then, or anything.

 

Raven coughed and wiped her hands against her hips a couple times before she picked up the first device. "This is a grenade," she said as she turned and looked at Lexa. It made her pause for a moment, not really having seen the Commander up close before and definitely never alone. She really did look awful but then Raven quickly got back to the matter in hand. "Pull this pin and throw it, it'll explode after ten seconds," she paused, "give or take. Be careful though, the pin must stay attached. If it comes lose and you're holding it..." she caught Lexa's eye for a moment and then she shrugged. "Well holding anything ever again will be the least of your worries."

 

Lexa frowned for a second and then nodded, assuming that was sky-person speak for she'd be dead. She raised an eyebrow, impressed that such a small object could cause such destruction.

 

"This'll also explode," Raven continued as she placed the grenade down and picked up weapon number two. "But needs to be detonated, like at the mountain." It was out before she could stop it and her eyes met Lexa's briefly before she pulled them away again. She swallowed and pressed on. "Put in on a door, rocks, whatever. It'll blow a hole in anything. It'll need a burning arrow to detonate, like at the..." Raven sighed, she really was tired and suddenly wished she'd let Dax come with her, like he'd wanted.

 

"The Mountain," Lexa finished for her. It was just a whisper and Lexa stared at the weapon with wide eyes that seemed vacant, as if they were suddenly somewhere else.

 

"Right," Raven responded, clearing her throat a little and thankfully it pulled Lexa from her thoughts. Raven just licked her lips and picked up the last device. "And this," she said with a proud smile, "well, it's still just a prototype. I didn't have time to test it properly."

 

"What will it do?"

 

"It's a surface mine." That made Lexa look at her. "It'll explode like the others, but when its stepped on. So if you can line a corridor with them or something, get warriors to chase after you, leave a narrow path at the edge for you to step around them. The warriors will run into them and boom!" She gestured with her free hand to the side of her and spread her fingers out wide. "Bye bye bad guys."

 

Lexa was impressed. She nodded her head gently and let herself feel for a moment some of Raven's excitement.

 

"They'll need a steady hand to set them," Raven continued. "Dax knows how. He's out there briefing everyone now."

 

"Good," Lexa responded, casting her eyes over the weapons one last time. She then turned to Raven. "You have done excellent work, Raven. Thank you."

 

Raven let the sentiment pass over her. "Well no need to thank me," she said flatly before she met Lexa's gaze. "Just bring Clarke home safe."

 

Lexa nodded. "I intend to."

 

She said it with such reverence that Raven actually believed her, and she couldn't help but remember the things Dax had told her the night before. A part of her felt sorry for the Commander, if she was honest, but then she sucked it up and hardened her expression once more.

 

Dax chose that moment to walk in, sparing them from any impending awkwardness or arguments. "Heda-"

 

Lexa turned to him. "You are confident you can use these weapons?" she asked, getting straight to the point. She was anxious for them to move out. She needed to find Clarke and now it was set in motion the adrenaline pumping within her for Nia's blood was starting to take over.

 

"Yes," he replied confidently. "They are being distributed between the five groups now."

 

"We depart in one hour."

 

"We will be ready, Heda."

 

Lexa glared at him sternly. This was it, and he knew it as much as she did. By the end of the next few days either Nia would be dead, or she would be. It was a sobering thought but she was as ready for her death as she was to wake up tomorrow and lead thirteen clans instead of twelve. What would happen would happen; all they could do now was proceed.

 

Lexa clenched her jaw. "Oversee the weapons distribution," she instructed her general.

 

Dax nodded. "Yes, Heda."

 

"And make sure I have some of these," Lexa finished as she picked up the hand grenade.

 

"Yes, Heda."

 

It made Raven smirk; those were her favourites, too. "Just remember that pin," she said as she pointed her finger at it. "I don't want to be the reason you get blown up and we all become Ice Nation..." she trailed off as Lexa glared at her and Dax went a little wide-eyed. "...Heda," she coughed, dropping her eyes to the table.

 

Lexa's eyebrow flicked up. "I will," she nodded, and then she walked out of the tent as she tucked the grenade into her belt. She didn't get far however before she was confronted by Bellamy.

 

It made her roll her eyes.

 

"I'm coming with you," he said as he fell into step beside her.

 

Lexa worked hard to keep her face straight. "You are not."

 

He pulled on her arm making her stop and the two guards that were flanking her went to draw their weapons. She stopped them though as she flicked her palm up and then she glared at Bellamy, his hand slowly dropping from her arm and he swallowed rather apprehensively before he spoke. "I want to be there when you find Clarke."

 

Lexa assumed by the sudden wariness in his eyes that this was his way; actions before words and before rational thought. She pushed out a sharp breath through her nose as she wondered how long she would put up with his blatant disregard for the world in which he now lived. Without Clarke around she knew it wouldn't be much time at all. "You will join Luna and her warriors," she replied curtly as her eyes moved over him. "You have accompanied her before. She will have just as much chance of discovering Clarke as I do."

 

Bellamy scoffed. "You expect me to believe that-"

 

"-I do not care what you believe," she replied flippantly, cutting him off with no care at all. "Those are my orders. Follow them or remain behind." She went to move away but he reached for her arm again.

 

"I don't trust that-"

 

"-Enough!" she growled fiercely, her calm demeanour evaporating like a drop of water on a scorching summers day. Her tone was suddenly heavy, dark and threatening. She had no patience for this, and if he continued she'd have no trouble in ordering his arrest. "Each group will need members of Skaikru for their knowledge of Raven's weapons. I suggest you familiarise yourself with them and report to Luna."

 

He didn't seem appeased however but before he could mutter a word Lexa stepped closer to him, right into his personal space so he could _feel_ her words as well as hear them. "Challenge me again and I will have no desire in preventing my guards from beating you beyond repair."

 

Her words vibrated through Bellamy and although he was looking down at her he still couldn't help the shuddering he felt in his chest. He straightened his shoulders as much in a show of confidence more than anything else. "Clarke wouldn't like that," he murmured quietly.

 

Her eyes just grew wider as she recalled their exchange of words from a few days ago. "Clarke isn't here," she replied just as quietly and then she took a step back. "You have had enough warnings. Do as I say or you _will_ know the consequences."

 

Raven and Dax then left Lexa's tent, only getting as far as a few steps before they saw what was happening between Lexa and Bellamy in front of them. Dax was immediately angry at how close he was to the Commander and Raven's eyes went wide in surprise.

 

Lexa saw them both out of the corner of her eye but she remained firm and pressed Bellamy for his submission. "Do I make myself clear?" she asked in a much louder voice.

 

Bellamy's jaw rippled beneath the surface of his skin but he realised he was cornered here. "Yes," he responded rather irritably. "Heda," he finished and for a moment there was a standoff, the two of them glaring at each other until finally Bellamy broke eye contact.

 

But still no one moved.

 

"Bell..." Raven whispered after a second or two, knowing very well that everyone could hear her. "What the hell are you doing?"

 

Eventually Bellamy took a step back, turning to face Raven and only then did Lexa reanimate herself.

 

"Dax, mafta ai op," she instructed her general before turning on her heel and striding off followed closely by Dax who conveniently shoulder bumped Bellamy, and her guard detail.

 

Raven watched them go letting out a long sigh before she moved over to Bellamy. "Are you nuts?"

 

Bellamy had his hands on his hips and was shaking his head at the ground. "I'm the only sane one here."

 

"Oh God," Raven said as she rolled her eyes. "Not this again." Honestly she wasn't in the mood for it and so she limped in the direction of her workshop.

 

It didn't take much for Bellamy to catch her up. "I thought you'd be the last person to follow her," he accused, "after Finn."

 

That stopped her dead. She spun around as much as she could and grimaced at him. "I am _not_ following her," she fumed, her expression all kinds of disgruntled. "This is different, this is for _Clarke_."

 

"C'mon, Raven," Bellamy sighed, "you really think she cares about getting Clarke back?"

 

Much of her conversation with Dax from that morning rolled through her mind. She still wasn't convinced about Lexa but strangely enough she was getting convinced about the general himself. "Yes," she nodded honestly. "I do."

 

Bellamy scoffed. Loudly. He didn't know though, did he, everything Dax had told her but even so, Bellamy was being an ass at the most inopportune time. She sighed but this time it was a little lighter. "Look, Bell. You have to trust me on this. Clarke is Lexa's first priority."

 

He wasn't in the mood for listening, however. "All _she_ cares about is fighting Azgeda and killing Nia," he announced as he gestured in the direction Lexa went in. "And using our weapons to do it."

 

That made Raven raise an eyebrow. _Our weapons_ , she repeated in her head.

 

"If she really cared about Clarke," he continued, "she'd give herself up."

 

Once again Raven rolled her eyes. "And if she did do you really think Nia would give us Clarke back, just like that?"

 

Bellamy ignored the question, frowning at Raven as it was becoming more and more clear that she wasn't about to side with him. "You seem to want to trust Lexa after she betrayed us so easily last time-"

 

"-This isn't about the Mountain, Bell."

 

Bellamy shook his head, staring after Lexa's trail. "We should make her give herself up," he pondered aloud.

 

"The Commander?" Raven laughed a little at the absurdity of it. "Get real! The Coalition outnumbers us fifty to one. Forget it, Bell," she jeered, trying to force it into him. "This is the plan. Get behind it or stay home." She glared at him once more and then stumbled off toward the Ark, not prepared to waste anymore of her time arguing pointlessly.

 

Bellamy just watched her go, angry and frustrated that he wasn't being listened to.

 

**//**

 

Nia paused where she stood, casting an eye over Clarke dubiously as she tried to figure her out. Initially she had assumed Clarke was simply lying to her in an attempt to save herself, her people and her lover but now she wasn't so sure. She quirked an eyebrow as she thought over what Clarke had said, how she'd bartered for her people and hardly mentioned Lexa at all but that of course didn't mean anything. If Clarke was lying about her involvement with Lexa then she was very good at it, but that didn't mean Nia was about to believe her. It didn't matter anyway, Lexa would soon make her move to try and save her and then Nia would know once and for all.

 

"I can see why she likes you," Nia said finally after some deliberation. She knew the Commander hadn't involved herself with anyone since Costia even though quite a few had tried. She had even sent a few spies of her own to try and get close but even the prettiest of faces had failed. Clarke clearly was much more than that and Nia was coming to realise what a good ally she would be. "You're unlike the chief's of any other clan," she continued with a wry grin. "In many ways you're more like _her_."

 

Clarke sighed. She felt like she'd been talking for hours. "If you mean I'd rather have peace than war then yes, I am like the Commander in that way." She watched Nia closely and tried to keep her negotiating cap on although being around the Ice Queen for this long was making her nauseous. She pulled in a breath. "Peace is the _only_ way we can all move forward and live, together."

 

Nia held up a palm to silence her. "Please. I've been to enough of her meetings and summits to know her ideals of peace."

 

"I thought you avoided her meetings," Clarke mumbled and it was out before she could stop it. Nia looked at her pointedly so Clarke quickly carried on with a slightly raised voice. "It's not just her idea of peace," she pressed.

 

"Oh really?" Nia countered. "I was under the impression your people fell from the sky and immediately started killing trikru. Or am I mistaken?"

 

Clarke swallowed as her chest caved in a little, and then she pulled her eyes away.

 

"Where were your proclamations of peace then?"

 

Clarke shook her head. It was true, after all, and she honestly felt like she hadn't stopped killing since she arrived on Earth. It made her chest hurt and her brow immediately furrowed.

 

"People fear you, Wanheda," Nia continued as she took a step forward sensing vulnerability. "And those who don't want you dead. They don't want your idea of peace, they want to avenge the people you've killed."

 

Clarke lifted her head and tilted her chin up, taking in a slow and measured breath. "So why don't they?"

 

Nia scoffed a little. "Because the Commander protects you," she hissed quietly, injecting some venom into her tone. "Kill her and Skaikru will be next."

 

Clarke's lips slowly fell into a thin line as she narrowed her eyes. She wasn't about to let Nia's intimidation techniques get the better of her even if she was suddenly uneasy. "The way I see it most of the Coalition stands behind the Commander." She shook her head again. "Not you."

 

"Only because she has you," Nia snapped in return, the annoyance shining brightly in her eyes. " _I_ can guarantee your people's survival just as she can," and then just as quickly she became angry, the irritation almost exploding from her. "The Coalition is weak under her rule, you know that. _She_ is weak. She walked away from a battle that would have solidified her leadership and brought Skaikru into the Coalition as a welcomed clan. Now you are feared for destroying the Mountain instead of her and your clan is outcast and mistrusted." She then lowered her voice. "Her mistake was disastrous and she showed herself for the coward she truly is."

 

Clarke once again held it all back. The part of her that wanted to defend Lexa and the choices she made but however much she may dislike it, part of her also agreed. Lexa did make the wrong call at Mt. Weather and if she hadn't things would indeed be very different. Nia was testing her and Clarke knew it so somehow she managed to keep her expression neutral. Her demeanour calm even though she felt anything but.

 

An evil smile slowly spread itself across Nia's face as she seemed pleased with the non-reaction she was getting from Clarke. Perhaps she was starting to believe her after all. "So you would be happy to see Lexa fall, despite the relationship you have with her?"

 

Clarke fought the temptation to role her eyes. They were going over the same ground as Nia attempted to call her out. It was yet another test. "All I want is for my people to live, and be protected."

 

Nia nodded. "Having Skaikru as an ally would be beneficial I admit," she finally concluded as she began to pace rather lazily in the middle of the room. After a few moments she turned to Clarke. "And you can ensure the cooperation of your people?"

 

Clarke raised both of her eyebrows. "They certainly don't hold any fondness for the Commander." Finally she could say something that was true.

 

"As you know Azgeda is a great distance from where we are now. I will need more than a general distaste for Lexa if I am to believe your people will support my rule."

 

"Formal negotiations can come later." If Clarke knew anything it was that pandering to egos within Skaikru was a sure way to gain their favour. "But I'm sure my people will gladly assist you in coordinating leadership in this area."

 

Nia just frowned a little in order to get Clarke to elaborate.

 

Clarke sighed. "It would lend to certain egos well and after all, it is what we've been trying to do since we got here." She didn't like to admit it but she knew even her mother would feel better with having some form of control over the land around Camp Jaha. All of trikru if possible. Clarke was just glad it would never come to that, if she had anything to do with it anyway.

 

Nia narrowed her eyes. "Make no mistake, Wanheda. _I_ intend to lead the Coalition when Lexa is dead."

 

Clarke's heart plummeted again and a heavy lump appeared at the back of her throat which she had trouble swallowing. Nia was testing her yet again she assumed, watching her as closely as she was to any reaction Clarke might make to her words. Clarke however stood firm. "All I'm saying is if you respect and treat my people well you'll have no opposition from them." She swallowed again and felt her heartbeat pick up a little. "That was Lexa's mistake from the start."

 

Nia wasn't surprised at that. "Her judgement has always been poor," she mumbled with distain before she continued on with her point. "The clans that resist will need to be punished. I trust I can count on you to assist in that too?"

 

All of the people Clarke had met while living with Trikru and staying in Polis quickly flashed through her mind. The faces of so many people and the friends she had made. Sienna, Zeek.. even the ones who had initially greeted her with hostility but gradually came to accept her. She knew that even without Lexa they would unlikely back down to Nia, in fact she was completely certain Indra, Dax and quite a few of the other clan leaders would die trying to avenge her. It was unthinkable and suddenly Clarke's swallowing became painful. "Of course."

 

Nia smiled, then. A wide and far reaching smile which made Clarke's blood turn cold. "Alright, Clarke," she eventually said, taking several steps forward toward her and then she outstretched her arm between them. "Do we have a deal?"

 

Clarke was a little surprised although she didn't know why. This had been her point, after all, to con Nia into thinking she and her people were on her side. All she could hope was that Lexa and Skaikru had hatched some plan for which Clarke could assist with from within, somehow. She heard Roan shuffle behind her and it reminded her of the tenuous position she was in. "Yes," she replied as she grabbed onto Nia's arm in agreement.

 

"Good," Nia practically cackled before she pulled her arm away. "There is one last test before I can believe you fully."

 

Clarke's eyebrow went up. "Test?"

 

"Yes," Nia replied. "Pass it and Skaikru will be safe as long as Azgeda rules Polis and I assure you, that will be for a very, very long time."

 

Clarke heard some shuffling from Roan behind her and instantly her defences went up. "And if I don't?"

 

Nia shrugged, the grin still on her lips however. "Then you die at Lexa's side but fear not, if what you tell me is true then there will be no issue."

 

Clarke quickly became ten times more uneasy than she already was. "What's the test?"

 

Nia raised her chin as she glanced at Roan over Clarke's shoulder for a brief moment and then she brought her icy gaze back to Clarke. "You will soon find out."

 

**//**

 

Stealth missions were always Anya's favourites. The element of surprise and the art of hiding and moving silently without detection, followed either quickly or not by skilled killing and destruction. There was always a glimmer in her firsts eyes when the lesson revolved around any of these and so Lexa was well versed in such tactics. Well versed, expertly taught and Lexa could only imagine how much Anya would relish being in such a position like she was in now.

 

She pushed it to the back of her mind though and instead focused only on the task at hand.

 

They were made up of five teams; Lexa leading one, Indra, Luna, Gaia and Azizi leading the others and each positioned strategically in locations around Ouskejou Kru and Delfikru. All Lexa could hope for was that she would be the one to discover Clarke and Nia, and of course with her knowledge of both dissenting clans she had placed herself in the most likely position in which to do so.

 

Dax was currently across from her, his outline barely visible as he submerged himself within the cover of the trees. The plan was to sneak in and scatter, taking down the enemy quietly until they were discovered at which point the havoc would begin. She and Dax were to interrogate whenever they could and then once the targets were discovered, radio the other groups so they could all converge at the same time.

 

It was dangerous, undoubtedly, with the risk of capture and death high but Lexa's soldiers were loyal, as were the clans who remained in support of her. She had asked for her most skilled warriors and the clan leaders who loved her most had volunteered without question. They all knew what was at stake and they all wanted Nia dead as much as Lexa.

 

She caught Dax's gaze for a moment before she nodded, his loyalty and commitment to her never wavering even though he had now seen her at her worst. Both broken and lost and throughout it all she couldn't have hoped for a better second to Gustus. If she lived through this she knew she owed him a great debt even though he would never see it that way himself.

 

He nodded in return and then lifted the radio to his lips, the other groups waiting for the go ahead to strike. "Move in," he murmured quietly, and then with one last glance at his Heda they all began their assault.

 

**//**

 

Lexa decided she really liked hand grenades. They were effective and destructive as they took out groups of the enemy at a time. Lexa's group hadn't been inside long before she _knew_ Clarke was there, somewhere, the sheer number of Azgeda warriors present seemed unfathomable, almost impossible for her scouts to have missed but there they were nonetheless and Lexa had no issue with killing them all.

 

There was hardly time for interrogation, nor for communicating with the other four groups as they were quickly outnumbered but with the art of stealth and the aid of skaikru explosives they weren't losing. In fact they had the upper hand and when they weren't killing they were giving Azgeda and Delfikru the run around, easily able to slip into the darkness as they moved from cover to cover, hiding within buildings and the environment itself.

 

Eventually though Lexa became frustrated. She was there for a reason, not just to mindlessly kill traitors regardless of how much they deserved it. She decided to speed things up and easily killed two Delfikru warriors who approached her as she stepped out from her cover, her blade slicing through their flesh as they fell to the ground in puddles of their own blood. The third warrior she swept around and incapacitated him, cutting through the back of his knee which made him collapse to the ground. She quickly sheathed her sword, glancing around to make sure she wouldn't be noticed amongst the surrounding chaos and then she dragged him back toward her cover, around a cover and into the shadows.

 

She practically threw him against a wall before she descended upon him, covering his mouth with her hand and drawing her dagger from her belt with her other. She crouched over him with her teeth bared, the bloodlust now screeching through her the longer the mission went on. Her warpaint was now almost indistinguishable, the sweat and blood covering her face providing a certain anonymity that she didn't need but served a purpose nevertheless. Up close however anyone could tell who she was and the fear in the warrior's eyes as this realisation struck him was paramount, but he was in no position to alert his people to his discovery.

 

"Where is she?" Lexa seethed, the warriors eyes blinking rapidly and she could feel his bodies tense shaking beneath her. "Tell me," she commanded, her voice quiet but no less rigid. He didn't respond however, just moaned and screamed in pain beneath her palm so she thrust her dagger into his thigh, pulling it out sharply and holding it up so he could see the blood as it dripped from her blade. "Where is she?" she demanded again.

 

Still nothing, and this only angered Lexa further. She could feel her insides trembling with the intensity of what she was feeling. So much hatred for Nia, so much worry for Clarke and somewhere amid them both concern about her own actions and where they might take her but really, that was the least of her problems. If she couldn't save Clarke she was certain her soul would be gone forever so whatever it took to find her she would do, and currently that was torturing this warrior for information and so torture him she did.

 

Lexa grit her teeth and plunged the dagger into his opposite thigh not once but twice, repeating her question with even more ferocity each time. The warrior was Azgeda and that appeased her a little, knowing he was the best chance of knowing Nia's exact location and imagining with every thrust of her blade that she was hurting Azgeda, and therefore she was hurting it's Queen.

 

"Tell me where your Queen is," Lexa growled into his ear, his screams still being suffocated by her palm and this time she knifed him just to the right of his gut.

 

He was loud but the fighting and explosions from all around them was louder. The distant sound of Skaikru gunfire added into the mix, too. Lexa knew her warriors were doing their jobs well, and contrary to previous opinion Skaikru were being effective too.

 

Lexa had for a while thought this kind of war was long since over but it seemed it really wasn't. At least Nia would be dead at the end of it, or so Lexa kept telling herself and at least then she would see Clarke again. She could touch her again, kiss her and hold her close, if of course she would let her. Regardless this was her justification and so she hardened herself again and twisted the blade a little as the warrior continued to force his pain into her skin.

 

"Tell me!" Lexa shouted, her desire for this day to be over and Clarke to be saved culminating in such a ferocious impatience that she glared into his eyes harder, twisted her blade more forcibly and as the warriors eyes widened in absolute terror she then witnessed the life drain from him before his body went limb, and he slowly hunched over to the side.

 

For a moment Lexa just continued to stare at him, a number of things rushing through her mind but she easily ignored them, swiftly removing her blade as she got to her feet and sheathed it back on her hip. She sighed as she turned, wiping her bloodstained palms against the outsides of her thighs knowing she was going to have to find a higher ranking warrior in order to find out what she needed to know. She swallowed and then took in a long breath, attempting to calm the rapid rise and fall of her chest before she stepped out from cover once again to go and find Dax without even a second look back.

 

**//** 

 

"You can come inside if you'd like," Abby offered, nodding toward the Ark. "I could give you a tour."

 

Pius regarded the structure dubiously, his hands linking behind his back. He was a man of tradition and the kind of culture that would easily define such a thing as an abomination, but he managed to refrain from saying so. "I would rather not," he said instead, still eyeing the Sky People's home with distaste. "But thank you for offering," he finished, glancing sideways at Abby.

 

"Fair enough," she smiled, knowing that would likely be his answer. "I'm Abby Griffin," she then continued as she extended her hand out to him. "Chancellor of the Ark. I don't believe we've met."

 

It took a moment for Pius to contemplate this gesture in the spirit it was meant. For his people grasping a person's arm meant a lot more than a simple greeting but of course Abby wouldn't know that, and Pius wasn't naive enough to think she would. His eyes flicked between hers and her outstretched hand and knowing a refusal would more than likely displease Lexa, he unclasped his hands and grasped the Chancellor's offered arm.

 

"Meika's slack," he said in a firm voice even though he felt a little uncomfortable. "I am Pius. Fleimkepa and advisor to Heda."

 

Abby raised her eyebrows as only a few words in his sentence made any sense to her. She smiled as she shook his arm a little and then released her grip. "You'll have to teach me what that means one day."

 

Pius retracted his hand and once again linked it with the other behind his back, his gaze returning to the metal construction. He would never understand how an entire people could live within such a thing, or even how such a large, heavy object could remain in the sky for so long in the first place. It baffled him, and again resulted in his opinion of it being an abomination. He took in a breath. "Yes," he replied, still lost in thought. "There are many things we could learn of each other."

 

Of all the things Abby thought he might say she certainly wasn't expecting that. She nodded her head once. "I suppose there are."

 

Pius' lips pulled a little to the side. "The customary response is, 'Yumi's klir'."

 

"Ah," Abby replied, and then after a moment. "Yumi's klir."

 

Pius actually smiled but then his thoughts quickly headed toward the complications of Skaikru becoming the thirteenth clan, but then that was a headache for another time. He turned his attention back to Abby. "Abby Griffin," he began. "You are Clarke's mother?"

 

Abby immediately felt a pain in her chest at the mention of Clarke's name having spent the last few hours trying not to think of all the things the Ice Queen might be doing to her. She pressed her eyes shut as she sucked in a deep breath and then she nodded, once or twice. "Yes," she replied quietly, her eyes opening and a deep furrow forming across her brow.

 

Pius felt a little sympathy for her then as he recognised the emotion that ghosted over her face. It was exactly what he felt whenever Lexa went into battle. "She will not give up without a fight," and that made Abby look at him. "Clarke is..." he didn't really know why he was trying to comfort her, other than the fact he had many, many years' experience of not knowing whether Lexa would return victorious or not. Only the hope that she would and he assumed this was something new for Abby, Skaikru arriving only months before. He raised an eyebrow, trying to think of the most polite way to categorise Clarke kom Skaikru. "A force to be reckoned with."

 

Abby actually smiled, at that, and it took her a minute or so to reply. "She's certainly that."

 

Pius nodded. "Besides," he carried on with a sigh. "Heda allowed it once. She will not again."

 

Abby turned to him. "Allowed it?" She assumed he was referring to what Lexa told her in the woods but thought his choice of words was a little odd.

 

He nodded again, just once but nothing more was forthcoming.

 

Abby thought she would push it. "The Commander told me," she started quietly, watching Pius carefully as she spoke. "Before Clarke was taken, what happened when Nia took the last person she cared for."

 

Pius swallowed, very uncomfortably and uncertain where the Chancellor was taking this. He remained quiet with his hands still linked, his shoulders back and jaw level.

 

Abby didn't really know what else to say. This was obviously something he wasn't interested in talking about. She wasn't surprised, however. She breathed out slowly. "Did you know?" she asked after a moment or so and Pius angled his head a little toward her. It gave Abby the confidence to continue. "That there was something between the Commander and Clarke?"

 

Slowly Pius' lips pulled to the side in the slightest of smirks. "I suspected," he replied, recalling the looks between the two of them until of course he walked into Lexa's room and found Clarke in her bed, quite obviously naked but he wasn't about to bring that up. "From the moment Heda brought Clarke to Polis." He then turned to Abby and there was something like fondness in his stony grey eyes. "She used to look at Costia the same way."

 

Abby assumed Costia was the girl Lexa was talking about in the woods and although his comment made her smile, briefly, a certain warmth passing through her as she realised just how much Lexa must genuinely care for Clarke, it also reiterated how much danger her daughter was actually in. The conflicting emotions made her muscles flinch.

 

"She was broken," Pius continued, his eyes now finding the ground a little ahead of him and then he shook his head firmly as if he didn't want to think of it. "She will not let Nia do it to her again," he growled. "This time when Heda returns, Nia will be dead."

 

His confidence however wasn't shared by Abby. "What makes it different this time?" she asked carefully, and then she turned to him. "How can you be certain she'll succeed?"

 

Pius met her gaze, not at all used to anyone doubting the Commander. Anyone who usually did ended up off the balcony but he suspected Lexa would want him to grant Skaikru a little leniency. They were new after all, and were yet to see exactly what Lexa was capable of. "She is the greatest leader we have ever seen," he began slowly, exceptionally resolute. "She is formidable, in every way. She will lead our people to widespread peace I am sure of it."

 

If his tone wasn't enough the look in his eyes certainly spoke volumes about the way he felt about Lexa. She wondered if it was the same for all of Lexa's people. "You speak very highly of her," she responded after a moment.

 

Pius clenched his jaw. "She deserves nothing less."

 

Abby finally broke eye contact and then sucked in a long heavy breath, not being able to forget what happened at the mountain no matter the strength in Pius' words. She wasn't convinced about Lexa, and she knew it would take a lot more than a few conversations to get her to change her mind. One thing seemed certain though, and that was how important Clarke was to Lexa. Abby raised a brow. "Well I hope you're right."

 

"You will see," Pius replied confidently, taking another long look at the Ark. "When she returns you will understand, and then she will lead your people as well."

 

Abby scoffed loudly, really not expecting him to say that. She cleared her throat not ready at all to think about anything other than getting Clarke back home safely. "I don't know about that."

 

Pius glanced at her again. "If you wish to join the Coalition there is no other way." His brow was furrowed as if he was unsure how the Chancellor wasn't already aware of that fact.

 

Abby was somewhat lost for words and all she could do was grin a little, knowing in that moment she was completely out of her depth. She couldn't think about it, though, and somehow Pius seemed to recognise her feeling.

 

He smiled a little himself and this made the mood considerably lighter. "Speak with her," he offered, "when she returns with Clarke."

 

"Oh I will," Abby responded quickly, and then she smiled at him in return.

 

"Good."

 

**//**

 

_"When I am Heda, things will be different."_

_Lexa was sick of war. In all of her lessons with Gustus, all of his talks on strategy and leading armies it was always because of a squabble between one clan leader and another. Some bitter feud that was still raging on generations later._

_There were firm alliances with some clans and temperamental ones with others. Some clans were never worthy of an alliance and members of others were always to be captured and bled for information regardless of why they were on foreign land. No matter the reason they may have wandered so far from their own boarders._

_Lexa was tired of it even though she was still very young but according to Gustus it was necessary. Pius however believed a peace could be achieved and so Lexa always enjoyed her sessions with him, regardless of how many times Anya told her he was idealistic and foolish. A man of faith rather than action who wouldn't last five minutes on that battlefield, or so her mentor would say._

_"You will be amazing as Heda," Costia whispered into Lexa's ear as the young novitiate leaned her back against Costia's front, covered up to her chest in bubbly warm water._

_Lexa enjoyed bathing with her girlfriend after a particularly hard training session just as much as Costia enjoyed taking care of any cuts and bruises she may have sustained with the healing salt water. Costia would envelope Lexa in her arms, washing the water over Lexa's skin as she rested her head against Costia's chest. Lexa always felt safe in these moments and it was precious alone time they got to enjoy away from lessons, work or training._

_Lexa sighed as she felt the gentle rise and fall of Costia's chest beneath her head, the quiet thudding of her heartbeat helping to sooth and relax her. "Much blood will be spilled before the correct leaders command the clans into peace," Lexa murmured, considering the task that lay before her even before she knew if it would be hers to take. "Changes will need to be made."_

_"And you will make them," Costia reassured her gently, her fingertips running over the exposed skin of Lexa's arms._

_Lexa hummed, not convinced at all that she would ever achieve such a thing even if she was Heda, but then Costia always did have the most faith in her. It made Lexa love her even more. "Azgeda will be the hardest to convince," she continued after a moment, turning her head up and slightly to the side so she could push her forehead a little against Costia's chin. "The war between them and the Trikru-lead alliance is years old. You know the stories Indra would tell us."_

_Both of them were Trikru so they had both grown up listening to tales of the hated northern-most clan._

_"Indra loves you," Costia whispered, giving Lexa a squeeze with her arms. "Once she is convinced the others will follow."_

_Lexa's brow twitched a little. "Perhaps."_

_Costia grinned. Her girlfriend was as cautious as she was pessimistic, never willingly looking on the positive side of things. "No perhaps about it," she responded as she splashed Lexa playfully, giggling as she grumbled in return. "She is proud of you already. The strongest of all the novitiate's and of Trikru origin."_

_Lexa rolled her eyes. "Cos..."_

_"It is true," Costia said, this time feeling proud herself. Her girlfriend was the best novitiate and she would become Heda, everyone knew it except of course for the girl herself. Costia found it very cute though when the future Heda became all shy and bashful, and so she took these opportunities to embarrass her thoroughly. "You do not know since you came to Polis. She speaks of you often, how our next Heda will be Trikru and how she knew you as a child."_

_Lexa continued grumbling as she fidgeted a little in Costia's arms. "We do not know that yet," she mumbled, not wanting to think about how much she would disappoint Indra if she wasn't victorious in the conclave._

_Costia brought her lips to Lexa's ear once more. "Well I know."_

_Lexa frowned. "You are bias-"_

_"-Mmm but I still know," and then she placed a kiss against Lexa's temple._

_The kiss diffused her agitation, as was always the case. "Either way," Lexa sighed heavily, "Azgeda will never agree to a peace."_

_Costia continued to drag her lips along Lexa's skin, from her temple to her cheekbone and back again. "If Indra will, then Nia will."_

_The haziness that was settling over her thanks to Costia's lips and fingertips were having the desired effect. Lexa felt lighter, and her chest was beginning to feel fuzzy as her lips suddenly went dry. Costia's comment however made her chuckle. "Do not let Indra hear you liken them together," she warned light-heartedly, knowing without a shadow of a doubt Indra would not like that at all. She raised her hand from the side of the tub and reached it back into Costia's long curly hair, running it through her fingers to enjoy its thick, wavy texture. "She will cut off your head."_

_Costia giggled and enveloped Lexa tighter. "But you would save me."_

_Lexa smiled as she angled her head up further, Costia moving hers down to match. "Always."_

_The kiss was chaste, gentle and loving as their lips moved together slowly. Both of their eyes falling closed as they melded into their warm and wet, skin on skin embrace. Lexa lived for moments like these, and Costia happily gave them to her._

_"You will make it happen," Costia carried on once their lips had parted and their lungs once again took in air. "The twelve clans will know peace," she said as Lexa settled back down against her chest, Costia's arms returning to their gentle squeeze, "and Indra will follow you no matter what."_

_Lexa sighed. "And Azgeda?"_

_Costia settled back against the tub as well, her hands getting busy with bathing her girlfriend and fussing over her bruises. "Just remember peace is your goal, and don't let anything get in the way of that."_

_Lexa felt a knot at the back of her throat, all of a sudden unsure of her own abilities. Was she strong enough? Sure enough? Resolute enough? She knew Costia had unwavering faith in her but she honestly didn't know if she had what it would take. Not that she would ever admit that out loud, not even to Costia._

_Lexa swallowed and it made her cough a little. "I must first succeed in the conclave upon Heda's death," which was of course something else she didn't really want to think about. Lexa loved the Commander wholeheartedly, as did the rest of the novitiates and it was she who had confided in Lexa one night and set alight the idea of a united peace in her mind in the first place. She blinked a few times and then looked away, her fingers tapping against the side of the tub which told Costia it wasn't something she wanted to discuss any further._

_Costia smiled and placed another lingering kiss to Lexa's temple. "Piece of cake," she whispered softly._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
>  Translations.  
>  **
> 
>  
> 
>  _"Skaikru."_  
>  "Sky People."
> 
>  _"Azgeda."_  
>  "Ice Nation."
> 
>  _"Raven kom Skaikru"._  
>  "Raven of the Sky People."
> 
>  _"Sha tekepa."_  
>  "Yes tech-maker."  
> (I've made this up as a sort of reference to what Dax has seen Raven doing and therefore has called her almost as a term of endearment. To us she is a skilled mechanical engineer but to Dax she is a maker of complex things, therefore a maker of technology).
> 
>  _"Dax, mafta ai op."_  
>  "Dax, follow me."
> 
>  _Trikru._  
>  Tree people.
> 
>  _Ouskejou Kru._  
>  Blue Cliff Clan.
> 
>  _Delfikru._  
>  Delphi Clan.
> 
>  _Fleimkipa._  
>  Flame keeper.
> 
>  
> 
> _"Meika's slack." ___  
> *Grounder equivalent of, "nice to meet you."
> 
>  
> 
> __  
> __"Yumi's klir."_  
>  *Grounder equivalent of, "nice to meet you too."_
> 
>  
> 
> _  
>   
>  _
> 
>  
> 
> _  
> _*The people over on the slack board are amazing for discussing Trigedasleng and expanding the language. You can find them putting these phrases to David Peterson on Tumblr[here](https://dedalvs.tumblr.com/post/158526333262/slengheda-slakkru-has-a-suggestion-for-the)._  
>  _


	20. tweni

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa, Dax and the others continue on their mission to find Clarke and Nia. Raven and Abby discuss Lexa but get a shock. Clarke talks a little with Roan and then Nia plays her final hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Well, what about that episode of Wynonna Earp, huh? Waves defo needs to go get her girl! But anyhow back to Clexa. This chapter is full of drama and I feel the need to point out **this story will have a happy ending!** So fear not.
> 
> Thanks as always for the continued support, kudos and reviews. I appreciate every one of them :) and in the spirit of Lexa being all badass get your awesome warpaint stickers [here](https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/523089274/lexa-warpaint-stickers?ref=shop_home_feat_1)! ;)
> 
> If you want to get in touch you can find me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/talented_gemx) or [tumblr](http://talentedgemx.tumblr.com). Please enjoy and remember flashbacks are in italics!

The screams were loud, but not the loudest they'd heard that morning. This one was on the Azgeda guard, one of Nia's personal detail but still he wouldn't give up her or Clarke's exact location. If Lexa was being honest she would be impressed with the amount of loyalty and pain the Azgeda warriors were willing to endure for the sake of their Queen but she wasn't in that frame of mind. She was all too aware that time was pressing on and they still weren't any closer to finding Clarke.

 

"Heda," Dax said as he pulled his dagger from the guards side making him once again scream in pain. "He will not talk, and this is the fifth one."

 

Lexa pushed her hands over her head in a rare display of exasperation as she desperately tried to keep her frustration inside. It was building furiously and she was running out of ideas. They could go through the entire Azgeda guard at this rate, still produce nothing and communication on the radio wasn't forthcoming either. She didn't know if she was making the wrong decisions or if she was just being impatient, neither of which the Commander usually was. She needed to hold it together.

 

"Kill each of us you find," the wounded warrior spluttered, clenching at his side with his face scrunched up in pain. "We will tell you nothing."

 

"Quiet!" Dax ordered.

 

The warrior however just glared at Lexa. "She will die," he spat roughly, his lips smirking as the Commander turned to face him. She knew he was talking about Clarke. "And you will watch as she does."

 

Lexa saw red. She barged passed Dax, grabbed the dagger from his hand and thrust it into the warriors throat, no longer interested in the information he could provide but instead just a rabid, morbid desire to see blood spill from his unworthy, lifeless body.

 

Dax's attention fell to the ground as his hands found his hips. "Heda," he tried, worrying as much as she was about time not being on their side.

 

After a few moments of staring into the guards pain-filled eyes Lexa pulled out the dagger and stood up straight, wiping the blade against her hip. "We will not stop until we find her," she mumbled, the intent clear in her tone.

 

Dax glanced at the sky. "When the sun rises fully it will only advantage the enemy," he surmised, fixing his mind on strategy rather than their position so far. He looked at Lexa. "We must strengthen our numbers." Once the darkness faded there would be fewer places to hide and being out in the open meant the Azgeda and Delfikru numbers would be far too many for their small groups to handle.

 

Lexa nodded. "Yes. Radio Indra. Tell her to raise the army."

 

"Yes, Heda." He sighed, though. Still knowing they were at a disadvantage. He reached for the radio. "It would useful if we knew for certain which clan is hiding them."

 

Lexa raised a brow, her heartbeat considerably calmer since she killed the guard. If the act hadn't been so soothing it would be alarming but Lexa refused to think about it. "It would." She was certain however, that they were in the right place. "Anything from Luna?" She knew the answer but asked anyway.

 

"Not yet."

 

Lexa grimaced as she held eye contact with her general for a moment as frustration once again reared its ugly head. Luna was on the other side of Delfikru, quite a distance away but still the closest of the other groups to her.

 

 _"Heda,"_ the radio crackled suddenly with a familiar voice, causing both Lexa and Dax to startle at it. _"She is here."_

 

Lexa took the few steps to Dax's side, glaring once at the radio and then at him.

 

It took Dax a few seconds to start moving again, the surprise of Luna using the radio at that very moment quite unbelievable. He moved the radio to his lips. "Luna," he asked into it. "Are you certain?"

 

Years seemed to pass before she spoke again but really it was only the time it took Lexa to lick her lips.

 

_"Yes. I have seen both Kristof and Roan."_

 

Lexa gripped at Dax's shoulder.

 

_"As well as a small Azgeda army at the northern point of the village. We are concealed along the western tree line."_

 

There was another pause as Lexa glanced at Dax, and Dax back at Lexa.

 

_"What are your orders?"_

 

Lexa immediately took the radio from Dax. "Maintain your position and keep watch until we arrive. Indra will bring the army to the eastern ridge."

 

"Yes Heda."

 

Lexa met Dax's gaze again and she paused, a question perched on her lips but it took a considerable moment for her to decide whether or not to ask it. "Have you seen Clarke?"

 

Another pause.

 

_"No, Heda."_

 

Lexa's heart sank.

 

_"Nor have I seen Nia but wherever Kristof and Roan are, she will be."_

 

And wherever Nia was, Clarke was sure to be. It was good enough for Lexa. She nodded and then passed the radio to Dax who placed it back on his hip.

 

Lexa peered out from where they were concealed, out into the chaos and it looked as if the sky was falling in. "Contact Indra," she ordered, her mind quickly calculating the quickest way to notify the warriors in her group who were scattered around the immediate area. It wasn't long before she knew exactly what to do. "Tell her of the situation."

 

"Yes Heda."

 

**

 

Clarke's eyes swept around the room, taking in every small detail in case it would come in useful, at some point, but for the most part she watched Nia closely. She was on the other side of the room speaking with various warriors, a steady stream of them coming and going as the minutes ticked by. She made a mental note to get Zeek to step up her Trigedasleng lessons as it certainly would be handy to understand the odd word that floated her way.

 

She fidgeted a little as she thought of Zeek and hoped he hadn't been left for dead by those who took her. She actually missed him, if she was honest, especially with Roan now a constant at her side. He made her feel uneasy, but then she supposed that was the point.

 

Clarke turned her head to him, but only enough so she could still keep her eyes on Nia. "Why is there such animosity between Lexa and your mother?" she asked under her breath, her forehead drawing a frown and her curiosity getting the better of her. "Surely a united peace is in everyone's interest."

 

Roan didn't answer immediately. He was silent and unmoving and it made Clarke think that maybe all grounders were that way. Just like Zeek, calm and quiet and uninterested in conversation.

 

"Is this not a question you have asked the Commander?"

 

Clarke was surprised he responded at all and his voice made her flinch, a little. "Honestly no," she answered, trying to think why she'd never asked. "I guess it never came up."

 

Roan smirked, at that. "The feud is much bigger than them. It is decades old and only so turbulent now because the Commander is trikru."

 

Clarke's frown grew larger and she expelled a breath of air. Surely if Nia wanted to be Heda then she should've tried well before now. "If your mother wanted to be Commander, then why isn't she?"

 

Roan smirked. Either Clarke was being deliberately ignorant of their ways or she really hadn't discussed this with Lexa. "That is not the way ascension works, Wanheda."

 

Clarke still didn't get it. Surely Nia wouldn't put all grounders through this just because she didn't like to see a member of trikru as Commander. Moreover there had to be a process where the most qualified person was the one who ascended, and clearly Lexa _was_ that person. "So we're at war because your mother is bitter?"

 

Roan smirked again. If Clarke was ignorant of their ways then she certainly wasn't about his mother. Every clan could hold a grudge but none like the Ice Queen. His jaw clenched however, when he noticed his mother staring at them. "We are at war, Wanheda," he started, raising his voice several octaves, "because the Commander is weak."

 

Clarke raised a brow that screamed Lexa was anything other than weak but she managed to hold her comment back.

 

He leaned in closer to her as Nia walked over to them. "You will see this soon enough."

 

"I'm sure Wanheda is aware of the flaws in our current Commander," Nia interrupted, gaining both of their attention. "She has spent enough time with her after all." Her eyebrow went up as she spoke and the implication wasn't lost of Clarke.

 

Again though she bit back her comment. "I've see many flaws since arriving on the ground," she said with a hefty amount of contempt as she narrowed her eyes at Nia. "In every clan."

 

"And none so much as in your own," Nia grinned in return. "I expect."

 

A door somewhere in the distance opened and then slammed shut before Kristof and several Azgeda warriors stalked around the corner and then in Nia's direction. It was a long moment that Nia and Clarke stared at each other for and it wasn't until Kristof spoke that the Queen pulled her steely gaze away.

 

"Haiplana," he grunted with a bow of his head. "Heda ste hir".

 

Nia's eyes went wide and her lips flicked up at the edges a little, and Clarke wished more than anything that she knew what they were saying. "Em gonakru?"

 

Kristof smirked as well, then. "Imfou os. Emo nou kom taim op."

 

There was a slight pause as Nia seemed to consider what he said and Clarke's eyes hurried rather anxiously from one to the other and back again.

 

"Bos," Nia responded with a smile. "Kigon kom strat."

 

Kristof bowed his head again. "Sha haiplana," he said before he turned swiftly and left with his warriors close behind.

 

Clarke didn't waste any time. "What did he say?"

 

Nia turned back to her and there was excitement in her expression. Some kind of sick looking glee. "She comes for you."

 

She obviously meant Lexa and so Clarke twitched her brow. "Or for you."

 

Nia looked all kinds of smug and Clarke wished she could just punch her in the face. Hopefully Lexa soon would and then all this would be over.

 

"We shall see," Nia hissed as she moved for the exit. "And now we find out if you've been lying to me."

 

Clarke fought the urge to roll her eyes and she pushed out a long breath.

 

Nia cocked her head and Clarke felt Roan push her shoulder which presumably meant she was to follow her. She did and the Prince remained just a few strides behind.

 

"Follow my orders Wanheda and you shall prove yourself an ally." Nia instructed as she walked by a row of guards that seemed to go on forever, each bowing their head as she walked past. "Do not and then you die with your beloved Heda, her people, as well as yours."

 

Clarke felt her heartbeat pick up and she could only hope that Lexa had something up her sleeve that would outwit everyone, herself included. She swallowed and felt a severe sinking feeling take root in her gut. "Then I guess we'll find out."

 

**

 

Raven limped into medical and glanced around the practically vacant area, her eyes searching for Abby who was in the middle of doing a check-up on Zeek. Raven continued over, leaning her back against the empty gurney that was next to the one Zeek was lying on. "How is he?" she asked, her brow slightly scrunched and eyes narrowed. The jury was still out on him as far as she was concerned.

 

"Surprisingly well," Abby answered, very impressed with what she had found. "He might even recover faster than Lexa did when she was here."

 

Raven's eyebrows went up. "Weird."

 

"Mmmm," Abby agreed, and then she turned her attention to the very tired looking mechanic. "I take it you have news?"

 

"Yeh," Raven exhaled, her mind returning to the reason she was there. "Lexa thinks Clarke and Nia are at the northern tip of Delfikru. She's heading there now."

 

Abby's expression lifted at Raven's words, her initial response one of optimism but she tempered it, somewhat, knowing that getting her hopes up at this stage wouldn't be wise. She simply nodded, and managed a small smile.

 

"The other groups are taking defensive positions until Indra gets there with the army," Raven finished.

 

Abby took a moment to process it. "Have you heard anything from Marcus?" she asked. "Or Bellamy?"

 

Raven shook her head. "No, but then they don't have the radios."

 

"Right," Abby nodded, folding her arms over her chest. "How certain is the Commander that Clarke is there?"

 

Raven just shrugged; it wasn't as if there had been much conversation when Dax radioed it in. Just the passing of messages. "Good enough for her to direct every warrior there so..." she trailed off, not having anything better than that to go on.

 

Abby nodded slowly and then sighed. "Well, then it's good enough for me, too."

 

Raven frowned, a little harder than before. "You've changed your tune."

 

Abby busied herself again with checking Zeek's vitals even though she had already done so. "Well," she started slowly, licking her lips and biting on her bottom one. "Clarke knows Lexa better than any of us and she's given her a second chance so, maybe, instead of fighting and resisting someone who isn't trying to fight and resist us, we should give her a second chance, too."

 

Raven's jaw dropped considerably and she glared at Abby like she'd suddenly sprouted a second head. Not because she disagreed with her as she found herself hating Lexa less and less, lately, but because they were words she really didn't expect to hear from Abby's lips. "Really?"

 

Abby smiled as she saw the incredulous expression on Raven's face. "Yes. If Lexa is fighting for peace and she wants to welcome us into the Coalition then," she shrugged, shaking her head a little. "Maybe we should let her."

 

Raven was so confused. She wondered what the hell Lexa had said to her to make her suddenly so willing for them all to live so happily together, trikru, skaikru, whateverkru, and then it struck her. She smirked as she took in a breath as her eyes fell to Zeek once more. "How asleep is he?"

 

Abby pursed her lips. "Another few hours at least."

 

Raven raised a single eyebrow and pushed herself up onto the gurney with a palm on its edge at either side of her. "You're happy for us to join the Coalition?" Abby must know about Clarke and Lexa being, whatever they were, she deduced, narrowing her eyes at the doctor. Not that Raven knew for sure that they were a thing, but they had to be something, and Abby had to know about it for her suddenly to be willing to give Lexa the time of day, let alone anything else. Also Dax had dropped a few hints here and there, too.

 

Abby though just raised a brow as well as she seemed to peer even harder at the lifeless warrior before her. She thought if by some miracle she got Clarke back, as well as Marcus, Bellamy, Octavia and all the rest of her people who were out there then she'd do just about anything. She sighed and then turned her attention back to Raven. "We're at war, Raven. Clarke might not come home, nor might any of them. If they do, and I seriously, seriously hope so then I won't be the reason we start another one."

 

Raven nodded, at that, as it made a hell of a lot of sense. She sighed then, too, joining in on the sombre mood. "Dax gave me a speech about Lexa last night."

 

"Oh?"

 

"Yeah. About her forming the Coalition." She thought over it quickly and decided to summarise it in brief. "Basically he thinks she's the best thing ever. Totally badass."

 

Abby chuckled, remembering her conversation with Pius a night ago. "Well he's not the only one. You know, maybe we should give her the chance to show us."

 

"Mmm," Raven smiled. "Maybe we should."

 

"She will not disappoint you."

 

Abby screamed as she pretty much catapulted herself back several feet from Zeek's gurney as Raven almost fell off hers.

 

"Jesus fuck...!" Raven shouted, her heart leaping into her mouth as her eyes went wide and if her leg had been in full working order she'd have been on the floor and scrambling for the door.

 

"For God's sake!" Abby exclaimed, her one hand clutching at her chest as she half bent over the medical supply unit. "Zeek!"

 

"Heda will return Clarke to you and kill all those who stand in her way." His eyes were still closed but his voice was strong and clear as day.

 

Raven was breathing heavily and leaned over to her one side, her weight on her elbow and hand gripping around her bad thigh. "I thought you said he was out?" she directed at Abby.

 

Abby gestured a hand in his direction. "He should be!" After a moment spent calming her chest she walked back over to him, albeit gingerly, and then she checked the pulse at his wrist. "How are you feeling?"

 

He opened his eyes and attempted to sit up a little higher on the gurney. "I am fine."

 

Abby however placed a hand against his chest. "Oh no you don't."

 

"I must fight-" he tried before he clamped his eyes shut, his world going all kinds of woozy.

 

"Get up and you'll fall over."

 

"Fights already started anyway, champ," Raven added, still eyeing him a little warily from the safety of her gurney.

 

Zeek swallowed and then tried to focus on Raven even though there were three of her. "What of Heda?"

 

The confused look on his face was enough to show Raven that he wasn't an immediate threat even if he was some kind of medical mystery. "We await news," she answered, which didn't seem to appease him at all. "Don't worry, Heda has my weapons," she said, attempting to lighten the mood. "She'll be fine."

 

It made Abby smile but Zeek just scowled. "Heda is deadly without weapons."

 

Raven rolled her eyes. "Well in that case, just imagine what she'll be like with them."

 

It took a moment but the tiniest of smiles finally ghosted itself across the warriors lips. It was short lived however, as an almighty commotion relieved all three of them of any respite they might have briefly had. It was almost like an explosion, a massive ringing from outside that spread itself throughout the ark in a matter of seconds.

 

This time Raven did fall off the gurney. "What the hell was that?" she shouted, her hands pressed tightly over her ears.

 

Abby didn't even hear her, instead she just went for her radio. "Miller?" she shouted into it. "Miller? What's going on out there?"

 

But there was nothing.

 

"Miller!!"

 

Still nothing, but then there was gunfire. Lots of it. Rapid firing outside the ark followed by more loud bangs. Raven used the gurney to heave herself to her feet and then she scrambled over to Zeek and Abby, none of them having absolutely any clue what was going on but then they heard boots running against metal and then mumbled words of trigedasleng. It was broken but it was clear.

 

All three of them just glared at the doors.

 

"Zeek," Abby whispered. "What are they saying?"

 

They listened for a second longer before the voices fell silent and more than anything else Zeek prayed he had a weapon.

 

He looked at Abby. "They come for you."

 

**

 

It took longer for Lexa to reach the western tree line than she'd hoped, the normal signal to her warriors to regroup snagging a few problems with the skaikru members, as well a determined ten or so delfikru warriors who tried to stop them from leaving altogether.

 

By the time they arrived the sun was up and the Commander was keen to find Luna to discuss their plan of attack. The clearing however was empty so Lexa presumed she would be based further inside the dense forest as it provided better cover.

 

Everyone in Lexa's group dismounted their horses and shooed them away, quickly on her heels and following her into the trees. Dax gestured at them to fan out and be on the alert before he took up his usual place at Lexa's side.

 

"It will be some time before Indra arrives with the army," Dax mentioned quietly, knowing how impatient his Commander would be to storm Nia's position.

 

"I am aware," Lexa deadpanned, resisting the urge to roll her eyes as she stared straight ahead. "We shall learn what Luna knows and then decide our actions."

 

Dax though was concerned. "Azgeda and Delfikru numbers will far outweigh ours, Heda," he continued. "Even with all five groups we will be no match for them."

 

Lexa turned her head and threw him a look that spoke volumes, her eyebrow flicking up automatically. He didn't relent however, and he didn't care if he was patronising. She wouldn't kill him before this battle and afterwards his comment wouldn't matter either way.

 

"Your faith in your warriors is overwhelming, Dax," she quipped as she pulled her eyes away from him, setting them back on the trees ahead of her. "Perhaps we should wait for all the information before we make any decisions."

 

Dax didn't really know how to react and his gaze lingered on her for longer than it should. Had he misheard of did she just make a joke? He grinned after a moment or so and shook his head. He would be just as glad as Lexa when all this was over.

 

They forced their way through a particularly thick area of foliage, rounded a rock pile and then what they saw they weren't prepared for at all. They all stopped moving, Lexa and Dax drawing their swords on reflex while the others took a fraction of a second longer. Skaikru reached for their guns but were immediately grabbed from behind, their hands being forced behind their backs as their guns dropped to the ground.

 

Lexa was poised and ready to attack when Kristof stepped out from behind his group of warriors with Luna bound and gagged to his side, his sword pressed tightly to her throat. "Careful, Commander," Kristof sneered smugly. "Make a move and she dies."

 

Lexa paused abruptly as her eyes went wide, her mouth suddenly dry and her grip around her sword faltering. She was shocked, and Dax was having a similar reaction just behind her.

 

"Let her go," Dax was quick to demand, his feet digging into the ground where he stood. He was furious, as he knew his Commander was. He knew they had three trikru warriors ready and willing behind him and two members of skaikru who were now disarmed and immobilised.

 

Not great odds.

 

Kristof seemed to become even more pleased. "Speaking for your Commander now, general?" he sniggered, pulling Luna closer to him. "Is she finally lost for words?"

 

"Your Commander too, Kristof," Dax retaliated, his anger getting the better of him. "What you're doing is treason," and then he glanced at the other Azgeda warriors. "You are all traitors! And you will each die as such."

 

Kristof's face fell into a scowl. "You are as delusional as your Commander," he spat as he glared at Lexa, his eyes screaming treachery. "Surrender yourself," he announced, puffing his chest out as he did so. "Or I shall slit her throat."

 

"Back away now, general," Lexa ordered, not letting a beat pass before she responded. "Release Luna and I assure you your death will be quick and painless." Her tone was flat yet full of authority and her eyes bore into him like she was burning a hole through his head.

 

Kristof only stumbled for a moment, however, before he laughed and then ordered for more of his warriors to reveal themselves from the surrounding trees and exactly on cue, six warriors stepped out each with member of Luna's group, bound and gagged in exactly the same way as she was.

 

Lexa's heart sank and her throat bobbed, her mind working furiously to figure a way out of this but she was coming up empty, distracted by the intensity of Luna's eyes staring at her. They were telling her to let her die but there was no way Lexa would allow it. Not after Anya and Gustus.

 

As the Azgeda warriors forced Luna's group to their knees Dax glanced sideways at Lexa who wasn't even blinking. She glanced at him in return and they both seemed to realise that there wouldn't be an easy way out of this. Lexa pulled in a deep breath and looked at each of her people on their knees in turn, all of them proud and willing to die and then her gaze fell on Bellamy at the end of the line, his eyes blinking furiously at her before he focused his attention on the ground.

 

"Heda will never surrender to you," Dax spat, drawing Lexa's focus back to the matter at hand. "You know this."

 

Kristof pressed his sword heavier into Luna's throat, drawing the tiniest amount of blood that trickled across his blade. "Then she will watch Luna kom floukru die," he hissed as he stared at Lexa. "Slowly, then each of these prisoners in turn." He looked at Dax, then. "Then all of you, one by one, ending with you, general, before she will accompany me to Queen Nia anyway."

 

Dax was fuming, his feet itching to move and he was certain they might all die in this moment anyway, but not the way Kristof described it.

 

"Decide!" Kristof ordered, thrusting Luna a step forward as his blade teetered on slicing through her neck in one easy movement.

 

Lexa swallowed as her jaw rippled, her decision being made there and then.

 

"So be it," Kristof slurred as he yanked Luna's head back by her hair.

 

"Stop!" Lexa announced as she stepped forward, dropping her sword to the ground and moving just out of her people's reach. The gasp behind her was audible and it echoed around them as each trikru warrior realised what she was doing. "Alright," she continued, maintaining eye contact with Kristof and raising her palms only slightly in the air. "Take me to your Queen."

 

"Heda!" Dax shrieked, stepping forward himself. His eyes wide and jaw aghast. "No!"

 

Dax stepped forward again, this time flanked by his warriors and all of them lifted their swords as Luna mumbled from behind her gag in protest.

 

"Stay back!" Kristof shouted at him, pushing Luna into the arms of one of his warriors before he stepped behind Lexa, forcing his blade against her throat instead. "Tell them to back off," he told her. "Tell them!" and then to Dax; "I _will_ kill her."

 

Dax stopped in his tracks barely able to believe what was happening. He stared at Lexa, sword poised to strike and he faltered, her eyes telling him to calm down but still he couldn't comprehend it. "No," he whispered as shock swallowed up his words.

 

There was a moment while everything seemed to stand still, not even the Azgeda warriors believing it. Kristof even more so but he would more than take it.

 

"Dax," Lexa finally said, issuing him a warning.

 

"Heda," he responded quickly, fully expecting her to spring into action at any second and kill each of these Azgeda where they stood.

 

Her eyes though still tried to calm him and when she spoke her tone was severe. "Stand down."

 

Dax just shook his head, refusing to let this be it. He wanted to fight.

 

"Trust me," Lexa continued, her voice now much firmer.

 

The other Azgeda warriors all stepped forward and forced Dax's group back a little and with nothing else to do the general looked at his Commander, his expression falling as he was compelled to do as she said.

 

"Trust me," Lexa said again, and this time Dax relented.

 

He was panicked, however, and his gaze swept from his own warriors behind him to the ones on their knees in front of him and finally to Luna, still gagged and being held firm although she was just as panicked at Lexa's actions as he was. They were both in two minds and Dax wanted to charge Kristof, free his Commander or die trying.

 

"Remember your place, general," Lexa then shouted, glaring at him as if his disobedience was the only thing wrong with this situation. "Do as I say! Stand down."

 

Dax dropped his sword then, and he prayed that Gustus wouldn't be disappointed in him. "Yes, Heda," he finally acquiesced, gesturing at his warriors as he did so. "Down your weapons."

 

His warriors though stood there as much in shock as their general.

 

Dax turned to them. "Now!" A second later all trikru swords fell to the ground.

 

The grin across Kristof's face was the largest it had ever been and he couldn't wait to retell this to his Queen. He cackled, proud and pleased and ecstatic with the prisoner within his grip. "Take them all," he ordered, and then his warriors forced Dax and the remaining trikru to the ground.

 

Lexa easily slipped from Kristof's grip and away from his sword, turning and pushing him backwards so he almost fell over. "The deal was only for me," she growled through clenched teeth, knowing full well that with her people captured and their lives threatened there was little more she could do.

 

Her hands were quickly yanked behind her back, tied together roughly and only then Kristof approached her when he knew he wasn't in any imminent danger. "You believed we would honour a deal?"

 

The warrior who tied her hands then kicked at her legs from behind and sent her down to her knees. She seethed at the general, disgusted and repulsed by everything he stood for. "Nomonjoka," she spat at him.

 

All Kristof did was smile as he raised the hilt of his sword, cracking her over the head with it and then the Commander's world went black.

 

**

 

_The sounds of Polis were joyous. Music was playing and fires were raging as Lexa's people gathered around bonfires, sharing stories of their victories as well as food and drink alike. It was monumental, what they had achieved. What Lexa had achieved. A united peace throughout all clans waged through diplomacy, bribery and death. It was her life's work and although the people below probably didn't realise how their way of life would change, the hardest part was done. Agreements had been finalised, oaths sworn, sacrifices made and below her the people revelled, but Lexa felt none of it._

_How could she?_

_She had dreamed of this moment. Worked and trained for it, achieved it even though plenty said she could not. All of them were proved wrong and she had made history, forever to be remembered as the first Commander to bring peace to twelve warring clans yet for Lexa, there could be no celebrating. No banquet, no raised glasses and although chants of her name could be heard even up on her balcony, Lexa could find no solace in it._

_She took in a shaky breath and looked to the sky, her body still wrapped in the armour she wore throughout the final battle. The blood still thick on her hands as she couldn't find the energy to wash it off. Not since returning home, and not since it was all done._

_"I did it, Cos," she whispered, her eyes glistening with tears she was yet to shed and then she shrugged, her gaze wandering from star to star as if she was searching for something she'd never find. She shook her head. "What now?"_

_As usual she wasn't left alone for long even though it was her express wish to be so. It was Pius, and he approached the balcony slowly, his feet gliding along the stone floor wanting to cause as little disruption as possible. God knows Lexa had suffered enough._

_"Forgive me, Heda," he began, his hands clasped in front of him and his head dipped forward, a little. It pained him to see his charge so upset, so broken and what was worse was that he knew there was nothing he could do about it. Nothing anyone could do. "The Azgeda prisoners have been released, as you requested."_

_Lexa didn't respond. She just straightened her posture as she tried to hold back her emotions, her chin levelling out and her shoulders going back. The mere mention of anything Azgeda disgusted her but she knew she'd have to get a handle on that as now, of course, they were an equal part of the Coalition. She swallowed the lump in her throat and it hurt, all the way down to her gut._

_"All but Prince Roan," Pius tagged on, the distaste of bringing such a thing up making him uneasy but it was information Lexa had asked for, after all. "He remains in isolation."_

_Lexa's eyes went vacant, then, much like the gaping chasm in her chest. "Good," she muttered, her expression all of a sudden evening out as she realised, quite quickly, the extent of the wall she could put up in order to conceal the deepest parts of her soul. The one that wept and bled with no hope of healing. That could let itself out later, but not in front of Pius. Never in front of anyone. Lexa never wanted anyone to be able to perceive her as weak again._

_Pius felt the abruptness in her demeanour, the stoic harshness in her tone and he guessed quite rightly that this was now how the Commander was. It was what he had warned, after all, so many times but it certainly wasn't the way he wished her to learn the lesson. All he could do was try and ensure she'd never go through anything like this again. "Azgeda remain clueless that we have him."_

_On any other day Lexa would be pleased and smug to have such a prize but not even that could bring a smirk to her lips. She felt nothing about the hold she had over Azgeda with their Prince in her dungeons and she couldn't for the life of her think forward to how she could use him. She couldn't think anything past this conversation or this night. A night where there was no battle to ponder over, no strategic problem to solve or historic feud between this clan and that to dissolve before brands would be taken. There were no more pressing distractions to occupy Lexa's mind just the prospect of going to bed and waking up alone on this night, and the next, and then the next._

_"Good," Lexa repeated but this time it was a choked whisper. She blinked a few times before she hardened her tone once again. "Is there anything else?" All she wanted was for him to leave._

_Pius went to turn but he stopped himself. He wanted to say something, he needed to because through all of his teachings about sacrifice and the loneliness her mantle required, he never wanted this. Not for her, and that was a quandary in and of itself that he couldn't even begin to fathom. "She would be proud of you-"_

_Lexa's eyes slammed shut. "-Do not, Pius," she implored, but it came out all faint and scratchy. The emotion back and thick again and she fought hard to keep a hold of her walls. "Do not," she whispered softly._

_Pius felt choked too. His words catching in his throat and heart yearning for the girl in front of him who refused to turn around and honestly, he was scared for what he'd find if she did. "She would want you to celebrate this peace with your people." He knew she would, Costia was selfless and generous like that and he actually liked her a lot, for what it was worth. She would want Lexa to celebrate the future rather than mourn the past but those words he couldn't say. He had no voice for them, and whether they were true or not he knew they wouldn't make a difference. He knew how much they loved each other and was painfully aware how this must be torture for Lexa. For this Commander who would become legendary._

_Lexa swallowed and wished for herself to become stone. "This is only for my people. I can never know peace."_

_Pius' chest clenched and he was quickly more upset than he'd ever been. In that moment he would take it all back. Everything he'd ever said if Costia could be alive and well to celebrate this monumental evening with Lexa. She deserved that, and a whole lot more. "Heda-"_

_She did turn then, and pinned him with her hard gaze. "-Love is weakness," she interrupted. "Did you not teach me that?"_

_Pius was taken aback. There was nothing of the girl he knew present in those eyes, nor in her tone and he could only hold her gaze for a moment or so before he dropped it, blinking at the ground furiously._

_Lexa turned back to the view over Polis. "You may leave."_

_Pius knew there was nothing more to say and so he spun on his heel to obey her wish, leaving quickly with nothing but guilt following him._

_Lexa sucked in a deep breath and tried to sooth the intensifying palpitations in her chest but it was fruitless, really, and she let out a choked, pain-stricken gasp as she turned and collapsed against her balcony wall, the part that remained intact. She pushed her back against it as her knees came toward her chest, her blood stained hands massaging over her knees a few times as her chest refused to work properly. The breaths came quicker and harder while her throat bobbed and mind seemed to torment her. This was it now; the future she had planned for was going to happen, the one at least for her people and the one for herself lost and may as well be burned with the rest of the dead. With the rest of the sacrifices for her now formed Coalition._

_Lexa was certain this level of pain shouldn't exist. Not even for the worst of people. It burned and it boiled and made her want to disappear somewhere where she'd never have to experience it again. Somewhere where she'd never have to experience anything because life without Costia wasn't something she wanted to feel. In fact she was certain she'd never feel anything else again._

_She knew she'd have to lock this up, at some point, take a hold of it and hide it away. There was still a job to do, of course. A job she knew Costia would still want her to do and so she would, one way or another. She'd do it and be everything her people needed and she'd make sure she wouldn't feel this hurt again. She would deal with it, process it, bury it out in the sand perhaps but it wouldn't be tonight, because tonight she hurt._

_She lowered her forehead to her knees as the tears began to fall. Slowly at first but then faster as she wrapped her arms around her shins and wept for her love, her fallen people and everything else she'd lost._

 

**

 

Nia had long ago left them and so now Clarke walked only with Prince Roan, accompanied by three or so Azgeda guards who followed loosely behind. The Prince was at her side with a foot or so separating them and Clarke for the life of her couldn't figure him out. He didn't say much and although his stature was large and at first intimidating, he seemed to become less so as the day wore on.

 

He didn't intimidate, question or try to manipulate her. All things his mother had done since Clarke had been there. Instead he just walked slowly, occasionally glanced at her and kept his expression neutral, his lips turned up in a perpetual smirk that Clarke had come to realise was normal for him.

 

It was odd but really Clarke had bigger things to worry about. "Would be nice to know where we're going," she said quietly, her feet beginning to ache with the amount of walking they'd done. She had no idea how long they'd been going for but whenever they stepped out of wooden buildings and corridors and into the open she noticed the sun was at a definite low angle which meant dusk was certainly only a few hours away.

 

Roan just glanced at her, though, and then back in the direction they were headed.

 

"Your mother's wrong, you know," she tried again, using a different approach. "Lexa won't give herself up for me."

 

"As you keep saying." Roan's voice was deep and although it was quiet it gave the impression of echoing off the walls around them, regardless.

 

"It's the truth," Clarke bit back.

 

"Well," he responded as he came to an abrupt stop. "We'll soon see."

 

Clarke stopped as well. "What do you mean?"

 

Roan really did smirk this time and nodded at the path ahead of them. "My mother is waiting."

 

Clarke stared at the path and her heart took a definite lurch to the right inside her chest. She was nervous because if Nia was waiting, then what was Lexa doing?

 

Roan's voice was suddenly really close to her ear. "You better hurry," he whispered. "She is not a patient woman."

 

Clarke expelled a breath as she bit on her bottom lip and then headed along the path.

 

**

 

"Wanheda," Nia greeted, her pale, angled and bony face the first thing Clarke saw as she rounded the corner at the end of the path and stepped into a large clearing. "I trust you know everyone here."

 

As Clarke came further into the clearing it only took her a few steps to be in range of Nia and as her eyes swept around the area she couldn't believe what she saw. There were hundreds of Azgeda and Delfikru standing before them, all of them with their eyes upon her and the Queen. Their position was slightly elevated as the clearing dipped a bit giving Clarke, Nia and her guards somewhat of a height advantage over everyone else. Nia was definitely going to give some kind of speech. Perhaps announcing the possible Azgeda/Skaikru alliance and then Clarke saw them, as her gaze wandered over to the far right.

 

"Mom," Clarke whispered, her blood quickly running cold.

 

Abby's wrists were tied in front of her and she was gagged, pushed down onto her knees with a warrior standing guard behind her, his hand roughly gripping her shoulder. She looked scared, but Clarke couldn't get her feet to move.

 

She was utterly stunned and the breath rushed from her lungs making her lightheaded, her legs going weak as she noticed the rest of her people, the Coalition leaders as well all gagged and on their knees in a line either side of Abby.

 

Clarke felt her chest cave in and a strangled, painful sound escaped her lips. Octavia, Raven, Zeek, Lincoln, Marcus, Bellamy, Indra, Dax, Luna and countless others, all staring at her with the same panic in their eyes. The same desperation and helplessness. They all struggled but it was pointless; they each had a guard at their shoulder and at the far end of the line, the end closest to where Clarke stood a broad, muscular warrior was holding a chain that linked all of their tied wrists together.

 

Clarke was panicking and she had no idea what to do. A million thoughts rushed through her head but she couldn't make sense of any of them. She didn't understand, she had made Nia think an alliance was on the cards so why were her people prisoners?

 

She turned to the Queen, still with the same icy, stern and smug expression on her face and Clarke's hands quickly became fists at her side. "What are you doing?" she breathed heavily. Words coming to her with severe difficulty.

 

"It seems you are quite the distraction," Nia began as she strode to the front of their elevated area, pacing back and forth with a delusional loftiness that Clarke detested. "The desire to rescue you seemingly left everyone strategically inept." She gestured to her prisoners with an outstretched palm, chuckling sardonically as she swept her gaze over them. "Pathetic."

 

Clarke shook her head, not believing it at all. She knew without a doubt that her people, Skaikru, wouldn't just offer themselves up like this. They would make a plan, not surrender and even if they would, none of the others there would sacrifice themselves for her. Dax and Indra especially.

 

Something seemed to clear in Clarke's mind and she lifted her head, her eyes settling on the Queen. "Lexa's warriors wouldn't give themselves up for me."

 

Nia smiled, then. A wide and far-reaching one that stretched from ear to ear as her eyes crinkled and the sheer look of glee on her face was enough to turn Clarke's stomach.

 

"No," Nia agreed. "But they would for her."

 

Clarke would have laughed at the sheer absurdity of it. The ridiculousness if she didn't, somehow, know what was about to happen. Nia shouted something over her shoulder and then Lexa was brought out, her hands tied in front of her and Kristof following just behind her, pushing her all the way to the edge of where Clarke and Nia stood.

 

Clarke's eyes grew wide and a part of her died inside. She felt powerless, right then, and in total disbelief of what was happening. As Lexa came to a stop Clarke just stared at her, so close but yet unable to do anything that would make any difference. She wanted to ask Lexa what the _hell_ she was doing, she wanted to shake her and kiss her all at once. Slap her or something that would jolt her into action. Make her do something, _anything_ rather than what she was doing. Standing there as Nia's prisoner but of course she could do nothing or else her cover would be blown.

 

Clarke just hoped to God she was dreaming and she battled tenuously to keep her emotions hidden.

 

But Lexa looked at her, then, those wide and expressive green eyes that could look right through her and although her expression didn't falter, they told her everything she needed to know.

 

"You will not kneel for your Queen?" Nia scathed at Lexa, pulling the Commander's eyes from Clarke and the hatred that appeared in them couldn't be missed.

 

Lexa's gaze narrowed and her lip snarled, her heart thumping with the wretchedness she felt for the woman. "I would walk willingly to my own, agonising death before I kneel to you."

 

Nia though simply grinned and leaned forward, a little. "You will do both far sooner than you think."

 

Suddenly Lexa felt a boot at the back of her knee and she was instantly on the ground, Kristof's hand on her shoulder forcing her all the way down. Lexa growled, loud and deep and she shrugged at his hand, her eyes furious as she looked up at the Queen.

 

Nia laughed again and then she raised her voice, the speech Clarke knew was coming being shouted to the back of the clearing. "Lexa has proven herself unworthy of her leadership. She puts herself before her people; she is _weak_ , and undeserving of the mantle placed upon her. I, Queen of Azgeda have captured her and those loyal to her, and they will all meet their Heda's fate."

 

Lexa's eyes didn't leave Nia's face and they became darker and darker with each word that passed her lips. Clarke's level of apprehension though was through the roof. Her palms were sweaty and her gaze flicked frantically between Lexa, her mother and her friends.

 

"Clarke," Nia summoned after a few moments, her voice cutting through the atmosphere like it was made of ice. "Why don't you pick up your gun?"

 

Through some weird, unknown sense Clarke's gaze fell to her gun, placed neatly on the makeshift throne behind her as if she had known it was there all along. Suddenly, all sounds dulled and her eyes widened dramatically. She was drawn to it, and she picked it up quite quickly knowing she could point it at Nia and kill her there and then, and the thought granted her a substantial amount of pleasure.

 

She felt the butt slide in her palm a little, the sweat affecting her grip so she clenched it harder, keeping it down at her side as she forced herself not to raise it. If she shot Nia, than undoubtedly she, Lexa and everyone else would be next.

 

Nia cackled once more. "So," she began as she moved away and to the side of Clarke, standing opposite and as far away from Lexa as possible so she had the best view. "If you wish to prove your allegiance to Azgeda then it falls to you, mighty Wanheda."

 

Clarke swallowed, her limbs shaking with the dread she felt knowing now exactly what her final test was.

 

"Execute Lexa kom trikru, Commander of twelve clans or you and your people will join her in death."

 

Clarke's gaze fell to her gun in her hand and the only noise she could hear was the sound of her own heartbeat, and Lexa's. She looked up, her breathing erratic and her eyes now filled with emotion. She felt numb and then she turned to her mother, her expression filled with just as much panic as before as everyone else struggled against their restraints.

 

All of Lexa's people were imploring her, their voices muffled by their gags but still they protested. Still they begged for their Commander to resist.

 

Clarke though could only go through the motions and so she stepped closer to Lexa, her gaze again meeting those deep, emotion-fuelled eyes that she fell in love with and Clarke could only hope that this wasn't it.

 

"I'm sorry, Clarke," Lexa whispered, on her knees before her and Clarke felt the moisture start to sting her eyes.

 

Clarke lifted the gun and watched as the barrel trembled and then she pointed it at Lexa's head. "I'm not," her voice cracked, the words barely even there at all.

 

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
>  Translations.  
>  **
> 
>  
> 
>  _Delfikru._  
>  Delphi Clan.
> 
>  _Trikru._  
>  Tree Clan.
> 
>  _Azgeda._  
>  Ice Nation.
> 
>  _Skaikru._  
>  Sky People.
> 
>  _"Haiplana. Heda ste hir"._  
>  "My Queen. The Commander is here".
> 
>  _"Em gonakru?"_  
>  "And her army?"
> 
>  _"Imfou os. Emo nou kom taim op."_  
>  "The information was good. They will not arrive in time".
> 
>  _"Bos. Kigon kom strat."_  
>  "Excellent. Continue with the plan."
> 
>  _"Sha haiplana."_  
>  "Yes my Queen."
> 
>  _"Luna kom floukru."_  
>  "Luna of the boat people."
> 
>  _"Nomonjoka."_  
>  "Motherfucker."


	21. tweni won

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How can Lexa get out of this one? Let the battle commence!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well yes, its been forever hasn't it? I'm SO sorry, I really didn't intend for it to be left on such a cliffhanger but my life suddenly exploded, lol. You can also blame these little guys as they really have taken off amazingly quickly! You can find them over in my [etsy shop](http://gemstarraw.etsy.com) ;) 
> 
> So I wanted to get this up for you guys before Christmas and I've just about managed to do it :D I hope you enjoy it and there's still some more to come! I hope everyone can stick with me and see Clexa's happy ending unfold :)
> 
> I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and please leave me a comment if you can or you can as always find me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/talented_gemx) or [tumblr](http://talentedgemx.tumblr.com). Remember flashbacks are in italics :)

_Anya walked to the cliff edge, knowing that would be where she would find her. The little alcove within the mountain face which had always been one of Lexa's favourites ever since she had made the young nightblood climb to it. Anya easily sided around the edge even though it was twilight, knowing every crack and hole in the stone beneath her feet. She knew it well before she had taken Lexa there, always finding the peace that came with it so cleansing. It was the whole reason she had taken her second there in the first place, of course, knowing as she did in her bones that Lexa would become Heda, one day._

_Anya approached the alcove quietly and as Lexa came into view it only took a minute to take in her demeanour, the Commander's back straight and hands placed neatly on her knees as she sat on a large boulder and stared out over the precipice. Her face was calm but Anya knew the Commander was anything but. She moved closer and sat down next to her, looking out at the skyline too._

_"Pius is asking for you," Anya eventually said in a tone that indicated she was just as pissed off at his incessant asking as Lexa was._

_Lexa's one eyebrow subtly climbed her brow but that was the only movement she made. "When is he not?"_

_They both continued to stare ahead, the night-time hues dancing on the horizon and giving off a purplish, misty effect. Lexa had made no secret of avoiding Pius and anyone else who wanted to give her advice over the last few weeks, and everyone else just knew to give her a wide berth. It had been six weeks since Costia was murdered. Six weeks since Lexa had found her severed head next to their bed and six weeks since Lexa had died too. Or the good part of her, at least. The part that knew how to live. Now she just existed for the sake of her people. To bring peace so no one should suffer a loss like she had because otherwise, what would have been the point? There was no way Lexa was going to let Costia's death be for nothing, but that didn't mean that it wasn't bloody hard. That it didn't mean that her skin didn't crawl with the fact that Nia still lived and worse was now a part of her Coalition, protected and breathing and a l i v e._

_It made Lexa want to scream and damn the Coalition if it meant she could walk into Azgeda and slit the Queen's throat in front of everyone and honestly it had taken all of Anya's reasoning and Gustus' strength to stop her from doing that very thing, the night before the Queen took the brand. She hadn't slept for weeks and it would only have taken a simple movement, a quick flick of her wrist when Nia was knelt before her to take her own sweet revenge but she didn't, and till this day Lexa still couldn't quite believe that she didn't._

_But now there was widespread peace for the first time in all their years of history but in the Commander's head there was only chaos. The war between her head and her heart that she was trying to appease but it wasn't coming easy. Her head knew this was everything she had worked and toiled for but her heart .. well her heart wanted nothing but all out war._

_"It will become easier," Anya murmured softly._

_That did make Lexa move, this time, and her head turned slowly so her tired, weary eyes could rest on her mentor. "Will it?"_

_It broke Anya's heart how young Lexa sounded as it had done whenever they spoke in private over the last few weeks. Her chest ached for her young protégé and the pain she knew she was battling. Her only wish was that she could grieve for her._

_Anya nodded, her gaze still fixed on the horizon. "It will lessen, and you will move forward stronger than ever."_

_Lexa's eyes dropped a little, her focus waning as she let her weakness take over, just a bit, now Anya was there to be strong in her stead. "I don't feel strong," she whispered, afraid the wind may carry the words and expose her._

_Anya's resolve cracked a little, then, and she wished she had let Lexa kill Nia in retaliation weeks ago, even if it would've only sated her pain for a day or so. She knew though, that Nia wanted that retaliation. She wanted the clans plunged back into war and she wanted Lexa to be the one to wage it and Anya would be damned if the Queen deserved that satisfaction. She knew Nia's time would come, and she knew that Lexa would wield it._

_Anya's gaze dropped and so did her guard. "Heda, you are the strongest person I know."_

_Lexa's eyes dropped to her lap where her fingers had begun to play idly. They suddenly captured all of her attention. "I want her dead, Anya," she forced out through gritted teeth, a lump now forming in her throat. "She does not deserve the life I have granted her."_

_And this was the battle again, Anya knew, the Commander's heart talking now where her people couldn't overhear it. "She does not. You will kill her, Lexa. But not yet."_

_Lexa scoffed, disappointed. Her heart not happy with that at all. "Not yet," she repeated with a clenched jaw and retched sigh._

_"No," Anya said more firmly. "She will not destroy what you have built. Instead you will wait, and when the opportunity is upon you when she believes she has bested you, you will slaughter her." Anya's eyes lit up on the last two words as an image of a dead Ice Queen lying in her own blood quickly appeared in her mind's eye._

_Lexa nodded, transfixed on the eventuality, on the possibility and she felt in that moment like she could survive on that prospect alone. Her hands clenched into fists and she could almost feel the blade in her palm that she would use to slit Nia's throat. Her eyes flicked up to Anya's, the bloodlust inspiring the strength that she felt stir within her gut. "I will."_

**

 

Clarke closed her eyes. Her palms were sweating, especially the one holding her gun and the only thing she could hear aside from her own breathing, was Lexa's. She swallowed; the anticipation thundering through her and her own shaking was becoming more obvious to her with every second that passed. Clarke knew the chances of dying far out-weighed the ones of surviving but then of course she also knew there was one factor she could always count on, and she was on her knees before her.

 

Clarke opened her eyes and saw Lexa's wide green ones, steady and sure and confident staring right back at her, even in the impossible situation they found themselves in. _How had it come to this?_ was on repeat in Clarke's mind, along with a thousand what if's and maybe's and Clarke was suddenly very aware of how her chest rose and fell dramatically, like this was the moment everything in her life had lead to. The moment Clarke either killed the woman she loved or sentenced them all to death if she didn't. She could've broke, she would have, in fact, if the corners of Lexa's lips didn't suddenly upturn and a determined, nearly there smirk appear on her face. It made Clarke stop, and within a fraction of a second almost as if Lexa was willing her to act, Clarke instinctively knew what she had to do.

 

She had to _move_ and when she did, Lexa did too.

 

Clarke glanced up as she felt a slight pressure against her thigh and it would have made her jump if she didn't know what was about to happen. She licked her lips and pulled the gun away from Lexa's head and pointed it at the warrior who was guarding Dax; the one who held the chain that linked all of the prisoner's restraints together, holding it steady in his thick, strong hands. As soon as the barrel reached his chest Clarke fired, not even taking a moment to aim as she couldn't afford to give anyone time to react and then Dax was ducking down slightly to his side, and Lexa of course was already gone.

 

She was like lightning.

 

Even with her hands tied in front of her Lexa easily slipped the concealed blade from Clarke's pants and curled it around Clarke's body as she rolled to the side, using the momentum to fling the blade through the air and impact Nia at the top of her shoulder, just at the base of her neck. And then it was chaos.

 

Clarke shot the first of the Azgeda warriors that came at her, picking them off one by one until her chamber was empty but that was all the time it took for the prisoners to realise what was happening and jump into action. Dax and Indra moved first, freeing themselves as soon as they felt the chain go slack before ploughing forward to protect Lexa from further oncoming warriors as she moved toward Nia.

 

It was only a matter of seconds before the rest of the prisoners were free, each of them turning on their guards and wrestling them to the ground however they could, using their fists and grappling for weapons so they could free their wrists entirely. Zeek was the first one free, even in his injured state and he immediately ran for Clarke knowing she would be an easy target once she ran out of bullets. He intercepted one Azgeda warrior who was charging her, sending him heavily to the ground as he took his sword, slicing through another two warriors before he jumped in front of Clarke, taking an arrow to his shoulder blade just in time to stop it from hitting her.

 

"Zeek!" Clarke exclaimed, surprised to see him on his feet let alone barging into battle.

 

Zeek stumbled toward her and leaned his weight against her palms as she held them out, trying to steady him. "Get down," he told her, everything going a little woozy as he dropped to his knees taking Clarke down with him.

 

Bellamy noticed the movement from quite a distance back, just getting done with killing an Azgeda warrior as he was knelt over his body, pulling a dagger out of the fallen warriors gut. Bellamy was breathing hard, his short curly hair falling into his eyes and he quickly surveyed the space around him, his eyes instantly finding Octavia who was over the opposite side of the clearing, fighting beside Lincoln and a few other Trikru. Kane was close to Abby with Miller and Jackson, and Monty and Raven were with Luna and some others, all battling bravely however they could.

 

Bellamy glanced to Lexa, his jaw clenching a little as she took down every warrior who was standing in her way and then his attention was drawn to Kristof, standing only a few metres from him and Bellamy instantly knew he was the one who fired the arrow at Clarke.

 

The Azgeda general was getting angrier by the second and he threw his bow to the ground in rage when he saw his arrow strike Zeek instead of Clarke. He drew a dagger from his belt in disgust and then moved toward Clarke with only one thing on his mind. A moment later though Bellamy stepped in front of him, stopping Kristof abruptly and blocking the path to his target. There was a moment of hesitation in the general's eyes and instead of killing Bellamy where he stood he simply gripped at his dagger harder and growled at him when he spoke.

 

"Move," Kristof ordered, his eyes flicking from Bellamy to where Clarke and Zeek had crumpled to the ground in the distance over his shoulder.

 

"No," Bellamy responded flatly, taking advantage of the general's distraction to plunge his own dagger quickly into Kristof's chest.

 

The general's eyes grew wide as his focus moved back to Bellamy, an aura of disbelief circling him as his free hand reached out and gripped at Bellamy's shoulder. His breath caught in his throat as realisation set in, his knees weak as he slowly slumped to them, not believing at all how stupid he had just been.

 

" _Natrona_ ," Kristof spat as he slumped to the ground, his body sliding off the blade as Bellamy stared at him, the life leaving the general's body and then Bellamy glanced around again before he jumped right back into the fray.

 

Every warrior was engaged in battle, all of them fighting for either Lexa or Nia and although it was chaotic, it didn't last that long.

 

The moment the blade left Lexa's fingertips the Commander was on a mission. She was determined and she absolutely knew nothing would stop her this time from achieving her goal. As soon as Lexa dived to the side of Clarke and rolled to her feet, the blade having struck Nia and sending her barrelling to the floor Nia's guards sprang into action and went for Lexa. They swung their swords at her but she deftly dodged each blow, ensuring one of the swipes sliced through the rope around her wrists freeing her immediately.

 

In a single fluid motion Lexa took a dagger from one of the guard's belts and deflected all attacks, parrying them one after the other and swiping back at each guard, disarming and disabling every one that came at her in her attempt to get to Nia. Each guard fell and although some managed to successfully cut at the Commander's skin that was all they were collectively able to do. She moved easily among them, dropping them like flies as Nia gradually backed herself against the far wall having nowhere to run unless her warriors cleared her a path.

 

It felt like a lifetime for the Ice Queen, panic rampant in her eyes as an eager, bloodthirsty Lexa got closer and closer until the Commander ploughed through the last of Nia's personal guard, the rest of her Azgeda warriors being held back by Indra, Dax and their Coalition forces a few feet away. Lexa slid on her knee's under the blade of the final Azgeda guard, her head tipped back before she straightened to her feet, spinning on her heel and slicing the guard across his chest with her sword and them jabbing at his ribs with the dagger in her other hand.

 

The guard fell to the floor and then there was just the two of them, Lexa dropping her sword so she was only left with her dagger as her fist clenched tightly around it, her knuckles turning as white as her eyes and Lexa could think of nothing else in that moment other than _killing_ her, in the most horrific way possible.

 

Nia's hand was at her neck trying to stem the flow of blood that crept around the side of her palm and trickled down her arm in a steady flow. It made Lexa's heart beat faster, her chest rising and falling erratically as years of hatred rolled through her, over and over along with every idea of how Nia might have tortured Costia presenting itself and reminding her, flashing vividly behind her eyes.

 

Lexa clenched her jaw and bared her teeth as she took a tiny step toward Nia, her body barely able to contain her fury and then in an instant she was on Nia, pinning her up against the wall with the blade across and digging into her throat, Lexa's face glaring up at her mere millimetres away as Nia angled hers up and just to the side.

 

Lexa was seething, never being as close to Nia as she was in that moment and if she could push her through the wall by pure will alone Lexa would. It felt like her skin was crawling, like every inch of her was itching with blind and unrelenting rage. Her muscles shook and her eyes didn't blink, her breath forcing out between clenched teeth as she felt her revenge finally begin to take over. It felt _good_ , and Lexa surrendered into it willingly. She cared nothing for the proper way of things, then, everything was too good for Nia and nothing Lexa could do to her would ever repair the pain and heartbreak she had lived through at her hand _but_ , Lexa thought, she could make her wish she had never laid a hand on Clarke, as that in the end had been the Ice Queen's undoing.

 

"My rage would drive me now to hack your flesh away and eat you _raw_ , such agonies you have caused me," Lexa forced into Nia's skin, spitting the words at her as they crawled up her windpipe and scratched at the insides of her throat before she pushed them past her lips. Lexa pressed her blade even harder into Nia's skin. "Even that death would be _too_ good for you."

 

"So do it, _Lexa_ ," Nia whispered, her voice ragged and strained. "Before my warriors overturn yours and your chance is gone."

 

Lexa stared at her, her eyes darting from Nia's left one to her right and back again as she considered what that could mean. Even though her back was turned Lexa was more than aware that Nia's warriors were in no position to overturn anything. She knew Indra and Dax held the line and her Coalition warriors were holding their own in the battle. All it would take was one shout that Nia was captured and that would be the end of it. No one else was coming to help; Azgeda had fallen and Nia knew it as much as Lexa did.

 

A smug grin began to form on Lexa's lips and her eyes danced a little with her impending victory before her bloodlust took hold once more. "Azgeda is no match for _my_ Coalition," Lexa hissed, spinning Nia in front of her so she could see the battle unhindered. "Look." She pushed Nia forwards a little, forcing her to see what was happening and then she pushed her to her knees, keeping the blade pressed tightly to her throat. "So the last thing you see is the fall of your nation."

 

It was all Nia could see and if she chose to think about it she would wonder how the hell Lexa was able to turn the tide in this way but she didn't. She just knelt there and hoped for an intervention. Kristof was still out there, after all, and Roan.

 

"Hod op!" Lexa commanded, her tone ripping across the clearing causing the warriors closest to her to lessen their fighting. "Hod op!" she repeated, a little quieter this time but no less domineering. "Yu haiplana don teik daun."

 

The majority stopped and spun to where Lexa was standing, the Ice Queen beaten and on her knees before her.

 

Dax's head spun around and then back again, easily disarming the warrior he was fighting before he quickly jumped to action after a slight nod from his Commander.

 

"Down your weapons!" Dax ordered, his voice bellowing across the open space as he moved a little along the line he'd been holding with Indra, not wanting to step too far away from Lexa. "All Azgeda and her allies, your Queen is beaten. Drop your weapons and surrender, or she dies."

 

For a moment the Azgeda warriors were unsure of what to do. They looked around as if trying to find their next in command however Kristof wasn't anywhere to be found.

 

"You heard him," Roan interjected, appearing from toward the side of the clearing and then he strode purposefully toward its centre, just as covered in blood as everyone else. He met Dax's eyes and then he looked to Lexa and finally rested his eyes on Nia. "Nomon," Roan said quietly, her throat held tightly by Lexa's free hand and her head bent at an awkward angle making it difficult to speak even if she wanted to.

 

If she did talk she would order Roan to keep fighting which is exactly what Lexa didn't want and so she pressed her blade heavier still into the flesh of her throat and caught Roan's gaze again to give him a pointed look.

 

Roan evened out his expression and took in a breath. "Chil yo daun," he shouted over his shoulder, his tone firm and rigid and sure enough every member of Azgeda and those who supported Nia dropped their weapons, the members of Skaikru taking in a collective sigh of relief.

 

Indra automatically started barking orders at her warriors, getting them to surround their now captured prisoners and usher them into the centre of the clearing. Dax turned and approached Lexa, the anger still raging behind her eyes however after asking her a silent question with a quirk of his brow the Commander stepped back and he took her place behind Nia, quickly tying her hands behind her back and bringing her to her feet. As he ordered a few warriors to take up guard around both Lexa and Nia, Lexa for the first time averted her gaze from the Ice Queen and sought out Clarke who was still not at all far from where Lexa knelt before her.

 

Immediately Lexa's eyes softened and a different emotion altogether suddenly came upon her, warming her chest and steadying her heart. Clarke was well, she surmised as her eyes roamed quickly over her assessing any possible damage. There was none, aside from a few cuts and scrapes as far as she could tell and to the world Lexa's expression remained the same; stoic, war-beaten and battered as to be expected but not to Clarke. To Clarke there was a smile and a warmth in her eyes that radiated across the distance between them and Clarke couldn't help but smile in return.

 

Lexa nodded her head, just once, a promise of a discussion they would have later but then she turned around again, the captured warriors all now rounded up and Nia restrained properly to her right. The Commander looked at Indra, still co-ordinating the prisoners and she nodded to indicate they were all unarmed and accounted for.

 

"This battle is over," Lexa began, having no intention of making any grandiose speeches as those were for announcing victory in Polis. Right then her body ached, her muscles were sore and she was still just about holding back the atrocities she wanted to bestow upon the Ice Queen. There were protocols, however, and now she'd had a moment to breathe she wasn't one to renege on her own laws no matter how much she might be entitled to it. Her shoulders went back and her chin came up, her hand still holding onto her dagger like it was trapped permanently in her fist.

 

"Nia's reign over Azgeda is at an end-"

 

 _"Stumucha,"_ Nia spat, the skin of her neck and shoulder now dyed red with her own blood and she looked like she might drop to the ground if she wasn't being held up by two guards.

 

"Shof op!" Dax growled, standing just to Nia's right.

 

Nia however remained glaring at Lexa and continued her slur regardless. "Yu _kwelen_. Yu na kwelen otaim."

 

Dax then turned to Nia, slapping her clear across the face. " _Pleni!_ " he yelled at her. "You _will_ show your Commander some respect!"

 

Nia spat the blood the slap produced to the ground as Lexa came to a stop just a few feet from her, Lexa's nails beginning do draw blood from her palm as she was holding onto her dagger so tightly.

 

"It is okay, Dax," Lexa said in a tone that betrayed the fury she was feeling. "She has no respect." Lexa's eyes were deadly and she _itched_ to end the life of the woman in front of her. A woman who had brought her nothing but pain and anguish and it would be _so_ easy to just gut her there and then.

 

It was her own laws that were stopping her. The laws that were in place to allow each person the guilty had wronged to exact their revenge by means of cutting and as much as it hurt Lexa to allow this woman to live a minute longer, she hadn't got this far in her Command by choosing which laws she lived by.

 

"You are sentenced to death, Nia of Azgeda, for breaking the treaty you were bound to and attempting to overthrow this Coalition."

 

"I care not for your Coalition-"

 

Dax slapped her again and this time Nia's head remained slouched to the side, a low murmur coming from her lips before she began to cackle.

 

The Ice Queen then squarely raised her chin, the grin on her face sickening and mouth completely bloody. "You are no Commander of mine."

 

Lexa's eyes flared and she went to move forward, her body beginning to shake with the fury she felt as she was beginning to lose all sense of propriety. "Your reign is over, Nia," Lexa seethed under her breath. "You will die, as will all those who follow you so no trace of the Ice Queen will ever remain." Lexa let Nia acknowledge her words before she turned around and took a few steps away to put some distance between them. She tried to take a breath to sooth her chest but it really didn't work.

 

"But you will remember me, Lexa, I know you will," Nia continued bitterly and then an idea came to her. "Would you like to know how she begged?"

 

Lexa immediately stiffened, her muscles turning rigid beneath her skin.

 

"How she screamed and cried and prayed for you to save her?"

 

Lexa heard Dax draw his sword and so she turned to hold her hand out to him. "Hod op," she ordered, and there was just a moment of silence before his sword slid back into its sheath.

 

Nia was still staring at Lexa, her eyes narrow and calculating as she attempted to cause as much damage as possible while she still could. "But you didn't, did you?" she scoffed aloud, shaking her head at the memory. " _Coward._ "

 

"The kill is yours, Heda," came Indra's voice a little way out to Lexa's left and all it took was a quick glance at her people, those who had followed her from the beginning for Lexa to know none of them would hold it against her. That none of them would deny their Heda this kill if she wanted to take it.

 

And how she did _want_.

 

It didn't take much and Lexa was in front of Nia in an instant. Her breathing surprisingly calm and her muscles this time not shaking once.

 

"She cried for you," Nia still taunted, knowing that this was likely it. Her last chance to do some damage. "But you didn't come."

 

"No she did not," Lexa responded in a tone that sounded like death itself, her fingers locked in place around the hilt of her dagger.

 

"Oh she did."

 

"No," Lexa snapped her reply, her eyes glaring into Nia's waning, bloodshot ones. "She would not give you that satisfaction. She was stronger than you and I combined."

 

Nia opened her mouth to speak but Lexa had really had enough. The dagger's blade pierced Nia's rib cage and plunged in, Lexa feeling the satisfaction with every sinew of tissue it cut through and then she twisted it, the cry Nia let out ripping through the silence that had fallen over the clearing.

 

Lexa leaned in to Nia's ear, the venom clearly dripping from her words. "And yet you scream like a wounded animal, a pathetic, lame, soulless animal that is not even worth an honourable death." Lexa angled the blade up and continued thrusting it into her, not caring an inch about her audience or the guttural, cracking noises Nia's body was producing. "You die shamed with no one to mourn you, and I will make sure your name is forgotten so there is not even a shadow of you that remains."

 

There was a final gasp of air as Nia's body gave out and then she hung lifelessly on the end of Lexa's dagger, her body still being held up by the guards who then both let her go, causing her to slump to the ground with an echoing thud.

 

The Commander stared for a moment, her eyes taking in every millimetre of Nia's now lifeless body and then she removed her blade and straightened up, her lungs filling with air that felt lighter than any she had breathed before. She wiped the dagger on her thigh and then turned to look over her people, all staring back at her with a mix of horror and pride. "Imprison them all," she ordered flatly, "including the Prince. Tomorrow they will be dealt with."

 

"Sha, Heda," Dax and Indra responded in unison as Lexa marched across and out of the clearing.

 

**

 

Clarke watched Lexa go and her immediate reaction was to follow her. It was difficult though, getting her head around the myriad of emotions that were flowing through her; everything from fear and anxiety to revulsion, if she was honest, for the way in which she just witnessed Lexa kill Nia. Not that it wasn't deserved, but watching Lexa be so bloodthirsty and ruthless when she knew her to be so soft and gentle underneath it all well, it was a little disconcerting to say the least.

 

Clarke went to get up but as she moved she jostled Zeek who was still half over her, somewhere between protecting her and being too injured to move.

 

"Zeek," Clarke breathed as she heaved him off her, causing him to roll onto his back with a fully voiced groan. "Shit, are you okay?" she asked as she got to her knees, quickly trying to assess how badly hurt he was this time. Her hands flew over him checking if he was actually bleeding or just covered in blood. "Are you hurt?"

 

Zeek groaned again and somehow managed to shuffle up onto one elbow. "Yes," he grumbled. "Are you?"

 

It was then that Clarke felt something break inside of her. As she crouched there with a barely conscious warrior in her arms, as her friends and new acquaintances milled and organised themselves around her having survived an epic battle and impossible situation did Clarke feel the tension lift and then she laughed. Freely and inappropriately she laughed until Zeek grumbled again and tried to get a little more comfy on the ground.

 

"I'm fine, Zeek," Clarke finally replied, as if it would be any other way with such a dedicated bodyguard by her side. She brushed her palm over his injured shoulder and he winced and almost curled up in pain. "You've got to stop getting your ass kicked for me, okay?"

 

Zeek looked at her. "My ass is fine," he retorted. "It is the rest of me that hurts."

 

Clarke paused as she stared at him, her jaw a little agape as his words sunk in, her expression crinkling in disbelief. "Was that a joke?"

 

Zeek kept his face straight for a moment or so before a smile broke out across his lips and he laughed too, Clarke chuckling along with him. "You are a bad influence, Wanheda."

 

Clarke couldn't stop laughing and it was such a great release of emotion it almost brought her to tears but she managed to keep herself in check. As her shoulders ceased their shaking and she pulled Zeek into a sitting position Abby came over to her, immediately wrapping Clarke up in a massive hug.

 

"Clarke," Abby whispered as she held her daughter close, breathing her in as if she expected to never see her alive again. "Thank God you're safe."

 

"I'm fine, Mom," Clarke replied softly, her own arms enveloping her mother's waist. "I'm fine."

 

Abby pulled back and held Clarke's face in her hands, her thumbs running deftly over her cheekbones. "I can't believe it."

 

Clarke felt the emotion again as she sniffled back a breath. "I know. Miraculous, huh?"

 

Abby eagerly nodded her head and then she shook it, feeling the weight of emotion too. "I thought we were all going to die."

 

"Not a miracle," Zeek uttered from his place on the ground as every inch of his body protested. He pulled himself back against the wall but somehow he managed to keep a smile on his face and then he nodded his head toward Abby. "I told you Heda would not disappoint you."

 

Abby dropped her hands from Clarke's face and exhaled an exaggerated breath down at the warrior. "Yes you did," she smiled as she crouched at his side to check his vitals. "But not even you, Zeek, can tell me you thought she would get us out of that."

 

"I did," Zeek grinned at her. "I didn't know how but I knew she would."

 

"Lexa," Clarke whispered and then she turned her head in the direction the Commander had walked off in. "I have to go find her." She turned back to Abby and Zeek. "You'll make sure he's okay, mom?" she asked, backing away slowly.

 

"He'll be fine, Clarke, but make sure you're careful out there!"

 

Clarke though was already gone.

 

**

 

Bellamy saw Clarke sprint away from the clearing and went to follow her but a strong hand grabbed his arm and prevented him from leaving. He shrugged out of the grip and turned to see an exceptionally bloody looking Lincoln staring right back at him.

 

"Lincoln," Bellamy said a little taken aback. "What is it?" he asked, his eyes darting around for a moment. "Where's O?"

 

"She's fine," Lincoln reassured him. "She's helping Indra with the prisoners."

 

Bellamy nodded. "Okay, so what do you need?"

 

Lincoln looked him squarely in the eye trying to gauge what kind of a reaction he was going to get before he just came out with it anyway. "I need to know why Kristof didn't kill you."

 

Bellamy stopped. "What?"

 

"The Azgeda general," Lincoln clarified, knowing full well that Bellamy knew exactly what he was talking about.

 

They remained staring at each other until Bellamy broke eye contact and busied himself by continuing to retrieve fallen weapons from the area around him. "I know who he is."

 

"Then tell me," Lincoln carried on, keeping just a few feet behind Bellamy. "Why didn't Kristof kill you when you blocked his path?"

 

Bellamy shrugged. "I guess he wasn't quick enough."

 

Lincoln laughed, then, short and sharp and it made Bellamy turn and face him. "No. He said something to you. What was it?"

 

"Look, Lincoln," Bellamy sighed, toying with the blades he had collected. "I can't remember. I saw him going for Clarke so I blocked his way and then I stabbed him. That was it."

 

Lincoln was looking at him as though he didn't believe an inch of it. "General's aren't usually so easy to kill."

 

Bellamy shrugged again and held his hands out at his sides for a moment. "Well, maybe he wasn't as great a warrior as everyone thought and maybe _I_ am better than you give me credit for."

 

Lincoln pushed out a breath but before he was able to speak again Bellamy cut him off. "Just be glad he's dead, okay? The Queen is dead, the general is dead and the Prince is locked up. It's a good day, Lincoln. We did good," and then he patted Lincoln on the shoulder. "Let's just leave it at that." Bellamy pushed past him and headed toward Kane, leaving Lincoln just as suspicious as he was to begin with.

 

**

 

Clarke found her out in the dwindling sunlight, the last remnants of the sun soon to disappear over the edge of the horizon but instead of taking in the fading amber hues, Lexa instead was gazing upward, high above her head and into the vastness of the rapidly approaching night sky. The expression on her face was on the verge of content, her brow only slightly furrowed as if she was half way to searching for something, but also safe in the knowledge that she had already found it.

 

"Lexa," Clarke ventured softly as she stopped just a few feet from her. Not wanting to startle her or interrupt whatever might be going on in her head.

 

Lexa didn't move. Her eyes were already closing and so on hearing Clarke's voice she let them fall all the way and her semi-content smile grew into a more complete and fulfilled grin.

 

It made Clarke tilt her head slightly and then she felt confident enough to probe a little further. "Are you okay?"

 

Lexa opened her eyes then, and the peacefulness that filled her expression was practically contagious. She felt warm and her heart struck a deep and solid rhythm inside her chest. She felt good and almost renewed, like she was ready to start whatever was to come next. With Clarke. Always with Clarke.

 

The bloodlust and hatred that consumed her in the clearing seemed to had passed and the Commander was much more like herself or she was at least, the softer and warmer part of herself that she often showed to Clarke.

 

"We are taught that in death we become the stars," Lexa finally said, her voice sounding just as content as she looked. "You lived amongst them, Clarke," she continued, glancing sideways at her. "You will tell me such an idea is foolish."

 

Clarke felt the warmth too. As strange as it was in the evening chill. It radiated from Lexa in that moment so Clarke had little option but to share in it and feel just as warm and soft in return. It made her feel optimistic and perhaps for the first time it made the reality of a peaceful, warless future seem like it could actually happen. "I would never tell you that," she responded in a whisper, her lips stretching into a gentle smile to match the one on Lexa's face.

 

Lexa nodded then, her eyes becoming wide as the stars started to come into view and somehow, her smile spread that little bit wider. It made Clarke glance up too and although it wasn't the first time she'd looked up at the night sky from the ground it felt incredibly different, now. Nia was gone and her allies were imprisoned. Her mother was open to joining the Coalition and no one, as far as she knew wanted to kill her, or Lexa, or anyone else and what a marvellous feeling that was. She knew it must be what Lexa was thinking too and it was indeed an amazing thing.

 

The sky really _did_ look different in peacetime.

 

After a few moments of basking in such a beautiful sight with Lexa right there within arm's reach, Clarke turned and looked at her again and wanted to ask about the other thing that she knew Lexa must be thinking about. Clarke had known it as soon as she saw her standing in the shadow of the sun. "Have you told her the Ice Queen is dead?" she asked, her voice as low and as soft as possible.

 

Lexa's face actually lit up as soon as the words passed Clarke's lips and her eyes danced a little, too. She really was beautiful when she was happy and in Clarke's opinion it really didn't happen enough. "She knows," Lexa answered, honestly appreciating the fact that Clarke would bring up Costia. Such a thing made her heart happy.

 

Clarke seemed to sense it and so she continued. "She would be proud of you."

 

Lexa's brow flickered, a little, and her head tilted just to the side. "She would not be proud of my vengeance."

 

Clarke wasn't certain about that. Surely if anyone deserved vengeance it was Lexa. And Costia. "Are you sure?" she asked with a raised brow of her own.

 

Lexa thought for a few moments, deciding how best she could phrase it. "Costia was a lot like you," she began, her eyes tilting up again toward the sky. "She would prefer a way where everyone could live."

 

Clarke pushed out a breath. "Well, Nia made that impossible."

 

Lexa nodded minutely, knowing it was true.

 

"Maybe she wasn't that much like me," Clarke started, causing Lexa to glance at her for a moment. "I think your actions were justified."

 

Lexa's brow rose up again. "You do?"

 

Clarke shrugged. "Well it was her or us."

 

"Ah," Lexa breathed, the grin remaining on her face. "So it was simply survival."

 

Clarke nodded, thinking that assessment was fair. "Two birds," she smirked with an edge of humour, Lexa turning to look at her quizzically needing Clarke to clarify. "One presented an opportunity for the other. Doesn't matter which reason is the truth."

 

"It does matter, Clarke."

 

Clarke knew she was one of the only people who Lexa could talk to like this, even if her sudden attack of conscious was grossly misplaced. It was an honour to be able to share the Commander's secrets but Clarke really did think Lexa was being far too hard on herself if she thought she didn't deserve her vengeance after all this time. "You let her live for years after what she did. She wanted to end your Coalition and kill you." Clarke shook her head. "It's not like you had much choice."

 

Lexa thought for a moment. "Perhaps."

 

Clarke could still see an edge of a smile on Lexa's lips so she knew this conversation was only semi-serious. Or at least that's what she hoped. "What would Costia think?"

 

That made Lexa smile fully again, knowing full well what she would have thought. "Costia would look at me and know the truth," she said as she turned to Clarke properly, then. "As you do."

 

"Well," Clarke grinned, facing Lexa too. "Outwardly we can say whatever we want, vengeance or not. It was her or us."

 

They maintained eye contact then, just staring softly at each other until the fingers of one of Clarke's hands crept forward and reached out toward Lexa's, linking them together and Lexa accepted the touch fully, glancing down at their now joined hands.

 

Clarke was troubled, though, her own words making her think over what happened, her thoughts easily returning to when Lexa was kneeling before her at the top of the clearing. "Lexa," she started, her voice going a little scratchy. "How did you know I hadn't already used it?"

 

Lexa's brow furrowed, lost somewhat at the abrupt turn of conversation. She glanced up and Clarke met her gaze.

 

"The blade."

 

Lexa pulled in a small breath as she immediately understood what Clarke was talking about and then she shrugged, a little, as she thought about it. "I did not."

 

Clarke frowned heavily, a million thoughts accompanied by a million scenarios flashing through her mind at what could've happened if the blade hadn't of been there. Clarke's tone turned but their fingers continued to play. "But Lexa, you could have _died_."

 

Lexa could see how uneasy this was making Clarke so she kept her voice as smooth as possible and gently ran her fingers in a soothing motion over the back of her hand. "We all could have, Clarke."

 

That wasn't good enough though, as far as Clarke was concerned and more and more questions continued to flash through her mind. How did they even manage to capture Lexa, anyhow? It made Clarke pause. "You got yourself captured on purpose?"

 

Lexa's eyebrows arched and she once again tilted her head to the side. She had to be honest, that much she knew. "An opportunity presented itself to mount an attack from within, rather than from without."

 

Clarke was startled by that and if Lexa wasn't holding onto her she probably would have backed away. Instead she just glared at the Commander as her eyes grew wide and her mouth fell open, a little.

 

"An attack from the outside held far too many unknowns. You could have been anywhere; killed immediately upon our attack and Nia could have vanished back to Azgeda. From inside I quickly knew where everyone was. All in one place."

 

Clarke shook her head, struggling to understand. "But, you can't have possibly known-"

 

"-If we would all live?" Lexa cut in, trying to appease Clarke's worrisome mind. "No I did not but the chances were better, letting Nia think she had the upper hand."

 

Clarke was still struggling but in end she just smiled, more or less in disbelief as she couldn't after all they'd just been through bring herself to argue with those big and wide green eyes, looking back at her with such compassion and warmth. But then it wouldn't be Clarke if she didn't question. "But what if I had used the blade?" she pushed, her tone light and her fingers wiggling Lexa's between her own. "What would you have done then?"

 

Lexa exhaled deeply, her body taking a half step closer to Clarke. "Luckily we do not need to ask ourselves that question."

 

Clarke just couldn't believe the gamble and she almost rolled her eyes with it. They all could be dead right then the chances of Lexa's plan balancing on such a thin tightrope. "But-"

 

"-Clarke," Lexa interrupted, leaning into her a little closer. "Life is one big gamble, especially _this_ life. If there had been more guards between us and Nia, if your bullet hadn't found the guards chest. If my throw had been off and I hadn't caught Nia's throat-"

 

"-Your throw would never be off," Clarke smiled, cutting in herself.

 

Lexa stopped and smiled as she saw Clarke's smirk, her voice lowering so it merely rumbled between them. "Everything happened as it was meant to. That is why we are standing here right now. We make things happen, or we do not. We choose our own fate and _this_ , Clarke, is exactly where we are meant to be."

 

Clarke just stared at her, a little bit awestruck and still more than a little confused but suddenly her voice was gone and she was at a complete loss as to what to say. Her chest felt full and the way Lexa was looking at her, like she was the only person who mattered in the entire world and that was why she just risked _everything_ to save her and it honestly made Clarke's entire body feel _weak_.

 

It is why she was Commander, wasn't it? Why people like Pius, Dax and Indra would follow her blindly wherever she wanted to take them and why young warriors like Zeek and Sienna idolised her. It was because she _risked_ and because she _won_. The greatest Commander to ever live, Zeek had said. She will not disappoint you.

 

Clarke opened her mouth to say something but Lexa shook her head gently and the breadth of her smile simply cut her off. "You ask too many questions, Clarke kom Skaikru."

 

It made Clarke chuckle. "You only just realising that?" she asked with a whisper, her fingers getting lost in the material at the front of Lexa's jacket as she was overcome with both the desire to drop to Lexa's feet and worship her and slap her hard across the face at the same time. Clarke sighed and shook her head, not at all knowing which one was more appropriate given the circumstances as her fingers almost fisted in the material before releasing it again just as quickly. It was amazing, what Lexa had just done. Defeating both Nia and Azgeda when everything was about to fall apart. It really was miraculous. So gung-ho and risky but yet there they stood; living and breathing and _whole_.

 

"What is it?" Lexa whispered as she angled her head down at Clarke, her own fingers moving to rest on Clarke's hips.

 

"You really are this good of a Commander, aren't you?" Clarke breathed in response, her gaze focusing on her fingers that were now pushing into the fur which lined the edges of the Lexa's coat.

 

Lexa's voice dropped to a low murmur that practically pulsed through Clarke like some kind of sonic shock. "I do not think I would be anything, without you."

 

Clarke's eyes fell closed as she felt Lexa's lips ghost against her forehead, Clarke's hands bracing this time in her coat as Lexa's hands pulled her closer. "I doubt that's true," Clarke responded quietly, but if Lexa she ignored it and finally, the desire that won out against those warring others when she felt Lexa's lips against her skin, was the desire to kiss her.

 

Lexa's right hand left Clarke's hip and she pressed her forefinger beneath Clarke's chin, lifting her face the tiny distance so Lexa could lean down and close the space between them.

 

The kiss was everything, a culmination of each moment that lead up to this very second; warm and gentle and all-encompassing. It stole the air from Clarke's lungs and she felt her essence reach out desperately, clinging even tighter onto Lexa than her fingers in her coat could manage. Clarke felt like she could stay there forever, as she felt the Commander's presence wash over her right down to her toes and she knew she was safe. That wherever Lexa would go she would follow because she loved her, and God how she'd missed her. Missed her touch and her words and her lips and it had taken this for Clarke to realise that life was too short to harbour doubts. To be so careful as to not trust Lexa with her heart. They could both easily be dead but instead she was lucky enough to be alive and standing there, with such a formidable woman falling in love with her right back and there was no way Clarke was going to take that for granted again.

 

As Lexa slid her tongue across Clarke's bottom lip to deepen the kiss Clarke reached up with her hand and found the back of Lexa's neck, pulling her closer as she moaned into the Commander's mouth. Lexa's arms enveloped Clarke's waist tightly, her one hand slipping up and under Clarke's jacket, massaging softly at her skin through the thin material of her shirt.

 

Lexa felt like she was floating away. Lost immediately in the depths of a gentle kiss with the woman she thought she had lost forever. It was difficult to keep the emotion from gathering just below the surface of the Commander's carefully constructed demeanour, but then Clarke had always been good at dismantling her. She couldn't believe how lucky she was. How fortunate to have come through this again but with no great losses on her side and Clarke, beautiful and pliant and alive in her arms once more.

 

The kiss turned heavy then, as it sunk in just how close Lexa came to not having this and she felt like if this is all she did for the rest of her life, then her life would have been worth it. She whimpered as Clarke massaged the skin at her neck, digging her fingernails in just a little and Lexa felt the shiver like an eruption down her spine. She felt more alive than she had in a long time. The war was over, there were no pressing threats on the horizon, her people by all accounts were happy and there was a beautiful woman who was kissing her back with equal fervour and who wanted to be with her.

 

How could life get any better than that?

 

There was a cough to her left and quickly Lexa knew the answer to that very question.

 

"Moba, Heda," Dax said more than a little sheepishly, ducking his head "Wanheda."

 

Life would be much better if Dax had better timing that was for sure. Clarke and Lexa's lips parted regretfully but instead of pulling away from each other like before they remained exactly where they were, foreheads touching and still very much enjoying their moment.

 

"What is it, Dax?" Lexa asked softly, her eyes still closed and hands very much remaining in place.

 

Dax smiled a little too sillily for a general of Polis who had narrowly escaped death but he had never seen Lexa so soft and he thought it suited her, really. "Forgive me, Heda," he continued with a light cough. "The Azgeda warriors are imprisoned and Price Roan has asked to speak with you."

 

Lexa sighed, not particularly wanting to get back to reality. "I bet he has," she murmured under her breath, planting one last kiss to the tip of Clarke's nose.

 

Clarke would have giggled at Lexa's softness if they were alone but she just about managed to stop herself. She smiled instead and Lexa returned it before they parted and turned to face Dax, Lexa's one hand staying at the small of Clarke's back, however.

 

Dax had never seen The Commander behave even remotely domestic with anyone and it made a flash of warmth erupt through his chest. It took a raised brow from Lexa to get him to continue. "Lincoln also has something to discuss."

 

"Lincoln?" Lexa questioned curiously.

 

"Yes, Heda."

 

Clarke turned a little to Lexa. "What could Lincoln want?"

 

Lexa remained looking at her general, pressing him for more information.

 

"He will only speak with you, Heda," Dax offered unhelpfully.

 

All Lexa really wanted to do was retire somewhere private with Clarke and stay as close to her as possible. Preferably naked and in a bed so she could remind her repeatedly just how important she was to her. Lexa knew they still had plenty to discus and undoubtedly Clarke would question her at some point, over her decision to have Zeek take her out of the battle but for now Lexa just wanted to kiss her, play with her fingers in her own and whisper plans of forever in her ear.

 

"Your Command tent is also ready for you, Heda," Dax said, pulling Lexa from her thoughts as if he had somehow heard them. "For when you wish to use it."

 

His lips pulled into a sideways smirk but then he turned away before Lexa could reprimand him for it and then he started back toward the clearing.

 

Clarke couldn't help her grin either and after a moment the two of them moved to follow him, Lexa's hand slipping from Clarke's back but Clarke kept close enough so the edges of their fingers touched.

 

"Your Command tent, huh?" Clarke murmured, feeling the need to erase the day completely from her memory.

 

"Yes," Lexa smiled back at her.

 

Clarke nodded. "So how long do you think you're going to be?"

 

Lexa's expression broke out into a full on grin and she knew she was going to have to get that under control before she stood before her new prisoners. She coughed a little under her breath.

             

"As quick as possible."

 

**/**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
> **  
> Translations.  
>   
> 
> "Azgeda."  
>  _"Ice Nation."_
> 
> "Trikru."  
>  _"Tree People."_
> 
> "Natrona."  
>  _"Traitor."_
> 
> "Hod op!"  
>  _"Stop."_
> 
> "Yu haiplana don teik daun."  
>  _"Your Queen is defeated."_
> 
> "Nomon."  
>  _"Mother."_
> 
> "Chil yo daun."  
>  _"Stand down, all of you."_
> 
> "Stumucha."  
>  _An utterly deplorable person._
> 
> "Shof op."  
>  _"Be quiet."_
> 
> "Yu kwelen. Yu na kwelen otaim."  
>  _"You are weak. You will always be weak."_
> 
> "Pleni!"  
>  _"Enough!"_
> 
> "Sha, Heda."  
>  _"Yes, Commander."_
> 
> "Moba, Heda."  
>  _"I'm sorry, Commander."_
> 
> "Wanheda."  
>  _"Commander of death."_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :)


End file.
